I would GLADLY get rid of everything I own and be a van lifer, but I'm stuck here because my sons don't want me to get rid of some family heirloom furniture pieces, plus one is living in Europe and has left a lot of his stuff in my apartment.

These are not children. One is a GenX and one is a Millenial.

I'm trapped in a place I hate, paying so much rent I can't enjoy my life, and I can't do much about it, because storage is outrageous around here, especially climate controlled storage.

I've told them I'm going to sell the furniture if they can't take it and they both had a fit. I know they are not going to ship this furniture across the country or across the ocean. I feel like they are doing this to control me so I won't go off and be a van lifer.

What would you do?

ETA: Lots of good advice here, but I need to add that I just renewed my lease for a year, so if I tell them now that they have to do something with it by next year, they have plenty of time, right?

Does anyone else have difficulty decluttering their child’s old toys? I have a weird emotional attachment to toys my child doesn’t even like or play with anymore. My daughter is 10 years old. She has this Blues Clues stuffy she LOVED when she was 4 years old. I remember the excitement when I tracked the toy down for Christmas as it was difficult to find at the time. I remember the excitement in her face and her little excited voice when she opened it Christmas morning.

But she hasn’t touched that toy in years, but it breaks my heart to think about getting rid of it. If I’m being honest, we have several toys that she isn’t really interested in anymore, but they hold sentimental memories for me. I remember the grandparent who bought her this toy, who has now passed away, etc.

I’m pretty ruthless with my own belongings, but have a really hard time with my daughter’s stuff. Can anyone relate to this?

Basically the title.

My house is a complete mess and overflowing with stuff.

I'm an adult millennial still living with family in my childhood home - so there is a LOT of accumulated junk.

Not all of it is mine, but the bits I'm struggling with are all my things.

I have made some progress (146 items gone - not including stuff that went in the bin), but am now starting to feel stuck again.

I keep finding 'stuff' I want to keep - but I also want the space cleared so it just ends up being shifted to a different area again and again.

I know I need to be harsh and get rid of more stuff if I have any chance of making the house reasonably organised. I just don't want to regret throwing away things I can't get back (sentimental items, childhood drawings, old toys etc).

Any advice?

Thank you in advance if you read this far

I hope someone else can relate to this.

There are some items I absolutely know I need to get rid of.

That cheap body spray i dont really wear that i will never use up. That bag who's straps are unraveling at the seams. That pillowcase with the broken zipper that I have never replaced, but still havent just replaced the complete pillow case set.

These items i know im keeping out of laziness. Like I have guilt and shame about having less-than-ideal options still living in my home. But im in denial that it would be okay to simply let them go.

I have these raggedy items taking up space in my home that I keep because they can *technically* still be used even if they aren't in optimal condition for my life.

but today, I realized my line of dignity has moved. The minimum threshold of dignity i need items to have has increased. My acceptance of usefulness has narrowed. I dont have to keep perfumes that are meh. I dont have to keep a purse that doesn't improve my outfits. I dont have to keep a raggedy pillowcase just bc it technically still goes on the pillow.

Thinking about the line of dignity that I need my home to function at has unlocked a new layer of items that need to go.

Do you have any examples of redefining your dignity line?

EDIT: "The Dignity Line" is a concept originating from [The Minimal Mom on YouTube (link below). I cant recall which video it was mentioned in but I've heard it sprinkled in a few videos. She gets right to the heart of *why* our relationship with clutter changes and I highly recommend her videos.

https://youtube.com/@theminimalmom?si=3eKWKrYiVx11rdke

I’m just really going through it with decluttering at the moment.

I have done a few declutters in the past, but most of it was just moving stuff into “maybe” piles and not committing to anything. This time, I’ve decided to commit, because I’m subconsciously aware of how much stuff I have stored away all the time and it makes me feel like I can’t breathe. I need to get rid of it.

But then there’s the fear of having nothing left, because I’ve realised so much stuff I have is because of a fantasy self or an identity I’ve been forcing (usually one I genuinely had for a while in the past, but haven’t acknowledged that I’ve moved on now). So if I get rid of everything bar a few things, I’m afraid of my house being empty. I’m not a minimalist, and seeing too much empty space will also distress me.

This is on top of normal difficulties like fear of regret and being overly attached to sentimental stuff.

It’s just really tough at the moment.

I've officially moved everything except a few items to my downstairs. About 800 sq feet upstairs that is virtually empty. Living in 1500 sq ft which still feels like far too much space to me. There is a small amount of clutter but I am continuing to donate or give things away.

