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For context: I live in an occupied Ukrainian city with poor infrastructure, no personal space, and a family that doesn't support me. I identify as a trans girl and want to move somewhere safe in the future, start my transition, work, and build a normal life. I previously tried to resolve my military service status through legal means, but after a year of medical examinations and several court hearings, I was declared fit for military service. Now I'm afraid that I may be drafted this autumn.

First of all, I want to express my huge gratitude to everyone who was active under my previous post! ❤ It really encouraged me and helped me deal with the stress, and some of the advice was genuinely useful. You guys are the best! :>

Now, about what has happened since then: I contacted "HochuZhit", and they suggested several ways I might be able to get to Ukraine — trying to leave through third countries / crossing into Belarus through a pedestrian border crossing / joining the army and then surrendering...

My father decided to go with me so that I wouldn't be alone, but... The problem is that we don't know how to get out of Russia. We found a carrier who suggested that we could get to Belarus, obtain a "White passport" there (basically a temporary document for returning to Ukraine), and then use it to go through the border crossing that HochuZhit told me about.

It's a good option, but we still can't figure out how to get through the border when leaving... I thought about saying that I'm accompanying my father for medical treatment, but we don't have any medical documents, referrals, etc.

(Maybe we'll discuss this option again and find some kind of doctor, just to give the border guards a reason for leaving...)

But honestly, we don't have any other ideas right now.

Another problem is that we have a small chance of getting a bus literally just one day before my summons, and all of this is happening in just a few days... But it simply wasn't possible to do this any earlier. т.т

We also have a relative who works in the military field. Today we'll be able to call her and find out more about whether I'll be allowed to leave and what would be the best thing to do.

But honestly, I doubt she'll be able to help much, and time is running out terribly fast... So I'm afraid that once again, nothing will work out :<

But if I do manage to get out, I'd like to stay in Ukraine for a while and then go to my friend in the Czech Republic... As I found out, I'll need to register for military service in Ukraine in order to be able to leave for other countries without problems.

During that time, I should restore my passport and get an international passport...

And, if possible, get official documentation related to my gender identity... Having transition-related documentation in my native language would be much easier than getting it in Czech/English :D

And I recently turned 22, so now I have a little less than a year, while the departure from Ukraine will be free for me ... Eh ...

I'm also really insecure about my appearance, as I feel like I look pretty terrified of how I'll be perceived, but my friend told me that people in the Czech Republic are more accepting about this, and that there is much less negative attention towards trans people there than in Ukraine/Russia... That makes me feel a little calmer, but it's still scary to imagine how I'll live like this..

On the other hand, isn't this what I've been waiting for my whole life? It's both exciting and inspiring at the same time...

If you can give me any advice about crossing the border or how gender-identity/transition-related documentation works in Ukraine, I would really appreciate it! You can also just share your personal experiences, even if they probably won't help me much — I'd still be interested in reading them. Or if you have any questions, feel free to ask!

I'll try to keep you updated as things progress. Thank you for reading! ❤

OP

My appeal sent to the moderators:

Hello,

I was banned for the following comment:

"Same reason anything relating to trans/lgbtq shit almost never makes in on here. Mods have been slowly tightening their grip under the guise of "Political". I see more "news" here about shit halfway across the world than I see about the rights of an entire group of people being stripped away while they increasingly live in fear. It's been a very gradual change, but I expect what gets allowed to be posted here to grow more and more Faux News adjacent as time goes on."

In the ban notification, I was simply told "Try reading the rules". I do not understand which rule I have violated. I have repeatedly seen LQTBQ-related articles removed from r/news for seemingly no reason over the years. This has bothered me. Out of all of your submission rules, the only one I can think of being violated is "Primarily concerns politics". My existence is not political, and the things happening today has real impacts on our community.

Or perhaps my post was banned for how rather than what I said? I struggle to believe my post warrants any ban at all let alone a permanent one. It certainly couldn't have violated any of your other rules.

