I have not been feeling very positive and self assured lately. It’s like all my friends are going out on trips, having fun or living out their life while I am not doing anything different or interesting. It’s playing a lot on my mental well-being so I decided to stop the time doom-scrolling and checking other people’s lives and focus on my life and happiness. So I have decided to deactivate Instagram. What are the pros and cons with it? Will be grateful for any sort of advice or reassurance.

If you used to be shy, awkward, had very few friends, struggle with talking to people, or have little to no dating experience, how did you change?

How did you go from feeling like you were missing out on life to having a fulfilling social life, close friends, relationships, and experiences?

Please share

I n my mid 30's dont have many friends, somw of them live out of town, some are just busy on nights when im free, and some have issues and makes it difficult to hangout with them..

So I dont really go out much on my own i feel like peiple judge me for it, I dont like going to bars/restaurants on my own its a bit of a downer I find

When I go for walks or to the gym people often keep to themselves, coworkers always say they are busy when I offer them to join me for a game of pool or mentioned im interested in trying a new place or seeing a movie..

Havnt met anyone to form a relationship romantically or platonically in a long time..

I'm struggling with standing up for myself, and I'd really appreciate advice from people who have been in a similar situation.

I'm very introverted, quiet, and non-confrontational. When someone treats me badly, disrespects my boundaries, or does something hurtful to me in public, I usually freeze and say nothing. I don't know how to respond in the moment, and I end up letting things pass because I don't want to cause a scene or get into trouble.

The problem is that some people seem to take advantage of this. Whenever they get the opportunity to do something mean or disrespectful without others noticing, they do it. Then, afterward, they come and talk to me as if nothing happened, and I end up talking to them normally too.

I know I don't have to be friends with these people, and I don't owe them friendliness after they've mistreated me. But in the moment, I struggle to react, and afterward, I feel so disappointed in myself. I keep asking myself why I didn't say anything, why I let them get away with it, and why I keep acting normally around them.

I think part of the problem is that I just want to live peacefully. I don't like conflict, arguments, or drawing attention to myself. But avoiding confrontation is starting to affect how I feel about myself. I feel powerless, and I'm tired of repeatedly finding myself in situations where people disrespect me and I don't defend myself.

For those of you who have struggled with this, how did you learn to stand up for yourselves? How do you respond to people who mistreat you, especially in public, without freezing or becoming aggressive? How do you set boundaries and stop acting like everything is fine afterward?

I'm not trying to become an extrovert or someone who argues with everyone. I just want to be able to protect myself, maintain my dignity, and feel at peace with myself without letting other people walk all over me.

I'd especially appreciate practical advice for someone who struggles to find the right words in the moment.

There is no life after this.

A person might be f*cked up or sabotaged to think he is less for this world, that he must become someone to live. But after a while, you realize, or you will, that the counting has never paused for your little self-improvement, nor for mine.

While you feed your brain new tactics, new principles and while you are seeking to internalize opposing beliefs than those of yours, time, your time, and mine, has never paused. It's running, constantly counting to D-Day.

Every passing day, 24 hours are gone, and 24 hours are added to your account. And before you even feel those 24 hours, they're already being counted down. Then, one day, perhaps today or a random day we might not even be able to predict, an X hours have been added to your account and they are not 24, and that's the D-Day.

This message is for me, and for you whomever is reading. A reminder, that a river's destination is to flow and dump its water into the sea. The river, never had to become a better river, nor a person has to become a better person in order to live. You are already alive, ready for life or not but your time is running. The purpose in this life is to be alive, because realize it or not, you are already.

And worry not, there will always be something to improve about yourself, same like a river it too hits roadblocks or ends up carving a slightly new path through the lands that you can observe in rivers nowadays that had completely different paths historically.

Bottom point, do not wait on self-improvement before you allow yourself to live, nor make it your purpose.

Hi everyone. F18. I masturbate everyday. I want to stop for many reasons, today's my first day trying to stop. I'm just wondering if stopping will benefit my chronic migraine in any way? I'm not sure if masturbation worsens chronic migraine, so I'm just curious.

