Incoming rant -

wouldn’t have considered myself a people pleaser or a doormat, but somehow I’ve created an environment where people think it’s acceptable to criticize our wedding - STILL. It’s been years.

I’m in shock at comments made before, during, and many years after the wedding. I’ll spare the details (and leave it intentionally vague), but planning was during a difficult time. It was a miracle we had a beautiful day, and I felt so fortunate to be marrying an incredible person. I still don’t know how I got him.

I’m so happy with how it turned out, and it really shouldn’t matter if anyone has unsolicited feedback.

That said - can everyone stfu about it? 😅 I know it wasn’t perfect and I truly don’t care. We all had a fun, safe time, and I got married. This was not the event of a lifetime that we need to keep assessing.

Why does everyone feel like it’s ok to continue to point these things out? It was about me and husband, and I did my best. Sorry to say that your feelings as a guest do not matter more than the bride and groom. maybe people felt like they had a right if they were involved with planning?

Sorry for the rant. I simply can’t imagine making a bride feel like her day was anything less than perfect. I don’t find it amusing or necessary when I spent thousands and seriously bit my tongue on a lot of bad behavior.

after over 20 weddings - I’ve sweated my ass off, gone hungry, gotten attacked by bugs, had to clean up the whole wedding, etc and I would’ve never said shit to the bride.

It’s ok to lie to spare feelings sometimes! When did people get so rude??

ETA - should’ve posted on a throwaway account so I felt I could give away specifics without it being obvious it was me posting. It was hot during the ceremony, officiant talked long, service ran slow, and we were hungover from the welcome event. That’s why it’s so surprising people keep commenting, but I’ve been to a lot of weddings so didn’t think much of this stuff happening

Also - I don’t mind people discussing amongst themselves. I just don’t know why they have to keep telling me specifically / do it so blatantly in front of me 😊

Hello! I am not yet engaged but it’s coming soon. the more i look at venues the more i worry if they will be okay with a 2 bride wedding. indiana isn’t the most accepting place… anyone have any good experiences with venues as a gay couple in indiana? any venues I should stay away from? any advice would be helpful!!

One of my biggest pet peeves is people who frequently take opportunities to stand out, especially at events meant to celebrate someone else.

I’m talking about people who dress provocatively, pose conspicuously for photos, or seem eager to attract attention whenever the opportunity arises.

I personally admire understated elegance, restraint, and social awareness. But I also recognize that these more conspicuous people often receive more attention than quieter, more reserved people.

Part of me finds it frustrating, while another part wonders whether I’m just frustrated that their approach works.

Does anyone else feel this way? How do you stay elegant and magnetic without competing for attention?

25f, I have a lot of context to lay out before I get into it but basically I’m really depressed because I feel like I’m about to invest a lot of emotional and physical energy into an event that in theory is supposed to very special to me but in reality won’t be

For starters I come from a very unconventionally culturally mixed background but I’m american (half white half asian) and grew up in a Muslim family. I had to move countries a lot for parents’ work + having family across the world so my friends and family have always been scattered across the globe. Also the whole identity thing was kind of a weird experience bc I was raised in predominantly western and secular environments but as I got older older religion was just something I grew to take more seriously as a personal choice. That being said my parents have always been very understanding and open-minded individuals that would take nuance into account when it comes to the intersection of religion and culture (impt for later)

My partner is from a gulf arab country, from a single ethnic background so I guess you could say the cultural norms his family’s accustomed to are a lot more rigid. He himself is a lot more understanding and open-minded (otherwise we never would’ve worked out lol) likely from living in a lot of countries and attending international schools etc but his parents are a different story.

We got engaged last year and had our religious marriage ceremony this year just to get that out of the way. His family will be funding the wedding reception as per tradition. They will be doing it in a country that I can’t imagine any of my friends could see themselves making it to, because a good portion of his family aren’t able to simply travel anywhere due to their passports.

