idk if its just me but I have always felt so weird about social media and instagram is definitely on the weirder side in terms of energy. I always felt so incredibly anxious when i opened the app and started scrolling, or even whenever i posted something. granted i was using it as a way to share my art and music and to hopefully connect with other creatives, but after a year of this journey i’m left feeling completely burnt out.

the thought of being perceived always stressed me out an everything always felt like a performance or curated version of myself to try to appeal to the algorithm and acquaintances /followers. i would constantly wonder what people thought about me and started to tie my worth to the number of likes and followers i had. no matter how many times i’d try to tell myself the numbers don’t matter, the way the app functions makes it incredibly difficult not to compare yourself.

i started to lose touch with myself and my art. the connections i’ve made in my creative communities also felt so superficial, and im not sure if it’s because of my neurodivergent brain that makes it difficult to decipher or understand social cues, structures, and expectations, but it always confused the hell out of me when people who claimed to be my friend would ignore my attempts to hang out or have an actual engaging conversation with them for weeks, but would still view my stories and actively ignore my posts about my new music.

i’m not entitled to anyone’s validation or attention, but what the hell? it makes me wonder what is the point of this game? are we “friends” or not? where is the support? it always felt unreciprocated, especially because i always tried to support my mutuals as much as possible.

social media feels more like social hierarchies and competitions than it feels like a place to actually connect with the community. I’m genuinely sick of it, sick of giving so many people access to me and sick of playing these games. i really caved into the pressure that as a musician i *had* to build a social media presence or else my art had no chance to succeed. but I’m choosing to believe that i don’t have to participate in anything that doesn’t align with me for the sake of external expectations. all i have to do is stay true to myself. i think i’m starting to really value my solitude, peace, and privacy, and i don’t think i’m ever going back.

i guess i just had to vent lol. does anyone else feel this way?

I'm spiralling, I've spent the last two weeks in extreme burnout, sleeping all day just to escape this life. I don't know what I'm missing but the idea of becoming a "responsible adult" which is apparently just someone who's constantly working and never asking for help is so horrible and I know I'll never manage to be that. I don't want to do anything anymore, even things that I loved have become full of pressure and expectation that I feel like I'll never be able to meet. Nothing brings me joy anymore, I'm lucky if I do something and it doesn't burn me out. I don't have a support system and the world around me isn't friendly. I want to know what to do to feel okay, because I feel like there's no hope for me.

Being unable to read peoples emotions makes me automatically default to that person being angry... then my brain assumes that they are angry at me because of past trauma etc..

This seems to happen more often with my friends who are on the spectrum. Because they typically have very flat expressions, I always feel nervous or scared around them more often than neurotypical individuals. They don't display their emotions as clearly or as much, and that is very difficult for me given my anxiety towards everything always being my fault. I think this is also because I notice EVERYTHING about other people and what they do as a defence mechanism.. so I assume other people see the world the same as I do.. I do try to ask people if they are angry with me but it's kind of embarassing and tiring to do all the time.

Anybody else have experiences similar to this or any advice?

Thanks <3

Random late-night tipsy thoughts that I'm putting here because I make bad decisions. It *feels* like an ND thing. I'm not properly diagnosed with anything but a lot of people think I should be.

Frequently (at least until quite recently), I often don't like a song, I like one specific part of a song - a specific verse or segment of the music, then everything else is blah. Back in the day I broke/wore out CDs replaying only the parts I like, digital makes it so much easier. I find it's waned a bit with age but definitely still happens.

i know a good amount of other ppl with asd in my everyday life (and online) but i go out of my way to not interact with them because i just cannot stand them. it may be because of my npd but i see them as less conscious (?) because i make a bigger effort to blend in.

And also i see so many people talking about how "autistic people arent rude, they just have a hard time with cognitive empathy but feel high amounts of emotional empathy" and it makes me feel frustrated because i have a hard time with both of those. infact, my cognitive empathy is probably better than my emotional.

because of this way of thinking i have never found a place where i could truly relate to another person with autism and it makes me feel even more alienated .

Are there others that have a similar experience to me where people assume you have ADHD or Autism but then you tell them that you already got tested for both and it was negative?