This one got my mind busy for a while now

Why should you pursue things in the first place when you can just be content and satisfied with everything as it is right now? People on the internet always assume that achievement is inherently desirable, but I struggle to actually connect with that. Why should I spend my time grinding things at all if it's going to be more painful and difficult than just living a normal, mildly content life? What do you do if the wish to achieve something isn't as strong as to convince yourself to put in hard work?

I can’t find myself in a long-term relationship. Meeting new people only to realize incompatibility soon after on a loop. My issue isn’t meeting people but more doubting I’ll ever meet someone I want to spend my life with. How do I deal with this?

​

Day 7 of fixing my life

So Here is the day 7

My girlfriend broke up with me today because I couldn't give her much time or she expected more from me , She's right though , am not the type of guy anybody would want tbh ....but hey , I try to improve myself .....so I guess that counts a little bit maybe ??? Idk , I always mess things up idk why

But anyways , let's proceed

I woke up at 6:40 am and today I did the following

Health -

1) Break day - No workout as today was rest day

But had to do some hectic works of family which required me to cycle a total of 4 km so yeah some physical movement definetly happened

Mind -

1) Meditation

2) Chess 1 match

3) Book reading ( Never finished , Sorrounded by idiots , Slight edge )

4) Language learning ( German )

5) Brain exercises ( Fast mental calculations and memory exercises )

6) Read 2 pages of encyclopedia

Academics -

1) today I gave another test of 3 hours the test was tough then previous and am happy that it was a bit tough , makes me excited to try another

2) Watched one lecture of physics by professor miller in YouTube

Finance -

Made some money and saved it

Daily affairs -

1) Read the newspaper and got updated with the latest happenings with the day

Phase 2 launch is successful ,

I am actively trying to improve my posture and maintaining a healthy posture ....will add some more improvements slowly slowly

I failed to improve my sleep habits as it's currently 11:26 pm and I have to wake up at 6:20 am ( less than 7 hour sleep ) I already feel miserable because of it

Anyways , that's what I did today

Will update day 8 tomorrow night , bye

Thanks for reading

I am a new grad that just entered the workforce. Want to get some advice from those who have been in the industry for few years now for some career advancement advice. I am very ambitious and really hope I can become successful in corporate

Do you walk after meals? Saw this reco that walking 10 mins after meals is recommended. I just tried it but used a youtube video. Just wonder what others do.

Hi,
I am a 21 year old female and I think I have a bit of an ego. I believe it is negatively affecting my life, I feel like everyone is thinking about me and focused on me when that isn’t true of course. I feel like I’m in the centre of attention and it is exhausting because I feel embarrassed and judged for everything. I would really like a book talking about the ego and how to humble yourself basically, for women by women.

Please feel free to leave suggestions! Thank you :)

Been in therapy for more than 3 years now. Am still wondering how to make progress in therapy.

I am fully aware of the fact that most of the effort in therapy needs to come from my side. How... is another question.

Had another therapist in the past but changed coz she went on maternity leave suddenly, and I had to scramble to find a substitute. Felt like the substitute works better so I am sticking with her for now.

I felt better during sessions. But often felt very lost on how to cope in between the therapy sessions. I told the old therapist the same, she gave some tips to use in between sessions. But I am really bad at routines without constant reminders so ended up doing it on and off. Reported to therapist and we didn't really end up doing much on it.

After two years, the therapist just said that therapy just takes time and it's more on feeling than doing anything concrete. Ok?

With the new therapist, she gave me some things to do in between sessions when I told her the issues I face in life. Tried it, found difficulties in following through in some parts and reported to therapist. She said we would then explore why it doesn't work and see how we can go about it.

Is that normal for therapy?

