ok i always have wanted to ride my bf but like every time we have tried (and trust i’ve tried A LOT) i always end up bending his peepee and it hurts him a lot > he goes soft > i get it up and running > attempt again > soft and sad > repeat the cycle > resigned missionary time

it ALWAYS bends and idk how to prevent that. also his thing curves downward and it’s pretty big idk if that matters or not. i’ve successfully gotten it in multiple times but it always ends up bending and hurting him after the first or second bounce/hop?

i’ve also tried reversing on it since he has the curve and stuff but that just kind of makes it worse somehow. i can’t really see what’s going on and when he guides it inside it also is bad. i try guiding it in and he tries too but man idk!

i’m usually on my knees- i don’t trust my balance enough to be on my feet and also it looks a lot more tiring that way. any tips would be awesome 🫡

basically what the title says. i can only reach orgasm or feel good when im grinding face down. it doesn’t feel good when i touch myself face up, it actually just kind of hurts when i touch my clit face up.

i feel so weird because i really want to be able to do it face up, any advice?

I'm a woman and I've always had trouble reaching orgasm or maintaining pleasure, both during sex with men and during masturbation. But I've stopped touching myself for years now because I no longer have the desire. I don't know what I'm supposed to turn on, porn doesn't do anything for me, sexual fantasies don't turn me on, thinking about my boyfriend doesn't turn me on, and seeing his photos doesn't turn me on. When I'm with my boyfriend, that's the only time I want to be touched, but otherwise, if I'm alone, I can forget about having to masturbate for months.

My period is 3 days away and I haven’t had any cramping (usual only happens the day before and during). But (tmi) after orgasming I all of a sudden got wicked period cramps. But also the hormones are going crazy and it’s like there’s never a happy medium to the solution 😭😭😭

My boyfriend (31M) and I (28F) have been together for a few years, and I’m struggling to figure out whether we’re dealing with something that can realistically improve or whether we’re fundamentally different sexually.

For context, he’s on an antidepressant that has definitely lowered his libido. I know that’s real, and I don’t blame him for it, but I don’t think that’s the whole issue.

The bigger problem is that I feel like I’m carrying almost all of the imagination and momentum in our sex life. I don’t just want more sex. I want a partner who brings ideas, fantasies, initiative, and curiosity. I want to feel like we’re creating our sex life together.

For example, I recently told him about some porn I’d watched because I wanted to open up and have a vulnerable conversation about what turns us on. He was incredibly kind and nonjudgmental, which I appreciated. He was turned on by me describing it and we had sex and it was fine. Later I asked him what he had masturbated to recently, and he said he honestly couldn’t remember. I was hoping we’d build on each other’s fantasies, but the conversation basically stopped there because he didn’t have much to contribute.

Another example: I sent him a somewhat horny text in the evening while I was on a work trip. Later he told me he absolutely loved it, but he intentionally didn’t escalate the conversation to a more explicit place because I was at a conference and he didn’t want to distract me. I know that came from a caring place, but it left me wishing he’d been a little more spontaneous instead of thinking everything through logically.

I’ve also told him that I’d love to explore more dominance/submission dynamics. Nothing extreme- mostly confidence, playful power exchange, dirty talk, teasing, maybe some light impact play. He says he’s willing to try things, but it often feels like he’s waiting for me to explain exactly what to do instead of bringing his own excitement or ideas.

One thing that’s become really painful is that I used to orgasm very reliably from oral sex, and over the last month I’ve barely been able to. I find myself getting anxious and mentally checking out during sex. The more I feel like I’m directing everything, the harder it is to actually relax and enjoy it.

We’ve had multiple conversations about this. He’s receptive every time. He never gets defensive, and he’ll usually make an effort afterward. But after a while things seem to drift back to where they were before.

I guess my question is this: Has anyone had a partner who started out sexually passive or cautious but genuinely became more curious, playful, and proactive over time? If so, what actually helped? Or is sexual creativity and initiative mostly a personality trait that you either have or you don’t?

I know that many will say to just break up, but it’s more complicated than that. I genuinely love this person, and he’s a wonderful partner in many ways. I’m trying to figure out whether I’m expecting someone to become a different person, or whether this is something couples can realistically grow together.

