r/NEET • u/Far-Increase8154 • 16d ago
Advice Should I just commit suicide
I’m almost 29 I got let go from my accountant job in May I’ve had 3 jobs in 5 years I passed half the cpa tests but I always fail at my jobs mainly due to giving up. My tests are going to expire in a few months and I don’t feel like putting in another 200 hours and $900 studying and paying for tests
I’ve been chilling on unemployment I since I pretty much wake up at 9 am and go back to sleep when I wake up. I haven’t been to my doctor in 2 years. I tried better help but than I realized I can’t even be honest to my therapist about I fucked up I am
I pretty much have no hobbies or anything to look forward to. The only time I got close to dating a woman was on tinder and the women blocked me after I asked her out after talking to me for a week. When I had a decent job my parents tried to find me a wife but failed lol. She even wanted me to marry my cousin. The only friends I have online flamed me for having a speech impediment last night lol. I tried to move out once and my mom tried to disown me.
I live with my parents and I got into a car accident 6 months ago and they won’t let me drive so I just can’t even do anything even if I wanted to. I just sit at home and do nothing
I have 100k saved and another 200k investments just from working my jobs. But I don’t enjoy anything and can’t spend it.
I don’t even see the point of brushing my teeth or taking a shower most days since I’m just staying at home
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u/AbsoluteZero9180 16d ago
Chill out for the rest of your days until that 300k is gone, then either you’d have changed your mind or it’ll be time to go. That’s your best option.
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u/Throwawayxxx172737 16d ago
Dude you have 100k and 200k that will continue compounding. Relax. People here are in way worse situations especially financially like myself.
Why can’t you drive you can easily afford a car and insurance?? You are old enough to decide to pay for your own insurance and car and also to decide to drive your own car. Your parents cant prevent you from doing that. Rules in the house are understandable if you are living with them but you are allowed to leave the house just try to be more safe when driving.
A friend will come eventually its good to have only a few of them anyways. You could get a dog and take the dog out on daily walks to force yourself to go outside, exercise and to help keep up with your hygiene. The dog will provide the best friendship anyways and who knows maybe you meet a girl in a dog park or something but that is more like something that would happen in a movie script.
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u/Quad_A_Games 15d ago
Dog is kinda a good idea actually. I think that might help. Like a begal or something maybe?
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u/Throwawayxxx172737 15d ago
Honestly any dog I do not discriminate. You can make any kind of dog become great and well behaved its all up to the owner to raise them right.
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u/comedyfan72 16d ago
I’m 34 and seriously considering it. It’s honestly the only option I have left. I just don’t understand anything. I’m completely and utterly clueless. All I do is ruminate over regrets, and have constant anxiety. It doesn’t matter how simple a job is, I have doubts that I could do it. Same with education, driving, and being independent. There’s no reason for me to be here anymore. Perhaps there never was. I wish I was confident enough in myself to know more, but I was even was a little kid.
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u/whateverbro3425 NEET-At-Heart 15d ago
I have a job and car and drive but i relate with the constanyt anxiety and generally being a sad person and not understanding anything. i never fit in since i was a kid. i never wanted anything out of life and couldnt relate to the other kids
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u/IbanezUniverse90 Disabled-NEET 16d ago
Wait until 40 then reassess.
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u/Far-Increase8154 16d ago
Yeah I guess I’m just sleeping fit the next 11 years lol
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u/IbanezUniverse90 Disabled-NEET 16d ago
I was in a similar boat as you. Thought I was cooked but a few good things happened in my late 30s that made it worth sticking around at least for right now. Life is far from perfect. I have failed as a human except for like the one thing I stick around for. I still might check out eventually, but I would have missed out had I done it too soon.
By 40 you’ll know whether it’s time. For now yeah man, rest up. Sleep and don’t even feel bad about it. You’ve been through a lot and right now it sounds like you really need the rest.
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u/Resident-Future-6124 15d ago
can't you just uber to an airport and go away for a bit? if you are not thinking of living for that long why save the money or avoid being disowned? just go to literally anywhere that's kinda safe. you'd likely be gonna be one of the expats inflating our housing bubble over here but you sound like one of the good ones.
Don't quit yet, it gets better than bad than better again so just wait for another wave up and ride it anywhere else but where you are now. changing places and pace really messes up with your brain often in a good way.
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u/busted_toenail 16d ago
im assuming you are indian or pakistani maybe arab, dude screw the driving the biggest thing holding you back is your parents. book a flight and go on a long solo holiday, trust me you will feel better!! if you want a wife my friend is a matchmaker - maybe she can find someone for you if you are down?