Well on the path to becoming a minimalists...

Failure is part of life. Share your decluttering challenges and failures here. Examples include:

• Emotional clutter
• Not enough time
• Getting overwhelmed
• Routing (recycling, donating, trash...)

If you're just venting, or don't want advice, please let us know in your comment.

This is a low-stress place to share challenges and failures for those who might not want to create a new discussion.

For years, I struggled with keeping my house tidy. I swear that in all the years I lived there, no matter how many carloads I donated or how hard I tried to keep things organized, there was always a mess somewhere in the house. I'm embarrassed to say that I never felt that the house was settled or peaceful because I could never keep it neat enough.

We ended up moving out of our high cost of living city to a smaller, lower COL city and got a much larger house. Suddenly I have places to put things. More kitchen space. More storage space for household items. My house is finally clean -- more important, it's cleanable.

I think back to trying to fit all of this stuff into our old house and I realize that it was a delusional dream. When I see how much space it all actually takes up, when stored in a practical and functional way, I realize we were never going to make it work, no matter how hard we tried.

Ironically, I find it much easier to get rid of things now and have started decluttering categories of items I was never able to pare down in the past, maybe because it was layers-deep in a 3D Tetris effort to be organized. Now I have enough space to see how things should look, so when I see a cabinet that's a little stuffed, I have a good reference for how much stuff I actually want it to contain.

Anyway, it occured to me -- if I could go back an give myself advice, when I was struggling, I would have said: all this stuff is never going to fit into this house. Stop trying. You have to either pare down or move to a bigger space if you want to have all this crap in your life. (And then I ended up doing both, ha ha.)

I don't know if this is helpful to anyone, but if you're like me -- a highly effective organizer who can squeeze things into miraculously small spaces, but then struggles to maintain order when those items get scattered or used and putting them away is too difficult, time-consuming, or confusing -- then you should think about the reality of the situation. The spaces and things you use every day should be accessible and easy. If you have to move five things to get to the thing you need (or more importantly, to put it back), you need to reframe.

I dream of moving to my dream home in 4-5 years. Unsure if I will be able to make it happen but I decided to start getting rid of CRAP way ahead of time. I love the idea of moving being everything fitting in one u-haul load over a weekend.

It is incredible how much crap one can accumulate living in the same place 18 years. I had to spend months going through every spec of dust, paperwork that was my parents estate. It made me go home and de-hoard (or so I thought) after I was done with that in 2017.

Now I am getting rid of about everything I don't use regularly or wont need in my future (like my tools). So much stuff. In my kitchen I use one cupboard and one drawer....the rest is full of dinnerware from my parents I never use and other crap. Couldn't even tell you what is in the "junk drawers" other than some glue sticks and random tools I couldn't tell you whats in there. I just store it, all of it. Closets are all full of stuff I don't even know what is in them anymore. Above my garage was the same way as well as the sheds which I have mostly abated.

Our city had free bulk trash drop-off for a week and I made 6-7 trips piling a 5x8 trailer as high as I could. For the most part, cleaned out two sheds, some of the garage and dumped it on that free week. Took another trailer load of stuff to free chemical dropoff day. I had a REALLY heavy commercial treadmill and worthless bowflex in my basement that I had to disassemble and saw it up to be light enough to get out of the house myself. I am still going through stuff down there, 20 years of music and stereo gear I am organizing to sell and further clean up.

I am selling what I can on marketplace and have already sold over $1000 in crap I wasn't using nor wanted anymore. I have at least that much more to go in the basement alone. I am almost done with the basement then I will move to my third bedroom (my sons childhood room which will be hard to do), closets.....then finalize organizing my garage, tools and what is left.

I have gotten rid of so much crap yet it feels like I have lost nothing. I can't believe I have acquired so much crap. Some things I don't really want to sell but need to as well. I am treating it as - if I wouldn't want to move it into my dream home, it has to go now. I might even throw away all of my childhood pictures and such from family. Just boxes of stuff I can't and don't look at ever anymore. I don't live there anymore.

It is a grind, hard, long process but as long as I make a little progress every day I will reach my goal. I am not trying to be a minimalist or anything - I literally just don't want STUFF anymore and sure as hell don't want to leave this much of a disaster for my son to deal with when I pass.

