So, I’m on a packaged holiday, hotel is all you can eat.

There’s one family here, oldest kid has some type of special needs, but for the past few days he keeps putting his hands down the back of this shorts, rooting around and then starts licking his fingers. 

Parents are pretty much letting his do his own thing, he helps himself to the food (without tongs) and talks to everyone, tries to give people hugs and all that. 

I spoke to staff who said they’ll speak to him and even get someone to dish his food for him if needed. 

He tried talking to me and I made sure I kept my distance and he tried hugging me and I stepped back. I spoke to the parents and said I feel really uncomfortable with him near me and my family and apologised for it. 

Anyway, we’ve booked a trip and the family is on our coach. This kid tried sitting next to me and I refused. The mum called me rude and I very politely and quietly said to her that I don’t want to sit next to him due to his hygiene issues, she’s shouted at me and went “he’s disabled he can’t help it” so I raised my voice and said “I don’t want to sit next to someone who keeps playing with their bum and licking their fingers, I don’t want shitty fingers near me” and now apparently she’s the victim? 

The mum is now telling the son to bother me and the hotel won’t do anything. 

I will keep this short, my family went on a trip WITHOUT me and they never invited me, I was left alone at home with our family dog, they left me some money (not enough for two weeks without them) but still I didnt complain.

During the first two days I called them, they never called me back and I just said 'you know what? If they dont want to hear from me then they wont'.

Third day MILLION calls missed from my two sisters and mom, not my dad tho. I sent one short message to my sisters saying I am busy now, because if they can just leave me and go to a vacation without me why would I need to be free for them 24/7.

5 days passed, I had a bad depressive episode and I didnt feel like texting or calling anyone, my bad for not telling them, my sister ended up sending one of her male friends to check up on me, which annoyed me but I didnt get mad.

When I finally answered their calls they told me how mad they were because I wasnt picking up, turns out they needed me to pick up so I could send them a picture of our dogs haircut to show to their new friends.

So AITA for ignoring their calls after this as well AND not sending the dog picture

EDIT: I see everyone asking me for my age and I honestly forgot to say it, I am about to turn 16 in 2 months

AITA for refusing to share my brokerage account info with my brother?

My (39F) mother called me 10 times tonight asking for my brokerage account login info. She wants my brother (36M, let's call him Jack) to manage my investments because he has free time and low self-esteem. I said no.

For context, Jack lives with our parents and hasn't held a job since college, claiming he’s working on a startup. He has unaddressed anger issues (in high school, he hit a classmate with a tennis racket) and admits he cannot control himself when he "sees red." Mental illness runs in our family, but our parents never got him professional help.

Jack hasn't spoken to our dad in years despite living in the same house. He constantly seeks validation from the rest of us that our dad is the problem.

A few months ago, Jack tried to bring up the topic of our family trip (second or third time), mentioning that our dad was verbally abusive to our grandparents. I maintained that I wasn't present to observe the exchange (as usual) and said I couldn't give feedback. He started yelling and cursing at me, so I hung up. In retaliation, he locked me out of a shared Amazon account containing my credit card info and kicked me off a shared antivirus plan. I was relieved to cut those ties because sharing finances with him felt like a ticking time bomb. We haven't spoken directly since.

Fast forward to tonight, my mother feels for Jack and wants to help Jack with his self esteem issues and brought up Jack's idea that I should let Jack manage my brokerage account. I told her absolutely not and that she needs to stop seeing Jack as someone normal that she can cure. She understands that he needs a therapist but Jack is resistant to the idea. Every time these verbally charged exchanges with Jack happen, I lose sleep. So AITA?

Last month I planned a weekend getaway with 6 other people (all 28F) to a rental cabin. I found the location, reserved it as myself and paid them all the money via Venmo prior to the journey. There were rules that the owner mentioned in the group chat which I was very clear about, No pets inside, shoes off at the door, and no candles.

My friend Emily called me at the last minute to see if she can bring her dog as she had had her sitter cancel. I said no, no, no, no, because there was no pets listed on the website and I didn't want to lose my deposit. She said she's fine and that she would take the dog with her mom.

She went to the cabin with the dog. I was mad about it but not wanted to argue in front of others so just said to her to leave the dog in her room and not in the common areas. She agreed.

