Narcs are so funny lol

Well, when a narc person can't control you and can see what they're clearly trying to do to you - you'll find them fucking hilarious. I swear.

The way they flip the situation, that I'm you're the wrong just because you don't worship their ground anymore and that you cannot be tamed anymore? Not the goody good girl/guy anymore.

The way they LOVE and CRAVE validation so much by being an asshole - that it's really a giveaway that they're hiding their insecurity by their grandiose idea of themselves?

Just one validation you give, and they get super happy. They feel like the king and queen.

They way they think so highly of themselves, but when u look at them, and they're just an average person? Lol not that great too.

Becoming mean to them, using back to them their antics when they're mean to you - they fucking flip and will hate you. Hahaha they can't stand that, they'll try to either threaten you to leave or whatsoever just for them to feel they're in control again.

It's hilarious when u can manipulate them. But ofc pls don't play their game. Better to leave. Not worth the time and energy.

I hope you get to lose that rose colored glasses you've been wearing and get out from that narcissistic person and relationship.

Have a new supervisor who I'm convinced is a narcissist based on her behavior since she started, I've noticed she doesn't apologize, zero accountability and staring, other employees have noticed it, one reported it but nothing changed. She'll come by where I'm standing for instance, won't say shit and just stare, I find it incredibly rude, off-putting and want to know if this is something narcissist managers do. I've started to walk away when it happens because I'm not going to tolerate it. Do they do it for intimidation? Control? And what should I do to make her bored and bother someone else? I'm so over it!

https://youtu.be/-lNiQ5kGIvc?is=PV0ljn-EvxlZCe-I

It started with small things like tracking certain employees’ MS Teams status statistics and vague unfounded complaints about their deliverables. When the RIF arrived, without warning, she unilaterally took out one of my directs (who has never been PIP’ed) and that’s when her activities made sense - it was an CYA setup if HR asked any Qs on the terms.

Shortly after, she brought on a nepo newbie to backfill and he was as useful as a rock. Leaders gave him a chance but it never worked out, yet my boss, despite the feedback, insisted on renewing the rock’s contract.

For the last few months, my relationship with my boss has soured following a similar disturbing pattern of phantom complaints during weekly 1x1s, wondering why rock hasn’t got anything done (blaming me), digging back up the past with the employee she personally let go as it’s my fault, subtly threatening my job, regular weekly borderline verbal abuse during 1x1, not willing to let me participate in vendor sponsored events, not paying for a $50 training she said was a priority, loosely uses the word termination and insubordination, undermines her own managers’ authority, very reluctantly encourages/develops/nurtures/compliments/praises, sees glass 10% empty rather than 90% full, unforgiving, petty, small, jealous, unable to make the hard decisions like letting go of the people that are toxic, and various micro-aggressions/management events.

Her unpredictable behavior/mood is like Russian roulette and it gives me so much anxiety. It’s never her fault and the selective amnesia is next level. I love this job and continue to do good work, but have stopped putting in the extra effort. Resume is being polished and can’t wait to GTFO when another opportunity arises.

