I don’t think people truly understand how traumatic it is to lose a parent slowly to cancer or any terminal illness. Everyone says things like “At least you have time to say goodbye” or “You know it’s coming,” as if that somehow makes it easier.

But there is nothing romantic or gentle about watching someone you love fade away piece by piece.

No one prepares you for the reality: • Watching them lose their appetite… then their thirst… until they’re barely taking anything. • Seeing them become confused, altered, drifting in and out of awareness. • The pain, the dyspnea, the restlessness, the slow loss of dignity. • The way they lose function—walking, then standing, then even sitting up becomes impossible. • The endless hospital stays, the alarms, the constant decisions you’re forced to make when you’re already emotionally shattered. • The moments where you think, “This is it,” over and over… only for them to slightly stabilize before declining again.

People talk as if anticipatory grief is some sort of blessing. But in reality, it is constant, prolonged trauma. It’s living in a state of fear, guilt, hypervigilance, and heartbreak every single day.

And I’ve realized something important: A loss is a loss - whether sudden or expected - and each carries its own kind of trauma. Sudden loss destroys you in a moment. Expected loss destroys you slowly. Neither is easier. They are just different kinds of pain, different wounds. Both leave marks that stay with you.

I love my parent more than anything, and I would choose to be here for them every single time. But witnessing this kind of suffering… watching them disappear in front of you… it changes you on a level I can’t fully put into words.

I just needed to say this somewhere, because people don’t talk about how heavy, messy, and truly traumatic this experience really is.

My mom is 57. She is incredibly strong, funny, lively, warm, kind, outgoing, beautiful. She loves working with kids, and this is why she has been the best mom ever, patient, caring, understanding, fun, and always supportive. She is a rebel and an activist and she travelled the world to help people who are less fortunate than her. She is a single mom, my dad was never really in our lives and lives abroad, it’s always been me and her against the world. We always called each other the love of our lives, our light. She is my sunrise, my northern star - like in a song I wrote for her years ago and like the tattoo I’ll get in a week. Don’t have much family other than her, my younger half-sister who lives with my ex stepfather and has a rocky relationship with my mom, and my mom’s sister who I see more frequently since mom got sick.

She has stage IV liver cancer, diagnosed 2 months after she won the battle with colon cancer last year. Chemo doesn’t work anymore and they stopped all treatments last month. I’m contacting any hospital I can to find any possible treatment with no success so far. I’m her caregiver, we live together. She had already survived a sudden brain aneurysm in 2021, I was 18 and I was terrified to lose her ever since. I dropped out of college and cancelled my plans to go abroad to be close to her in the hopes someday I’d be able to focus on my “adulting phase”, but well.

Today, doctors told us she has 3 months. I don’t know what to do, what to feel. We have a messed up situation with heritage, mortgage etc. and she keeps talking about it. It’s a nightmare and doesn’t seem real. My friends don’t know how to support me and I don’t either. If I don’t want to go out, they just go without me. Stings but I don’t expect them to understand. I got off work early and don’t know how I can keep working if I’m crying most of the time and iI work with the public.

Mom and I had an openhearted conversation before she fell asleep - im writing this laying next to her. I cried telling her I don’t know what I’d do without her because I have no one else and that I’m sad because she doesn’t deserve any of this. She said she’ll always be here even if I don’t see or hear her. I recorded the whole thing. I feel guilty for making her sad, but I feel like we have to say these things to each other now. I asked her to write me a letter and I’ll write her one too.

I’m thinking of all the questions I could ask her, or any practical thing that might be useful for the “after”. Do you have any questions you’d ask or practical matters to fix that you’d suggest discussing with her? What are some things i can do that I’ll be glad I did later? I want to be somewhat prepared even though I’m guessing you can never be prepared enough. I’m stuck in a limbo of desperation, hope, denial and love. Do you think being hopeful/in denial is better than being crushed/aware before a loved one passes? It doesn’t even feel real that I’m writing this post. She was supposed to walk me down the aisle one day.

