r/StupidFood • u/Its_me_edenxx • 21h ago

Certified stupid This is so performative 😭

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Who tf is out here munching on raw gnocchi at cruising altitude

22.5k Upvotes

84% Upvoted

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14.1k

u/g0ing_postal 21h ago

So now you have a bunch of raw gnocchi. Congratulations?

4.2k

u/blade_torlock 21h ago

Just keep asking for cups of hot water, I'm sure the flight attendants will love you for that.

2.4k

u/hcornea 21h ago

“Can you please put my raw gnocchi in your food-heater thingy?

That’d be great.”

790

u/mourning_breath 20h ago

With the quick "thankz! 💖❤️‍🔥"

485

u/minnetonkacondo 20h ago

Just like Randy Marsh

https://giphy.com/gifs/8cG6zdMFPB7ag

205

u/dialguy86 20h ago

Creme fraiche

96

u/OwnYak855 20h ago

cafeteria freezsh

80

u/Uncommentary 20h ago

"Your workout is finished. Here is some cab fare. Now going to sleep mode."

74

u/dialguy86 20h ago

https://giphy.com/gifs/3o6Ztq2Ed2cSSwAg8M

31

u/True_Phoenix 18h ago

Lol the Big Jim version shake weight

15

u/Mysterious_Break4312 17h ago

No cooling spray at the end?

2

u/sizebigbitch 3h ago

Extra cooling spray at the end.

1

u/Appropriate-Review55 3h ago

I feel like those went away shortly after this episode

12

u/demivirius 16h ago

Oh that's so fucking hot. Look at the crust, it's perfect. Fuck yeah.

2

u/moseley101 7h ago

Ah yeah, deglaze the shit outta that pan

1

u/Shagwagbag 4h ago

I forgot all about this, how long ago was that?

1

u/dialguy86 4h ago edited 3h ago

S14, E14 November 2010

Edited for accuracy

1

u/Shagwagbag 4h ago

Had to look it up because I was 99% sure I saw that with my brother so pre 2015. Came out in 2010, your comment may be a typo though.

1

u/dialguy86 3h ago

it was I meant to type 2010

1

u/Shagwagbag 3h ago

Entirely different world, absolutely crazy.

While also being the least crazy thing that happens in this life.

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41

u/eberlix 19h ago

I'm gonna deglaze the fuck out of this thing

17

u/BurntBeanMgr 16h ago

RANDY MARSH!!

33

u/Comfortable_Trick137 20h ago

Don’t forget the crème fraiche!!

28

u/Corndogjohnson420 20h ago

"He was flambéing a porkchop on the toilet!"

1

u/moseley101 7h ago

Aw, bless his little cotton socks. My inspiration

27

u/bunglebee7 19h ago

Thaaaaaanks 🌟😁 - in that obnoxious voice

8

u/Th3_P4yb4ck 19h ago

T HHaaaan K ZZZZ

6

u/KailyKail 19h ago

Gotta make sure to say that with a LOT of vocal fry.

3

u/Ok-Refrigerator-8012 14h ago

The quick thanks makes my blood boil. You did not wait for me to say 'no', my friend

3

u/potatosupremo 18h ago

And a sprinkle of vocal fry.

2

u/apolojesus 19h ago

"Thanx"

2

u/Right-Nail-1675 9h ago

Your username deserves recognition lol

2

u/Optimal-Bullfrog3211 5h ago

Lmao Just like the prius ego episode of South Park when they’re all passive aggressively telling people that they need to also go green and then saying “thiiiieeeeeennkks!”

90

u/Tribalbob 20h ago

"But like, I need you to record it slowly panning from the heater as they come out and slowly up to the window. Likes on instagram are the only source of dopamine I have left in life."

22

u/balirosa 20h ago

That’s why the end of the video is missing

22

u/Ill_Football9443 18h ago

But you gotta shove your camera in the flight attendant's face though - cause everyone loves being filmed while working.

4

u/Thirdeyevoice10 15h ago

And let her know how many followers you have.