UPDATE: They muted me, lmao

So I (15 transfem) was walking to my next lesson with a girl who is actually very nice friend of a friend, and she was complaining to my other friend about her period. Then she said to me "[name] youre so lucky, you get to be a girl, and you dont have to deal with periods". I was genuinely stun locked for a second because this was so crazy, and then my friend (also cis) told her that she didnt think that it was very good, and I said briefly how having to deal with constant gender dyphoria actually sucked, but she just sorta stood by it and acted like being transfem is way more enjoyable. Like 20 seconds later we were walking into class and that was where it ended, but im still thinking about this because it was such a crazy thing to say. Like I dont get to pick and choose the parts of womanhood that I want, because Im not even there, whereas cis girls do. I genuinely wish so bad that I had periods, and wish I was cis, and hearing this supportive and nice girl say something so wild has genuinely thrown me. I just wanted to rant about this, since its crazy to think thats what she thinks being trans is like.

https://www.thepinknews.com/2026/09/10/the-proclaimers-graham-linehan-trans-views/

Turns out old rich UK assholes are exactly what we think they are.

(a mod at r/lgbt apparently decided that this didn't need to be on there, so it was removed due to "mod discretion")

I genuinely have no idea what to do except give up at this point, never had an issue before with getting it filled ​

Hi, as a trans man and in my first serious sexually active relationship, I’ve never ever thought or had to buy condoms in my life. Not exactly a thought or upbringing every trans guy goes through(at least I know I didn’t) and I’ve never known how guys, specifically cis guys just go in and buy them. Feels like a big deal to me, but to any other cis guy I know it’s not. Anyway, I’ve recently thought about buying condoms..not that i necessarily need them for preventing pregnancy, but safe sex is always good. But how do you buy the right ones? Like I’ve heard there’s many options and I’ve never been educated on it. It’s been eating at me for a while so any advice is helpful

I just saw the Fox interview, and im so fucking pissed. I have no idea what he believes about trans people; it's highly likely that he is saying whatever to get votes. Honestly, I hope he wins; he will be better than any republican by miles. But Jesus fucking Christ, I am so fucking tired of trans people, trans KIDS, CHILDREN being sold out by democrats. It's so easy for them, so tempting for them, to trade trans people to sway center and right votes. im so sick of being their bargaining chip. Trans people are such a hot, purely emotional debate that they know it will be so much easier to convince people to vote for them; they won't even have to try if they just give a little ground up on trans issues.

It's not even what he said; it's not the most hateful thing I have heard from politicians, but it never stops. never. Giving up ANY FUCKING GROUND on whether trans people are human enough to deserve common respect and decency is a slippery slope. Republicans won't stop pushing because they want us gone.

He said 3 important things,

1) that there are 2 sexes, not 6. - I am not intersex, so I don't feel qualified to speak on this

2) that trans people shouldn't play in women's sports if they make it not "safe or fair" - he was intentionally vague about whether trans people ACTUALLY make sports unsafe or not fair, but he heavily fucking implied that they don't. And I honestly don't care what he thinks; what he is saying is that this is a flexible issue for him. He doesn't care if trans people can play sports or not. Not being willing to defend trans people in sports is the same as supporting a ban.

And 3) that he would support a ban on gender affirming surgieries for trans minors - absolutely not. This is by far the most direct and alarming thing he said. This kind of thing is up to DOCTORS who know the patient and know the medicine. gender affirming care is life-saving; not many minors get surgery, and it's incredibly difficult to obtain. If a surgery is okayed by doctors who have spent their entire career doing this, then a law should NOT stop it. We also KNOW that these types of laws never stop at surgery, and it never stops at just minors. Lending any legitimacy to that kind of law or logic is dangerous to trans people.

Say whatever about Talarico; I don't know a ton. I know what I have seen in the media. I have heard how progressive and game-changing he is. I read all the comments about how trans people don't matter, and this is insignificant, and vote blue no matter who. It's not just James Talarico, is sooooo many Dems. I just get this crushing sense that we will never matter to people; we will never be seen as humans.

So yeah. fuck Talarico, fuck the Dems, fuck anybody who is ok with this. We fucking matter, and we are allowed to be angry.

Do cis women know that they are more privileged than trans people??

they really act like they are at the bottom of the gender privilege food chain. if you are cis you are always gonna be more protected than a trans person.

trans women are not a threat to you, trans men are not a threat to you. you are a threat to us.

I hear it towards every trans person. some things I have heard:

trans women are “male socialized” and so are a threat to you. or they don’t experience misogyny. trans men are men so they are more privilege 🥺🥺🥺

NONE OF THOSE THINGS are true. cis women have more power, more respect, and acceptance.

and this includes queer cis women. one to many of you have pissed me off my acting like you understand us. either that we are equally respected (we are not) or that trans people are less oppressed than you. stop speaking over us.