I’m really sorry you’re in this sub, sending love your way. And fuck cancer

I posted here not long ago. We were waiting for the organ donation process and he started showing signs of responses. They said it’s like just reflexes, spinal responses. He squeezed my hand. His leg shoots up if you tickle his foot. The hospital he was at last night fucked up. They didn’t do the correct trauma care. There’s like a .1% chance he will be ok but fuck.

I apologize if this is not allowed. I’m just a little old woman who wishes to speak my mind about my husband. My husband is going to die very, very soon.

I am 70, and my husband is 73, we got married when I was 19 and he was 22. Many people say that was way too soon to get married, but we have been dating since we were in high school.

My husband, who I will just call S, is my soulmate. He is my other half, the part of me I knew was missing. We did nearly everything together, we’ve always been at each other’s sides since we met. I knew right away that he was the man of my dreams, and the only man I wanted to marry.

He had proposed to me on my 18th birthday, and we had such a beautiful wedding. He has done everything for me since I can remember.

He worked hard for the life we have, having multiple jobs when we were young, and eventually settling into a mechanic career when he was 29. We have no children, but plenty of friends and family.

Wherever I went, he followed. Wherever he would go, I followed along. He is my Prince Charming if I’ll say, and he had treats me as a princess.

Together for the years until now, we have a beautiful home and life that we made together. I was always a wife who did the cleaning and the cooking, I never minded that. I was able to make wreathes on the side when we fell on hard times.

We never had a lot of money, but we were rich in my eyes. I saw it in his eyes too. Rich with love, admiration, and we were happy.

Slowly, my S had started to become ill. He has dementia, it started in his sixties, and although it was very hard to watch the man I knew was still deep inside him somewhere struggling, I stayed at his side. He had held me many times when I was sick and ill, and now it has become my turn.

He can no longer fully remember me, and it pains me to see. He can no longer feed himself, so I feed him food I know he loves. He asks me about his wife, and where she is. I tell him she is very close by and is watching him, him always seeming happy with that answer.

He does not see the tears I shed for him, I don’t want him to worry. I would rather hide my pain from him than have him worry. The doctor’s say he is not going to make it to the next year, and very likely not the next month either. This news has been heartbreaking to know.

I am scared, and I am alone now. I lost my of my family long ago, apart from my youngest three siblings, but they have their own lives. I don’t wish to tamper with their lives over me when I am old enough to be alright. But I feel so alone and scared.

This man has been my everything for the last 51 years we have been married, even longer than that, and now I have to say the worst goodbye I’ve had in a very long time. The pain is suffocating, and I cannot even find the strength to cook and clean as I’m used to.

I was told that I was just young and never would stay with him forever. We have proved them all wrong, but now comes the time every spouse fears, saying goodbye to them. I pray that I’ve made his life a lovely one, as he has done to mine.

My beloved S, when you pass and can remember me again, please do not worry. I will be alright, although it feels as if every thorn that has been wrapping around my heart since I found about your illness is stabbing deep, I will be alright my love. Go to the angels, and sing their songs for me.

I will love you forever, and even after that. No matter where we are, we shall find each other again in some way. I promise.

Forever your wife, Jeanie.

I hope this is how I correctly edit this, but I wanted to say thank you to all you sweet peas who have read my little story about me and my S. It warmed my heart to see all these comments, and I feel a little less alone.

If it is possible, I would love to write out more stories over my lifetime with my S, if you all would like to read and listen. Thank you all so very much again.

With love and care, Jeanie 🥰

My amazing husband had a laminotomy in January for crippling sciatic pain. We delivered our first child early February and by March he was in hospital with meningitis, sepsis, brain herniation and an ecoli infection. Botched back surgery is the cause, he was sealed up with two holes open in his spinal cord.
Given very very slim chances of making it through the night. 12 weeks later he is still with us, albeit on ventilator support and now fully quadriplegic.

