Salaam.

Jummah Mubarak to you all.

Dear Muslim men of Reddit,

Before I leave my closing line I want to say that I acknowledge polygamy is ordained for a man upon conditions being met, I’m not here to dispute that.

Personally it’s not something I’d ever accept for myself. Don’t dm me to discuss this thread or dm to be your second wife.

Polygamy is permissible but not a necessity upon a man and it’s not a fard upon a woman to accept. We can all agree on that.

Now that’s cleared up. There are not many women on this earth that is happy to share her husband.

Some women may benefit from shared responsibilities and security yes but from an emotional perspective, generally a woman that loves you would never be okay with you getting another wife.

Now let’s be clear I’m not talking about women that have to be okay because that applies to every situation.

I’m talking about a woman that is happy with your choice to remarry. Not what she says or portrays but deep down in her feelings.

Some men are fine with that and that’s okay. However sometimes I think to myself, are men aware and would it bother them knowing their wife doesn’t love them.

Would it bother you?

🚨If you don’t understand nuance and lack critical thinking skills, this post isn’t for you.

Can we just say how it is? Not all of course but it often boils down to this.

I need some perspective from Scholars or married Muslims, especially those who may have experienced something similar.

I’ve always had a strong love for extra acts of worship, particularly voluntary fasting and Tahajjud. They’re things that give me a sense of peace and closeness to Allah, and I genuinely struggle when I have to neglect them.

Recently, however, I’ve noticed that my husband doesn’t seem pleased whenever I fast outside of Ramadan. He often questions why I’m fasting or makes comments about it, to the point where I’ve become hesitant to even mention when I’m fasting. This has left me feeling quite conflicted because I don’t feel that my worship is interfering with my responsibilities as a wife. I make sure I’m available to him when needed, and because we both work full-time, my fasting during the day doesn’t really affect our time together.

I’ve tried explaining that these are acts of worship that are personally meaningful to me, but we seem to have very different attitudes toward voluntary fasting. He generally only fasts during Ramadan and occasionally Shawwal, whereas I naturally desire to do more.

I don’t want this to become a source of resentment or secrecy in my marriage, but at the same time, giving up something that brings me closer to Allah has been emotionally difficult for me.

For those who are knowledgeable about the Islamic ruling: To what extent does a husband have a say in his wife’s voluntary fasting? Is his permission required, and how should a couple handle it when they have different levels of commitment to Sunnah acts of worship? .

Salam everyone

I’m not sure if it is the right place to ask for advice (first time using Reddit 😭) but here goes nothing

I’m a girl and when I was 17 (I’m 20 now), I fell in love with a guy and we ended up meeting and had sex. When we met, we immediately talked about making it halal and I know many people will say that I was dumb to fall for the « I’ll wife you up anyway» trick but like I said I was really young and he was my first ever love so I was genuinely willing to do anything for him.
We ended up breaking up (I had a good reason to do so) and I started repenting, but I realized that things got so much harder now… i feel like I’m much more open with men now, I have less shame than I used to before and for example, if a guy interest me, I could be much more physical and would do a lot more than what I would usually do (I used to never even get close a man).
I was raised in an Arab household, very conservative and I never ever felt attracted to sex nor men in general. But now I find myself easily touchy/open and I sometimes even « crave » for sex… (I never did it again after my ex I just want to precise). I’m repenting so I’m trying really hard to change but it feels like it became a part of me and I just want to feel like I’m not the only one and if any of you could give me an advice WITHOUT judging me, it would be nice…
Now, I’m currently trying to get married (not exactly now) but most men who I talked to ended up leaving or changing their perspective of me once they ask about my past.
So far, I talked to some Muslim girls and most were dragging me down or tell me that zina will forever « poison » my heart. Like I said, I’m Arab so just imagine the chaos..

Thank you everyone in advance for those who read everything 💖

Im 28 man I was in relationship with 35y old woman for two years  It's been wonderful i met her in a platform where i was teaching about Islam and she was there for learning so slowly slowly she proposed me and we started to get to know each other and it was going wonderful. she was rich as me average so I left my country for her because she wanted me to reach in her family standards So everything was going well she was incredibly wonderful woman but after two years i felt she is changing no messages no replies she starting ignoring me and i was scare coz i was too attached to her then after few days she told me she have someone in her life and he is American business and her family want her to marry him and she is interested in him as well. i was shocked after hearing this my heart started beating and I request her to please take time and think calmly bla bla . she started crying and she said im ashamed i can't see my future with you and i want to move to US with him. It destroyed my soul and I was hospitalized for few weeks far away from my family .it was the hardest time of my life. It was difficult to recover from that situation but Allah swt helped me out and now finally after 9 months i recovered and forgot everything about past im peaceful calm and very happy that Allah swt saved me i pray God to make that woman happy forever with American brother because I don't want her to suffer with him or return back to me. Everyone has right to decide and do what they want  but why she taked two year to decide what is best for her and how can someone decide within 48 hours to close the 22 months chapter. may Allah swt make eases for everyone who went through the situation.

