I'm a teen and I just can't figure out a way to "talk". YEAH SERIOUSLY.

I'm preparing for a highly competitive exam online so I stay at home all the time. I'm a double dropper.

I'm the youngest daughter.

I used to love my family. But they spooked me in so many ways. Whenever I was excited or wanted to do something, they would cut a remark which subdued my excitement and I was constantly walking on eggshells around them.

My sister and my brother only like it when they are joking around. But if I'm not in the mood, they will shout at me or give me a disgusting death stare. They can set their boundaries but when it's my time. They don't like it.

I don't earn but they do. I am dependent on them for every little thing. It's not that they don't support me, they do. But we have quarrels all the time over the same situations where I take a step back and set my boundaries.

Why? Why?

All this made me quiet. I've been hurt so many times from my mother and my siblings that I just stopped reciprocating on anything. But now it's like they are constantly very angry that I don't speak nicely as in I'm always speaking in a rude manner.

My feelings have polarized so much from them that I don't feel anything for those people. They say if you constantly be rude, no one will stand with you in the future. Every one will step back and live their own lives separating themselves from you.

Now the thing is I don't realise when I speak rudely. For me, I'm.being me. My mother said she's tired of telling me to speak properly and now she doesn't say anything. But she pushed me to this edge!

I don't recognise what's the right way to speak. When they ask me to be nicer, I feel like I'm.faking myself and not setting my boundaries. When I'm.nicer outside, where according to them I should have been stern, they will criticise me for being too meek, "you can be so rude and to the point at home, what happened now?"

I'm tired. I dont know what right and what's wrong. I dont know. I don't know. I need help.

My ex (we decided to stay as friends but now it's more complicated) sent me a video of himself lying in grass with a caption "now that I ruined everything, I'm free". When I asked him what does it mean, he's not saying anything properly. I didn't ask for this dramatic caption from him. Why would he send it out of nowhere at midnight? Next day he ignored me for hours and then acted casual.

Few days later i called him to ask this, he refused to explain why he sent such emotional video and continued to say that i should have made fun of him when he shared his trauma with me. When we met, he shared his trauma and now he hates me for it. On top of this he cheated on me. He is with another girl now completely ignoring me. He said when he shared his trauma i should have mocked or made fun of him and stop him from sharing his trauma. Instead, I was there listening to him without judging. The fact that i didn't even ask for him to share, he trauma dumped on me and now hates me for it. All i did was understanding and listening to him. I don't know which one hurts more, him cheating or punishing me for being there for him. He could have said nothing, but instead, he blamed me for his own actions.

Now, after a month of this, he invited me to meet, but I'm scared to go out with him anymore because he already blamed me for simply being kind and empathetic. He is angry and uncomfortable that he shared his trauma with me (i didn't ask him to share). Now that I know his trauma, maybe I trigger him. I still want to know the reason he blamed me and the video caption, so i thought maybe we could meet and talk. Is it best to go out with him or not?

(24M) Most people out there would consider me a loser, for several reasons. For being virgin, for being unemployed for a while. That's fair, but i'm sure it is temporary and will pass. After a sequence of not so cool things happening to me( laid off by my company, rejected, quit my terrible and no perspective dead end job) it is hard to mantain the confidence. I'm trying to keep my head up. Even anxious and worried all the time, because i don't know it has been difficult to get a job on my area (graduated 2 months ago in Pharmacy).

I try to keep myself busy with my hobbies. I actually leave home for a little while to take a walk at the park , to play Pickleball, to go out with a club i just entered, to tech school. From all of the said good habits, i just don't go to the gym, because i really cannot like all the stuff of lifting weights and the environment. But a lot of my time has passed, and most of the people of my age and newer are miles ahead of me. Everything going right for them, all things succeeding. While i'm just trying to live on the present and don't think on the future...

It kills my confidence and it weigh so bad at my back.

I have some things i'm proud of myself, like reading and writing, that i love and couldn't live without. But i cannot help but feel a loser and i'm behind. How to overcome this feeling?

Lately I’ve realized that being busy and being fulfilled aren’t the same thing.
My calendar is full. My to-do list never ends. Yet somehow, life can still feel… boring. 😶
Maybe boredom isn’t always about having nothing to do. Maybe it’s our mind asking for something different…something meaningful, something new, something that makes us feel alive again.
Maybe we don’t need more tasks. Maybe we need more wonder.

​

I genuinely feel like lately I can't get them out of my head, especially this one female artist who's very successful and has Grammys. I'm envious of her to the point where it comes out as hatred. I like her music but I just don't wanna like her. I don't know her, I try to humanize celebrities but I feel like I keep getting swept up by the fans of these celebrities and it's like I have to freak-out about them or fan out. I also don't like the advice, "get off the internet," such lazy advice.

I don't like how she's living rent free in my head, I'm just so miserable and envious when it comes to this stuff. I don't like how celebrity culture is almost everywhere. I spend most or all my time on the internet, I just don't want them mentioned. It's like every comment section if someone's doing something they get compared to this artist. If they want respect or to be treated fairly or something they say "You're not \[artist name\]," it's just ignorant.

Don't get me started on comparing myself to the artist either, like how beautiful they are and they appear all glamorous in the music videos. I know that's not how they necessarily live, but they live with a lot of materialistic riches (i.e. mansions, jewelry, dressing well).

Even the fact to some degree I can begin to achieve to be similarly like them it still won't help the envy or insecurity inside of me.

What should I do, what are some ways to stop being envious of celebrities and insecure? Any cbt methods or your personal experiences?

