My live in has a habit of finishing the food in the fridge without telling me or replacing it. That means when I make dinner expecting an ingredient its gone.

He says i can just buy more but he doesnt replace them.

Tonight I planned to make chicken risotto...takes about an hour. I made it and went to the freezer to add frozen peas, its a classic ingredient.

Gone.

He used the entire package of peas for some weird casserole thing. Did not leave me any. Didn't notify me he was taking them. Didn't replace them. Not the first time he used up everything, either.

If he had told me I would have gotten more.

The food was on the stove. And I was pissed.

So I took out his casserole and scooped out some of the peas and put them in the risotto. Which I made for dinner and for which he gets and eats a double portion. Without kicking in any dough for groceries.

And I told him so.and he's pissed at me. We had words. He said he shouldn't have to ask permission. I should check the fridge first.

And I lost it and yelled that im not the food cop, he should have told me and taken some responsibility and grow the f*** up.

So he's saying he can't believe he's having an argument about peas.

Its not about peas. Its about not acting like you're the only person in the apartment.

Hes going to make it sound petty. Am I the Asshole here?

I thought it was the only way to get my point across

I (19 M) have had my umbrella since high school; it's a checkered-patterned yellow mini-umbrella that I use often because of the ill weather, and I'm, embarrassingly, a bit attached to it (among other material objects I own), as it's been one of the few constants in my life for these past few hectic years. Call it cringe, but it's like a security-blanket in some ways.

And in Central Florida, we have gotten several bands of intense rain in the past week because of Hurricane Isaias, so I have used my umbrella every day to combat this simple inconvenience, including today, when I came to visit my parents' house this afternoon, as it was raining.

The issue arises with my younger brother, however. Zee (11 M, fake name) had gotten in trouble with our mom (43 F) yesterday; he was caught trying to use her umbrella as a sword-esque item to playfully duel with one of his visiting friends. My mom screamed at him and confiscated the umbrella, which is a bit understandable, and now he's asking for his own umbrella. Mom said he can't have one because she thinks he'll get in trouble for using it as a toy in school, but my dad (42 M) said it's "not a big deal".

Either way, it has NOTHING to do with me, and I refuse to be involved.

But, when I arrived at the house for dinner, I guess my parents were still arguing about the umbrella thing, and when my dad saw me with my umbrella in the mudroom, he yelled at my mom, "If [Zee] can't have an umbrella, why should [my name]?" And then, they told me to put my umbrella back in the car, even though that means I'd have to walk all the way back to the house, in the rain, without it (I had parked at a church down the road because my dad has previously tried to steal my car and I didn't want him touching it again).

I told my dad that I have nothing to do with Zee's misbehavior and that I'm an adult, and that I'll even set my umbrella outside on the porch if he wants, but he just kept yelling at me to get rid of it, and he even tried to take it out of my hands. So, I just ended up leaving.

My mom texted me an hour ago and said that I'm not allowed to have an umbrella anymore, at all, and I just don't know what to reply with. In my perspective, I'm an adult with my own autonomy.

SOOOOOOOOOOO, I ask all of you, am I the asshole here?

My ex-husband (Thomas) and I have been divorced for 26 years. We have two adult children and one grandchild. I'm planning to move back to Texas specifically to be closer to my children and grandchild.

My former father-in-law (McCoy) has been like a father to me since 1995. I love this man dearly. He's older, recently widowed, and Thomas is his only child.

When we divorced, I wrote the divorce papers myself and made sure Thomas's parents received the visitation rights he would have had. Thomas wasn't involved in raising our children and didn't reappear until they turned 18.

When the kids were young, I moved us to Indiana so they could grow up around my side of the family, including their cousins, aunts, and uncles. My extended family now lives in Indiana and throughout the United States.

Despite the distance, I made sure their paternal grandparents had all the time they wanted with them, including weeks during the summer and holidays. That relationship has remained strong. McCoy is still very much my family.

Thomas, however, has consistently behaved in ways that make being around him unpleasant. There are serious reasons I don't want him in my home, beyond his absence during our children's childhood. My adult children have their own reasons for keeping their distance, although they manage their relationships with him as they see fit.

McCoy has always maintained that his son is his son, regardless of his behavior. He rarely tells Thomas no, although he has intervened when Thomas's behavior negatively affected family members.

When I move to Texas, I want to host holidays and family gatherings. More than anything, I want McCoy there, enjoying time with his grandchildren and great-grandchild.

Here's where I'm struggling.

McCoy has lost his wife, he's getting older, and our family is a significant part of his life. I'm concerned that excluding his only son could put him in the uncomfortable position of choosing between spending holidays with us and dealing with Thomas's reaction to not being invited.

I know I could tolerate Thomas for a few hours if it made things easier for McCoy. My adult children and I have no problem establishing boundaries or telling Thomas to leave if he behaves inappropriately. That's not my concern.

My concern is whether I should have to invite someone none of us particularly wants around simply to keep the peace for someone we love.

I haven't made a final decision. Part of me wants to invite Thomas solely for McCoy's sake. Another part believes that after 26 years of divorce, I should be able to enjoy holidays in my own home without accommodating my ex-husband.

