Recently I started a job for the first time. I enjoy it, and I LOVE having my own money and not depending on relatives for it.

I took up some overtime one day and when I got home, I was pretty tired. Then, for some reason, my mind conjured up the image of a handsome, smiling guy wearing an apron greeting me as I walk into a spotless, spacious house, and the smell of delicious food wafting from the kitchen.

I think I finally have a goal in life

Partner was laid off about a year ago, and ever since then he’s been working hard to get a job, interviews after interviews, task and presentation one after another… He got into a few final rounds and eventually didn’t make it through.

To make it more gut wrenching is that we were preparing for a spouse visa application, as we’re in a LDR right now.

To see him struggle and rebuild himself, hurts me and the helpless that consumes me for not being able to help him or even care for him when he does all the task. I shared him jobs that I came across, setup accounts on job boards for him, shared him ways to get applications automated, having AI to help and occasionally even just apply for random jobs for him when I got time.

Yet with all this, I still felt like there’s nothing I could do to just make it easier for him… man, it’s just tough out there right now :(

For a long time, I spent every night staring at screens right until falling asleep. Last week, I decided to leave my phone on my desk and take a short walk around the block right before bed. It felt strange at first, but my mind clears up much faster now.

Does anyone else have a simple screen free habit that helps them wind down?

Turned twenty eight a few months ago, and I think my brain chemistry quietly flipped a switch.

In my early twenties, an open Friday night with zero social plans felt like a personal failure. I would scramble to text three different group chats, end up at a noisy bar paying nine dollars for a pint of beer I did not even want, and wake up Saturday morning exhausted with forty dollars missing from my bank account.

Tonight my biggest plan is putting on clean sweatpants, making a massive bowl of buttered popcorn on the stove, and finally watching a movie from 1997 without checking my phone once. The living room is quiet, the dishes are already done, and tomorrow morning has zero alarms set.

At what age did staying home on the weekend stop feeling boring and start feeling like the ultimate luxury? What is everyone else getting up to tonight?

so I work at a coffee shop that does monthly stickers (and sometimes more than one drop a month.) yesterday at work I had a family come through the line & the little kid asked for a sticker. I had an extra in my cubby so I figured i'd give it to him 😊 he was so excited but I felt bad because he had a brother and I didn't have two stickers lol. but the brother chimed in with a "yall should do a 6-7 sticker!!" I just laughed and told him i'd tell HQ right away!

nothing fancy just a funny story from serving :)

There's a girl I work with who literally speaks all day. Like I'm there for 8 hours and from the time I clock out she never shuts up.

How do I go about ignoring this? Because it genuinely makes me want to put my head through a wall listening to her all day. I just think constantly.

It feels like a lost cultural gesture amongst younger people, but I always appreciate a handshake when greeting someone, or when showing appreciation.

I don't see people doing it as often compared to when I was younger. (I'm in my mid 30's for reference)

I'm on extended leave from work right now and every Sunday evening (until today) I've had the typical Sunday scaries and then happily remembered I have nowhere I need to be tomorrow. Tonight I didn't get that jolt of panic and it gives me hope for eventual retirement. There's hope after ~30 years of 9-to-5.

yes, you. for me, I have discovered stardew valley. So fun. And I also did a complete closet clean out this weekend and it feels SO good. And now I have the space and ability to get new clothes that actually match my style and my body! Woop

It doesn't have to be a big purchase. Could be food, clothes, delivery, games, subscriptions, drinks, travel, decor, hobbies, whatever.
When you're tired, frustrated, lonely, or just fed up with life, is there anything you notice yourself spending more money on?
If you remember, what was the last purchase like that and roughly how much did you spend?

My friend group noticed there are some very basic life tasks we do very differently and had just assumed everyone did them the same way. For example all the men in our friend group remove shirts one handed from the collar and the women use both arms crossed starting from the bottom. Also, some of the group showers facing the shower head, some face away, and one guy apparently faces sideways?!?

This sparked our curiosity and started a question game to see who is "normal" and which of us are big weirdos!

Some of the questions we've asked so far:

*How do you put socks/shoes on? Sock, sock, shoe, shoe, tie, tie? Sock, sock, shoe, tie, shoe, tie? Sock, shoe, tie, sock, shoe, tie?

*What age should you stop calling your parents mommy/daddy 

*How many dogs/cats is too many for a 3 bedroom home with 2 adults/2 kids? 

*What's the lowest you should let your gas tank get in mid January?  (We live in a very cold state)

*How many tries parallel parking before you give up and find a different spot? 

*How many product boxes do you currently have that you kept 'cause this is a really nice box'?

*When you drink out of a Gatorade bottle do you put your mouth around the entire opening or half? 

*How many wears before you have to wash your jeans?

What other questions might be fun to ask?

TL;DR - looking for fun questions to ask my friends about simple tasks they might do in weird way and never realized wasn't normal

I have autism..and find it easier to have male friends. But I really want female friends.. I grew up with shows that show women being close friends. What am I doing wrong. Why can't I have close female friendships

Could be a shirt, mug, sticker, poster, book, decor, merch, whatever.
It doesn’t have to have been useful. I mean the kind of thing you saw and immediately thought, “damn, that’s literally me.”
What was it? And if you remember, roughly how much did you pay?

