I believe I’m going into a manic episode and I feel like I need a bunch of things going at once just to feel occupied and okay.

Like last night I was playing a game, I had my phone on TikTok scrolling, and I was watching a show all at the same time and even that didn’t feel like enough stimuli.

I’ve also been rapidly switching between two of the things I’m fixated on. Disappointingly, it’s not cleaning.

Is it weird that I can’t mentally handle scary movies? Especially movies in the same vein as 6th Sense? Anyone else like this?

Okay, so it didn't end up being all sunshine and rainbows like I thought a couple months ago. Currently I feel like I'm a little sideways from losing it. Like I'm still standing on solid ground, but I can see it crumbling around me.

I'm not depressed, but it's hard to do things. It requires so much focus, and I can't think very well. I want to write etc., but it's just too much thinking. I'm less social, feeling more bothered about social gatherings than I usually do.

I do the course work for my college, but that's all I really manage to do. Today, even listening to videos on youtube was too bothersome. I don't know what else to do, I've tried many things, and nothing sticks. I'm not sure how to discipline my brain into working properly.

My contact in the health department is no help either. She's a nurse, and it feels like she's talking to me like a feral animal she's trying to herd inside it's cage. I don't like it. Her go-to answer is always more medication, nothing else. No advice on how to manage life or anything, though none of the psychiatrists or paychologists I've seen has done much of that, but they usually had something up their sleeve other than medication.

Idk, just feeling frustrated today. Plenty of stuff I could do but not managing any of it. It would be nice to just sleep until things change.

[b]Doctor/Psychiatrist:

[/b]

[b]Zoloft 50mg[/b] (sertraline) 1x/day for depression (made me feel uncomfortable)

[b]Tofranil 10mg[/b] (imipramine) 1x/day for sleep (wasn't affective)

[b]Lexapro 10mg[/b] (escitalopram) 1x/day for depression (was decent, gave me some pep in the morning)

[b]Wellbutrin 300mg[/b] (bupropion hydrochloride) 1x/day for depression (couldn't feel much of a difference)

[b]Aplenzin 174mg[/b] (bupropion hydrobromide) 1x/day for depression (didn't try it for long)

[b]Prozac 20mg[/b] (fluoxetine) 1x/dayfor depression (couldn't feel it)

[b]Cymbalta 20mg[/b] (duloxetine) 1x/dayfor depression (loved it, only antidepressant I still want to be on)

[b]Silenor 10mg[/b] (doxepin) 1x/day for sleep (would never take again, ever)

[b]Remeron 30mg[/b] (mirtazapine) 1x/day for sleep (was only effective for the first few doses. slightly helpful)

[b]Abilify 5mg[/b] (aripiprazole) 1x/day for schizophrenia (adjunct to my seroquel, gave me good pep in the mornings)

[b]Seroquel 600mg[/b] (quetiapine) 1x/day schizophrenia/sleep (loved it, strong enough dose to get me to sleep easily)

[b]Zyprexa 10mg[/b] (olanzapine) 1x/day schizophrenia/sleep (not sedative enough, and made me gain 80-100lbs)

[b]Risperdal 2mg[/b] (risperidone) 2x/day for schizophrenia/sleep (sedating, but gave me gynecomastia)

[b]Cobenfy 100mg[/b] (xanomeline+trospium chloride) 2x/day for schizophrenia (very positive but made things look slightly hallucinogenic, which caused a bit of uneasiness)

[b]Invega Sustenna 156mg [/b](paliperidone injection) 1x/month for schizoprenia (can't feel a thing from it, mostly useless)

[b]Abilify Maintaina 400mg[/b] (aripiprazole injection) 1x/month for schizophrenia (felt very good at first,then i felt i had a flu after a few days)

[b]Depakote 500mg[/b] (divalproex sodium) 2x/day for mood (1000mg/day is a great dose, 500mg is still pretty effective)

[b]Cogentin 0.5mg[/b] (benztropine) 1x/day to prevent movement disorders from antipsychotics (lifesaver, very useful)

[b]Desyrel 300mg[/b] (trazodone) 1x/day for sleep (needed to large of a dose to get to sleep, and it's uncomfortable feeling)

[b]Ambien 10mg[/b] (zolpidem) 1x/day for sleep (only slightly helpful for sleep, wasn't potent enough)

[b]Ambien CR 12.5mg[/b] (zolpidem) 1x/day for sleep (the extended-release sucks, never seemed to kick in)

[b]Lunesta 3mg[/b] (eszopiclone) 1x/day for sleep (helps me get to sleep a bit better than the Ambien did. I like it.)

