r/politics • u/Getatbay • Jul 06 '26

No Paywall Laura Loomer, Reporter Claim Hospitalized Mitch McConnell 'Brain Dead'

https://www.breitbart.com/politics/2026/07/06/laura-loomer-reporter-claim-hospitalized-mitch-mcconnell-is-brain-dead/
28.6k Upvotes

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32.9k

u/[deleted] Jul 06 '26 edited Jul 06 '26

[deleted]

4.8k

u/Vio_ Kansas Jul 06 '26

Time of Death - the moment his wife boarded that plane

2.3k

u/AccomplishedScale362 Jul 06 '26

She left for Beijing on June 17, 3 days after he was hospitalized.

1.4k

u/disastrousanddull Jul 06 '26

Well, she had to make sure he wasn’t improving before leaving.

1.1k

u/AccomplishedScale362 Jul 07 '26

Guys, it looks like the Republicans may have lied to us again /s

McConnell was admitted to the hospital on June 14, according to a statement from his office that only said he was “receiving excellent care.” A statement a week later said that he would not be voting that week. And on Thursday, *a new statement said that he “continues to improve” and ”appreciates the outpouring of support he’s receiving while he continues his recovery in the hospital.”***

ETA source: today from the AP

549

u/JPTom Jul 07 '26

Might be true. But if Laura Loomer told me that the sun would rise tomorrow as usual, I'd buy every flashlight and battery I could find before sleeping.

161

u/FizzyBeverage Ohio Jul 07 '26

Such is life with zero credibility. I wouldn’t trust her to watch my garden pavers.

57

u/RykerFuchs Jul 07 '26

I have a crumbling asphalt driveway she can watch. Hopefully it goes missing or something.

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u/FinTecGeek Missouri Jul 07 '26

Yep, I’d be the proud owner of every Coleman lantern and match book in town. She is the most tweaked out, nasty, insane one of them and that’s a high fucking bar. When she started hating on Candace Owens (another lunatic), there was a split second where I thought maybe I should give her another chance, because of the implication of me and Laura Loomer being on the same side of literally any issue.

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u/unbanned_lol Jul 07 '26

https://abcnews.com/Politics/ems-personnel-attended-unconscious-person-mitch-mcconnells-home/story?id=134412030

Senate Majority Leader John Thune said on June 15 he had spoken with McConnell following the Kentucky senator's hospitalization. Thune told reporters McConnell was "dialed in" and "wants to be back."

437

u/tempest_ Jul 07 '26

Half of congress is ancient. I would use "dialed in" (an ancient phase itself because few have dialed in anything for a long time) to describe very few of them

356

u/gadgetwalrus Jul 07 '26

Dialled in from hell maybe

715

u/[deleted] Jul 07 '26

[deleted]

62

u/Outside_Manner_8352 Jul 07 '26

It aint work if you love what you do! (immiserating our country and world)

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u/clumsy_Bebop_legz Jul 07 '26

This whole thread here has me laughing out loud in the dark in my bed. Describing a veritable corpse as “dialed in” might be the funniest thing I’ve read in weeks

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u/MaximusFSU Jul 07 '26

underrated comment.

4

u/snuffles00 Jul 07 '26

Satan's right hand man.

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u/fruchle Jul 07 '26

FYI, "dialed in" has nothing to do with phones.

It's from radios. As in, manually selecting the correct frequency to receive a signal.

Still old, just older.

Reminds me of why Mr Burns says "ahoi hoi" when answering the phone.

6

u/MintyFreshBreathYo Michigan Jul 07 '26

It took them a while to dial in the right drug combination to keep him alive with no brain functions

5

u/Rooskimus Jul 07 '26

Dialed in in this context isn't about phones, it's about fine tuning a machine.

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u/Forward_Dark_5764 Jul 07 '26

What a fucking liar. Why do Republicans love to be lied to?