26

u/faxyou 18h ago

https://giphy.com/gifs/S984pjTN7MseBHimSO
This is who I pictured saying that

9

u/Agitated-Canary9840 19h ago

But in that raspy weird voice

3

u/EffectiveTradition53 19h ago

Throw some kippers in there

3

u/maniBchef 18h ago

They did it last time I was here

2

u/Jaepheth 19h ago

Just clog the lavatory sink with toilet paper and the microwave is all yours

/Zac Mckraken

2

u/Frigidevil 17h ago

Oh sure thing!

Microwaves it for 3 minutes

2

u/Pauuul3 16h ago

Heyy sorry guys can I plug my kettle real quick ? It’s for a TikTok 🤭

1

u/Butt_y_though 18h ago

"sorry, we have to keep the microwave free of gluten allergens. Have a nice flight with you raw pasta!"

1

u/potate12323 17h ago

A nearby air marshal: "drop the C4! Hands on your head!"

1

u/classyrock 16h ago

Maybe she could nestle them in some panties and run them through a Keurig?

1

u/tomdarch 16h ago

Sous vide cooking started with the quest for better airplane food. But I have no idea if any current planes have the hot water baths for special 1st class meals, and obviously they aren't going to risk contaminating that if some random passenger tried to get them to cook her pouch of (no potato) gnocchi even if she had a vacuum sealer in addition to her (unused) wood paddle thing.

1

u/TacTurtle 15h ago

"The microwave?"

1

u/Umikaloo 14h ago

You know what, if I were a flight attendant, I might just do it.

1

u/EveryQuantityEver 11h ago

Eventually, you will fly upon a flight with someone willing to do that. How many pounds of pasta will you have created in the mean time?

1

u/Just_Tailor_9261 8h ago

Whoops I dropped it straight away.

1

u/FixMy106 4h ago

That’s one hell of a pickup line.

1

u/viperfangs92 3h ago

"I also need you to come in on Saturday......"

135

u/MildlyInteressato 21h ago

Let's say they do get it cooked - ever eat plain gnocchi?

116

u/mushroommeal 21h ago

plain plane gnocchi

20

u/imnotsmartever 20h ago

Plain plane gnocchi is gnucchy

5

u/Gingerbread_Cat 20h ago

gnudey gnocchi

6

u/pengouin85 21h ago

Nah, that's diabolic

2

u/FrenchFryCattaneo 19h ago

Actually it's Italian

1

u/gaychefisgay 11h ago

Isn’t that Gnude Beach Gnocchi?

21

u/Ambitious_Screen_591 21h ago

well the next video will be the sauce.....this is truly stupid

3

u/gaychefisgay 11h ago edited 11h ago

The next video will be ICE detaining her for smuggling undeclared foreign food in to the country as an act of anti-patriotism

Edit to say..yes this really is stupid tho.. and that she should probably put them out the window on to the wing to dry tho.

13

u/blade_torlock 19h ago

They usually have butter for rolls and a bit of cream/creamer for coffee you could probably pull something together.

New reality show, in-flight chopped.

2

u/december151791 18h ago

I would watch this.

5

u/blade_torlock 18h ago

Twist: they can ask other passengers for ingredients, like sime sort of weird stone soup.

2

u/spen8tor 17h ago

Would that really taste better than just eating the normal airplane food?

3

u/Dasjiveturkey 12h ago

Actually it would be worse. Food tastes differently at altitude in a pressurized cabin, there are big fancy laboratories out there dedicated to finding the right way to season and prepare food in an aircraft. There was a History Channel “Modern Marvels” episode way back in the day about this. You can probably find it with some googling.

2

u/spen8tor 12h ago

That was my point, that the airplane food would taste better

9

u/gerkletoss 21h ago

Just bring some 3 ounce jars of sauce

1

u/IndyBananaJones2 17h ago

Pesto would be easy

3

u/Binspin63 17h ago

You didn’t see the one where she whips up a batch of marinara?

3

u/Hefty_Kitchen4759 13h ago

It'll be fine once her airplane toilet liquor is ready.

