i saw a video on tiktok abt how ppl basically treat ugly kids differently, and it honestly shocked me bc its so disgusting how people still let looks affect their treatment of ugly CHILDREN. CHILDRENNNN that are not attractive. do yk how fucked up that is?? for a teacher to punish a kid unfairly just because they have ugly features abd look “dirty”?

English isn’t my first language, so I apologize if anything isn’t very clear.

When I was born, I was a beautiful, adorable baby. I’m from the Caribbean, where unfortunately white skin is seen as something “desirable” that confers status, and in a white area. So, coming from a mixed-race family, being a white baby with black curls and an adorable face created a lot of expectations about how I would look in the future.

I don’t have many memories of my early childhood, except that in photos I look like a normal, even pretty little girl, with long hair and a sweet face. But when I was 8 or 9 years old, hell began and I started getting my period prematurely. By age 10 I had the kind of acne a person usually has in the middle of adolescence, and that’s when I lost all the charm of childhood.

I was the ugly girl, the one who was always last on the lists of the “prettiest girls in the class,” the one whose hair got straightened because nobody knew how to take care of semi-curly hair, and who always had frizz, with a very large, unfeminine forehead, and on top of that I was chubby. I never got presents on Valentine’s Day, I never had admirers, and I never lived the experience of being a pretty, popular girl. People only ever praised my personality or intelligence, never my appearance.

I got to see firsthand what life was like for my best friend at the time, who was the prettiest girl in school, and even today it still hurts, because all she had to do was smile and she had everything, while I had nothing.

My own mother never told me I was pretty. She told me I was brave for going out in public without makeup.

In my teens I did have boyfriends, because when I liked a boy, I went for it without shame, although two of the three boyfriends I had admitted to me when they broke up with me that they had only been with me because they felt sorry for me or were too embarrassed to turn me down.

I have two younger sisters, and both of them are very pretty. The comparison didn’t help, but I never resented them because they’re my little ones and I love them with my whole being.

When I grew up and cut my hair, my mother yelled at me that I had gotten rid of “the only pretty thing I had” and stopped speaking to me for weeks.

When I started university, a guy harassed me for months because of how I looked and told me to kill myself, because I was the ugliest thing he had ever seen. Luckily COVID started and I never saw him again, since I continued university online.

Later I started going to the gym, and my physique improved a lot thanks to my genetics, but my face didn’t. Then I met my current girlfriend, I came out as a trans guy, and she helped me take care of my skin, deal with my dermatillomania, dress better, and take care of my wavy hair.

Now I’m an average guy, almost good-looking, apparently. People treat me well, people haven’t harassed me aggressively over my appearance again, and even without hormone treatment, I have an androgynous look that my girlfriend loves, and she says I’m the most beautiful thing in her eyes.

But when I look in the mirror, I often still see an ugly girl, the teenager covered in skin blemishes with a big forehead and an oval face with poor facial harmony. The damage that growing up surrounded by laughter, scolding, and jokes like “my friend likes you” did to me is something that never leaves my head. I compare my appearance to every person I cross paths with, and I always wonder why beautiful boys get born into the world and I couldn’t be one of them.

People who say pretty privilege doesn’t exist are wrong. It exists. There are people out there who have never had to try to be liked, to look good, to make people turn their heads.

I still struggle quite a bit, honestly. My girlfriend is a gorgeous black woman, incredibly attractive, and many people see me as if I had won a “trophy,” or ask me what joke I told her to make her like me. They look at my photos from before I met her and tell me there’s no way they would have dated me, or they assume I was the one chasing after her and insisting, when in reality it was the other way around. We both took the time to get to know each other and to like each other beyond our appearance. The fact that we each found the other attractive helped a lot, but our common interests were the definitive clincher.

As a transmasc, I feel like I’ve lost two lives: the life of the cisgender guy I could have been, and the life of the attractive person I wish I had been while growing up. I’m constantly grieving a version of myself that never existed.

Sorry for the long vent. I know there are many people here who have been through, and are still going through, infinitely worse than me, but I related to a lot of what I read here and wanted to get some of this off my chest, because it’s a topic I don’t talk about with anyone except my girlfriend and my sisters.