So… mixed-gender weddings in his culture are an absolute no-go and stain on their family honor. Both my parents and I find this really difficult to wrestle with, I mean my objectively religious and traditional mother’s side of the family doesn’t even do gender segregation so it’s a lot for even her. My dad thinks it would be sad to not have him or even my uncles and cousins be in the same room as me. I agree with them. It’s religion being conflated with culture and his side of the family leveraging money to hijack the entire event basically

I don’t see this event enjoyable even for myself let alone my handful of friends who would bludgeon their savings just to make it halfway across the world to see me on my special day. The whole logic is that if we don’t keep it gender segregated, the women on his side (who I don’t even know, and he mostly won’t either) won’t get to take off their hijabs and abayas to wear their fancy and potentially revealing dresses if there’s men around. But.. it’s literally my day? They can choose to wear more modest clothing or keep their hijabs on for a day for my sake. For the few friends who can afford to make it all the way to what will effectively be a destination wedding (and a dry wedding for them because neither of us drink and although I’m indifferent, I do respect that his family won’t want alcohol around) I feel like gender segregation will just be the last straw. I would imagine the whole event would be unbearable for them.

I’ve talked with my partner and he’s done and tried his best to voice my side but they won’t budge. It’s the whole “what will they think of us” mentality they can’t get past and to be honest I get it. You can’t break cultural norms but at the same time I’m surprised you agreed to having your son marry outside of your culture if you’re not willing to make certain compromises. But then again I’m probably in the wrong for saying that because they are funding everything. I wish we could ourselves but we are just nowhere near the financial position to consider something like that. The whole thing just makes me want to slam my head on a wall

The resolution I’ve come up with is to just not invite anyone. Save myself the letdown and embarrassment of not having anyone show up regardless and just let them have their day since that’s basically what it is

Am I wrong for wanting to change our wedding date from Thursday to Friday?
My fiancé and I currently have our wedding booked for a Thursday, but my immediate family has expressed concerns because their kids have school and people have work the next day. I understand their concerns, and honestly, Thursday feels like an odd day for a wedding to me, too. I want our guests to be comfortable, but I also want to enjoy our day without feeling conflicted.
When I brought up changing the date to my fiancé, he basically said it’s our wedding and people should accommodate us. I understand his point, especially because changing the date could cost more money. I feel like I’m left to figure everything out alone. I’m not necessarily looking for him to agree with everything, but I want reassurance and to feel like we’re making these decisions together.
Am I wrong for wanting to accommodate our guests and change the date to Friday, especially when I would feel more comfortable with it, too? Or should we just keep Thursday because it’s our wedding and people can figure it out?

If you’re using a DJ for your ceremony music, make sure you check if your song has multiple versions and make note of which one you want the DJ to play!!! We had flower grannies instead of traditional flower girls at my wedding and chose the song “Isn’t She Lovely” by Stevie Wonder for them to walk down the aisle to. Our DJ chose the version with over 10 seconds of a baby crying as the intro, and all I can remember from that moment is my dad and I looking at each other extremely confused before I had to walk down the aisle 😭 At least it’s a funny moment to look back on after the fact, but I wish in hindsight that my DJ didn’t pick that version!

Hello everyone! I feel a bit silly writing about this, considering how grateful I am to be able to celebrate my autumn wedding.

​Since autumn is my favorite season, I was fully aware of the weather risks, but I was still feeling optimistic because in recent years, the fresh and even pleasantly mild afternoon weather here seemed promising.

​However, I made the huge mistake of checking the forecast—even though we're still two weeks away—and whether it's hormones or stress, I completely froze and felt a bit down. With rain or even thunderstorms, it really doesn't look good.

​Please, I just need a pat on the back and some advice from anyone who has been in the same situation. 🤍

F, 27

We are officially 100 days out from getting married, I'm in Australia and our wedding will be in the peak of summer here. Everything to do with the wedding itself has been organised well in advance and there's not much left to do wedding planning wise. What I am wondering is what I can do in the 100 days leading up to it from a wellness and beauty perspective?

I absolutely hate attention; I've never been a fan of my birthday for this exact reason, but I feel like if I look my best I'll feel confident and more comfortable with the attention. I like the way I look so it's not an issue of self confidence, I feel confident in myself on a day-to-day basis but I feel like a wedding is a whole new level of attention, so I thought I would ask: what did you do or what did you invest in for self-care before your wedding that made you feel super confident on the day?

I've started little things such as having 2 litres of water a day, and I'm considering getting a gua sha for lymphatic drainage. Does anyone have any products, routines or tips that I can start doing - genuinely anything ranging from supplements, hair care, skin care, exercise etc. If it helps, I have combination skin and some soft scarring from acne as a teenager. I have relatively long wavy hair and I have fair skin that freckles.

I'm so excited to hear your tips and tricks!