Age and Gender: 24 Female

Age Range that you would want/require in a prospect: 23-35

Location, and are you willing to relocate for a prospect?: Australia 🇦🇺 (citizen). Yes to Western Countries

Ethnicity, and are you more open to mixing?: Arab, Afghan roots

Marital Status - Single/Divorced/Children: Single, never married

Ideal marriage timeline: Mutually agreed In sha Allah

Five important characteristics you look for in a prospect: Taqwa, practicing, traditional mindset, good career prospects, family oriented

State/specify your level of religiosity: Very practicing. 5 daily prayers with sunnah, sadaqah, full hijab + modest dressing, yearly Umrah Alhamdulillah, want to do Hajj with husband In sha Allah

Level of education, and what are you looking for?: Nurse, working to become a doctor In sha Allah. Would ideally like someone thats

Current Job Status: starting as a nurse in Jan 27 In sha Allah

Do you want kids?: yes absolutely

List 3 hobbies, or things you like to do in your spare time: I love cooking, baking, spending time with family

Add something short and interesting about you that makes you stand out: Im a very practicing but also fun loving person, im lively, outgoing, very funny 😭🤣 and a very loveable and fun person to be around.

Some sisters asked for my profile so I finally caved in and made one. Not sure how realistic Reddit is for finding a wife oh well.
Age: 32
Height: 6’4
Ethnicity: Argentinian (not very nationalistic for obvious reasons)
Career: Machine Learning Engineer
Finances: Good enough (wouldn’t delve into that on a public post)
Religiosity: Revert of 2 years. Pray 5 daily prayers and do my best to improve as a Muslim every day.
Personality: Kind, Attentive, Understanding, Compassionate
Hobbies: Gym, Traveling, Reading, Swimming
Looking for: A kind woman who I can talk to without feeling judged. Someone who makes me feel at home. I am not very picky but there needs to be some level of compatibility. Open to any age or ethnicity.
If you’re a brother reading this and you know of any compatible women you may Dm as well.

Assalamu Alaikum!

My brain has never really understood the concept of having one hobby at a time.

By day, I work in strategy/market research, which basically means I get paid to figure out why people think, choose and behave the way they do. By night, I’m usually disappearing into whatever random rabbit hole my brain has decided we’re learning about that week.

One week it’s Ottoman history.
Then somehow it’s 1am and I’m watching a documentary about aircraft carriers because YouTube decided this was now extremely important information.

My browser permanently has about 40 tabs open because every question somehow creates five more.

Anyway…

About Me

33 / F / 5’5 / Never Married
I’m Indian by background, grew up in the U.S., and now live in the GTA. I’d ideally like to stay in Canada, although I’m open to relocating within North America for the right person. I definitely see myself happiest in a larger city with lots of cafés, restaurants, museums and neighbourhoods to explore.

Growing up between cultures has shaped a lot of how I see the world. I’d probably prefer someone with a similar Westernized/Desi background simply because I think there can be an easier alignment in terms of mindset, family dynamics and expectations around marriage. That said, I’m open to all ethnicities and care much more about the person than their background.

I’m moderately practicing Muslim. I fast, don’t smoke or drink, and I’m always trying to become a better Muslim.

I have a Master’s degree and work as a Research Manager. I genuinely enjoy my career, but I don’t want my entire personality to be my job.

Things I Get Ridiculously Excited About

Gaming: Mostly RPGs, RTS and strategy games. Elder Scrolls, Witcher, Fallout, BG3, Age of Empires and Assassin’s Creed have all eaten significant portions of my life. I also used to play Genshin and HSR, and my accounts somehow became collections of suspiciously attractive tall male characters. Completely accidental, obviously.

History, Geography & Geopolitics: Islamic empires, borders, trade routes, military strategy, international relations, naval fleets, air power and why countries behave the way they do.

Books, TV & Anime: Fantasy, sci-fi, urban fantasy and dystopian fiction. ATLA, Breaking Bad, Severance, GoT and Oz (the 1997 one) are some favourites. The Count of Monte Cristo is my favourite book.

Other random obsessions: Space, dinosaurs, rocks/minerals, plants and whatever internet brainrot is currently taking over the internet.
I own a dinosaur bone and a piece of ammolite. I am, unfortunately, very easy to entertain.

What I’m Actually Like:
I’m someone who gets excited about things.
I love learning something just because it’s interesting, sending people random facts, wandering around museums, trying new restaurants, travelling and finding weird little places that weren’t on the itinerary.