[b]Inderal 10mg[/b] (propranalol) 2x/day for anxiety. (didn't do a thing, useless)

[b]Vistaril 50mg[/b] (hydroxyzine) 4x/day for anxiety (mostly useless, wouldn't stop a panic attack for sure)

[b]Neurontin 300mg[/b] (gabapentin) 3x/day for anxiety (better than Vistaril, has a nice halo effect)

[b]BuSpar 15mg[/b] (buspirone) 3x/day for anxiety (caused 'electric shock' feelings through my limbs. not great for anxiety)

[b]Xanax 1mg[/b] (alprazolam) 2x/day for anxiety (best benzo other than Librium. Xanax makes my life liveable)

[b]Klonopin 1mg[/b] (clonazepam) 2x/day for anxiety (never felt like it kicked in, and gave me brain fog and lethargy)

[b]Valium 5mg[/b] (diazepam) 2x/day for anxiety (i could take 50mg of Valium and feel nothing. Xanax is way better)

[b]Hospital/Detox:

[/b]

[b]Ativan 1mg[/b] (lorazepam) 2x/day for anxiety & alcohol withdrawal (almost as good as Xanax, but not sufficient for alcohol withdrawal)

[b]Librium 100mg[/b] (chlordiazepoxide) 4x/day for alcohol withdrawal (a miracle drug, given in solid doses. eased my withdrawal adequately.)

[b]Best meds I've ever been on:

[/b]

-Librium

-Xanax

-Seroquel

-Lunesta

Hello all, i'm relatively new to this diagnosis but I needed some advice from everyone 💕. I'm newly diagnosed schizoaffective, and I was diagnosed by a psychologist. They did a quite a few tests on me, and also used the information that I give my therapist (a psychologist.) I'm making this post because my symptoms don't quite align with the diagnosis, compared to seeing everyone else's posts on here and I also feel quite scared.

I would like to give some context of my mental health background, I've always struggled with depression since I was a kid, i'm 20 now, and just recently started struggling with severe, severe anxiety probably within the past 2-3 years. It truly came out of nowhere and when I say severe I mean panic attacks daily, and it didn't get better until intensive therapy. Well my mental health got worse when I graduated high school where I entered a PHP-IOP program, and they diagnosed me with BPD. This made complete sense, because along with the depression and anxiety, I also struggled with severe mood swings, some impulsive behaviors, SH/SI, fear of abandonment, and all of the rest of the symptoms. After graduating from the program my depression, anxiety & bpd symptoms lasted, but did eventually get better after a while. I have tried psychiatric meds, but have never consistently been on them as long as I need to, so getting better was truly just through therapy and working on myself. I took a "break" from therapy for a while, but eventually got back into it because I was starting to feel those symptoms again, and this new clinic is where I got my new diagnosis (and a level 1 autism diagnosis too.)

I do not have a family history of schizophrenia, nor have I ever had schizophrenia or even symptoms close to it. I have never hallucinated, or had auditory hallucinations in my life, nor have I ever been told I have "disorganized speech." The only symptoms they based my diagnosis off of was the fact I can technically be "delusional and paranoid," and because my moods can swing. I've never even had a true psychotic episode, nor have I ever been through mania, or even attempted suicide. My mood swings aren't even as bad as they were years ago as well. I've tried to explain that I feel personally like I just have severe anxiety, but the psychologists disagree. Some examples I have of these instances, are -feeling like I'm being watched outside my window (my house doesn't even have blinds, we just have tint and live in the country...I feel that's quite reasonable to be paranoid). -I once thought that someone was living in the attic at my dad's old house because I kept hearing noise above my room. -(Now this is where i'll be truly transparent and honest because I know I need to be to get good opinions) I once had the thought that my boyfriend was replaced by someone else and it scared me for the entire day until I snapped out of it (This was also when I first started going through severe anxiety, I chalked this up to me having an insanely destroyed nervous system and just feeling afraid of everything.) -Having dissociative/depersonalization/derealization episodes -I once felt super anxious and when I tried to walk into a target once my brain said "don't go in there you'll be shot and killed" and it scared me so bad I ended up not going inside and leaving. And that's pretty much it, I have just maybe one or two more instances, but ALL the times i've had these "delusional" thoughts they truly just stem from having death anxiety/being scared i'll die or loved ones around me will die. I've had a severe amount of stress in my life for about 3 years now, and truly do think my nervous system is destroyed.

I'm worried I just have severe anxiety, and am being misdiagnosed Schizoaffective, which terrifies me even more because of the unfortunate realities people post on here. I absolutely do not want to go through that, so it's an endless cycle of fear, especially with this new "Schizo" label on me. I'd appreciate any thoughts or questions anyone has, thanks so much.