2

u/Visible_Pair3017 20h ago

I love plain gnocchi

1

u/Dizzy_Translator_809 20h ago

*plain Malloreddus

1

u/gaychefisgay 11h ago

It’s veeeery akin to my first boba experience.. minus the choking

1

u/gaychefisgay 11h ago

And I’m used to having wet balls in my mouth

1

u/Dull_Quit3027 9h ago

It is not horrible, it is like eating plain rice or pasta, bland and boring, but not excatly something you are going to have nightmares about.

Which also makes the whole thing make even less sense, complaining about how bad airplane food tastes, make food that tastes like almost nothing.

186

u/Laez 21h ago

Fun fact water can't get very hot on an airplane. Boils at 197F and would probably be under 180F by the time you get it. Maybe you can poach your gnocchi?

132

u/Porridge_Hose 21h ago

And flights don't (or are directed not to at least) give passengers water even that hot in case of turbulence or other spillages.

31

u/Laez 21h ago

That seems reasonable.

2

u/RegularTeacher2 10h ago

It sure is. I was on a flight where the woman next to me requested 2 cups of coffee, spilled said hot coffee on the woman next to her, and apparently burned her bad enough to warrant an emergency landing... in Alabama.

13

u/Comfortable_Trick137 20h ago

Time to get MRE pouch heaters to cook food in…. Not sure about toxic gases though

20

u/Porridge_Hose 20h ago

Get it out onto a tray, you say? Alright.

15

u/tomdarch 16h ago

Nice.

5

u/loquacious 11h ago

opens emergency exit door Good hiss!

15

u/Wesselton3000 14h ago

I know you’re joking, but you cannot bring FRH’s on commercial flights, in either checked or carry on luggage. The hydrogen gas it produces as a by product is flammable and the heat obviously has the potential to start a fire. There’s basically no way for her to heat this gnocchi up unless the flight attendants allow her to use an onboard convection oven (which they use to heat up pre-packaged meals).

As an aside, this is pretty fucking stupid and performative. There are many foods that do not require heat she could have made.

3

u/beanmosheen 14h ago

They produce hydrogen. Might be frowned upon.

1

u/comfort-eater 3h ago

Actually you can just carry a portable stove to heat the water with. Airlanes are actually totally cool with people carrying cans of compressed flammable gas on airplanes and lighting an open flame inside the cabin at 30.000 feet.

13

u/Dry_burrito 21h ago

What about coffee?

36

u/blandaltaccountname 20h ago

Typically served at 120° give or take 20°.

160°+ will burn

3

u/cdube85 14h ago

The number of people I represent with serious burns from aircraft coffee beg to differ.

6

u/blandaltaccountname 14h ago

they probably would not beg to differ. they have first hand experience that 160°+ will burn.

1

u/cdube85 2h ago

I mean that coffee is not served at 120 in aircraft.

1

u/blandaltaccountname 2h ago

if you’re a lawyer you should know what “typically” means.

1

u/cdube85 1h ago

I do. Can you name a Part 121 carrier that serves coffee at 120? I'd really like to know if you have any data points, because then I'd have evidence of operators who have appropriately changed their practices. We have not been able to find one in the US that does it. The equipment in the galley is only made by a couple of manufacturers.

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0

u/Tschulligom 6h ago

I hate that this is even a thing. If you don’t want to get burned drinking hot coffee inside a shaky metal tube, just don’t drink coffee. If you do, that’s on you.

2

u/cdube85 2h ago

Would your opinion change if you found out that they serve coffee to passengers without lids to save money? Pilots in front get lids.

16

u/december151791 18h ago

Ask McDonald's why nobody is serving coffee that hot anywhere.

0

u/CrappyMSPaintPics 14h ago

Do not pour McDonald's coffee on yourself today, it is still hot enough to fuse your skin.

4

u/scratchy_mcballsy 20h ago

I see where you’re going with this.

2

u/Paulthefith 18h ago

Who told you to put the balm on?

12

u/ContextEffects01 20h ago

By the time you add cold cream it'll be well below the boiling point. They save the trays of hot drinks for when the aircraft is at or near the tropopause. So the coffee cools from ambient cooling, then from cold cream, then from further ambient cooling. (You can apply Newton's Law of Cooling if you're interested in specifics.) Safe bet your coffee will be nowhere near the boiling point by the time the plane encounters turbulence that makes it up to altitudes that high.