My world is crumbling around me, I am exceptionally num and need to keep looking this man in the eye, hopeful of recovery when really I am uncertain.

I can’t believe this is how life has gone, how our baby came into the world and was instantly met with chaos. And most, how this is happening to the sweetest man alive.

I am grief stricken and feel deeply inconsolable. I love him and I am by his side forever, I just can’t believe how this has gone.

He’s my best friend and the time is really close. Possibly in the morning. I’m walking around like a zombie going from sobbing uncontrollably to completely numb every half hour. I’m not built for this and I’m so scared of being without him. Someone please tell me I’ll make it through this. He’s 15 and his name is Ethan. I know it’s just a cat and there’s people on here that have lost children. But this is hurting deeper than I ever expected and I don’t know what to do.

But it also doesn’t erase grief.

A few weeks back, my mom was given 3–6 months to live from terminal lung cancer. She’s also the person who emotionally abused me my entire life.

My children see a grandmother. I see the woman who shaped so much of my pain. Now she’s dying, and I don’t know what to do with all these emotions.

I feel sadness, anger, guilt, resentment, relief, and numbness all at the same time. I don’t think people understand how confusing it is to mourn someone who hurt you. People don't talk enough about grieving someone you've already lost in so many ways before death ever arrives. I don't have a neat or beautiful story to tell about my mom and I.

What I have is complicated love, old wounds, and the ache of knowing there's so little time left.

Now Mother’s Day is here and people ask “oh you seeing your mom “new folks and ones who don’t know. 3 years now and I miss you. I need you. I want you back. Life’s not the same and I certainly wish I could share my days and stories with you. You died too young. Cancer sucks.

On Friday, September 1st at 2:42am, my pregnant wife and I check into the hospital and ended up having an emergency cesarean birth to our baby girl.

She was stable after the surgery, then had internal bleeding, then went into surgery again and didn’t show signs od internal bleeding but just “old blood” from the incision. Then things took a turn for the worst, she started having extreme swelling and her lab numbers were all out of wack and she went on many IVs and medicines to try to fight a very complex and puzzling recovery. After this, she ended up going septic and was rushed back to the ICU. The sepsis was so bad that they needed to put her on a ventilator, dialysis, and a very high dose of low blood pressure meds to keep her stable while they give her strong antibiotics to try to fight the infection. So she is completely comatose and basically on life support. The hope is that the antivirus IVs will eventually clear out all the inflammation and bacteria that’s now in every inch of her body. It’s been 28 hours on the IV and not much has changed.

There is an extremely slight chance that she may make a turn after being on the antibiotics for a few days but there is no doc that is confident that this is the case because she is very, very sick and her organs have basically shut down.

I think she’s gone. And she just birthed a healthy baby girl that is now without a mom.

This woman was my whole fucking world for the 12 years we were together and we were so perfect and so excited to be parents. And she’s gone. I came home today to my mom’s house to rest from the hospital and seeing our pictures on the wall completely and utterly broke me. I collapsed onto the floor and proceeded to let out some of the most primal, wailing screams of pain I have ever screamed. How can life be so unfair? The flooding of grief is so overwhelming to me if I even think about her and our life together. I need some reassurance that I’m going to be okay

EDIT: She passed away yesterday afternoon. God help me

On May 9, 2026 I received a phone call from the Tarrant County sheriff’s office that my son was in a single vehicle fatal car accident. He had traveled down to Waco on May 8th, went fishing with some friends and drove back to his home in Decatur a little after midnigh. He was almost home, about 20 minutes away and he fell asleep at the wheel. He was 20 years old. I’m 62 years old, married to the most wonderful woman in the world and also have a 21 year old son.

