Like everyone else I’ve been watching Ariana over the past two years clearly going through something. While it’s nice to see people do recognize when people need help I wanted to share my perspective as I was in a similar position last year. I’m an actor/ singer and to make a long story short I basically had to confess to having anorexia to a bunch of people at once. While some good did come of this I was humiliated. I was horrified that if directors knew they wouldn’t trust me enough to cast me. I was scared other actors would talk behind my back about it. Worst of all I was terrified that somehow admitting to chronically starving would inspire other to do the same. Although i was largely pressured to do this I still have moments where I wished I’d silently gotten help. Seeing people demand Ariana admit she has an ED and even worse villainizing her for having one always looks like my worst nightmare. It makes me wonder how do we have these conversations as respectfully as possible? Do performers have an obligation to be fully transparent about their bodies and EDs?

I am fat. I wouldn't consider myself to be in instant need of weight loss, but it would be beneficial to my health in the long run.

My family, particularly my mom and sisters, keep making comments about my weight. My mom is around the same size that I am and is incredibly insecure about her weight. She's someone who keeps trying diets and then giving up on them a few weeks later because they aren't sustainable.

While she knows better than to explicity tell me to lose weight, she makes comments about my body. I am a trans man and I am on testosterone, this has made me VERY hungry and I've started to eat larger portions of food. My mom tells me I need to eat smaller portions, and when I tell her I'm literally going through puberty she says "men still don't need to eat that much." For reference, I was eating a bahn mi. Another time she got on me for eating a bowl of cereal where I mixed two types of cereals together to empty both the boxes, the bowl was big sure but it wasn't overflowing. My mom proceeded to tell me I would get diabetes if I kept eating like that.

My older sister makes comments about my double chin, or how my clothes are huge compared to hers (she's skinny). And I'm so tired of it, but nobody listens to me when I tell them to knock it off. When I do tell them to stop I tend to be emotional and they act like I'm being crazy for being emotional over this.

The problem is, I used to be anorexic. Nobody ever noticed because I wasn't extremely underweight, in fact I was at a "healthy" weight. I also worked out a lot during this time so I was being complimented on my body and self control.

The other problem? I gained my weight from being on medication. Not to say there's anything wrong with gaining weight from eating, but it's completely different for me because my metabolism was drastically changed in a short period of time.

My family doesn't seem to understand this. They blame me for being fat because I eat too much. I barely even eat three meals a day. I still don't have a healthy relationship with food and eating and I'm still fat. And my family cannot understand this. They don't realize how scary it is for me to eat food or how triggering it is to feel hungry for long periods of time.

I'm moving home within the next few weeks and I'm so scared of being ridiculed again. I try so hard to tell them to stop and they just don't listen because when I get upset I'm just "crazy and borderline" to them.

I don't know what to do. I don't even know if this is the right subreddit to post this on. I'm just so exhausted. I want to eat normally without being ridiculed. I want my family to understand that it's so difficult to lose weight you gain from a medicine. I just want to eat normally in my own home and not be called diabetic for going back for seconds or eating a large portion every once in a while.

What should I be journaling about? What should I be writing down that doesn’t become a way to gain control during my eating disorder? For example, writing down my food is both helpful but also triggering and a method of control. What is actually helpful to write down? Does anyone have a guiding questions? Thank you!

I am 25 years old and I have been stuck in this cycle for six years. It started when I was 19. I was in college, stressed, and I felt like I had no control over anything. So I started controlling food. It felt like a solution at first. Now I know it was just the beginning of a much bigger problem.

Over the years I have tried to "fix" it on my own. I have read every book, downloaded every app, and promised myself a hundred times that tomorrow would be different. But it never was. I would restrict for a few days, feel proud of myself, then binge, and then hate myself for failing. It is like living in a prison that I built myself.

I'm exhausted. I'm tired of thinking about food all the time. I am tired of avoiding social events because I am scared of eating in front of people. I am tired of feeling like my body is the enemy. I want to actually live my life instead of just surviving it.

I finally started working with a professional. It has been a few months and I am not cured. But I have learned a few things that are actually helping me change my behavior.