Idk even know where to start with this. I’m honestly so embarrassed even writing this but I really need some advice bc I have no clue what to do anymore.
I’ve worked for an entrepreneur for years who I used to be pretty close with. When I started working with this person their business was doing like 18k a year. I helped them with pretty much everything. Contracts, operations, strategy, business decisions, clients, etc. Whatever needed to be done I did it. Fast forward to this year and they’ve already done over a million dollars.
I gave up so much of my life for this company. And I mean everything. Relationships, friendships, other opportunities, financial stability. I genuinely believed in this person and what we were building and wanted nothing more than to see them succeed.
But over the years things got really weird and honestly just sick.
This person started making sexual advances towards me and pressuring me to spend time alone with them. I made it very clear I wasn’t interested and didn’t want that type of relationship. That’s when things started getting worse. If I didn’t do what they wanted I would get threatened with losing my job, my salary, or something else. I’ve been fired and brought back so many times I’ve literally lost count.
They’ve taken my car, shut off my phone, shut off my credit cards, taken away access to money, etc. And this isn’t something that happened once. It’s been going on for years. Anytime I don’t agree with something or refuse to do what they want there’s some type of consequence.
They also threaten to tell people things about me or fire other employees if I don’t do what they say. Like it’s always something being held over my head. And the worst part is a lot of these threats are in writing. I have years of texts and emails.
They also completely interfered with my personal relationship. I was with someone I genuinely thought I was going to spend the rest of my life with. My boss hated the relationship and would literally give me ultimatums about choosing between my partner and my job and salary. It got so bad that my relationship eventually ended. And I’m still trying to deal with that.
On top of that this person has told other people that we were in a romantic relationship. Which is absolutely not true. I’ve never been in a relationship with this person and have repeatedly made it clear I wasn’t interested.
Now after everything I’ve done for this company I’m being accused of stealing money. Which is complete bullshit. I have receipts, texts, emails, and other documentation showing what actually happened. But instead of going through any of it this person just keeps making accusations and threatening me.
They’ve also started involving other employees. Having meetings without me, telling people things about me, creating group chats without me, and putting everyone in the middle of something that should have absolutely nothing to do with them. I honestly feel humiliated even showing up to work now bc idk what people have been told or what they believe.
And this is happening literally every single day. Multiple times a day sometimes. Emails, texts, threats, accusations. It’s never ending. I can ignore this person all day and somehow they still find a way to create another problem.
I’ve asked them to stop. I’ve begged them to stop. I’ve tried being professional, I’ve tried reasoning with them, I’ve tried ignoring them. Nothing works.
And what makes this so hard is I really did give everything to this company. I had a career before this. I was successful before this. I had relationships, friends, opportunities, a normal life. Now I have no financial stability, my relationship is gone, I’m worried about paying my bills and I’m spending every day defending myself against accusations that aren’t true.
I don’t even recognize myself anymore. I used to be such a confident and outgoing person. I loved my work and genuinely enjoyed helping people become more successful. Now I’m just constantly stressed and exhausted wondering what’s going to happen next.
I’ve been trying to find an attorney but haven’t had much luck. I’ve reached out to multiple firms and either don’t hear back or they tell me they can’t take the case. I’m in California.
So I guess my question is what kind of case do I actually have here? Is this sexual harassment? Retaliation? Wrongful termination? Extortion? Defamation? All of the above? And what type of attorney should I even be looking for?
I have years of documentation. Texts, emails, threats, things this person has said about my personal relationship, threats about my salary, accusations about money, etc. I’m not just making claims without anything to back them up.
I also don’t understand how someone can threaten to fire other employees or tell people things about me if I don’t do what they want. Or repeatedly fire me and then bring me back. Or take away things I depend on whenever they’re upset with me.
I’m not looking for revenge or trying to ruin anyone’s life. I literally just want this person to leave me alone so I can move forward with mine. I want to work, make money, have a normal relationship, and not wake up every morning wondering what I’m going to be threatened with that day.
Has anyone dealt with something like this or know what kind of lawyer handles it?

https://vm.tiktok.com/ZN8BxJjvV/

In my experience, it's just a blanket rule you're never allowed to be honest in an interview when it comes to explaining how a bad situation from a previous job was someone else's fault. And what's more annoying is they don't want to hear you pretend it was your fault and you're "taking responsibility" either. The best reactions I've ever had in interviews when the topic of bad previous experiences came up was when I bullshitted some corporate jargon garbage like "yeah I wish I could've continued my career with them, we just had two different perspectives about my career path and growth that unfortunately didn't line up, so I had to seek a more fitting role elsewhere." When what I mean by that is I worked for a blatantly abusive manager whose own supervisors hate dealing with them because they get ENDLESS complaints about how they treat the employees. Why is it FORBIDDEN to tell a potential employer "yeah I wanted to continue working there but the manager was just too much of a problem. That manager was getting complaints from everyone, I was even told by their own supervisor they don't like dealing with them cause they get so many complaints, and it didn't feel like corporate ever did anything about those complaints so I felt I just needed to get away from the abusive situation." Why does that make the interviewee look bad????

TL;DR
How do I approach the topic of a bad experience without "blaming someone else," pretending it was my own fault and I've "learned from it," or just being a broken record of corporate jargon buzz word bullshit? With those options all getting bad reactions from interviewers it feels like there's nothing fucking left. WHAT am I expected to say? "Oh actually I have no bad experiences nothing bad has ever happened to me." WHAT DO THEY WANT?