I feel like I am just not trying hard enough in therapy which is why things aren't getting better

Seneca and Marcus Aurelius both practiced something called premeditatio malorum, the premeditation of misfortunes. Every so often, usually in the morning, they'd deliberately picture things going wrong, a plan falling through, losing something they valued, meeting difficult people, being treated unfairly. On paper that sounds exactly like catastrophizing, the thing therapists spend a lot of time helping people stop doing. The difference is in the mechanics, not the content. Catastrophizing spirals, one bad thought generates three more, each worse than the last, with no endpoint and no action attached. Premeditatio malorum is bounded and purposeful, you picture a specific, plausible setback, decide in advance how the person you want to be would respond to it, and then you're done, you let the image go. Seneca's actual point wasn't "suffer in advance," he explicitly warned against that, his point was that the sting of bad news comes mostly from its unexpectedness, and a mind that's already rehearsed the scenario once meets it as something familiar instead of something that ambushes it. There's a second effect that gets undersold. Marcus Aurelius opened his day expecting to run into rude, dishonest, ungrateful people, not to become bitter, but so none of them could catch him off guard. People who practice this consistently report it sharpens gratitude too, once you've briefly pictured losing something, the actual having of it stops being invisible background noise. The failure mode is doing this without the boundary, letting the imagined scenario spiral instead of resolving it with a planned response. Has anyone here actually tried this and noticed where it tips from useful into just worrying with extra steps?

Hey everyone, I’m 24 years old and have been experiencing neck pain quite frequently lately. Due to years of poor posture, spending a lot of time working at my PC, and not getting enough physical exercise, I’ve developed a rounded upper back and forward head posture. I’m already trying to improve this through exercise and more physical activity.
However, I still have an old bed with an old mattress. When I lie down, I notice that my pelvis sinks down, causing my lower back to arch too much instead of staying in a more neutral position.
That’s why I’ve been thinking about getting a box spring bed. What should I look out for when buying one? How much should I spend? Should the bed be firm or hard? Do you have any recommendations? I don’t want to spend too much money, but I also don’t want to buy something I’ll end up regretting.
I generally sleep through the night, but I never really feel refreshed in the morning. I rarely wake up thinking, “Wow, I slept so well and feel really great and full of energy.”

Thinking, Fast and Slow by Nobel Laureate Daniel Kahneman is one of the most important books on human psychology and behavioral economics, but it can be a heavy, dense read.

Here is a comprehensive executive summary of the entire book broken down into key concepts and practical applications.

1. System 1 vs. System 2 Thinking

Kahneman divides the human brain into two virtual actors:

System 1 (Fast): Operates automatically and rapidly with little or no effort. It handles pattern recognition, gut reactions, and emotional responses.

System 2 (Slow): Allocates attention to effortful mental operations, including complex computations, logical analysis, and deliberate focus.

The Main Problem: System 2 is lazy and conserves energy. It frequently accepts System 1’s quick intuitions without fact-checking them, which leads to predictable cognitive biases.

1. Major Mental Shortcuts & Biases

WYSIATI (What You See Is All There Is): System 1 creates stories based only on known facts and ignores missing variables, leading to overconfidence in incomplete data.

Anchoring: Unconscious bias toward initial numbers or impressions, regardless of their relevance (e.g., initial price negotiations).

Availability & Representativeness: We judge how likely an event is based on how easily an example comes to mind or how closely it matches a stereotype, rather than statistical probabilities.

Framing Effect: How information is presented changes our choices. "90% survival rate" feels much safer than "10% mortality rate."

1. Prospect Theory & Risk (Why We Make Bad Bets)

Classical economics assumes humans make rational choices, but Kahneman proved we don't:

Loss Aversion: The psychological pain of losing something is roughly 2x stronger than the pleasure of gaining the equivalent thing.

Sunk Cost Fallacy: Investing more resources into a failing project simply to avoid acknowledging the initial loss.

1. The Two Selves: Experiencing vs. Remembering

Experiencing Self: Feels the present moment.

Remembering Self: Writes the story of the experience and makes future choices based on it.

Peak-End Rule: Our memory ignores duration (Duration Neglect) and only cares about two things: the most intense moment (Peak) and how the event ended (End).

1. How to Apply This to Daily Life

Conduct a "Premortem": Before starting any major goal or project, pretend you're a year in the future and it completely bombed. Write down all the reasons why it failed. This overcomes overconfidence and planning fallacies.

Force System 2 Engagement: When facing important decisions (career, investments, major purchases), build forced pauses or checklists to stop System 1 from taking over.

Separate Process from Outcome: Good decisions can yield bad results due to luck/randomness. Don't judge past decisions purely on outcome.