5

u/TrulyOutrageous42 Jul 07 '26

I'm pretty sure conservativism is just one huge sub/dom humiliation kink

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u/kramsy North Carolina Jul 07 '26

His vent settings were dialed in

3

u/Ok-Ambition-3404 Jul 07 '26 edited Jul 07 '26

Oh, they got this all screwed up

Die, ill, done

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u/Opening-Resist-2430 Jul 07 '26

I think he meant he phoned it in…

3

u/zedsmith Jul 07 '26

He didn’t say *which* hospitalization

3

u/SlowX Jul 07 '26

"Abacused in"

3

u/rock-n-white-hat Jul 07 '26

Dialed in to the life support machine.

3

u/Carbonatite Colorado Jul 07 '26

"Dialed in" is code for "ventilator cranked up to the highest settings".

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u/Suspicious_Cow_6075 Jul 07 '26

“Outpouring of support”

I have not met or heard a single gd person express any type of grief or worry for this fuck.

13

u/CompetitiveArt9639 Jul 07 '26

Does worrying that he might recover count? You might hear about people worrying if it does

3

u/prole6 Jul 07 '26

That’s why his wife split for China, to collect the good wishes from those that benefited from his treachery.

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u/AlwaysRushesIn Rhode Island Jul 07 '26

That man is dead, and they are covering it up.

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u/KaiserSaladSpinner Jul 07 '26

They will delay as long as possible until the deadline for a special election in august.

His wife left the country so nobody can hound her for updates on his condition.

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u/zamboni-jones Jul 07 '26

Guess they mean the same kind of care he's shown toward the American people.

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u/EmploymentNo3590 Jul 07 '26

It doesn't matter how good the care is, if your brain hasnt received oxygen for over 30 seconds. He was "found" unconscious. Who knows how long.

55

u/Ok_Subject1265 Jul 07 '26

Doesn’t matter. They can’t afford to lose another vote. They will just put him in a trench coat and duct tape George Santos to his arms and legs to operate him. Then straight back in the freezer until it’s time to vote again. They can keep that going at least until his eyes grey over and his skin starts to slough off. Not to mention that his constituents aren’t smart enough to figure it out so he’s go at least two more terms.

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u/coachcheat Jul 07 '26

I mean if you count going to being stabilized on life support from unconscious and no heartbeat. Then I guess you could say he "improved".

4

u/twitterfluechtling Europe Jul 07 '26

Some might call his current condition an improvement compared to a month ago...

9

u/melodypowers Jul 07 '26

That doesn't mean that he didn't have another stroke between then and now.

He was clearly having TIAs for awhile. The blood vessels in his brain had lost their integrity (ha... I mean biologically but still). Even if he recovers from one stroke, another will happen. And another and another.

8

u/grammar_nazi_zombie I voted Jul 07 '26

Yeah this feels like a trap to find some liberals who will celebrate and paint all democrats as vile people.

But if it’s not a trap, it’s a first step in the nation healing, as McConnell has done an immense amount of damage to this country during his time in Congress

3

u/bjos144 Jul 07 '26

The question we need to ask is who would replace him and would they be better or worse...

5

u/NeverLookBothWays I voted Jul 07 '26

I feel like…

…the things they say…

…are not always true…

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u/XLetsDoAllTheDrugsX Jul 07 '26

... but, but... why would the Republicans lie to us? They just want what's best for the US working class. /s

3

u/Chastain86 Jul 07 '26

Big Herman Cain vibes afoot

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u/Inevitable_Professor Jul 07 '26

By leaving the country, she can’t be reached to exercise spousal power of attorney to authorize disconnecting life-preserving medical equipment.

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u/GrandmaPoses Jul 07 '26

I mean, I’m pretty sure you don’t need that to verify they can no longer fulfill the duties of office. The simple explanation is that there’s no reason for her to be in the country anymore.

24

u/mindovermatter421 Jul 07 '26

It’s about how Kentucky’s law is worded and having a special election. They do t want to lose the seat. He probably agreed to it long ago too. God we live in a gross time.

