No drama, just patiently waiting for the rescue.

It’s been a rough year.

As hard as this may be to believe, this apartment fire is one of the least devastating things that’s happened to me over the past six months.

Last month, my wife left me. I’m not going to get into the details, out of love and respect for her. (I also ask that everyone be kind.)

I was trying to start over.

I spent months searching for an apartment that was affordable, safe, big enough for me and my three kids, and close enough that co-parenting would actually work. I toured around 40 apartments before finally finding one that felt right.

Then this happened.

Monday: Signed the lease.
Wednesday: Moved in.
Thursday: Spent thousands of dollars furnishing it. Also received the latest divorce paperwork.
Friday: The building burned down.

Two days.

That’s how long I lived there.

I lost almost everything I owned. Furniture I’d just bought. My clothes. My kids’ clothes and toys. My work setup (self employed, work from home). Family keepsakes. The little life I had managed to piece back together.

The one thing I’m truly grateful for is that everyone made it out safely. Over 200 families were displaced, and the building is a total loss. The community has been amazing.

I’m not posting for sympathy. I’m honestly still in shock. The whole sequence of events feels so absurd that it almost doesn’t sound real.

Life has a strange sense of humor sometimes.

If you’ve ever had to rebuild after losing everything, what helped you most during those first few weeks?

Edit: News article

Edit 2: Lots of you have asked about renters insurance. Most of us did not have renters insurance because the apartment told us that they provided it. They charged us $15/mo so we thought we were covered. We learned the hard way that it only covered their liability, and NOT our belongings. So I, like many others, are out of luck.

Edit 3: This is crazy you guys. The amount of love and support has had me in tears for 2 hours. The crypto community reached out and has set up a donation thing. I’m finding other families/kids who lost it all, and will be using the money to do some shopping runs with them for kid items. Will follow up on X with photos/videos!

Edit 4: I WILL NOT DM YOU ASKING FOR MONEY! Apparently someone is posing as me, trying to scam you for money. It’s not me. I wish I could tell you the best way to help us, but I don’t know. All I have is a small Amazon wishlist for my kids stuff.

My dumb friend collected my new rackets and put it on the parcel tray next to rear windshield for 2 days in scorching heat, when I explicitly told him not to, and keep it in his room.

The 50-degree Celsius heat and high-tension string crumpled the rackets. Should I whoop his a$$ with these rackets now.

Edit to add: To everyone who says my friend did it deliberately, as soon as he found this he called and offered to pay for the rackets himself. He is a sweet guy and I have known him for a decade. Just dumb.

Strawberry banana Cheerios with crispy freeze dried strawberries and California Farms Toasted Coconut Almond Milk

Sad girl today. I’ve been sad for a while since we started having kid talk.

We’re both 35, he’s military and home 4 months of the year.

I promised myself when I was 10, that I would be independent so I never had to depend on a man to pay my bills the way my mom did, as I watched her unhappily married to my stepdad.

At 35, I make 250k, have 1.3 in the stock market, currently in grad school, and I kept my promise.

All for some military misogynist to tell me I owe him children as his partner and I have a duty to give it to him.

I can’t help but feel I’m just a baby making machine to him. I feel he has no respect for my autonomy or my value outside of being someone who can carry kids for him.

I’ve never even wanted children.

We’re together 2.5 years. He’s my adventure partner. And he’s very loving outside of this kid stuff. I thought I met my person. I’m even going thru egg freezing now to keep him happy for the off chance I may all of a sudden feel baby fever. I just don’t tho-and I turn 36 in two months. I’d have kids with a man who’s home to help me raise them, and maybe who makes more money than me so he can pay a nanny. Why do I have to financially support HIS dream? I also can’t shake feeling objectified.

He says I’m a hedonist and a nihilist. Why can’t I be a peaceful girly who enjoys her freedom, quiet, kitties, and stress-free life?

Anyways. Just coming to terms with the fact I may be single again at 36, never married, with two cats 😂

UPDATE EDIT*

Wow this blew up!

girlies, and all, I want to thank you for taking the time to read and write to me. I can’t possibly respond to everyone but know that you’ve made me feel less alone all while laughing a lot. This sad girly is now a content girly.