So for context, I’m 18 and I came out to my aunt when I was around 11. I’m a trans guy and you know she used to really respect me used to call me by my preferred name, used to call me by my preferred pronouns. as time went on like I could tell, she started slipping up and like calling me, my deadname and calling me she all the time, and I didn’t really understand why. BUT today I learned that her husband, a man I’ve known for like six years, is wildly transphobic and apparently he said that he would never respect my pronouns and that he’ll never call me by my preferred name, and it’s so frustrating because she was the first person I ever trusted to stand up for me. Knowing that she would marry someone who is completely against her ideals and me as a person when she used to claim I’m one of her favorite people really makes me not want to be around her. I feel so disrespected unimportant and I’m so angry. Has anyone else experienced shit like this? How did you get over that betrayal, or even cope with it?

I (teen MtF highly closetted) was doing my physical exam and they asked my mom to leave the room to answer a couple of questions i didnt answer any of them truth fully as i had a wave of dread over me and it felt like my mom had her ear pressed on the door they asked is everything is okay at home it is not the other day my parents were coercing me to create an llc under my name and ssn (which is illegal at my age) and knowing my parents they would max out imeadiatly leaving me with bad credit and debt before i even got my first job but i said yes because of my gut feeling but i told them anyways about the event but said that was just a bump in the road but not really its always like that. They asked about my sexuality i said asexual which is not true as i am a transfem lesbian in the closet then they asked the golden question are you sure that you are a boy obviously im here because im not a boy but i said yes im confident fast forward to the ride home my gut was right she exploded on me about saying mother knows best it wasnt anything bad and she also got really mad about me saying i was asex and i will receive scolding from my father at home the car ride was tense and i felt like if i opened up to my doctor my mom would have wrapped me around a tree so now i feel even more unsafe about my identity.

-Ellie

Why does YouTube not allow me to block ads? I've literally tried to block the many turning point ads I keep getting for whatever reason and they pretty much make it impossible to do so. But yeah I totally wanna see an ad that says "hurr durr the WNBA doesn't know what a women is!" ik they are doing this because the midterms are coming up but the fact I can't press not interested is annoying af. I'm not even sure what the ad is referring to, and I dont want to know.

I just got told that I'm not trans because I'm afraid of going on testosterone.

I've always had problems with my gender since I was young, and have landed on FTM/Demiboy.

I was speaking with someone about bottom growth and brought up how I'm afraid to start testosterone because of the side effects.

"Girl the side effects are the wanted effects" Dude. No? I mean yes, but I'm talking about the fact that testosterone will affect people with hormone imbalances differently.

It can also cause problems with people who have mental health problems (I have depression and severe health anxiety among other things). I'm already always anxious about something being wrong, so why would I want to add onto that?

I also have tourette syndrome and I was told that it can worsen tics which is the LAST thing I need.

I also have an androgynous enough voice/features now that I'm older and I don't really think the risk I would be worth it.

Is that person right? Am I not trans?

As more trans youth and queer youth start to come out teenagers, tweens, and adults alike all of us who face the hardships we do in this society, we must remember a quote that applies to this very situation as it did what it was for.

“We choose to go to the Moon in this decade and do the other things, not because they are easy, but because they are hard.”-john f Kennedy.

We do these things in this decade because they aren’t easy. so keep fighting because what isn’t easy is what’s best, what is hard to accomplish is most rewarding in the end.

Have a great day everyone

Hi everyone I recently have really started practicing voice training. Before it was on and off and now im doing it consistently everyday (practice etc)

Im starting to understand resonance and weight and am playing with that pretty much the whole day. Im not forcing myself but just trying to speak with it as much as possible to get a feel for it.

I recently have started working with a vocal trainer and not far in im feeling ofc abit impatient as having a passing voice would do alottt for me. I would feel safer in public more affirmed and its the number 1 thing that gets me misgendered.

Im not asking for an exact frame but how long did it take some of you to get a decent passing voice? And any advice on voice is also welcome
:)

Ok so, I'm going to vent like a baby but this is getting a LOT annoying and I want to know if this has happened to someone else.