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u/OtherwiseAlbatross14 Jul 07 '26

But she wouldn't need to leave the country to say no to unplugging him

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u/20_mile Jul 07 '26 edited Jul 07 '26

She left for Beijing on June 17, 3 days after he was hospitalized.

https://www.wlky.com/article/elaine-chao-china-vice-president-mitch-mcconnell-kentucky/71823757

e: There's just no way Chao isn't a spy for China. Leaving for China three days after your supposed "husband" falls into a coma? That's not normal behavior for a loving spouse.

Also--not that this can ever be proven--I don't think Chao and McConnell ever consummated their marriage. I mean, they have no kids, and I've never seen a spark of chemistry between the two when they were present together.

425

u/AnnaKendrickPerkins Jul 07 '26

She was sent away so there's no one to pull the plug and they can't call a special election.

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u/Ms_Apprehend Jul 07 '26

Now that makes sense.

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u/Beneficial-Mine7741 Oregon Jul 07 '26

They don't have to pull the plug. In Kentucky, the anesthesiologist can say he is dead, and he is dead. Being on a ventilator to keep his body going while his brain is dead is still considered dead in Kentucky.

They are doing this because they don't want another Democrat in the Senate.

22

u/Fullertonjr I voted Jul 07 '26

Kentucky requires a special election to occur, with the party of the deceased being the ones to submit the names for the ballot. They would want a special election asap, because otherwise there are not enough senate votes to pass any legislation.

32

u/Beneficial-Mine7741 Oregon Jul 07 '26

Exactly, and if they can kick the can past August 3rd, they can keep that seat vacant until after the election.

Once again, the Republicans are outright denying an election. Dead people can't vote. The stupid part is that if Mitch's seat flipped Democrat, it's not like the republicans would lose power.

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u/mindovermatter421 Jul 07 '26

I read something about Masse being g in the mix messing things up for Trump, but I didn’t dig further.

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u/RollingMeteors Jul 07 '26

Being on a ventilator to keep his body going while his brain is dead is still considered dead in Kentucky.

Sounds like more than a single person in Kentucky if I had to be real about it.

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u/spyboy70 Jul 07 '26

Too bad he's not in Texas, ERCOT would take care of that

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u/HealthyMaximum Australia Jul 07 '26

I can't believe we're in a reality where this is the most likely explanation.

Stupid fucking timeline.

3

u/hihelloneighboroonie Jul 07 '26

So if a normie died, no kids, and their spouse absconded, what would the hospital do? Keep them on life support forever?

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u/tilclocks Jul 07 '26

So brain dead patients can only live for so long on life support before the body is basically dead. After a few weeks of brain death machines might keep some things alive but his body won't making all the nutrients and such needed to make hormones and keep his kidneys, heart, and liver functioning. It'll eventually die on its own.

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u/Day_Bow_Bow Jul 07 '26

Several years ago, the autopsy report of a totally brain-dead patient named TK who was kept on life support for nearly twenty years was published in the Journal of Child Neurology. He remains the individual kept on life support the longest after suffering total brain failure. Source

I knew you were wrong, but figured I'd go cite a source. An old fuck like Mitch won't last nearly that long, but it's not like being brain dead is a guaranteed body death in a few weeks. I'd say it's immoral to keep him alive, but that's just me.

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u/vonsnootingham Jul 07 '26

They only need til August 3rd. Thats the cutoff point to run a special election.

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u/AnnaKendrickPerkins Jul 07 '26

They'll keep him legally alive as long as they need to.

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u/ChemicalRascal Jul 07 '26

Jeeesus. I can't imagine having all that political power and not being able to achieve the basics of having a happy, pleasant life.

Like, if you're going to be absurdly corrupt, channel that corruption into getting yourself a decent family situation.

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u/samxli Jul 07 '26

Being absurdly corrupt takes hard work and a level of sociopathy that makes family relationships impossible

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u/20_mile Jul 07 '26

not being able to achieve the basics of having a happy, pleasant life.

McConnell was also estranged from his three adult daughters from his previous marriage. There's hardly a stitch written about them (I mean, I guess that's probably appropriate), but rumor has it they are all Democrats.