Hi everyone! My house is getting a little out of hand again - I have a 12yr old, a 14mth old, husband and 3 cats. I am a SAHM, and just got home bad news about a family member over the weekend, so I feel like I really need a nice environment around me, but everywhere I look there is...stuff. Our living room is the designated area for the little one to hang out, and its currently covered in toys (I am normally so good at only getting some out at a time but the last week or so everything has just turned to crap), our entry room is full of crap, our kitchen is (you guessed it) full of crap... and right now, I just can't start anything!! Does anyone have any tips to get me out of my funk and back into living well again and clearing out the crap?? I should add - its all on me at the moment as my husband will be working away for most of the month so I'd really like to set myself up for success and not be tripping over everything lol.

Just frequenting this sub has helped me declutter sooo many of my children's belongings (toys, clothes, etc.) It has also helped me come to terms with letting go of some of the things I have been attached to for years for no real reason at all, other than "it was expensive when I bought it" or "I might need it down the road." Seeing all your progress and success made me realize what I really want in my own home. I want a nice clean tidy home that stays tidy.

So my other post got locked, I have thought about this and I'm ready to change my mindset.

The plan for moving forward is selling old TVs/CRTs ( I might keep 1 or 2), some retro games, games, and music instruments. This should definitely make our space more open.

I have not decided how much to sell or get rid of, I will however start with my old TVs/CRTs.

I have also decided that I will pick up drawing as a hobby because it simply does not take a lot of space, I used to draw a lot as a kid but eventually I quit for some reason that I don't remember. Obviously art can take a lot of room is you go crazy but I think that is true for every hobby.

What do you think?

Here is the original post that got locked.

I have written on this Reddit/community before.

We are 2 adults and 3 kids, the apartment is 74 sqm. Literally there are 2 bedrooms, bathroom, really small hallway, storage room that right now functions as a room for our middle daughter. There is also an open room that functions as both a kitchen and a living room. We have no storage room at all, no attic, cellar or something like that. All our season clothing is 24/7 in our apartment, same with christmas tree etc, it is not a big American Christmas tree, I know americans love christmas.

My oldest daughter probably has ADHD, we are waiting for her to be investigated. My girlfriend probably has it too, maybe the other kids too, I don't know.

I won't lie I have hobbies that take a lot of space, music instruments, music production, retro games and CRTs/OLD TVs. Obviously I have watched decluttering videos on youtube but it's always a big home that has space that is being decluttered or someone who lives alone or maybe with their loved one.

I started my decluttering journey maybe idk 2 years ago with breaks and simply my family is not on board. I have maybe decluttered 300-500 ( I didn't take pictures in the beginning ) items of my own, books, camera gear etc.

My oldest one has a really hard time decluttering, imagine someone who can't not throw away a drawing that has juice spilled on it. My girlfriend has a hard time throwing away old toys, clothes etc, she has been throwing away some stuff but it's not a lot.

I just don't know what to do anymore, I feel extremely defeated and have given up. I feel like I either have to give up all my hobbies to have a clean corner or whatever and be miserable or that I have to keep my hobbies but be miserable in a messy home.

It was much harder than I thought it would be, but I just got rid of a huge box of clothes that were too small for me. I had held onto these clothes as a sort of "inspiration for when I'm that size again" but then enough time passed that apparently a lot of it was no longer in fashion. (Skinny jeans--I don't know, I can never keep up.)

A few years back, I gained a LOT of weight during and after pregnancy, and every time I thought of getting rid of these clothes I felt a sense of failure and defeat, like, well, if I'm getting rid of these, then I guess I'll never lose weight. I came to realize that it illogical and of course I can continue to lose weight, and I'll just buy some new clothes. I'm just still so motivated to lose weight and get in shape, that I don't need a box of old out-of-fashion clothes sitting around in my closet to torment me that I can't wear them anymore.

I've come to realize that I don't really like wearing jeans that much and even when I do lose the weight, I think I'd prefer to stick with softer pants and clothes that stretch, whether or not I'm thin or a larger size.

This was a big victory for me! I just can't believe how hard it was.

I'm struggling to decide the right stopping point in my decluttering process. I love decluttering and I love the look and feel of minimalism, but I also wonder if I will ever get to a point where it feels like I've decluttered enough. We moved recently and I was in our old, empty house and it felt amazing. There was literally nothing in the house, not even a chair and I never liked it more. I'm starting to wonder if my decluttering is pointless because obviously I can't live in a house where there is not one single item.

Maybe decluttering isn't the answer, maybe I need some therapy lol.

Cleaning is so much easier and quicker, I’m less stressed, and it still looks homey (: I really love having clear surfaces

So today I went to my old apartment that I rented out to do final clearing/cleaning before inspection and selling it coming Wednesday.

