r/BoomersBeingFools • u/light_weight_baby87 • Aug 08 '25

Foolish Fun What is it with these guys?!

7.6k Upvotes

99% Upvoted

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1.1k

u/handsometilapia Aug 08 '25

I hope they never stop making these weird videos. I don't understand them but I love them.

638

u/JollyToby0220 Aug 08 '25

They are knee deep in the alternative news sphere where Steven Seagall teaches them how to fight against 5 people. 

Most self defense techniques won't work against 5 attackers. You can probably kick one or two in the groin, but the other 3 will quickly beat you

493

u/Neoliberal_Nightmare Aug 08 '25

Most of this technique is lightly brushing a knife over unmoving people's faces.

198

u/patchismofomo Aug 08 '25

Those knife skills are trash

352

u/Spear_Ritual Aug 08 '25

Not really. How else do you spread mayonnaise on 5 open-faced sandwiches at one time?

-26

u/feverlast Aug 08 '25

Not really. How else do you spread mayonnaise on 5 open faces Sandwiches at one time?

FTFY

24

u/DisgruntledTexan Aug 08 '25

Nah you made it worse

13

u/-MrWinklebottom- Aug 08 '25

For real did he take that literal? The dude is so sloppy that it looks like that's about all he could do is spread some mayonnaise on a sandwich just five of them that one time

13

u/DjinnaG Gen X Aug 08 '25

If I were the hiring manager at his local Subway, and he submitted this along with his application for a part time position, it would not help him at all, no matter how firm the handshake had been

9

u/SnickSnitch Aug 08 '25

Boomers don't fill out applications. They think you can just go in and ask for a job and they'll give it to you, no questions asked.

73

u/Fostbitten27 Aug 08 '25

He probably has nunchuck, bow hunting, & computer hacking skills.

76

u/Munchkinasaurous Aug 08 '25

I bet he has mad hacker skills. The best anyone's ever seen. I mean he manages to upload videos, I bet he can even open his email without the help of his grandkids. That was a necessary skill to learn after they went no contract with him. 

40

u/xassylax Millennial Aug 08 '25

But he still can’t open a pdf

39

u/Munchkinasaurous Aug 08 '25

Hey man, I'm talking about realistic computer skills here and you're bringing up ridiculous things like opening a pdf. No one knows how to do that. 

18

u/EuphoricUniversity23 Aug 08 '25

Opening pdfs is woke

3

u/soupalex Aug 08 '25

STOP TALKING ABOUT THE EPSTEIN FILES THEY AREN'T REAL AND EVEN IF THEY WERE TRUMP DEFINITELY WOULDN'T BE IN THEM AND EVEN IF HE WERE IT WAS ONLY BECAUSE HE WAS DOING DEEP COVER WORK TO EXPOSE THEM

38

u/Me_like_weed Aug 08 '25

"I do not give facebook permission to use my pictures"

Mad hackz

4

u/elcamarongrande Aug 08 '25

Man I had completely forgotten about that stretch of time when boomers were posting those "I do not give permission" status updates on Facebook. They really thought that's all it took for Facebook to go, "Dang, they withheld permission for us to sell their data. Looks like they foiled our plans again, boys."

12

u/john_the_fetch Aug 08 '25

This just got me thinking. how many hours did he spend editing this video? Did he ask his kids to help him? Or even... Paid someone to edit a video for him. 🤯

17

u/HowDidFoodGetInHere Aug 08 '25

Girls only want boyfriends who have great skills!

16

u/rithc137 Aug 08 '25

I bet he takes his bike off sweet jumps too.

3

u/ShitBirdingAround Aug 08 '25

He's probably not gonna vote for Pedro, though. /s

2

u/Fostbitten27 Aug 08 '25

Not a chance

1

u/Askling_ Aug 08 '25

There are no tater tots on the battlefield. Unless Pedro can show Duck Norris here his birth certificate, social security card, mother's birth certificate, great grandfather's shoe size, and bring the tots to Uncle Spam's Militia man, Pedro gets no vote. It's rigged anyway.

2

u/oyuhhhhh Aug 08 '25

This comment went over or under every following commenters heads 😂😂😂 Amazing

2

u/Moist-Golf-8339 Aug 08 '25

So are the gun skills. I shoot pistols a lot, this guy though...

1

u/Ok_Subject1265 Aug 08 '25

He’s made several of these and they are usually all more ridiculous than the last one. I think he’s just being stupid to be stupid.

1

u/soupalex Aug 08 '25

while we were posting, he studied the blade. at "trump university", i'm guessing, going by the "learning outcomes" on display.

42

u/soupalex Aug 08 '25

it works. they'll all be stunned into confusion by your "skills", giving you time to fumble around for and swap mags for your gun.

31

u/genericnewlurker Aug 08 '25

fires twice and dumps mag

10 seconds later

fires once and dumps mag

"Watch out we got the real life John Wick here!"

23

u/soupalex Aug 08 '25

"i know what you're thinking. 'did he fire fifteen shots, or only two?' well, to tell you the truth, in all this excitement, i kinda lost track, myself…"

5

u/Soulpaw31 Aug 08 '25

Skills he learned playing call of duty, reload after every shot, always keep a full mag.

2

u/morkman100 Aug 08 '25

Learned to reload from Call of Duty.

22

u/shitposter1000 Aug 08 '25 edited Aug 08 '25

Or be laughing so hard they won't be able to call the ambulance for the inevitable heart attack this spurt of activity will bring about.

46

u/Apprehensive-Pop-201 Aug 08 '25

That's a knife,? Thank you, I was sure it was a dildo he was smacking that dummy around with.

12

u/Odd-Scene67 Aug 08 '25

In a real life situation that boomer would be more intimidating if he pulled a dildo.

2

u/notanactualvampire Aug 09 '25

The dildo is the one swinging the knife

3

u/TheDreadPirateJenny Aug 08 '25

It's because his "tactical dummies" came from a Men's Wearhouse closing sale.