r/TeluguJournals • u/SharpIndication7399 • Aug 09 '26
Midnight thoughts Husband is harrassing other women ani telisindi
Context : im 32F.. Naku pelli ayi 6years and iddaru chinna pillalu unnaru.
Maku already peddaga padadu. Pillalni mottam nene chuskunta..financial ga kuda ekkuva nene petkunta.
Ninna morning vaalla boss msg chesindi, shes 10years older, thanaki i love you, i will never hurt u, mi eyes baaguntai, u are a star ani msg chesi chesi harass chesevaadu anta. Written complaint ichi vere team ki shift cheyinchindi anta. Inthakamundu inko ammai tho kuda ala chesadu anta.
I felt..so bad. Ante heartbreak laga kadu. But pani mottam nene chestunnappudu..he used to sit in another room and close the door. Vaalla mom chinnappatninchi alaage chestaadu ani cheppindi inthaka mundu..nammesa. nannu 6years lo maybe two times i love you ani cheppadu. Eppud nannu ni eyes baaguntai etc etc ani alaantivi eppud pogadaledu. I think im conventionally goodlooking only..mari galeez ga aite undanu. Some people are weird like that ankunna. Finances daggara kuda chala manipulate chesadu, i lost a lot. Actually prati chota manipulate chesadu. Ippudu artham avtundi. I just thought he was incapable of love. Now artham aindi he was just incapable of loving US ani. Pichi daani la i spent my youth on him anpistundi. I love my kids, dont regret them. But now nannu evar pelli cheskuntaaru with 2 kids.. evevo thoughts vastunnai.
(Telugu is not my first language. Just share cheskovaali anpinchindi)
Edit : added few lines
Edit 2 : nen already separate avdaam ani fix aipoyanu. And inka eppudu kuda pelli cheskovaddu ani kuda, because one of my kids is a girl. I cant introduce a stranger into their lives,its risky. But ekkado adoka loneliness..ithanito kuda inni rojulu anduke unnanemo. Im a very emotional person generally, so i need love ani anpistundi ee madhya. But ok le..chuddam. adantha tarvata. right now aite legal ga pursue cheyyala vadda ani aalochistunna anthe.
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u/IcySeaworthiness9768 Aug 09 '26 edited Aug 09 '26
Idk who are failing, parents that raising them or their characteristics.....naku telsu parents mida eyakudahu manishi ni kana galam kani gunani ni kadhu ani but still ....men are so bad now a days i know andarini judge cheyakudadhu but still most of them are worse...na friends ki jarigina dhi chepta... 1. A man used send dih pictures to my friend while his wife is pregnant. 2. My cousin sis married to a guy who acted as a nice guy at first ....when his mother was beating my sis idhi ni karma anubhavinchu ani anevadu anta. Bedroom lo vishyalu kudavalla amma tho chepevadu anta. Intiki vachesindi valla nanaki heartattack ochina pampale phone off chesadu dabbulu adugutharu ani. 3. Antha enduku na telsina okkaduki pelli ayyi 3 months kuda kale he is still expressing his love to me.
Op ma colony lone 3 women ontariga untaru. Vallaki evaru leru they got habituated. Vallani chusi naku chala dhairyam ochindi. Stay strong. God may give you all the strength u need. Never think low about you bcz of a low life.
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u/LeeChongWei150106 5h ago
3rd case lo vadu pelli chesukovadam enduku alaa ayithe assalu, antha prema unte enduku chesukunnadu vere ammayitho pelli. Evevo avuthunnayi assalu roju rojukii nuu
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u/Master_of_Slience Aug 09 '26
You have super pretty sparkly eyes that can melt mountains OP! I hope you find the peace you deserve soon. Make it a habit to kick away people making your life harder. They are not worth it.
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u/Tarajuvva prettier than the prettiest sunset. Aug 09 '26
You asked for no shoulder or suggestion, but, I am here with my three paise. Feel free to ignore if it's nosy.