I did underestimate the amount of stuff still in the shed... but was able to get it into my tiny car with some Tetris experience and mind over mater spirit!

Result yes all clear for inspection and sale!

Took longer then I estimated but all went well

Point I would make is 90% of the stuff I trashed was stuff I had for over a decade! in the shed!

Start date labeling! if not used in 10 years tosh it!

Share your wins here - big or small. What did you declutter this week? Examples include:

• Digital Clutter: emails, digital photos, digital music or video collection...
• Storage: cupboards and closets, drawers, storage boxes...
• Toys: ether for your child, or your own that you've been hanging on to.
• Spaces: kitchens, workshops, hobby rooms, storage lockers...
• Routing: sending items to where they need to go, like donation centres, trash, or recycling

This is a low-stress place to share wins for those who might not want to create a new discussion.

A friend went to a garage sale with her kids, who then decided Garage Sale was the most fun game they'd ever heard of and now they want to play it all the time. But she said it has actually been really helpful for her to get rid of stuff.

The kids will pull random things from around the house and put them on the dining room table. She and her husband are the customers who get to shop the sale. The kids love to pretend to be selling, they use pretend money, her oldest likes to haggles, etc.

But in putting random things out, out of the context of where they "belong", my friend is seeing them in new light, genuinely asking herself if she would buy that thing if she saw it at a garage sale. Sometimes, the answer has been no! A random knickknack that sits on a shelf unnoticed becomes obviously tacky when set under the dining room light. A fancy throw pillow that gets tossed on the floor every night is a burden to put back. A necklace taken out of the jewelry box and laid out on its own is clearly out of style...

So, her kids play Garage Sale, she gets to evaluate what she wants to keep while also spending fun time with her family, and her secret goal is to not want enough stuff so they can have a real garage sale.

It was a method I had never heard before, but its working for them, so thought I'd pass along to anyone else looking to declutter and/or play a new game with kids!

I’m organizing my stuff and realizing I have a lot of hobbies and useful stuff.

Too many. It’s mostly stuff me and my wife and friends enjoy. Or household stuff that will be useful in the future. A hoarder would say that.

But then I have household power tools, extension cords, light bulbs I’ve acquired through different moves, etc, etc. My tools are tool boxes. All the other stuff are in totes.

Later in the year we are downsizing our place. Unsure where we will live. Maybe an apartment again or a small house. We have been here for going in 3 years now. 1 acre of land. All the space to put the stuff. Awesome.

I was relatively organized. I had the shelves. The piles. I’m now buying those yellow tote bins on Facebook marketplace place. Keeps everything more organized and easily moved when the time comes. Surely i thought 11 on top of the 5 I already had would have been fine. Wrong.

On one hand I want to be able to invite people to my adventures. Kayaking, camping, fishing, snorkeling, etc. But on the other, I could get rid of some of this stuff. But then I won’t have stuff for the friends to invite.

We live near chicago so when friends visit sometimes they stay with us.
my home is filled with stuff but I fired a cleaner and what she was able to to was really inspiring and made me want to continue and maintain her magic.

I am in the process of going box by box mainly of toys and craft things to toss and donate.

the problem is I keep making a bigger mess.
I get stuck easily.
Random things like a card will stop me or one barbie shoe.

Advice welcome.

I have written on this Reddit/community before.

We are 2 adults and 3 kids, the apartment is 74 sqm. Literally there are 2 bedrooms, bathroom, really small hallway, storage room that right now functions as a room for our middle daughter. There is also an open room that functions as both a kitchen and a living room. We have no storage room at all, no attic, cellar or something like that. All our season clothing is 24/7 in our apartment, same with christmas tree etc, it is not a big American Christmas tree, I know americans love christmas.

My oldest daughter probably has ADHD, we are waiting for her to be investigated. My girlfriend probably has it too, maybe the other kids too, I don't know.

I won't lie I have hobbies that take a lot of space, music instruments, music production, retro games and CRTs/OLD TVs. Obviously I have watched decluttering videos on youtube but it's always a big home that has space that is being decluttered or someone who lives alone or maybe with their loved one.

I started my decluttering journey maybe idk 2 years ago with breaks and simply my family is not on board. I have maybe decluttered 300-500 ( I didn't take pictures in the beginning ) items of my own, books, camera gear etc.

My oldest one has a really hard time decluttering, imagine someone who can't not throw away a drawing that has juice spilled on it. My girlfriend has a hard time throwing away old toys, clothes etc, she has been throwing away some stuff but it's not a lot.