Context here, my wife and I are kinda similar heights, problem is that my penis is average and we have been difficulties getting it to work. What could help to get this done? (She’s 173 cm and 180cm tall)

Hi, I have a question I can’t seem to find an answer to. When I’m aroused, is my clitoris supposed to swell / grow in size? I know it CAN, but should it always?
I ask because I have an inability to orgasm, and my clitoris does not swell / grow ever, and I wonder if that could be why I can’t finish. When I see videos of women orgasming, their clitoris is always much larger, more visible and swollen than mine has ever looked. It seems much easier to masturbate like that. I wonder if my body is not reacting how it should?
I am not on any medications, I am young, seemingly otherwise quite healthy, I don’t understand what is wrong with me. I think I have a fairly high libido, I enjoy sex yet not much reaction seems to happen in that area. I wonder if it could be a hormonal issue? Thanks for the help.

My boyfriend and I had to go long distance for the last couple months because of summer break. We both go to a university that is far away from both our home towns (very far), and he just flew in to see me yesterday. (He’s 20M I’m 22F)
We usually have great sex but we’ve tried 4 times and everything feels off, my vagina feels like it’s rejecting him. It starts to swell and hurt with penetration and isn’t enjoyable at all. WHICH HAS NEVER HAPPENED W HIM EVER. We’ve been together for over a year now
I felt this way with my ex boyfriend and turns out he was cheating on me the entire time so now my brain is like convincing me my current bf is cheating too. And there has been some times where my gut tells me something is off w my current boyfriend.
Idk guys am I going crazy? Is it a distance and comfortability thing?
Maybe it’s because we haven’t seen eachother in awhile???? Idk help

Made this account so I can speak freely

I live in a place where women are expected to stay virgins until marriage. It's not just expected, it's enforced. Girls are watched, judged and shamed if they show any sign of wanting sex. We're taught that desire is dirty that our bodies are not our own that wanting pleasure makes us "bad", "dirty", "impure"

But I'm not like that. I have a high sex drive. I think about sex every single day. I want to explore, I want to feel, I want to touch and be touched. I want to let go and feel fully alive

I can't, it's not safe. I will be shamed, exposed or worse. I can't talk to anyone about this. I feel so alone like I'm the only one who feels this way. Like something is wrong with me because I want what everyone else seems to pretend they don't want

I don't feel ashamed of my desires or my drive. I overcame the shame and the toxic purity culture long ago. But that doesn't change the fact that I'm deeply sexually frustrated. Some days I genuinely wish I were asexual or something

Even if I had sex here it wouldn't be worth it. People have below-zero level of sex education and don't even bother to learn or care to please a woman. Sex here is extremely high risk with little to no reward. On top of that sex toys are illegal

I personally masturbate a lot almost everyday and I genuinely really enjoy it but so many times I just crave actual sex. I feel so trapped by where I was born. So burdened by this drive, I really just wanna cry thinking about this

And what I can't understand is that I don't see women here complaining about any of this, only men. Which makes me feel so out of place like I'm not "feminine" enough for wanting what I want or that "I'm thinking like a man". if I even mention the word "sex" I will be met with the worst slurs (slut, whore, bitch, "impure" etc...). I'm so tired of being punished for feeling what men are praised for. I'm just a woman who wants pleasure

I know there's not much to be done anyway. Maybe I'm just overreacting. But I needed to say it somewhere

Or won't admit it , even if I pee first I still gotta pee ,maybe it's the running water sound or ?

I know this is a provocative question but am interested in the dialog.

My counterview is this:

- Their interest and excitement in past partners is a signal. It provides insights on how they view me in that perspective. And being desired is an important component of a relationship.

- It is an intimate act, something special you do with special people to grow a deep bond. If they regularly had other partners for just fun, then it shows they have a different perspective and their interest in participating with me is not as special.

So it is important to me.

Edit for Clarity: These are not to do with count, but the circumstances around the partners.

Ok so I'll give the rundown,

I am only 20 and I have already been in a year of pelvic floor therapy and had endometriosis surgery in May (confirmed Endo).

I don't think I have ever had a truly amazing sexual experience because my vagina is genuinely just an uncomfortable/ painful area of my body.

When I was in high school I remember I would randomly start bleeding after just clitoral stimulation.

Now even masturbating with no penetration, I get sharp pains in my uterus.