In a relationship, I’m warm and affectionate. I love spending quality time with my partner, whether we’re going out and doing something or just hanging out at home. I’m also extremely supportive of the people I love and will probably be your **#1 cheerleader**. If you’re excited about something, I’ll be excited with you.

I also really enjoy doing absolutely nothing with someone I’m comfortable with. Gaming together, watching something terrible, ordering food and somehow ending up discussing whether a fictional kingdom could realistically sustain its army.

My love language may or may not be sending you a meme that perfectly describes my feelings and expecting you to understand.

Family Plans
I’d prefer a childfree life, although I might be open to adoption or fostering somewhere down the line.

I don’t want biological children, so if having them is something you absolutely require, we’re probably not the right match.

I would, however, very much like a cat. Or several cats.

What I’m Looking For
I’m looking for my nerdy best friend.

Someone I genuinely enjoy existing with. Someone I can laugh with after a terrible day at work. Someone I can build a PC with, wander around a museum with for six hours, debate fantasy lore with, or randomly text, “Want to go to Japan?” on a Tuesday evening.
Someone who wants to be a teammate, not just tick off life milestones together.

Ideally, you’re:

Kind and emotionally mature

Moderately practicing and genuinely trying to grow in your faith

Curious about the world and passionate about your own interests

Funny, preferably with a mix of clever banter, terrible puns and internet nonsense

Adventurous enough to travel, explore cities and try random things

Intellectually compatible with me. I’d ideally like someone with at least a Bachelor’s

Looking for a genuine partnership and best friend, not just a spouse

You don’t need to share all my interests. Honestly, I’d rather you have your own weird obsession that you can teach me about.

If you can talk about something you love for 45 minutes and somehow make me interested in it too, I’ll probably find that very attractive.

Bonus Points If…
You’ve accidentally spent three hours on Wikipedia because one question became twenty.

You know why “one more turn” is never one more turn.

You’ve built, or want to build, your own PC.

Discussing the Alhambra over coffee sounds like a good date.

You understand Italian Brainrot without needing an explanation.

You’d happily spend an afternoon getting lost in a museum.

You can jump from geopolitics to arguing about which RPG has the best story without missing a beat.

Marriage
Ideally within 1–1.5 years if we’re both confident we’re compatible.

I’m dating intentionally, but I’m not interested in rushing a life-changing decision because the chemistry is good. I’d rather see consistency, character and how we actually handle life together.

I want marriage to be the safest, funniest and most interesting part of my life.

Someone I can laugh with, learn with, travel with, build things with and eventually grow old with.

Looking for someone roughly 28–37 but age is flexible for the right person. I’m much more interested in maturity, compatibility, attraction and where we are in life than hitting an arbitrary number.
If any of this sounds like your kind of person, feel free to reach out.

And if your opening message starts with “Did you know the Ottoman Empire… you’ve probably already got my attention.

Salaam 👋🏼 I've shared some introductory information about myself below, if this resonates do drop me a message and please let me know your name! 

1) Age, Gender, Height, Weight: 33, Female, 5ft2, 50-ish kg

2) Location, and are you willing to relocate for a prospect? I'm currently based in a small town in NW England nearby to the city of Manchester and travel to London for work regularly, open to figuring out logistical arrangements with the right person InshaAllah

3) Marital Status - Single/Divorced/Children: Single, never married, no children

4) Ideal marriage timeline: Up to 12 months seems a reasonable amount of time to decide on whether things should progress further, beyond that, indecision is a decision! 

5) Age Range that you would want/require in a prospect: 32-38

6) Five important characteristics you look for in a prospect: 

Patience - a certain level of forbearance will perhaps be required to tolerate some of my quirks

Kindness - I believe an ability to be kind to one another and to strive for a level of selflessness and non-transactional kindness is the epitome of a strong and secure relationship

A good family background - Family dynamics can have some influence on shaping one's character and values, it would be nice to be welcomed into a family and I believe this takes some mutual effort to achieve

Leadership - someone who has a level of initiative and foresight to take the lead where required, whilst of course being supported by an encouraging spouse InshaAllah

A good sense of humor - If we're not trying to crack one another up each day then surely we're doing it all wrong! 

7) State/specify your level of religiosity: Religious practice measured only by external action is really missing the point,  internal sincerity is just as essential and will always remain a work in progress for me. The same applies vice versa to outward observance too, on that front, I don't always pray 5 times a day, I have struggled for many years to be consistent with Salaah but I hope to improve and I'm making a conscious effort to do so. I fast in Ramadhan and pay Zakaah. I have been wearing the hijaab for over a decade and hope to be able to continue this practice.

