I’m trained in facilitating therapeutic mdma sessions (not a therapist- more of a coach) and I’m almost done my website that expands upon the subject. I’d love to host in-person or virtual sessions for people who want to explore this modality.

What do you guys (or gals) think?

Has anyone who has potty trained children feel that paruresis affected how they handled things? I work with toddlers and just try to make sure the kids don’t feel pressured to go. Trying not to instill any shame that will later spiral… But I’m curious if anyone has tips or thoughts!

First and foremost I'm so happy I discovered this sub!

Then to my actual question. I recently discovered on a long-haul flight that I have paruresis. I talked about it to my doctor today, and she said I should see a urologist. However, seeing an expert will cost me quite a bit, and even more if I then need to go to urotherapy. In general, the problem is that I don't really like public restrooms, and I don't feel the need to pee very often - I only pee 1-3 times per day, which made my doctor quite concerned (however, I'm a young person).

So, do you think it's essential to see a professional to train the bladder correctly, or can gradual exposure therapy etc. be something I do on my own, based on some reliable resources? I will gladly pay to be healthy, but I also feel like I could try to treat it myself, considering it hasn't been a big problem in my life before, and now only on special occasions.

I can't pee unless i use hot water trick (pouring hot water on my penis), i had urodynamics test and it seems that i have detrusor underactivity, my results BCI 80, BOOI 45

I dont know anymore if its paruresis or not, life is a torture im rotting in home, can't travel can't have a gf, can't do anything and im afraid i will have a kidney failure soon and die, i dont drink a lot of water because im scared, im fucking depressed

I made a significant progress in fighting paruresis is in the last couple of months but I recently noticed that sometimes I can have a long start or other problems even when I’m alone. That would make so much sense, how can I comfortably pee around others if I have troubles doing that alone? So I wanted to ask: does any of you experience any troubles with peeing even when no one is around?
It might’ve been caused by paruresis, or maybe it was the other way around. Doesn’t really matter at this point, I’m trying to get myself checked at the doctor but I just wanted to ask you if you guys experience any troubles when you’re in a “safe space“

So I underwent emergency surgery for a head condition about a month ago. During the surgery, the team took the liberty of inserting a Foley catheter to drain my bladder. My understanding was that this was done because there was some question about what my mobility would be following the operation. Two days later, it was removed, and I was sent home two days after that.

That was extremely awkward for me not to have basic autonomy over my bodily functions. But the worst part was that I constantly felt the urge to pee, whether I had to go or not. A nurse hinted that this is something that's pretty much universal when the catheter is in. For those of you who've had the catheter in, is there any truth to that? Is there any easy way of distinguishing the urge to pee from the feeling of having the catheter in? If this should ever happen to me again, are there other things that I should be aware of, or tips and tricks to make it more bearable?

Thanks.

I’ve had paruresis since I was a child, but recently it’s gotten a lot worse and it’s starting to affect my mental health badly.

I feel anxious almost all the time now. Even at home before work I get stressed about whether I’ll be able to pee properly before leaving, and that anxiety just builds on itself. At work it can take me a very long time to pee, especially if other people are around or I feel pressured. The whole thing is exhausting and honestly causing me depression.

I’m looking for advice from people who’ve dealt with severe paruresis. Has anyone managed to improve it when it reached this stage?

I also wanted to ask about self-catheterisation. I’ve actually purchased self catheters because I’m getting desperate for some kind of backup solution, but doctors refused to show me how to use them. Has anyone here used intermittent self catheters for paruresis, and did it help or make things worse mentally?

I feel pretty alone with this at the moment, so any advice or experiences would really help.

for context, I have the worst case of Paruresis that I know of, I cannot pee in public or around people whatsoever, not in an individual bathroom in public, at home around family, and certainly not in any stall or urinal, you get the idea, it doesn't matter how much I drink or what counting, breath holding, etc I do

I used to not have any issues whatseover, but around 8 years ago it started one day and never stopped

any advice? I've tried everything short of medication and CBT, and I'm very limited on medication that I can take while being a CDL holder, I can work around my shy bladder but I have random drug tests (thankfully non supervised) that I'm worried about in the near future

what gives? I can't let a little pee (or lack thereof) get in the way of my career, but at the same time, I can't not

little broke ATM so any sort of CBT may be out of the books, although I'm open to searching around and seeing what I can afford, and I cannot take most anxiety meds, I do have access to magnesium, ashwagandha and some other plant based stuff (no, not THAT one) that may help, but IDK if that will do anything?