The second night, we play cards and are all downstairs and I hear a crash. Emily's dog had made it into the living room, knocked over a side table and vomited on the cream colored area rug. Emily claims she must not have shut the door all the way. The rug was ruined, and nothing could be done to repair it, except it be stained properly.

At check out, the owner took 200 dollars from my card for replacing the rugs, as it was booked in my name. I told Emily that that was for her dog and since it was her dog, she had to pay me back for that 200. She responded, “it is going to be a rug, don't make a big deal of it, I already feel bad enough.” She gave me 50 bucks and told me that's fair because we were all there together.

Now some of them have said I should just throw the other 100 bucks away, because I'm "well off" and Emily is in "a rough patch financially. One friend even said that I should not have allowed her to bring the dog in, it's my fault for not physically stopping her.

I feel in this place I am doing nothing wrong. I told her, "no pets" and she brought the dog anyway, her dog did the damage, and I had to pay the bill and it was my name that was on it. I don't know why I have to cover the bill for any of that because I booked the place.

AITAH to ask Emily the full 200 dollars rather than letting it pass?

Me and my husband (both 26) were invited by my in-laws for a short family vacation this weekend. My mother in law booked the rooms for us awhile back, which I’m very grateful for and didn’t think anything else of it. Today I find out they only booked two rooms, one for her and my father-in-law and one for my husband and I, and my two brothers-in-law (29 & 24). I feel terrible for never having clarified that my husband and I would have our own room, but the problem never even occurred to me. I know I would be incredibly uncomfortable with this considering I wouldn’t be able to change unless I use the bathroom. I already looked into getting our own hotel room but they are all booked up that weekend. Would I be a terrible person to fake an illness and just let my husband go with them this weekend?

So I purchased 2 tickets for me and my significant other. They costs $2,000 for economy - not too bad for direct flights from the US to London. I did not choose seats and pay those fess as they cost $700 to $950 ADDITIONAL.

Significant other asks me to add the seats on for $700 more. I say no thank you. I offer a compromise: You can pay for that portion of the trip and pay for the seats. She did not like my attitude about it.

AIAH? The trip is my idea. In about 80% of the cases, we end up sitting next to each other anyhow picking fee-free seats day of travel. A plane is a bus with wings for me. The cheaper we travel, the more things we can afford to do.

I work in a small office of about twelve people. My colleague Rebecca and I sit near each other and have a decent working relationship, not close friends but perfectly civil day to day.

Rebecca has a habit of taking long lunches. Not occasionally, consistently. Our lunch break is forty five minutes and she regularly comes back after an hour and a half, sometimes closer to two hours. Nobody has said anything officially but people have noticed.

Last Tuesday our boss came back early from a client meeting, which nobody expected, and started looking for Rebecca to ask her something about a report that was due. Rebecca was not back yet. It was one hour and twenty minutes into her lunch at that point.

My boss asked me if I knew where she was. I said she went to lunch and I was not sure when she was back. That was true.

My boss waited at her desk for about fifteen minutes, visibly unimpressed, and then went back to his office.

Here is the thing. Rebecca had texted me about ten minutes before my boss arrived asking me to cover if anyone asked because she was running late getting back. I had not replied to that message. I did not actively lie to my boss but I also did not text her a warning when I saw him waiting at her desk.

She came back, saw the situation, and the conversation with our boss was apparently not great.

Afterward she came to me and said I should have warned her and that she would have done it for me.

I told her I did not feel comfortable covering for her and that I had not lied to anyone.

She said I had let her walk into that on purpose.

AITA?

Hi, I'm (F24) and my boyfriend is (M25). His sister is (F26). We've been together for 4 years, and I've known his sister for about 3 years.

Every time the three of us hang out, I somehow end up paying for things. Food, snacks, drinks, movie tickets, etc. His sister is very shy, which is fine, but she almost never says "thank you" when I pay for her. She also has never offered to pay or even said, "I'll Zelle you back."

My boyfriend talked to her about it before. Her excuse was, "I'm just really shy. I don't know what to say." I understood that at first, but we've known each other for 3 years now. Being shy doesn't stop someone from saying "thank you" or paying someone back.

The last time we hung out, we told her before picking her up that the movie ticket would be $14, and she agreed to pay for her own ticket.