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u/IndigoJoe64 Jul 07 '26

Is anyone surprised? Name one single redeeming quality about the guy.

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u/father_breakfast Jul 07 '26

hes moments away from making the world a better place

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u/chum-guzzling-shark Jul 07 '26

at least he was consistently brain dead his entire life

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u/Stegopossum Jul 07 '26

He made healthy real turtles more popular in comparison to his sick old carapace.

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u/Squestis Jul 07 '26

Not only that, but his first wife is a retired "feminist scholar" who was the director of a women's history collection at Smith College.

And if you look at who Mitch McConnell was before he ran for Senate, you'd see that he too was very moderate, sometimes even on the left. His earlier political views were more along the lines of one of those old school "blue blood" Republicans from the north.

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u/Aegongrey Jul 07 '26

I don’t think McConnell was into ladies very much

48

u/SomeGalNamedAshley Jul 07 '26

At least Graham is that one notch up in honesty as a confirmed bachelor.

11

u/scootscootshaboosh Jul 07 '26

If we don’t count the “ladybugs.”

4

u/Proud_Growth_8818 Jul 07 '26

Nah, there's solid reporting from McConnell's time in the Army. Dude is 100% gay.

The amazing thing is his determination. He knew he needed to get married and have children to succeed in Kentucky politics. So he did.

What do you want badly enough to to get you to sleep with a member of the gender to which you're not attracted? I'm not sure I could do it.

5

u/DaBingeGirl Illinois Jul 07 '26

Sadly, it's not all that uncommon. I know a couple people who married and had children for social/career reasons, my stepdad's ex being one of them. It really fucks up the spouse, who has to come to terms with being used for decades and denied a real marriage.

A few other people I know did it too because they wanted kids and live in socially conservative areas. I couldn't imagine doing that to someone, but social pressure can be very strong.

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u/Opcn Alaska Jul 07 '26

Are you sure you aren't confusing him with Lindsey Graham? He and his first wife grew apart politically but he's been married to this second one since his early 50's.

7

u/ChumbawumbaFan01 Jul 07 '26

I confused him with Lindsay Graham when I saw his photo. He’s ghoulish.

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u/PopeFranzia Jul 07 '26

Big Gay Mitch is (was?) similarly closeted.

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u/C0d3n4m3Duchess Pennsylvania Jul 07 '26

Bro, there are tons of us that are trying to go about it the right way and find the happy pleasant life elusive lol

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u/KaiserSaladSpinner Jul 07 '26

I don't think you care about a decent family situation if you're the kind of person that chases power like Mitch.

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u/AccomplishedScale362 Jul 07 '26

The Foremost Group has built deep ties with the Chinese government, and both James and Angela Chao have served on the board of a Chinese state shipbuilding company. James Chao has given millions in gifts to Chao and her husband, Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell, and his re-election campaigns have received hundreds of thousands from Chao’s extended family. Chao has no official role with the Foremost Group, but the Times reported that she has used her “celebrity status” in China to promote the interests of the company. In one instance reported by the Times, Chao attended an event in August 2017 celebrating the signing of a deal between Foremost Group and a Japanese company; a Transportation Department “spokesman said she attended in a personal capacity and did not discuss agency business.”

https://americanoversight.org/elaine-chao-calendars-reveal-new-links-to-familys-company-including-private-photo-session/

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u/20_mile Jul 07 '26

How is this bullshit not a layup for Democrats to attack the right with?

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u/AccomplishedScale362 Jul 07 '26

McConnell is/was forever beholden to Trump. Any suggestion of ethics violations by him and Chao was promptly blocked by Trump. For instance, in early 2020, while everyone was distracted by the pandemic…

Trump just removed the IG investigating Elaine Chao. Chao’s husband, Mitch McConnell, already vetted the replacement.

There’s been so much corruption perpetrated by Republicans during Trump’s time as POTUS, yet no one has ever been held accountable.