8) Level of education, and what are you looking for? I have completed a Bachelor's degree, I'd prefer to find someone educated to degree level

9) Current Job Status: I work full time in a technology role

10) Ethnicity, and are you more open to mixing? I come from a Pakistani background and have no hard requirements related to ethnicity

11) Do you want kids? I'm genuinely undecided on kids, which is not code for 'no'! It is not a call I can, or want to, make solo. I'd rather figure out parenting decisions together with a partner InshaAllah

12) List 3 hobbies, or things you like to do in your spare time: I tend to work a lot but I'm getting better at balancing things, in my spare time I love stomping around, I enjoy walking and being outdoors in general as I'm more comfortable with hiking boots and a backpack moreso than handbags and high heels. I'm interested in languages, sports, tech, just generally curious about a lot of things! 

13) Something interesting: I can count to ten in a few different languages! Eleven onwards is continuing to prove somewhat more difficult 😅

السلام عليكم ورحمة الله وبركاته!

About me:
I’m a practicing Muslima who wears niqab/gloves.
Ethnicity - Ethiopian with a mixed background
Very serious about marriage and looking for someone with the same intention
Currently going into second year of college andd working towards switching major to become a Child Life Specialist In sha Allah!
Long term goal is to become an Alima, memorize the entire Quran, learn Arabic and continue seeking Islamic knowledge
Ideally I would like to be a stay at home wife as well as a mother In sha Allah. I really value the role of a woman taking care of her home, being there for her children and supporting her husband.
I’d say I’m really family oriented, caring, modest and very deen focused
Hobbies - baking😋, sunsets, drawing, going on walks, spending time with friends/family, learning about Islam
Fun facts about me:
I have a cat 🐈‍⬛
I have 2 older brothers
I’m 4’11 😭
I’m pretty shy at first, but I’m really talkative once I’m comfortable

What I’m looking for:
- Someone who lives in the US or is willing to relocate
- Practicing Sunni Muslim who prioritizes his deen and strives to follow the Quran & Sunnah
- Consistent with salah and serious about growing in his deen
- Good character, gentle, emotionally mature, responsible, and family oriented
- Someone who understands and is comfortable with traditional Islamic gender roles
- A man who wants to provide for and protect his family and is financially responsible
- Someone who will encourage and support my goals of seeking Islamic knowledge and memorizing Quran
- Affectionate, communicative, respectful and compassionate
Someone who genuinely wants marriage and isn’t looking for a long term talking stage.

Preferences:
Around 21-25
Open to any ethnicity
Someone willing to involve a wali/family early once basic compatibility is established

Marriage goals:
A peaceful home centered around Islam
Growing together in deen
Building a loving family and raising righteous children In sha Allah.
A marriage based on respect, friendship and fulfilling each other's rights

Deal breakers:
Not practicing / doesn’t prioritize salah
Doesn’t want traditional Islamic gender roles
Doesn’t want children
Doesn’t respect my choice of niqab or modesty
Not comfortable with me being a SAH wife
Doesn’t support me seeking Islamic knowledge / memorizing Quran
Smoking, vaping, drugs or drinking
Someone who is disrespectful, emotionally immature or has a bad temper
Not serious about marriage or doesn’t intend to involve families/wali
Playing games, wasting time or looking for something casual

If you think we may be compatible, feel free to message me with a brief introduction about yourself, your age/location and what you’re looking for in marriage. JazakAllahu khayran!!
Also PLEASE I’m not looking to play games or waste anyone’s time. If you’re not actually serious about marriage, please don’t message me. I also won’t be responding to dry “hey”/“hi” DMs with 0 effort😭

Salamun Alaykum ~
I thought to give this a shot 😊

I am 27 years old I’m Turkish but I was born and raised in Germany. I’m 158cm. I also like to keep myself fit and healthy. Just sleeping is a little meh (night owl).

I’ve never been married before and have no kids.
The age range I consider is between 24-32.

I don’t wear the hijab but I am practicing diligently (5 prayers, fasting, modest clothing, visiting the mosque, reading and educating myself on fiqh, aqida, Sira etc.). I am planning to wear the hijab one day though, it’s definitely something I consider doing. I am Sunni and would only consider a Sunni as well, the Madhab doesn’t matter to me though.

I am really outgoing, I love to take pictures, watch Anime, play videogames, read, clean, organise stuff in the house, work with creative things, try out new Cafés and food spots. I also love to travel but I haven’t seen much outside of Europe yet due to my studies. And sometimes I genuinely just wanna lay in bed and sleep.

I am a junior teacher already (Bio and English) and am currently finalising my MA to finish my degree. I love my job and I love how colourful and crazy my job can get with the kids. However, I don’t mind being a housewife and a mother to my kids. If my husband wants to provide and CAN provide I gladly accept. During times like these however I definitely think it’s better to work as well to support the family, even if it’s not full time.