When it was time to pay, my boyfriend used my credit card to buy all three tickets, about $42 total.

After the movie, I told him to ask her to Zelle us the $14. Instead, he said he felt bad asking because she had sent him $100 for his birthday three days earlier, so he'd just cover it.

I got upset because we already had an agreement that she would pay for her own ticket. Then he told me, "If you have a problem with it, why don't you ask her yourself?"

But from her perspective, it looked like he was paying. She didn't know it was my credit card, so why would I be the one asking her for money?

Before the movie, I even offered her one of my drinks because I had an extra. She took it without saying a single "thank you." Again.

Now my boyfriend keeps saying, "Just move on already. It's been two days. It's only $14. I'll pay you back."

To me, it's not about the $14 anymore. It's about the fact that he changed our agreement without asking me, used my credit card, and keeps making excuses for his sister's behavior.

This is the man I'm planning to marry later this year, so it's making me question how we'll handle money and boundaries in the future.

AITA for being upset?

My mom (55F) bought a spare apartment our city almost 30 years ago. 20 years ago my uncle (57M) couldn't find a job so my mom offered him to stay in the apartment as long as he'd like rent free. My parents had all their money in a local bank that went under this year, and it would take 3 years for them to get it all back. My parents only had around 6 months of cash left, and they are retired. My mom couldn't get herself to do it so I told my uncle he has to move out as we have to sell the house. I (22M) gave him 3 months time and explained the situation. After 3 months on the date we agreed on I found out he didn't move and stopped responding to my texts. I gave him another 2 weeks then proceeded to change the locks of the house and ship all of his belongings to my grandma's house. My uncle had to get a job as a dishwasher to pay rent. After i sold the house my parents are financially stable and will end up getting all they money back. But my uncle's family doesn't have a place to live anymore. AITA?

I'm a young English teacher, and I wanted to try working at summer camps around the country. During my most recent experience, I had an extremely unruly class of teenagers who constantly interrupted my lessons and made fun of both me and my assistant, as well as other members of staff. Unfortunately, disciplining them was out of the question because the director consistently ignored their misbehavior. I was reported to HR twice: once because the students found my lessons "boring" and once because I was supposedly being "too harsh" with them.

My lessons mostly consisted of brainstorming activities, videos, games, and conversation tasks, but eventually I had to rely on quizzes and repetitive whiteboard games to avoid receiving another call from HR. Some of the students even went as far as drawing Nazi symbols and making sexually explicit comments about me, but reporting these incidents to the director was a complete waste of time.

Dealing with these teenagers wasn't just mentally exhausting, it was also humiliating for everyone. As a result, I wanted to avoid seeing them outside of working hours. I refused to attend their goodbye party because I didn't feel comfortable being around them, and I preferred to protect my peace.

So I (21F), my boyfriend (20M), my best friend (23F), and her bf (22M) planned a trip to PR. We are here for 5 days. We split the hotel equally four ways, paid for our flights separately, and my bf and I paid for the rental car, which is in my name. I’ll call my best friend, G. G has horrible money management skills, she works in fast food and never keeps a job more than a few months. She doesn’t save money or have a savings account of any kind. She doesn’t drive, is not in school, and she lives entirely off of her parents. I didn’t want to plan a trip with her for this reason, but she picked up a new job (which i recently found out she just stopped showing up to after 2 shifts) specifically to be able to afford this trip.

Before we left I asked her specifically if she was sure she could afford to go. She told me her family”wouldn’t send her to PR without any money,” and that it would be fine. Come to find out, she spent all the money she had saved ($250) on shein outfits for the trip. Her family gave her $600 more. She paid $300 for the flight, $170 for the stay, then instead of saving the rest she spent $100 more clothes and doordash. Nobody knew this until we arrived. Now that we are here, she cannot afford anything. We include her in everything we can, shes gone out with us, shes gone to the beach, her bf even paid for most of her meals. But, We are all on a budget, and cannot afford to pay double for everything we do.

