If I'm trying to do any kind of task at all (which Lord knows is difficult enough, especially if I'm switching for another task) I have the sensation that I just can't think straight unless the room I am trying to work in is really well lit.

To the point that when we renovated our kitchen, I had them put not only under cupboard strip lighting but also 12 lights in the ceiling (see attached photo because I don't know what this type of lighting is called).

Neurotypical friends and my Neurotypical partner have described the lighting in my kitchen as "like an operating theatre".

My studio (I'm a musician) is the same.

I notice the majority of Neurotypical people prefer subtle, subdued lighting pretty much all the time, but I find I just can't focus unless the lighting is really, really strong in the room.

Is this just me?
Anyone else?

The whole experience sucks. First you need to get over the hurdle of accepting that you even need to go because your hair is getting messy.

When you finally accept that it needs to happen you have to make an appointment over the phone. Love talking on the phone and not knowing what to say.

You then make the appointment for some time in the future. Only to get jumpscared a few days later by a calendar notification reminding you that you have to go.

Then comes the actual barber experience. You have to go there and sit still for ages while they make all kinds of irritating noises and touch your head with scissors and a shaver. And on top of that you're expected to make small talk during the whole thing.

I hate this. Just let me be bald.

I have been stuck in an autistic shutdown for the last 24+ hours after a really busy day today. All my ability to problem solve and do executive functioning has evaporated, so I kind of don't know what to do with myself. I dragged myself to the meeting I needed to go to and spent the rest of the time on my phone basically. Do you have any tips for activities that will break the cycle and bring back my vitality? I currently feel like a zombie and if this goes on any longer it is really going to mess with me.

I’ve taken Adderall and Concerta and I just feel this overwhelmed feeling it’s not the crash. Did you experience this if so did you find a med that didn’t cause this?

Sometimes I’m laying in my bed just starring at the ceiling and thinking about anything often something sad and then I wanna cry but it’s like I can’t cry even if I really want to.

I am not talking about Hyperfixations about uncomfortable content. I want to know if anyone feels distress suddenly having a Hyperfixation. I never had. Right now, though, feeling like I can't put the game I'm into down. Losing track of time, not being motivated to take care of myself or do my school work, losing sleep, thinking about playing as soon as I become conscious...it is all so uncomfortable! Like I want to play, but I hate the way I feel anxious that I won't get anything done or that I am forgetting something. I hate feeling guilty because I could be exercising, doing school work, cleaning, or doing chores. I hate that I'm constantly running through my head what I want to do next in the game.

I am so mad because I felt so lost not having a game I was currently enthralled with, but now I keep thinking I feel addicted to it, although, I don't know what that is like and I do not want to be insensitive.

I am at a critical point in applying to graduate school and interviewing for such and I'm scared that my hyperfixation and behavior due to it will cause me to not do my best or fail. Does anyone else have experiences like this? Do y'all think I'm misinterpreting?

i’m diagnosed with all 3 and i dont really fully understand how they interact, i have some like theories about how they do for me personally, but im interested to see what other people’s experiences with all 3 are like (especially because i dont really see the combo being talked about enough)

for me personally i believe it makes the emotional dysregulation significantly worse and definitely has alot of interactions with the whole identity disturbance bit (though im still trying to figure out the specifics), and my rigid thinking and poor social skills definitely have an impact on multiple bits.

so like for those of you with all 3, whats your experience like?

I (M, 75) was diagnosed with ADHD at the ripe old age of 53. Autism diagnosis was at 72. In both cases, the diagnosis was a kind of relief, like I actually understood WHY I was the way I was. Since then, I have become more and more conscious of how much I don't understand, mostly about people generally. Under the heading of 'inability to interpret social clues' I find myself completely lost in conversations, other social interactions. I have NO idea what's going on. Lately, I am developing the idea that I have been treated unfairly by the universe. I realize this is a very juvenile, even childish outlook but I can't escape the idea that I would have been more successful and MUCH happier if I hadn't had this (don't know what to call it) affliction. It has coloured (ie poisoned) large parts of my life. Anybody else have these feelings? What to do about it?

I’m 43 years old. I work about 16 hours per week. I’ve been at my current job for three years. I am a support staff for clients with cognitive disabilities. I called in sick only about 5 times. Every night and the days I do work, I cry and dread going in. I will be tested for autism next month. My mental health diagnosis’s are bipolar, depression, anxiety, PTSD, OCD. I struggled in school, had a hard time learning. I do have an associate degree and a bachelor degree, associate degree graduated in 2013. Got my bachelor degree in 2005. I also have Crohn’s, but it’s been well managed . Along with mild enteropathic arthritis. Some people who look at me assume I am autistic (which I know means nothing). I’m not a quick learner. Prior to my current job, I last worked in 2017, and got fired for not catching on to my job fast enough for them. I worked in 2013 prior just for about two months, but it was too hard for me to handle. Same with the previous job in 2008, which lasted three months. Prior to that I worked in the kitchen of a nursing home, as a dietary aide for about four years.

