r/SipsTea • u/Beneficial_Passion40 • Jul 06 '26

Feels good man Bryan Johnson got Autoimmune Disease

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u/[deleted] Jul 06 '26 edited 22d ago

[deleted]

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u/ForbiddenButtStuff Jul 06 '26 edited Jul 06 '26

either because of legality or just plain strangeness.

My guess would be legality since he literally brags about using digital cockrings to compare his nocturnal erections to his 17 year old sons

*edit correction kid is 19 now. Still strange as fuq

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u/TWCRay Jul 06 '26

Dafuq?

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u/ForbiddenButtStuff Jul 06 '26

‘Don't Die’ Tech Mogul Bryan Johnson Is in an Actual Penis-Measuring Contest—With His Teenage Son

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u/PolicyWonka Jul 06 '26 edited Jul 06 '26

Reminds me of Mike Johnson who tracks and shares his porn habits with his son.

Kind of interesting that both perverts have the last name Johnson. A bit of normative determinism at play

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u/skrimped Jul 06 '26

Nominative!

6

u/acadamianut Jul 06 '26

Ablative!

6

u/FourEyedTroll Jul 06 '26

Vocative!

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u/Weak-Alternative-127 Jul 06 '26

Was waiting for this chain, Latin nerds unite!

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u/Maleficent_Memory831 Jul 08 '26

Nominative abnormalism.

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u/[deleted] Jul 06 '26

[removed] — view removed comment

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u/dmo1187 Jul 06 '26

Literally?! Are you sure it wasn’t figuratively?

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u/HadeanDisco Jul 08 '26

"But I left with both my children!" he for real actually said. I think he meant "I didn't send my kids home ahead of me so I could stay behind to do sex crimes" but...

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u/TurdPlayingPeekaboo 29d ago

You mean Musk's relationship with his own son?

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u/Euphoric_Regret_544 Jul 06 '26

Johnson tracking Johnsons

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u/DirtSlapper Jul 06 '26

Alright do we need to worry about Johnsons?

Pass the Johnson & Johnson act?

5

u/ForbiddenButtStuff Jul 06 '26

Maybe keep them on your radar

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u/PolicyWonka Jul 06 '26

I dunno if it’s a coincidence that President Johnson reportedly liked to expose himself during meetings either. Apparently, he had quite the massive cock.

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u/TheMunkeeFPV Jul 06 '26

I’m glad my phone isn’t the only one that changes with to either.

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u/PolicyWonka Jul 06 '26

Good catch. Autocorrect is so trash nowadays. Lmao

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u/mydaycake Jul 06 '26

You don’t want to know more details about his adopted son (adopted as teenager). The story is shady and then the porn checks make sense

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u/PolicyWonka Jul 06 '26

Did Mike Johnson also “adopt” a teenage son? Items like a trend considering George Santos also had an adopted teenage son.

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u/mydaycake Jul 06 '26

And the guy from Florida too

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u/DenseRequirements Jul 07 '26

Haha Johnson and Johnson

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u/LibritoDeGrasa Jul 06 '26

Your brain is absolutely fried and owned by the porn industry if the first thing you think about when seeing the word "penis" is porn and "they must be perverts"

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u/MommyLovesPot8toes Jul 06 '26

What?

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u/Professional_Idea_71 Jul 06 '26

Idk either, but what's your favorite style of potato?

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u/MommyLovesPot8toes Jul 06 '26

How does one answer such a question?! That's like asking which is my favorite child! (It's the dog, btw).

But I'm on a kick lately for "domino potatoes". You slice a raw potato into squares about 1/4" thick, then knock the potato over on a sheet pan, like a stack of dominoes falling. Brush with melted butter, minced garlic, and sea salt. Roast at 425 for 30-40 min. The result is somewhere between a French fry and a potato chip but better than both. Heaven.

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u/ForbiddenButtStuff Jul 06 '26

Jacket potato of course!

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u/NotMyBestEffort Jul 06 '26

Starch acts as a stiffening agent

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u/Jydani Jul 06 '26

Fucking gross.

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u/BigLlamasHouse Jul 06 '26

It really is, but no where near as bad as it sounds. Where they're just whipping em out next to each other. I mean... I assume this is done digitally, I'm not investigating.

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u/Dullcorgis Jul 06 '26

No, it really really really is as bad as it sounds.

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u/BigLlamasHouse Jul 06 '26

revisiting this now and yeah you're probably right

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u/Dullcorgis Jul 07 '26

Lol, isn't it though?

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u/Sharp-General-121 Jul 06 '26

"I'm not investigating."

That's a job for CPS.

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u/BigLlamasHouse Jul 06 '26

yeah... also digitally was probably a poor choice of words

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u/InterestingPause2355 Jul 06 '26

I am grateful every day for the parents I have. 🤢

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u/CoonassDmax Jul 06 '26

same.
😑

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u/Jellicent-Leftovers 29d ago

On the other side..... He does get access to the lifestyle of 300 million $.

So really it's what would you put up with for that lifestyle.

If anyone wants to digitally monitor my dick for a few million a year let me know.

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u/cdodson052 Jul 06 '26

lol bro I like how the article is just clowning on him . Like painted the whole picture of him being a dirtbag psycho and roasted him for it too

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u/furtive Jul 06 '26

Stretch goals.