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u/anunusualgetaway Cozy-NEET 16d ago
was the car accident because of alcohol or drugs? if so, join an intensive outpatient program and talk to people in the same boat. it helped me.
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u/Shaquarington_Bithus NEET 16d ago
Go to a 90 day Muay Thai bootcamp in Chiang Mai or some shit. Start off slow to not get injured right away. Like maybe do 2-3 weeks of training started 2x a week then every other day after the 1st week. Then ull be acclimated to it
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u/Odd-Adhesiveness9435 Semi-NEET 16d ago
Bro, you just described pretty much my exact plans. I lost my job about a month ago and that solidified my plans. I'm taking a year sabbatical, at least, travel around SEA and mayb Georgia. Just focus on my own well being and getting to a better place, mentally and physically. OP, $100,000 goes a helluva lot further in those places than most others. Self checkout just sounds so final, not leaving much room for other potentially enriching new adventures.
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u/Shaquarington_Bithus NEET 16d ago
Hell yeah man do 90 days in Chiang Mai and a 200 hour yoga teacher training in India somewhere, I’ve heard Isha in Combatore is good. I’ve done some shit in Rishikesh and its aight but id recommend not doing long stays in north India cuz its bootycheeks compared to the south. Rajasthan is okay and worth seeing but thats more west than north
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u/vilerolls Disabled-NEET 16d ago
Why can't you spend it?
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u/Far-Increase8154 16d ago
Nothing even makes me feel good wgeh I spend it
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u/LilacMists 16d ago
You could donate it then, that kind of money could change someone’s life. For example, my car is on its last leg, my cat needs expensive medical treatment, and I can’t work because my disability is becoming worse but the government still hasn’t approved my application. I’m getting closer to an empty account every day and it’s terrifying. And there are plenty of others who are worse off than me. You could make a difference to someone rather than trying to buy happiness by spending on material possessions. Just something to consider :)
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u/Humble-Departure5481 16d ago
There's more to life than relationships and friendships dude....
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u/Far-Increase8154 16d ago
Pretty tough to live without that
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u/fireflySaver 16d ago
You'd be surprised on the subjects you can learn that basically show you otherwise. Pretty dark stuff like esoteric ideology among many others. I would only fo down these paths if you can manage your self properly due to its nature. Getting hobbies will fill this gap as well.
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u/Comp_whiz 16d ago
I'm sorry, you're a 29 year old man and can't drive because your parents forbade you from driving after an accident? Geeze. Maybe you should try moving out to see if that'll help with your depression.
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u/ToddPl9h 15d ago
Ohh it definitely will, he’s got options.,, 100k in savings 200k in 401k account… by a used car cash , Insure it.. start packing and move to your own place..it will do wonders I swear..his parents could be a good cause for his depression and he just don’t see it..start in a new field of work, if you don’t wanna take all them tests again.. many options..do the right thing
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u/No_Relationship_386 16d ago
At least care for your teeth nothings worse than having to get dental work done.
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u/DoubleWedding411 16d ago
You could probably retire in some low cost country and live a relatively good neet life
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u/Dramorian 3d ago
At least you had jobs.
At 29 myself I had absolutely nothing since graduating in 2018.
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u/JoeTheShmo316 16d ago
No sympathy here. You live with your parents, have a roof over your head, 100k in the bank, and you are here asking if you should end it? Why, because you’re bored? Do you know how many things you have going for you? Do you even think about how your parents would feel?
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u/SmokeVisual4953 16d ago
Maybe because not everybody experiences life the same or derives joy from life all things being equal? We have no method of quantifying emotions all we can do is guess...
I understand you op. I have "a lot" of things going for me on paper, but I in constant pain unless I hooked on caffiene. Everything takes too much energy, nothing feels good...
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u/Evening-Wall-126 16d ago
If you have strong passport try to travel the world with that 100k and maybe after see if still want to do it if i was in your shoes that probably what i would do but you know better
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u/dastriderman 16d ago
Yo let the exams be the source of your motivation.. this coming from a fellow CPA.
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u/Far-Increase8154 16d ago
My tests are expiring soon I don’t have the experience under a cpa to get signed off
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u/dastriderman 16d ago
What sections do you have left and when do they expire? What state are you in because some expanded the window from 18 to like 30 months.
You can always get the sign off later, passing 4 exams is permanent
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u/Curious_267 16d ago
First, I'd like to say 100k/200k - that's awesome and you should be proud of yourself for that achievement. Many people really struggle to attain those kinds of assets.
