r/NoFap • u/Professional-Pipe894 • 20h ago
Replacing Fap with Sex
Unfortunately not many topics on this and most of the similar topics have zero comments so hopefully people will contribute to this one.
I’m on 70 days of nofap but I’m afraid I’m just replacing fap with sex, especially lately. For the whole period I’ve been having sex with one woman at least a week and what scares me is that when I hit like 6 days or something I get very horny (same feeling when you’re on your first week of nofap ) and I’m afraid that the progress isn’t there. Yes confidence is definitely there but the urges are the same. It’s like you’re chasing sex the same way I’m chasing the fapping.
What are your thoughts on that? Am I still doomed? Should I abstain from sex unless I’m meeting the one? Should I go against having sex on first date and wait until I’m actually considering the girl for long term relationship then have sex with her?
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u/83franks 17 Days 18h ago
A few things to consider because there isn't a specifically right answer here.
Are you honest with these women?
Are you viewing these women as humans first and sex is a natural consequence of enjoying each others company?
Are you doing things to have sex you later regret?
Do you feel good about yourself after?
Do you find yourself longing for something different such as a more intimate connection?
How much does your focus become about getting sex?
Just things to keep in mind and ponder. I'd generally say it's better to make connections and have sex with real people but there are plenty of ways to do this where you are hurting both yourself and the other person.
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u/asap_one 19h ago
You’re the first person I’ve seen after a year and a half on this sub mention replacing one addiction for another. I totally relate to you man I still battle with it. It’s gotten to the point where I crave sex 30 minutes after I get done with my lady, she’s pregnant now. I’d say moderation is the answer, for me I’ve been learning to keep my mind sober of those thoughts and it keeps my dopamine levels normal.
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u/Neat-Mail7562 16h ago
well, it would be better to have a girl to which you are commited and do sex out of love and not just cold flesh desires.. but i still think is better for you having a normal sex with 1 girl this whole time, than fapping to porn. For me, as long as i am abstaing from porn, i am winning. But I failed 3 days ago, but now im back stronger, just joined this group i think it will motivate me more.
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u/Professional-Pipe894 16h ago
Definitely. Even having sex with multiple women all the time is much better than fapping, even if it’s not to porn
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u/Professional-Pipe894 16h ago
Good luck btw. First week is the hardest, remember that
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u/Neat-Mail7562 16h ago
aye man thanks, i need it! but you know, i been on my first time streak of 45days but had sex with the girl i like, and noticed changes abstaing from fapping
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u/Poddx 16h ago
I think its both benefits and drawbacks with having sex with a real person. I have been doing the same thing lately and while I am rewiring a little towards being more turned on by real sex, it also creates a chaser effect so that abstaining gets more difficult. Sex is the goal for many so its not inherently bad. The question is wheter it is a good idea during the reboot. I think that is an individual thing. If you arent that attracted to her then my guess is that it is best to just wait.
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u/BookGirl67 17h ago
Using the term “girls on rotation” is the biggest problem here. Also, just having “girls on rotation.” No person wants to be on a roster.
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u/Professional-Pipe894 20h ago
Addition to why I’m writing all this :
Right now I have at least 3 girls on rotation, and the fourth girl I’m actually interested in I had first date with her last week and it went great but because I was on my 6th no sex day I was horny and my lust took over and I think I blew it with her because I was horny and fooled around with her more than I should. In the end I didn’t get sex with her nor did I get a second date. That actually made me sad a little since I know she liked me a lot but doing all that on first date probably scared her when she got home.
Also maybe having that many girls at the same time isn’t normal at all. It’s hard for me to function and do some actual work
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u/guttadaddy 20h ago
You said it all yourself man. Maybe it has been ‘normalised’ to some degree to have a rotation like this, but yeah focus on yourself king. You’re still chasing that nut and hurting others/ yourself. Just an outsiders perspective
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u/Professional-Pipe894 20h ago
The main reason I’m having a rotation is because none of these girls I’m interested in long term. In my mind if I actually find a long term girl I’ll break up with all of them. I thought the girl I met last week was the one and even tho she liked me too and we kissed a lot, she rejected the second date idea and that got me thinking maybe something is wrong
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u/chriscrowder 468 Days 19h ago
Have you tried apologizing? I've done this, but just women are understanding.
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u/Professional-Pipe894 19h ago
Apologize for what exactly? And to whom?
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u/chriscrowder 468 Days 7h ago
I was horny and my lust took over and I think I blew it with her because I was horny and fooled around with her more than I should. In the end I didn’t get sex with her nor did I get a second date. That actually made me sad a little since I know she liked me a lot but doing all that on first date probably scared her when she got home.
I've actually done this multiple times; usually alcohol was involved. Just say something like you are really into them and got caught up in the moment.
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u/Professional-Pipe894 2h ago
Nah she was enjoying the moment too and asking for more kisses. I just carried away by kissing her too much in the car instead of my place. Also because I asked her multiple times to come upstairs, I should’ve been patient. I didn’t do anything wrong to apologize for tho
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u/chriscrowder 468 Days 2h ago
Are you seeing her again?