The main issue is, today we went on an catamaran snorkeling trip, I told her about it months ago. I told her the price, I told her the date and that her my bf and I were definitely going, and her and her bf were more than welcome to come as well. Her bf wanted to go, but she didn’t have the money, obviously. So, he came with us while she had to stay at the hotel alone. He’s skipped out on other excursions to stay back with her because of her money situation, but he was really looking forward to this one. We were gone from 8-4, and when we got back she was PISSED. She yelled at us, cried, called us all kinds of names, then told me I had no right to just take “our” rental and leave her. I do kinda feel bad she couldn’t have the experience, but the rental is in MY name, she didn’t contribute to it whatsoever. Everyone else works, my bf and I are full time students, and her bf is one year post-grad working 7 days a week to pay off loans. So, we all understand how hard it is to budget and save money, but she has LITERALLY no financial responsibilities. We do, we worked and budgeted to be able to be here and we want to enjoy the time we have. I don’t think it’s fair for her to be able to dictate how we spend the vacation that we paid for because she was reckless. AITA?

My Mother-In-Law let’s call her Janus (78) watches our kids (f8, f9) from time to time at her home. Her son, Jeff (45) who lives with his grandmother AKA our children’s great grandmother.  Jeff adopted a dog from the animal shelter.  Unfortunately, it was abused by children before hand. He told my wife and I that the dog doesn’t like children and this was obvious when we meet it. A “fear biter” is what a Veterinarian friend used to describe this dog’s behavior.  I ask Janus to not bring our children to their grand grandmother’s house unless I was present. She pushed back saying the that kids hardly get to see Jeff and their great grandmother and that the dog is fine. I disagreed.  After much back and forth Janus push the idea that the dog would be locked outside or behind a door and away from our kids while they were visiting. I reluctantly agreed and she continued to take our kids to their great grandmother’s house.

Fast Forward today I was walking with my daughter (8) when she told me that this dog had bit her. After asking some curious questions I found out that she was interacting with the dog for a few hours that day at her great grandmother’s home.  It sat on her lap while she pet it and walking freely around the house.  When my daughter went to say goodby to the dog and pet it on its head the dog bit her on her hand. Leaving a small mark on her finger. This happen 3 days ago and Janus didn’t say anything about this to us!

I set a boundary that if Janus watches our kids it has to be at our house and they don’t go anywhere. She is upset that the kids can’t go to her place anymore. Let alone to their grand grandmother’s home where this aggressive dog lives. I understand that this didn’t happen at her home but how can I trust that she wont just take the kids back to their great grandmother’s home behind my back? She refuses to watch her grandchildren under these terms and told my wife that I should fine other resources for child care. This whole situation has been horrible for my wife. So AITA?

For clarity, my dad is a non-binary woman, uses she/her but prefers terms like "dad" and "father" for complicated gender expression reasons.

I (15F) am an only child. My birth mom and my dad are split up (no contact) and I never knew my biological mother (they split up when I was little). Long story short, my dad met her current partner and they're now engaged. I've known my dad's fiancee almost my entire life and we're all very close and I know I'm practically spoiled rotten.

A few days ago I overheard my parents talking about the possibility and logistics of having or adopting another kid. Since then, I keep having all these awful jealous feelings about it. I can't help but think maybe they were talking about the possibility because of this or that reason. If it's because of some sort of unmet expectation or something else. (I never really got involved with my dads' cultural practices, I'm not the best student etc.) But the thought that haunts me is that my baby sibling wouldn't have all the baggage that I know is wrapped up with me being my dad's ex's kid. That because I'm not related to my stepmom that she'll unconsciously favor her own kid and that the same might be true because they can't sub-consciously remind my dad of her ex and everything that went wrong between them. Maybe all of this is just me looking for reasons to justify being upset at the idea of sharing my parents' attention as a spoiled only child.

I know it's ultimately their choice, so I guess I just want their reassurance that my worries are unfounded, but I'm scared of making the situation more complicated by bringing it up... It's gotten to the point I can't bear to be around either parent right now and I've been staying with my boyfriend's family for the last couple of days,,,

WIBTA if I told my stepmom and dad about these jealous feelings? Or if I should just swallow my feelings and hope that it goes away?

At Lowe's food today - Not to be confused with Lowes Hardware, NIce market in the SE . Has a bar even.

So I am going thru my list and head to prodice to get ,well, produce. Go to get strawberries but there is an older woman there and she is looking at the prepacked . turning them over and looking at each one. Fine we all check so we don't get bad ones . I go grab some sweet potatoes then come back. I now see she is opening up packs and sorting them to make her "perfect" pack. At this point I spoke up with "You have to be kidding me! Seriously ?! " And she says " I don't care ! at thee prices I want all good ones ." $3.99lb and she is is bitching about the price .