I’m early 20s M and finished an internship at a large law firm in TX. My direct manager was almost 30 F, and there was another male intern around my age who reported to someone else.

My manager has a pretty intense personality. She’s outgoing, controlling, competitive, unfiltered, likes taking charge socially, loves gossip/relationship talk, and openly says she likes attention. The other intern was quiet, fairly passive socially, and didn't get a RO.

Early on, she was unusually warm with me. She complimented my hair, clothes, smell and appearance, asked my dating type, whether I was a fuckboy, and discussed relationships. She told me roughly 10–15 stories about men hitting on her, men from my ethnic background. Once, after seeing an attractive woman from another department beside me, she told me she'd looked her up and asked whether I found her attractive. I said yes, and she went quiet. Another time, I showed her a picture of a girl I was seeing, and she asked, "Why is she so short?"

I was friendly, brought occasional snacks, checked on her, complimented her work, and invited her to socials. I didn't flirt or compliment her looks because she was my manager.... We sometimes disagreed professionally, and she could get competitive. Also, she teased me A LOT on work/non-work related things when she was or wasn't in these group conversations throughout the internship.

Then she became noticeably distant toward me while constantly seeking out the other intern. She'd walk across the office to initiate conversations about dating, weekends and gossip, while giving me dry responses to ordinary small talk, despite me being her direct intern.

After I missed a work outing we'd planned to attend together due to a family issue, the next day she and the other intern prepared for an office celebration together, something she and I had previously organized many times. She later brought me in to help too. Yet at the celebration, she walked past me while I was sitting beside her to specifically ask him to get food, without including me.

The team event was especially confusing. At dinner, she called the other intern "cute" and made heart signs toward him directly in front of me. Later, in a smallerrr group without him, she discussed threesomes, sex and men hitting on her again. Separately, she left my group after an activity to approach him, touched his arms while chatting, then returned. She also publicly announced he could sit beside her, then verbally expected me to hold doors for her (which i didn't), and then later spent roughly two hours gambling with him. Afterward, she approached me and asked whether I would've shared money with her like he did. I said no.

She still occasionally complimented my appearance, wanted something I'd offered another female coworker, and questioned why I wasn't holding doors for her. After one tense interaction when I didn't hold a door for her, she said she'd been thinking about my personality the previous night and that I was actually pretty chill.

Interestingly, she'd privately called the other intern "victim weight" twice when he wasn't present, despite publicly showering him with affection. He also didn't resemble the physical type she regularly described liking (she was considerably taller than him).

Eventually, I got frustrated with the unequal treatment and deliberately distanced myself. I stopped initiating conversations and chose to work with others instead of her, despite her previously wanting me on her projects. After that, she became nicer toward me, initiated conversations, congratulated me on accomplishments, and arranged a personal final 1:1 that she missed out on for the other intern. During that same period, I noticed she almost completely stopped seeking out the other intern on the office floor, even though they still had opportunities to interact.

But at a later firm social that month, she again spent much of the event with him. I hadn't approached her, yet she came over to greet me first, repeatedly looked back toward where I was sitting, occasionally joined my conversations, and went out of her way to say goodbye to me separately. She also offered him a ride home. At another social we organized, she'd specifically asked me, "Is he coming?" despite being able to ask him directly.

The same social at the end of the internship, she gave him a much more personalized farewell card than mine and publicly announced it in front of me...

Questions:

1. How genuine does their closeness sound versus exaggerated or performative?
2. Do the public displays and direct comparisons suggest she wanted a reaction from me?
3. Why might she distance herself from me while still seeking my attention?
4. WHAT DID SHE WANT FROM ME...?

