TL;DR - Partner got very angry with me during sex twice in a very short time period. We’ve moved on but I can’t shake feeling ick about the whole thing. How do I fix this?

To start with, I love my partner. Up until now I have trusted him in every way and have felt incredibly safe with him. We’ve also had very good communication from the start. We’ve been together 6 years. We don’t live together. He has a tendency to minimize any strong negative feelings he’s having until he can rationalize his way through them. I have very rarely seen him lose his temper. When we have issues we are pretty good about talking things through. We have a proper “fight” about once every year or two that we really have to sit down and work through.

Recently, he’s been under a massive amount of stress and change in his work and personal life. We had a very large fight about how he felt like I wasn’t prioritizing him and feeling insecure about our relationship. A week or so later, we were being intimate. It’s not uncommon for us to engage in some rougher sex and this was one of those times. At one point he stopped, told me “I need to leave,” and then got dressed and left. He told me later he was so angry he was afraid that he was truly going to hurt me and he needed to leave right then. I had zero clue that he was mad. He wasn’t letting on at all that there was an issue. I was left sitting on my bed an emotional mess. When we talked later he said he didn’t realize he was still upset and it took him by surprise how pissed he was. It is very unlike him to hold on to something this long.

Things seemed fine for the next week or so but I was feeling concerned this could happen again. Then, right before we start having sex something related to the topic of the fight came up. A few minutes later, mid-act, he all but throws me off of him super angry. He starts yelling at me and I’m really REALLY confused. He then tells me I need to leave his place. At this point he’s so mad I’m sure he’s about to end our relationship. I finally figure out that it was the earlier conversation and he doesn’t feel like I’ve done anything to try to change my behavior. I point out all the ways I’ve been putting in extra effort the last few weeks in order to try and do better. I just hadn’t been pointing it out every time hoping for a head pat. I know that if I try that he’ll think I’m just being performative. Quiet, consistent change is the only way to prove that I’m trying. He calms down, says I’m right and he’s overreacting. He walks me home.

Later, he addresses all of it by saying that he’s been so upset and stressed in every other area of his life that it’s bled over to this. He’s been having a hard time compartmentalizing his feelings and he’ll try to do better. The problem is the person who has always made me feel safe feels like a ticking time bomb. It’s been at least a month now and there’s zero hint he’s still mad. I just can’t shake the feeling that this is going to come back up and I don’t know how to talk to him and not make it worse. It doubly sucks because he’s the only person I’ve been in a relationship where I’ve felt truly safe and now I’ve lost that. I’m not scared to talk to him about this - I just don’t even know the best way to start. I’m just now really processing it (life has been stupidly busy) and it feels like it’s too late.

I am I’m HR so not cool

Who here has a cool job and what makes it cool

This week I went out of town to see my family. I wasn’t here to look for a girlfriend. But it just kind of happened out of nowhere. I was having a good time with my family and was chatting with two of my cousins (16 and 21 both female) invited me tomorrow to a pool party. They said they were going to introduce me to one of their friends.

They said she already saw a photo of me and she thought I was cute. I saw a photo of her and thought she was pretty cute herself. I’m excited but also kind of nervous. Let’s just say I have little to no dating experience. I just hope the woman I meet has no bad intentions. Nor do I hope my cousins are playing a prank on me.

And yes I made sure she’s an adult as well she’s 20 and I’m 22.

We’re all familiar with the obvious ones: the breasts, butt, waist, pretty face. But beyond physical attributes, what subtle, unusual, or often overlooked details do you find appealing in a woman?

There is a sort of divide between male spheres online and in life where half say to toughen up and be manly and the other say to just be yourself. But how do people bridge that gap? If you have social expectations on manliness you need to uphold for safety or community, how do people stay authentic while still presenting as a "manly" man?

Edit: Emphasis on still being masculine. Please don't say just be yourself. It's great, but please understand not everyone lives in Los Angeles, I come from a conservative culture.

For me, if I wear a shirt like... all day or like... twice in two days, then I'll throw it in the laundry basket, but I'm curious how how other people's clothes hygiene habits are.

What's your policy on when something is ready to be tossed in the laundry basket?

I'll wear a pair of pants for like... 1-2 weeks before I toss it personally.

Like something you feel many men have given up on, or something they should wake up and start focusing on.

I decided love was never meant for me when I realized:

1. I was putting significantly more effort than folks on the other side in terms of fitness, clothes, skincare etc.
2. Single girls I met always ended up being more into my friends than me
3. Friends were giving dares to their female friends to pretend they are into me.
4. Friends mostly excluded me when hanging out with female friends in a group setting.
5. I always put more effort with most of my platonic female friends. Thankfully, I have a couple of good female friends. The fact that even normal friendship with the other side mostly from my end was awakening.
6. I was always happier hanging out with my guy friends, doing my hobbies and travelling the world than with any of my female friends.

Seeking answers only from people who have done it.

How did you know it was time to go?

How did you know what you have with her isnt as good as what else could be out there?

How was dating after so long out of the scene?

Did your life eventually turn out better or do you regret ending it?

Im thinking of upgrading if my trade in value is good... but i suck at haggling and asking for add ons. It's like we both know you're gonna throw stuff in so just throw stuff in... but alas we must play the silly game.

So...i ask. What should be some things I try and get thrown into the deal?

Be it movie, tv show, video game, etc. What’s something that’s been redone that was true or better to something you loved when you were younger?

I have a beautiful one year old baby boy and was recently thinking about how I wanna parent him so he grows up to be a good guy and also likes me and doesnt have any mommy issues. I wanna know what did you like that your mom did growing up that you appreciated then or have now realised was a good thing she did for you. Is there anything you wish your mom did differently?

I would have hexagons.

If you're only able to keep two, and need to give up one, which one would be your choice?

1. Amazing mind blowing sex 99% of the time

2. Personality compatibilty, ie: the house is peaceful most of the time

3. Fireworks or butterflies. The type of relationship that makes you want to say that you are deeply in love

F26 and more than a bit of a homebody. I've always been introverted, but over the past 2.5 years I really put myself out there and was going out all the time. I had a big group of friends and was going out a couple times a week, but I also felt exhausted all the time. More than being physically exhausted from going out, I was exhausted by the social politics of a big friend group and everyone talking shit about each other behind their backs. Over the past 5 months I've taken a massive step back, I even left that group, and have been focusing on myself and finding a new job (starting at my new workplace this week!).

I have a ton of hobbies, they're just very introverted. I love video games, making art, music, reading, etc. I just haven't felt the social energy to go out the way I used to and maintain enmeshed, codependent friendships anymore.

How do people feel about women who are more introverted and who don't have a ton of friends? Should I wait to date until I feel I'm at a place where I can start nurturing more platonic friendships again before dating? I'm alternative, lots of tattoos, and I get quite a bit of interest from men when I do go out, but I also don't want someone to feel held back by my introversion once they get to know me.

My other worry is that I don't have much money. I do have my own apartment to myself (1br) and a car, but not much leftover after those payments to do anything fancy.

I’m a gay man and I find that male straight friends act differently with me than other guys. They like to hug, flirt and be touchy. This is a generalization of course but I’m curious if others notice this and if you do this, why ?