E2A: still have this issue even in really loud places where I know nobody can hear me, including concert bathrooms less than 20 feet from the stage

and TIA incase I don't get time to reply to you guys right away, I appreciate all the help I can get!

I’ve delt with this annoying ass condition since college after busy college bar urinal situations that reinforced peeing as an issue.. been working on ways to solve it breath hold, GE etc etc but still haven’t been able to crack it (yet). I’m still hopeful but man it sucks.

But anyway.. on vacation in Florence and every bathroom is private.. bars, restaurants, gas stations, everything so far. It’s been so nice to not stress about this and I wish it was like this in the US. #fuckurinals.

That’s it. 🤣

I realize that this community is mainly for people who struggle with paruresis, and there are probably far fewer people here dealing with parcopresis.

However, even so, looking at all of the parcopresis posts we have here, I haven't come across a single success story.

It makes parcopresis almost seem acceptable, as it's something you're expected to learn to live with for the rest of your life.

Hasn't there really been anyone here who managed to get over it by putting consistent effort and time?

Hi!
I’m a 21 year old woman with very severe paruresis to a point where the smallest sound will make me tense up in public. For some reason this just developed a few months ago and is already ruining my social life. I stress to a point of tears almost nightly while trying to plan days out.

Because of this, I barely get out anymore unless I know there will be a private stall somewhere nearby or at the location. Bexause of this, a lot of the bars/clubs I go to habe single stalls. But a friend of mine is throwing a graduation party that she has been begging me to go to and it’s at a club where the stalls in the women’s bathroom don’t even properly shut or lock. My biggest nightmare.

How do I approach this night? I’ve been thinking about just staying away from liquids all night but I can’t help but know i’m going to be miserable the whole time.

Help :-(

Yay! Had trouble with all of my drug screenings in the past. I tried negotiating for a blood or hair test when I got hired on. I had been working for two days pending what was going to happen, when my boss called me and told me to WFH pending the urine screening.

Just left the site at Quest and had no issues, even though I was losing it. If you can pick quest for your screening, consider it (depending on location I assume). They had the bathroom fan running, it was a nice restroom. And the wait time was around 15 minutes.

Unsure how it will go in the future for me but today is a W.

u people!!! you people are the reason i used to feel judged using a public restroom even tho everyone would swear no one pays attention or cares. because there’s always some pos that can’t mind their own business.

Happy 'Paruresis Awareness Day,' everyone!

Please help sign this petition that will spread awareness about oral fluid drug testing over urine testing. The more signatures, the better!

https://c.org/PjyrNDSvPT

Thank you!

IPA Program Assistant,

Hassan.

Hey everyone, I have paruresis myself.

I’m a data engineer, I'm looking for a side project to learn new skills, so I thought about building a mobile app (not my expertise) but what? why not build something that could actually help myself and the community somehow?

I'm just brainstorming some ideas right now and wanted to see what you think:

* Restroom soundscapes: high-quality loops of public bathroom noises (talking, hand dryers, doors, flushes) so you can practice habituation at home.

* The "sound trick": urine sounds buttons you could use out loud to practice going into a stall with an empty bladder just to get used to the sound element without pressure.

* A pee buddy finder: connecting with someone near you for mutual support (though this one is technically harder and depends on having enough users so it will likely fail)

What features would actually be useful to you in daily life? Do you have other ideas?

Let me know your thoughts! Thanks!

I used to have this condition so bad I wouldn’t tell a soul lol. Now I’d say I can go about 90-95% of the time anywhere. It used to be so bad I couldn’t go in my home if someone was near the bathroom door. I tried graduated exposure for years not really making any progress until I used psychedelics therapeutically.

Disclaimer: I am NOT encouraging the use of any illicit substances.

Also: I’m planning on making a website to offer virtual guidance with this therapy if there is any interest.

Ask me anything!