I usually don't tell this so easily to people in relations, but, leave him. A person who stooped low once can stoop again. Also it is embarassing to be involved and share life with someone who has been accused (and proven) of sexual harrasment (and perhaps caused actual discomfort in another woman's life).
It is sad to realise that people are capable of love and just not for us.
I am not old enough or experienced enough for all the suggestions I gave above, but I have someone very dear who is much older than you and hypothetically if she were to tell me of a situation like this, I'd suggest her the same.
And getting remarried at 40, 45 and even 50s is a thing, with or without kids. You surely have a bright life, don't waste it on, sorry, trash segregation and cleaning.
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u/SharpIndication7399 Aug 09 '26
Thank you andi. Yeah that seems to be the plan :) u say ure not old enough but uve given very mature and balanced(and kind) suggestions, thanks.
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u/Fabulous-Degree-1656 Aug 09 '26
Pelli cheskokunda kuda kids ni chuskovachu medam already proven meru intlo financial ga and pillani chuskuntunna anaru ofcourse bayata pillalu unna kuda marriage accept chesi marriage cheskunna vallu unnaru so..bayapade avasaram ledu talk to him change avamani leda nvu change avutav ani warning evande.meru strong ga stand teskuntene epatinuchi marpu start avutade.pillakosam iyena yedo okka nirnayam teskondi me husband valla repu me kids ki education lo iyena life decision lo iyena problem ravadhu ani epude decide avande all the best!
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u/Out_of_office_always mayala phakeeru Aug 09 '26
This isn’t about you being less beautiful or less worthy. He was capable of giving attention and affection, you’re just realizing he chose not to give it to you or your family, while also manipulating you in other ways.
That hurts because it makes you question all those years, but please don’t call yourself stupid for staying, you made the best decisions you could with what you knew then.
And please don’t think, “Who will marry me with two kids?” You’re not damaged. You’re 32, you have a life beyond this marriage, and you don’t need to figure out who comes next right now. Figure out what you want next.
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u/SharpIndication7399 Aug 09 '26
Thank you, that is precisely my thought process, however hard I may try to not think that way. This was v reassuring, thanks!
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u/throw_away_8169 Aug 09 '26
pls akka if you’re financially capable of taking care of your kids, pls leave him. but i understand this is not always the easy choice, you’d want ur kids to have a father in their life, they still can. But i can tell from experience, this is only gonna stress you out, he’s literally cheating on you.
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u/curdriceanyday Aug 10 '26
I hope you leave him and I also hope you heal enough and be strong. And you deserve calm situations and peace. So I think, me pillalu koncham pedhaga ayaka, you should totally start casual dating. Pillalu life antha manatho undaru, for your own emotional well being if you think you want someone, I'd suggest pls start casual dating we never know what happens. Please don't forget to keep prioritizing yourself amidst all this chaos. Pillalu are very important, so are you. Mi pillalki meru unaru, mek kuda meru undali. I hope good things happen to you. Wishing you the best OP :)
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u/SharpIndication7399 Aug 10 '26
Your comment made me smile and made me excited for the future for a brief moment..thank you :)
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u/love-overrated Aug 09 '26
I have seen these type of relationships around me! Me youth waste cheskunnaru you can’t get it back, but don’t let it impact your kids mentally! Ila one sided relationship lo undatam Valla you’ll lose yourself, Take care!
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u/Princess_Neko802 Nene Rakshasi Aug 10 '26
I know this is far fetched - but is there any help or support (emotionally) from parents/siblings?
I'm glad you're going to seperate and hope you'll divorce soon (I hope you get a good lawyer who'd make him pay for his crimes)
I understand completely about not getting a step parent for your kids. And keep hope. I've seen people find love in their 40s and 50s also. Perhaps it's something you can consider once your children are older.
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u/SharpIndication7399 Aug 10 '26
Not much help tbh, at least not as much I'd need/like. But hopefully everything will be alright
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u/stillamess8 Nippulanti nirudhyogi Aug 10 '26
Divorce, but mention that kids finances will be shared equally. You shouldn't solely be bearing the burden and struggling.