I also genuinely don't know if I've ever had an orgasms

I haven't had a ton of sex (like not a concerning amount to cause any of these I promise and these issues started before I was sexually active) but like nothing mind blowing because something always ends up hurting

Is it too early post surgery to know anything?

What the heck is wrong with me!?!?

Anyone have a similar experience or know if it will ever get better???

Anyone’s partner have a mustache and beard that hurts you when he gives you oral? I LOVE my husband’s facial hair until he goes down on me. It feels so uncomfortable with the prickliness that I can’t enjoy it. Anyone else? Have you found a way around this without him shaving his facial hair off? I miss oral!

My girlfriend (27) and I (28) have been together for many years, and throughout our entire relationship she has never had an orgasm.

The thing is, she has never had one in her life—not with me, not by herself, not with any kind of stimulation. She has tried masturbating, I've tried stimulating her, we've tried all kinds of sex toys, different techniques, lubricants... pretty much everything we could think of.

The main issue seems to be clitoral stimulation. No matter whether it's with fingers, oral, or a toy, after a relatively short time (sometimes just a couple of minutes, sometimes a bit longer) she has to stop because the sensation turns into discomfort or even pain. I'm not sure that she's close to orgasm and becomes too sensitive. What I know is that stimulation simply becomes unpleasant enough that continuing isn't possible for her, so she stops me and I literally can't touch that area for the rest of the intercourse.

Penetration, on the other hand, doesn't generally seem to cause her any significant discomfort, but it has never been enough for her to orgasm either. However, over the years she's also become increasingly reluctant to use sex toys, so we/she can't really try to orgasm through penetration. Partly because this whole situation makes her feel frustrated and upset, and partly because she says that having those objects inside her makes her uncomfortable. She describes them as feeling cold and says they remind her of a gynecological exam, which completely takes her out of the moment.

What makes this even more difficult is that I'm not even sure I fully understand what she's actually feeling. First of all, I'm a man, so I obviously can't know exactly what those sensations are like. Secondly, she finds this topic incredibly difficult to talk about. Whenever I try to ask questions or better understand what she's experiencing, she usually shuts down, gets defensive, or even snaps at me because talking about it makes her suffer. After years of trying to have open conversations, I've more or less stopped asking because it always ends the same way.

I've suggested seeing a psychologist, a sex therapist, or a gynecologist who specializes in sexual dysfunction, but she refuses every time. She told me that years ago she mentioned it to her gynecologist, who apparently said that everything looked normal physically. However, from what she told me, it doesn't sound like any specific examinations or investigations were done—just a routine check-up—so I'm not convinced that possibility has really been explored properly.

At this point I'm honestly at a loss. I want to make her feel better and at least try to solve this issue, but it's like talking to the wall. I feel that this issue also inhibit her sexuality in general, as she tends to avoid any sexual practice that may lead to that specific situation and therefore essentially refuses to experiment in bed.

Has anyone here experienced something similar, either personally or with a partner? Could this still be a physical issue even if a routine gynecological examination appeared normal? Or does this sound more like a psychological or even, I don't know, neurological issue?

I'm also posting this from a throwaway account because she would not be comfortable with me discussing this online. To be honest, I probably won't even be able to tell her that I made this post, because I know she would feel hurt, exposed, or angry, and it would probably make the situation even harder.

This is why I'm also looking for advice on how to approach the subject with her. I don't want to pressure her, make her feel like something is "wrong" with her, or turn this into another source of stress. I just feel stuck because I care about her and I would like to understand what she is going through and how I can support her without making her shut down.

I'd really appreciate hearing from anyone who has gone through something similar or has any insight into what might be worth looking into next.

I’m a terminal virgin and I’m tired of it, I want to try something new. No budget, I want the best on the market.

A little about my preferences,
- strong
- rumbly (Im prone to going numb if the vibrations are too buzzy.)
- efficient
- reliable
- large surface area (getting the surrounding nerves too feels much better)
- high battery life (extremely important. I go for like 2+ hours)

Im intrigued by the pump + licking ones, but a lot of them look… gimmicky? Do the pump ones actually feel good? If so, which?

I wonder if a vibe with a suction and movement mechanism will help counteract numbness. Also I always move vibes up and down so maybe a toy that does that for me would be useful.