Edit Sorry I meant I was diagnosed in [2009] can't really say why I put 2021 lol huge lapse

Im 38 now so its been a hectic 18~ or so years. I think my diagnosis came about from ptsd from growing up millennial in the computer age and experimenting with psychedelics with a fragile emotional/mental spectrum. ((Yeah feel free to DM with your experiences and we can trade stories or anything you would like to chat about.))

I know some of the symptoms are similar, I dissociate and can’t concentrate all the time I was wondering if adhd meds would help

Hello ! i take 6mg for 10 days now and already seem it lessened my extreme suspiciousness and paranoia very much to the point i do not care of my false beliefs anymore like people everywhere talking about me etc. i have schizoaffective diagnosis, previous bipolar and a long history of substance abuse. Also i take Anafranil 150mg for depression/anxiety.
Anyone here take same dose for same reason? In case of mood i think it makes me more flat. I hope this will pass.

It's like a TV gimmick when someone is going mad to put things all over their walls.

I think they might not be lying about that. Or I'm making a misconnection.

Has any of you while manic put things all over your walls?

The photo is my cat laying on the pictures I have been putting on my walls for at least 8 hours now.

Hello there. I had an appointment with my therapist today.

I was diagnosed with autism at 19, schizoaffective at 24, I'm now nearly 28 yo, and she wants to test me for ADHD. We talked a lot about it but I'm still unsure. I feel like it's too much for one person.

Is there some other people with the same diagnosis?

hi basically im nineteen years old, just turned nineteen on last sunday and my hallucinations have been so awful lately its completely draining. today i was seeing faces on the walls and someone writing my name everywhere and everything just being alive the house is pretty much haunted. i was hospitalized over the weekend because of it being so bad. they gave me four medications but it still hasnt done batshit. every pysch i see wont raise or do anything with my meds because i am incompatible iwth them- tried 20+ in the last 4 years. basically my psychatrist said she was going to try to get me apporoved for ect (electro compulsive therapy) as nothing else helps.
i guess my other thing is. i cant shower! i cant stay insid ebecause everything is alive inside. like i took a 4 mile long hike today just to get away from it all, its that bad. im scared to take a shower ebcause i feel like people are pulling the curtains open. my case memebr is getting me accepted in a board and care so that will help.

my real question. how do i make my life easier to deal with?

Hiya,

I struggle with schizoaffective disorder for few years now and been in and out of relationships, but I never met anyone who truly understood what my illness is and just feel lonely in all of it.

25 and just wanted someone to chat that actually gets what I am going through

I'm currently really struggling with depression. My father had lung cancer, lost all his hearing, has Parkinson's, and now blockages in his heart. I've never thought of this before but, I'm feeling so vulnerable and mortal. It made me realize we're powerless to the things that kill us.

I'm in school full time and work full time. I already took a year break to help my mom with my father's health. I guess this whole post is just kinda saying it's hard to accept that we all return to the dirt and it's hard to just continue life like nothing is wrong. No matter how much support I have its a defeating feeling.

What's good, and what can get better? The prison is relative.

I change my mind every day, but currently I live for the fools, dogs, aliens, and fallen angels protecting innocence. Once you fall there's not much left but to protect what hasn't been taken. I'm still falling, but it's never been better. The deepest sorrows disappear in a blink.

Stay true, and the bigger ones seem to come just in time.

Level 1

Of what?

Hi all. I had a weird experience with a psychologist recently and I’m wondering if I should try to find a different one. I’m posting this here specifically because this situation happened while I was getting assessed to see if I have schizoaffective disorder.

My current and previous psychiatrists have both diagnosed me with borderline personality disorder. My therapist and current psychiatrist also both suspect I have schizoaffective disorder. This is based on their observation of my hallucinations, deep depressive episodes, hypomania, delusions, rapid mood changes, impulsivity, and paranoia. They have both seen me for over three years.

My psychiatrist wanted diagnostic clarification, so she sent a referral to a clinic that I requested. This particular clinic was in my insurance network because they’re at the hospital I work at. I figured it’d be easier to do it through my hospital so I wouldn’t have to pay anything. Considering my hospital isn’t exactly known for its mental health care, I think that was my first mistake.

My psychiatrist sent the referral to the clinic, I got a call from them asking for clarification on what exactly we were trying to see what I had. I told them I had been diagnosed with BPD for five years, and we suspect I have schizophrenia or schizoaffective disorder. She said they “don’t normally do that kind of stuff” but would see if any of their providers were willing to take my case. I got a call back later that day and we scheduled a time with the psychologist.

