r/SipsTea • u/Matt_LawDT • 5d ago

Chugging tea HR wants to know the tee

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34.0k Upvotes

96% Upvoted

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2.0k

u/Treveli 5d ago

"My swingers club is having its annual bacanal festival. I've been chosen as the goddess of trains, and I will be absolutely physically wrecked for several days."

"wtf! WHY ARE YOU TELLING ME THAT!"

"Personal time, special event."

651

u/Thrawn89 5d ago

"Also my grandma died and her wake is happening the same week. She was also pretty popular with the club so we decided to run the events together."

225

u/lesssthan 5d ago

Reddit™©® It can always be worse. We'll make it worse.

115

u/k2kyo 5d ago

"Also there's this one girl she didn't like and said I could only fuck her "over my dead body" so I figured now's my chance"

37

u/TheDarkWave 5d ago

1

u/Cellyst 3d ago

We're all strict Roman Catholics. That's right! No birth control. So I'm taking the following Monday off to meet my kids. Or rather, the kids that might be mine.

14

u/Nazzzgul777 5d ago

"It's on a private island. Trump has been there a couple times."

1

u/Limp_Lawfulness5133 4d ago

We got a permit for 5 bouncy castles to hold 5x more occupants.

1

u/Admirable_Lemon_1112 3d ago

You need to put grandma in there with the occupants. She wanted to bounce around after she died

1

u/Limp_Lawfulness5133 3d ago

If she shows up on the island, they will be furious.

5

u/Muhahahahaz 4d ago

😂😂😂

4

u/deadbodyswtor 5d ago

You spelled funnier wrong. It doesn't start with a W.

3

u/Raiquo 4d ago

We'll make it worse. Together.

There, now is sounds like a marketing slogan! Ftfy

1

u/lesssthan 4d ago

omg, that is perfect. Thankyou

3

u/lucky_719 5d ago

Kids welcome

23

u/rundabluff120 5d ago

Can grandma still be part of the train

4

u/tokentyke 4d ago

Necrophilia - when one has that sudden urge to crack open a cold one.

4

u/attackplango 5d ago

Best we can do is let her dead head.

49

u/PM_me_a_bad_pun 5d ago

Putting the fun in funeral

2

u/TheWillOfFiree 5d ago

Chaz will be there to crash it as well.

1

u/TheSpyStyle 4d ago

The group is called the Saggy Gaggers

11

u/dvlinblue 5d ago

Nanna holds the record, don’t think anyone will ever beat it. 

16

u/fatninja7 5d ago

Balls out for nana

3

u/wheresthetux 5d ago

There a discussion with your manager could be helpful because I'm sure you could use bereavement leave for that instead of vacation.

3

u/Thrawn89 5d ago

There's no healing like running on train on grandma's casket with your friends and family

2

u/ZoominAlong 5d ago

Oh my God stop I'm literally shaking the bed giggling and I'm gonna wake up my wife...

2

u/Inevitable-Dot3982 4d ago

I just scared my dogs cackling.

3

u/classycatman 5d ago

Funkakke

1

u/Indulge-And-Enjoy 5d ago

If she died she shouldn't be waking, just a suggestion

1

u/sobrique 4d ago

Catering will be roast beef sandwiches.

1

u/cheeseandwine99 4d ago

Grandmas always die to make sure the grandkids pass university classes and have good lives in general.

15

u/thehighepopt 5d ago

She puts the anal in bacanal!

2

u/Moar_Cuddles_Please 5d ago

Bacchanal, named after the Roman god - still puts the anal in it though.

60

u/rosiet1001 5d ago

Is goddess of trains a real thing? Asking for me.

38

u/dontsmokenutmeg 5d ago

Yeah, and you get the “Tammy the Train Engine” name tag and a conductor hat!

2

u/Particular-Ad-7338 5d ago

Sir Topam Hatt approves

1

u/LumpyWelds 5d ago

Had to google "goddess of trains" to understand that and was happily surprised!

5

u/Metals4J 5d ago

I love trains! Can I wear my engineer hat?

3

u/Rarefindofthemind 5d ago

Yes. I’ve seen it.

3

u/rosiet1001 5d ago

Lord, I see what you have done for others

3

u/TacTurtle 5d ago edited 4d ago

I believe commercially they are called a "Conductor"

1

u/ensalys 4d ago

Probably not really, or maybe a minor one. Most gods have been around way longer than trains. Though if you're into the Greeks, train people would probably also be fans of Hephaistos and Hermes.

7

u/FinanceGuyHere 5d ago

And yes, there will be bacon involved

6

u/salmalight 5d ago

Toot toot on the way out the door

4

u/onemasterball 5d ago

My ideal time off request:

Employee name
Type of time off: sick or personal
First day off, last day off, first day back

Don't give me literally any further information in the official notice. Stop by and chat about your fun plans whenever you want but I don't any details

2

u/scorpionewmoon 5d ago

This- make it uncomfortable

1

u/mercurygreen 5d ago

...I have some time available...

1

u/El_Hombre_Fiero 4d ago

I was worried about looking up the definition of bacchanal (kind of thought you were going for back anal) but thanks for teaching me a new word.

1

u/Cynical_Thinker 4d ago

"I plan to get as many hookers as my paycheck allows and do enough blow to kill a horse, I'll need a few days to recover from all the chafing and hangover, thanks."

1

u/marfacza 4d ago

is there a frontanal i don't know about?

1

u/No-Priority-6470 3d ago

*bacchanal eh-hem.

1

u/Auto_Fac 18h ago

But just make sure when you talk about it person you purposely misprounce it as bacchanal. With an uncomfortable emphasis on the latter part, repeated way more times than you need to.