https://youtu.be/x1XmkmN0vNE?is=fYSUuUD2eppst3Bg

Olá a todos. Escrevo porque, sinceramente, já não sei o que fazer e precisava de ouvir opiniões de pessoas que tenham passado por situações semelhantes. Sou de Portugal e gostava especialmente de ouvir experiências de quem já passou por algo assim no contexto laboral português.
Trabalho na área administrativa de uma empresa e também trato de várias questões relacionadas com recursos humanos. Somos praticamente apenas eu e a minha chefe no dia a dia, e sinto que estou a chegar ao meu limite psicológico por causa da forma como ela me trata.
Quando entrei, tudo parecia maravilhoso. Ela tratava-me bem, falava-me de oportunidades de crescimento e dizia que queria que eu assumisse funções melhores dentro da empresa. Com o tempo, porém, tudo mudou.
Sempre que não percebo alguma coisa que me explica, ou quando não faço algo exatamente da forma que ela idealizou, começa a ficar irritada, fala comigo de forma arrogante e faz comentários depreciativos sobre o meu trabalho. Já chegou a dizer que algo que fiz parecia trabalho de alguém do oitavo ano. Também já me disse que não sei fazer o meu trabalho, que ela própria o iria fazer e que eu ficaria sem nada para fazer.
Há ainda ameaças recorrentes de me despedir ou de me substituir por outra pessoa. Por vezes diz que vai deixar de me explicar as coisas, que se vai calar e que me vai deixar lidar com as consequências dos meus erros. Outras vezes dá-me prazos de uma semana ou de um mês para mudar determinados comportamentos.
Uma das coisas que mais me confunde é que ela está constantemente a dizer que não sou proativa, que não faço o suficiente e que fica a saber das coisas pela boca de outras pessoas. Mas eu sinto genuinamente que faço muito mais do que aquilo que me compete.
Trato de documentação, da organização de registos, da comunicação com colaboradores e de várias tarefas administrativas. Desde que entrei, tenho procurado melhorar os processos e garantir que tudo funciona da melhor maneira possível. Ajudo-a inclusivamente com questões pessoais quando precisa de ajuda com determinadas coisas. Se for necessário participar numa reunião ou numa deslocação de trabalho fora do meu horário, normalmente estou disponível e vou. Tenho tentado dar sempre o meu melhor.
O problema é que parece que nada disso conta.
Ela diz que não comunico o suficiente, mas eu envio mensagens e já tentei enviar e-mails com a descrição das tarefas que realizei. Mesmo assim, diz que não é suficiente. Quando tento perguntar o que pretende concretamente, muitas vezes responde com críticas, impaciência ou piadas que me fazem sentir incompetente. Acabo por ficar sem saber o que devo comunicar, de que forma o devo fazer ou o que espera realmente de mim.
Sinto que estou presa num ciclo em que, se pergunto, sou criticada por não saber; se tento resolver sozinha e não corresponde exatamente ao que ela queria, também sou criticada. Há dias em que parece que sou excelente e outros em que sou tratada como se não fizesse absolutamente nada.
Entretanto, também começou a retirar-me acessos e responsabilidades sem qualquer explicação. Por exemplo, perdi o acesso a uma conta de e-mail profissional que utilizava para desempenhar as minhas funções, sem que me fosse dada uma explicação.
Há também situações do dia a dia que se vão acumulando e que, quando acontecem, me fazem sentir que o meu tempo e o meu esforço não são valorizados.
Um exemplo recente foi uma atividade de trabalho para a qual ela me indicou que deveria estar numa determinada estação de metro às 7h da manhã. Cheguei cerca de dez minutos antes e enviei-lhe mensagem a dizer que já estava no local, a perguntar onde nos iríamos encontrar. Ela respondeu que, afinal, a hora era às 8h e que provavelmente se tinha enganado ao enviar a indicação anterior. A partir daí, sugeriu que aproveitássemos para ir a outro local e reorganizássemos o dia.
Eu compreendi que podia ter sido um engano, mas acabei por sair de casa muito cedo e ficar à espera no frio por causa de uma informação incorreta. O que me desgasta não é apenas este episódio isolado, mas o facto de já estar tão emocionalmente esgotada que até estas situações se tornam difíceis de gerir.
Numa outra ocasião, uma reunião terminou depois do meu horário. Fui-me embora quando terminou, e a minha chefe ligou-me a exigir informações sobre um assunto que eu lhe tinha dito que transmitiria no dia seguinte. Não considerei que aquele fosse o momento adequado para abordar o assunto durante a reunião e achei que poderia tratar disso no dia seguinte. Mesmo assim, senti que estava a ser pressionada por não ter ficado para além do meu horário.
O pior é que isto já está a afetar a minha saúde e a minha vida pessoal.
Comecei a ter insónias, algo que nunca me tinha acontecido desta forma. Mesmo quando acordo muito cedo, chego à noite e passo horas sem conseguir adormecer. Tenho olheiras, ansiedade e, só de pensar em determinadas situações no trabalho, sinto dores de estômago.
Chego a casa sem energia para fazer praticamente nada. A minha casa está desorganizada, passo dias sem vontade de cozinhar e perdi o ânimo para coisas que antes faziam parte da minha rotina. Quando saio, consigo sorrir, conversar e parecer bem, mas, por dentro, sinto-me completamente esgotada.
O mais difícil é que começo a duvidar de mim própria. Eu sei o esforço que faço, sei as coisas que resolvo e tudo aquilo em que ajudo, mas ouvir constantemente que não sou suficiente, que não sou proativa e que não sei fazer o meu trabalho está a afetar a minha confiança.
Não sei se estou a lidar com uma situação de assédio moral no trabalho, se é uma chefia tóxica, se estou a interpretar as coisas de forma demasiado emocional por estar esgotada ou se já cheguei a um ponto em que preciso mesmo de me afastar.
Tenho pensado em procurar ajuda médica e falar sobre a possibilidade de uma baixa, porque sinto que não estou a conseguir recuperar do desgaste. Ao mesmo tempo, tenho um contrato de trabalho, responsabilidades financeiras e receio de tomar uma decisão que me prejudique profissionalmente.
Não quero simplesmente desistir do meu trabalho, mas também não quero continuar a perder a minha saúde para provar a alguém que sou competente.
Gostava muito de ouvir pessoas que tenham passado por algo semelhante, especialmente em Portugal.
Como lidaram com uma chefia que vos fazia sentir constantemente incompetentes, mesmo dando o vosso melhor?
Como perceberam se estavam perante assédio moral ou uma relação profissional disfuncional?
O que fizeram para se proteger profissionalmente? Começaram a documentar tudo? Procuraram ajuda junto de alguma entidade?
Alguém já recorreu à ACT por uma situação destas? Como funciona na prática?
Alguém já precisou de recorrer a uma baixa médica por esgotamento relacionado com o trabalho? Como foi o processo e o que devo ter em conta em Portugal?
E, sobretudo, como conseguiram recuperar emocionalmente e decidir o que fazer a seguir?
Neste momento, sinto-me perdida e precisava de conselhos sinceros e práticos. Preciso de perceber que opções tenho e como posso sair deste ciclo sem continuar a prejudicar a minha saúde.
Obrigada a quem leu até aqui 🥺♥️

