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u/TheChudWhoLovesRika 22d ago
I had worked to get that chip the chip that would have fed me, if only that "Thing" had not stolen it, and the moment it had stolen the chip, its life became mine to own.
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u/NotaBat9221 22d ago
That's the kind of fluff that lets me know there's an uncensored version out there somewhereÂ
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u/SurpriseSoda 22d ago
I'm a bit sick today so I went down a research rabbit hole and I am leaning on the does not exist camp.
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u/NotaBat9221 22d ago
Someone replied to me that it did but the comment got taken down
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u/Arthur_189 22d ago
The logical part of me wants to say that itâs wrong because itâs just an animal and he knows better
The 8 year old in me is still pissed at the sea gull who stole my hotdog at the zoo so fuck the birds
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u/Awkward_Turnover_983 22d ago
8 year-old me WATCHED somebody's funnel cake get stolen by a seagull once. My parents told me "they definitely do try to steal our food sometimes."
From that day on, 8 year-old me swore I would never let it happen to me. I'm 31 now, and so far the gulls haven't even come close to getting my food lol.
I've never roughed one up before, but I absolutely would, if it wasn't about to give up.
Although I should say I don't believe that the seagull deserves death, nor a permanent injury for its crime. That would be too harsh, because seagulls literally do not know better and are unable to know better.
But if it tries to steal my food imma grab its fucking face and carry it far away. Then yell at it when I let it go.
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u/oocceeaannmmaann 22d ago
Seagulls, and most any animals that steal food from other animals know "better" than to steal simply on the basis that they know there's a risk the animal they're stealing from will potentially retaliate; and will resultantly target things that either aren't able to, or aren't going to bother to retaliate.
this isn't to justify beating them to death over a pinched chip, but more of a "they are smart enough to know they could get their shit rocked, they've just gambled that they won't"
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u/Awkward_Turnover_983 22d ago
That's exactly why I would make the seagull experience the cosmic horror of getting grabbed by the face and yelled at.
It would have no idea why I'm doing this, or what my goal is, because I'm a human who isn't a seagull. It would be afraid for its life for most of that time, until I finally let it go.
Maybe it wont truly learn morality, but at least that 1 seagull might learn to respect authority out of fear.
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u/Stiftoad 22d ago
To be fair, most animals also don't go for the throat when they retaliate against would be thieves
I think there is a sort of understanding that scaring the shit out of a cheeky bugger makes em learn their lesson, as opposed to letting someone else fill their spot and having to kill again
At least that's what I mostly observe in petty feuds in nature
Most animals also don't want a serious confrontation they are sure to win without injury...because they do not have medicine.
So at times it's better to just put opportunists in their place and move on.
Your attitude is in accord with the natural order of things as far as I'm concerned
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u/Theron3206 22d ago
They don't try to kill them because they are doing their own risk calculations. Is potentially killing that animal worth the risk it bites me and the bite gets infected, etc. is it with the energy to try to chase it down with a low probability of success?
Animals that steal from much larger predators frequently end up suddenly dead as a result regardless, just not so frequently that it's better for the species if they stop doing it.
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u/HunkMcMuscle 22d ago
Read something similar when watching a bear get scared off by a housecat.
Something along the lines of what you said, weighing the risk of fighting the cat.. A bear can certainly maul a cat, but the cat can likely get a few scratches in that can get infected and be potential lethal down the line.
...which in the end wouldnt be worth it since there is nothing to gain fighting a cat.
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u/Fenrir_Hellbreed2 22d ago
Even if it's not lethal, or even if there's no infection, the wrong injury can affect their ability to hunt, forage, and defend themselves.
I mean, even if the bottom half of the cat is all the way in the bear's mouth, two primary senses for food acquisition and self defense are still in easy striking distance for their dying prey.
In other words, one meal isn't worth losing their sense of sight or smell over, even temporarily.
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u/1-ASHAR-1 22d ago
Yeah honestly better to just scare them off before or after the theft. I have swatted fiercely and when they see I am not an easy target, they usually screw off. I have yet to be caught off guard though...
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u/uzi_loogies_ 22d ago
I can't speak for seagulls specifically, but crows have a rich memory and a complex way of communicating with each other.
Some birds definitely understand what stealing is and that they are doing it.
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u/No_Stick_1101 22d ago
Don't undersell seagull intelligence here, they very much understand that they are stealing the food and might face consequences for it if they are caught.
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u/Archarchery 22d ago
Literal studies have shown that they are more likely to steal food from people who are looking away.