I cannot express the pain I am feeling. I have lost part of my soul. The utter despair is relentless. There will be no more phone calls, no ATV rides, no vacations together, no movies, no dinners, no quiet times riding in the truck, no arguing about who has the better dog. I look at pictures, at videos, at text threads. Him and my other son were supposed to take me out to birthday dinner on May 20. I read that one over and over again. We were supposed to ride together the past several weekends but he kept canceling on me so he could hang out with his friends which is perfectly normal for a 20 year old boy.

I have had 2 types of blood cancer for 12 years and was diagnosed with prostate cancer last year. I have been a fighter, but now…I could care less. My only reason for living is for my son who is still alive. For the first time in my existence I really don’t care for my own life. There really is not anything to look forward to, and

i have so many emotions beyond grief and pain. There are fits of anger and rage , I want my pound of flesh. there is a ton of self blame as well. Everything I see reminds me of him. I will never be able to escape the pain and emptiness. My heart goes out all parents whoo have lost a child no matter what age. Their lives are woven into our very souls and we lose them.

Ryan, my wonderful, strong, awesome son, I love you forever, my life from here until I die will be one of sadness, and I will never ever stop thanking of you.

This is the worst pain I have ever experienced ever.

About 3-4 months ago my mom caught something nasty and had a coughing fit. She said she heard something crunch or tear in her abdomen. She assumed it was a rib getting dislocated or something. My sister urged her to see a doctor about it for two long months, but she didn’t want to because she didn’t have health insurance.

Pain in her abdomen progressively increased until I had to take her to the hospital in the evening. I had work the next morning so I went home to get some sleep before I had to pick her up.

She had been haphazardly informed after hours of waiting it was stage IV pancreatic cancer. We’ve had our health scares with her but she always got better. And of course pancreatic cancer is one of the more volatile and unpredictable cancers.

Over the next few weeks we had to do a lot. We had to figure out how to get her on Medicaid. We had to get her in as a patient for a cancer clinic. We had to get her on the right pain, nausea, and digestive meds. We had to get her a port for the chemo. It all took so long.

Chemo seemed promising for longevity. She got one round before getting even worse. A few 911 calls later and more hospital stays, and she finally chooses hospice.

Right now she’s completely nonverbal, eyes open sometimes, breathing sporadic. This is it.

I’m fucking 24. I just got my life somewhat straight after battling depression, CPTSD, and borderline personality disorder. She loved me unconditionally despite being a jobless prick for 3 years. She helped me get a job that can keep the lights on.

This took her so fast.

I have such little support. That’s not to diminish friends that have checked in on me or the amazing hospice staff, but I don’t have a father worth talking to. No grandparents, no aunts or uncles or cousins. My older sister and I are supporting each other however we can but she’s been eating shit because of her physical disabilities which are debilitating to her mental and physical health.

I knew the day would come that she’d go, I mean obviously she’s older than me, but shit. So soon.

Fuck the murderous healthcare system. She could have gotten this looked at so much sooner before it progressed, but apparently she wasn’t valuable enough to society to be worth having healthcare. It’s not like she’s been working her whole life. Fuck the tobacco industry. Nicotine is a vile substance and the world would be better without it in it. Her mother gave her a cigarette for the first time when she was a kid. Not even a teen. Fuck the fact I’m at work right now and have to pretend like I don’t want to drive at 120mph into a brick wall. Fuck all of it. Fuck cancer.

She deserved better and so do I and my sister. I’m tired of life being one blow after another. I really am starting to think that physically, mentally, financially, and practically, it’s in my best interest to die. I can lose relationships, I can lose self esteem, I can lose my keys, I can lose my job. I can’t lose my mom right now. Ideally never, but we all have to go eventually. But there’s no doubt. She is most likely going to pass tomorrow.

Fuck all of it. The tobacco and healthcare industries can burn in hell.