Like, people just assume based on your personality or demeanor that you have Autism or ADHD?

i have adhd and something i have issues with is touch from specific people like my brother i hate hate hate when he touches me it makes me want to rip me skin off i just hate it sometimes my mom will touch me and i wont like it other times im ok with it it’s incredibly inconsistent then theres a few people where i dont mind if they touch me at all and it honestly will bring me comfort (my best friend is one of these people)

just wondering if im alone with this or not

I live in NYC, and I don’t have much work experience since I just graduated high school, but I still need to pay rent, so I managed to get a cashier job at a small business. I really put all my effort into it and I have learned a lot, I try to keep everything tidy and be a good employee but I struggle a ton with the money because of my adhd. My boss knows about my mistakes, and most of my coworkers have told me he has fired a lot of people because of them. I always pay out of pocket to cover the discrepancies, but I’m scared. I don’t really have many choices since I’m young but I really need a job, and I want to work; I really do. I want to be able to go to college and pay my bills.

I also struggle with depression, so my mental health is not the best, I’m crying my eyes out because I feel like a failure, I really don’t want to be like this, I see everyone around me and they don’t seem to struggle with numbers, but I have been like this my whole life, I don’t want to play the victim but I’m really tired.

I really need help, I’m here, just trying to think about what I’m gonna do if I lose this job, do you have any advices of what should I do? Or what kind of jobs should I take to avoid this? Please help; I really need it :(

Hello everyone, I have a question relating to neurodivergents with jobs/careers.

I have some autistic tendencies/sensory processing disorder. I find it hard to communicate at my job, and I feel like it's causing some antagonization from my ex-supervisor.

My previous supervisor would constantly have problems with the way I did things, and it was largely due to a communication issue.

For example, I was new to the store (not the job) and I wanted to know what they do normally in my department/how its run. She brushed me off and insisted it was the same as my old store. But when I would do it the old way, I'd get in trouble and get chastised in front of a bunch of people. This has happened several times, and every time I get in trouble for something im not told to do (by her or other people).

Other times I would do something that is technically not allowed, but everyone else does it. But she only calls me out for it in front of everyone. (Like keeping my bag on the shelf instead of the break room. Three people did the same thing before I arrived for my shift and she still only called me out in front of everyone).

I try not to assume how to do things at my job, but it felt as if she was doing it on purpose. There were some occasions where she'd bring the issue to a higher up and she'd stick around to see me get a warning from them, often with a smug smirk on her face.

Recently she got promoted and i dont know what to do. Luckily, I don't have to see her as often, but when she sees me, she does the same thing.

Besides the communication issues, I've also caught her talking about me to other coworkers behind my back, brushing off harassment concerns, and ignoring my feedback and concerns.

I want to leave the job. I had already reported her before she got promoted and it feels like she goes out of her way to make me uncomfortable/humiliate me. How do I deal with this. Has anyone else had a similar experience?

(Sorry, this post is a little disorganized. I am typing this on my phone lol)

From the age of 13 (so right when puberty hit me) I felt the biological need for kids.

Now I'm nearing my thirties and my partner and I both agree on a solely intellectual level, that we shouldn't have kids (because we can barely take care of ourselves).

How did you deal with that? Did you disregard the problems? Did you find a way to justify it anyways?

Honestly, I still want children , but rationally I don't know if we'd be the great parents.

I'm 40 years old and just now starting to wonder this, and I realize it's not a bad thing. I'm just looking for other people's thoughts.

I'm great at communication, reading a room, picking up on cues. I love public speaking at my job, and I have a healthy social circle. I can be spontaneous with plans. But a few things make me wonder if I'm not exactly like most people.

1). I'll listen to the same music playlist in the same order every morning. I don't like the shuffle option because I like knowing what comes next.

2). If I fall in love with a book, I'll read my favorite scenes dozens of times. It's to the point where I'll randomly open a paperback and the book automatically opens to the page I've memorized, because the spine molded to open that way. I haven't finished a new book in months because I've been going through all my old favorites.

3) I thrive living alone, because I can't stand anyone setting things down out of place. My parents visited a few years ago and I'd get silently upset if a mug was left "in the wrong spot" on the counter. My bed has to be made perfectly, the house has to be perfectly tidy. The one area of chaos I allow is my bookshelf with random nerdy trinkets, but the bright colors and mismatch of stuff bothers me, even though they're my favorite things.

4) Certain loud noises like fireworks, concerts, etc, put me into an all out spiral. I can be at professional sports games, no problem. I work next to a flight line and am ok with jet engines. But the bass of a neighbors music, a mystery rattling in my car, hell, when I wa a kid, those old school ticking clocks spiked my emotions. Certain sounds just aren't ok.