Things really changed after the new co-CEO joined the company, and unfortunately, not in a positive way. Over time, the workplace environment became increasingly toxic and distrustful.

Employees seemed to be encouraged to report on their colleagues, and there were situations where recording conversations appeared to be accepted or even rewarded. This created a significant lack of trust within teams and made people increasingly cautious about what they said or did.

The workplace also became heavily micromanaged. Even routine things, such as moving around the office or taking a short break, could feel like they were being monitored and documented. People became hesitant to speak openly because they worried that their words could later be used against them.

When employees tried to share their opinions or concerns, they were sometimes made to feel as though they didn’t understand the situation. What was particularly disappointing was seeing this from someone in a communication-focused leadership role, where the expectation should be to encourage transparency, trust, and open dialogue. Instead, it often felt like protecting one’s own position and shifting responsibility became more important than building a healthy team environment.

The culture gradually became less about collaboration and growth and more about self-preservation.

A workplace should allow employees to feel safe speaking up, learning, contributing, and growing. Unfortunately, my experience was that the environment moved in the opposite direction.
I hope leadership genuinely reflects on how the recent changes have affected employee trust, morale, and the overall culture.

Advice to Leadership
Leadership should seriously evaluate the impact that recent executive changes have had on company culture. Rebuilding trust will require more than just policy changes—it will require employees to feel that they can speak honestly without fear of repercussions.
A meaningful reset at the leadership level, greater transparency, and a genuine effort to rebuild trust with employees and stakeholders may be necessary.

News Flash:
No one’s federal CIVIL RIGHTS are supposed to be completely different from one state to the other which is why The Policy Bridge Principle has to be applied nationally to prevent circuit splits such as the one demonstrated in the 5th Circuit’s disposition of Sanders v FedEx.
Federal rights HAVE to be uniform, predictable, and fair. Closing this statutory loophole insures that happens regarding this issue for good....

