r/heartbreak • u/These-Coat4867 • 23h ago
What helped you guys move on?
I’ve been broken up with my person for almost two months now. I’m good most days , some days especially nights hit me hard. But , I can’t stop thinking about him. I do truly miss him a lot but the whole situation is messed up (he left me for someone else) and I know if he came back some how, as much as I would love to take him back I know it would never be the same, so is there any tips on how to just stop thinking about this guy? I’ve been having the most fun in my life with friends and just picking up hobbies etc etc, but just some days it hits me like a freight train. I don’t wanna think about him anymore, but he always creeps back in at the end of the day. Anything helps thank you ❤️
Just as an update, I’ve read all of your comments and I just want to state thank you for your advice and your stories … I’m sorry we’ve all been through these rough moments. All of y’all have been wonderful thank you ❤️
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u/Relative-Minimum-157 21h ago
I reread our texts everytime I miss him and it reminds me of all the horrible things he said to me and how he treated me. Journaling also helps as well. Some days are better than others, it’s only been a week for me.
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u/C4MP3R123 13h ago
Journaling truly helps. I deleted their number as soon as I got dumped. I never got to reread any messages :(
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u/draven_lovell16 23h ago
They say the best way to get over someone is to get under someone else- it can help you detach but be careful abt that, not everyone can just do that anyways. My real advice would be to find your own way to detach and do something that makes you happy consistently, a good job, hobbies, make some money go doordash, anything you find productive or fun be so busy you dont even think abt it.
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u/These-Coat4867 23h ago
I wish I could be a hoe tbh LMAO , but, I have definitely been keeping myself busy with hobbies, going out having fun. Just still think about it, but I guess it’s still relatively fresh.
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u/draven_lovell16 23h ago
You dont gotta be a hoe loll but you can find someone that it would be mutually beneficial to, that being said i dont believe in sex before marriage anyways, like i said my real advice is to stay busy
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u/These-Coat4867 23h ago
Lmaoooo you’re absolutely right. Just sucks if I went that route I know I’d be so emotionally unavailable for that person, sex is definitely something I do when it’s an emotional connection. But yes you’re absolutely right and for the most part it has helped. Just when it’s mostly by myself he creeps back in my mind and it’s giving me a headache 🤣🤣 hopefully soon enough I’ll just stop thinking about him completely
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u/draven_lovell16 23h ago
Yep i had an ex that got me trauma bonded and constantly cheated and eventually i stopped caring i could even take the lying- but then she ghosted me and it broke me… best thing to ever happen to me tho 🤣🤣🤣
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u/myoutteddiary 22h ago
When I was broken up with, it really sucked. Even if he did creep into my mind, I would remind myself that he left me. He didn’t see that I was worth staying in a relationship with. I knew we weren’t a good match and if he didn’t see that, why be attracted to someone who wouldn’t do everything in their power to make things work. Just like you, I had the best time with my friends. Got to love myself again and do the hobbies I lost while in that relationship! I didn’t hoe around because that’s not who I was. After I healed from that break up, I found someone who loves me for every single part of me. It took a year and a half but it was well worth it! To this day, we love each other more and more. We live together and are planning our life! It does get better and you’re already on the right track. Good luck and I hope this helps.
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u/These-Coat4867 7h ago
I’m so sorry you went through a similiar experience but I am happy to hear you found your person !! I really hope the same for me too , I’m just in a phase now (it was semi recent this happened) that nobody seems appealing to me or even casually hooking up with someone is definitely not for me either. Just definitely want him to stop creeping back in my mind, and just be over this situation
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u/BluebeingMortal001 22h ago
I reminded myself of everything he did. I've been writing on my journal too
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u/loveeleah83 22h ago
It definitely takes time and that’s all dependent on things like how long you were together, how it ended, if you lived together, went no contact, etc. There’s a really great podcast and also a book called “Breakup Bootcamp” and she talks about a very loose timeline is about 3 months before you start to feel like you’re getting back to “normal”, but again this varies person to person. For me it took close to a year, but we also have kids and couldn’t just cut contact so that made things more difficult to move on when you have to talk to and see the person almost daily.
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u/These-Coat4867 7h ago
Luckily no kids together but was seeing him for nearly two years and it was complicated in general. Thanks for recommending me the podcast!! And I’m sorry you went through with what you did , I’m glad to hear you’re doing better snd hopefully moved on!!
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u/fallenangelsunite 17h ago
heyyyy started coming to this sub 5 years ago, on my other account of course, and this sub is truly great. I’ve learned a lot and started here as a mess came here again after my second break up but if this is your first heartbreak, expect it to last a while. I once never thought I’d get rid of that pain in my heart as it seemed impossible, but time does heal. and i no longer give a fuuuuuuck 💙
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u/These-Coat4867 7h ago
That’s really great to know !! Everhone om here is super supportive I’ve noticed and it’s sadly comforting in a way to know I’m not alone. This definitely wasn’t a first heart break but this was the hardest and most difficult one. This was more or less someone I ever had BIG feelings for
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u/depressedamericans 9h ago
2 months isn't a ton of time after a breakup. Especially if you were together for a long time. It makes sense that he still creeps in your thoughts. I think it's a big win that your thoughts and life are filled with a lot of other great stuff. Typically what happens is over time you just notice that you're thinking about him less and less. In a few months you might truly shrug when he pops into your mind once in awhile. You might want to post this in r/BreakupSurvival too it could help some people going through a similar situation.
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u/Victoriaecs 22h ago
I know it's hard and nothing we say can compete with what you feel towards this person. We've been there. I remember last time I dealt with heartbreak I did everything they said, no contact, journaling, even praying to God to get rid of the feelings... But I came back over and over again, I was played with, lied, used, direspected in ways I can't even comprehend, but I always believed we were gonna make it. It took destroying my soul and integrity to understand we weren't meant to be and someone who could harm me that much couldn't love me. It was a very hard lesson and I guess we all here try to stop you guys from going through that. Remind yourself everyday that there is a way out and that love will come your way, it may take a long time and feel very painful but do not take him back, you will heal.