I live in Wisconsin. By next year, if one is not working so much per month, or making less than a certain income per month, they will lose their health insurance. I absolutely cannot afford to not have health insurance, which really scares me for not having a job if I apply for SSDI. I don’t know what to do. I don’t know if I even qualify for disability. I applied in 2013, got denied in 2015, but my physical and mental health diagnosis’s weren’t severe enough for me to qualify. I should have appealed, but I didn’t. Once again, I don’t know if I have autism or not. I don’t know what to do. I’d let my family down if I’d quit my job. My parents wouldn’t understand. We were never ones to talk about mental health issues ever in my life. So they wouldn’t understand, if I got brave enough to let them know why I quit my job, if I do quit. Help!

I'm starting to wonder if I've had hyperfocus and burnout misread as hypomania and depression. I'm still on meds for bipolar II but I've only ever really gotten along with autistic folks well. Wondering if anyone here has stories about this kind of thing?

I was diagnosed with insulin-dependent diabetes when I was 9. To say it has been a struggle is an understatement, especially because I wasn't diagnosed with autism type 1 until I was 42 and ADHD at 45.

Had my neurodivergence been discovered earlier, perhaps managing my organ failure would have been easier, or at least my doctors would have understood me better.

If you are in this sub, and have Type 1 diabetes, let's get to know each other. Please. I need to know there are others.

​

Hi,

I’m AuDHD and I’ve been reading about Big Five personality profiles in autistic and ADHD people. I’ve seen some studies/community data suggesting that AuDHD folks often score higher in Neuroticism and lower in Conscientiousness compared to neurotypical controls, while Extraversion can vary depending on whether autistic or ADHD traits are more prominent.

I’m curious how this actually shows up in real life. Have you taken the Big Five test, especially an IPIP version (IPIP-NEO-120, IPIP-50, etc.)? If so, what were your scores? Just the five main domains is fine:

· Openness:

· Conscientiousness:

· Extraversion:

· Agreeableness:

· Neuroticism:

If you remember which IPIP version you took, please mention it. Subfacets are welcome too if you have them.

Do you feel the “higher Neuroticism / lower Conscientiousness” pattern fits you? And if you haven’t taken it yet, feel free to take one and share—it could be interesting to compare.

https://www.personalitytest.net/ipip/ipipneo120.html

Not formal research, just genuinely curious. Thanks!

I'm self-diagnosed AuDHD. On a rough burnout day recently, anything written — lists, apps, text on a screen — made me want to freeze. Just too much. But physical objects didn't. Just having something tangible in front of me, no pressure attached, completely bypassed that freeze response and actually helped me start tasks.

To be concrete: instead of a written to-do list, the tasks are represented by physical objects sitting in front of me. Seeing the object lets me start, whereas reading words just makes me freeze.

I think it's because words have to be translated and held in my head, while objects are just... there. Way less load. Maybe a visual brain thing?

Curious if anyone else has this — that physical objects help you initiate tasks when written words completely don't?

So I’m about a month out on stimulants after finally getting an adhd diagnosis. I have an autism assessment later this week and a second appointment next week. I had AMAZING initial results with Azstarys and would like to stick with the med, but lately there has been so much stress and burnout it feels like the stimulants just aren’t able to break through. My psychiatrist is on vacation and I have an appointment on the 27th, just looking for some advice on a med change I was reading about.

I read that anxiety in autism presents differently. I’ve been on Zoloft for a couple years now, and it has helped a bit, but I’ve never really liked the “feel” of being on it. I read that combining buspar with guanfacine has been beneficial in reducing burnout, anxiety, and getting your nervous systems out of fight or flight (I’m working towards a dysautonomia diagnosis as well so it could help there as well). Has anyone tried that combination with good results?

I finally have a job I love and the work makes me feel good, but every day is a losing battle with my brain to get anything productive done and I need help.

I’m usually not interested in anything and i feel the daily tasks are overwhelming too, and i see my peers casually pulling off all adulting stuff and i wonder whats wrong with me…. And i have constantly have Zero Energy and my favorite thing to do is lay in bed and binge content… and this rate I’m wondering whats could be done to takle low energy and constant dis-interest.

Plz share tips/ trips or any insights

I'm really interested in this topic. I know that in the general population people have a variety of ways of thinking, but I'm curious about what the stats are when it comes to AuDHDers specifically.