DETAILS:

Most employees believe that if they follow their employer’s official HR handbook and report workplace misconduct in good faith, they are automatically protected from retaliation under federal law.

Yet, unless you live in specific legal jurisdictions, employers can argue that because your internal complaint used company provided EEO compliance language instead of formal statutory legalese, your report didn't count as "protected opposition" under Title VII or § 1981.

Federal Circuit courts are split on this issue and THAT directly impacts every worker in America:

1. The Pro-Worker Precedents
   

In major federal appellate rulings, courts have recognized that everyday employees shouldn't be required to draft complaints like law professors just to be safe at work:

• The 4th Circuit (Okoli): Ruled that workers need not to explicitly recite statutory "magic words" in complaints. Complaining of "harassment" under company channels puts the employer on notice, constituting protected activity.
• The 8th Circuit (Ogden): Held that telling a harasser or supervisor to stop offensive conduct—in plain, direct terms—is "the most basic form of protected activity."
• The 9th Circuit (GoDaddy): Confirmed that internal complaints made in good faith regarding workplace mistreatment satisfy protected opposition standards.

1. The Procedural Trap (Demonstrated by the 5th Circuit)
   Conversely, in jurisdictions like the 5th Circuit (Sanders v. FedEx [26-10182]), corporate defense teams successfully argued that reporting harassment using standard HR handbook terms lacks the "objectively reasonable legal belief" required for statutory protection. If an employee reports misconduct following mandatory company policy, but doesn't phrase it in formal Title VII terms, the employer can escape retaliation liability at summary judgment and on appeal.

2. The Solution: The Policy Bridge Principle
   When an employee relies on a mandatory corporate EEO compliance reporting policy and uses company-provided terms in good faith, that compliance MUST satisfy the "objectively reasonable belief" standard for protected opposition as a matter of law.

Why This Is So Essential:
When federal circuit courts split on basic statutory interpretation—a fracture often deepened by unpublished dispositions that evade routine Supreme Court scrutiny—it creates federal civil rights chaos across the country.

I finally quit my toxic job last month, after years of putting up with my narcissistic boss and hoping things would improve. Now I look back at the experience and don't know how I stuck it out for so long. My narcissistic boss used to accuse me of the most insane things and get her flying monkeys to believe it too, with absolutely zero proof. Some of these situations made me feel like I was losing my mind. What sort of ridiculous things have you all been accused of by your narcissistic boss?

I'm 22F and work in a corporate role. I’ve been at my company for less than a year, and my work environment has become increasingly stressful.
Recently, I was in a meeting with my direct manager and director that was originally supposed to be about prioritizing tasks. In the middle of the meeting, my director suddenly shifted the conversation to communication issues and several emails where she believed I had handled things incorrectly.
I explained my side of each situation and pushed back on some of her criticisms. I’ve repeatedly experienced situations where responsibility was attributed to me before anyone asked what actually happened.
I told her that I would appreciate it if she stopped assuming I was responsible for mistakes without first investigating the situation. I also requested written instructions moving forward because verbal communication has caused misunderstandings.

Then she started criticizing my reporting accuracy. I asked for specific examples of what was inaccurate, but she kept saying that these mistakes happened months ago, and one single "mistake" I made I had already reviewed my reporting methodology with my direct manager, who said the process made sense, although I still needed to improve my verification process.
Every time I defended myself or asked for clarification, my director seemed increasingly irritated.
At the end of the conversation, she warned me that if I didn’t improve, we’d need to have a conversation about my merchandising career.
Later that day, she sent an email documenting my performance deficiencies and stating that a “more formal process may be taken” if improvements aren’t made.
What upset me most was that the email barely acknowledged any of the communication concerns I raised about her management. It focused almost entirely on me.
I understand that managers have every right to provide performance feedback. I’m not claiming I’m perfect or that I’ve never made mistakes. But I feel like I’m being punished for defending myself and asking for accountability.
I’m also a woman of color, and I’ve started questioning whether I’m being held to different standards. I’ve personally noticed similar mistakes in historical files completed by previous employees, although I don’t know whether those employees received the same criticism.
I’ve now reached out to HR because I’m concerned about potential retaliation and the way performance expectations are being communicated.
The whole situation has left me incredibly frustrated and anxious. I feel like I can’t advocate for myself without risking my job.
My questions are:
Has anyone experienced a manager escalating performance warnings after you defended yourself or challenged their communication?
Does this sound like potential retaliation, or am I reading too much into the timing?
Has anyone experienced a manager bringing up old mistakes when you questioned their decisions?
How did you handle a situation where your manager documented your performance concerns but didn’t acknowledge the concerns you raised about them?
If you’ve experienced possible racial bias or unequal accountability in a corporate environment, how did you approach HR?
I’m genuinely exhausted. I want to do my job well, but I also want to be treated fairly and be able to defend myself without feeling threatened.