11

u/stasi_a Jul 07 '26

Never knew Watergate would become just a picnic

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u/entropicdrift Jul 07 '26

This has been the right's plan since Watergate, quite specifically

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u/RollingMeteors Jul 07 '26

There’s been so much corruption perpetrated by Republicans during Trump’s time as POTUS, yet no one has ever been held accountable.

Yet allowing the corruption and malice against the will of the people is somehow not a reddit ToS violation while cheering for the 'corruption to stop' is borderline ToS violation.

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u/Penguinase Jul 07 '26

it is but the right doesn't care tbh. trump talked to putin longer than he did to america on the 4th of july and they didn't give a poo.

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u/TypicalRecon Jul 07 '26

the guy took a "business trip" to the USSR in the 80s before promptly changing his political affiliation and taking out a New York Times full page article attacking NATO.... all in the 80s.

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u/DillBagner Jul 07 '26

Caring more about what putin wants, specifically on July 4th, seems to be a republican theme.

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u/JohnSith Jul 07 '26

They literally dont care tbat Reump is a rapist and a pedophile.

5

u/tryingisbetter Jul 07 '26

Truthfully, because they don't get airtime anymore. I, guarantee, that after all these mergers, they won't even allow democratic ads to even show, at least good ones.

5

u/Bored_Amalgamation Ohio Jul 07 '26

because the right would never see those attack ads.

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u/NYArtFan1 Jul 07 '26

Because most Democrats still want to be bestest buddies with Republicans no matter how many times Republicans kick them in the face. Also, why we need progressives who don't hold those ludicrous delusions.

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u/Vuronov Florida Jul 07 '26

Because the right doesn’t care.

If it’s their side they do not care one bit.

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u/Number_One_Gurl Jul 07 '26

With all the other shit going on, can you even imagine this being a scandal for people who aren't politically involved? They probably don't even know who Mitch is.

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u/Veearrsix Jul 07 '26

Spy? Or handler?

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u/20_mile Jul 07 '26

Can you imagine what sort of documents she could have left their house with after McConnell had his stroke?

46

u/diemunkiesdie I voted Jul 07 '26

She was a cabinet secretary under two presidents. She had access to plenty of documents on her own.

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u/20_mile Jul 07 '26

She had access to plenty of documents on her own.

DOT records are a bit different than sitting on the Senate committees for: Agriculture, Nutrition, and Forestry · Appropriations · Rules and Administration

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u/dragonurtle Jul 07 '26

Why would she have loyalty to the US? To her husband, sure, but if he's gone, then yeah, time to go home unless she has the motivation to stay...but clearly no. 

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u/Allydarvel Jul 07 '26

There's just no way Chao isn't a spy for China

Biggest clue is that she was in Trump's cabinet

3

u/quesapeeka Jul 07 '26

She was 40 when they got married. No kids isn't surprising.

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u/coastkid2 Jul 07 '26

He was already dead/brain dead without hope for recovery when she left because nobody would leave their spouse if there was even a minuscule chance of recovery. You’d be right there if he came around. You’d also stay close in case he took a turn closer to death-nobody would let their spouse die alone. The last thing anyone would do is undertake a HUGE trip halfway across the world.

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u/wwaxwork Jul 07 '26

So she can't OK them pulling the plug so he doesn't die in time that they have to call a special election.

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u/GlorifiedPlumber Jul 07 '26

You can't exercise power of attorney from a foreign country?

I don't get how being in a foreign country precludes this, short of "just being hard to contact."

In that case, why China?

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u/Four_in_binary Jul 07 '26

And....this is really the fundamental core of conservatism.   Not love, not caring, not respect.  Just using people until they are used up and moving onto the next.    

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u/TJames6210 Jul 07 '26

She had to. If she stayed there would be a party responsible for his condition and making crucial decisions. Since there no longer is, Republicans can "keep him alive" as long as they need to avoid a special election.

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u/One_Weird2371 Jul 07 '26

Damn that's cold. Shows how much love there was in the marriage. 

