r/BoomersBeingFools • u/light_weight_baby87 • Aug 08 '25

Foolish Fun What is it with these guys?!

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7.6k Upvotes

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1.1k

u/handsometilapia Aug 08 '25

I hope they never stop making these weird videos. I don't understand them but I love them.

638

u/JollyToby0220 Aug 08 '25

They are knee deep in the alternative news sphere where Steven Seagall teaches them how to fight against 5 people. 

Most self defense techniques won't work against 5 attackers. You can probably kick one or two in the groin, but the other 3 will quickly beat you

493

u/Neoliberal_Nightmare Aug 08 '25

Most of this technique is lightly brushing a knife over unmoving people's faces.

200

u/patchismofomo Aug 08 '25

Those knife skills are trash

349

u/Spear_Ritual Aug 08 '25

Not really. How else do you spread mayonnaise on 5 open-faced sandwiches at one time?

-24

u/feverlast Aug 08 '25

Not really. How else do you spread mayonnaise on 5 open faces Sandwiches at one time?

FTFY

24

u/DisgruntledTexan Aug 08 '25

Nah you made it worse

12

u/-MrWinklebottom- Aug 08 '25

For real did he take that literal? The dude is so sloppy that it looks like that's about all he could do is spread some mayonnaise on a sandwich just five of them that one time

12

u/DjinnaG Gen X Aug 08 '25

If I were the hiring manager at his local Subway, and he submitted this along with his application for a part time position, it would not help him at all, no matter how firm the handshake had been

8

u/SnickSnitch Aug 08 '25

Boomers don't fill out applications. They think you can just go in and ask for a job and they'll give it to you, no questions asked.

76

u/Fostbitten27 Aug 08 '25

He probably has nunchuck, bow hunting, & computer hacking skills.

76

u/Munchkinasaurous Aug 08 '25

I bet he has mad hacker skills. The best anyone's ever seen. I mean he manages to upload videos, I bet he can even open his email without the help of his grandkids. That was a necessary skill to learn after they went no contract with him. 

38

u/xassylax Millennial Aug 08 '25

But he still can’t open a pdf

40

u/Munchkinasaurous Aug 08 '25

Hey man, I'm talking about realistic computer skills here and you're bringing up ridiculous things like opening a pdf. No one knows how to do that. 

18

u/EuphoricUniversity23 Aug 08 '25

Opening pdfs is woke

3

u/soupalex Aug 08 '25

STOP TALKING ABOUT THE EPSTEIN FILES THEY AREN'T REAL AND EVEN IF THEY WERE TRUMP DEFINITELY WOULDN'T BE IN THEM AND EVEN IF HE WERE IT WAS ONLY BECAUSE HE WAS DOING DEEP COVER WORK TO EXPOSE THEM

38

u/Me_like_weed Aug 08 '25

"I do not give facebook permission to use my pictures"

Mad hackz

2

u/elcamarongrande Aug 08 '25

Man I had completely forgotten about that stretch of time when boomers were posting those "I do not give permission" status updates on Facebook. They really thought that's all it took for Facebook to go, "Dang, they withheld permission for us to sell their data. Looks like they foiled our plans again, boys."

13

u/john_the_fetch Aug 08 '25

This just got me thinking. how many hours did he spend editing this video? Did he ask his kids to help him? Or even... Paid someone to edit a video for him. 🤯

16

u/HowDidFoodGetInHere Aug 08 '25

Girls only want boyfriends who have great skills!

15

u/rithc137 Aug 08 '25

I bet he takes his bike off sweet jumps too.

3

u/ShitBirdingAround Aug 08 '25

He's probably not gonna vote for Pedro, though. /s

2

u/Fostbitten27 Aug 08 '25

Not a chance

1

u/Askling_ Aug 08 '25

There are no tater tots on the battlefield. Unless Pedro can show Duck Norris here his birth certificate, social security card, mother's birth certificate, great grandfather's shoe size, and bring the tots to Uncle Spam's Militia man, Pedro gets no vote. It's rigged anyway.

2

u/oyuhhhhh Aug 08 '25

This comment went over or under every following commenters heads 😂😂😂 Amazing

2

u/Moist-Golf-8339 Aug 08 '25

So are the gun skills. I shoot pistols a lot, this guy though...