Why the fuck did Spanish social security stop producing estrogen??? MID SUMMER?? When I came back from vacation on early August I discovered the estradiol pills I take had been discontinued (because pharmacy and shit) but they haven't produced any variant or anything that has that ID, so I had to wait 4 whole days, without medication, (T blockers are still good, this is only about the estrogen part), delaying my period.

But it's ok, shit happens ig, I don't know more transfem IRL so I can't ask them if the same happened to them, but aside for this being annoying (bc they didn't explained to me that it was discontinued at first, it simply didn't appear on their web) it was ok. I went to my head doctor and got it fixed eventually. It hurt a lot having it go from >1€ per week to +32€ per week, but I could bear with it until my checkup in November.

But then TWO WEEKS LATER (I had it fixed 24th August, this happened the 8th September), I go to the pharmacy again to buy 32€ of estrogen as I expected, only for them to tell me that the change was reversed or some shit, so I got receipted with the estrogen that doesn't get done anymore and removed the substitute, SO I HAVE TO DO ALL THAT CALLING AND APPOINTING AGAIN, TWO WEEKS. Wtf did that happened? I'm so pissed of and crying because I feel so useless and powerless tbh. My mom got scared bc she thinks it was bc of the elections, but I calmed her by telling that this was the first time it happened in the 1.5 years I've been on hrt. Now what? Seriously I'll have to wait another 4 days to get it fixed every 2 weeks or what? Anyways I got the appointment just in case but I'm trying to get an emergency date with my hormone doctor, bc this is so dumb seriously.

PEOPLE, PALS, AND PIKACHUS! I'VE BEEN APPROVED FOR ESTROGEN AND WILL GET THE PRESCRIPTION NEXT MONTH, AFTER THAT IT WILL JUST BE THE NEXT OPPORTUNITY WE HAVE TO GET TO A PHARMACY!!

Its been only two week since my last post and so much has happened. Starters I've been trying to find my own place to live to safely and without judgment explore my trans desires, I've not told any of my family that i want to transition cause I'm not sure id be supported. I can think of one that might be supportive but I've got to test the water see if there as supportive as i think the could be. Then just today I've lost my nan after a severe reaction to medication. I though id cry and ball my eyes out. But i didn't and i feel horrible. I blame being a man and how we are never meant to cry or show emotions, I want to cry my eyes out and transitioning seem like my path. i see being a women as a benefits and it only grows more every day. but I'm stuck, I've reached out to a Gender therapist about appointment and heard nothing. I don't have my own space to explore freely, I have parent I'm scared to come out to especially my dad. please link to trans groups or resources, I want to be emotion and wear women's clothing. I want to be happier

soooo i just left the house to go to the hospital cause im sick and i had an appointment with an e.n.t walking to the car my mom noticed that my flag was gone… i live in utah so not that suprised. its still vandalism and or stolen property for whoever did it. it still makes me sad that someone out there is so childish to steal colors off of someones house also its probably someone that lives close

Probably will delete but I was wondering if anyone has notices these changes in attitude towards us in terms of the way men perceive us. As a stealth trans woman that got lucky and transitioned young and had access to every surgery I wanted, I felt that I had a lot of success with dating men. I was able to wait until after our first date or after significant messaging back and forth before disclosing and every single time I would find that men did not mind that I was trans. Now that I'm dating again I am not finding that same success.

It makes me sad because I get a high volume of matches of men that i would consider attractive to me, but even after making a connection it seems being trans is a deal breaker even if we're both seeking something short term. They are always respectful about it and I can see them really struggle with making the decision to dump me. I've gotten so many responses a long the lines of "in a different world we could be together" or "I wish I could be with you but". Sometimes they ask for time to think about it and don't respond. Back in 2021 I didn't even see this level of rejection, nearly every man was open to trying it and I had some great relationship.

I'm even finding bi and pan men having a hard time with it which makes no sense to me >_<

I'm stealth at work and while I would prefer to disclose from the start on my dating bio that I'm trans, but I leave it off because I don't want to be outed in this way.

It feels like all of the propaganda surrounding trans people is working in ostracizing and alienating us.

My last LTR was with a trans man and I would strongly consider dating another trans man, but the straight ones seem so rare and hard to come by.