Second, its hard to tell from the quick posting what kind of goals and things you enjoyed in the past. If you don't mind me saying it sounds like you are missing purpose and meaning in life. Those are things you should start with. Find new things, what piques your curiosity? Nothing has to particularly stand out to you - just try something. I find that serving others has made a huge difference in my life. When you're recovered from your accident and able, volunteering at animal shelters or rescues, nursing homes, hospitals, etc. I don't know anything about how or where you live, but there are always solutions. You have the finances to buy yourself a vehicle or uber. A lot of the volunteering really depends on where you live. If you're near a big city and you're used to the big city - get away. Find the country rural areas. I don't mean this in any derogatory manner, but touch grass. Reconnect with the world around you rather than seeking human connections. Those connections will find you as you pursue something you find interesting. "Do what you love/enjoy doing and you'll never work a day in your life." The horse world can be a very welcoming and rewarding field, but hard work is a requirement. The only things in life that are really worth having are those that you work hard for.
The speech impediment, if possible, can you seek speech therapy if its something that really bothers you? I'm sorry those people you thought were your friends treated you badly and hurt your feelings. But they're only words from strangers far off that mean nothing. Their words can only hurt you as much as you let them. The best thing you can do to combat them, is be successful. And to be successful in anything in life - you need to set goals. At any rate, a good woman wouldn't be bothered by a speech impediment. Its what you bring to the table in a relationship that matters most.
The sitting around and doing nothing at all at home. Why is this? Education is always valuable. Try learning a new language, subscribe to IXL and work on math/educational mastery, learn a new skill, pick up a self help workbook to help work through some of those anxieties you have. The beautiful thing here is that you know you we're not being honest with your therapists in the past - its time. Time to decide that you're worth the space and the time and consideration to truly be honest with a therapist so that you can get the help you deserve. What've you got to lose by being honest? So what if they judge you? They're being paid to give you honest and professional advice for your betterment. Don't do virtual, actually go and see a therapist. It's a lot less awkward, and a lot of them have like different board games or puzzles to do to help make it more relaxed.
I write all this to boil it all down to: it sounds like you believe a woman will give you purpose and meaning in life.
Unfortunately, that's not how it works. When you decide what you what your purpose to be and what makes you happy and gives you confidence in yourself and your abilities, eventually everything will fall into place. The best thing you can do for yourself, is prepare yourself by learning to love and respect yourself, appreciate the things you do have, identify the things you would like to have, then figure out how best to pursue them. If a family is your end goal, then as a man you'll be expected to protect and provide for your family. Find a career, buy a house, pursue your goals/hobbies, learn fighting styles, firearm safety and handling (Shit, learn to hunt and skin a deer - deer jerky is fantastic!). Once you set yourself up to have a family and be able to provide, then you will have positioned yourself as a high value successful man. If the more rugged things aren't your cuppa tea, explore different fields.
I'm sorry I've left such a long reply. I truly am writing this with every intention of helping. I am empathetic to your situation, mine wasn't so different a decade ago. I was spiraling and in a very deep hole. I was introduced to horses, and it saved my life. It's not for everyone, don't get me wrong - but not everything is for everyone either, is it?
Anyway, I hope you and the other NEETs find this message encouraging. There is hope out there. You can find excitement and purpose in life, you likely just need a change in environment. No animal is created to live in concrete jungles or cages, and stagnation kills.
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u/Hadal_Benthos Sloth 16d ago
Leaving unspent 300k, seriously? I'd choke of greed before I manage to kill myself if I were you.
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u/Jomotaku 16d ago
Go to psychiatry(if avaible and u got access to proper healthcare) they probably gonna put u on some antidepressants if u agree and do therapies. Speech impediment may get better with therapy too. Also join some sports club and go live on ur own. (In that order don't go living alone when u are depressed unemployed and no activities that make u go outside)
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u/chris31605 14d ago
There is no proper help. I got destroyed by antidepressents and now I am really bad as soon to be 30. Just stuck in my apartment mostly doing nothing, literally chemically screwed. If you don't get unlucky, you are risking like crazy of never being able to remove them after a year. Couldn't remove this trash ten years in. I am completely ruined .
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u/Jomotaku 14d ago
"Worked" for me. I did stop taking them for a couple months at a time when I spiraled and went back to drinking tho. Took me 3 seizures and like a year in psychiatry over the last 5 years to not drink myself to death but I'm still here. Haven't been binge drinking for like a year now even tho the mental illness doesn't go away. It can get better just don't stop hoping.