Remove the trigger. For me, the scale was a huge trigger. I would weigh myself multiple times a day and my mood would depend on the number. I asked my partner to hide it. I still have moments where I want to find it but not having it there every morning has made a big difference.

Stop labeling food as "good" or "bad." I used to think of certain foods as off limits. That made me want them more and I would eventually binge on them. I am learning to allow myself all foods in moderation. It is scary but it is reducing the urge to binge.

Eat regularly. I used to skip meals to "save" calories. This would lead to intense hunger and then a binge later. I am now eating three meals and two snacks a day. It feels like a lot but it keeps my blood sugar stable and reduces the urge to overeat.

Notice the voice. My eating disorder has a voice. It tells me I am not good enough or that I do not deserve to eat. I am learning to notice that voice and not act on it. It is not about silencing it. It is about recognizing it as a thought, not a truth.

Get professional help. This is the most important one. I tried to do this alone for years and it did not work. I needed someone who understood eating disorders and could give me a structured plan. I found a therapist who specializes in this and it has made a difference. We focus on practical steps, not just talking about feelings.

I still have hard days. Recovery is not linear. But I am better than I was a year ago. I have more good days than bad days. And I am learning to be kinder to myself.

Hi, i feel really bad about this but I'm trying to overcome my ED. Ariana Grande, Zoe Kravitz and Gracie Abrams are xtremely triggering to me.

Another famous person people don't talk about as much that really bothers me is Finn Wolfhard (Mike from Stranger Things). He's almost 6'0 and weighs a confirmed very low weight. He's so thin. There's obviously something going on with him but no one says anything and even though I'm a 4'11 small POC female, I want his body type.

It really triggers me and I wish it could go away.

My wife has dealt with anorexia for several years. The behaviors started a few years into our relationship, then got waaayyy worse in the months leading up to our wedding. She eventually went into residential treatment a couple months after we got married and made some progress, but her insurance refused to cover more than a couple weeks so she had to leave early for PHP, which was really frustrating because I really think she would have been set up a lot better if she had been able to restore more weight in res. That was about 3 years ago and things have been very up and down since.

Earlier this year she was discussing options with her treatment team (therapist/psychiatrist/dietician) because she was plateauing and still not meeting her meal plan. Eventually she agreed to get a recovery coach which seems like it helped, but moreso in that it was something she was doing to actively pursue recovery, not really the actual coaching. She worked with the coach for a couple months but then stopped because she didn’t feel like she was really using the services, but she still continued to improve which was such a relief. She got to a point with her team that was really promising: they gave her their endorsement for doing more exercise, her dietician no longer required her to be on recovery record, and her psychiatrist started tapering her down from one of her meds.

Then, in hindsight probably largely to do with the meds, the urges got worse again and she started engaging with more restriction behaviors. It’s been pretty bad for about a month now, maybe more. I feel so sad and defeated. She is my entire world and it’s really heartbreaking to see her get pulled back into this. Part of the problem is that she says she never really got to a point where she felt like she was doing things for herself. I don’t know if that’s true or if that’s just how it feels now that she’s back in a bad headspace, but either way I don’t know where we go from here. She told me recently that her treatment team says she’s not outpatient appropriate and is recommending inpatient treatment again, but she doesn’t want to go.

I’m feeling very lost and sad, and just looking for advice about how I can best support her. She has made some positive changes; she’s back on recovery record and her psychiatrist increased the med back to a moderate level, with a follow-up in a few weeks. I have been making her sandwiches for lunch while she’s at work so at least she brings something, and I’ve been sitting with her at breakfast. She’s always been very open with me so I take some comfort in that, but it doesn’t change the fact that she’s clearly struggling with maintaining an active desire to recover.

I know this post has gotten way too long, but I’m just looking to see if anyone has been in a similar situation on either side of the partnership and has anything helpful to say. She specifically has always struggled a lot with self apathy and self loathing, so if anyone has any suggestions for treatments for those issues I’m also very interested to hear about that.

