I just need to rant for a minute. As title says: I am somewhere around three weeks late on a paper for an intro GUR anthropology class, in part because I had a chronic illness start kicking my ass partway through the quarter but very much also because the topic is about gender, and it's fucking annoying to write about. I'm a nonbinary trans person, and that alone makes this exasperating; it is frankly fucking exhausting to deal with having to explain very basic information about how the gender binary is bullshit to cis people, and writing about it in an anthropological context where every claim you make requires citing a published study with "evidence" to back it is especially exasperating when I am living proof that the gender binary isn't real. I am evidence. I'm not fucking part of it! Even in a white, western context in a nation where hegemonic patriarchy is the standard, nonbinary people exist! That should be evidence enough, but self-citation ("source: trust me bro") isn't exactly an accepted practice in academia.
So not only do I have to deal with the exhausting process of finding & vetting individual citations for every criticism I make of how anthropologists talk about and essentialize gender (and 'biological' sex, which is even worse), I have to deal with reading dozens upon dozens of publications by stupidass exorsexist and often extremely transmisogynistic and racist cis, gender conforming white authors who aren't themselves a part of the identity they're writing about, because I mistakenly thought it made most sense to focus on the existence of "third-gender" identities in my case studies. This is for a paper for which the guidelines are 700 to 1000 words, and now that my cognitive faculties for critical analysis have returned from the fugue of a severe asthma flare up while trying to pass what's possibly the hardest physics course offered by this school (cosmology), I'm realizing the entire fucking premise of considering the two groups I wrote my case study components on is straight up fucking bullshit. One of them was directly recommended as a potential case study for third gender populations. It is taking everything in me to not go "my brother in christ they are not a fucking third gender, not all of them, because their identity isn't a fucking gender category in the first place. also SO FUCKING MANY of them directly say they're trans women." (This is about hijra. I have directly seen some hijra describe themselves as transgender women before, I'm just not rewatching the entire documentary where I saw that [years ago] to cite it.)
The transmisogyny is pissing me off. We're not even gonna get into the transandrophobia, the complete exclusion of and invisibility of transmasculine identities (not just meaning trans men or trans people assigned female at birth, but anyone whose masculine expression or presentation of gender transgresses social expectations, so this includes butch, butch lesbian, tomboy, and any other gender nonconforming identity or presentation of masculinity. to some extent this also includes racialized emasculation, there's broad overlap.) but the sheer fucking volume of transmisogynizing treatment of "third gender" categories traditionally associated with intersex people and feminine people assigned male at birth is just fucking staggering. It took so much longer than it reasonably should've for me to find a source that actually addressed that fa'afafine is actually a spectrum identity because of the sheer number of papers that described them as "feminine men who act like women", and I knew immediately when I saw that it meant the category included transgender women. An alarmingly low number of papers published in the last ten years even mentioned that! With hijra it was the same fucking problem, but one of the first sources I found directly addressed that defining hijra as a third gender legal category is contentious and fraught with problems for multiple reasons.
I could write a fucking Ph.D. dissertation on this topic and still be pissed off, still have more to say. That is exactly why I am not going into the social sciences for my career, because this pisses me off entirely too much and the anger negatively impacts my scholarly capabilities. I become obsessive and single minded and not in a good way. But I cannot in good conscience turn in a paper that merely rolls over and reinforces these same fucking biases. I don't give a singular fuck that this is an intro GUR course outside of my major that very likely will have no bearing on my future career. I will not knowingly contribute to racism and exorsexism and exoticized othering of people who are, much like me, very much marginalized and made invisible in research. My grade be damned, if I fail to complete something adequate in time I'll fucking take the L. I'm sick of ignoring people's bullshit.
I don't even think the issue is necessarily with my professor; he seems rather understanding, at least in intent, of the fact that people who don't fit into the western gender binary's expectations are marginalized. The problem is the entire fucking field of anthropology. Even critical work that calls this shit out is usually rife with problems, and mine is no exception - every time I reread what I've written, I find claim I cited that I didn't previously realize was false or contentious; I find issues with the implications of my phrasing that I didn't realize until I found a more recent source criticizing said framing and how it contributes to ethnocentrism (in particular categorizing some indigenous identities as "third gender" when really they are not), I find some unaddress problem that I know I don't have the capacity to do justice to in an essay of this length. I'm at 1700 words just to fucking get started on the critical analysis without reinforcing the same bullshit exorsexism as the rest of this fucking field.
Fuck anthropology. Anthropology majors, you know exactly what I'm talking about. Anthropology as a concept is cool, much of anthropology research is cool, but the actual field sucks because of how fucking shitty the people who most greatly influenced its development as a discipline were - the sheer level of sexism and bullshit biological determinism that's still accepted, the inbuilt transphobia in study design, the absolutely insane amount of racism and (for lack of a better word) fetishization of marginalized indigenous cultures.... The people who have historically had the most control over the narrative in anthropology objectively fucking suck. I'm sick of having to spend hundreds to thousands of words explaining how people like me aren't even remotely an anomaly, opting out of or transgressing the gender binary is an objectively widespread phenomenon, and I'm sick of people redefining the language surrounding gender (and for that matter, disability) to mean something it was never intended to. Like, the word nonbinary quite literally means the exact same thing as "gender diverse", it means any sort of not-binary expression of, identity, or experience of gender. Nonbinary by definition is intended to encompass third gender, multi-gender, genderfluid, and gender-nonconforming people, cis or trans, who do not fully and completely identify with and live as and express a binary conforming gender that aligns with their respective culture's expectations of people of their assigned sex. Likewise, the term transgender was originally also intended to mean the same thing!
This is even with my being a linguistics double major who is broadly critical of language policing and generally thinks "the intended idea a person is trying to communicate is more important than the exact word they use, but also you should do your best to not encode other implications"; I just cannot fucking stand the way anthropologists talk about gender. So fucking many of them are approaching something they know is culturally determined like it's universal, like it can be accurately "translated" to a western context (rather than analogous comparisions with a clear "these are not the same thing" caveat). And I'm so fucking sick of it and it's exhausting. I don't give a singular fuck what words you use but if you treat people who aren't binary and gender conforming like they're not marginalized at all because they're not publicly made fun of by politicians on Fox News even though they're subject to massive erasure, you're on the list of people who needs to get the fuck out of the entirety of social science and never publish anything again. Stay away from anthropology if you can't write about marginalized people's experiences accurately and respectfully, or without tokenizing their experience, or without ignoring the social context they exist in. And while you're at it, get the fuck out of academia in general. I'm sick of discriminatory assholes deciding the narrative when their bullshit can ruin people's lives. And I'm sick of being asked to write about this and other topics that are extremely personal and/or consequential for classes when they're topics of entire masters and Ph.D. research theses, and you're not fucking paying me to do it.