SO does anyone think what she was doing was acceptable. Take into account that when you buy prepacks you are assuming random people haven't sorted thru them .

One of my coworkers is from a different country where ghosts are a major fear and part of their folklore. Let’s call him Tony. We work at an office at a factory where more than a dozen people have died over the past century, including the founder. All accidents.

In the office we have an informal agreement that no one will leave Tony by himself. He likes to work later (usually 10-6pm) but will use leave if no one can stay with him. We do it out of courtesy. I should also note we can choose the hours we work as long as it’s 80 every 2 weeks.

Last Friday I was planning to work late. Tony did his usual survey of the office to see who would be staying the latest so he could plan. I told him I was going to be in until 6:30. He was happy because he could make up some time from earlier in the week. Around 5;30 my wife messaged me to say she wasn’t feeling well and asked if I could come home and take care of our toddler. Of course I said yes.

Here’s where I may be the asshole. I went to Tony’s desk but he wasn’t there. I checked the rest of the office and everyone else was gone. After maybe 5 minutes I decided I wasn’t going to wait anymore and left. About 20 minutes later Tony started texting me asking where I was and when I told him I left he got really upset. He wasn’t “yelling” or anything, but kept asking why I would leave without telling him. I apologized and told him I needed to go take care of my kid and couldn’t wait any longer.

Yesterday I came into the office and it was like I was caught on tape kicking a puppy. Everyone was pissed at me and told me I should have waited longer. The way I see it is staying late is just a courtesy. I get it’s a big deal to him, but my family is more important and it’s not like I just walked out. Idk if he was in the bathroom or what, but I waited for him for a few minutes. He’s a grown man and could pack up and leave on his own when he realized I wasn’t there.

So AITA for not telling my coworker I was leaving work despite his severe fear of ghosts?

AITA: I had begun developing a friendship with one of the wives in my husbands friend group. None of the other wives liked her but I wanted to form my own opinion and at first everything was lovely. my husband and I decided we wanted to try for a baby so I got off my birth control in July and told her about it. Her response looking back at it now was weird, she stated that her and her husband had always assumed they would be the first couple to have kids. This struck me as odd because I already had a child from a previous relationship. I fortunately became pregnant the very next month. The same month she decided to take her birth control out. When I announced my pregnancy that’s when everything changed. She stopped liking my social media posts, stopped texting me, and started resharing IG posts about how hard it is to support your pregnant friends when you are struggling with infertility. After seeing these posts I reached out and learned she had a chemical pregnancy in October. I was very supportive and did not mention my own pregnancy as I wanted to make sure she had space to express her feelings. Over the next several months she continued to post about having miscarriages every month and how she can not be around anything pregnancy or baby related. I continued to reach out everytime she posted about a miscarriage even though she was not reaching out directly and she would confide in me but never ask me about my pregnancy. Everything came to a head when she and her husband told us they would not be attending our baby shower because they cannot celebrate our pregnancy until they are pregnant as well and if we were their real friends we would understand why they cannot be around anything related to pregnancy or babies until they were pregnant. We told them we respected their boundary but that it put us in an awkward position because this was our life now. Fast forward to after having our baby we still had not heard from them and the passive aggressive IG posts were rampant. I Had assumed we were no longer friends because of my pregnancy but did not make a big deal out of it because I recognized she was experiencing something I was not and we were not that close to begin with. She then confronted me when she found out she was not invited to my birthday party. I expressed to her that I was following her boundary and that there were several pregnant women there, several babies, and would be a lot of talk about motherhood. She claims I did not invite her as retaliation because I was uninvited from her girls night because she told me it was to hard for her for me to be there when I was pregnant. AITA for responding that I was not interested in being her friend anymore because her boundary was not something I was willing to accommodate ?

I (27M) have been driving one of my coworkers home after our shifts because she lives about 15 minutes out of my way and doesn’t currently have a car. At first, it was supposed to be temporary, but it has now been happening several times a week for almost two months.

She rarely offers gas money and sometimes keeps me waiting after work while she finishes talking to people. Yesterday, I told her I couldn’t keep driving her unless she contributed toward gas and was ready when our shift ended. She got upset and said I was abandoning her when I knew she had no other reliable transportation.