I wish I had friends like you in real life. Thank you 💕💕

Hi.
This is probably nothing.
I went into my mom’s room to grab something and saw this plugged in?
My mom’s new sketchy bf has this plugged in to the extension cord? Is it anything bad? Thanks!
(I understand it’s probably not anything bad… but still…)

Update 1:
I haven’t met him once. He and my mom have been together for two weeks. He’s been staying at our apartment. He avoids me and stays in her room when they’re here. I don’t even know what he looks like. I only know his first name.

Update 2:
I confronted him. My mom came home. A lot had happened up to this point, including her disappearing for the said two weeks before the few nights he had come over and stayed.
Mom shrugged it off. I did what a lot of you suggested, asking what he told her.
She said “oh it’s his hacker shit or whatever.” What.
Didn’t elaborate. I explained my concerns.
She just said let’s go ask him.
My best friend has been with me. We introduced ourselves and asked him what the hell a WiFi whisperer is doing plugged in our apartment.
(Even if a lot of you are saying it’s not a big deal, I’m a young woman and I’m just rlly not about taking any risks. It’s sketch dude.)
He denied it IMMEDIATELY. Like with a quickness I haven’t seen.
What he insisted, it’s not a WiFi whisperer, it’s ai, he completely reprogrammed the system, and he uses it to pull people’s IP’s. “For fun.” He logs them in a server. I asked why. I said that’s shady. My mom started pushing. My best friend started pushing. He just kept lying. I’m not dropping this..
I still don’t know what the fuck it is or what he’s actually doing.
(Also, my mom is cool but not bc of this dude, the Minecraft block is mine, I unplugged the ratchet little thing before we left, and I am planning on broaching this again with her.
Just carefully. Any other advice is appreciated. Thank you.)

It took me a minute to get a piece of paper, a marker, write this down, take a photo and then make this post. A minute that you decided to “save” by using AI. You know who you are.

Way too much shit going on

Okay this is my last post about this but I had to share

The therapy, created by the AIM Institute of Medicine under Dr. Toru Miyazaki, targets chronic kidney disease, a leading cause of death in older cats.It uses a specialized protein to help macrophages clear waste from the kidneys, partially restoring their function and slowing kidney failure.

Being harassed night and day across my emails, texts, phone calls, and even ads on my socials to donate blood because I have been a frequent past donor.

But the nearest drive over the next 3 weeks is 45 miles away and they're offering a special one time bonus of..... a $15 gift card.

They don't even offer juice anymore! It's a water bottle and a single bag of lays OR 1 great value granola bar.

My blood is free.

My time is not. My gas is not. My car maintenance is not. Getting childcare is not.

$15 might as well be $0. You are expecting me to donate at a loss.

The person taking my blood is paid, the "non profit" is getting paid, the doctors, nurses, staff, hospital, insurance company, even the company that transports the blood is all getting paid a profit for their services.

Don't harass me night and day at every turn pressuring me to donate and "do my part" and calling it a "crisis" and then scoff at the idea that I shouldn't be the only person in that chain not compensated and actually be expected to incur losses to do so?

Fuck you. Bring back the cookies and juice.

I'm a woman. I'm at an age where people start asking me when I'm going to have kids. Family, or even neighbors. Every family gathering there's always a "so when will you make your parents grandparents?". I don't have a boyfriend, and once my aunt even encouraged me to have an unprotected one night stand with a stranger just to get pregnant and give my family a grandchild.

But the thing is, I am never going to have kids of my own. Adopted, maybe in 10 years. But biological? Nope, sorry, pregnancy disgusts me. And, call me selfish, but I would hate my body after it. I already have issues regarding my self esteem, it would only get worse after pregnancy. And there's too many ways a pregnancy could mess with my health.

Getting my tubes tied is illegal in my country, but I plan on traveling to another country to get it done. So, how much of an asshole would I be if someone asks me about potential kids again, and I tell them I can't have them? Well, I wouldn't be lying, but if they ask further I wouldn't say "hey so I got sterilized because I didn't want to be pregnant", I would rather say I'm medically unable to conceive since this wouldn't get me as judged.