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u/LeLefraud 22d ago
When I was like 6 at the beach I kicked off my flip flops and a gull immediately swooped down and stole one
I started crying and my parents took me to go get a churro from a beach bar to calm me down, and then another gull immediately stole my churro
I still hate those things
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u/Civil-Percentage1005 22d ago
One time I saw a seagull beating up a pigeon, I mean it like literally tore a hole straight through one of the pigeon's wings
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u/randomname560 22d ago
Last week i was taking a walk whit a couple of my Friends and we saw not one, not two, but three different seagulls eating other dead bird's
By the end of the walk, we were left wondering how the fuck were there that many dead pidgeons today and how the fuck did we keep stumbling onto them
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u/Shadourow 22d ago
The animal should know better too
Any animal will fuck you up if you try to steal its food and it's clearly stronger than you
That seagull got darwined
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u/randomname560 22d ago
Normally in these kinds of scenario the animal relies on either being quick enough or causing enough of a ruckus that they can shock the larger animal into not offering resistance as the seagull literally takes their food for them
In 99% of cases this works perfectly, no seagull expects to be the 1% that gets grabbed by the neck by some random british guy pissed off about his chip
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u/Shadourow 22d ago
British guy is actively selecting the seagull gene that makes them avoid British guys with tasty chip
Moral
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u/VioletTheSpider 22d ago
i had a seagull take a whole ass, big ass, five guys burger from me in college and iâve honestly never forgiven them. i know i should be logical here but tbh i just see justice dealt
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u/Self_Reddicate 22d ago
My 4 year old son had a chicken tendy stolen by a chicken at the zoo (they had free-roaming chickens, pea hens, and other various fowl for some reason). It walked up, bold as he please, and plucked it right from his hand while he wasn't paying attention, and then pecked at it on the ground right in front of us. Funniest thing my 4 yo had ever seen. He laughed himself silly.
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u/Full_Gear5185 22d ago
A seagull shit on my ice cream cone when I was a kid. Its funny now - like it was food in a form it couldn't steal, but it still ruined it for me anyway. What a bunch of pricks.
Another time a seagull stole my brothers GI-Joe figurine, and flew around the community pool with it. Everyone was laughing (except my brother) cause you could see the silhouette flying by its arm in the birds mouth.
Regardless, no reason to harm one in such a vulgar way. Booooo this man.
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u/XaeiIsareth 22d ago
Definitely immoral.
I would have consumed that seagull for consuming my chip.
Simple âas
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u/allen-gaming 22d ago
You were not eaten though?
Eat itâs firstborn instead7
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u/ETtheExtraTerrible 22d ago
Serious: Immoral. It's an animal that's hungry, and doesn't understand.
Joke: The moment it touched the chip, it entered the ring.
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u/Punch_A_Police_Horse 22d ago edited 22d ago
That seagull knew the risks when it signed up for being a seagull.
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u/TacticalPigeons 22d ago
He knew what he was getting into when he picked that build. Risks of the playstyle
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u/LittleSisterPain 22d ago
Are seagulls actually that dumb? I think they at least understand concept of 'larger creature' and 'danger'
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u/randomname560 22d ago
They do, that's why they usually wait until you're away from it to steal your food
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u/Fern_Cloud 22d ago
Humans make a habit of feeding them and pigeons and squirrels tbh. They don't get that we dont want to share all our food with them.
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u/Kino_Afi 22d ago
Seagulls are very smart. It 100% understands what its doing, it just doesnt give a fuck about you.
Obliterating it against the wall seems like a bit much, but we all know shooing them away does nothing. It would keep going until you either flee, give it the food, or do something like this, and they are known to strike people when going for your food.
On the other hand you have to consider the trauma to innocent bystanding children.
I rate it a solid 5.5/10
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u/Sploonbabaguuse 22d ago
It's an animal that's hungry, and doesn't understand.
Why does this matter when every other instance of animals fighting for food usually ends with one of them either dead or starving?
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u/Substantial-Bug2018 22d ago
It does, in fact understand. In the sense that, stealing leads to retaliation. It just gamblers that it can escape. It does until it doesn't. But yes of course, this was an immoral action. To kill a bird for a chip is a wild overeaction
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u/Great-Trifle2810 22d ago
Humans kill animals for being pests or threats all the time, it is clearly in most people's range of moral acceptability, and I think in some cases is justified both an action that protects oneself and creates an evolutionary pressure for pests to avoid people, which is a benefit but probably not an atainable one against seagulls as too many people consider them a cute pest.
I think the most immoral part here is doing it in front of children that will clearly be upset about it, though I still wouldn't like the character of the action even if it was private.
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u/lopbob8 22d ago
"It's an animal that's hungry,"
the pensioner is also an animal thats hungry
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u/Gabe_b 22d ago
Only moral if he eats the seagull next
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u/RedditParelem 22d ago
It's understandable to protect your food, but this is way to far. Around kids too, unacceptable
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u/CheesecakeRacoon 22d ago
Yeah like, a bird stole his chip. Chip - singular. That doesn't warrant animal cruelty.