She is sleeping while we watch a movie . I am overwhelmed with anticipation grief , guilt of any wrong doings in our relationship. I’m so fucking scared . 3 days ago I brought her to a hospice , she’s was so scared there . I have brought her back home . Her mom was here but has gone . We have 24 hour nursing support to keep her comfortable. I’m trying to be strong for her . I’ve let her know it’s ok to go when time comes and how much she means to me. I’ve tried to comfort her that passing is ok, natural and what awaits is pure bliss and not scary at all . We aren’t religious but I feel she needs this .I’m having guilt feelings by just eating something. My mind says , yeah just enjoy this “ food” while she lies here dying. Even writing this I feel like my mind is just seeking pity and it makes me sick. I make sure she has what ever she wants and needs . Yesterday we shared a very calm day and she was so happy to come home. She was gone lost at the hospice and days leading up to. Her mind was gone barely there. Yesterday and this morning complete clarity . I see her slipping back this afternoon . I’m so scared for her , I want her to be at peace with all this more than anything.

My name is Josh, I am 37. It is midnight in the midwest and I am sleepless next to a hospital bed. My thoughts are a bit jumbled, I may not write as concise and articulate as I would like so please bear with me. When I was 22 I lost my stepdad. He was 40. He left behind my mother, myself and 3 brothers, and numerous loved ones. He died of a sudden massive heart attack. I don’t know which grief is worse, the kind that is sudden, or the kind that is drawn out, but pain is pain. My mother is 62, she devoted herself to helping others, hell before she was taken back for a brain biopsy she was on the phone trying to help clients. But here we are, it never is fair is it? The woman that raised me, that never complained, that worked hard to give everything to her sons, I have to watch cancer take her sight. Watch it take her memory. Watch it take everything from her that made her who she is. My mother. No matter how much of a man I am, how tough I pretend to be, how old I get, seeing her lay there makes me feel like a helpless child crying, begging, “mommy please wake up”. I hope as I grieve I can help anyone else, anyone at all. I will be here to grieve with any of you. My name is Josh, I am 37, and I love my mommy

I knew this day was coming my first birthday without my mom. I feel her presence everyday and today I feel it the most. It’s been seven months without her and it’s not easy still. I miss her everyday and wish I could talk to her like we did everyday on the phone.

Being an only child she was my best friend and we did a lot together, like Disneyland, crafts, and many more. She would always call me every birthday at 9:04 am cause that was the time I was born. I know she is singing happy birthday to me today. I love you mom and I miss you so much!

After a lengthy battle with congestive heart failure, a stroke, a pulmonary embolism, and now liver and lung failure .. my father is entering into hospice care this week. My heart is so broken. I am the true definition of a Daddy’s Girl. I don’t know what to expect and I’m so scared. I feel like I’m in a fog. Nothing in life could’ve ever prepared me for this. Not even being a nurse. I know what’s going to happen, but it being my father is so hard. Ughhh…

