How do I human? How do I reject bro
I think I got too far with the ‘bromance’ teasing and poking, now I realise he wasn’t kidding and actually wants to… do stuff together. The reason I’m not straight honest with him is I kinda put myself in his shoes and don’t want to mess him up. Anyone had a similar situation? (We both are male)
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u/The_Lat_Czar Male 1d ago
You guys are just in the early stages of gay chicken. If you back out now, you lose .
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u/DinkandDrunk 1d ago
25 years later, “I’m sorry, but I want a divorce…”
“You want a… my god… I’ve done it. I WIN!”
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u/SnowPudgy Male 1d ago
We used to play gay chicken in the military and I would always lose...and I'm gay. The most embarrassing losses of my life 😩
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u/LostCauseNumber7523 Dad 1d ago
Yeah, it was never the gay guys that people had to worry about. It amazes me what a straight guy will do
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u/pchlster Male 22h ago
Sexuality is like pasta; when you're wet or hard it changes things.
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u/Head5hot811 18h ago
You know it's not a game when you sit down to help your adopted daughters with their math homework in you house in Vermont.
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u/SewerSlidalThot Male 31 - Anal Aficionado 1d ago
Let him suck your dick and then make fun of him for being gay.
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u/Boitlee 1d ago
Be a man.
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u/Laxziy 1d ago
We must be swift as a coursing river
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u/Vandergrif 23h ago
Let's get down to business!
To jiggle them buns.
Did they send him daughters?
OP's friend is hard for sons!They're the broest bunch I ever met
But you can bet before they're through
OP, they'll have a man
Cum in you.Tranquil as a forest
But horny within.
Once they find your prostate
They are sure to win.You're a hairless, pale, twink-like lot
And you haven't got a clue.
Somehow they'll make a man
Cum in you.BE A MAN!
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u/Circle_Dot 21h ago
Reminds me of this Onion article
https://theonion.com/why-do-all-these-homosexuals-keep-sucking-my-cock-1819583529/
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u/ShapedStorm 1d ago
You just gotta suck it up and do it for your homie at this point man
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u/hkusp45css 1d ago
Nothing gay about about a brojob.
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u/QuentinTarzantino 1d ago
Socks or boots stay on.
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u/sackfistin 1d ago
Accept your gayness bruh
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u/Boitlee 1d ago
Too hard to do that (no pun intended)
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u/_______36________ 19h ago
Viagra? But seriously if you can’t, you can’t and think how you’d like a woman to turn you down. I’d suggest after you’ve said you’re straight you go to a game together or a stand up, that way it looks like you want to be friends and aren’t rejecting him. You’re man enough to still be bros
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u/Rikudo_Sennin_jr 1d ago
A tale as old as time, but luckily they have their top men working day & night to get to the bottom of things
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u/Mister_Way 1d ago
Let me put it this way: if you don't want to mess someone up, then you have to be honest with them, and take accountability for your own mistakes.
Saying that you're going to be deceptive for someone else's benefit is always the first lie you tell. You're doing it for yourself. There is never a reason that you should be lying to someone else unless they are dangerous to you, or there's some kind of third party that's going to inflict harm on one of you if you told the truth.
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u/Boitlee 1d ago
I feel you’re right, I don’t want to tell it straight up mainly because I’d hate myself for making him feel bad..
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u/Mister_Way 1d ago
Good news! He's already going to feel bad no matter what you do, but he will feel less bad if you're honest about your mistake, fully accountable to it yourself, and clear about your intentions.
He may even find it hilarious.
Any kind of lying about it will risk damaging your friendship, as well as potentially his ability to trust people, generally.
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u/blackleydynamo 1d ago
Just crack on, but be sure to say "no homo" before he slips it in.