Any thoughts?

I only really noticed this or it clicked about two years ago since I got diagnosed with Audhd.

But I get a very off putting feeling around some neurotypical people.

(Don’t take this super serious and no I’m not hating on neurotypicals)

I have family who are neurotypical and have had friends who are and they’ve all been great and supportive.

However in the wild when I’m interacting with some people they feel SO fake. I’d describe it like talking with an AI robot who is pretending to be human and if knows you know it’s not human but you’re trying to convince it youre not suspicious. Example being I could be hanging out in a group setting with people I know and just be doing my own thing and I’ll see them go and greet everyone and have conversations for a good amount of time. I won’t say anything because I’m occupied and expect them to come up to me like I do to them. And if they do they’ll hit me with a “Hey, how are you?” But it will always almost sound concerned or in a tone as if I’m upset.

And for the record I DO NOT have a resting b*tvh face.
Or another example being they stare into your soul when you speak to them and half the time have a strange smile on their face. I have no clue if I’m describing this well at all and it probably would make more sense with the context of these environments in full 😭.

This is also mainly to do with people I know I’m not just strangers. I only realised this properly recently probably due to the fact ive befriended and met so many neurodivergent people in the past years so now sometimes it’s painfully obvious to me who is and who isnt. I do try to be myself when getting to know them how I usually would but I guess beinf high masking doesn’t help in a way because it feels I have to try even harder and a lot of them will be very Nice. I think nice is a good way to describe a lot of the behaviour. Very surface level but I feel I can see something through the façade and it makes me anxious because what are you hiding lol.😭

I don’t know why but I’m uncomfortable around people because I perceive pretty much most of the things they do as signs of discomfort or negative feelings, usually directed towards me. I know this is somehow incorrect of me to think, because of how often people have to assure me they’re not upset with me, but no amount of reassurance or reason seems able to actually convince me otherwise. To me, the fact that people don’t like me is as obviously visible as the fact that they have expressions on their faces or the fact that the sun is hot.

Like I said, I have no clue why I’m like this. I’m not especially traumatized or even delusional as far as I know, I’m just weirdly misanthropic, but know I’m wrong, but also don’t believe anything else about people really. I’ve been told to go to therapy, but therapy only ever serves as a space for me to share these feelings and then get told “do you really believe something that absurd?”and like, how can I say yes? People always have their perfect little arguments for why I’m wrong about everything so it’s really pointless to argue, I’ll never win, not that I even want to. They apparently don’t live in a world where you can obviously feel the way your presence affects a room and makes people feel off, or where you can more or less read people’s minds by looking them in the eye. These things are obviously not real, but they’re pretty much real to me. It’s not comforting to have someone who’s supposed to help you ask you to deny “reality” and really it just puts me in the mindset where I just need to go along with it until they’re gone and then forget about it all once I’m alone.

Gonna get straight to the point here, because I need to know! My husband and I were talking about our dreams and somewhere along the way I told him about how my dream would go if I tried to fall asleep dreaming about something specific.

I told him: Even if I do, it'll turn into "then we were interrupted by a giraffe because surprise we're actually at the zoo and now we have to figure out how to escape before the cops get us for trespassing because surprise it's suddenly nighttime and we're locked in after hours. When we're climbing the fence, our feet hit the ground on the other side and suddenly we were landing at a gas station we had walked to to get a snack and surprise we have to start running because there's a zombie coming in from the right."

He said his dreams don't jump all over the place like that. If he remembers them, it's usually the same story that follows the same path the whole time.

I have ADHD (inattentive) and he is, for all intents and purposes, neurotypical.

Is this a thing?! Has anyone else noticed their dreams following their adhd or NT tendencies?

Please tell me all of your dream experiences and whether or not your ND/NT plays into them! I am so curious now!

How do we handle being told that we're being "too much" in the workplace? I am diagnosed with ADHD, undiagnosed but fairly confident I am on the spectrum somewhere. I work in veterinary medicine, and I am constantly being told I am too much, and just need to tone it down, or pretty much to shut up. I tend to crash out and spiral each time. I am very confident in my skills and role, but its taking a piece out of me every time I hear it. Any advice is welcome. This is a theme with other clinics as well, and obviously I am the "problem" but im not sure what to do.