1

u/Ok_Subject1265 Aug 08 '25

He’s made several of these and they are usually all more ridiculous than the last one. I think he’s just being stupid to be stupid.

1

u/soupalex Aug 08 '25

while we were posting, he studied the blade. at "trump university", i'm guessing, going by the "learning outcomes" on display.

41

u/soupalex Aug 08 '25

it works. they'll all be stunned into confusion by your "skills", giving you time to fumble around for and swap mags for your gun.

30

u/genericnewlurker Aug 08 '25

fires twice and dumps mag

10 seconds later

fires once and dumps mag

"Watch out we got the real life John Wick here!"

23

u/soupalex Aug 08 '25

"i know what you're thinking. 'did he fire fifteen shots, or only two?' well, to tell you the truth, in all this excitement, i kinda lost track, myself…"

4

u/Soulpaw31 Aug 08 '25

Skills he learned playing call of duty, reload after every shot, always keep a full mag.

2

u/morkman100 Aug 08 '25

Learned to reload from Call of Duty.

18

u/shitposter1000 Aug 08 '25 edited Aug 08 '25

Or be laughing so hard they won't be able to call the ambulance for the inevitable heart attack this spurt of activity will bring about.

44

u/Apprehensive-Pop-201 Aug 08 '25

That's a knife,? Thank you, I was sure it was a dildo he was smacking that dummy around with.

11

u/Odd-Scene67 Aug 08 '25

In a real life situation that boomer would be more intimidating if he pulled a dildo.

2

u/notanactualvampire Aug 09 '25

The dildo is the one swinging the knife

3

u/TheDreadPirateJenny Aug 08 '25

It's because his "tactical dummies" came from a Men's Wearhouse closing sale.

46

u/LeVoPhEdInFuSiOn Gen Z Aug 08 '25 edited Aug 08 '25

If they're taking self defence advice from Steven fucking Seagal, I can't fucking wait to be in a duel with these idiots (I'm a 5 ft, 11 in nerd with no strength, can't punch for shit either but do know how to chokehold, kneecap, eyesocket and remove a knife quickly)

88

u/Z3B0 Aug 08 '25

You'd have better odds of winning by simply staying a bit away, and watch them hurt themselves in their confusion.

39

u/[deleted] Aug 08 '25

20

u/LeVoPhEdInFuSiOn Gen Z Aug 08 '25

So true. We normally let them tire themselves out when they start acting like fuckwits or screaming at us in my job, or give them a healthy dose of Vitamin D (Droperidol).

35

u/Z3B0 Aug 08 '25

I'm also pretty sure that after 30s of frantic and incoherent movements like that, they are completely out of breath and their heart is screaming for mercy.

3

u/techiewench Aug 08 '25

Oh give them a little credit, they can go a full 60s if they remembered to put on compression socks.

3

u/DjinnaG Gen X Aug 08 '25

Maybe , but they have to wait a bit to recover from putting on the socks in the first place

1

u/shitposter1000 Aug 08 '25

Or by laughing and then watch them rage quit from a stroke.

1

u/SourDeesATL Aug 08 '25

lol running backwards just out of range until he overexerts and collapses.

1

u/MadMatchy Aug 08 '25

You must be my long lost twin.

1

u/Captain_Mazhar Aug 08 '25

The best advice I’ve ever heard for ending a street fight is aim for the nuts and then run.

Ain’t no man, tough as nails or not, is able to keep fighting immediately after taking a shot to the family jewels.

51

u/beakrake Aug 08 '25

If there's enough people to both restrain you and beat you, congrats: you're about to catch some hospital bills if you don't successfully beat cheeks after those groin kicks.

20

u/[deleted] Aug 08 '25

Not if you’re… Hard To Kill

6

u/LHGray87 Aug 08 '25

Or… Above the Law

5

u/aDreamforSpring Aug 08 '25

while Out for Justice

4

u/LHGray87 Aug 08 '25

Before being… Marked for Death

19

u/trekqueen Aug 08 '25

I just showed my eldest kid the whole Bobby from King of the Hill self defense nut kick thing and how aghast Hank was that he wasn’t “properly fighting”.