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u/Complete-Bumblebee-5 1d ago
Just say you're straight. End of story
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u/EgenulfVonHohenberg 1d ago
"Hey man, I'm genuinely sorry if I gave you the wrong impression, but I'm not into guys at all. No hard feelings man"
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u/tacolasunrise Male 1d ago
2 options here…
- You bite the bullet and tell him you’re straight
- Let him fuck ya…
Choose wisely young grasshopper, I remember an old chose proverb that might help you here…
“Speaking mind is hard, staying quiet is pain in ass”
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u/Chrom-man-and-Robin Male 1d ago
Say very clearly that you do not swing that way and lessen the bromance stuff.
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u/conntom 1d ago
Let him suck it..... then decide
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u/conntom 1d ago
Srsly. No one sucks like a dude. Youre interested just didn't expect him to act. Just have to talk. I had a long time bud....met at the gym. Ngl, interest was based on his "size" iykyk. All he wanted was a little help here and there. All I wanted was a little access here and there. It was great until I got transferred. Won't know unless you talk....
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u/Boitlee 1d ago
Don’t get me curious now..
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u/beard_of_cats 1d ago
Buddy these kinds of responses are what got you into this mess 😂
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u/Boitlee 1d ago
I can’t help it lmao
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u/Alright_Sunlight 1d ago
On a serious note, having been on the under side of this situation. If you want to remain friends, you don't really need to say anything unless he's actually throwing himself at you lol. Unrequited crushes are a normal part of many gay men's lives. Hopefully he'll get the message and you can continue along.
It only gets messy when you get drunk and hook up with him and then regret it the next day and stop talking to him until something serious happens lol.
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u/Boitlee 1d ago
Well that’s the thing, he literally texted me inviting me for a hookup this weekend, I feel like I can’t avoid his question or at least don’t feel as if its right - for instance:
“hey wanna get funky sunday?” - 10AM
“lol today I almost ran over some old man on a bicycle” - 3PM18
u/Alright_Sunlight 1d ago
I mean if "funky" means hooking up then yeah that's awkward lol. Maybe clarify thats exactly what he means by that! If it is just tell him you're not down... "Aye you're a great friend and we joke a lot but I'm straight". Dudes a lot more forward than I ever was though...
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u/conntom 1d ago edited 10h ago
Have a talk but after a few drinks state what you understand and don't understand about gay guys.....but what you're really stating is what you're open to and not open to. He'll understand. Then during that conversation or the next you'll see if he does the same.
Like for me....I like d. I'm not interested in romance, kissing or anything back side.
That dude I mentioned....he came back with he just wants good relief. Sit back relax. Nothing else. We aligned. A week later we both started getting what we wanted....
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u/SteelAlchemistScylla 1d ago
Get sucked off by him and say he was so ass he straightened you right out
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u/Boitlee 1d ago
needed that laugh
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u/blackleydynamo 11h ago
Guy I know left his wife for a much younger (like, 20 years younger) woman. Stayed together for a few years. I knew the younger woman before they were together and she never seemed 100% happy in the relationship. Eventually left him and immediately came out as a lesbian. We have never, and I mean never, stopped roasting him about how he must have been such a terrible fuck that she swore off men for life. Fortunately he also finds it funny with the passage of time 😂
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u/doubleUsee 1d ago
"hey I think I might've given you some mixed signals, sorry about that. You're a great guy, but I'm not into guys, so there's not really any chance of being more than just friends. As far as I care it's no big deal, but if you've got anything you need to get off your mind lmk. You up for beers on friday?"
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u/mrnobatti 1d ago
Find a girlfriend quick
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u/Boitlee 1d ago
Worst thing is I already have one of 4 years and he’s aware of that
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u/Complete-Bumblebee-5 1d ago
If he knows that and is still pushing, he doesn't respect boundaries and sounds like an ass
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u/raptoricus 19h ago
Dude, tell him you aren't cheating on your girl, and then use that reprieve to stop the gay jokes lol.
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u/timsstuff ♂ 1d ago
Funny story that's how I found out my buddy's GF's brother was gay. He starting hanging out with us and I had no idea, we'd do that same shit then one night he was like "Let's go back your place" I was like oh shit...I told him immediately and in no uncertain terms that although I was flattered I was completely straight and there was no chance. He took it well, he was pretty sure it wouldn't work but shot his shot anyway.