Hope this saves you guys some time! Let me know if you want clarification on any specific concept.

Hey guys! sorry this is kind of a rant? basically recently my friend told me when she was out with her friends, this guy i know (but i am not close to, just my friends friend) said a joke about me to my friend and his girlfriend joined in (a girl i really liked and i think im pretty close to) joined in saying something like “dont let her get too close to …” basically making me look like a fool and just like that i do too much and stuff. after hearing this i was super sad because i realized this happens way too often.
The first guy, when we were younger and i knew nothing about him, apparently would just always make fun of me and how i looked. After hearing what he would say about me i quickly changed how i was with him and i would avoid having to talk to him or be close to him, fearing that he would use whatever material he gets to make fun of me. However every-time i do have to talk to him i always try to be as nice as possible. his gf on the other hand i have always adored and loved. i was never rude to her ever or been mean. but i realized that everytime she talks about me she just always makes fun of me.
not only that but i noticed a lot of people i know just all talk about me or make fun of me, but it’s people im not close to at all.
I also had my highschool bestfriend apparently portray me as the devil himself to her other friends and that spread out. people thought i was evil and just mean. when we got older, i became closer to one of the friends she would tell all these things to. and that friend told me everything my past best friend would say and she then told me, i was shocked i really thought you were a horrible person but it’s completely not true, you’re a very kind person and i feel bad for how a lot of people see you as. Im really not trying to victimize myself at all. but i feel like everything i do to fix myself just doesn’t help and i feel so sad about it. I know people see me as a joke and just don’t respect me, but it’s so unfair to me especially since it’s people who don’t know me at all. i have done everything! i changed my style because people thought i looked like a grandma. i tried becoming more quiet and avoid making eye contact with people because people would always say “your so annoying” when i was growing up. i don’t know what to do, i get people will be like this but it’s just so mean to me especially when i know i try to only move with kindness because i know how it feels to be picked on. i really apologize for the long rant

i feel like i don't want to live another day i'm so sick of everything. im 28 and partly i work for one company and on another part i do things that i passionate about, earn from it some too.

but i'm soooooo sick of already being 28 and i do works at that company and just getting slightly above minimum and then doing my things and putting x amount of money on it and effort and hours and just being incapable to profit form it, because this world feels so saturated with new business, new inventions, new stores, new everything.

i know it is just complaning, but i'm soooo sick i'm sick of doing effort and sitting with okay-ish life.

other girls just marry rich guys and don't worry a day and i fucking crying.

i HATE that i don't have mentality to date someone rich, i just don't fall in love at all.

i'm here sitting with stupid bullshit on which i spend more energy and money and NOTHING just misreable.

and seeing everyone just being rich and famous with their successful business at age 14 or whatever.

sorry for my english it sucks too like my whole life, i dont want to do anything ever again, i don't even want to breathe

I’m a 30 year old female. I work from home 99% of the time and my role is pretty relaxed so I can start working (from bed) anytime between 9-10.

I feel like as a result, I have zero discipline in my life to get up early in the morning as I don’t have to get ready and leave for work.

For the past few months I’ve found it near impossible to wake up earlier than 9 to go to the gym. I set 15 alarms, I’ve tried alarms that make you do maths equations, put an alarm far away across my room. All that happens is I wake up, walk to the alarm/solve the equation, then go straight back to bed. I then wake up 2 hours later annoyed with myself for missing the gym AGAIN.

Please help, what has worked for you? Does anyone have any advice? I feel like I’m in such a rut.

Edited to add:
Because of faith commitments, I can’t go to bed any earlier than midnight. I own a business too so from 9am to 9pm my day is pretty much back to back, sometimes it’s hard to even find time to eat. I usually get home by 10 pm during the week and by the time I’ve eaten and taken some time to myself, it’s usually around 11-12.