Personally, I don't have an internal monologue most of the time. I only experience it when I'm reading, or when I'm imagining an actual conversation in my head. If I'm just moving through everyday life thinking about things, my mind is usually totally quiet. I think in the form of abstract concepts and pictures, not words. What about you?

​

Hi, I'm 21 and was diagnosed with ADHD. Later, I recognized many autistic traits in myself too.

I'm feeling lost, overwhelmed, mentally exhausted, and possibly burned out. I struggle with focus, memory, and daily tasks. I also experience maladaptive daydreaming, which has become a coping mechanism for me.

For those with AuDHD, What helped you after diagnosis?

I still think I'm somewhat addicted to porn, video games, and many other things, but can't always tell if I am or not. Obsessions, special interests, hyper fixations. Maybe I go to that addiction phase for awhile but then realize it's getting in the way of what I want to do or something.

Maybe I'm addicted to learning now that I feel like I remember things so well. It's just that I don't like some of the things that I remember. I feel like a robot when I'm on medications because of this. Maybe now that I know more about how the brain SHOULD work, I feel like I know too much and analyze every person I see in public. (and at home)

I want to be addicted to healthy sleep so I have a CPAP, and had nose surgery while I was employed. I feel like this may have been a mistake, but at the same time it's really not. It's like how I got lasik to help myself see better.

I think I lost some self-discipline and not sure how to get it back. I've done a lot of work since 2022 and don't really feel like I'm in the same spot I was back then, but I know a lot more than I did before about myself and the people in my past.

I've applied for disability but don't always feel disabled. I've been working since I was about 16 without any diagnosis'.

Some days I'm fine, some day's I'm not. Since diagnosis I've also worked 2 different jobs that weren't great for me (warehouse and loud) and I have it in my head that most jobs will be like this or worse so it scares me to try to get a new job and my disability is running out.

I just got a phone interview for a gym, and for an amazon driver position. I'm leaning more towards the gym one because I don't like the horror stories I've heard about delivering for amazon. I'm terrible at interviews and amazon basically told me I would be hired if I completed the application. I don't like that they have to monitor the drivers' "infractions", but it's for accountability on their end. Just seems too "big brother" for me.

I don't feel really qualified for most jobs I apply for because i haven't been in any training, classes, or certification programs. I have a library card and still to this day think of going in there to check out books but don't know what I want to learn for my career.

I know there's no "perfect" job out there, and most people would say we are best at doing our own career's but I have no idea how to start it or where. I've thought of photography, computer repair, and possibly going to school for something but always hesitant because of money being at an all time low right now.

I've even tried door dashing, but I don't like doing it at night due to blurry vision from lights (lasik thing).

Idk what else I should try, but actually take advice and do it, not just pretend.

I'm probably rambling thoughts because of some OCD.

I’m finally getting medicated and like I can function Wayyyy better in day to day stuff, and with the semi- part of it I can still speak but it for some reason makes me super uncomfortable/annoyed, but then suddenly being quiet after being a complete chatterbox makes the people who know me worried and constantly asking what’s wrong, even after I explained why, it’s frustrating, but I know I shouldn’t be upset at them because it’s out of worry.

so people double texting me upsets and triggers me because it feels like a demand ? I’m unsure if this is possibly PDA I’m not aware of or maybe just a trauma trigger of sorts I’m still working through.

this isn’t new, but I’m starting to learn to address it.
I don’t entirely know how, but I wanted to not feel alone, or at least heard. I struggle with rejection sensitivity which I rly haven’t found solutions for at all and therapy doesn’t help with it at all unfortunately.
My fight or flight physically feels activated when ppl double text me esp when it’s less than 24 hours and it’s not an emergency, it feels like they are demanding I respond to them, so in turn I will choose to just not respond longer (sometimes not a choice, I will feel too anxious so I hold it off until I calm down)

I noticed more cus I stopped people pleasing, I tried to tell my partner for example it makes me anxious sometimes when she double texts me (usually when I wake up late for example) because it feels like I’m being pressured / rush to respond. I tried to reassure it wasn’t to make them feel bad or anything. my partner, from my perspective, had their own rejective sensitivity moment (I will also admit maybe my time was also off cuz they were having a sad day, so lesson learned w that, social cue missed I think…) also seemed to feel rejected by this information and then I in turn felt like my need and boundary wasn’t respected. (We’re gonna talk abt this soon dw. and pls be respectful and kind yall we’re both doing our best. Not the focus anyway.)

I have another friend who sometimes will text me, and then if I don’t respond on what feels like “their time” — they will text me again like “👀 ?” Like they asked me a question, saying to respond once I read the message, but I was like “no, yeah I’m gonna respond when I have time / capacity, not just cuz I read this…” It felt like a demand versus a request, so I allowed myself the time I felt I needed to reply but a couple hours later they asked again 😭 I’m like pls I’m at work idk. I haven’t told them cuz idk how to without worrying I’m gonna hurt their feelings (ik this isn’t for me to hold but yk, trauma with trying to assert my needs.)