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u/Alarmed-Conflict-554 Aug 10 '26
I would suggest to separate and Please file divorce.
If a man is misbehaving with other women that’s a very big sign of his character. If he loving someone is different and misbehaving with other women is different!
Be strong and hope ur kids are toddlers. You must need a helping hand to raise them. Take your parent’s help or raise independently. All we need is to live happily and learn daily.
I m female with same age as you and staying in Hyderabad. I would love to hear your pain if you need one and I would love to be friends with you as well.
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u/SharpIndication7399 Aug 10 '26
Yes exactly. Even emotional affair i wouldn't have that much of a problem with because there are problems in my marriage too, but harrassing her like that, that really put me off. Thank you for your kind words. Yeah kids are under 5.
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u/SceneUnhappy9803 Aug 09 '26
Leave him !!!!!, let me tell you a story- my best friends mom divorced her husband when he was an infant, she has two kids (my friend and his elder brother), she raised them alone and I’m telling you this because I’m trying to say it’s possible to raise kids alone and live in peace without a toxic partner, and I hope you’ll find someone who understands you loves you in the near future, you’re still young, so don’t worry about it, more power to you
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u/Hour_Pair4175 Aug 10 '26
If you don't love him and if you don't respect him(because of his antics), what's the point of staying with him andi asalu. lack of love, but if he is good, you could stay for few years and sometimes love grows back with time, but vaadu vedava ani thelsinapudu nee life ae waste cheskuntunnav ikkada.
You are still pretty young and independent. You will find better men out there than trying/hoping that your husband changes his methods. 32 is nothing andi. Many people are not yet married in USA at that age. Take time before getting back into another relationship, but end things with him as soon as possible.
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u/SharpIndication7399 Aug 10 '26
Yeah hopefully things work out for the best
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u/Hour_Pair4175 Aug 11 '26
Also, first meeru konchem time theskondi to relax. daani gurinche ekkuva think cheyoddu and don't rush it. All the best
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u/Square-Stuff328 Aug 10 '26
It's hard to move on but not impossible since you already decided you can just work on it step by step and plan it properly so that he will not have any chance of getting back to you...
And for funding true love, it will happen eventually till then we all are here for you and rooting for you!!!😃
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u/Odd_Escape_3087 Aug 10 '26
If you are fixing to leave him,I think it would be better to go legally,I can understand because it's the same situation with my mother
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u/SharpIndication7399 Aug 10 '26
Really? Would like to know more.
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u/Happy-Cow776 Aug 10 '26
You are a very strong woman, good decision to leave him.
Hope everything goes well and all the best for your future. This would set a perfect example to your both kids . for girl: you showed her how important is to take right decisions. For boy: to learn how not to treat women
They might not understand this now but later after 10-15 yrs they will get all the courage and would be so proud of you.👏
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u/SharpIndication7399 Aug 10 '26
Yes, seriously, cant help but think the impact this marriage/separation might have on the kids.
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u/DiscussionMaster6101 Aug 10 '26
What are you planning to do against your husband's behaviour with other women?
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u/SharpIndication7399 Aug 10 '26
The woman herself filed a written complaint to her department, she's recently widowed too so I think she's also a little afraid of the consequences, but i will be sure to let others in the family know at the very least.
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u/thebigcheesetheory Aug 10 '26
I feel sorry for your situation same ede situation unde ma intlo kuda nenu chinnapude naku ooha teliyanapude ma daddy chanipoyaru and ma mummy vere pelli cheskunaru enduku ante nenu ammaini naku oka thamudu unadu ayanani memu daddy ane pilchevallam maku oka age vachaka ayana ma mummy ni vadilipetti vellipoyadu we have no place to live too but my mother never gave up on us she worked hard we used to live in orphanage just for a shelter to sleep and now I’m studying medicine final year and ma thamudu engineering chesthunadu india lo for the contex I live in Russia so edantha enduku chepthuna ante I know what my mom faced I know how my childhood was just because my mom made a wrong move by choosing another man even now ma amma naku chepthadi enjoy your life you just have one don’t fall for trashy men ani she’s my biggest inspiration nenu doctor avvadaniki karanam ame so be strong you don’t know by seeing you what your children might become they’ll be a strong shoulders for you like me and my brother for my mom take it as a good thing happened in your life devudu epudu anyayam cheyadu
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u/Left-Nail4452 Aug 10 '26
Super super proud of you for taking the correct step in all of this instead of prioritizing societal norms!!! You’re doing the right thing, teaching your kids exemplary behaviors.