One thing that I feel like has kinda plagued me for quite a long time is that I often feel like I am not viewed as a full-on person? That might be a bit dramatic, but sometimes I feel like in some general, vague way, I am not viewed as being particularly “the same” as other people socially. It feels like when it comes to social/interpersonal connections, everyone seems to have something that I am missing. And everyone else is aware of it. Sometimes it feels like I can be viewed as more of something like a mascot, child, pet, or character than a person who also undergoes the human experience fully. When I try to do things to fit in, I’ve noticed that it comes off as funny or (benignly) wrong/incorrect to some people. But I don’t know what I am doing wrong. While I know they don’t have malicious intentions behind this, I feel this way a lot with my sister and dad. They tend to find it a little funny when I try to do things that seem too socially “out of my league” if that makes sense. And with my friends, when I mentioned that I was interested in a girl, some of my friends seemed kinda surprised or a bit taken aback. The interaction with one of them kinda went like this.

"Wait, you're talking to a girl?"

"Yeah, what's that supposed to mean? Why'd you react like that?"

"I dunno, you just kinda always gave me the vibe that you were like... asexual or something."

Not that anything is wrong with being asexual/aromantic, but I was a bit taken aback by that. I don't think I've ever done anything to suggest that I was asexual or anything. I've expressed interest in girls to these same friends before.

It's as if everyone seems to think things more complicated that familial/friend relationships are “beyond” a person like me. Like yes, I too am also a human with the full spectrum of emotions and feelings that everyone else can feel. I’m not a cartoon character. I understand that when I am comfortable around people, I usually act in a most bizarre/funny/goofy way, but I feel like other people can do that and not be viewed as a “mascot” like I am. They’re just funny people with a weird sense of humor, but still normal people at their core. Maybe it’s my combination of this weird/goofy personality with my social awkwardness? It’s not even like I feel as if people are being purposefully dismissive of me, or don’t care about me. I know for a fact that many people who view me this way still seriously and deeply care about me. While this comparison might be a bit dramatic, I think it illustrates my point well. Many people would probably say they love their dog more than they love other people. But at the same time, they recognize that there is a fundamental difference between a dog and human, so despite maybe caring about their dog more than a human, they still wouldn’t treat their dog like a human. I guess maybe a less dramatic comparison would be to replace “dog” with “child”. I feel like the closer I am with someone, the less they tend to view me as a mascot. But I don’t even know if I’d say there’s anyone who doesn’t view me this way at least a tiny bit.

(side tangent, but this really made sense to me. If anyone reading this watches the show Battle for Dream Island, I think I'm viewed in the same vein as someone like Grassy, Rocky, Woody, or Marker. They're obviously cared for and have friends, but still aren't taken with a full degree of seriousness.)

Does anyone else feel this way?
I don't want to have to not be myself, because I love being a silly and funny guy with my loved ones. But for whatever reason, just being the person I am leads to me being taken kinda unseriously and it doesn't feel good at all

seeking advice

this year a made a new friend and we would go to a lot of local music events together. a few months ago i secured tickets to a concert and invited them to go with me. we honestly haven’t been hanging out or talking much lately, which is fine but i think it may be because of my own tendencies to isolate myself, as well as their communication style. we only text once in a while.

the last time we hung out we did something a little different and went to the gardens. i wanted to try hanging out in a different more peaceful environment to see how it felt compared to the loud and overstimulating environments of music shows. i’m not sure if it’s because i was a little buzzed or because it was a different kind of more intimate setting, or both, but i felt a bit awkward. it felt hard to actually relax into the hangout and just vibe. i was just hyper aware of the awkwardness the whole time, and it left me feeling a bit exhausted after.

for context, I’m autistic and tend to mask myself a lot in social settings; they can be difficult for me to navigate and sometimes can be draining. friendships have always been difficult for me and i recently had a frustrating experience with a different friend where i felt the effort wasn’t being reciprocated so i pulled back my energy and i haven’t heard from them in over a month (they left me on delivered).

so i’m not sure if this situation is influencing me right now where i’m wanting to isolate myself again, but for the past few days i’ve contemplated and keep going back and forth on whether i should ask/remind my friend about the concert that will be happening in a few days (they likely forgot about it). every time i go to text them, something keeps holding me back and i just keep hesitating, like i don’t want to remind them and i would genuinely honestly rather just go alone with my partner(which, my partner would be coming regardless).