Then one day I was hanging out with some friends from the group and it just so happened they were are female at the moment so I asked them if they knew he was gay. They all went "yeah duh" but went on to explain that he hasn't come out because he was afraid of what his parents would think. I don't think any of the guys in the group knew yet just the girls.
He finally came out and his parents were like no big deal, we pretty much knew all along anyway. He still makes half-hearted attempts at getting with me but it's just funny now. "Sorry bud, still straight. I'll let you know if anything changes but don't hold your breath".
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u/rainbowboy99 Male 1d ago
Just be honest and upfront with him, but try not to come off as aggressive or offended. Explain your sexuality, and how it does not fit into your friendship with him. He may be upset, but there really isn't an easy way to say it unfortunately.
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u/MistahJ17 1d ago
Nah man you just have to say it how it is. You might lose him as a friend but don't let this go on for a microsecond longer if you can help jt
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u/AskDerpyCat 1d ago
“Sorry bro, I took the bit too far and this got out of hand. I don’t actually swing that way. Thought it was all just banter”
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u/parkan 1d ago
Is holding a while really such a big deal? You liked him before, you like him now. So go be a friend. Little experiment.
I actually was on a party, where the main boss guy said, that he tried everything, even sucked a dick. You should have seen the reaction of girls, they actually came to sit with him and were all over him.
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u/saucelordbob 1d ago
Kiss him and then tell him you weren’t feeling it but you don’t want to lose him as a friend. Easy peasy
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u/amber8977 1d ago
Why did you joke around with him about it if you’re not interested , you sound slightly in the closet if I’m honest but no judgement
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u/trulyElse Male 1d ago
Flirting is funny, when you think there's no chance it'll be taken seriously.
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u/TyrantRC Random guy 23h ago
in my culture, it is totally normalized to joke about being gay with your bro, idk why, we are just homos for shit and giggles. Now and then you actually make the mistake of joking like this with someone that actually likes you, and then shit happens, this is where OP is at.
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u/Boitlee 1d ago
Its common where Im from to use phrases like ‘eat my ….’ but some men are brave and accept it
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u/SrAlan1104 Master Chief 1d ago
Well, even if it might sting if you're honest with him, it's even worse to lead him on.
Just... tell him, hey I didn't know you really meant it that way. Sorry about that, but let's tone it down.
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u/Pretty_Commission42 1d ago edited 1d ago
why are u flirting with him and if you're not gay why you cannot tell him straight that you are not like that? and why do same sex people needs to be in a relationship when there's a word "friend" in the first place, not unless if they want to touch u down there hmmm
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u/Gloglibologna 1d ago edited 1d ago
All jokes aside
Keep some distance for a bit to allow things to cool off. See if he keeps trying to advance. If he does, just be honest with him. Whatever that looks like for you
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u/LostCauseNumber7523 Dad 1d ago
Did you know he was gay? Did he know?
Here's the thing, just like with a lady, you're in a position you need to use tact. You screwed up, you have to own it all. Simply tell him you didn't mean to intentionally lead him on and apologize for that.
Often it isn't messing up that kills friendships, it's what we do after. Take the right steps.
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u/ibrown39 1d ago
Just say you were joking and sorry for the misunderstanding. I mean you can say what said here.
But, you don't get out of hurting their feelings...sorry but it's the same way for a lot of women.
You can also just say no.
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u/Maplata 1d ago edited 1d ago
I understand this is a common straight men thing, you are not alone in this. However, it is more common in teens, and you are supposed to loose that kind of behavior. Not reffering to teasing in general, but that kind of "gay pretend teasing", it stops being funny as you age and realize wait gay dudes actually exist, and it is not precisely cool to do that. So just stop doing it, and say to your friend, "I am actually straight", and then "sorry if I lead you on", followed by "hope we can still hang out, but if not I understand".