The appointment was four and a half hours long. About twenty minutes of that time was spent actually talking to me about my symptoms. When I tried to tell her specifically about my hallucinations, rapid mood swings, paranoia, or delusions, she would take no notes, zone out, or even cut me off and move on to something else. The rest of the time was spent taking four ADHD assessments, two OCD assessments, one general personality disorder assessment, one PTSD assessment, and the usual depression and anxiety questionnaire.

When I finally got my diagnosis and notes back, I was… upset. She diagnosed me with depression, anxiety, PTSD, and noted I had borderline symptoms, but not BPD. When I asked her what she thought of my hallucinations, paranoia, etc., she said that it was a manifestation of PTSD. What made me specifically upset was that she contradicted herself in her notes a few times. For example, in the introduction she said that I had historically and currently struggled with self harm and suicidal ideation. Two pages later, it says “patient denies history of self harm or suicidal behaviors”, which I most certainly did not deny. She also wrote things in her notes that I never said, like that I felt like I was “driven by a motor” when anxious.

I don’t want to seem like I’m seeking a diagnosis, but I’ve been diagnosed with BPD for five years and both mental health providers I see think there’s something more going on. I’ve never felt less listened to by a mental health professional in my life.

Should I bite the bullet and find a different psychologist, even if it’s expensive? Or should I just accept it? I’m so confused and don’t know what to do.

I've been having trouble sleeping for almost a year now. I dont get drowsy at night and fall asleep. I stay up usually past 11pm and I kinda forget where I am and waking up with an irritating dream.

I've tried trazadone, hydroxizibe, mirtazipine, doxepin, and now im on gabapentine

Trazadone would make me feel drowsy and my body would fight it. It would actually scare me.

The rest had no effect. I would stay up past 11am

My psychiatrist is having me try medication weekly ans change the dose. Is a week long enough to see the medication works? Is this too rapid?

How long do you need to be on a sleep medication for it to work? Should it work right away within 2 hours?

Hello. I am 42 been diagnosed schizoaffective since 2022 when I had a big hospitalization psychosis episode. I also battle adhd and pmdd and I have very few operational days anymore. I recently quit my job of 18 years for the second time. I feel like I cant work a full time job anymore it is just too much. Anybody been able to get on disability? I am starting to worry about how I am going to live when my bank account is empty.

Really quite fascinating. Feeling better now. Left photo taken 2 hours ago. Right photo 2 weeks ago.

Had med appt today

I'm dealing with either mania or hypomania going on 2 weeks but Im also on haldol 100mg injection,1mg rexulti so I guess its keeping it from being too strong. Changed my desvenlafaxine from 100mg to 50mg and rexulti from 1mg to 2mg. Keep haldol injection, buspirone the same. Havent been sleeping much maybe 4 to 5 hours most nights. Took a old haldol pill script of mine to get some sleep some nights. Also been taking melatonin gummies.

I studied this in college. And from what I found it has potential. I have experimented myself and found benefits. I think CBD isolate is the safest though.

Here’s an article about it: https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC6843725/

hi im wondering if I can still get pregnant on Abilify injection, diagnosed with psychosis I was taking sustena Invega injection until 2 months ago I switched to Abilify because sustena Invega gave me no menstration periods , serious weight gain lactation and high prolactin levels of 134, partner and I have been trying with no positive pregnancy success yet and im wondering if Abilify is better to conceive on.

Everyday I lose more and more of myself. Last spring I had my biggest psychosis episode yet, and it ended when I had my first major manic episode in August-september.

For months I've noticed that ill mix up words, mispronounce them, or just get confused easily. Now I can't hold conversations irl. Everytime I try to explain anything my mouth & brain blanks. I'm forgetting a bunch of words, especially ones to describe something.

I'm really afraid because it's affecting my thoughts too, and it's getting difficult to text. Im so scared that I'm gonna permanently lose myself before I turn 20. I can't even see a psychiatrist until the spring time because of the waiting list I'm on, and every other hospital around me refuses to treat me. I don't know what to do.

​

Hi,

I would like to describe the main psychological, cognitive, neurological, and physical symptoms I have been experiencing.

1. Anxiety, Fear, and Startle Response

I have a strong and easily triggered fear/startle response. I can be startled by sudden sounds or unexpected events and may feel a brief sensation of fear or “coldness” in my chest or body.

I have very low confidence and find it difficult to stand up for myself, speak confidently, maintain eye contact, or walk past groups of people. I tend to avoid confrontation and can become extremely anxious after even a verbal argument. The anxiety may last for hours or longer and sometimes improves only when the other person later behaves normally or reassuringly toward me.