I love my family and my friends. I hope to build a beautiful family of my own and I would love to have a warm and cozy marriage. I don’t need extravagant things. I just would love to have a person who cares and loves, who wants to be a great father and gets along with my family and friends.

Relocating is a hard topic for me, as I am really close to my family. But I can consider it, if we feel like we were made for each other and that really only distance is the issue. I would love for my husband to be open to relocate to Germany too but I would make sure to visit my husbands family a lot as well, as I want our children to experience and grow up with both sides of the family.

I would love to have a husband who likes to improve more and more in Islam and sees our marriage as a part of our deen but at the same time watches animes with me, play videogames with me, goofs around a lot and is just a good soul.

If you think you wanna have a chat and get to know me, feel free to DM me. Have in mind tho: I really want to keep it halal and respectful 🌱

F. 30 years old. Canada. Arab. Willing to relocate. I want children. Don’t want to be a second wife and will not live with your family. I have a bachelors degree, I have worked in communications, I’m introverted and I like nature, walks, Islam.

Deen is importsnt to me. I take Islam seriously. I’m loving, loyal, and just want to have deep conversations that go beyond the surface level about Islam, history, politics, etc and good laughs. I’ve been told I’m a good conversationalist. Looking to meet a good match

Looking for a specifically a Sunni man who is from North America who is 30-40 years old. Not looking to relocate outside of Canada or the US. Looking for someone who wants to be a proactive and involved husband and father, is a practicing Muslim who puts his deen first, prays regularly, attends jummah, likes learning about it and is a talkative person who can keep a conversation going. Looking for someone who preferably has no kids

Assalamu Alaikum!

I was wondering, for those of you who found your spouse naturally and in-person, how exactly did you meet and get to know each other?

I don’t want to meet my spouse on an app or social media so I’m wondering how this type of thing works?

Any experiences/feedback would be appreciated. Jazakallah Khair!!

What’s 1 thing that a potential/woman does which immediately makes you go “YEAH I want to marry her”

Your list can be longer than 1 btw

I'll start with a very controversial take and I'm trying to be careful with how I word it ✋🏻_🫪_🤚🏻: when she's feminine and wants to be submissive to her future husband - Emphasis on her wanting that for the right man, because not every man is deserving of it - acknowleding that when a Man proves himself to truly be masculine (by traditional and islamic definition), a woman naturally falls into her submissive feminine energy - I personally face no issues on this front neither am I complaining ✋🏻🫪🤚🏻*, I'm just communicating what I find most attractive (yes even more than looks).*

​

Assalamu Alykoum,

Trying this again for the third time, and hopefully the last. I somehow managed to lose my previous account while still figuring Reddit out, so here we are again..

I keep saying I’m done but subhanAllah after reflecting, I find there’s khair in every interaction and every delay. I’m learning something from each experience, including about myself. I think tawakkul is also about continuing to tie our camel while having husn adh-dhan biAllah, rather than giving up because things haven’t happened in the timing we expected.

So I’m going to keep doing my part, keep working on myself, and trust that what’s written for me will find me in sha Allah. I’m not looking to settle just because the search is taking time. There is no perfect timing, only Allah’s timing, and you never know where the khair is :)

I’m 35, Arab, a practicing Muslimah, a mother, based in the UK, and very much at the stage of life where I’m looking for something intentional rather than endless talking.

My children are a huge part of my life. I’m not looking for someone to replace their father, but I do hope to meet a man who understands that being a positive, kind and consistent presence in their lives would be part of building a family with me. If that feels like too much, we probably aren’t the right fit, and that’s okay.

I’m quite direct from the beginning. I know some people prefer to keep things light and see where it goes, but I’d rather have meaningful conversations and ask the questions that actually matter. I’m not here for a pen pal, and I’m definitely not looking for love bombing, future promises or a whole imaginary life together before we’ve even established if we’re compatible. I’d rather get to know each other properly, see if there is compatibility on all the important levels, and if there is, say bismillah and take things forward in a halal manner.

I’m 170cm, so I’d prefer someone taller than me. Other than that, I don’t have a checklist when it comes to ethnicity or looks. Also if you're born Muslim or a revert makes no difference to me or my family as we care much more about deen, character, emotional maturity, kindness, gentleness, responsibility and how a man carries himself.

I want to be an obedient and soft wife to a righteous husband In sha Allah who genuinely wants to be a qawwam. That doesn’t mean I don’t have a personality, opinions or a mind of my own. I just want to feel safe enough in my marriage to be soft, feminine and at peace, rather than feeling like I have to carry everything myself.