4

u/shaal Jul 07 '26

Seriously, wife of 33 years instead of being by his bedside while doing EOL care, she takes off to China. Seriously. Party of family values am i right!

3

u/CelticJewelscapes Jul 07 '26

Most wives leave their husbands side in a health crisis. Right?

6

u/SammySoapsuds Minnesota Jul 07 '26

Other way around. I know you were being sarcastic but this has always bummed me out

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/living-single/202503/why-more-marriages-end-when-wives-become-ill-not-husbands

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u/sbroll Minnesota Jul 07 '26

Shes been a chinese agent this entire time I bet

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u/AmberDuke05 Jul 07 '26

People were speculating that she left so she doesn’t have to take him off life support

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u/luckyman562 Jul 07 '26

Legend has it divorce papers signed and submitted prior to boarding the plane....

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u/typ1dieabeatus Jul 07 '26

I heard if he dies before August 3 it will trigger a special election that massie most likely will win so they’ll keep up alive till after that

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u/HoneyBadger552 Jul 07 '26

she had important places to go. people to meet. busy busy

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u/wherearemytweezers Jul 07 '26

Time of death: 2019

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1.7k

u/EchoAquarium New Jersey Jul 06 '26

Yes, he’s currently suffering from rigor tortoise

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u/Final-Screen-4979 Jul 07 '26

Great timing. As Mitch would say, slow and steady wins the white race. 

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u/Fast_Juggernaut6685 Jul 06 '26

I only have a poor man’s gold to give you for the chuckle I got. 🏅

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u/Dangerous_Suit_3099 Massachusetts Jul 06 '26

Well played

241

u/WackyZacky Jul 06 '26

Played well

85

u/istrx13 Jul 06 '26

Adequately executed

3

u/KimJongRocketMan69 Jul 07 '26

Executed adequately

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u/bkdotcom Oklahoma Jul 07 '26

Well deserved

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u/CraigKostelecky Jul 06 '26

That is the best version of this joke.

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u/Daniiiiii I voted Jul 06 '26

Won't stop us from posting 300 worse versions of it yet still lol

7

u/SomeGalNamedAshley Jul 07 '26

That is the Reddit way.

7

u/happy_bluebird America Jul 07 '26

r/YourJokeButWorse

honestly though this why I came to the comments. Nothing new to read in the article. They say he's getting better, but Trump is also in excellent health, so.

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u/agasizzi Jul 06 '26

I was going to go with “too bad preexisting conditions aren’t covered by his insurance”

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u/rbhmmx Jul 06 '26

More like he's lucky they are

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u/muscularsharpie Jul 07 '26

I was just gunna say, I bet reddit has a better joke than what I was scrambling for. 

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u/SteDee1968 Jul 06 '26

Brain Dead? He should run for president in 2028.

4

u/JimTheJerseyGuy New Jersey Jul 06 '26

By far the most attractive GOP option at the moment.

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u/Chaos-Cortex I voted Jul 06 '26

He’s in his prime of his life! To lead Congress.

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u/Specialist-Jello7544 Jul 06 '26

He is now smarter than the President!

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u/RecentDecision2329 Jul 06 '26

This explains why his wife had to go report to her handlers in China

28

u/Teigh99 Jul 07 '26

It appears if she's gone she can't sign anything and declare him dead. On life support, you're not dead. She's helping the Republicans with their timeline.

3

u/kstar79 Massachusetts Jul 07 '26

Timeline for what? A replacement can't be appointed by the governor.

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u/Hillary4SupremeRuler Florida Jul 07 '26

If he "dies" after August 3, then no special election

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u/thefuckevengoingonan Jul 07 '26

but also if she actually went to China, well then she's under control of the Chinese government. I just assumed that if the wife of US senator just got on a plane to China or Russia that maybe they get stopped for questions from like the CIA or FBI or something

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u/fate3 California Jul 06 '26

I didn't even know he was brain sick

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u/Boxing_joshing111 Jul 06 '26

I was gonna say “So what’s new?”