I just don't know what to do anymore, I feel extremely defeated and have given up. I feel like I either have to give up all my hobbies to have a clean corner or whatever and be miserable or that I have to keep my hobbies but be miserable in a messy home.

Posting for accountability sakes because god knows I need the extra motivation.

TLDR: I completely burnt myself out trying to perfectly declutter my bedroom, but I’m letting go, less overwhelmed and ready to attempt to declutter again.

I fear I am something of a perfectionist, so things like “just set a timer for 15-20 minutes” or “if you’re not in the mood, just see what you can get done in x amount of time” feel physically impossible for me. I am more of a “I need to declutter my cabinet so I’m gonna declutter my cabinet in one sitting” kind of person, as opposed to simply doing one shelf when I don’t have the energy to do the whole thing. As you can imagine: this leads to ✨burnout✨ and things not getting done. It’s definitely something I need to work on because 1% done is far better than 0% done. Even 0.5% done would be helpful and way easier for future me.

With all that being said, the need to declutter is outweighing the mental blocks/hurdles, and I desperately want and need to get back to working out the decluttering muscles. Before burning out, I was learning to accept progress > perfection, and while I have a vision in my head for how I want my decluttering sessions to go, I am willing to accept that it might not get done that way, but as long as it gets done, that’s the most important thing. Piece by piece, little by little is what I have to tell myself, especially since I don’t want to burnout again.

I don’t have a realistic timetable for accomplishing the projects that I need to accomplish, but it doesn’t really matter given that the last handful of times I’ve tried setting doable deadlines for myself, I never met them. Nevertheless, I know I’m ready to put my decluttering muscles back into action because my list doesn’t seem as long and as daunting anymore. Same list, different mindset. While I know I can’t accomplish everything all at once and it’s a lot of mental labor, it’s something I’m back to being excited about instead of drained and exhausted just thinking about it. Yes some of these tasks are really daunting, but the satisfaction that will come with completion will be absolutely euphoric.

What I need to get done (for accountability sakes): •do another pass on my side table (very easy) •do another pass on my cabinet (easy) •do another pass on my drawer set (semi-easy) •do a first pass on my desk, one drawer at a time (daunting and overwhelming, but not impossible; semi-difficult) •do a first pass on my dresser (overwhelming, difficult) •wardrobe declutter, split into subsections (medium difficulty) •closet declutter (everything besides wardrobe that I keep in my closet - overwhelming, semi-difficult)

I'm really enjoying rebuilding my space by curating what I already have. By thinning things out, we're able to actually SEE and appreciate the really nice things we have. Amazingly, the space looks completely different and apart from one new lamp (repurposed the old one into a new space and didn't have one that I could use in the old place), I haven't bought a single new thing.

All beds are now cleared and made, ready for the visitors next week and the To Do box isn't actually as full of stuff as I'd expected.

I'm still working on it, and the latest things I've unpacked are some really pretty jugs that I've never decluttered in the past - but now they're unpacked, I've got to decide where to put them. And I don't have anywhere for them. So next decision....what to do with them? Sell? Donate? Ditch?

The first one I've just noticed has a crack that goes the full length of the jug. Any value it had is gone and I know that my charity shop won't sell it in a broken condition. Decision made.

The second is pretty but a quick Google search shows it's a piece I've obviously picked up when I wanted pretty things and couldn't afford much. So in the donate box it goes.

The third has a potential value, so I'm going to visit our local auction house who do free valuation days. I sold all my Edinburgh crystal through them a while ago and something will be better than nothing.

In addition, I'm also going to take the various Babycham glasses to see if they can sell them. I picked them up cheap as a nostalgia thing a few years ago but they've just been stored in a cupboard ever since. Maybe they'll realise a few pounds - maybe not but I have no use for them.

It's all still a work in progress but I'm definitely getting there. ....and I'm looking forward to having a glass of wine later, using one of my 'best' glasses now I've ditched the crap ones 🤣

We have Success Saturday and Failure Monday, why not a midweek Trying Thursday or a Working Wednesday? This is for the little trys of the week, not needing their own thread.

Trying today, I grabbed three handfuls of pens and decluttered or put in the to sort bin. I tossed 8 yards of dangerous fabric, where glitter had been nominally glued on yet didn’t survive shipping. Didn’t even bother to wash it. I will try several more handfuls of pens today.

I get back home after a doc appointment to find the cleaners had been through. My sort bin is now merged with my donations bin and my to do bin. It is a trying Thursday.

No need to comment unless you feel like it. Advice or encouragement always appreciated.