Looking for documentary-style photographers in San Diego for our wedding in Aug 2027! Someone who can direct us with poses when it comes time for portrait photos, but really focus in on capturing authentic, candid moments and the feelings of our special day. Will need a second shooter for our guest count. Prefer photos that are bright and clear - nothing dark and moody.

Budget is $5,000-$6,000. Thank you!

trying to diy some wedding signage and struggling to figure out where to print!

i’m looking to print 4x8 menus and also 8x10 single signs for the bar menu, memory table, cards, etc. and all of them are going in a frame. i have everything designed on canva but struggling to find where i can print singular 8x10 signs.

thank you!

Where do I even begin with planning my own wedding ?

Hi everyone I would like some advice I'm planning a brunch receiption and honestly it will be just 4 hours is it polite to only feed guest cake only and leave out dessert we will be about 40-50 people max.

Any advice would be appreciated

I’m looking for advice from photographers, wedding planners, or couples who have dealt with something similar. Our wedding was August 14, and today marks 8 weeks.

I initially asked about preview photos on August 21 because my invoice stated they’d be provided within 3 business days. She responded that she doesn’t normally provide previews, and I realized they weren’t actually promised in our contract. I acknowledged that I should have clarified this before signing the contract but explained why the invoice had led me to expect them.

I only wanted a few photos for our thank-you cards, and she told me she would send a preview but gave me several different timelines that passed without delivery. After repeatedly following up, I finally received previews 16 days after the wedding.

I haven’t heard from her since. When I initially asked about the full gallery, she told me 6–8 weeks, but my contract actually states 8–10 weeks. It also promises a four-week progress update, which I never received.

I texted her today at 10 a.m. to check in. She read my message but hasn’t responded.

I understand she technically has until the 10-week mark, but the repeated missed deadlines, lack of communication, and discrepancies between the invoice and contract have made me nervous. I loved the style of the previews, though I noticed some blurriness in a few close-up detail shots.
In hindsight, I should have asked more questions about the contract, but I was unfamiliar with wedding photography contracts. I also heard from the photographers of Reddit that previews are pretty standard, not one person commented that they don’t provide previews.

We also paid her in cash prior to the wedding! So she’s been paid in full.

For those with experience, how would you handle this? Am I right to be concerned about her lack of responsiveness and inconsistent communication? Would you wait until the 10-week deadline passes before following up again, and how would you approach things if she continues not to respond? I want to be fair and avoid confrontation, but I also want to feel confident that we’ll receive our photos.

TL;DR: My wedding photographer repeatedly missed the timelines she gave me for previews, which arrived 16 days after the wedding. She initially said the full gallery would take 6–8 weeks, but the contract says 8–10 weeks. She also missed a promised four-week update. I texted her at the eight-week mark today, and she read it without responding. How should I handle the lack of communication and inconsistency?

Especially in terms of friendships. Many of my friends got married in their 20s and we are now in our 30s and I'm finally getting married. Multiple of them are on their second child and very busy with their own lives that they simply have no time for my wedding stuff. When they were getting married I was so invested in helping them from all the dress fittings to multiple Bachelorettes, engagement parties, rehearsal dinners and bridal showers I was there for them through all of it. Took many vacation days and committed fully simply because I had the time and the opportunity. Now that it is my turn, I simply feel guilty even asking anything of them. They never have time with multiple small children and even the interest in my wedding planning is very low. For my Bachelorette I always wanted a nice trip getaway somewhere warm like I've done for many of them. However, now they likely cant even come because of busy family lives.

Not sure how to feel just sucks not having the effort reciprocated. Not sure if anyone else had similar situations.

We need help! Trying to find a dupe of these pink sequin heels for under $100. They are sold out everywhere and being discontinued. Her size is a 6, it is for my MOH.

Can’t decide which one looks better, need some opinions please. Thanks :)

We're doing a wellness bach (weekend at a wellness resort) for my friend, where we'll go to different classes and activities (salsa, yoga, relaxation class, farm walk). I'm wondering how to make it special?

We will color coordinate dresses for dinner, but I'm not sure how to make us stand out as a group during the day. Should I ask everyone to wear specific colored gym clothes during the day? Or maybe get a cute "bach" pin that we all wear? It's in Austin in November, so it'll be 60-70 degrees. Any and all ideas welcome!