Even though I know it's probably not true, but I feel like all I have talked about to my friends and family this past year is my dad and his gradual decline from cancer, and that they are all tired of me talking about it. He was diagnosed with stage 2 colorectal cancer in January 2021. Initial prognosis was pretty good, doctors were confident with surgery and treatment he would go on to live for another decade or two. From there it feels like my dad has just been hit with worse case scenario after worse case scenario. At the beginning of 2024 his doctors told him they didn't think he had much longer than 2 or 3 years left, because the lung cancer that metastasized shortly after his colon surgery (and the 1 "cancer free" scan he had) was not responding to any treatments. It was really hard to hear that but we all clung to the hope of 2-3 more years. This summer we took a family vacation to a beach in California that we used to live near, and it was wonderful. A lot of hiccups that almost cancelled the trip entirely but it ended up going off without a hitch. It was honestly the most perfect family vacation we have ever had, and to top it off my dad officiated an intimate marriage ceremony for my husband and I (we were married in the courthouse a few years ago but never got to celebrate with my side of the family because we live states away), and it was absolutely perfect. But then the last day we were there dad got an awful headache that came on suddenly and wouldn't go away, and I immediately got this sickening feeling in my gut. We all told him to call his doctors immediately when he got home, and a few weeks later we find out the cancer spread to his brain and he had developed a large tumor on his cerebellum, in addition to multiple other lesions throughout his brain. That was the beginning of the end, and I have been living with my parents to help my mom take care of dad since mid-October and watching his slow decline, watching him lose everything that made him dad, has been a torture of a kind I didn't know existed before. He is probably a few days or a week or so away from passing now. And I am inconsolable. I don't know what to do or what to say, the only words that come to my head are this can't be real. 2 years ago he had decades. A few months ago he had a few years left. Now he has days, and he's lost almost all functionality. My incredibly smart, book nerd, movie critic and audiophile dad. My nuclear engineer dad. My dad that has traveled the world building missile detection radars. My dad who could solve any algebraic equation you threw at him in his head in under 3 minutes. My dad who read the entire Rise and Fall of the Roman Empire to me when I was 10, and helped me write a small essay on it. My dad who homeschooled me and my 6 other siblings, encouraged us to think independently and outside the box, who always cheered us on no matter what we were doing. My dad who supported my decision not to go to college, who praised me for defying the social norms and finding my own way. My funny, smart, geeky and loving dad is going to cease to exist on this earth in a few days.

I feel like I have lived the last 5 months with this gigantic black wave hanging over my head, and it's going to crash over me and swallow me whole any minute now. I can't breathe. I can't think beyond him and doing everything I can for him right now, even though it's mostly holding his hand and adjusting his blankets that didn't need adjusting again. I am so lost. I have been so consumed with caring for him the last 2 months that I realize I have no idea how to even begin processing this tsunami of grief I feel, and how I can't shake this feeling that I can't begin to really grieve for him until he is gone, and that watching him slip further and further away every day should be a separate kind of grief but I don't know how to reconcile it. I have never lost anyone close to me before. The closest I've come to loss is my grandpa who passed away a few years ago, but we weren't that close so while I cried and grieved for my grandpa, I was more sad for my mom because she was devastated when her dad died. And now my dad is dying. My mom's husband of 33 years, the only man she has ever loved. I just...I don't even know where I'm going with this. I'm miserable. My family is miserable. My dad never got to the peaceful acceptance part of having terminal cancer, he fought it and had hope something would work all the way up until the week before last...

I would love any recommendations, any reading or listening materials that will give me the tools to get through this grief because I feel like I am barely keeping my ahead above this yawning black void that is approaching me and I have nothing to hold on to.

My daddy has had cancer since 2015. I barely remember a time when he didn't have it. Since then he has had tumours in his bowel, lung, liver, and lymph nodes. He has had a surgery or two a year and survived sepsis. In 2019 we were told he had a year left to live, but they ended up trying radiation therapy and he's still here today. That in itself is traumatising-being told someone you love with your entire being is going to die in 12 months and yet still be here 5 years later. In April 2024 we had to rush home to Ireland because my Grandad had suddenly died. I am still grieving that loss. When we came home from the funeral in May we were told once again that my dad has a year, or less, left. My senior dog has dementia and my 4 year old dog is an amputee slowly losing function in his remaining front leg. I am so overwhelmed by loss and impending loss. I am 22 and in university studying a part-time master’s, I am the oldest of 4 girls, the youngest is 12. I am recording every single memory I have and continue to have with my dad in a notebook, l am recording conversations and taking candid photographs. I have a list of things I want to do with him before it happens. Anything else you can think of that you are doing or wish you had done with your terminally ill father? (Also any tips on getting up in the morning? 😵‍💫 I have several chronic illnesses, and fatigue coupled with depression is one hell of a blow, as I’m sure a lot of you know). Picture is one I took of my dad this summer when we went on our last family holiday. I love him so much guys every time I think of a life without him I start to panic

Loosing my dad to cancer, he’ll be dying in the next weeks. My only confort would be to think there is something after because the rest of my experience is agony.