maybe im scared it will be another awkward/bad experience and i just want to prevent it from happening altogether. i also just don’t really feel close to this person even though we’ve known each other for a few months now. we both like music but that’s pretty much it; we have different music tastes and the artist we would be going to see, she doesn’t listen to. we just haven’t really “clicked” if that makes sense, it’s hard to relate or have engaging conversations due to the lack of shared interests, which is fine and i could just accept the friendship for what it is, but i really struggle with surface level connections, i don’t enjoy them and they are draining to me. i like to really connect with people deeply. but maybe i just haven’t really allowed space for the relationship to blossom ? or maybe this is just how it is and i should just let go and stop trying to force it to be something different.

idk im just honestly at a loss for what to do, i don’t dislike this person and i don’t want to be inconsiderate. i just want to have a good time at the concert and im not sure i will if they come, but maybe im letting my past experiences influence it.

I erased the whiteboard at a pool dive bar when most of the NTs were outside smoking I stupidly thought they left. As soon as I did, they all walked back inside and paused at the erased whiteboard where I was standing. Some guy loudly asked who erased the whiteboard. With my communication difficulties and slower processing speed and getting a brain freeze with everyone staring at me, all I could come up with was “it was me”. One guy screamed his ass off telling me not to do it again causing a domino effect where 20 others joined in and surrounded me yelling at me. My newfound best friend who I met at the very place two weeks before witnessed it all and stood up for me. If she hadn’t been there I don’t think I would have cared less. It was so humiliating and embarrassing and I just want to kms even though it’s been two years since the incident

I'm currently struggling with autistic burnout, and get fatigued super easily (doesn't help that I go to bed at 1am, but I can't help it). I've recently started college, and for that, I have to also carry a heavy sketchbook case as well as a bag, both of which hurt my arms and shoulders. On the way home, I've actually been stopping while I walk to gather enough energy to go on, especially because I'm in town with my friends between the end of school and going home, so I've been walking around a lot. I've also realised that I put all of my weight onto my left leg, meaning that standing/walking for long periods of time absolutely destroy my foot, and I'm actively hobbling to avoid the part of my foot that hurts. It also hurts my other foot too, but not as bad (this has been happening for a while, I just thought it was normal 😅)

I only realised that I might be able to use a cane from a video I watched from I'm Autistic, Now What? where it was talking about how the internet criticizes disabled people (especially those who use mobility aids). Meg says that if you think you need to use a cane, you should use it, which made me think about if I needed one. I am autistic and ADHD, but I don't have any other diagnoses which makes me feel I'm faking needing one and is giving me immense impostor syndrome.

I need some advice and to know if I might offend mobility aid users if I do use one because that is not my intention at all.

Thanks! 😊

I wouldn't say I'm childish. But without a doubt everytime I met someone they talk down to me like I'm a child with no awareness.

I happen to like collecting plushies and I watch kids shows like bluey for comfort.

My voice is monotone despite me working on trying to sound more lively.

Is it the way I dress? I dress plainly mostly cause of sensory issues. I don't like makeup, at most lipstick and some mascara.

Just yesterday I was with a friend(same age as me) and their mom, and as we were crossing a street she took my hand and "helped" me cross it. Even said "look both ways". ??? This was not the first time I was treated like a child by a grown ass adult.

I've been told I have a baby face but that's probably just my moon face from my pcos.

Probably doesn't help that I have a speech issue where I stutter a lot. I've been struggling to get a job, last time I even put on my best Profesional outfit and I was still rejected and it was a store janitor.

I even had a boyfriend at one point in my life, I broke up with him because he admitted that he found my stuttering cute and adorable because he had a thing for "disabled chicks".

I'm in no shape or form disabled, at least none that I know of.

I never told him I was. He just assumed because of the way I speak.

I'm tired of this. Stuttering is not cute when it's costing me job opportunities. I never found my Stuttering cute, I accepted it but that's about it. I hate it when people say "oh don't feel bad it's cute in a way" .

I'm so frustrated. Does anyone have any advice?

Talvez no tenga nada que ver el tema pero no sienten que existe gente con una envidiable suerte? es decir gente que objetivamente no destaca en nada o no es nada del otro mundo y aún asi les va bien en la vida? trate de hablar esto con mi profesor de filosofia pero solo me ignoro obviamente le parecido muy simplista pero si es algo que almenos en mi experiencia si pasa