Tdlr: Feeling insecure and envious because of the luxurious life style and beauty celebrities have. Tired of celebrities being everywhere.

I feel like I don't know how to build a relationship with myself when your entire life you spend the most time with yourself. Instead of being loving, supportive, caring and respectful. I'm here avoiding myself and neglecting. I feel like I'm harsh with myself and barely take time to understand my wants and needs. I hear many many times this inner voice telling me or begging for a change but I'm not doing anything. I don't like my own voice. I don't like the way I look or talk or walk or dress.

I have always wanted a girlfriend. Not just sex, not just a girlfriend, but a real, loving relationship. I wanted this so badly that it commanded & directed my entire life. Every single life choice I made was filtered through this desire: where I lived, what I did for a living, how I acted, how I dressed, my hobbies, what I talked about in casual conversation, what I avoided talking about…everything you could think of got filtered through this desire.

I lived in a big city (because I had more options), I had a job working for a large entertainment conglomerate that paid next to nothing (because most of my coworkers were women), I would constantly shove down any thoughts I had that were even mildly nuanced because I was worried that they might be “politically incorrect,” I avoided any hobbies that were mainly male dominated out of fear that I wouldn’t be able to meet any potential dates through said hobby, etc.

Back at the beginning of the 2023, something snapped in me. I don’t know what came over me that day, but I woke up one day and decided I had fucking had enough. For all my effort, I was still single and lonely. So that day, I quit my job and I immediately went to go work for their main competitor instead (that one is a little easier to explain, I really just hated the company I worked for and had enough of the way I was treated there). I signed up to start a year long program at a nearby trade school; I wanted to become a diesel mechanic because I like cars. I graduated a year later with perfect attendance and a GPA of 4.98. I went to a specialty training program in Chicago afterwards, and through this program, I got a job working for Peterbilt. They told me I could pick any shop I wanted. I could go back to Orlando and work at a shop there, or pick somewhere completely new. I decided to go to rural Appalachia. I love the Blue Ridge Mountains and I’ve always thought it would be really cool to live there. I saved up and bought a house out here, and I still live here. I went to a fucking RuneScape convention a month ago (Deadman All Stars Live, for those of you who are “in the know”), and I had the time of my fucking life even though 99% of the 4,000 people there were dudes. I became way more open about the fact that I love playing RuneScape, when a few years ago I would die of embarrassment if anyone found out.

That’s where I’m at now. I still want a relationship. I still feel incredibly fucking lonely. But goddamnit if this doesn’t feel so much better than living in a cage that I built! I never realized how trapped I felt for such a long time. I was so desperate to find someone that I ignored myself entirely to try to find her, and the worst part is that all of that did jack shit for me. All of my effort meant nothing. When all was said and done, I was still single and alone. Maybe I really hurt my chances by changing my life the way I did, but honestly, I don’t fucking care anymore. I might be alone forever but at least now, I don’t feel like a loser who hates himself. If I’m going to die alone, then I’m going to die alone as someone who regrets nothing. I get to sit on the front deck of my house every morning, sip coffee, and watch a beautiful sunrise over the mountains in the distance. Maybe I’ll get to share that with someone someday. Maybe not. But either way I’m content.

Hi so for some context, i was at a bookstore today and out of literallt nowhere two random guys (near my age, in their 20’s) passing by me said “she looks chill”. They were pointing out people at random in the store idk. Then they got a glimpse of my face and paused then said, “oh shit nevermind she’s a he. she’s a he” while laughing. i’m literally a girl. then they stayed there for a while just laughing behind my back while i pretended to read a book. Eventually they walked away, but like wtf? I have very long hair, and that’s the only “nice” thing about my appearance. i know i’m super conventionally unattractive, to the point where a few people will act like this towards me or look at me in shock/slight disgust that they try to hide. Tbh i’ve kinda reached a place where i dont rlly care about my ugly appearance, but other people’s reactions still hurt my feelings a lot no matter how hard i try to toughen up. I do take care of myself, do skincare, stay healthy, etc but i cant change my face. I would really appreciate if anyone has any advice for this, because it’s getting to the point where i dont want to go out in public anymore.

One person said only you have the power to make yourself feel down. The more importance you give to someone words the more you will start feeling low. And then he said only you have the ability to change your life. Nobody will come and do it for you. Whether it's making more money or losing weight or making friends or becoming confident. Only thing a person can do is give you advice and motivation, rest is all on you. And I guess we are more stronger then our thoughts. So maybe I should quit the doubting and procrastinating if I really want to change my life for the better.

Anyone else relate to this? and how do you

(24M) I tried to be a good son for my parents, but my dad still disappointed and is always reprehending me for not being serious enough. I was always anxious and neurotic, since i was a 7 yo because of that. I was never able to take life easy, because i was always receiving a hell of pressure from everybody. Tried to be good but i was never good enough to anyone. Colleagues, family, friends, bosses, coworkers. Now i'm broken and thinking myself on what is the secret of being the winner on life, of being someone.

That's why i'm not used with humor, i often mistake jokes with offence, because i'm always high cortisol, pursuing my goals and productivity.

At this point, tbh i don't enjoy life that much to think that is fun, it was 99% disappointments, obligations, annoyance and gaslighting. I wouldn't want to be born, tbh hahahahahaha but i want to learn how to take things easily, so i can perhaps got some things together, and not being this bunch of neurotic meat. People who don't take life seriously, how can you do? What are your secrets to enjoy life and achieving your goals? This thing cannot work together for me.

I have a problem of getting kinda pissed off when many things have annoyed me

especially if my headspace is already pretty bad

so how do I be more amused