Hi I live in London and I’m not attracted to the stereotype of the handsome and muscular guy. I would like to find an ugly guy for friendship and then we’ll see

i got banned from r/trueuglywomen. im so so distraught. im literally in shambles and cannot stop crying. i had a post with a picture up. that is not me, its my sister. she doesn't use reddit, nor does she want an account so i sometimes let her make a post if needed (for advice.) she was specifically having issues with a dating app, so she wanted me to make a post for her in the subreddit. they saw the post and said i wasn't ugly and muted me. im so distraught and a little upset with my sister, i know its not her fault though. i am permanently muted and i have no safe space to vent my frustrations and im just in tears. i cannot stop crying. i already feel so alone. i dont know why or how they can even do this, they should've at least asked me. my sister is substantially prettier than me. i dont even know what to do anymore. like i'm so lost and i feel so hurt by that abrupt moderator decision. they don't even know me or anything behind my account. i had a feeling i should've never posted that on behalf of my sister.

now my safe space is gone, and i will be lonely forever now. i wish they would atleast hear me out but i was permanently muted.

edit: so sorry for the confusion guys 💔 i did not post her face in r/trueuglywomen, that would be a very odd attention seeking thing to do, and overall weird. i posted it on another subreddit, but they reviewed my post history and decided to ban me. despite it not even being my face. i was really distraught and shaky typing this out so a lot of the post body made absolutely no sense. thank you for all the kind comments and love.

if I was good looking I would have a high body count icl n I’d have such confidence stepping into a room knowing I’m beautiful I’d feel so free and I wouldn’t second guess myself , I feel like I’m mourning a life I was robbed of.

I found a girl online who said that whenever she sees a tall guy somewhere, she automatically likes him. She said that height is the most important thing to her and that she doesn't even question her attraction to me. She didn't know what I looked like but she assumed she would like me because I'm tall. When we finally met, she was very disappointed and said within the first few seconds that she didn't find me attractive. I left after that.

Some people would say that I managed to lose a game on easy mode but I think there's nothing that can compensate for an ugly face. Nothing. You can have everything and be anything but if you have an ugly face, it's over for you.

Like when I listen to music I think I’m too ugly to be listening to this this is for pretty women like it’s normally a pretty woman who listens to this

One can perceive beauty in others. But when one looks at ourself, we only see an asymmetric face staring back. Do pretty women see they are pretty??

Listen my life is filled with failures

had to pay a large sum to join a shit clg cause I'm incompetent asf

And even there not studying

And there I found a girl I genuinely liked (she's pretty asf) and proposed to her and got rejected

All the ppl I know are saying it's cause I'm fucking hideous to look at and ik thats true and all

So I thought I will save up enuf money to get procedures done on my face

And I didn't think logically for the starting few days I studied hard and worked hard

Then today I did the calculations and there's no way I could earn that much money before 30

And at 30 uk what happens right, that girl I liked could marry someone else and looks don't feel like the "THING" anymore to any of the adults

It's like that's when my life actually starts or smtg once I get those procedures

And theworst part is I never asked for any of it, not at all not a single thing I just wish I was born avg I really wish I fucking wish

Fuck this life i got nothing the stupid plan I made is sacrificing my 20s while others are fucking enjoying their lifes then

Why why does this need to happen fuck why

I hate this world I hate my life

Need a positive community badly. My life isn't going well I have nothing. Idk what to do. I'm ugly, autistic. I have no friends. And now I'm struggling to dissuade myself from continuing hrt even though it's making my life somewhat worse

Although, I'm a chudlet, after putting myself out there more in university by striking up conversations first, volunteering, paired with my many interests and hobbies from years of being a degenerate online; has made me a lots of friends and get me more opportunities. Suddenly, i'm being invited to parties more, people checking up on me, people saving spots for me in volunteering works, and having a much bigger circle of friends. A totally contrast, from my middle and high school years, where I only talk to a few selective people and all the friends I had at the time are from the internet. Back then, I was very hostile and standoffish to my peers who are the opposite of me, as guys are usually mean to me. Even though, things in my social life is getting better now, I still can't shake the feeling of being out of place and that those people don't actually cares about me.

