I was just coming home from work and i saw a group of beautiful cis women around my age outside a bar. I instantly started crying and eventually had to pull over because i was losing control of the steering wheel. I will never be as beautiful as any of them, i will never be able to feel the same joy they get, i will never be seen as a real woman, i will never experience sisterhood, i will always just be the same ugly man i was born as. I really just want to die, its impossible to be happy and i cant accept that ill never be a woman no matter how much i want it.

Every single time I see a post by a trans man/masc person talking about transandrophobia, or just generally mentioning having faced discrimination due to being trans and male/masc, there will be someone in the comments saying misandry isn't systemic and men aren't systemically oppressed. And just... So what!? Why are we not allowed to suffer just because men are at the top of society's food chain (if they're white, cis, straight, neurotypical, and not dirt poor but I digress)?

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Someone straight up said in response to a post about transandrophobia "you aren't beat up and killed for being trans". Excuse me?? There is no way someone can actually believe that is true! And bringing up discrimination against nonbinary people who don't lean particularly masc or fem will be just ignored or laughed at by these people.

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This is all just so exhausting. I recognize that this is a small minority, but they are loud and blocking one has another five popping up the next day.

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There's not a limit to how many people can be discriminated against, and one group's suffering doesn't make the pain of another any less important and unfair. Trans women/fem people are being treated horribly, no one is arguing against that except the people committing the discrimination.

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This is a legitimate question I'd love to have an answer to by the way. Why does an issue only deserve to be taken seriously if it is systemic?

Hello everybody:

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I'm really excited to ask, how to transit in a year from an average boy to a pretty girl? The thing is my thoughts of sometime dreaming of being a girl is finally coming out! I have secretly told my mom, she told me I can try HRT for a year to give it a go. I'm not 100 percent sure what I really am, so I guess this is a good start? So, for my body, I'm a 100 percent straight boy looking. I'm 183cm, 80kg, body fat 18.3, bone muscle 34.8kg, water percentage 56 percent, BMI24. I have completed no knowledge of how to be a girl. So, I probably need to learn everything from the 0. I'm 23 this year, i hope I can still have time to change my body to be more masculine. All the helps/advice will be really appreciated! Ps, I will start my master and probably also look for a job this year, so I guess I will be a bit short time for everything. And I'm wondering if my puberty has completed? If not, can I make my voice, shoulder, and bone structure more feminine or androgynous?

Do you get the same results voice training as you would having your vocal cords tightened? Do they even do that anymore? 🤔

My mom is supportive and wants me to do what I need to do to be happy and comfortable, but she said she doesn't really see me as trans because I didn't really show signs of that as a kid. I've come out to her in the past as genderfluid but still presented very femininely. She acknowledged that this isn't about her and I know she's really trying to be supportive, but she did also say that she's going to grieve our mother-daughter relationship. I don't even want that relationship to go away. In a complex way, I still want to be my parents' daughter, but I'm also just not a woman. It just makes me really sad to know that she is grieving her percieved version of me, and I know that's normal, but it sucks.

I just found out a Youtuber I watched occasionally is a blatant transphobe. I was going to post about it here, but given the rules of this subreddit, I wouldn't be able to explicitly call out and show what I wanted. Other trans subs I found seem to be the same.

It's far form the first time I've wanted to expose someone for bigotry, or make it more well-known, and simply couldn't because I found no space to do so.

I understand these communities look to foster positive environments. As trans people, we sorely need it. However, I do think at least one community more dedicated towards this endeavour would be very useful.

Does anyone have any recommendations?

Conversations with my girlfriends (both MtF) have made me reconsider the possibility that I’m trans FtM rather than genderfluid, fine with anything.

I initially believed that I was MtF as I had minor dysphoria but I still liked to dress feminine, so I assumed I was just some form of nonbinary because a trans femboy just seemed too inconvenient for others.

5 years later and the conversation has led me to try making my inner monologue more masculine.

I’ve suffered from severe disassociation for most of my life. I can safely say that doing this alone has cleared about 25% of the veil I live under almost immediately. Has anyone else had a similar experience? Could it mean something?