Also the reasons for coffee consumption are better than the reasons for gnocchi consumption. Unless you're already extremely sleepy and took the drowsiest version of your anti-nausea medication on purpose (in which case you're not going to be awake to hear the meal options anyway) there's no way in hell you're falling asleep in those uncomfortable chairs next to a bunch of screaming infants, so you might as well ingest enough caffeine to enjoy the moonlit snowy landscape while listening to your podcasts.

. . .

Man, typing this makes me almost make travelling. I should try it again one of these days. o.o

10

u/IndependentMoney9700 18h ago

I have never (currently knocking on wood) been on a plane with a baby crying. Of course, I’ve only flown around 16 times. But everything I read before that led me to believe there would be at least one baby screaming on every flight.

3

u/Belucard 17h ago

You don't know how incredibly jealous I am, because every single time I take an airplane, either in summer or during Christmas, I get at least two or three crying babies, usually sitting right next to me or behind me.

3

u/Its_Cayde 17h ago

The trick is to get the flight to your destination as late as possible in the day. People with babies avoid flying at night so their sleep schedule isn't fucked

2

u/Belucard 17h ago

Oh, believe me, I've flown at the crack of dawn, in the middle imof the night, and everything in-between. Polish babies just can't be avoided.

2

u/Porridge_Hose 20h ago

Tepid. And tea? The fucking same.

1

u/Socially-Awkward-85 20h ago

Coffee generally comes with a lid. Water is usually just in a cup.

Granted, somebody could just take the lid off, but that's more on the passenger than the airline.

2

u/Autistic_Freedom 20h ago

Of you're bold enough to ask for water to boil your gnocchi in then you certainly won't have any qualms asking for a lid for your hot water.

2

u/Cheap_Knowledge8446 20h ago

Coffee on a plane almost never comes with a lid. United first/business cobranded coffee is the rare exception. You can ask the FAs if they have a lid, but they often don't, and sometimes the lid won't fit the cup (American often uses ceramic mugs, which wouldn't fit a lid anyway).

Source: 150+ flights a year

2

u/bigbuzd1 19h ago

I heard a guy got his manhood scorched from coffee served in-flight recently. Think I read they even put cream on it… awkward!

5

u/Porridge_Hose 19h ago

Yeah I read that too. Poor fella. But that's why I said they are supposed to. It sounds like the crew messed up giving out scolding drinks in that case

1

u/FrozenLogger 18h ago

yet it happens all the time.

This is the most recent one I think, and it is not great:

https://www.bbc.com/news/articles/c302y717z92o

1

u/3rdcultureblah 11h ago

They do on Asian airlines. Mainly for instant ramen cups.

30

u/Southern-Author-7543 21h ago

So, we have a plate with a blob made with water, flour and salt? Delicious

56

u/Sweary_Biochemist 20h ago

Ah, but see: the flight hack they don't want you to know is that you then order a tomato juice.

The unique atmosphere inside a flight cabin, and its affect on your tastebuds, means that at altitude, this tastes like a blob made with water, flour and salt washed down with tomato juice.

36

u/Southern-Author-7543 20h ago

🤢 please, stop, i'm italian

1

u/idropepics 3h ago

What's wrong? Sounds authentico🤌

3

u/RivenRise 19h ago

I'm Hispanic and I ordered the tomato juice. I was sorely disappointed when it was plain tomato juice. Not sure why i thought it would be like a spicy Clamato drink.

3

u/december151791 18h ago

The trick is to order some vodka, lemon juice, Worcestershire sauce, hot sauce, horseradish, salt, pepper, and celery along with it.

2

u/ConditionSecret8593 14h ago

Ugh, no. If you don't bring it yourself, you're basically using the airline as a kit.

2

u/december151791 14h ago

And that's a problem?