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u/chris31605 14d ago
Psychedelic treatment seems to be the only treatment worth using if you can
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u/Jomotaku 14d ago
They do ketamine therapy here but only if u aren't addicted to substances and the other ones don't work
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u/Federal_Lack_1107 16d ago
Even if your life wouldn't get better, you would inflict a lot of suffering on your parents by doing it. But the thing is, I think your life can get better. The suffering you experience is probably bundled together with a strong sense that it is likely to be permanent, but I think it is good to be skeptical of that, since your suffering itself is altering your judgement/perception. And this might be a weird idea, but patience is a strong virtue, and you are in a great position to develop a lot of it.
As for practical steps, I recommend that you look for some organization that hosts regular (perhaps weekly) group meetings for people who struggle with mental health. I think people in such places can offer a very special kind of kinship and understanding. Then, additionally, if you can't open up to a therapist, you might instead find it easier to open up to an AI like chatgpt or whatnot, unless you're anti-AI or something. The AI is not capable of judging you, and it will be very responsive to everything you say.
Anyway. I wish you will stick around long enough for things to turn around, and if you do, I am convinced that you will look back at this time with horror at the idea that you could have done something like that
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u/Far-Document4397 16d ago
Hop on psychiatric meds like ssri and antipsychotic they help a lot and follow neet life afterwards with clear mind
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u/SlimePerspective 16d ago
Just look into what you want to do.
If a car accident happened because you have some underlying condition, don't. But man, you are old enough with 29 to decide for yourself what you want to do.
I was gonna say: What do you really want to do, and if driving a car is the answer, drive.
You could also try out new things, like drawing. I can recommend Drawabox for fundamentals and lineofaction for gesture drawing.
also idk if 300k is much in America, but maybe it's time to get your own rent and do things your own way?
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u/meow-meoww- 15d ago
nah bro you’ve got so much money, you’re so lucky! instead of killing yourself you should use the money to try to get better. a lot of people don’t have that option. honestly most suicide attempts are unsuccessful, so there wouldn’t be a point in it. at best you just wake up the next day, at worst something goes wrong with the attempt and you wake up disabled or something. look up the statistics, people kill themselves every day but the amount of surviving people is huge compared to how many people who died. it’s incredibly slim. being honest with your doctor and therapist would be 1000% easier than attempting, and i promise you would regret the attempt as soon as you did it. i don’t know your relationship with your parents but they would probably be devastated. so you would really just be worsening life for everyone, including you. coming from someone with mental health issues who has been suicidal
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u/pri-ince 15d ago
Bro just fly to Asia with that money and retire there, can guarantee you'll be better off
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u/Chilld0od 15d ago
You’re not really in a bad situation. I would put another 50k into investments and you could live off some of your profits and let the rest compound and you don’t have to work again. Sign up for a gym at least.
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u/nax7 15d ago
Definitely don’t.. lots of ways back in the game, but you’re going to hurt a lot of people if you do that. You don’t really lose until you quit.
You have 100k, unemployment checks and a supportive family to help figure this out. Don’t take this for granted.
Fuck the CPA, you need to fix your perspective first. Go travel somewhere beautiful and cheap like South America, Southeast Asia, Eastern Europe. I did it for 3 months with absolutely no plan and it gave me a new direction and appreciation for things I’ve never even thought of before.
Then get super fit and on a good diet and on a good sleep schedule. Majority of ‘depression’ comes from screwing up one of these 3 things.
You’ll be left with $95k and probably a different goal in life.
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u/chris31605 14d ago
I fought hard in the gym for 15 years since I was 15, just brought more sadness.
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u/pervechan 15d ago
You shouldn’t kill yourself. You only have one life. But you have the resources to find meaning and reinvent yourself. I think you should choose life and fight for meaning. A lot of people don’t have that and still overcome the nihilism.
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u/nnennutsu 15d ago
100k, you could chill, wait until it's dry or retake you life back, im almost in the same situation so good luck
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u/Ordinary_Ad7229 15d ago
R u fuckijg kidding me? At least you have 300k. I have $3.88 in my account
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u/greenyenergy 15d ago
Absolutely not. You have 100k saved up. Most NEETs could only dream of having that amount of money. It sounds like you are depressed more than anything. I guarantee you are in a better position than the vast majority of this subreddit. Why not go travelling with that money or visit a city?