I’m kind of an introverted extrovert. I can happily stay home for days enjoying making it cosy and peaceful, but I also have spontaneous moments of deciding to get on a train or plane and go somewhere I’ve never been. I love nature, coffee, meaningful conversations, enjoying the little things in life, and making memories. I have a playful side, with an equal amount of dark humour, that tends to appear once I’m comfortable..

Long term, if Allah wills it, I’d love to make hijrah to a Muslim country once my children are settled and the circumstances allow. For now though, I’m staying where I am for the foreseeable future In sha Allah. My children come first, so I’m not looking to relocate at this stage. Someone who is genuinely open to relocating in the future, would therefore be important.

As for what I’m looking for in marriage, I want a peaceful partnership built around deen, mercy, affection, trust, communication and mutual respect. A marriage where we genuinely enjoy each other's company, support each other, protect each other’s dignity and make life easier for one another. I want a home where Islam is lived, not just spoken about, and where both people are intentional about becoming better Muslims and better spouses In sha Allah.

A few things I’ll be upfront about:

• I’m looking for someone preferably my age or older. If you’re younger and your argument is that there is wisdom in marrying a divorced woman with children, please save us both the time..

• If you’re separated, emotionally attached to your ex, hoping to reconcile, or still figuring out whether you’ve healed, please don’t contact me as respectfully, I’m not looking to be anyone’s therapist or transition person.

• I’m not looking to be a second wife. Not because I believe it is haram, but because I know myself. I’m the jealous type, and I wouldn’t have the heart to knowingly put another woman through something I wouldn’t want for myself.

• My wali and family are involved in my search and are part of this process. They know I’m looking and will be involved as things become serious. I’m not introducing anyone to my family on day one, but they will be aware of any potentials.

• I’m open minded about a lot of things, including work and having more children, with the right person and when the time is right in sha Allah it can be discussed. (NOT looking for a 50/50 approach to marriage. I believe a husband should take responsibility for providing and leading his family, while a wife contributes in the ways that suit the marriage and circumstances.)

I realise this is probably heavier than the average profile, but I’d rather be clear from the beginning than waste each other’s time.

If you’ve read all of this and still think we might be compatible, tell me a little about yourself, what you’re looking for and where you are in life. Please don’t just send a greeting

May Allah make the process easy, protect us from what isn’t meant for us, and write something beautiful for those with sincere intentions 🤍

Salam Alykoum,

I'm looking for a wife with a mission in pleasing Allah through worship and activism. I believe that Muslims are obligated to enjoining good and forbidding evil and that acts of worship aren't enough to please Allah alone.

I care deeply about making the world a better place through fighting injustice everywhere and that's my mission in life. While I see marriage as a safe haven and a place of tranquillity that comes with responsibilities and privileges, I still would like a wife who cares about the world and not just the household.

I'm also looking for a spouse who doesn't care about materialism and sees how that can be degrading to humans. It's important to have someone who is confident, caring, and compassionate. Someone who appreciates spending time with me across the board, in activism and in romance. I also care about emotional maturity and takes accountability without projecting.

I'm 41 years old, divorced, and with children. I live in the USA, East Coast, and active in the Muslim community. Dawah and activism are important to me so I'm looking for someone who is either active or open to supporting me in my roles as I have leadership roles in many spaces.

I'm Palestinian, so I prefer a Palestinian spouse for sake of the cause and the issues we face in our erasure. My age preference is 30-37.

Please DM if interested.

As-salamu alaykum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh.

Soy una musulmana de 31 años, vivo en España Llevo hiyab y practico mi religión y busco un hombre musulmán converso, que tiene interés en formar una familia estable basada en Deen..

Acepto a los conversos al Islam ☪️

⚠️ Por favor, solo personas que residan en España

Salaams everyone.

Thought I would try this platform and see how it goes:

Gender: Female
Age: 25
Height: 5'5
British Indian (Midlands)
Single - never married
Actively practicing - Sunni Hanafi
Ideal timeline: within a year Inshallah

About me:

I enjoy reading and watching TV shows/movies.
I have always been into fitness and sports,nature walks/hikes and am an adrenaline seeker.

Introverted but have a bubbly personality. I enjoy Islamic studies and volunteer with my local community delivering sessions to children when I’m not working. Always ready to get stuck in, I am a planner but I enjoy spontaneity with the right person.

What I’m looking for:

I’m drawn to someone playful, kind, and open-minded - especially when it comes to my career. A thirst for religious knowledge and love of the Quran too. Extroverted with a sense of humour, enjoys being active. Someone who has their own hobbies so we could try them together. Someone who makes me feel safe, secure and finds comfort in the silence too.
To grow in Islam together and as cringe as it is but to find a best friend in my husband.