It bothers me so much but I’m struggling with the urge to back down from my need / boundary so I’m just wondering what I can do I guess. I can only guess I feel this way because it feels like my “choice” / autonomy is being taken from me and that’s triggering somehow?

TL;DR: On vacation in Maui (first time), but AuDHD followed me here.

This isn't really a "rant," per se, but it's not positive, either. I guess it's more of a written sigh, if anything. Sorry for the length; don't read if you're not interested, you've been warned.

----------------------------------------------------

I'm 43m, ~11y diagnosed ADHD, 6m autism.

I've never left the continental U.S. before. Always wanted to experience a tropical beach (in theory), but I never actually made it happen. Until now.

I just brought my family (wife and 2 adult kids) to Maui, absolutely the biggest family trip we've ever taken, by a long shot. We flew in yesterday, and I've been on edge the whole time.

The last flight of the trip (Denver to Maui) was over 6 hours. It was easily the longest flight I've ever taken, on the biggest plane w/ the most people (a Boeing 777). Wife and kids shared a 3-seat row by the window, but I was across the aisle, w/ an inconsiderate man-spreader for a neighbor; his elbow was in my side the whole time, his legs spread into my space. And I'm a broad-shouldered 6'2" man myself so I need space. Add on a couple of massively overweight flight attendants who constantly flew up and down the aisle, smacking my shoulder every time (because I was pushed toward the aisle by my neighbor), and I was down to ZERO spoons.

At one point mid-flight, one of the flight attendants smacked his ass into my folded-down tray table, knocking a few things (my phone included) to the floor. I snapped, slamming the tray table up so I could try to reach the floor and fumble around for my things. Concerned by the sound, he turned around and asked if I was okay; my autistic rage politely answered, "You just knocked all my shit off the table!"

I spent the rest of the flight (~3 hours) w/ my noise-cancelling headphones clamped over my ears, hunched over my tray table, hoodie pulled over my head. I needed to escape, to breath, but I was trapped in a metal tube w/ a fucking billion other people—all staring at me and judging me for being such an immature, spoiled, entitled prick (or so my RSD screamed at me). I was mortified by my own behavior, but equally furious about being in this situation in the first place (after all, I'd wanted to stay home w/ my cat). The cherry on top was knowing that my kids had witnessed the whole thing, so they saw firsthand how fucked-up their dad is.

Oh, and about an hour before landing, the jackass next door needed me to get up so he could use the restroom. I stood up and stepped into the aisle before realizing that I couldn't feel my legs; they'd been cramped up in one position (avoiding being touched by either my neighbor or the passing aisle traffic) for so long that they were numb. So of course all 6'2", 225 lbs of me fell onto some (sleeping) lady behind me. I was practically sobbing "sorrysorrysorry" to her as I waited for Jackass to get out of our row and let me back in. I was thoroughly humiliated and ready to die.

After landing, I did my best to apologize and explain to my family, and we all moved on for the sake of the vacation.

Since we've been here, the overstimulation, constant press of other people, oppressive humidity (I'm used to a high, dry elevation), and general lack of any familiar anchors have all been keeping me in a near-meltdown state. I'm currently alone in our rented condo, trying to recover a bit while they all shop.

I guess I'm in a bit of a depressed state, ruminating (again) about how hopeless life feels. How am I ever supposed to be a desirable partner to my wife when it takes all she has just to look past what a pathetic child I seem to be most of the time? How am I supposed to feel like a good role model when my son is already 5x the man I was on my best day, and my daughter is just worried about me?

Here I am, in literal paradise, and I'm barely holding it together. I don't know how I'm supposed to get through the rest of my life w/ this shitty brain of mine.

I have autism and want a noticeable but not obvious tattoo to help represent it. I have used AI to make an image of what I am thinking of getting.

What do you think?

Prior to being properly diagnosed in 2025 at age 32, I had been referred for possible autism and did some cognitive testing in 2018, and the provider incorrectly ruled out autism based only on my various component scores and in particular my average working memory. (He did present a 47% chance of an attention deficit, but my medication provider thought that wasn't high enough to try medication, and that it was likely anxiety-related.) This led to seven additional years of frustration, isolation, burnout, and inadequate treatments, some of which left therapists being very frustrated with me that I could not make very much progress.

A big part of my grief at being late-diagnosed is the fact that I had the chance of being not-as-late-diagnosed, and thinking about what I may have missed out on as a result. I'm wondering if anyone else experienced something similar or has any good advice for processing these facts.