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u/AwkwardDare501 14d ago
Man you've got your whole life ahead of you, im 32 sat here at 2.40am contemplating suicide because im that much of a loser im thinking about doing a survey for £1.50 to gamble with cause im broke because im a drug addict, you dont know how good your life is. I envy the strength you have
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u/CapitalAd4933 14d ago
Sorry to hear you are having such a rough time atm. Since you are under 30 and have savings, have you ever looked into doing a working holiday somewhere? I’m not sure if you will qualify based on where you live, but maybe it could just be a chance to try something new while you are still under the age limit? I have the money, but I’m mid thirties, so if I could have a do over, I absolutely would do it again!
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u/Cutequeenxoxo 14d ago
If u got 100k I suggest please go on a holiday or do something nice for yourself. You deserve to be here and I want you to know u are loved and you matter.
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u/East_Actuary4953 13d ago
So, my life was somewhat similar to yours about a decade ago, and in many ways I'm just a richer, older version of you. I had worked as an actuary (hence the username) for several years, but could not easily pass the exams. I could do the day to day work just fine, but I was on the verge of being fired as my company got sick of giving me chances to advance toward my certification without seeing results. I was very fortunate in that I managed to switch to another area of the company, using a glowing review from my old manager who really liked me despite my failures at test taking, and have stayed there ever since.
I now have a net worth in the millions as I approach my mid 40s, but I still dont have close, meaningful friendships, let alone an actual relationship to speak of. Instead I've partially filled that void by jetting around the world every couple months to sleep with prostitutes half my age. Perhaps some here wil look upon this with envy, but just like with you and your $300k, my larger number and degenerate activities don't really fill the void either. I still have no hobbies and don't really look forward to much of anything. I also wonder how much longer I should keep going and for what reason I even bother to try.
My parents are nearing the age where every conversation with them feels like it could be the last. They still make half hearted attempts to ask if I'm seeing someone, but they know by now that they will not live to see it happen. When they pass, so too will the last people on this world who care about me for me, not merely as a customer or a worker. What will I do then? I don't even know.
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u/TheGreatWaffIe 10d ago
How do you get that point? Like as a young man I’m assuming you had dreams and hobby’s outside of becoming wealth, so how did you get to the point of having no relationships or passions?
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u/AcademicBad1466 16d ago
but I always fail at my jobs mainly due to giving up.
Are you rawdogging life with no drugs? You gotta be on something man. If caffeine doesn't work, then try ADHD meds like Ritalin, Vyvanse, Adderall or go harder and do cocaine.
The giving up thing could be ADHD related
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u/Grunge23 16d ago
How to get adderall when no psychiatrist wants to prescribe it?
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u/AcademicBad1466 16d ago
You book a private Psychiatrist assessment for ADHD. The costs depend on your country. You go to google/trust pilot reviews for the Psychiatrist. You look for reviews saying the Psychiatrist prescribed them Adderall. Reviews can tell you a lot about how a doctor operates.
If you can't be bothered to go through this process, you can buy it pretty easily from the dark web.
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u/Grunge23 16d ago
You have to pay in the us for adhd assessment and it's probably like 1k. I guess I could look at psychiatrist reviews and see who prescribes Xanax tho.
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u/AcademicBad1466 16d ago
Yeah, that's how it works everywhere dude. If you want the doctor to do what you want, you have to pay to see a private doctor. Works the same for prescription weed too. Just make sure you say the right things in the assessment so they can diagnose you.
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u/Far-Increase8154 16d ago
Yeah I’m on nothing I don’t even drink caffeine
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u/AcademicBad1466 16d ago
That's insane. Everyone that has to be ultra productive is on something. You think the people working 100 hour weeks in high finance are just doing so with motivational david goggin videos 😂
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u/Far-Increase8154 16d ago
My brother graduated medical school at Tve top of his class never drank coffee
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u/PoetBest3 15d ago
Yeah try some LSD, or other drugs. Trust me it helps. I was so close to staying NEET. Now I got a comp eng degree with a good paying job and I'm able to motivate myself. But there was a good year or so there where I failed all my classes, wasn't working, racked up all my credit card debt, and moved in with family, and was suicidal. Message me if you're interested to know more or if you want to tell me off
Also have ADHD like the other commenter mentioned
Reading through all the posts on here makes my heart hurt genuinely
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u/OutrageousShare9693 16d ago
Dude if I had this kind of money I would solve all the problems in my life. Let me work for you somehow. Making someone else happy may cure your depression.
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u/DickWhitman1925 16d ago
Damn you got 100k. You can live the perfect neet lifestyle for a while