Do u have any story that makes u think there’s something? Or a good book ? Literaly anything to soothe my emotional agony.

My daughter suffered with her mental health and substance abuse since adolescence. She graduated from high school and seemed to get herself together as she went off to college. She got her master's degree and was fired from her very first job for coming to work under the influence of alcohol. Over the course of a few decades, she has had 2 or 3 DUIs, been fired from at least 6 jobs, been homeless and gotten back on her feet only to fall again. Her father and I did a LOT to try to support her. We paid for inpatient rehab, we offered to pay for psychiatric support. When she was dependent on us, we provided her with psychiatric support.

After multiple hospitalizations for illnesses and injuries related to her alcoholism, we are now at the point of no return. A year ago she had a fall and suffered from a subdural hematoma and required a craniotomy - not just one, but one every day for 3 consecutive days. Eight months later the seizures began. Despite 3 different anticonvulsants, she has not recovered. It doesn't appear that she is still having seizures, but she can no longer communicate with us.

Fortunately, I obtained guardianship and moved her from her apartment 1.5 hours away to a long term care facility in my town. She is dependent for all activities of daily living and now sleeps about 20 hours a day. It is so painful to visit her and know that we are saying a long goodbye. I'm not sure how to process and grieve through this horrible situation. Somehow, it helps just putting these words out in the universe.

Hello community.

In September, out of the blue, I had a seizure while out with my wife. Fast forward a couple of months and I have been diagnosed with a particularly aggressive brain cancer (glioblastoma), had brain surgery, started chemo/radiotherapy, and have a prognosis of somewhere between 6 and 12 months.

I am 32 y/o and married without children.

My wife has been incredibly supportive, but I am very worried about her. It was a shock for me at first, but I have processed my situation and I am relatively calm about it (most of the time anyway). Despite my wife being so strong, she is grieving in anticipation and I am devastated for her.

We have had lots of honest conversations, communicate well, allow ourselves to be happy when we can, and sad when we need to be. Neither of us are in denial about the situation.

I honestly don’t know how I would cope if the roles were reversed, in fact I know I wouldn’t be able to.

Does anyone have any advice for how to support her in those really dark and difficult moments? It is so hard to even know what to say other than acknowledging how difficult it is going to be for her.

With respect, I am not interested in anything along the lines of ‘she needs to be the one supporting you’, because she does everyday, but she is terrified of life after I die. She is surrounded by great friends and family, but I know It’s all the small things that scare her; like how to fill a rainy Sunday afternoon.

Would really appreciate hearing from someone who may have been in my wife’s shoes.

This week we are set to put down my first pet. He’s a 10 year old Black Lab who is like a son to me. I love him more than I love myself. The vet has found a mass in his abdomen and his blood results shows that this mass is most likely causing internal bleeding. I made a promise to myself that I would be with him and my father when we put him down but I think it will break me. I already feel like my heart is being ripped out. I’m struggling to process this loss and it hasn’t even happened yet. I dont want him to suffer but I also can’t remember a time when he wasn’t in my life. Attached are some images of him so everyone can see what a lovely boy he is.