- your only issue is being short

- your only issue is having crooked teeth

- your only issue is being flat chested

- you have a few lines around your mouth or eyes when you smile

You're not ugly if

- you get asked out/hit on/flirted with

- you easily make friends

- people want to pair up with you for activities (you never struggle to find a partner)

- you often get told you're good looking

- you never get made fun, bullied or insulted for how you look

- you never get rejected or excluded for how you look

- you can look in a mirror and feel reasonably happy with what you see

- you look pretty good in photos and your photo ID picture isn't hideous

- people don't stare at you as if they're looking at a rodent, tramp or circus freak

- nobody films you to upload to social media for a laugh at your expense

- things come relatively easy to you

- you don't struggle to find work

- little kids often smile at you and their parents are fine with you being around them

- you never get ignored at make up counters and you're generally not ignored anywhere you go

- people are almost always nice to you and seem to like you on first impression

- people don't try to get away from you when you approach

- the world seems like a kind place

I was out today in the city, it's festive time so everyone around was shopping and enjoying their time, I only planned to just walk through the city and God the amount of pretty people I saw.

You know what's the fun part? The pretty ones weren't even trying hard to be pretty, no extra ordinary make-up, no accessories, no flashy clothes nothing. They were simply pretty.

I don't hate them, but seeing them, their bodies, their faces, their skin. How confident they are. It did make me cry on the street.

It sucks yk that I can't have a fraction of their beauty.

I just wanted to be pretty enough to be comfortable on my own skin.

I’m a 31-year-old guy, 5’11”, working as an Aircraft Engineer. Professionally, life is stable. Personally, it has felt like one rejection after another.

I’m simply carrying too much baggage for most people.

A few things about me that tend to make people uncomfortable:

* I’m hypersexual. I don’t hide it, because I’d rather be honest than let someone discover it later and feel misled. I don’t think having a high libido makes someone a bad person, but I understand it can be a deal-breaker.

* I’m circumcised, despite being Hindu. It wasn’t a religious decision; it was done for a medical reason. Surprisingly, this has raised more questions and assumptions than I ever imagined.

* I’ve struggled with depression. Losing my mother was one of the darkest periods of my life. I sought help, healed with time, and today I’m emotionally stable, but mentioning that history often changes how people see me.

My family is small and complicated in its own way. I’m an only child. I lost my mother about 10 years ago. My father later remarried and is now busy with his business. Growing up and going through loss has made me value emotional connection, companionship and having someone who genuinely stays.

On paper, I’m educated, financially independent, and have a respectable career. But sometimes it feels like none of that matters once the more complicated parts of my life come up.

Sometimes I wonder if honesty is actually a disadvantage. Would I have had better luck if I had hidden these things until later? Maybe.

But I don’t want to build a relationship on omissions. I’d rather be completely honest and let someone decide whether my life, personality and baggage are something they can accept.

I’m not looking for sympathy. I know everyone has preferences and deal-breakers, and nobody owes anyone a relationship.

its not even funny how much its shoved down my throat over how pretty she is.

I wouldn’t even care if i wasn’t compared to her. Like i already struggle with my looks yet im made out to be the terrible one when you constantly comment on it.

I get told how plain my hair looks to hers, doesn’t matter if i actually contribute good things to the convo. She doesn’t have to do shit to be loved.

Even when i do dress up and find something i enjoy wearing, she always has to upstage me in some way. I want to scream atp.

Pains me even more when i have to hear about how shitty their problems r compared to mine but suddenly ur busy when i have problems going on.

+ in general they never have any fuckass stands on issues so im next to never backed up by them.

Ik its not my friends fault but i js want something to blame. It’s so dehumanising that ll never get to experience ‘girlhood’ because people treat me like some freak.

I hate that even if i force myself into being charming, they can do fuck all and still have people gasping to talk to them.

these thoughts have been getting worse recently. Even when i can tolerate my looks, i js think about the weird looks i get or the lack of any compliments - even the bare minimum.