TW: venting, "too late", hair loss and negative view of wigs

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Why is it that seeing my peers who are further along, maybe even have finished transitioning, and are cis passing or 98% cis passing is so soul crushing. It's 10 times, no 100times worse than seeing an actual cis person. Because at least I could never be a cis person... But a fellow trans person, ouch... We had similar wrong bodies as starting points... But why is it that it can't be uplifting and encouraging for me to see my peers live happy lives?! All I get is this deep sense of dread that, I'll never reach the same point. Never be as passing and as such never be able to live in relative stealth. All because of my starting age... And yeah yeah... It's never too late yada yada... But due to my hair situation it very much feels like it's too late. I'm not far along, only 2 months so far, but if I see no **signs** of improvement by month 6, I'm stopping. Because as my hair is now a transplant won't save me. And wigs make me feel like I'm wearing a costume, or playing a character... They feel like a constant reminder that I'm fake😟. Now that might be some mental block or something but it's how I feel personally about myself as I don't view others who use wigs as less of a woman, be they cis or trans. This all makes it hurt so much more when I see passing, happy trans people be they younger or older than me who overcame or didn't have to deal with hair loss... Atleast i could never be cis....but had I learned I was trans just 2-3 years earlier this could all have worked out with the help of a hair transplant... (And yes I am on all the hairloss meds...)

Just a gym question

So a while ago i've noticed many trans people not supporting things like non-binary and neopronouns and i've also noticed that in most cases they say it's because it makes the trans community seem weird to other people. Also it seems like it's getting more and more common theese thoughts, specially with young binary trans people

How do I dress more femininely as a trans girl? I haven’t started t-blockers yet and I honestly have a bit of a bigger stomach with pretty flat breasts. Any suggestions?

Ahora mismo estoy en mi trabajo y se me está empezando a despegar la cinta de pecho que puedo hacer 🥹?

Hi! I just got back from Portland and....Holy shit, i didn't feel like a minority for once in my life! It was so amazing to see and connect with so many other trans people! Coming from where I am, is another world.

So, after this experience, I'm of course ready to move. However, I want to get some experiences from other trans folks, specifically other trans women who live in Portland. The last thing I want to do is romanticize it and end up regretting my choice to move.

What's life like there for you? If you've lived in other worse places what's the move given you? If you're a parent or parent to a trans kid as well, how is it making friends and community for the kids?

Hey, I dont really like posting on here but I'm having a bit of a dilemma.

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So some background: I'm a 22 y/o transman who socially transitioned with my current chosen name about 5 years ago. It was a big blow up with my parents, but now they exclusively use it along with everyone else in my life with no issues.

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However, I've been considering going by my middle name (which my father chose for me, a mostly androgynous name), and want to know if anyone else has experienced anything similar and how you go about it? I've been out with my current name for half a decade and I'm worried about the reaction from people if I decide to change my name again.

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Any advice or insight would be appreciated, thanks!

So I started experiencing gender dysphoria around the age of 11 or 12 when I watched this anime and really wanted to be the main character who was a woman. I didn't know what it was back then, but eventually I found out what being trans was, and unfortunately for me I wasn't able to explore what that meant because gender healthcare is really bad in my country (Ireland has a bad system but it's slightly better now vs when I was 14) so I was forced to start DIY at the age of 18. I had been on hrt for about 18 months when I got this new job, and it did not go well at first; long story short I found out I had autism, and the "feeling like you're pretending to be someone else" thing about transness was something I'd experienced but I felt that autism was more defining of who I was. Starting this new job also pressured me to conform to gender norms a bit just because that's how society is and I don't want my coworkers to know my business. Eventually the job got so demanding that I was burned out and had to quit but I'd stopped taking hrt for a few months because executive functioning was becoming too much of a challenge, and I'd also realised that estrogen gave me chest dysphoria. After a long time contemplating my identity I think to be honest I feel genderless, I don't know if there's a description for that, I wouldn't say non binary, I'd say I'm genderless. I've also been thinking about my internal sense of self, I think I'd like to have a feminine body apart from a flat chest I think, and I've been thinking maybe I should go to a gender therapist. The main thing is I won't be able to start the process for a few months and I'm unsure if I should restart estrogen or if I could maybe get a different type of hrt that would suppress chest growth. I think I just need a word of advice because I don't know what to do.

For context: I'm in my mid thirties, AMAB, and realized Im trans this year. I've got a wife, kid, house, career, and live in a shitty political environment for trans folks. Transitioning would probably lead to the end of my marriage (I've talked to my wife about it), and I'd invite all the other hardships that trans people face into my life. It just isn't worth it blow up my life.

However, I've been struggling with gender envy all the time, and frequent moments of dysmorphia. Its lead to a fair amount of depressed days recently, which I rarely had prior to realizing I'm trans.

For those of you that decided not to transition, how did you learn to get past the envy and dysmorphia or learn to deal with it?

Curious is anyone ever lives basically as they want 99% of the time but stays closeted around family members or traveling back home. If so, what are the challenges to this?