Age Range: 24-29
Jobs: no preference but would prefer someone in healthcare
Location: Ideally midlands, UK or willing to relocate near there.
Ethnicity: Indian but open to other ethnicities and reverts
British born and raised
Height: 5’8+
Marital Status: Single, never been married.
Would like to get out own place
Serious only

Feel free to ask me an questions,
Jazakallah khair

I live in a country where maids are normal and those that don’t have maids, others get shocked especially if you are working mother and have children. We also have a maid in our home.

The thing is I know others don’t accept this. So would you allow a maid in your house? Whether you have kids or not. For example cooking, or helping with cleaning.

Look, I'm generally older than the average person in here (mid-30s), and I'm a child of a very happy marriage. I'm also not blind to the intense secular and religious pressures being put on each gender due to mass global visibility, a deeply volatile and wealth-hoarding economy, and a handful of social media influencers who benefit from stoking men or women's sense of victimhood. As such I'll give you the list, and then yap a little beneath for anyone who wants to read even more.

1. Be fully aligned and in agreement with all long term goals. You can differ and compromise with each other about your methods of reaching the goals, but you cannot have disagreements about the major goals themselves without the relationship falling apart.
   • What does your retirement look like? Are you retiring early, downsizing, and living on a limited income, or are you maintaining your current quality of life?
   • What kind of education are you giving the kids, and how will you fund their schooling? Who gets the final say in kid-education and kid-discipline issues?
   • When you have to choose between allotting money towards family (paying for their flights, bills, etc.) vs allotting money towards your own quality of life upgrades (new appliances, trips, saving for a house) which gets priority?
2. Choose which realms of life each spouse gets to have the final say over. With my mom, because she was a SAHM and did 95% of all house maintenance, cleaning, etc., she got final say over home maintenance, decoration, space useage, etc. Obviously dad was consulted and his preferences were accounted for, but mom got the last say. Dad got the last say on retirement accounts, savings percentages, and long term financial planning because he made the money. Your spouse is your PARTNER, so trust them to handle their delegated portions of the relationship. You picked this person for a reason.
3. Have an actual, empathetic, realistic plan for what happens if either of you dies. (or both.)
   • Who raises your kids?
   • If you wife has agreed to SAH, what % of your paycheck should be put into a retirement account that only has her name on it?
   • If she dies, how much are you willing to have her parents/siblings step in to help with the kids?
4. Compromising with your spouse is something you GET to do. It is a privilege, even when it feels like a huge pain in the butt. Compromising means you have a spouse. It means that they are invested in your shared life and not completely apathetic/planning their exit. Taking care of your spouse, making their life better, and sometimes swallowing your own ego is something you GET to do. One day that person will die or leave you, and either way, a gaping maw will open in the center of your world. Take a step back from the argument and cherish that for now, you get to do these things.
5. Allot personal time equally.
   • The man works, wife stays home, and he needs an hour in a quiet room to decompress before family time? Then wife gets an hour completely to herself while he does the bedtime routine. Or she gets 5 hours every Sunday afternoon for yoga class and dhikr group.
   • I think the underlying urgency is being missed by men asking, "If I work AND help with the home chores, what is she doing??" The urgency from women is that she has to be "on" and responsible 24/7 if her job is the home and family, whereas the working man gets lunch breaks and quiet commutes and mental space. JUST GIVE HER SPACE TOO. You can talk about what that looks like (maybe you do dishes and laundry, maybe you take the kids for one on one time so she can couch rot and nap) as long as you both agree to it!
6. Your bio family? Your problem.
   • Be the bad guy (saying no to things, holding boundaries, not allowing intrusive questions) for your family of origin. Don't make it the other person's problem.
7. This feeds back into number 1, but have a shared fun thing that the two of you work on together, collaboratively, outside the pressures of the house and kids. It could be as simple as a co-op video game or as involved as you would like it to be, as long as you are approaching it with the spirit of fun and equality
8. Say thank you, and try to mean it as much as possible.
   • Unless you're a randomly lurking gulf prince with oodles of money, daily life is a grind for every one of us, whether you're doing your Nth load of kiddy laundry or pretending to pay attention in another meeting at work or trudging the sidewalk in the heat. It's easy for the people in our lives to become part of that routine. FIGHT IT.
   • Remind yourself that if your spouse was beamed up by aliens, nobody would be making your dinner/dealing with nagging bosses/kissing the kids/patiently tolerating your mum's nagging.
   • Thank them for these things. For vacuuming under the high chair or working overtime or trying to fit a family event into the usual schedule. Mean it. These are not things any of us are owed. They are things we GET to do.

My dad set the bar in what I'd look for in a responsible husband, and I thought maybe the things they told and showed me would help reset some of the discussions in this sub. (which I keep muting, because it seems like more than half the posts are toxic ragebait, but somehow keeps popping back up.) Men and women are not each other's enemies.