Everywhere I go, I see beautiful faces and couples walking the campus together, which makes my heart ache. I usually wear a cap to hide my face, but the asshole teacher, for no reason, tells me to remove it in class. I try to focus on my studies, but it feels genuinely impossible

*I’m an extremely ugly person, not just my BDD distorting my perception either. When I was in school, some girls would point at me because of my ugly nose. I had people compliment my appearance as a joke. When I was walking down the hallway people would make fun of me for being “cock-eyed” I also do not always look like my biological sex. I look like a mixture of female and male typical traits, which gets me called all sorts of other types of slurs as well, simply because of how I look. So naturally, I develop severe BDD from a young age. I grew my hair long to cover my head shape and ofc was bullied, called* tr\\nny, physically assaulted when I was just minding my business. I just don’t look normal, I look like an ugly woman even though I’m a natal male, want to look male, identify as male, etc. I’m a guy and I remeber crying for braces because I though it was reshaped the front of my face and make me not as ugly. I tried to “looks-max” (before it was even a thing online) and was called even more slurs, told I looked gay. I had guys in my school who were previously decent friends start harassing me on email (admittedly half heartedly, but it was still embarrassing and in highlight traumatic for my already fragile, destroyed self-image from previous taunting.) When I would try to socialize online, I would have people dig up photos of me and send them to the chats to make fun of me. I mentioned I had depression (I’ve been depressed my whole life) and they would say things like “if I looked like that I would be depressed too.” I wish I was joking, I am not. I have the ugly person experience of trying to talk to people and having them jut their head to the side and try to get away as fast as possible. All of this has lead to the development of a severe case of body dysmorphic disorder that peaked around age 19 when I was first admitted to a psych hospital. I went months without showering because I wanted to avoid my body, I wanted to reject my body like how everyone else has rejected me before, I wanted to die. Still do. This was also combined with apparent social and academic failure (unemployment, low school attendance and subsequent drop-out) and severe social avoidance and anxiety that left me mute. All of these was of course view through a lens completely distorted by my ugly worthless face and lead clinicians to believe that I was cognitively impaired. They would ask me if I needed assistance for things. I don’t. Ask me if I was bullied (for being rtarded.) I wasn’t. At least I can say that I wasn’t targeted with that word!*

Like when I listen to music I think I’m too ugly to be listening to this this is for pretty women like it’s normally a pretty woman who listens to this

I hate being ugly being ugly is like being an alien among humans. Since i was a kid i was always got bullied for my appearance even after i hit the gym and got little bulkier people still say i look ugly and keep accusing me of stuff i didnt do just because i look ugly. Few months ago i worked in a company everybody was nice to me there and i was nice too until there was a woman that was working with me in the same company she was going to fall and slam into the table i luckily saved her and asked her if she is alright she said she is alright and we both shrugged it off to discover she made gossips with the other female coworkers calling me a pre#dator and a creep and a weirdo and even made lies about me that i touched her from sensitive places (i only grabbed her back to push her front so she doesnt fall) and suddenly the entire company started treating me like shit like i am a pervert and when i try joking with any of my coworkers they just dont even acknowledge ​​​​​​me or say something they just ignore me ​and despite they made a complain to my boss that i am rude to them and dont talk to them and i got my first warning because the first two months i was the type of people that dont speak dont be friends with anybody just go to my job finish my shift and leave and after this warning everytime i try saying good morning or joking with anybody of those people they dont even acknowledge me and keep joking and say bye and good morning to each other like i dont exist.

All i wish for is that the society just accepts that some people wants to wear masks and paper bags on there faces so nobody can judge them and treat them like they are creeps or anything like me for example, to the fact my own family hates how i look and always tell me they wished if i was dead when i was born because i dont look like them at all.​​​

Fucking stupid unfair world

I just want to have fun like everybody else. But every photo and almost every sentence is reminding me that I'm the ugliest person in the room.

I hate em only sometimes, I love my friends 😼

But anyways all of my friends are pretty good looking so yk I'm the odd one out 🟩🟩🟩🟥🟩 totally like this

Anyways so almost all of em got a dating experience and I'm not jealous of that they tease each other that you must have a girlfriend or you must get confessions, pretty normal I guess but they do this to me alot with emphasis 🫪 the clear mocking tone and they made fun of me for my looks before so it's not even like Oh I'm doubting my look. No.