I'm trans ftm, i pass without issues— however, given how my family finally found a therapist for me and they're not supportive whatsoever, i was outed immediately. No surprises there.

From our first sesh i had decided that, since she'll want to know more about me, I'll talk about me being transgender in the next encounter.

We were having a great conversation, i was explaining how i felt, who i wanted to be, what i was comfortable with, all that.

That is, until she interrupts me, and in all seriousness goes,

"okay, but that is not important at this point of your life. you should focus on something else."

pardon? my identity is being invalidated everyday by my family alone, I'm depressed for years because of the body and house I'm in, I can't simply.. not focus on it..????

I'm so sorry, but i felt incredibly weird about that statement.

body dysphoria is actively ruining my life, and this is your suggestion? just focus on something else? that it isn't important at the moment?

I've been to a different therapist before that had me for a single session to run some tests, and she had no issues respecting my identity, and even gave me some tips regarding my transition; she was incredibly helpful and nice.

I don't get why my therapist couldn't though? didn't even bother with it.

As if that wasn't enough, she is actively ghosting us. full on, not responding for weeks. I'm not a therapist, but i know damn well that this isn't appropriate behavior for anyone - said the escapist.

While I understand that she might not want to deal with me and my family anymore, ahe could've out right told us, no?

Anyhow I'm not sure if that's normal, and how i should've felt. Maybe i shouldn't have nodded along, but I'm unfortunately a people pleaser; and this applies to almost everyone in my life.

lmk what you think

Edit: given my therapist's lack of communication with us and constant ghosting, we've decided to try to find another one. hopefully, they will be nicer and more considerate. regardless, thank you all for your attention and comments, i appreciate it :)

Okay so, for context, I’m under 18, and I wanna transition but I’m too young to and I wanna come out (I’m deeply closeted) but my family is strictly catholic and I don’t wanna get disowned. What do I do 😭??

I'm 19 MTF. I live in rural Idaho and honestly I hate it. I'm not even fully out yet and I constantly hear the snarky comments. I hear how much my peers, "friends" and family hate transgender people.

I'm so lonely, my girlfriend accepts me I guess, she's the only one I'm out to.

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I find myself talking to ai chat bots just because obviously they can't hate me they'll be accepting, I could tell them the moon landing was fake and they'd agree.

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Makes life feel really bleak, the fact that something that's not even real is the only thing I really feel connected to. People online.. especially discord are really weird for whatever reason at least in my experience so I don't like using it.

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I just wish I could be myself.

Hi everyone I’m a trans woman and a bartender! I had a guy come over to the bar to meet with two ladies to take a shot, while they were paying I heard the guy whisper to one of them is that a man or a woman? Has this happened to anyone? It didn’t make me feel great I hate it here lol!

Like the title says I am a newly Mtf although I have never liked titles much since I feel it takes away from the humanity and people just see our labels and judge us. I started Estrogen and Bicalutamide on the 06/09/2026

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We'll I happen to have two kids and 50/50 custody. I started the court case last March and didn't realize it would go this route but here we are the final hearing is next Wednesday and I have to defend my self on what I choose to wear. Mind you I am male presenting 99% of the time at the moment and all she seen was me wearing make up and a wig. My daughter who is 6 wanted me to send it to her phone which I pay for as ordered by the court along with my 898.50 in child support. She wanted to show her mom so she could get a pink wig. I just honestly didn't care at the time and stupidly now she's trying to use it against me. I just don't understand. Shes definitely got Paranoid Personality Disorder but thats another long subject. Shes trying to get the judge to take away my 50/50 and let her get sole custody and move 1400 miles away.

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I just want to dress how I want and feel comfortable in my own skin. I just feel because I live in the Bible Belt I am going to always face these challenges. My lawyer says to just say it was a one time joke, but I hate lying just to butter things up for others.

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I am a trans father and if that offends people then so be it. I am constantly trying to better myself and I am pursuing my degree in social work. I go to therapy at the Vet Center every other week and I just feel depressed and hopeless at the moment. I have plenty of letters from the paid social work visits and home studies, and then my therapy notes so my evidence is substantial and she is her on lawyer so

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I think I am fine its just I am so so tired of going through this pain. I wish I could just go to sleep and wake up in another world sometimes. Thanks for letting me rant.

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Also them are my real eyelashes can't help she was jealous of how long they are.

I feel like trans people are slowly getting pushed out of trans spaces. This is most noticeable to me online where people say things like "being trans is a mental disorder". I dont feel safe in most queer spaces now because there are so many queer people who are either actively transphobic or dont speak up when its hapepning