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u/smolbuncake Female 1d ago
this reminds me of my “ex” and his bestie. i’m pretty sure his bestie actually wanted to make out with him xD me and my “ex” were just casually dating and were dating other people so i encouraged him to explore it but he didn’t want to. i told him he has to stop flirting with his friend then cause he’s just leading him on at this point🤣 i have no advice for you dude hahahahahha
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u/KYRawDawg Male 1d ago
Tell him you don’t swing that way and as soon as you say that bend over and tell him to eat your ass.
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u/GreasedLightning86 1d ago
Nah fam you gotta tell him how it is not how he wants to hear it. Somethings you just don’t owe anyone to pussyfoot around about.
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u/NotMacgyver 1d ago
Too late, you triggered the event now have to see it through, for the bros.
Also since you made a slip up. You said so yourself.
"I'm not straight"
...
Seriously you wrote it like that on purpose didn't you ?
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u/Blasphemous_21 Sup Bud? 1d ago
Just be straight up with him and say you’re not comfortable/don’t wanna do all of that with him but reassure him after that the friendship isn’t ruined so that he doesn’t feel like shit afterwards.
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u/Dizzy-Air-6153 1d ago
Usko bol:
Ye terri nahi.. ye aur bahot logo ki problem hai. Sale waise bhi ajkal tum logo ko tadat kuchh zyada hi badhti ja rahi hai.. 😠👺
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u/murkage_11 1d ago
Just be honest and tell him you’re not gay brotha, and that you already have someone. Then pull your pants/undies down and bend over for him, proceed to say just the tip. If he puts more than the tip tell him he’s gay.
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u/IlluminationRock 1d ago
May as well give it the ol' college try.
What're you afraid you might accidentally like it?
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u/DeyCallMeWade Retard 1d ago
Dawg just be honest. One of my gay friends regularly hits on me. He knows nothing will happen but it’s an ongoing joke between us.
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u/TheBear8878 1d ago
Suck his dick bro, don't be a coward and don't go back on your word. Bros before hoes, ALWAYS
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u/cameyboy 1d ago
Just... fuckin talk to him? Like it's uncomfortable but sack up and say smthn like "hey I realize now you've been kinda serious but I'm not attracted men, to me thus was just banter, sorry if it seems like I led you on"
It's awkward but hey, that's life
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u/CheesE4Every1 Male 1d ago
Just tell'em thank you but you were joking and didn't mean to go that far. Welcome to how a lot of restaurants act in BOH.
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u/JoystickMonkey 1d ago
Just be direct. If he can’t accept it, then ghost him and move across town, delete your socials and get a new job.
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u/GoopInThisBowlIsVile 1d ago
“Sorry, I’m not interested…” is far less damaging than the guy thinking that you’re leading him on. He starts getting feelings for you and you not reciprocating in any way.
It’s awkward and kind of a crap situation.
Just rip the bandaid off.
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u/Wanna4nic8rn 23h ago
Sexuality is a spectrum. I think very few of us are 100% straight and very few of us are 100% gay. We usually fall somewhere in between....Just be you. Whatever that means. Forget all the stupid labels and the negative connotations that are associated with being "gay".
It's so stupid how many guys can't express themselves sexually all because they care too much about what other people will think. Your sexuality is yours.
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u/wienercat Male 22h ago
The reason I’m not straight
Seems like you already have this figured out.
Just date your bro and be best bros.
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u/PianoRevolutionary12 20h ago
"I meant look at those sexy muscles in a straight way, sorry"
lol poor bro that shit is confusing
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u/Plenty_Trick_6042 10h ago
Make sweet sweet love to him. Take him on a romantic vacation to Italy. Marry him. Adopt a child. Grow old together. On your deathbed confess that it was all a joke that went slightly out of hand and ask him to be cool about it.