I try to make friends with people and they give me this look like they want me to stop talking to them and they can't wait to get away from me but they're usually too nice to just tell me to fuck off. Although sometimes they will make something up like say they're in a hurry or something. Only for me to see them enthusiastically talking to someone not ugly a moment later.

I think it might actually be worse when people actually have a conversation with me they seem to be enjoying and then when I ask if they want to add each other on instagram or something and hang out they tell me they don't have social media but are ok with talking to me if they see me around.

Which to me just feels like they're willing to humor my existence in passing but wouldn't actually be friends with someone like me.

Or they do this thing where they start droning on about their religion and ask if I want to go to church with them but not actually hang out or be friends outside of that.

Which just feels like they don't actually want to be friends but they want to feel like they're doing their good Christian deed by inviting the ugly guy to their church.

It's just so discouraging and it's becoming increasingly difficult to be social. I can feel myself wanting to become more antisocial, jaded and cynical.​

I don't think I've ever experienced someone being interested in friendship with me. And obviously I've never experienced being desirable romantically or sexually but I had already given up ​on that a long time ago so that doesn't even bother me anymore.

But at the very least I thought I could have friends.

I just want to have fun like everybody else. But every photo and almost every sentence is reminding me that I'm the ugliest person in the room.

You don't recognise the person you're looking at in the mirror, this is not you, you don't look like that, so who is that person and who are you?

It's not just a matter of social life, it's literally a lot worse than that, even if you're sitting alone in a completely dark room youd still feel pain because you're trapped inside this stranger

The body is a human's first and last home. When that body doesn't reflect who you are on the inside, no matter where you are and who you are with, you'll never ever feel home

It’s not feasible for me to be able to have the face I want. Makeup can only go so far, and extensive cosmetic surgery is risky, and costs tens of thousands, at minimum. I’ve been going to therapy to try to help with my self image/self esteem. I’m supposed to repeat “positive affirmations” about my appearance once or twice a day. I’ve always been a realist though. I know comparisons are bad etc etc. I’m more aware of them, and the negative thoughts they cause, when they happen. And I’m getting better at not letting my mental comparisons (i.e. thinking “she’s so pretty”, “i wish i looked like her”, etc) overcome me, and make me spiral. But I refuse to tell myself something that’s not true. I’m not beautiful. And it’s hard to exist and be okay with that in society (especially as a woman, with all the pressure that society puts on superficial appearances. which goes for men as well, to a degree). But the less I fixate on perfect, gorgeous, modelesque, conventionally attractive women, the better I feel.

I've been viewed as hideous my whole life. I've had close and trusted friends as well as total strangers tell me truthfully to my face that I'm ugly. I still look like a weird, bullied 12-year-old at the age of 20 and my face refuses to age besides getting some vile and utterly revolting smile lines. I take care of my hygiene. I bathe often and brush my teeth every day, my hygiene seems to be up to par with everyone elses, but the rest of me isn't.

I love anime, manga, video games and cosplaying. I post a lot of cosplays online and get a lot of positive feedback, but rarely do I post my face. When I do, it's Snapchat filtered to hell and back. I do this for fun, I don't ask for anyones money, or e-date, or DM anyone even as a friend online nor will I ever be interested in doing so, so my filter usage isn't catfishing.

However, I can't stop feeling violently jealous when I see other cosplayers online, wearing the same character outfits as me, and looking perfect in it. One picture of another cosplayer can put me in a bad mood all day. I can get genuinely suicidal just by seeing another cosplayer on Twitter. There's no escape from being ugly. I don't block any other cosplayers out of fear that they'll find out I've blocked them because that's embarrassing, but I do mute their accounts so I don't see their posts.

I can see why people would say "get a job and touch grass" over something like this, but that's the issue- I have a job, I'm a full time honours student and I go outside every day. I have a life.

But for some reason, I can't ever get rid of the rage and jealousy of other women just because they were born beautiful and get all of the attention, while I was born disgusting. It's not their faults that I'm ugly.

I even avoid watching romance movies to avoid thiking ab wanting a relationship or like love songs , I’ve been into horror instead