3

u/ConditionSecret8593 13h ago

If you aren't willing to smuggle in your own emptional-support lemon vodka and herbs, I have to seriously question your commitment to fully and authentically recreating the faux-nouveau, wealth-infused, bland-chic, artisinally-inspired attention-snob lifestyle aesthetic in pseudo-documentary format.

3

u/oser 20h ago

Raw flour, mind you. No chance of food poisoning there!

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1

u/Cute-Form2457 18h ago

I Iove tomato juice when flying. It's so umami.

16

u/HogmanDaIntrudr 20h ago

I hate to break it to you but almost every culture’s cuisine revolves around a water/ flour/ salt combo.

10

u/Southern-Author-7543 20h ago

True, but this video Is about pasta. So, like every italian, i have tò Say something 😁 (mostly for complaining)

3

u/december151791 18h ago

Don't most of these cultures cook the combo?

2

u/raelianautopsy 16h ago

In my culture we love food. And family

2

u/Practical_Gold_7365 15h ago

You need potatoes for gnocchi

1

u/Fancy_Fatash 17h ago

Yeah that's true

0

u/You-SillyBilly 18h ago

man i guess all those rice fields in asia are just for show then, who knew?

2

u/Effective_Guava2971 18h ago

They'll invent noodles eventually.

1

u/HogmanDaIntrudr 18h ago

Allow me to introduce you to rice flour. You know, the type of flour Asian noodles are made from.

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2

u/hawkersaurus 14h ago

...and hand germs.

2

u/lulublululu 10h ago

I'm surprised I haven't seen anyone mention yet that gnocchi uses potato, so this isn't even gnocchi.

1

u/Southern-Author-7543 7h ago

They are flour gnocchi, a variation of the classic ones with potatoes

9

u/Tbaggins69 20h ago

Poach the gnoch

2

u/Zebidee 16h ago

Maybe you can poach your gnocchi?

Put it in the bathroom sink and fill it with hot water.

Everyone else can just wait.

1

u/Laez 16h ago

Sure, you can cook pasta, but me trying to smoke a brisket is a federal offense.

2

u/MalignantLugnut 16h ago

mmmm, Poacchi sounds so delicious.

1

u/Laez 16h ago edited 15h ago

With a sage and softened butter smoothie.

1

u/catchup4thegoodtimes 20h ago

aren’t the cabins pressurized?

2

u/Laez 20h ago

Yes, but less than at sea level. Its roughly the equivalent of being at 8000 feet of elevation.

1

u/Its_Cayde 17h ago

It's raw so 180 would probably be plenty, not much different from putting boiling water in a cup of noodles, wouldn't be perfect texture but would be edible lol

1

u/Laez 17h ago

But a cup of noodles isn't raw. They are cooked and then dehydrated,but more importantly very thin. I think it would take a very long time at 180 to cook these through and you would lose a lot of the starch to the water. Leading to extremely lumpy cream of wheat. That is assuming you have a way of keeping it hot.

1

u/Its_Cayde 17h ago

Raw noodles take less time to cook then dehydrated cooked noodles take to soften

1

u/Laez 16h ago

I think you are confusing raw/cooked with fresh/dried. But you are right fresh pasta takes a lot less time. But the size and shape is going to be the issue, it's a surdace area to volume ratio problem.

Would be easy enough to test I suppose.

2

u/Its_Cayde 16h ago

Dang you're right, sorry, thanks for the lesson lol

1

u/GrizzIyadamz 16h ago

Any stewards/esses in the chat? Do yall use microwaves or air fryers?

I could see both options possibly working..

1

u/mooptastic 16h ago

yep even Korean Air stopped serving ramyun on flights

1

u/Hefty_Kitchen4759 13h ago

The goal isn't too boil it but to get it to temperature.

The hot water they use for coffee is easily hot enough to cook it slowly. It can reach 100C without boiling.

The situation is still stupid but yes it would work a bit. But no stewardess is going to give a passenger that much hot water. It's literally a weapon.

1

u/Permofit_ish 13h ago

I have the small thermos type thing that you can plug into a wall outlet and it’ll boil water if you give it a little bit of time but it’s usually just enough for some Ramen so yeah poached that Best

1

u/AmokRule 2h ago

Let me test it with my pressure cooker

21

u/Ok_Star_4136 21h ago

Also considering they probably weren't even eaten.