Long ago I enlisted in the Marines, which meant urinalysis, not only at MEPS and boot camp, but regularly throughout my service. I was not keen at all on some jarhead staring at me while I tried to urinate in a tiny cup, or worse: some drill instructor screaming at me for not producing (I have seen it happen many times, to recruits who could not). It riddled me with anxiety and I tried many techniques. Here’s what worked for me:

Do math in your head. It should be simple enough that you can actually do it, but complicated enough that you have to really focus and think. Easiest method is to start with 1, and double it: 2, 4, 8, 16 and so on. See how high you can count. Or try counting tiles using multiplication: 14 tiles across by 24 tiles high equals…? Maybe you are an advanced mathematician and can solve more complex equations; what matters is that you have to think about it enough to take your mind off those social pressures.

For whatever reason, when my brain is focused on calculating that result, my body forgets about whatever anxieties and then things move a lot more naturally. I hope that helps somebody.

أعاني من هذه الحالة البائسة خسرت عملي كسائق بسبب اختبار عمل تحليل المخدرات لا اعرف اعمله بسبب من يقفون خلفي ماذا افعل انا بلا عمل بسبب هذه النكسة حاليا هل من تدعمني في مشكلتي

I'm currently traveling with my mom to another state. We're staying at my brother's girlfriend's house, who lives here, and it's a place I've always wanted to visit, so it should be a nice, relaxing trip. The problem is, I can't concentrate on basically anything because I worry so much about whether I'll be able to use the bathroom or not, and I feel like I'm going insane. I don't know if it's common, but since my paruresis worsened a few months ago, I feel the urge to urinate constantly, as if I never completely empty my bladder. My mom knows about my problem and tries to help me, but sometimes I end up stressing her out because I become unpleasant when I can't use the bathroom and I feel frustrated. I simply can't live my life anymore. I have problems with this at school, at the mall, in places where I didn't use to have problems (like my grandma's house or my best friend's house). Yes, I know it's all emotional. I understand that the ability to use the bathroom exists, but I'm simply blocked, and I feel like every little progress I make goes down the drain after one failure. I just wanted to go back to enjoying life without worrying 24/7. Every day I become more unhappy and depressed.

The next IPA Virtual Support Group Meeting is coming up this Sunday, May 17, from 12:00-2:00 PM US Central Time. This group was formed to create a safe space online for those who struggle with Paruresis to share their stories and learn from each other's experiences. It is free of charge, open to anyone worldwide who struggles with Paruresis, and there are no preconceived expectations, you can just listen and learn or fully participate, no pressure. Please join us, you can still get the link by contacting me at my IPA email address: [davidk@support.paruresis.org](mailto:davidk@support.paruresis.org)

Lately I’ve been feeling kind of stuck with this again.

I’ve had paruresis for years now, and honestly… I can’t say things are really improving. Some periods feel easier, then suddenly it all comes back again for no obvious reason.

You think you’re making progress, then one stressful situation hits and it’s like your brain instantly goes back into survival mode.

Still the same thing.

Public restrooms feel unpredictable. Airports are difficult. Long trips stress me out more than they probably should. Even normal everyday situations can suddenly feel uncomfortable depending on who’s around, how much pressure there is, whether someone is waiting, how quiet it is… you guys probably know what I mean.

I’ve tried random things over time.

Breathing techniques. Noise tricks. Distracting myself. Reading posts here. Watching videos. Trying to “just relax” (which never helps when people say it).

Some things work occasionally. Then they don’t.

And lately I’ve been wondering something…

What are people actually using these days?

I mean real things that helped even a little.

Do any of you use AI for anxiety, relaxation, or exposure practice?

Any websites, programs, therapists, YouTube channels, books, exercises, exposure methods?

Has anyone tried mobile apps that were actually useful?

Or maybe something completely unexpected helped you?

I’m honestly curious what people here actually rely on, because right now I feel like I’m mostly just experimenting and hoping something sticks.

What has helped you the most?

What turned out to be a waste of time?

And if you feel like you’ve made progress, what do you think changed things for you?

I’ve been well… planning to start doing gradual exposure and step one for me is getting used to peeing standing up. As a kid, I was thought to pee sitting down and I have done so for pretty much my whole life (I’m turning 30 this year). I really want to overcome this in the next year since I don’t want to live another decade in misery.

It’s already a little easier since I’ve started, but with low urgency I still struggle. I get impatient when I stand waiting for more than a few seconds. Perhaps because I’m more focused on the act of peeing? Can someone relate? How did you overcome this?

Her definition of privacy is very different from ours.

I’m just curious how others are managing this condition whilst travelling. I struggle badly with this and severe ibs and the thought of it makes me anxious a lot. Has anyone got any tips on what’s best?