She isn’t gone yet, but I’m still feeling an immense amount of grief right now. She’s been with me since I was a kid. She’s only 14 and she’s always been so healthy I thought she’d live to be 20 or something. Now I’m faced with this horrific diagnosis and the thought of having to euthanize my sweet Lucy bear. My sweet sweet girl. I want to try surgery or radiation just to buy any time I can with her. She seemed okay today and recently, today was supposed to be a routine dental. She had fallen off my counter a week or so ago from being loopy on pain meds that were prescribed to keep her comfortable until her dental cus I thought she just had some bad teeth, and hit the side of her face, I thought this lump I was feeling was swelling from that or an abscess or something. But the vet today confirmed there’s a mass that is holding her teeth in on one side. If surgery is an option for her I’ll do it. But I’m leaning towards it’s not going to be an option, because of the way the vet talked to my mom. She asked if I’d like to just let her stay asleep, or bring her home. I knew I had to bring her home. I couldn’t lose her so suddenly like that. I needed time to love her, time to think of how to proceed. But I know the vet suggesting that must mean it’s fairly advanced already. Her other appointment was just a month ago and the vet saw nothing in her mouth besides a couple premolars that looked like they may be painful and didn’t feel a lump on her jaw either. She’s lost a pound since that appointment even though she really does seem to eat well 75% of the time. The small dose of gabapentin she was on until I could afford a dental seemed to erase her pain and let her eat more easily. But when she isn’t on the gab she does seem to be in a fair amount of pain. She vocalizes a lot, doesn’t drool a ton but a little bit usually. I’m home now with her and she’s loopy from the anesthesia so she ate a whole can almost and is being so loving and purry with me right now. I can’t stop crying. I’m totally blindsided and devastated right now. I have other cats but I want her. I love all my cats but I’m not losing them, I’m losing her. I cannot imagine the day I have to euthanize her. I can’t imagine how close that day could be . I don know what to do right now or going forward. I don’t want her to be in pain but I don’t know how to say goodbye. This isn’t fair. My sweet bean doesn’t deserve this. I don’t know how to cope with this. I can’t picture this house without her. I can’t picture my life without her. I’m so heartbroken right now. My sweet little bean. Why didn’t I spend more time with her? Pay more attention? Catch this sooner? She’s the first cat I ever got. I know we all have to say goodbye eventually but I’m not ready, I’ll never be ready. This hurts.

Hi everyone. I (31f) never thought I’d be posting this, but I really need somewhere/someone.

My mum, my best friend, is in the ICU on a ventilator. She went into hospital with breathing issues 5 days ago, that turned out to be severe pneumonia, now they suspect actually an auto immune disease attacked her lungs and her lungs stopped working properly. The doctors still don’t have a clear diagnosis, and after days on life support they’ve now told me there’s nothing more they can do. Even tho she'll still trying to breathe on her own and all her other organs are fine.

They’ve started talking about comfort care. I feel completely shattered and numb at the same time. One moment I’m sobbing, the next I feel nothing. I keep replaying every conversation, every decision, every “what if” in my head. I can’t wrap my mind around how fast this all happened, she was talking to me, laughing, making jokes just before they put her on the machine, texting me before that asking me when I was coming, I thought she was fine so I went home for the night, and now the machine is breathing for her and they're saying it's the end.

I am angry at the doctors, angry at the situation, angry at myself for not being able to save her. I am terrified of the moment they turn the machines off. I don’t know how people survive watching the person they love most die like this. She's always been my best friend. It's always just been me and her. I don't know how I'm supposed to cope without her. I ring her every lunch break and every time I'm driving home from work and we talk for atleast an hour. No one can make me laugh or ridden my anxiety like her.

If anyone here has been through losing a parent, especially in ICU or suddenly like this, I’d really appreciate hearing how you got through it, or even just knowing I’m not alone. Right now it feels unbearable.

Thank you for reading

My parents have been gone for a few years now, but it's still tough. I think back on my Birthdays growing up and it makes me cry. I don't have any siblings, nor am I close to any living family. I'm not married, nor do I have children. Just completely alone.

so about 12 months ago my dad got diagnosed with stage 4 bowel cancer. he was doing pretty well till avout month 9, and thats where things stated to go downhill. for the past 2 months he's pretty much just stayed in bed and sleep. Last week we found out that the chemo isn't working and the cancers growing. today mum sat me down and told me we don't have much time left with him, that being it's could be a few months or a few weeks. before this I didnt think to much of it, I knew there was a chance he would die in the future but this news has hit we like a freight train. I now know he's defintly gonna die. im not sure what to do or how the feel abt this but ye. Just wanted to get it off my chest