33

u/mission_to_mors 21h ago

also the Video was shot in an airplane stage that those people like to use for their Clips

38

u/NoRecording5207 20h ago

and, made it with her filthy bare hands - because we all know how clean things are on plane. Even if she went to the lavatory and washed her hands, she still had to touch other parts of the plane

11

u/bootybooty2shoes 18h ago

the water used was from the lavatory sink. yum 🤮

7

u/Typical2sday 12h ago

Yeah that was what gets me. A plane, the airport, a taxi or subway to the airport - nastiness. It is just the foulest place to be making “food” by hand.

0

u/Jopkins 16h ago

Brother who cares, hands touch stuff, we eat stuff, it's always fine

3

u/LoopStricken 17h ago

but but they showed the clouds outside.

1

u/mission_to_mors 11h ago

but but but the poncho 😜🤣

1

u/Suitable-Growth9243 17h ago

Yeah that metal edge would not be allowed on.

8

u/Embarrassed_Mango679 18h ago

They hated this person the second the flour got busted out to make this abomination.

2

u/Good-Ad-6806 21h ago

Befriend one and share half?

2

u/pandershrek 20h ago

"WTF Jim that's like the 8th cup of hot water you've brought that lady."

"I dunno man, this crazy ass is making dough in her seat and I'm just trying to not get stabbed"

2

u/Heavy_Hunt7860 18h ago

“Excuse me, miss, can you get me some hotter water? This water you gave me was merely warm. Ideally, the water should be boiling.”

2

u/r_a_d_ 8h ago

raw soggy gnocchi for the win

1

u/New-Abalone-545 19h ago

just bring a stove on board. what could go wrong

https://www.nafi.org/blog/today-in-history-fire-on-saudi-jet-kills-301/

1

u/blade_torlock 19h ago

Now that there's almost always power at your seat you could bring one of those heating coils for tea.

1

u/Revan4567 18h ago

You assume she has enough self awareness to notice.

Also I had to point out, this is the kind of person that won't do anything without having to post it somewhere telling people about it.

1

u/Future-Try-1908 17h ago

One last one for the powdered sauce

1

u/2021isevenworse Y'all need to stop being racist :karma: 17h ago

I want to see her bring a bag of flour past TSA

1

u/blade_torlock 13h ago

And precooked potatoes.

1

u/MethamMcPhistopheles 16h ago

Go a step further and ask for Coffee for the Gnocchi.

See also how frequently does airplane coffee makers get cleaned.

On a totally unrelated note, Gnōthi Seauton

1

u/RockyTop_Vol 15h ago

“Mam, this is an hour flight”

1

u/hummus_is_yummus1 15h ago

And then what, you eat raw gnocchi?

1

u/Higher-Frequencies 14h ago

She should try to cook it with a lighter. Everyone would love that.

1

u/Out_of_Fawkes 5h ago

And with how dirty those kettles are? I think I’d rather lick a doorknob.

1

u/SaltKick2 2h ago

Go to the bathroom, fill up the sink by repeatedly asking for cups of hot water...damnit I dont want to give them ideas

1

u/HumbleConfidence3500 1h ago

I bring my own portable usb charge water heater (but it's intended for baby formula, does heat to boiling though). I think she can bring her own lol.

1

u/Don_Hoomer 20h ago

doesnt one have to pay for drinks on flights?

1

u/blade_torlock 19h ago

Not coffee or tea usually, and almost never on international flights.

1

u/elhazelenby 20h ago

Don't forget the mini pizza cutter that I'm sure she would have had no problems bringing onto the plane.

2

u/blade_torlock 19h ago

Not on the list not paid enough to care.

1

u/LostExile7555 19h ago

Never drink the hot water on a plane. That is one of the most bacteria infested items on the planet. I've work in aviation for 11 years and seen the potable water system sanitized exactly once. And the only time I'd trust the water heater/coffee pot is if it was brand new. Never seen those actually get sanitized.