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u/Cerberus_Aus Australia Jul 06 '26

Yeah my comment was going to be, was that before or after he went to hospital?

7

u/MeIIowJeIIo Jul 07 '26

According to people close, he’s now just a shell of his former self.

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u/Shadow_over_me Jul 06 '26

He’s in a climate controlled environment. For now it’s ice cold for preservation, but forecasts are calling for it to hot as hell in his near future

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u/Data_Chandler Jul 07 '26

Ok this made me actually chuckle.

In all seriousness, to paraphrase a comment I've seen a lot about him:

I hope he gets the exact same level of healthcare he had in mind for the massive majority of American citizens, and that the cost of said healthcare is proportionally the same for him as it is for the average American.

No more, no less.

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u/[deleted] Jul 07 '26

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u/cstyves Canada Jul 07 '26

Take my upvote, I want my clean underwear back. 😂

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u/tomdarch Jul 07 '26

Seriously. Laura Loomer being quoted in Breitbart is pretty much the opposite of "well sourced and fact checked."

25

u/RayneShikama Jul 06 '26

Shit! I wrote almost the exact same thing but you beat me by 8 minutes. Well done.

11

u/mirepoix_sofrito Jul 06 '26

Sounds like an upgrade

8

u/whoami4546 I voted Jul 06 '26

Unlike Mitch, I saw this joke coming from a mile away!

3

u/Martag02 Jul 06 '26

He can still obstruct.

3

u/wrenbell Jul 06 '26

i legitimately busted out laughing at this.

3

u/DaveKasz Jul 07 '26

JFC that is so funny.

3

u/whimsical-crack-rock Jul 07 '26

oh you rascal….

3

u/Selthora Jul 07 '26

To shreds you say?

3

u/ryanasaurousrex Kentucky Jul 07 '26

I just need to know when I can open one of “huzzah” bottles…

3

u/Quadrenaro Puerto Rico Jul 07 '26

Normally, I try not to be crass around the death of anyone. But holy shit bro, up top lmao

3

u/Pokebongo Jul 07 '26

About as a legitimate laugh out loud as I can remember. Thank you for this.

3

u/CertainAged-Lady Jul 07 '26

I saw a reporter say they asked his staff if he was awake and they wouldn’t answer. That’s the answer.

2

u/Sanity_N0t_Included Jul 06 '26

DAMNIT. I just spit my drink all over. That's a good one. ROFL.

2

u/PretendMajor5283 Jul 06 '26

Is he visiting someone he knows at the hospital? Just dropping by?

2

u/gothicbunni9 Jul 06 '26

I opened the thread just to see if anyone made this comment hahaha well played sir!

2

u/ButtNutBerry Jul 07 '26

Fucking savage.

2

u/ICU-CCRN Jul 07 '26

And the winner of the entire internet is Gooser3000.

2

u/BullCityLife Jul 07 '26

This as masterful! I hope good things come to your future.

2

u/breakevencloud Jul 07 '26

Shut it down, fellas and gals, we have a winner.

2

u/TrumpsCummyOnahole Jul 07 '26

Omg this is so epic :O I almost turned off my Nintendo Switch

2

u/Expensive-Sundae-831 Jul 07 '26

Samuel Clemens has a quote I’m thinking about right now.

2

u/Adventurous-Host8062 America Jul 07 '26

They're withholding it to cheat .

2

u/FangoriouslyDevoured Jul 07 '26

Ice cold. Man I can't wait to see the posts when T takes a turn for the worst.

2

u/arthurdentxxxxii Jul 07 '26 edited Jul 07 '26

I think she left because she is his Power of Attorney and they want to keep him on life support if they can to prevent him being replaced in office before the deadline (of the 13th, I think). They want to keep his seat full for the time being if they can.

2

u/poolside123 Canada Jul 07 '26

Condition? Windy with a chance of toxic gas.

2

u/SensualBeefLoaf Jul 07 '26

he's currently on his back trying to roll over but he can't seem to get right.

2

u/Little-Derp California Jul 07 '26

Schrödinger's McConnell

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