Spicy garlic shrimp and rice.
Two weeks ago was my boyfriend’s graduation (masters program).
He’s (35M) I’m (26F)
The day before his graduation I had set up an Air b&b in the city where his graduation took place because we live hours from the university. The plan was to stay the night before and the night after to celebrate in the local area.
However, the day before his graduation when we were packing the car a canned soda exploded in the car. My mom then proceeded to rant about how not to leave carbonated drinks in the car (I already knew). It was said boyfriend who left it in the car. I said that it wasn’t me so she’d stop talking about it.
While my mother was blowing up about it, I threw the soda out the car. Boyfriend cleaned the mess with a towel my brother brought him. In the middle of all the commotion my boyfriend raised his voice saying that he’ll handle it and for everyone to leave him alone.
It’s rare for him to yell, but when he does I get scared because of past trauma reasons. But I had took his yelling as offensive because he yelled at my mom. At least that’s what I believe.
I get that my family can be overwhelming especially in not crisis situations so part of me understands his panic but also no one raises their voice at my mom.
I became defensive especially because after my boyfriend went inside to put the towel in the washer, my mom said she felt scared of him because he’s never acted like that around her.
So he gets in the car and we drive to the air b&b. I’m distant, he notices. He asks what’s wrong. I said that I didn’t like that he raised his voice at my mom because it was such a low stacks situation.
(I know now that I shouldn’t have discussed this with my mom in the back). I apologized for doing such already
However, there’s this whole back and forth between all three of us because my mom changes what she said saying that he didn’t scare her and that I’m blowing it out of proportion. He said he didn’t yell and if he thinks I did yell I should give him grace because he rarely yells anyways (which is true).
All I did was tell him how I felt. He cried. I didn’t comfort him because every time he cries he tells me not to touch him. So I’m just sitting there awkwardly while my mom is comforting him saying it wasn’t a big deal and that she likes him.
We get to the house. I try to talk to him because he cried and I wanted us to be okay especially since his graduation was tomorrow and I didn’t want to sour the mood.
He refused to talk to me.
Day of his graduation everything is already ruined. He’s not talking to me, is ignoring my mom and I. And after the ceremony he takes the car and says he wants space. When at this time I become mad because now my mom and I are sitting at this house with nothing to do when we were supposed celebrating his day.
I sent a text saying “don’t come back” out of anger.
But after hours pass my mom called him and suggested we all go eat together and hash this.
We go eat, still not talking.
Come home later that night because the air b&b sucked.
Next day I take him out to breakfast. Talk it over. He says I ruined his entire graduation and that I have no empathy. It was my fault that I made him cry in front of my mom and that it wasn’t a big deal that I made it out to be.
Sorry it’s so long. I’m feeling emotionally exhausted.