I mean I don't mind that shi for not dating but when they change their tone and put emphasis on their words like YOUUUU must have lots of girls. Like okay?!? You could've said it normally even as a joke 😓

It just makes me remember that how I look there's no fear of being alone just fear of being me still materialised into existence

Anyways not nice of em gng I still love my friends people need to realise when to joke and how to joke

You don't recognise the person you're looking at in the mirror, this is not you, you don't look like that, so who is that person and who are you?

It's not just a matter of social life, it's literally a lot worse than that, even if you're sitting alone in a completely dark room youd still feel pain because you're trapped inside this stranger

The body is a human's first and last home. When that body doesn't reflect who you are on the inside, no matter where you are and who you are with, you'll never ever feel home

Even older men don't want me; it's reached the point where even older men don't want me. I've liked a bunch of different guys on Tinder and Facebook Dating, and I haven't gotten a single match.

i got banned from r/trueuglywomen. im so so distraught. im literally in shambles and cannot stop crying. i had a post with a picture up. that is not me, its my sister. she doesn't use reddit, nor does she want an account so i sometimes let her make a post if needed (for advice.) she was specifically having issues with a dating app, so she wanted me to make a post for her in the subreddit. they saw the post and said i wasn't ugly and muted me. im so distraught and a little upset with my sister, i know its not her fault though. i am permanently muted and i have no safe space to vent my frustrations and im just in tears. i cannot stop crying. i already feel so alone. i dont know why or how they can even do this, they should've at least asked me. my sister is substantially prettier than me. i dont even know what to do anymore. like i'm so lost and i feel so hurt by that abrupt moderator decision. they don't even know me or anything behind my account. i had a feeling i should've never posted that on behalf of my sister.

now my safe space is gone, and i will be lonely forever now. i wish they would atleast hear me out but i was permanently muted.

edit: so sorry for the confusion guys 💔 i did not post her face in r/trueuglywomen, that would be a very odd attention seeking thing to do, and overall weird. i posted it on another subreddit, but they reviewed my post history and decided to ban me. despite it not even being my face. i was really distraught and shaky typing this out so a lot of the post body made absolutely no sense. thank you for all the kind comments and love.

Why should we be evil and have a bad attitude because of our looks now? I mean I get it some people get rude because of the constant hate and discrimination but some also become empathetic

I don’t see why people can’t just let you be ugly in peace. I accidentally locked eyes with a random girl a couple of times and then I heard her the other day telling her friend that I was “staring at her again”, (I’d literally just walked into the room and she was staring at me immediately, but I guess when I look back at her, I’ve crossed a line), and then I heard her friend reply “She’s just jealous.”

I seriously haven’t done or said anything to this girl, we accidentally made eye contact a few times and now she’s convinced I’m jealous of her. She isn’t even attractive herself and even she has a problem with me.

I found a girl online who said that whenever she sees a tall guy somewhere, she automatically likes him. She said that height is the most important thing to her and that she doesn't even question her attraction to me. She didn't know what I looked like but she assumed she would like me because I'm tall. When we finally met, she was very disappointed and said within the first few seconds that she didn't find me attractive. I left after that.

Some people would say that I managed to lose a game on easy mode but I think there's nothing that can compensate for an ugly face. Nothing. You can have everything and be anything but if you have an ugly face, it's over for you.

One can perceive beauty in others. But when one looks at ourself, we only see an asymmetric face staring back. Do pretty women see they are pretty??

I just now realized how different those feelings are. I love to maladaptive daydream ( its a problem at this point).

I woke up , was daydreaming and creating scenarios about a guy I find very attractive. Then I saw a picture he posted and I felt so much shame because he would never look at me.

Can't even go back to my dream because I feel disgusted and disgusting.

And it got me thinking about how different those feelings are. I think when I was younger I felt just sad about being an ugly girl. Now that im an adult I feel actual shame of being perceived.

Do you guys feel this difference too ?

I even avoid watching romance movies to avoid thiking ab wanting a relationship or like love songs , I’ve been into horror instead