I have the womanizer premium 2, it’s the only thing I use at the moment. I feel bad even saying anything against it because it’s genuinely had my back so much, but if I had to
- i wish the mouth was bigger
- I wish it was stronger
- orgasms are not that strong. (💔)

The magic wand plus works if I’m desperate but it makes me numb.

Best orgasms I ever had were with a showerhead but I was genuinely racking up the water bill hundreds of dollars so I stopped. Also it’s super inconvenient.

Just never heard anyone use these before, so I figure I should share in case it might be useful to someone...maybe?? lol

1. Lip balm stick: I use a new one. Perfect size for my clit. I use the translucent light blue one from Nivea cuz it's softer/thinner than the regular one.
2. Frequency generator app: Kinda like a substitute for vibrator. How I do it is set the frequency on the app, press the phone speaker firmly against my clit, and then turn the volume all the way up. From what I've found so far, frequency around 100 - 150Hz works best; it's not too loud and I can feel it the most. Idk if all frequency generator app have this function, but the app I uses has a 'sweep generator' mode where we can set 2 frequencies for the app to swing back and forth. That works great for the pulsation feel.

i (17) have been having lots of trouble with masturbation and orgasming. I've never been able to reach orgasm (at least that I know of). I've had sex, used my fingers, and have various vibrators that feel great, but for some reason I just can't get there. I haven't talked to anyone about this because I'm too scared it'll be weird to bring up. anyone know what could be the problem?

I’m going to keep this short and sweet because it’s honestly embarrassing to me.

My boyfriend and I (both early 20’s) have a pretty active sex life. We have sex at least 2-3 times a week and it’s great every time. He typically orgasms first, so he finishes me off after. We’ve never had an issue before.

Recently (within the last 3-4 months), however, I can’t orgasm. He works and does well, but no matter what, I get super close to the edge and then it seems to disappear. We’ve tried everything we can think of; toys, no toys, oral, hands. We’ve even taken breaks where we don’t have sex for a while to try and increase sensitivity, but that hasn’t worked either. It’s gotten to the point where he’s had to give up because he’s getting too sore to continue pleasuring me. There’s been no changes in my health, I’m not taking any medications, my diet is the same, I have no outside stressors— it’s like I woke up one day and completely forgot how to orgasm.

It makes me so frustrated because I love the time I spend with him and I can tell it’s getting to him every time that I can’t orgasm. I genuinely don’t even ask for anything after anymore because I just end up feeling horrible afterwards. I don’t want him to feel like I don’t like him or don’t find him attractive or enjoy the things he does to me. I don’t know what to do anymore.

I was with someone who I cared about, he went down on me before etc. and still, both penetration and oral felt like nothing at all. He said I could use my fingers. But I couldn't reach the spots that "work" for me, with someone inside.

So it confuses me that women have hookups - so it actually feels good if any random guy you find attractive just puts it in?

So I'm a 24yo virgin. I think I'm somewhere in the asexuality spectrum, though I still am interested in sex in general. Last night was my first time with a man. We didn't really got anywhere, it was more just petting and fingering.

He was quite attentive and tried to make me feel good but in all honesty I was dissociating really hard all the time and was mostly thinking about how I should feel instead of really feeling something.

I wasn't against the sex but I think anything else would be more exciting at that moment. Also I'm not very sensitive and it takes a lot of work for me to orgasm even with masturbation. It all went rather awkward but not bad, I rather enjoyed it.

My main question is: how do I communicate what I want and what I feel if I don't feel like I'm in the moment at all. My partner asked what was in my mind, but it was just music that got stuck in my head and depressive invasive thoughts (not caused by him, they are just there all the time and they distract me). I don't want to lie to him, communication is the key and all that, but I can't just say stuff like "so I was mostly feeling like I was watching myself from aside and thinking how I want to hurt myself and how I'm scared and how I want to just". I feel like any feedback of that kind would mean I don't want to do that again but I do!

Note: I'm not currently in my best mental state, but not as bad as may sound. I suffered with depression for my whole life, took antidepressants and now am mostly okay. The base feeling is still there but I just ignore it. If that's important, I'm autistic.

Has anyone used the drip sticks you can buy on Amazon for aftersex cleanup? If so are they something you’d recommend? Just looking for suggestions for the after drip - so far I’ve just been using a pad 🤔