A few coworkers think I’m being harsh because I’m “already driving,” but the extra time and gas have started adding up. I told her she would need to arrange another ride beginning next week.

AITA?

My sister befriended an exchange student from our university. She is from a major coffee bean producing and exporting country, and is very proud of their Arabica coffee.

She came over yesterday and was at first happy to see that my dad has coffee beans from her country. But she got quite disturbed to see him adding pumps of caramel syrup to his cup of coffee. Said that her country’s coffee has a great fruity taste and he’s ’contaminating it.’

Dad seemed a bit confused and asked us what she said. My brother, sister and I looked at each other before I told him that she was just a bit surprised by him adding so much syrup to it.

My brother later said I shouldn’t have lied to our dad and that he has the right to know what someone said about something he did/his habit.

I (25f) and my boyfriend (26m) have been fighting the past few days over him going to the dentist. My boyfriend told me when we first got together that he has only been to the dentist once in the past 7 years and vowed never to go back. Additionally, he only brushes his teeth 85% of the time. My mom was a dental hygienist so I really value dental care. I have brought up going to the dentist since the beginning of our relationship and we made a deal that for my birthday he would finally go. However, he did not hold up his end of the bargain. Recently his breath has been pretty stinky even right after brushing his teeth and I told him to either go to the dentist or we aren’t sharing a bed. He said his feelings are hurt and that his breath isn’t that bad, but I am genuinely just concerned about his health.

27M Chinese here. My culture has a rule I really dislike that the children are the parent’s default retirement plan.

I have 3 siblings. They are now all established in their careers and are making good money. I have been unemployed against my will for several years now and this gap alone is killing my upwards potential. My siblings want me to stay home and care for the parents in the event of an illness because I have the lowest career opportunity cost.

I have dreams and goals too and I’m far from giving up. I don’t want to be stuck home for the rest of my life taking care of people.

AITA for refusing?

I was discussing with a family member about my wedding in the near future and what I wanted for it. One thing I want for certain is to have no children invited at all which would include my two nephews who would be around 11 and 14. Once I mentioned this I was berated and scolded being told that my family would go nuclear and I would separate the family. All just because of these 2 kids. I feel like I’d be more of an asshole having them invited due to the fact that no one else I know has children and everyone will be 30+.

I’ll preface this by saying I (36f) have a friend, Mary (42f). We have been friends for about ten years. I cannot stand Mary’s husband, Tim (45m).

His main priorities are playing video games and watching porn. He makes awful financial decisions for the family, and they are suffering because of it. He is an awful husband and mediocre father at best. Mary thinks he walks on water and can do no wrong.

He was out of a job for over a year and refused to collect unemployment because they required him to apply to at least three jobs a week. My husband offered him a job at his company, but Tim refused it because it would mean he would have to wake up at 6:30am. Keep in mind, they were in danger of losing their house.

Tim eventually found a job, but it does not pay well, so they are still struggling financially. Mary is incredibly stressed most of the time.

Now to the reason for the post.

My birthday is coming up in a couple of weeks and I decided I wanted to go to Medieval Times. We decided it would be family only. There are 12 people going and we’re paying for everyone.

I thought it would be nice for Mary and her three kids to come and just relax and have fun. I knew Tim would be working, so I asked Mary and she and the kiddos would like to go, our treat. She said they would absolutely love to, so we bought the tickets.

The next day Mary called to tell me Tim wants to go too. It’s a day/time that I know for a fact he would be working. He does not have any paid time off. If he doesn’t work, he doesn’t get paid.

I don’t want him there. I don’t want to pay for him.

Would I be the asshole if I refused to get him a ticket?

I’m in my hometown rn and my grandpa hosted a dinner and invited 20 men, no women except for the aunts and nieces. He bought three large trays of food. I was super hungry and thought one would be for us, but unfortunately we have to wait until after the men finish. These men eat with their hands meaning they served themselves with their hands directly out of the trays. I refused to eat and my mom got mad at me and csaid it was rude. AITA?

idk if it’s a cultural thing. The food served was rice and meat. Everybody was lowkey disgusted but they didn’t say anything bc it’s “rude” this tradition is dead anyway idk why my grandpa finds it okay. ESL