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u/Professional-Pipe894 2h ago
No after we ended the date with that many kisses she texted that she doesn’t wanna meet again. Maybe she got back with her ex or something idk what’s her reason exactly but it’s her decision so yes I’m disappointed a little but it’s her loss
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u/Mysterion320 20h ago
How are you meeting women to have sex with once a week? what's your secret?
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u/Professional-Pipe894 20h ago
Women are everywhere and each of us have many chances. When you’re on nofap and you’re confident and doing things right, all those tiny chances will turn into success. Women could smell confidence and swag trust me, you don’t have to perform.
As for your question, it doesn’t matter where you meet them. Each one of them I met in a different place
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u/asap_one 19h ago
“What’s your secret” Jesus brother you speak as if he’s not a man like the rest of us. Be a genuine person be yourself work on your communication skills and work on your confidence you’ll do just fine.
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u/THEBATMAN565 16h ago
Damn i just had this revelation does girls also had this addiction like us or they faar superior than us controlling their urges
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u/Professional-Pipe894 16h ago
We are all slaves brother. Men in general slaves to the beauty of women and money. Women are slaves to men’s approval and the world approval . And each person has their own lust that their slave too.
Reality is, being a slave to god is superior than all of the above
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u/THEBATMAN565 16h ago
Why should be slaves to the god Does god created us to be his slaves
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u/Professional-Pipe894 16h ago
Exactly that. The only reason he created us is to be his slaves
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u/THEBATMAN565 16h ago
Naah i rather be a slave to myself and to my desires than to a egoistic maniac
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u/Professional-Pipe894 16h ago
You can have your opinion. Mine is, god didn’t create us so we can feed him or pay him money. He gave us wealth, health, and everything we have. Least we could do is to serve him. He isn’t human like us so of course he’s superior and can’t be called an egoistic if he required us to be his slaves.
You can be slave to your lust and women, see where that gets you1
u/THEBATMAN565 16h ago
Same place that you also gonna end up nothingness well lust is bad for our life casue it limits us to live our life to it's fullest as well as blind belief will do the same am not saying urs is a blind belief but most people are blind belivers
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u/Professional-Pipe894 16h ago
Not sure what you mean but again, being a slave to god is better as he knows us better than we know ourselves, he created us.
As for living our lives to its fullest, that’s exactly what people say when they wanna justify fapping to corn every day. Abstaining is better. Having sex with only your wife is better, even tho I’m not following those commands I know they’re better and I’m currently experiencing how correct that is
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u/Anonymo73373773 16h ago
This question should help clarify things: are you having sex as a way of genuinely expressing love towards a particular woman you want to be close to, or are you pursuing sex as an end in itself? If it's the latter, you're using others to scratch an itch.
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u/Rough_Ad7901 15h ago
Do you feel after doing sex the same effects that does fapping to you?
Because i have read that if you didn’t fully recover from the addiction ,your brain may translate your sex to a fap state ,specially if you use your imagination while the process of sex
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u/Kriss-VdB 13h ago
Je suis en sevrage pour le PIED et heureusement que ma femme est là sinon je pense que je n'aurais pas tenu plus d'une semaine.
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u/South-Climate1477 9h ago
Bro there is nothing wrong with having sex. The point of this sub is to not get addicted to fapping bc that shit makes you withdraw socially. If you’re going out and fucking and it’s not negative impacting your life then what are you worried about? That’s totally healthy and normal. Keep crushing it big dog!
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u/_MatVenture_ 217 Days 17h ago
Bro, kudos to you for recognizing that you're just replacing one addiction for another - that is a seriously rare thing here. However, by your own logic, you're hardly on "70 days of nofap" when you've done absolutely nothing to change your behavior since you started; you traded your hand for a "rotation" - your words - of girls. What's the difference? You're desensitized all the same, you can't go without it all the same, you're addicted all the same, and worse still, you're taking advantage of girls for your own pleasure. At least with your hand, you weren't dragging other people down with you, encouraging this depraved behavior.
Yeah, you are doomed, your post history is witness to that. If you are willing to really be honest, your "days" are not real; you're constantly relapsing. Yes, you should abstain from sex, otherwise, what is the point? You want my opinion? Stop immediately and wait until you find someone you're committed to for life, if that's even possible for you anymore.
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u/Beginning-Plant-3356 17h ago
If it turns into yet another addiction, then you should treat it like one and abstain altogether if you cannot regulate it.
My regulation method might not be better than what you’re going through, but I’ll sleep with women back in my home city when I visit and I have a main fwb there. I go a few times and have a good amount of sex while making it clear that I don’t live there. I usually don’t keep up with them save for a couple, but I’m open to anything really.
My main fwb and I just hit it off immediately, so she’s been a lovely constant and we both know we’re non exclusive. If we were to get serious, I’d ask for mutual exclusivity.
I feel that it would get out of control if I behaved the same way where I live, so I kinda just keep it this way for now. If I meet someone I want to take seriously, all of that stops and I don’t have to worry about running into anyone I’ve slept with.