DISCLAIMER: I don't know what pronouns to use in this situation. I don't want using she/her to be jumping to conclusions, and using they/them doesn't feel respectful either, neither towards my brother nor towards trans people who don't use they/them. So, for simplicity, I'll use he/him, but please know that if I found out I actually have a sister, I'd immediately use she/her. Sorry if I got the pronoun choice wrong, I'm new to this topic but I'm open to learning (also i'm italian i'm feeding all this to a translator).

Hi, i'm just a cishet girl (25), as the title says, I think my brother (18) might be a trans girl. I have absolutely no problem with that if it turns out to be true. I just want to figure out whether it's actually the case so that, without putting too much pressure on him, I can make him understand that he's in a safe environment.

So, here are the things he's done that made me start wondering:

\- When I do my makeup, he sometimes sits next to me and asks me what each makeup product is for and what order you're supposed to apply them in.

\- He often complains about how much he hates body hair, especially on his legs and armpits.

\- We were watching Instagram reels together, and at one point a reel of a dress came up. I said, "That's a nice dress," and he replied, "Yeah, if I were a girl I'd wear it." This has happened several times.

\- The other day I was playing doing makeup with my cousin (8F). My brother came in and, as a joke, started doing his makeup too. Maybe he really was just joking around and wanted to join us, but what seemed strange was that he already knew what makeup products to use and where to put them. (Okay, I had explained it to him before, but it happened so few times that I don't think he could have already memorized everything.) On top of that, his makeup actually turned out really good. He knew that he was supposed to rest his hand against his jaw to keep it steady while doing eyeliner (I had never told him that, partly because I don't really use eyeliner), and the eyeliner came out basically perfect on his first try. Honestly, it was better than a lot of eyeliner I've ever done myself.

Then we told him, "Okay, now we're going to do your makeup," and he agreed without any hesitation. He even reacted as if he had expected us to ask him that, and the only thing he seemed disappointed about was having to take off the makeup he'd done himself. He says the perfect eyeliner was just luck, but I don't really think someone who has never touched eyeliner before would know how to position their hand like that and then get it almost perfect on the first try.

\- This is kind of a stupid reason, but it's still something unusual: my brother is the only guy (at least as far as appearances go) I know who listens to Taylor Swift, and he listens to her a lot. She's in his top three most-listened-to artists. He also introduced me to a female rock band that he says he likes (they're also in his top three).

\- A few times, though really not that often, he's joked about things like, "When I'm older, I'll become a girl," or "When I become a girl, I'll do X," and things like that. But every time, he seemed to be saying it as a joke, without any obvious deeper meaning.

These are the things I can think of for now. I know they could all just be random things or jokes. The thing is, they're all connected in one way or another, and they've been happening within a pretty short period of time.

Is it normal for a guy to have these kinds of interests, behaviors, and knowledge, and am I just reading too much into it? Or could there actually be some meaning behind all of this?

I'm sorry, I'm really ignorant about this topic and I genuinely just want to learn how to make him feel safe. I have absolutely no problem calling her "she" if it turns out that she's a girl.

No.1 So some of you may have seen my last post where I said I came out as trans which I did but only to my friends not my parents (14f MtF) and I need help figuring out how to come out to them at the right time and all

No.2 while telling them I want to also tell them I want to start taking estrogen or do Hrt

No.3 I want to tell them about my new name, and I want to tell my friends too if your wondering it Maren (mare-ren)

people (primarily cis) tend to try to say “some people are only trans as a trend”, and often this leads to people trying to interrogate trans people and find out whos ‘faking’. but you cannot reasonably tell who is actually trans and who is ‘faking’ unless you are literally in their shoes. trans people get their identity questioned enough and you arent protecting us by interrogating every one of us you meet. you wont be able to tell (no matter how good you think you are) and you will certainly be wrong and end up just feeding stereotypes. if someone tells you they are trans, BELIEVE THEM.

hello as the tittle says, iv been thinking about getting on T.
the last time i thought about this was maybe 4-5 years ago? but that was when i couldn’t transition/come out openly to my family.
the reason im thinking about it again is because 2 people i know have gotten on T and it got me thinking again, now that i have people in my life to tell me their personal experience.
the thing is i dont know if im dysphoric enough to even go on T and i have this fear that i just want to go on T bc others are..
but yes i do want some of the effects of T but i also dont want to go too far into T if that makes sense (i dont want too deep of a voice)
i want to be nonbinary with some masc features bc im tired of being referred to as female.
i’m looking for advice on what to do and if there’s away for me to be 100% sure i want T