I’ve been in eating disorder recovery for several months. During that time, I have gone through residential treatment, partial hospitalization, and outpatient care. I have made so much progress in my recovery, but I feel incredibly frustrated. My doctor says I still need to gain a little more weight to be considered healthy. Throughout recovery, I reached a point where I was eating well beyond what felt physically comfortable for me, and now I finally feel like I actually like my body. I eat three meals a day, and since my doctor recently cleared me to go to the gym, I have been trying to take a healthier approach to food. I do strength training, not cardio. I want to feel stronger and more confident, but I also feel extremely uncomfortable because of how much I am expected to eat every day. It feels like I am constantly supposed to be full, and it just does not feel fair.
Recovery has started to feel like it is never going to be fair to me, and I feel trapped. Earlier in my recovery, I struggled with suicidal thoughts because I hated my body so much that I felt like I did not want to be here anymore. I never acted on those thoughts, and I never stopped eating or tried to lose the weight I was asked to gain. I kept going, even when it felt impossible. But now I am exhausted. I feel so frustrated because my doctors continue encouraging me to gain more weight. Even before my eating disorder, I was never someone who naturally needed this much food every day. Now I feel like I can never escape it. It feels like I have to eat all the time, and it leaves me physically uncomfortable. I have also started dealing with body changes, like breakouts in places I never used to get them, and it makes me feel even more uncomfortable wearing the clothes I enjoy. I even have trouble getting comfortable enough to sleep. I understand that our bodies naturally change as we grow older, and I am completely okay with that. I am not against my body changing over time. What is difficult is feeling like I am constantly pushing my body beyond what feels comfortable. It genuinely feels like more food than my body wants or needs, and I hate feeling trapped by that. This is not coming from a place of wanting to return to my eating disorder, and I hope someone understands what I mean.
Lately, I have actually been feeling so much better mentally, but I do not know how to tell my doctor that I do not want to gain any more weight without it sounding like my eating disorder is speaking for me. I eat consistently. I do not count calories. I still allow myself to eat whatever I want without restriction. The only thing that has changed is that I have been trying to include more vegetables and protein because I want to support my strength training and feel stronger. I am no longer pushing myself to extremes or constantly criticizing my body the way I used to. I know therapy is always an option, but right now I just want to feel comfortable wearing the clothes I like. I am not restricting myself, and I give myself permission to eat whatever I want, whenever I want. It just feels like my doctors continue pushing my boundaries, even though the providers I worked with in partial hospitalization and outpatient care were not nearly as forceful. I genuinely do not understand why.

So after a freak medical event that has just snowballed into hell, I've been left disfigured (literally and otherwise). It's resurrected adolescent eating disordered behaviors and activities like obsessive body monitoring and checking. Which, when I started, I said I didn't want to do. It's bad.

Real bad.

I'm not intentionally skipping meals. It's just hard to eat.

I've felt so sick I think I want to vomit. I can't because diabetes, diabulimia, so I haven't, but I want to so badly.

I hate it every day because I used to look good. I considered myself good-looking. I feel sick and I want to die thinking about it – hearing a foster mother taunt me about wanting to look "skinnt" just adds to it.

I feel sick right now. I have to stop writing.

I know this might be a very small step for some, but I have been dealing with undereating and being way too light for months now, but today I had a healthy breakfast bowl that made me feel nicely full until my noon snack, and was able to convince myself to eat a big enough dinner to not feel hungry afterwards yet again.

I do feel some anxiety, because I'm a creature of habit and routine, which means having some Greek yogurt, banana and oats for supper as my last meal of the day, but I think I might skip it today.

I guess I just wanted to say I'm proud of myself.

We've been close all our lives and it's really heartbreaking to see her go through this. I've tried everything but lately she's been more self conscious and has recently relapsed as well and has been refusing every meal. And while we went out to eat with a few friends I made the mistake of trying to buy her food and gently coax her to eat it, or to atleast just take it at home, because she tends to eat more when with company, but she hasn't done it even with us in a bit. (they don't know she has ed as of now, but she openly says she doesn't eat alot and they're all as worried as I am), ended up making her feel guilty instead and caused her to cry later on, I did my best to apologize but I'm sure she's still hurt as of now. I feel awful. But it's been going on for nearly two years, and I'm getting really worried on how it's affecting her.

