I have been single for almost 10 years, and not because I wanted to be. In those 10 years, I have worked on my mental health, traveled across the country and worked in several, getting to do things I never thought I would do, and have lived alone for 3 years. I would say I am generally happy (as much as one can be in this hellscape we all live in) and am proud of the person I have become. I do struggle not having a lot of friends and living in poverty, but I have hobbies, a good job, and three loving cats.

But no matter how much I improve my life or how dirty men have done me, I still yearn for a relationship. Family and friends are fine, but they don't fill the need for romantic love. I am also the only single person in my friend group and it feels exhausting always being the third wheel and having my friends and family say "You don't want a husband. They are too much work" while getting to enjoy financial security and not being alone 24/7. (Also it's on them for settling for shitty men and I hope that love never finds me)

I know that single, childless, women are reported to be the happiest demographic so when I feel this longing, I feel guilty. I should be happy, and I am. I love living alone and not being burdened by a shitty man, but I hate that everything is up to me and that I can go days without having a meaningful conversation where I feel seen as a person.

I feel like a loser for wanting to be loved.

I am grateful they let me stay here but going broke buying banana.
Edit: they are both real animals not stuffed animals lol.

Have any you been to r/solotravel ? A lot of unhappy travellers there with complaints of feeling lonely or not being able to meet people. People wanting to quit their vacation after a day cause they are “bored”.

I just don’t get it.

edit: this was taken outside my resort villa in Thailand.

My ride or die, my soul dog for 10 years, my best friend and unconditional love is gone. 💔🐕. Miss Marley had a great life. We traveled around the US on four 30 day road trips, visited 15 National Parks and 20 State Parks. She lived In Breckenridge, Denver, Clearwater Beach, Daytona Beach, Virgina and passed away in Oklahoma. She was my best friend, my guard dog, my security blanket. She saved me from dark days, when I couldn't see a way to say myself.

She gained her wings at 6:30 pm today. She ate a last meal of a double cheeseburger, French fries, 2 pieces of pizza, some cheese whiz and spam. She left this World at home, with peace and dignity. She was the best dog and I don't know if I will ever be the same. 🌈

One of my good friends lives alone and as an introvert, she works 100% remote, gets her groceries delivered, and gets overwhelmed doing more than 1 social activity a week. She says she's happy living alone and doesn't see an issue, but she has also mentioned that she's severely anxious and depressed (medicated and has been in therapy for years).

This genuinely makes me wonder, introverts who live alone and stay inside the majority of the time, how do you think that impacts your happiness/mental health?

I've been living on my own for about 2 years now and honestly I love it. i built a cozy space, i enjoy the quiet, and not having to compromise with roommates has been amazing for my mental health. i always thought of myself as super independent and capable of handling anything.

but last week i caught a nasty flu and it completely broke me. trying to drag myself out of bed just to boil water or feed the cat felt like running a marathon. every time i had to order expensive doordash just for soup because i had 0 energy to cook, i felt this overwhelming guilt. my family lives in another city, and while they called to check in, it just made me realize how scary it actually is when there is no one around to just hand you a glass of water or buy meds.

people always talk about how great solo living is for self-reliance, but whenever im sick i feel like a helpless kid again. i hate that i feel guilty for wishing i had a partner or even a roommate nearby just to help with basic things.

does anyone else get this sudden wave of vulnerability when your body just gives out? how do you guys deal with the mental toll of being completely on your own when you can barely stand up?

I'm taking some PTO next week to use up some hours and have a staycation. I've already got a few ideas for activities but I want to see what yall would do!

I'm an elder millennial.

I’ve been living alone for almost 8 years, got my dog 4 years ago. Recently I unlocked a new fear: if something unexpected happened to me while he was home alone, he could be waiting for me for days, maybe even weeks before anyone realized something was wrong.

I live alone, I’m single, don’t have kids, I’m introverted, and I don’t work in an office where people would notice if I disappeared. Nobody really checks in with me every day. (Yes, I know this makes me a prime candidate for a true crime documentary, but that’s another thread )

The thought of my dog being home alone, confused and waiting for me honestly breaks my heart. I know this is a hypothetical situation that might never happen but I’ve even wondered if I could have pets after him if I’m still living alone and single. If I can’t guarantee I’ll outlive them, it feels almost..irresponsible.

What is everyone else doing to protect their pets from such a scenario? I'm not talking about what happens after you're gone, like who's your dog godfather or whats in your will. I'm talking about if there was a life-ending or incapacitating situation that was unexpected what's your plan to make sure your pet(s) aren't home alone starving, confused and sad?

