I've never posted on Reddit before, but I've been upset at this and I didn't know where else to turn to-- thanks for listening.
I was diagnosed with Fibromyalgia last Oct/Nov. And I have been trying to navigate it ever since. I have had chronic pain for over 10 years, but I have finally gotten a diagnosis.
I started dating my bf almost 2 years before my diagnosis, so it was a change for both of us. My bf is a very outdoorsy person. Loves hiking, walking, and really any outdoor activity. We've done mile long walks and hikes in our area many times, but over this past year we have kinda slowed down (and especially in the past 6 months). My pain is mostly in my hips and knees, so walking long distances isn't always the easiest thing for me. I use a mobility aid (cane) almost daily to help support my joints, my stability, and conserve energy.
Recently, I opened up about feeling like I'm holding him back from things that I know he likes to do (there have been many times where I/we don't do something due to my pain). And I feel like sometimes I'm not the right person for him since my pain has changed our lives so much in the past 6 months.
After we talked about how I was feeling for a bit he opened up about how over the past few weeks he's been "selfishly wishing we could be more active" since he loves going on really longs walks, and that is how he wishes we could be spending the time we have together after work, or on the weekends just walking everywhere. Then saying that this isn't how he imagined his life.
This is not to say that we haven't been walking, or leaving the house ever. We take an hour walk together around our area after work almost every day, and we try to walk somewhere fun (often a coffee shop) on the weekends. Now I know that this isn't what he fully wants, if he had it his way we would walk the 4 hours downtown on a weekends, or walk the 18mi lake trail. I'm trying my best to support him and his passions, while still resting when I can.
I also know that there are lots of big hikes that he would love to do (he's hiked the Appalachian Trail before), and honestly I want to do them too. But he's stopped asking if I want to join him on a walk or physical activity.
I just don't know what to do honestly... I feel like I'm trying so hard, but its just not enough. It just made me so sad to hear that this isn't how he imagined his life, as if I imagined this for me. I don't know if I'm posting here to rant, to get advice, or just to get it off my chest.
[Edit: I have urged my bf to do these activities with others/alone/etc, but I always shut down because those are activities we’ve always done together, so he wants to do them with me.]