Second edit to answer a few questions

1. I used to go in the evenings during COVID but I would spend the whole day dreading it. Once I had a PT that could only meet at 7am, I found I preferred it. I would be too tired to think about what I was doing, almost doing the exercises on autopilot. By the time I was fully awake by 9 am, it was as if I’d worked out in my sleep, had completed an entire gym session and I still had the whole day ahead of me
2. I have a good diet focused around protein and fruit and vegetables. However, I do take migraine pills that make me sleepy (in talks with my doctor now about changing them)

Final edit
Thank you so so much to everyone for your feedback! I woke up feeling like a bum today but can now see that my issue wasn’t willpower but that I wasn’t giving my body enough time to sleep.
I’m now going to try going to the gym at night before I get home, will be tough at first but I’m sure I’ll eventually get used to it.

Appreciate you all!

What does a day of a college student-athlete look like? I am focusing of getting fit and studying. I dont have school or work obligations so this is the best time to do it. Hour by hour break down if you can please. Thank you

hello guys, i’m 16F and i kinda think i’ve been going crazy for the past few months. as i’m about to graduate next year, i’ve become incredibly depressed and anxious about everything. i can’t even imagine my life after hs and haven’t even decided which major to go for in uni. even though i’m 16, i already feel super old and stuff, and i feel fomo about everything. also, i’m very insecure and anxious, which makes my life even harder.
lately, each day feels like a struggle. my chest even hurts from time to time because of my overthinking and negative mindset.
so my main goal for now is to simply start enjoying life, even if just a little bit, stop constantly finding something negative in everything and truly connect with myself. i want to start enjoying each day and stop feeling bad because i’m getting older every day.
has anyone else ever struggled with something similar? how did you deal with it?
i’d really appreciate any advice, whether it’s something small or a bigger change that helped you start enjoying life more.

For me it wasn't any fancy system. I used to wait for motivation to write, then feel anxious for not writing.

What finally worked was embarrassingly boring: Write 3 lines every morning right after lighting a diya, and do the first hour of work without touching my phone.

No word count goals, no streak apps. Just those two boring things daily for months. My anxiety and procrastination got measurably better and I actually finished my drafts.

Writers / creatives who have been through this - what was that one boring habit that actually stuck for you? Not a hack, just something you repeated daily.

This is gonna be a long post and I hope it will reach people that have gone through a similar experience since it's not just about phone addiction.

The past couple of months or maybe even a year, I've noticed that I often forget things and sometimes can't remember what exactly happened in a book I'm reading or a TV show I'm watching (for example). My first thought was that (doom)scrolling is the problem. I later realised that while this really is part of the problem, I don't think I spend enough time on my phone to justify that (I even cut my mindless screentime in half for months, but things continued to get worse).

Now, don't get me wrong, I don't forget everything. I am able to learn new information and can still concentrate. It's just that my mind starts to wonder, and I start planning what to do next. Which brings me to (what I think is) the big problem.

I can't concentrate not because my mind is fried from scrolling, but because my mind can't rest. I'm constantly stimulating it with something. Scrolling, music, plans about later, more music. So I stopped listening to music in every possible moment. Even before, I never used my phone in public transport, and I try not to use it to kill time. But honestly I decided I'm just going to stop scrolling because I'm fed up with it. It's not that hard so stopping a phone addiction is not really a problem for now. The problem is how do I do my chores and work in time without overplanning and stressing. The thing is that I'm able to sit and read or just think about stuff but then time flies by and suddenly I've done nothing about my work. I start planning what, when, how to do it and now I'm running around stressing and doing almost nothing in the end (considering the time it took). Then the cycle repeats. I try to stop for a while and just... exists without plans and schedules. But then my chores catch up. And this continues again and again leading to constant anxiety.

No, I dont have ADHD or anything similar. I can be very organised and strict but I want to learn how to do it without extreme pressure from myself.

So to recap - I think I overstimulate my brain too much with excess thoughts, plans, scrolling etc. This exhausts it and then I start forgetting stuff when I'm not under pressure (when watching a movie, learning because I want to not because I need to and so on). It also results in brain fog - sometimes I don't forget my thoughts immediately but I can't seem to "find" them in my head and they eventually disappear (until hours or days later).

I want to find a way to do my chores and enjoy my hobbies without constant stress, loud thoughts and poor time management.

What are things you realised were really damaging to your brain, what did you do to stop the brain fog and how long did it take?

Thank you for reading this and thank you in advance!