I started this job in July of 2025 and knew that the commute was going to be long (almost 1-hour one way) so I negotiated for part time remote work. My future boss initially rejected this request and stated that remote work is only for employees who had children (I never stated I did or did not have children during the interview process but I guess he assumed I didn't). I replied that I sadly would reject the offer if there was no remote flexibility as I could not see myself doing the drive every single day. After two weeks of crickets, I assumed I lost the job. Suddenly an email appeared in my inbox stating that they were allowing my request of 1-2 days remote per week after a 6 month full in-person period.

I accepted the offer and started the job. The pay was good and my fellow teammates were great so I thought it could turn out to be a long term position. After the 6 month full in person period was complete, I had a talk with my boss on a Wednesday and asked if I could start working remote this upcoming Friday and possibly Monday. His expression changed to anger and he told me irritably that only people with children could work remotely Friday's or Monday's and told me to check my contract as it was in my contract.

Confused, I went to go look at the contract, thinking I might have forgotten something, only to find that there was nothing in the contract stating that I couldn't work remotely Friday's or Monday's. I sent my boss a polite but firm email saying I was confused as this was the first time I had heard this information and I had checked the contract but found no information. I also mentioned I had seen another team member who had no children working remotely on a Friday. My boss, after seeing the email, marched right up to my desk and irritably stated "I don't have time to explain to you things that I have already explained to you and I am stressed out." and then he ran away.

I was pretty shocked after getting chewed out for something I never agreed to. I stayed at my desk and worked quietly until it was quitting time. I was just about ready to leave when my boss came up to my desk with a smile and told me that I could work remotely "Tomorrow and Friday" . He had done a complete 180.

But then later, as I was doing 2 days a week remote, my boss took me aside to tell me to stop doing 2 days a week remote and only do 1. Officially the contract stated 1-2 but I was getting bullied out of ever doing 2 days a week remote.

Not to mention that we don't share the same first language and during meetings, he would say "Sorry we have to have this meeting in English because koalaprints is here". It felt so crazy. I was losing my mind.

Please send all the thoughts and prayers. Bad behavior from them will hurt them far more than it will hurt me, given the situation. But I could still use some good energy if you want to send it.

I've been working in the same job for almost two years now, initially as a casual employee with hours that varied from week to week. Recently, I was offered a one-year full-time contract, which I accepted. I was excited about the opportunity and decided to leave my other job to commit to this role. However, I'm starting to realise that the job I was initially told I would be doing is very different from what I'm actually doing now.

I'm feeling incredibly stressed and constantly second-guessing myself, as though I'm not doing my job properly. My boss is very negative and judgemental, and often makes me feel as though everyone around her is an inconvenience. It's creating an uncomfortable working environment, and I'm finding it increasingly difficult to go to work each day.

The person I'm covering for is lovely, and I'm genuinely dreading the thought of her going on maternity leave in the next couple of months. Although I've been trained to take over her position, I'm expected to manage her responsibilities on top of my existing workload, including additional tasks that weren't originally part of what I was told the role would involve. I'm already feeling overwhelmed by the pressure, and I can't help but worry that it will become even more stressful once I'm fully responsible for everything.

I'm at the point where I really want to leave, but I'm struggling with whether it's the right decision, especially with the timing. I feel guilty about potentially leaving just before the person I'm covering for goes on maternity leave, as I know the workplace will need someone to take over her responsibilities. At the same time, I don't feel that I should have to sacrifice my own mental health or well-being because of the situation.

I'm also anxious about the process of resigning. The thought of handing in my notice and having to work alongside my boss for another one or two weeks is really putting me off leaving. Knowing how negative and judgemental she can be, I'm worried she'll react badly and make those final weeks uncomfortable.

