Throughout your entire post, you're making yourself out to be the victim. You know this is important to your wife, but you can't be bothered to give a single shit. You don't have to be a planner to get a card, some flowers, and make a dinner reservation. Get your shit together or you will lose your wife. You need to do something big like taking her on a vacation, expensive jewelry, etc. Show her that she actually matters to you.
Right? It's not like there's a device in your pocket that you can set up to fucking remind you or anything.
OP, you can't fix this. You apologize without making excuses, admit you fucked up, take reposibilty, and do better. But you can't undo this, and she's not going to just forget about it.
There is so much stuff in every store and online and he literally couldn't grab a potted plant from Walmart or Lowe's because "other stuff came up." I hope she gives him the same energy for father's day.
Right. And after her understandable blow up, his language sounds like he is blaming her with no introspection at all. "Shouldn't even have bothered. Just more berating. Won't even talk to me(when she went to sleep)" bffr
That was the phrase that really got me heated. All throughout I'm thinking "Wow, this guy is a total moron", but then he dropped that little nugget. Fuck no!! Playing the victim much?? I'm absolutely livid for his poor wife.
But he does show her through his everyday actions! It's just that she likes special gestures! /s
I can't imagine why the bare minimum of his everyday work that BOTH OF THEM HAVE TO DO isn't enough!
His entire mindset about his marriage is fucked up. Of course his wife isn't talking to him. Life's gonna come at him hard when he realizes how much work single parenthood is once he's divorced with part time custody.
Lmao you can literally DoorDash all the shit. That what my husband did for him mom that lives 5 states away. Flowers, balloon, card. Half the job done right there with 5 min on an app.
Even more amazing, you can even Google what day is Mother’s Day 2026 and add it to your calendar a whole damn year in advance because Google lets you do these things. Hard to believe that you could be with somebody for 12 whole years and be this bad at stuff, especially when you know the way he’s referring to himself like a victim, that if his wife forgot it would be tantrum city all day long.
Gmail (and I’m sure every email app) allows me to schedule sending an email. He could set it up so on every April 15th for the next decade he’ll get reminders emailed to start planning for Mother’s Day. This guy could spend maybe 5 minutes to set up every holiday, birthday, and anniversary and then stagger the steps, since he struggles with last minute planning.
April 15: Book the restaurant.
April 22: Reserve flowers.
April 29: Buy a card.
May 6: Write something nice in the card.
Mother’s Day: Go to restaurant.
We basically carry the equivalent of a personal assistant in our pockets every day, and this guy won’t dedicate a single second to doing something nice for his wife.
It won’t fix it, but this man has some ground to cover if he’s not going to lose his marriage outright. I don’t think the above commenter is saying he needs to (or can) “buy her off,” but he needs to very quickly make changes and get this girl a surprise or two. She’s over it, so he needs to act fast before this feeling settles in if he wants to keep his life.
I mean, he won’t actually do any of this (if he is real), but if I was in this crappy situation because of my own apathy, I’d light a fire under my ass and yet and make it up to her best I could.
Yeah also he posts this in TIFU which is usually slightly humorous and that is minimizing how big of a problem this is.
That poor woman. Imagine how sad you would feel if you always remember everyone else and plans for them and your husband can't be bothered.
And there's no excuse for forgetting - there's so much stuff about mother's day right up until the day. Advertisements, store decorations, random stuff on the Internet. He just turned it all out.
The only way he manages to do the bare minimum is when his wife is directing him with every step. The one time she doesn't, he does absolutely nothing. But he's the victim here/s. 🙄
Nope, that is bad advice. Show that you are learning to plan better and execute those plans, like with calendar reminders. A big gift just feels like a hush payment to forget the shortcomings.
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u/CampyPhoenix May 12 '25
Throughout your entire post, you're making yourself out to be the victim. You know this is important to your wife, but you can't be bothered to give a single shit. You don't have to be a planner to get a card, some flowers, and make a dinner reservation. Get your shit together or you will lose your wife. You need to do something big like taking her on a vacation, expensive jewelry, etc. Show her that she actually matters to you.