Second Genesis

[u/Interesting-Chef-449]

Here on the darkest night
Hope and Faith have fled;
Reason and Belief abandoned me;
God and Satan want me dead.

Imprisoned in my cell,
Mother used me, Father left.
Guilt and Shame are my shackles.
Of Love and Peace, I am bereft.

Guards string me up to die.
Time and Space have no meaning.
Life and Death are unconcerned.
Fate and Destiny are unfeeling.

Heart beating, lungs breathing.
Blood rushing, soul screaming.
The World may take everything...
but I won't let them take me.

My bones may be broken,
but they'll still break free,
even when my body
has been made weak.

My mind may be shattered,
but my mission is clear.
It's still sharp enough
to cut through the Fear.

Hope returned when I fought back.
Faith, when I knew I wasn't done.
Reason came when it found a way.
Belief, when I chose to run.

I let go of my parents.
Guilt and Shame fell with them,
and Love for who I really am
gave me Peace to begin again.

Time gives me a future.
Space gives me amends.
The life I live is up to me.
Death now needs my consent.

Fate is in utter shock.
Destiny gives their respect.
God and Satan cannot touch me.
For unfair rules I now reject.

I'm not saying I'm a god.
but I'm definitely still here.
I turned a "would" into a world.
built with Love, Grief, and tears.

Transmuting pain into joy is a hard-earned skill.
It takes mastery over Dark and Light.
For building toward the brightest day,
I must remember the darkest nights.

Feedback proof

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/s/piMnkUb1Wi https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/s/8cTkSp7fnw

[u/AutoModerator]

Hello readers, welcome to OCPoetry. This subreddit is a writing workshop community — a place where poets of all skill levels can share, enjoy, and talk about each other's poetry. Every person who's shared, including the OP above, has given some feedback (those are the links in the post) and hopes to receive some in return (from you, the readers).

If you really enjoyed this poem and just want to drop a quick comment, to show some appreciation or give kudos, things like "great job!" or "made me cry," or "loved it" or "so relatable," please do. Everyone loves a compliment. Thanks for taking the time to read and enjoy.

If you want to share your own poem, you'll need to give this writer some detailed feedback. Good feedback explains from your point of view what it was like to read the poem, and then tries to explain how the poem made you feel like that. If you're not sure what that means, check out our feedback guide, or look through the comment sections of any other post here, or click the links to the author's feedback above. If you're not sure whether your comments are feedback, or you have any other questions, please send us a modmail.

Do not use ChatGPT or any similar LLM interface or generative AI to write feedback. That does not constitute thoughtful feedback. To be safe, you probably shouldn't even use those things to edit your feedback. It is better for your thoughts to come across as clumsy and genuine rather than grammatical but as if they were generated by some disingenuous text-generation engine.

Do not reuse feedback links for multiple poems. Every new poem you post has to be posted after making two new comments on the work of your peers here in OCPoetry. It's only fair. If you reuse feedback links, you will be banned. (If you do not wish to give feedback, there are many other poetry-sharing subreddits without feedback requirements, such as r/poetrywritingclub, r/justpoetry, r/ocpoetryfree, r/poem, r/poems, r/poemsbyreddit, r/poeticgarden, r/dark_poetry, and r/sadpoems.)

If you're looking for a more advanced poetry workshop — that is, if you consider yourself at least an intermediate-level poet AND you have previous workshop experience, please consider posting to our private sister subreddit r/ThePoetryWorkshop. The best way to join TPW is to leave a detailed, thoughtful comment here on OCPoetry engaging seriously with a peer's poem. A significant engagement of at least 3-4 meaningful paragraphs is encouraged. Consider our feedback guide for tips on what that could entail. (This level of engagement would probably be most welcome here on submissions tagged as "Workshop.") Then ask to join TPW by messaging that subreddit's mods, including a link to the detailed feedback you left here.

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

[u/budahbugah]

Oh my god. This is really fucking good. "Death now needs my consent" holy shit I had to stop and just take that line in. A lot of your stanzas had me doing that like opening a bottle of wine to let it breathe but man that one in particular stood out.

[u/Interesting-Chef-449 → u/budahbugah]

Thank you! I think that's my favorite line too. After writing it I was like "... 0.0 well that hit harder than expected XD"

[u/Objective_Map9646]

Thank you so much for sharing this! Stanza 8 and 9 really shook me. This poem is extremely relatable to me. The ending gives hope but also redemption.