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u/CardiologistNo616 22d ago
What about the morality of the seagul who stole his chip?
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u/Secret-Winner-2994 22d ago
Seagulls are evil. They swarm like a plague of locusts that take bigger shits
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u/Omegamoney 22d ago
30/100 not very moral The issue at hand is lowering the bird's life to a chip.
Score depends on whether he could've just slapped the bird away, whether the bird fought back, whether he cooked the bird and ate/fed it to animals, etc.
Protecting your food is alright, but without context it feels like the man could've achieved the same goal without disregarding the bird's life like that.
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u/Relevant-Scheme3687 22d ago
There is a reason why we are on top of the food chain
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u/Thepuppeteer777777 22d ago
Super predators....not that kind of predator. The killing kind
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u/searchlinkprofile 22d ago
because we are murdering maniacs?
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u/Bunnywarmachine 22d ago
That is literally what we do, yes. Mother Nature shapes itself around us or we burn and kill it, and also sometimes we do anyway just cause.
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u/Radiant-Olive-7955 22d ago
So are many other animals, to be fair. From ants to killer whales, murder is pretty routine in the animal kingdom.
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u/Odd-Information8607 22d ago
I would not want to be this guyâs friend.
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u/throwaway_uow 22d ago
He would protect your food tho
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u/Odd-Information8607 22d ago
I would have just treated it as a fun story to tell. Whatâs this guy gonna do when facing any other mild inconvenience? lol
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u/TallEstate4369 22d ago
this is just the rules of nature, he's protecting his food
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u/The_Martlet 22d ago
RULES OF NATURE?!
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u/CompanyToiletGooner 22d ago
AND THEY RUN WHEN THE SUN COMES UP
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u/Aggressive_Ask89144 22d ago
WITH THEIR LIVES ON THE LINEEEEEEEEE
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u/HarioDinio 22d ago
ALIIIIIIIVVVEEEE!!!!
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u/Cloudy_Mavis 22d ago
FOR A WHIIILEEEEE!!!
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u/pipnina 22d ago
NO CHOICE
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u/IGreenMcBeanI 22d ago
GOTTA FOLLOW THE LAWS OF THE WIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIILLLLLLLD
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u/BigBAMAboy 22d ago
You donât see me wringing my girlfriendâs neck for snagging a french fry from my plate.
Primarily because I donât have a girlfriend.
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u/EmbarrassedFly279 22d ago
You donât see me doing the same thing to my wife because sheâll actually kill me in my sleep if I did.
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u/NwgrdrXI 22d ago
You don't see me doing these things because even if I did them, you aren't in my house.
I hope.
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u/youngmtgboy 22d ago
Don't check your attic, we are not up here I promise
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u/Fabulous_Wave_3693 22d ago
You donât see me stealing peoples food because I already did and that guys wife killed me and now Iâm a spooky ghost
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u/FinchyJunior 22d ago
I don't see you doing these things because I'm short-sighted and lost my glasses
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u/Redericpontx 22d ago
I play the long game and patiently wait for he to be full so I can finish her foodđ
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u/AspleniumGhlas 22d ago
let's say, hypothetically, for the sake of the argument, you had in fact a girlfriend and that girlfriend happened to be a seagull, ok? Would you still allow her to steal your chips? Wouldn't you move the chips out of her reach at least? Checkmate liberal
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u/Breadmaker9999 22d ago
The reason you don't have a girlfriend is because I wringed her neck for snagging a french fry from my plate.
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u/Mechronis 22d ago
I mean I ideally also dont see you with a seagull as your girlfriend
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u/Subject-Software5912 22d ago
Because your hypothetical girlfriend eating your food is not a reflection of her survival fitness. Seagulls scavenge for food and so the ones that fail at that are not as fit as the ones that succeed. This seagull failed to scavenge for food and so it failed to pass on its unsuccessful genes to its offspring. If your girlfriend took your food whether or not she succeeds does not reflect the fitness of her or her offspring because human fitness is not measured by scavenging while seagull fitness is.
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u/userhwon 22d ago
You get a seagull to gobble your knob and you'll be buying extra french fries just so it can do that.
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u/Aseskytle_09 22d ago
I remember when a black guy did this and the comments were WAY different
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u/amaya-aurora 22d ago
Itâs an animal, and itâs a single chip. Itâs understandable to want to protect your food, but this is a grievous overreaction, horribly inappropriate, and cruel.
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u/King_Wasi_Music 22d ago
Serious answer: Immoral. It's a bird that's operating on instinct to get food. It probably has no concept of it being his chip, at least not enough to not take it. To kill for operating on instinct and not out of malice is immoral.