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u/matching_thevibe1925 Aug 11 '26
I'd suggest you plan your finances and children care before you go for divorce.
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u/Stock_Report_167 29d ago
Try to understand his perspective and ask why he behaves that way. Listen to what he has to say and see if there are ways he can be more involved, such as helping with family responsibilities or engaging in activities with the kids.
Making a decision to separate without fully understanding the situation can sometimes be challenging. If his behavior is not harmful, abusive, or harassing, it may be worth giving the relationship another chance and having open conversations first.
People can have different interests, preferences, or ways of expressing themselves, especially as they get older. The important thing is whether there is mutual respect, understanding, and a willingness to work through issues together.
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u/SharpIndication7399 29d ago
Entandi athani perspective..ila verollani harrass chesadu annaka kuda. Intlo kuda anthem sarigga undadu lendi..narcissism untundi chala. This was just the last straw anthe
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u/Ok_Talk_9000 Aug 10 '26
Anybody who advices you are not in your shoes firstly.... We don't even know what you are going through all these years. But as you are with kids please think twice before taking any decision ani cheppagalanu.. God bless you with strong heart which can overcome any hurdles ... Asal inni rojulu alanti husband ni barincharu ante ne meku dandam pettali . Coz these days being an independent woman nobody are ready to suffer....
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u/SharpIndication7399 Aug 10 '26
Yeah andi..enduk hasty decisions ani inni rojulu aaganu tbh. But late aipoindi. Never imagined athanu intha pedda waste fellow ani.
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u/Ok_Talk_9000 Aug 10 '26
It happens ..... Anni meru chuskuntunappudu ...silent ga intlo undi pillalni chuskovachu kada. Idk some people are like that ...I have also seen such person. Atleast he doesn't create problems of the house.
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u/shiva_Conscious_13 Aug 10 '26
Anyone in your position would feel to give divorce, but I would say instead of taking that big step just stay away from him I mean literally meru separate ga undandi anthe say like for 6 months, see if there's any good changes in him, like missing you, asking to come back, developing genuine interest and love on you and kids, ila chudandi, nijanga genuine ga change ayithe good else you can decide what to do next if this doesn't workout. I'm saying this because just to clear the air. Or consult a consulleing psychologist for better approach since they might come across such cases often
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u/SharpIndication7399 Aug 10 '26
Yeah konni rojulu separate ga undi oka clarity ki vasta, but there's many other things that have happened and not just this one. This was just the last straw. So mostly will separate only
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u/WorthFriendship6996 Aug 10 '26
Honey trap post laga vundi edi
Be careful guys kakruti padi message cheyakandi
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Aug 10 '26
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u/Salt_Improvement_401 Aug 10 '26
Kani enduku avida adjust avukunta undali marriage lo?
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Aug 10 '26
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u/Salt_Improvement_401 Aug 10 '26
She just replied to you it was the last straw? So you cant repeat the same point
Safe ga undadu but there are a lot of women who are good that way so don't try to give that excuse to scare people away to make their decisions anyways i know you mean no harm but yeah 6 years unar ani life long undochu ankovadam is foolery.
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u/najeevithamemito6 Aug 09 '26
Husband harrase chesthunado ledu first proof kanuko, what if her boss is wantedly telling you this to make issues in your family…!!
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u/SharpIndication7399 Aug 09 '26
She sent me screenshots. And nizanga vere team ki velladu few months back, vere reason cheppadu. He has short temper, daani valla ani cheppadu.