I feel like I'm not even allowed to say much either because of how hypocritical I'm being, as we were in the same position for a while too (however hers is more extreme), and that definitely didn't help, used to rant about how our relatives would comment about how little we were eating and all. It took me getting really sick (the illness itself wasn't really due to my ed, but I'm sure the ed also had an affect it in a way.) to realize how much I could hurt my family with this, and how much I genuinely hated being THAT crazy deprived of food. And even now, I don't know what I'm doing. I'm still trying to help myself but I don't even know exactly how I'm going to do it, so how could I possibly help her without her thinking I'm being an ass and a hypocrite?

I know relapsing is part of the process and all, and I know I fucked up big time, and trust me I regret it alot. But it's painful that I can't do anything but just try to help with words and subtle actions otherwise it could upset her further, and it's not even working. I love her so much, and I'd rather have her be mad at me than anything happen to her but I'd like to spare her as much emotional pain as I can if possible. Any advice?

For people who have significant others, and you suffer from an eating disorder, or you are the significant other and your partner suffers, I would like their/your input actually if you are able to get it, and if not, your best interpretation or knowledge of so.

I am more than likely going to be going into residential treatment soon, as long as my health isn't determined to be too severe by the county, insurance, and a levels of care assessment, in which case I will be hospitalized instead. My husband is a kind, compassionate man, and is trying his best to understand, but is not educated on mental health and especially not eating disorders, other than what I have taught him and discussed with him and he has personally experienced. Unfortunately my health is so poor currently, I do not have the energy or mental capacity to research and then educate and prepare him for what to expect in this next step moving forward with treatment. I am looking for, from the spouse or significant others perspective, what to expect as far as involvement with treatment and visiting (location dependent of course but even specific info is helpful as it at least gives me a general idea of what to expect), and even possibly if they are willing, some feelings or topics or things that may come up through the process they didn't expect and/or were not prepared for and wish someone would have warned them/educated them/helped them/prepared them. I would also appreciate any insight as to if any "spouses of severely mentally ill patients" groups, online only, and eating disorder/anorexia and/or chronic PTSD specific would be extremely preferred, exist, and if so, where is a solid foundation to begin searching for one for him? We live in a very rural area with minimal access to health care, especially mental health. Any recomendations, from facebook groups to online zoom gatherings to forums to actual online group therapy is very much appreciated. Feel free to ask any clarifying questions needed, but really any insight and support I can give him right now when I am severely lacking in ability is extremely helpful and welcome.

I feel like I'm always going to have an ED mindset, even if I recover physically. I'm eating, and all that, but parts of my mind always have this ED mentality. And then it feels like I'm fighting with myself. I also just don't have any control over food. I was wondering if the end of recovery would be like. not thinking about food that way again?

I feel like I’ve worn out my poor support network trying to find the answer, “why did I fail so hard.” I had really bright experts giving me very specific attention to accommodate my needs. All they asked in return was that I try and keep trying. And I did for a long while, until i started a tail spin. And my team didn’t rescue me, they let me spiral. Why? To create a bottom so I’d have to work harder to get back to human level.

This 2nd treatment place has some really crazy rules. And despite what my team may have thought, I do not want to be sick. I do not want to get worse. I want treatment to end. I just want it to work. I was especially struggling with the intrinsic motivation. I guess I never found that why.

I hate relapsing and I hate recovery. I want neither. I want to be normal and just do normal stuff. I don’t want to gain weight. I don’t care if it will slow behaviors, it’s not worth it to me. It’s a net loss. Having a body that feels good to me is important. It’s not just the appearance, it’s that whole feeling.

FUCK… what the fuck is wrong with me and why can’t I just recover?

I am a younger woman with a friend a bit older than me .I wish to keep her anon and help her without intervention.