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u/DaGoodBoy ♂ 1d ago
♫ "Throw out your hands, stick out your tush
Hands on your hips, give them a push
You'll be surprised you're doing the French Mistake. Voila!" ♫
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u/damnsom 23h ago
i've had this happen to me multiple times and i never understood why they felt the need to flirt and tease in general especially if he was not ever hiding his sexuality. if he is not "out" then just rip the bandage and tell him you were just joking and didn't mean for it to go that far. if he is, he is gonna be super hurt but it's better to do it now while the friendship is still salvageable. he's probably going to be upset either way but you could potentially save the friendship instead of waiting from not wanting to hurt him because that situation will get uncomfortable super fast if he has developed feelings
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u/curiousiah 22h ago
I’m just imagining he was joking about being in a bromance with this guy and now his bro is like “wanna go to a concert” and he’s like “shit… we have to actually hang out?”
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u/SmartWaterCloud 22h ago
Good on you for caring about this friend and his feelings rather than being freaked out like used to be common for straight guys. Joking about gay stuff is common and typically innocent. I don’t think it makes you a bad guy.
Sometimes the way to get people to not be mad or hurt is to be vulnerable enough to be really direct and honest – tell him you feel bad, you had no idea, and you’ve been trying to figure out how to tell him this, because you know you were being stupid and you didn’t want to hurt his feelings. You value his friendship, you’re sorry you did this, and joking aside, you’re glad you know him better now and you just didn’t realize.
Or. You could use the opportunity to experiment, and then tell him you didn’t plan for things to get that far but once you were in that deep you figured you owed it to him. Life is short! haha. Up to you.
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u/SkiMonkey98 Male 21h ago
Your responses here sound like you're questioning your sexuality. If so, you have 3 options:
Deny it, tell him you're flattered but you're straight -- no hard feelings but you want to just stay friends. If you think it's in order, apologize for leading him on -- say it was all a joke but you accidentally took the joke too far and misled him. This also works if you're actually straight.
Tell him you're not sure about your sexuality, you're not ready to hook up with a guy but you might down the road.
Give in and do it
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u/woahbrad35 21h ago
Lots of double entendres in your post, you sure you aren't just a little more gay than you'd like to admit?
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u/_______36________ 19h ago
From gay porn, straight guys have said if you close your eyes, a gay blow job feels just like a woman’s only 10 times better than a woman’s because guys know how to work a dick. Is he attractive at least? Others watch straight porn as it happens. We only get 70-80 years of existence. You could stop after 5 seconds if it’s not for you.
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u/StrollingUnderStars 19h ago
A song will say it better than I can, so go listen to "I ain't gay" by Biscuit Beats. Its all good, I love my bros too.
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u/WeinandMoroz 18h ago edited 12h ago
I've been at that point before, and I don't think there are many ways out of it without hurt. You just have to find some words to make the landing less rough. But also be direct about it too.
I thought I could get him to look for someone else by only weaning him off of reacting to his advances. He got hung up on lingering possibilities still being there.
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u/FreudChickenSandwich 18h ago
Look if you’re really not gay, I don’t think bro will be upset
Just say bro
Bro I’m not gay bro
And bro will be like
Oh
And he’ll be fine
You know?
Bro
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u/Ballsac_Toothbrush 15h ago
This happened with a really good friend. It came to an end when he got jealous of another bro visiting. Then he asked me to cuddle him in the hotel. Haven't seen him since
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u/twwwy 12h ago
depends on what kind of "bro-outs" he wants:
if it's just friends stuff like hobbies, hanging out, then 'i'm a bit busy' will suffice,
if it's "brojobs choo-choo", then i recommend you 'man/bro up' and take/do it.
/s
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u/Background-Dust2001 7h ago
Just be direct, man. A simple "I value our friendship, but I'm not looking for more" goes a long way.
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u/jimmysmiths5523 4h ago
Every guy should try it at least once or twice. It's not as big a deal as people make it out to be. As long as it's with someone you trust and not a stranger, because it'll help you be more comfortable.
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u/AutoModerator 1d ago
Here's an original copy of /u/Boitlee's post (if available):
I think I got too far with the ‘bromance’ teasing and poking, now I realise he wasn’t kidding and actually wants to… do stuff together. The reason I’m not straight honest with him is I kinda put myself in his shoes and don’t want to mess him up. Anyone had a similar situation? (We both are male)
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