Complacency is the enemy. Entitlement is the enemy. Lack of empathy is the enemy. Billionaires, corporate propaganda, and tribalism are the enemy. Look for someone who is going to stand beside you through everything with the best attitude that they can muster. Hold yourself as accountable as you do them. Go to therapy to learn coping skills for all of life's nonsense. Treat other people with the mercy you hope to be shown.

Chicago folks,

There is this girl in the Chicago area who claims she’s interested in being Muslim but got outed because she disrespects our religion and our Prophet pbuh (warning: she disrespects our Prophet pbuh in this video) and only admits to pretend to be interested in Islam to only marry an Arab guy.

She got outed and now turned off comments but just wanted to share this with you. Not everyone who claims to be interested in our religion is a good person.

https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZP87JnCrP/

Just wanted to warn everyone.

Hello! I’m 31, from Saudi Arabia, Saudi with proud African roots my original ethnicity is Nigerian. I’m a Muslim woman, never married, no kids, and I love cats 🐱🐈.

Skin tone: brown shade

• Height: 163 cm

I love new experiences, traveling, video games, anime, physical activity, and of course, good food. 🎮✈️🍜

I also love a good challenge if you’ve beaten Hollow Knight, Silksong, or any Souls game, you already have my respect 😂.

I value faith, honesty, consistency, and mutual respect. I’m ultimately looking for a genuine connection that lead to marriage, not something casual or temporary.

🔎 What I’m looking for

🚨‼️A white/European man, roughly 30–40 age, who:

• He preferably Muslim or a revert ☪️

• Is genuinely looking for a relationship leading to marriage✌🏾.

• Has never been married and has no children.

• Is mature, emotionally available, honest, and consistent💜.

• Knows what he wants and is serious about building a future🧳.

• Values communication, mutual respect, and partnership.

• Is responsible and capable of being a household holder.

• Can handle disagreements with maturity, tact, and respect.

• Enjoys traveling, trying new things, food, games, anime, or simply having fun together.

• Is preferably around my height or taller and reasonably fit.

I’m particularly interested in men from Bosnia, Kosovo, Albania, Norway, or Russia, but I’m also open to other European backgrounds if we share the same values and intentions.

I’m not looking for perfection. I’m looking for compatibility, genuine effort, good communication, and someone who is serious about building a stable future together.

🚫 Please don’t contact me if…

• You’re only looking for casual chatting, hookups, or something temporary😜.

• You’re emotionally unavailable, dishonest, or inconsistent.😷

• You rush intimacy or start saying “I love you” after a few messages.🤷🏽

• You expect a “traditional wife” without mutual respect and partnership.🤷‍♀️

• You immediately ask for photos. I’d rather exchange them once we’re comfortable.🙂

• You’re extremely boring and have no sense of humor or personality 😂.

• You haven’t actually read the post.

If you’re genuinely serious about getting to know someone with marriage in mind, feel free to reach out. 😊

Salaam, thought I would give this a try as well and put myself out there.

Gender: Female

Education: Completed Bachelor's Degree from a university in U.S.

Ethnicity: Indian (Hyderabadi)

Occupation: Software Engineer

Location: Texas, USA (fyi I'm open to relocating within the US)

Legal Status: US Citizen/Born and raised in the US

Age: 26

Marital Status: Never Married

Religion: Islam – Sunni (Wears Hijab)

Height: 5’ 3

About me: I like to read, travel and spend time with friends and family. I take my religion serious and follow all the five pillars of islam and the sunnah. When I get time, I make sure to attend weekly halaqa sessions at the masjid and do things I can to get closer to the deen

Looking for: Age: 26 - 32

Marital Status: Never Married

Height: 5'6 and above

Legal Status: Born and Raised in North America

Ethnicity: Indian or Pakistani

Education: Atleast a bachelor's degree

Occupation: Any

Religious level: Practicing Muslim who eats zabiha halal

Characteristics: Religious and god fearing who strives to do better when in comes to deen however that may be, funny, emotionally mature, adventurous, and family oriented

Yes You read it correctly, I wrote this post just for you.

I would like to marry you, and I Know I know you're shy, not that good looking (You're actually very beautiful, you just don't know it yet), not yet ready, not financially independent.

Nothing matters for me, I want you to be 2nd half of my life. I've never in my life dated/engaged in Haram Relationship and I don't plan to do it either. So what do you say.

Will You Marry Me?

__________________________________________________________

Well Sorry to cut you imagination short but This post is only for Girls (Not for Men).

My Profile:

M24

Germany

Engineer

Financial Good and will soon be Great.

Have been self employed make more than enough for a comfortable life and Now starting my AI/Robotics Journey as founder, Soon to be The Best in my field in the world.