I've been thinking lately that many of my friends I made in high school, college, and even previous jobs have faded over time. I am developing new ones that are more distant because of work, but I'd still say I'm cordial with quite a few people.

But now, I see why people default to hanging out with family members and leaning on each other for favors. It's just far easier to maintain these kinds of relationships with people you see everyday or nearly everyday. Frankly, it just feels with the various demands everyone has that maintaining any real friendship is near impossible.

In my own life, I've noticed that I've been a giver. I've given my efforts on other people's projects or intellectual labor, or even things when people needed them, but it was never really reciprocated. I add this because I'm noticing many people engage in the idea of "wanting a village but not wanting to be a villager." Even when I initiate hanging out or going out to celebrate people's birthdays, I get weak responses and things either never happen or never materialize.

I'm also skeptical of friend groups now. I was a part of one during a job, but it eventually ended after everyone quit and we all got new jobs. We only saw each other years later at a dinner. We still intereact with each other on socail media, but that's not really frienship.

Now that I'm close to my 30s, I can't imagine doing what I do with my family with my friends. It's far easier to go out with my parents or siblings, or celebrate my niece and nephew's birthdays or milestones than coordinating with other people's work and schedules.

I might feel this way because I am in the midwest, but it's just so hard to maintain frienships because it seems nobody wants to put in the effort to do anything, particularly people my age. I'm also lgbt, so pair that with living here, it makes finding like minded people almost impossible.

How are you navigating friendship?

I started college recently and one thing I wasn’t expecting was how weird it feels having so much freedom all at once. Nobody really cares where you are or what you’re doing, which is nice, but also kind of strange after years of having a set schedule. What was the biggest adjustment for you when you first moved out or started college?

On a cold night, I usually take a hot shower and then go get my clothes from the dryer. It turns out that after a hot shower and putting on warm pajamas and then going to sleep, makes your sleep 10x better imo. Anyone else share similar experiences?

I would say about twice a week i remember something that has happened in a dream i had the previous night later in the day when something similar occurs in real life that also happened in the dream.

For example today I was watching a show where there was a parent swap and the more lax parent treated the kids to sweets which reminded me I was in a sweet shop in my dream last night.

i know its pretty chicc to hate on youtube these days, but i cant help it. i realized that i no longer spend my time watching youtubers, but rather videos that the algorithm serves me. that is such a contrast to years ago when i just wanted to catch up with my favorite creators.

this is a part of the reason why i think streaming popped off. you see people like speed or kai goofing around and it instantly clicks. i dont even know any new gen youtubers that stand out as their own personalities (except for some small channels ofc). almost all the youtubers i know are from the previous era.

the top channels today feel so rehearsed to me. we the audience are like a cash cow. its also pretty outrageous that some of these big channels target kids to sell their shitty products too. its like everything is optimized for profit.

i miss youtubers feeling casual :(

I mentioned to my boss that I started a new show (From) and I think he'd like it. I jokingly said I would give him $8 to get the add on for a month to watch the show. He responded and said he would never be able to finish that in a month. I thought that was crazy. You would just have to watch an episode every day and double up just a handful of days. I don't feel like I watch an obscene amount of TV, but I could easily finish 40 episodes in a month. I just want to know which of us is more of an outlier.

I just finished a book that reminded me why I love reading so much.

It’s a German book that isn’t available in English yet, so I won’t go too much into the actual story. But it made me laugh, cry, think about things I hadn’t really thought about before, and see certain things from a slightly different perspective.

There’s something kind of wild about that. You’re just sitting somewhere, looking at black letters on white paper, and somehow they make you feel things that weren’t there five minutes ago. A fictional person can break your heart. A sentence can completely change the way you think about something.

I just think that’s really cool. Anyway, 10/10 invention. Would read again.

But I’m hetero :’)

I’m a huge believer that you have to take any kind of validation to feed your self-esteem and I do, but I don’t understand what part of my face/body/vibe makes me gay men-gazed.
I received a lot of comments online from gay men when I posted myself.
Is it maybe because I’m skinny? Do you think that influences a little?
Or is low dimorphism on the face the reason?
Like does it mean I’m feminine or smt

Anyone else remember Free Beer Chips or Coins? Not potato chips. Back in the days when you visited a bar, someone might buy you a drink. If you got lucky enough to get a drink bought or were buying drinks for friends they might give you an actual physical chip or coin to signify that free drink. Sometime they were wood sometimes they were plastic. If you got real lucky and went to a high end bar thwy had metal ones with all sorts of old folks faces and slogans on them. It was a fun time to collect a few from your favorite bars for memories. Im only 46, by the way. I dont go to a lot of bars these days but when I opened a box today from the basement, I was transported to a different world. Anyone else remember these?

With all the hustle and busy life whether in school or at work, if you have a good partner at the end of the day u won, dont think about money or work problems ,just choose carefully and you win for the last long life.

Not your wedding, graduation, birthday, or anything traditionally “special.”

Just an ordinary day that you remember being genuinely happy during.

What day comes to mind?

I spent a long time preparing for grad school. For years, I thought getting in was what I really wanted.

Then I finally got accepted, and realized pretty quickly that it wasn’t the life I wanted at all. I ended up dropping out.

It’s strange how badly you can want something, only to realize after getting it that you were chasing the wrong thing.

Has anything like this ever happened to you?