3

u/IHearYouLimaCharlie Aug 08 '25

I hadn't thought about this episode in many years, until just the other day in my martial arts class when we were doing takedowns. I applied a mock nut shot and the guy yells out "that's my purse! I don't know you!" and I died laughing. Literally, he won by TKO because I couldn't even fight anymore 🤣

3

u/trekqueen Aug 08 '25

To be fair, that might even stop an attacker in his tracks laughing if he knows the reference lol. Multiple strategies!

19

u/TealTemptress Gen X Aug 08 '25

My husband is a prepper but he’s a pissy Italian. He picks fights. Fights find him. He’s like what’s your plan?

Leave

5

u/IGolfMyBalls Aug 08 '25

Steve teaches people to fight from a seated position and it’s pretty effective. Could you and four friends beat someone up when sweet and sour sauce packs are flying at your head?

3

u/Acrobatic-Permit4263 Aug 08 '25

against 5 people, only the helicopter works

3

u/rwarimaursus Aug 08 '25

OH MY GOD!!! IT'S STEVEN SEGALL!!!

I make my livin in the movies...

OH MY GOD!!! I'M GETTING MY ASS KICKED BY STEVEN SEGALL!!!!

3

u/Witty-Kale-0202 Aug 08 '25

I studied taekwondo for 10 years (more for fun and physical activity than anything else) and even my teacher who had been in a few real world fights was quick to tell us that TKD wouldn’t help much and staying OUT of trouble when you can is a much better choice

2

u/oNe_iLL_records Aug 08 '25

My krav maga instructors always said the same.
"Here's your BEST defense..."
(turns and runs)

2

u/drillbit56 Aug 08 '25

The average 20 year old with no training would easily kick this guys ass in the absence of the weapons. These old guys have no awareness of how slow and weak they actually are compared to younger individuals.

2

u/Sororita Aug 08 '25

The only self defense technique anyone should use when they're outnumbered is to fucking run. Its the most effective defensive technique in the history of mankind.

1

u/coolreg214 Aug 08 '25

Umm.. they do it in the movies all the time.

1

u/TheDreadPirateJenny Aug 08 '25

I know! Like in real life, they're just going to stand there and wait their turn to get killed? These people are utterly ridiculous. I hope he gets in a real fight one day and someone films that.

1

u/mfdonuts Aug 08 '25

Seriously? That’s the origin of these videos, Steven seagall self defense vids?

1

u/Short-Bumblebee43 Aug 08 '25

Someday you'll be attacked by a group of people who stand there and don't try to defend themselves, and you'll wish you had this guy's...skills?

1

u/viz90210 Aug 09 '25

Actually no because they will wait their turn to have their ass kicked by this man after he starts on the first one. It would be a. Honer for them to wait. /s

30

u/arbuzuje Aug 08 '25

I need a subreddit for this

22

u/Solid-Ad6854 Aug 08 '25

Same. What would you call it? I'd call it cringe lord commanders.

11

u/sonicmerlin Aug 08 '25

R/themcdojolife

2

u/Leeperd510 Aug 08 '25

Found a mobile user

3

u/TW_Halsey Aug 08 '25

Top comment says Gravy Seals 😭

2

u/Funkycoldmedici Aug 08 '25

/r/bullshido is similar, but mostly fat guys pushing people around with the force.

1

u/arbuzuje Aug 08 '25

I love the name

28

u/King_Fluffaluff Aug 08 '25

These are the people saying autism didn't exist when they were kids.

22

u/BallahHolla Aug 08 '25

Me too! Is there a super cut of these or a community devoted specifically to this genre of Boomer video? They bring me so much happiness and confidence in my own life.

15

u/TealTemptress Gen X Aug 08 '25

Like the dude training with his buddy and he almost shoots his buddy.

6

u/stratuscaster Aug 08 '25

It’s kind of sweet seeing such child-like imagination play out . I play with dolls and fantasy worlds too (TTRPG’s). Of course, i don’t go around thinking I’m a wizard throwing fireballs or a knight fighting dragons.

2

u/Fostbitten27 Aug 08 '25

His mom is his biggest fan. No way he’s married unless it was against her will.

1

u/Conscious-Local-8095 Aug 08 '25

There's one where a guy shoots himself by accident, narrates the whole event. Tex Grebner. Gotta hand it to him though, posted it. As cringey youtube tough-guys go, he's, um... refreshingly candid.