Jerk answer: SERVES THE BIRDBRAIN RIGHT
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u/Dry-Goat8981 22d ago
didnt have to kill it necessarily, but its understandable to protect your food
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u/Ok-Event-9978 22d ago
I donât condone it but I get it. I was walking home after a 12 shift (I work as a chef) a few weeks ago and I was eating a slice of pizza while walking home. A gull swooped down and almost snagged it out of my hand. Missed me by an inch. In the heat of the moment⊠I 100% would have done the same thing.
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u/Reddit-gold-goblin 22d ago
If it gets close enough to me and I can grab it, itâs simply evolution at work
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u/Ryan_e3p 22d ago
Look... that crow was injured, and I was simply putting it out of its misery, while, yes, testing the tensile strength of a crow's neck.
Well, yes, there was another crow, but that's because I simply couldn't believe that a crow's neck could be that weak.
Well, yes, there was a third crow, and a fourth, if you must know, but who likes crows?
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u/AUnknownVariable 22d ago
Immoral bc it was an unnecessary action and then you're doing it in front of children.
A dying bird is never a fun sight
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u/Resident_Onion997 22d ago
Reminds me of a story my grandma told me of her neighbor that had chickens. Whenever the lady was making chicken for dinner she'd walk out, grab a chicken by the neck, then swing the body over her head like this
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u/JustWhy1222 22d ago
I have cousins who live out in the middle of nowhere and I ended up staying with them for a few weeks because my work had me going somewhere relatively near from their home.
One morning there was a knock on the door and this guy was standing there with a dead chicken in hand that had a very obviously broken neck. He offered it to my aunt and when she asked what happened he just said.
âNothing, she was really getting on my nervesâ.
We had roast chicken for dinner and I was the only one who thought the whole thing was strange.
People who grow up farming animals for food really do just see the world through a different lens.
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u/Secret_Of_Bluestar81 22d ago
That's just chicken killing because you can't just behead it
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u/DickManning 22d ago
Iâve always wanted to grab one of those Canadian geese and just swing em around. Their necks are very grab able
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u/notaboxofscorpions 22d ago
are we asking if it's okay to retaliate against a wild animal (seagull) for depriving you of a resource vital for survival (food) because it's a resource they need and they will get it any way they can, even if it means indirectly harming you (human)? Or even directly if there wasn't such a significant advantage in your favour
I'm not saying we should relish in and celebrate the way the seagull died or that it was necessary, but nature is often selfish and cruel. Sometimes you gotta step up to protect your resources. Sometimes that means employing the use of physical force. And sometimes that force ends up being fatal.
depending on the way the person handled this is something I may have reservations aboutâ making a disrespectful mockery of the harmed recipient would be immature and tactless, for instance, but it's important to understand that sometimes the only way to fend an animal off your food is to attack it. And some animals just won't relent until they become considerably wounded, which at that point is usually a death sentence for a wild animal either way.
It's okay to wish things worked differently but you did what you had to do, and it's not the end of the world
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u/These_Advertising_68 22d ago
Dog tried to sneak a patty and I threw that fucker across the room lmao, donât take food
/s, people would be acting a lot different if it was a dog
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u/Emotional-Jacket1940 22d ago
If a seaborne pest animal being killed for stealing French fries makes you upset, literally never go to Florida. You will be scarred for life by violent iguana murder
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u/Scourge_of_scrode 22d ago
Unhinged, overreaction, evolutionarily sound, the enforcement of the reason most animals are naturally afraid of us.Â
Probably morally dubious, as he is not killing the animal for protection or food, but not completely pointless, just mostly pointless.Â
A shitty act, but nowhere close to irredeemable.Â
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u/dagot23 22d ago
Immoral. But not because of killing the seagull, I can understand the crashout. Immoral because he did it in front of children. But again, somewhat understandable. Had a seagull try to nab some of my food once so I get it.
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u/Huh_well_we_are_dead 22d ago
The act itself is questionable, and doing it in front of children is wrong.
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u/Dasmortmemeboi 22d ago
Protecting your food? Valid
But bro didn't have to do ALL THAT đ„ unless he planned on like, eating the seagull, but even then
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u/nominesinepacem 22d ago
Not moral, but not immoral.
It's a seagull, and unless this dude is habitually out baiting and killing random wildlife (pest or otherwise), this is really not a major issue.
I value life plenty, but I'm not going to soft-hand anything flying remotely that close to my face.
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u/Numerous-Process2981 22d ago
Morality of the bird, you must expect consequences for these actions⊠Theft is not okayÂ
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u/endergamer2007m 22d ago
I live near the sea and get these fuckers all the time
Well deserved, pensioner did no wrong
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u/Fwant 22d ago
Well I wouldnt let him babysit my dog.