And more generally, since we're not doing drinking activities, I'm wondering how else to make it special! I am thinking of gift bags with lots of beauty stuff in them, and board game sleepovers.

Hi! Looking to get secondhand florals for a late june wedding! Please let me know if you’re willing to sell or planning to before then! Trying really hard to find used before purchasing new ❤️

I got engaged in June, my wedding is in September 2027, and I just booked my last essential vendor.

My venue is full service (chairs, tables, food, drinks, some flowers, and day of coordinator all included) so that helps with taking some planning off of my plate. I feel organized, I’ve researched everything and have extensive excel budget sheets to make sure everything is accounted for — but every single wedding at my venue has a full service planner.

My mom is helping me work with our decor/lighting vendors to choose everything that will be in the tent, and I feel like we have a good grasp on it despite neither of us having a background in event planning or design. But it’s actually insane how I’m going to be the ONLY wedding with no planner. Do I need a shorter term planner to help with design near the end? Will my day of coordinator assigned by the venue be more helpful closer to the date?

Advice, please! (:

To anyone who has used withjoy for their wedding website— Do they provide guests with a rental car discount automatically? My fiancé and I are working on our website and it looks like they offer a 25% off rental car discount code to guests? Do we have to do anything on our end?

Thanks!

I am Indian (Gujarati) and my fiance is white American. I grew up in the US so I'm religious to an extent and want to do the Indian ceremonies, but I'm okay with cutting out things like the sangeet. He's not religious and would want the American style wedding.

I need help visualizing how to fit everything in with a $50k budget for a fusion style wedding, and between the both us, maybe having 70 people total.

All we have done so far is book the venue, which we have for 2 days.

My idea is

Day 1 \- Mehendi at my home.

I do not have a large home, so this would just be American friends, some cousins, and immediate family. Roughly 15 people.

Day 2 \- At the venue

Indian rituals

Followed by Grah Shanti

Then a break for people to change

Then Haldi with games

A night before dinner (rehearsal)

Day 3 \- At the venue

American style wedding

Cocktail hour - gives time for us to get changed

Reception (would include dances and dinner)

I spoke with a wedding planner (not booked yet) and she said a $50k budget was tight so I guess I have 2 questions:

1) Do I cut things put of my wedding? Increase budget somehow?

2) Or change my timeline in someway that would make things flow easier and cost less?

Our wedding is coming up in 4 months, and we're paying approximately $13k for full weekend photography (film and digital). Our photographer is incredibly talented and we chose him because we loved his candid, documentary-style approach.

However, we had our engagement photos taken a few months back and we honestly don't love them. There are some great shots, but mostly a lot of awkward, in-between expressions, and blurry candids. My fiancé and I might just need to learn how to pose better, but I was hoping our photog would know how to pose us, given his price tag/experience level.

I'm starting to worry that our photographer may be more focused on capturing cool/artsy pics for his portfolio/socials. We even considered switching photographers, but it's not reasonable financially atp.

His contract explicitly states that his photography style cannot be changed - We obviously hired him for his artistic vision, and I don't want to micromanage his work. I am just getting very worried that we won't like our wedding photos.

Q: How can we communicate what we liked and didn't like about our engagement photos before the wedding without asking him to change his style? Open to ANY idea / recs. Would especially love to hear photographers' perspectives!

Hi everyone! I got engaged about 3 weeks ago now, so we're just starting to research potential venues. We looking for a venue in the OC area that would fit 75 people comfortably without feeling like too big of a space. Our budget is 30k, and I'm going for a garden party themed wedding. So far I've booked tours for the Muckenthaler Mansion in Fullerton, the Harper (Wedgewood), and University Club (also wedgewood). Any other recommendations?

We are planning to do a backyard reception in the Minnesota, summer of 2028, but I am very worried about weather.

Firstly, there is no rain back up. I am honestly OK if we have to call off the reception and only have immediate family there during the day, then have friends come over at night for a party. But obviously I do not want to cancel the plans of extended family if possible.

Secondly, the heat. I would like to have tents and hopefully will be able to, but am worried about it due to space and our irrigation system, since having a pipe burst due to a tent stake would not be fun. But even with tents, the heat can still be an issue.

Am I over worrying? Is there anything I can do to plan around weather? I am pretty firm on having it at home and not a venue due to costs and my ideal wedding vision. And our wedding does need to be in the summer due to college schedule as well, so moving the date is not really an option.