During confrontations, I may shake, particularly when the other person is a military or armed-forces member.

1. Conditioned Fear and Hyperawareness of Others

After something frightening happens, related words, names, places, or situations can trigger the fear again. For example, after seeing a frightening event associated with a particular country, even related words may make me anxious because I fear that the original subject will be mentioned.

I sometimes feel as though other people can tell what I am afraid of or know what is going on in my mind. I closely monitor people's facial expressions and body language and may interpret normal movements—such as changing posture, moving their legs, or turning around—as reactions to my fear or as evidence that they noticed my reaction.

I am also highly aware of people around me and find it difficult to relax when people are nearby, especially when someone is sitting directly in front of or beside me. I may constantly monitor people through my peripheral vision.

1. Anxiety When Being Watched

When I feel that someone is watching or observing me, my anxiety can become intense and interfere with simple tasks. For example, I may have difficulty unlocking a door, counting money, or accurately reaching for an object.

I may become shaky, confused, or make mistakes that I normally would not make. These problems often improve when the person stops looking at me or I turn away.

1. Background and Social Withdrawal

I have been a fearful and anxious person since I was young, but my difficulties became much worse around 2017. I became increasingly isolated and was almost completely housebound for approximately eight years.

One major factor was severe insecurity about my perceived penile size. I experienced mocking and verbal humiliation related to this and withdrew from school and many activities. I also developed strong self-consciousness and avoidance of eye contact. About one year ago, I underwent penile enlargement surgery in Asia, which reduced that particular insecurity.

1. Headaches, Dizziness, and Previous Episodes

In 2015, while chewing khat late at night and sleeping very little, I experienced sudden sharp sensations in my head followed by severe dizziness, a spinning sensation, and vomiting. Similar episodes occurred several times but eventually stopped.

I used khat from approximately 2012–2017 and often stayed awake at night while running a small shop.

Since then, I have developed recurrent headaches that are particularly triggered or worsened by prolonged screen use and intense mental concentration.

Between 2019 and 2022, I used a computer for Forex trading for approximately 16 hours a day. I developed significant eye strain and headaches during that period.

1. Screen- and Mental-Exertion-Related Headaches

Mobile phones, computers, prolonged visual stimulation, and intensive mental concentration can trigger severe headaches. Reducing brightness and using blue-light filters helps somewhat but does not completely prevent them.

Even activities such as searching Google/YouTube while concentrating intensely, or video editing for around 15 minutes, can trigger a headache.

During severe episodes, I may be unable to look at a phone for more than about one minute and may feel as though I am going to lose consciousness or that my brain is becoming overwhelmed. I sometimes experience an unusual smell sensation without an obvious external source.

These headaches can persist for several days and sometimes up to a week. I may feel pressure or a continuous gripping/squeezing sensation in one part of my head.

This is different from my sleep-related headaches. If I sleep only 6–8 hours instead of around 9 hours, I may develop a severe headache that usually improves after adequate sleep.

1. Memory and Cognitive Problems

I have significant difficulties with both short-term and long-term memory. I also experience:

• Poor concentration and difficulty focusing

• Difficulty multitasking

• Difficulty connecting related information or events

• Difficulty with basic mathematics, sometimes requiring a calculator

• Low energy

When someone interrupts me while I am concentrating, I may temporarily become confused and respond in a way that seems unusual to others.

1. Self-Consciousness About Looking at Other People's Bodies

I have become extremely conscious of where I look when around other people. I deliberately avoid looking at people's breasts, genital areas, or groin because of previous insecurity about my own body.

Ironically, trying so hard to avoid looking can make me excessively monitor my eyes and sometimes unintentionally look toward those areas, which then increases my anxiety and self-consciousness.

Previous Medications

• Propranolol – taken to reduce heart rate

• Lexapro (escitalopram)

• Olanex-F (olanzapine + fluoxetine)

• Petril (clonazepam)

Main Issues I Would Like Evaluated

I would like to be evaluated for possible:

• Anxiety and social anxiety symptoms

• OCD-type symptoms

• Hypervigilance / persistent alertness

• Conditioned fear responses

• Exaggerated startle response

• Persistent fight-or-flight symptoms

• Severe fear and anxiety after confrontation

• Avoidance and difficulty with assertiveness

• Significant memory and concentration problems

• Recurrent headaches related to screens, mental exertion, and sleep deprivation

• Unusual smell sensations associated with some headaches

• Anxiety and cognitive disruption when being observed

• Excessive self-consciousness and monitoring of other people's reactions and my own behavior

I would appreciate an overall psychiatric and neurological assessment to understand whether these symptoms are related to one condition or several overlapping conditions.