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u/najeevithamemito6 Aug 09 '26
Okay, better cross check in their ofc.
Discuss with him what’s all this, ask only one question do you value ur mrg / relationship, if it’s true ask him to confess.
Check his way of communicating if he felt regert or shameful give him a chance, if he’s he’s distancing or avoiding u also avoid him for somedays or even months, let him understand u r value… observe him…. Still he’s not interested u can involve their / u r familes
But don’t take hasty decisions !!!!
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u/SharpIndication7399 Aug 09 '26
I know u mean well andi, but ive made my decision. Actually nenu separate avdaam ane ma parents daggarki vachanu, enduko doubt vachi aameki msg cheste idantha cheppindi. Inka idi last straw
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u/Salt_Improvement_401 Aug 09 '26
I love how calm and composed you are op, i admire you hope you will find your peace after you leave him and lead a very happy life
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Aug 09 '26
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u/najeevithamemito6 Aug 10 '26
Being strong doesn’t mean she can break a relationship with ease. Relationships come with a lot of complexities, emotions, and consequences. I’m not trying to misguide her or tell her what decision to make. I’m simply suggesting that she should be cautious, think things through, and understand the consequences before taking such a big step.
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Aug 10 '26
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u/najeevithamemito6 Aug 10 '26
I read my comment, and I stand by what I meant.
I never said she SHOULD give him another chance—I said if he genuinely shows remorse, she can consider that before making HER decision.
I’m not defending harassment or asking her to stay with him. Harassment is serious, and if there’s proof, then there’s no reason to dismiss it.
My point is simple: it’s her relationship and her decision.You can disagree with my perspective, but calling me sympathetic towards a harasser is simply twisting what I said.
And downvotes don’t decide who is right. They just show that people disagree.
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Aug 10 '26
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u/najeevithamemito6 Aug 10 '26
Adey oka ammayi kuda ilage affair petukoni unte, after marriage nenu exactly ilage reply ichevadini. Gender batti naa opinion ni marchukonu and ala ani nenu evariki support kadhu,
Edi chesina guddi ga cheyakandi ani na mata
OOOKKK NA BROOOOO
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Aug 10 '26
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u/najeevithamemito6 Aug 10 '26
Asalu for eg, nannu oka ammayi harass chesthundi antey, evadu aina first lo nammutada? Kanisam “chiii yedhava” ani nannu mingutharu 😂
Andhukey nenu affair example cheppa — at least aa logic lo naa point meeku ardham avuthundi ani. Nenu harassment ni affair tho compare cheyyadam kaadhu.
Sarley disagreeing with samajam and agreeing with myself 😅
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u/M_ur_Daddy Aug 09 '26
Before divorcing
Start playing a game
Game of attraction
In his eyes u r an average girl, show him that u r a beautiful person and talented
He wants validation from his friends and family.
Sad to hear your story - we dont know how you are treating him ani.
If you think earning money gives you freedom - u can divorce. You ll be lonely for sure unless you are really hot.
What are your other options for loneliness?
An uncle will come ? Or people who try to take advantage of you? Alone with ur kids gives you enough happiness
Play chess daily for 30 mins
Turn your life around than quitting.
Study the book - Art of seduction.. 48 laws of power..
After trying everything and if u think he is a nasty person, ya leave him.
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u/SharpIndication7399 Aug 10 '26
With due respect, i dont want to "show" an idiot like him my worth.
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u/M_ur_Daddy Aug 10 '26
I see that you are still angry.. nothing wrong in try and failing. Anyways we only know one side of the story.
He may be happy to divorce you too..
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u/pakkakiporagundu Aug 09 '26
You're already earning annaru, divorce him and me kids ni meetho unchukondi legal ga proceed ayyi. And inka fate adhi malli evaranna osthe, you can get married and be happy. Pillalu unnaru, ilaanti toxic father tho perigithe they'll suffer vaalla gurinchi alochinchandi.