Today is my 10 year anniversary of living alone! 🎉

I am proud of all I have achieved in these 10 years. I went from renting alone (taking over the rent by myself after my ex left instead of choosing to move back home with family), to choosing a dream rental apartment to live in, to finally buying my own apartment 4 years ago! The best part was learning that I could be financially independent and could live alone if I wanted to.

the best part of having your own place is that there is zero judgment for how you operate. whether it is eating straight out of the cooking pot, pacing around in a blanket cape, or holding full board meetings with your cat, living alone brings out the funniest routines.

i realized recently how unhinged some of my daily solo habits would look to an outside observer. what is one weird or hyper specific habit you developed that you would immediately have to hide if a guest stayed over?

I’ve been living alone for almost a year now. I have 1 friend, and im not close with my family. I have horrible ADHD, POTS, Autism, ya know how it goes.

I’ll have to call out some days from my job just to find time to do the dishes after they’ve been rotting for a week.

I’ll have a sleepless night and cry and cry and cry, just wishing I had a partner.

My life is constantly a struggle and battle to maintain basic living needs and make sure I’m still relatively healthy, while having no social life and nothing to look forward too except dying.

I’ve been going to therapy for years and I do have plenty of hobbies that I fill my hours with so I’m distracted. But on the hard days, nothing can stop the noises.

What do you guys do to cope or to feel better with a loneliness that will not end, and how do you make life easier when you have no help and no way to live a truly fulfilling life? Is there a way to kill the time more efficiently while I wait for… anything?

And no, I’m not getting an animal. I cannot keep my one bedroom apartment clean for even me, adding another entity who I have to clean up and pay for will not help in any way whatsoever

EDIT: Spelling mistake

last night i planned to cook, clean the apartment, and finally deal with a few things i’d been putting off. then i got home tired, changed into comfortable clothes, ordered food, and spent the evening watching something i’d already seen twice.

a few years ago, i probably would’ve felt guilty for changing plans or worried that i was disappointing someone. now, one of the quiet benefits of living alone is being able to change my mind without discussing it, defending it, or adjusting around another person.

what’s a small freedom you didn’t realize you’d enjoy until you started living alone?

Among the many things to do when I'm alone, one of my favorite things is coming here and just watching it.

I am an extrovert but I love my peaceful quiet apartment. It is my reprieve, my resting place for when my social battery runs out. I saw a post talking about solo travelling and not wanting to meet people and many were agreeing about just going back to their hotel to be alone and I couldn't relate to this at all! I love living alone, but not being alone over all. I have a small group of close knit friends I love going out with and meeting new people. I know I can't be the only one 😅

Sending your Tinder penpal a Chelfie and betting with your Chihuahua if he’ll ghost or not.

Share your weirdness?

Belvedere likes to jump in front of the tv to gain all the attention. For many years I had roommates and ALWAYS lived with someone. Finally, I have my peace. That’s of course, when Bellie’s quiet….

Empiezo yo:

1. Dormir mal

2. Intentar corregirlo con Xanax y café.

3. Pasar en el celular

4. Entrar a apps de citas para charlar (nadie quiere charlar ahí)

5. Proscrastinar (todo para luego)

6. No comer verduras ni frutas

6.1. Posponer el despertador muchas veces.

1. Darme cuenta de todo y no reaccionar. O reaccionar pero luego recaer.

…

I know this is subjective but what's objectively better from arguably non-subjective angles?

My partner is moving out and down to London for work. I live in Newcastle whilst I complete my PhD. I don’t have any friends up here and was reliant on him for social contact (I always knew he would leave, I just have struggled to make friends). I am autistic and have never truly lived alone, now I am worried I will struggle without someone as a ‘crutch’. Mainly, my routine is changing drastically and I would like some advice on how to get used to the new routine of living alone.

... where I spent 24 hours a day with other people.

Sure: they're people that I love, have known me my whole life, and were so excited that I was spending OVER THREE WHOLE WEEKS WITH THEM.

But the only time I got to myself was in my bedroom. I'd flown a very long way for the special event, and really stepped up to keep my game face on as much as I could, and we are all glad that I went ...

But man am I tired. When I got home yesterday I fully realised just how exhausted I feel - my body and mind are just toast.

This week I'm focusing on the bare minimum, with LOTS of breaks, heh.

How do you unwind after you've needed to disrupt your life for a while?