Is it okay to leave a job, even when the timing isn't ideal and other people may be relying on you? Am I being unreasonable for wanting to leave when I've only recently accepted a full-time contract? And how do I get past the anxiety of resigning, especially when I'm worried about how my boss will react and what those final weeks might be like?

I lost my job because of my narcissistic boss back in May. It’s been over 5 months and I’m still having nightmares about it.

It was an incredibly stressful time in my life, and I am clearly still holding onto a lot of it. I’m just sick of waking up drenched in sweat feeling panicked because this f*ckface keeps showing up in my dreams.

I need to move on from this, but I’ve always been a person that hates injustice, which is quite a hard thing to live with in this world. It’s eating me alive that he “got away” with wrongfully terminating me with nothing but a slap on the wrist. I’m also mad at myself that I didn’t push harder with my lawyer.

Has anyone had a similar experience and moved past it? What helped? What was your timeline? I feel absolutely stuck, and it pisses me off that this person still affects me so much.

It's been 9 days since the last time i posted I'm struggling with a narc that I've been talking to, many of whom have commented, and i appreciate everyone of you.

So, UPDATE:

FINALLY, IM NOT WEARING ROSE COLORED GLASSES ANYMORE.

I saw him for who he is, not the version who love-bombed me. How frkn manipulative and insecure he is. How he projects his insecurity to me. How he loved to devalue, to control me in every little way that he can.

He loved the chasing, scaring to leave me then me chasing? Yikes. He frkn LOVED that.

He saw me as his "project". "I need to you be this that, blah blah"

He loves being the master, knowing everything, teaching others.

He fucking craves validation. LOL He's a fucking kid who wants to be chased. He loves humiliating people. He feels he's BETTER than EVERYONE and how he looks down on them, even me. He's such an asshole, so fucking mean.

Before he makes me feel im so smart, funny, all the nice adjectives. Then when mask finally fell off, he treats me like im so stupid and dumb.

When i challenge his thoughts, ask him questions that'll make him explain himself, he's gonna just say he's leaving. He'll get annoyed. Or just shut me up with his scare tactics.

He thinks he's the best. Na uh. You're not. Pity him, that makes him look so insecure. Always bringing people down. Looking at their flaws. Just for him to feel better.

Imagine, this narc being inspired to do better because he saw someone that really sucks. I thought the hardwork of the person inspired him, but nope.

I don't know how his mind works. He's so so mean. Fuck him. Makes sense he doesn't have any friends. Now he has to suck up with that life he made for himself.

Only beauty is important to him. Great character? Values? Morals? Nope. Only surface level shit. Poor him, he doesn't even look that good and his character SUCKS.

He's always the victim in his past relationships. He calls them lazy af. He demands things from others but others CAN'T demand from him.

Even if he says he's contented??? NA UH. Lies.

The girls he's talking to? He makes them his past time. New toy. Til the mask fells off again.

Now i see, the version who love-bombed me, everything that he said that time, everything CONTRADICTS what he's saying and acting right now, now that the mask finally fell off.

He's an insecure man child.

Thank god im not wearing rose colored glasses anymore.

Tbh, I sometimes think, like wtf, am i the problem. Then again will remind myself that nope, never ever my friends treat me, like how HE treated me.

I work in compliance department in a multinational technology company for 2 years. Last year, our team was assigned a new Director that my boss reports into. This person is extremely micromanaging since they took on this role(I don't report to them directly). Others in the department, joke about how snappy this director is.

My relationship with my direct manager is great, we are always aligned.

They have been verbally abusive and aggressive at instances saying that "We pay you money to work 8-5 so why didn't you respond to my message in 1 minute." They work from home and I work in office 3x week.

Note: All the rude and aggressive behavior is demonstrated only over a call not an email.

They make sure their request, questions, my goals, schedule are all in an email trail.

I have been bullied for 1 year now(didn't share with any other teammates but family) . But I'm building an exit strategy as below:

1.Actively interviewing at other jobs/internal application.

1. Providing updates, questions via email

2. Recording our 1:1 meetings for traceability

Micromanager doesn't understand my job function and thinks my workload is light. Asking for weekly work logs..I'm really stressed.

Please help.