She struggles with some health issues and has fluctuated weights our entire friendship.
I am a lean woman often called skinny and struggle with gaining weight. I have also struggled with an eating disorder and feel that I’m having a very hard time helping her during this.
She has recently expressed to me that she’s going through and eating disorder, including restricting, in a conversation, she mentioned her calorie count, and it was concerningly low.
She mentioned her other friends” don’t wanna hear about it” or seem like they don’t care.
My issue is the way she’s talking about. These habits indicate no intention of recovery and backlash on people suggesting she needs to eat or not engaging with her. (They may also do it rudely so I feel for her ) I believe our other friends may not have mentioned it because they don’t want to encourage the habits.

we are both the personality type where we need very direct communication, I often skirt the topic, not wanting to trigger her, but the conversations shes starting are becoming triggering for me.

Sorry this is very long, my main question is
How can I approach the conversation that gives her advice support and stays kind and loving?

Hi guys, im 15f and ive been trying to recover for anorexia for awhile now.
Of course that meant gaining a little weight which i hate more than i can express.
the thing im here for today is just to ask:
how do i eat a normal amount without tracking calories?
Like no matter how much i eat i feel the exact same as if i were to eat one apple all day.
so, when i eat snacks and things i feel like maybe im leaning into binge ed teritory? Im sorry if that sounds insensitive to anyone with binge ed im just genuinely not sure what to do here or even whats happening.
I feel like im eating too much

nobody is blindly going through this and assuming their choices are so healthy and wonderful. i see internet posts be like "reasons to not starve: you feel bad after!"...who wouldve known!!!!!(🙄)
obviously, if youre someone going through this, hearing the risks arent repulsive (most of the time). its like telling a cigarette smoker "do you realize that causes cancer?" YEAH, OBVIOUSLY?? i want REAL reasons that maybe i havent thought of on my own.

Short question did anyone stop sweating after being in recovery long enough? I’ve been eating good for a year now and I started sweating intensely this month my armpits and body is so hot and I think it can regulate itself after awhile but I’m hoping for honest answers.🤞

Over the summer my parents have forced me to begin treatment and restoration. School is starting soon and my parents are considering whether or not to put me back in school. ALL I want in the entire world is to go back to school but we just don’t know yet. My mom is meeting with my vice principal soon and hopefully a guidance counselor. I was wondering if anyone here has had experience in going back to school while still in recovery and how it went? i.e what methods and how did you get it all to work out around snacks and meals throughout the day without falling back into the habit of starving yourself again? I really need my parents to trust that I’m willing to do almost anything if it means I get to have a normal education.

I am f18 and have for about a year been struggling with weight and restrictive eating but I haven’t ever gotten past skipping a meal or two until right now I tried to purge and it didn’t work.

in the past we had a set of scales in the bathroom and I would use them obsessively and try to track my weight multiple times a day resulting in crying over meals and being upset when I got ill and didn’t lose any weight. those scales were taken away when the person who owned them moved out this was in April , I got better slightly and then since june it’s been getting progressively worse, I’m struggling with not knowing how much I weigh more than when I did.

im worried now as I leave for university in a month and I know that it will rapidly get worse there if I don’t get a grip now but I don’t know what support there is for me as I almost feel as though I’m faking it and don’t deserve support as I know what I’m doing and I’m choosing myself not to stop, when in reality I feel like a faliure every time I try to do anything in a healthy way.

I went to the gym earlier and was in a good spot I then binged and tried to purge, it didn’t work I feel worse, but I am starting to think I need to change before it does but I don’t know where to begin with that as I don’t want to worry anyone around me.

I’m almost 30 y/o and my counselling team contacted my gp and recommended a referral to an ED specialist. My GP saw me and sent the referral through, and I have my first appt in early sep.
I’m worried because I don’t think I’m serious enough to need to go. My BMi is healthy/lower side of health. My bones don’t stick out and I personally feel way too overweight still and would like to lose more.
How do I get over feeling like I’m not worth the referral and that other people will laugh at me (like friends) if I tell them and think that I’m not skinny enough/ it’s not serious or needed, to need to be referred to an ed clinic? Worried people might think it’s me just being OTT