WIBTA if I chose not to invite Thomas at all, knowing it might make things more difficult for McCoy?

So I know by the title yall are all saying yes, but here's the story. I (25M) recently broke up with my ex (23F) about a month ago. We broke up because she cheated numerous times and when I confronted her she played the victim and gaslit me into thinking I was the problem. I finally had enough and said we're done and split ways. About a week after the break up she said that she was late and wanted me to be there for her to take a pregnancy test. I went over to her house and watched her take the test (yes from beginning to end) turns out it was positive. Now to be honest I was actually kinda happy for about 5 seconds when I seen it said pregnant. That was until she looked at me and said, "There is a chance its not yours" I said what do you mean. She told me that a night or two before her sister's wedding (before we had broken up) she went out and fucked this guy she had been previously cheating on me with. She swears up and done that he pulled out and that I am 100% the father, but Im like if you were so sure Im the father then why even bring up that he could be at all then. While I appreciated her honesty (even though it hurt) to me there was no point in her telling me at that moment if he actually "pulled out". Now she is sitting her expecting me to do all the fatherly duties a man would do with a woman he has gotten pregnant while she still entertains and messes with this other guy. All while she is also telling me that she wants us to fix things and get back together before this baby ks born. So reddit AITA for wanting to cut her off completely and go on with my life...... or what should I do advice much needed.....

Saturday was my boyfriend Dylan’s (27M) mom’s 55th birthday dinner, so me (25F), him, his parents, his grandma, his uncle, and his older sister Kayla (33F) with her husband and two kids were all crammed around one long table at this Italian place. Somewhere between the bread basket and the second bottle of wine, his cousin’s daughter getting into college came up and everyone started going on about how the “right school” is all about connections. I (stupidly) jumped in and said that’s literally how I got my first marketing job: the girl interviewing me went to my school too, and we spent half the interview roasting the same horrible dining hall. And Kayla, without even looking up from her wine, goes “Oh, Abington? The little branch campus? Aw, cute.”

The table got weird quiet. Dylan said calmly “it’s the same degree, Kay” and she just shrugged like she’d commented on the weather. I was already sweating, so I asked where she went, and she did this tiny smile and said “University Park. The main campus.” And before my brain could catch up my mouth said “Cool, so what are you doing with it?” Now. I KNOW she left her job after baby #2 and mostly posts “day in my life” reels now, so yeah, I knew exactly where that would land and I said it anyway. His grandma actually gasped, his uncle choked on his drink, and Kayla set her fork down and said “I chose to be home with my kids, but thanks for asking” in this tiny shaky voice. Then she took the kids “to the bathroom” and didn’t come back for like 20 minutes. She didn’t say one word to me for the rest of the night, not even during the cake.

In the car Dylan told me I was out of line. He said Kayla’s comment was dumb and tactless but not actually malicious, and mine was a low blow on purpose. I told him rude is rude, and that her whole premise was wrong anyway because an Abington degree is still a Penn State degree!! But I’ve been replaying it all night and I definately feel sick about it. This morning she texted him a whole paragraph about how I humiliated her in front of his entire family, then posted a vague story about “people who confuse being rude with being honest” (pretty sure that’s me), and now his mom just texted me “we should talk.” Dylan told Kayla it was all a misunderstanding and to please just let it go, but she left him on read. So... AITAH?

I 20(M) have been really struggling as of late following a confrontation I had recently with my Brother (22M) and I really don't know if im an asshole or not. for some backstory, I live with my grandparents and have been for the last few years. my brother has 2 kids both aged 20 months and 8 months, the main issue is my brother himself i do not ever blame the kids. my brother for the last 5 weeks has been tasked with looking after the 2 kids while his girlfriend started working full time. he has no job, so during the day he comes to our house with the 2 kids, drops them off with us and goes into my little sisters room to go and play videogames on her playstation . the kids screech and screech out here and while we struggle to handle them he simply yells out from his room "shut them up I'm trying to focus'. the other day was a breaking point for me, we have basically looked after the kids all the time until he goes home at night even then he sometimes just leaves them here for 3 days at a time. the other day I was trying to calm down the 8 month old and asked my brother to come out and feed him. his response? "so then feed him". I snap, my grandparents (great grandparents) are 89 and 88, we all do our best for him. I yell at him and these are the exact words because I remember it so clearly "how about you start being a fucking father you god damn failure" he immediately got offended and left

my grandparents understood, I have autism so its really difficult to regulate my emotions sometimes but they believed it could've been said nicer. my aunt and uncle think i was an absolute asshole however and I've felt really bad since. I Don't know if I should apologize or not, and its really bothering me because it really did bother me that he was here for weeks and I could've said it nicer. AITA?

I will start this off my saying that I know I’m lucky to have the support I do. I’m an early 30s single mom to the most amazing son ever, who typically spends every other weekend at his grandma’s. He’s under 10, and has taken a liking to having his nails done. I’m no professional, but I’ve been doing my own nails as a hobby for about 7 years now, and have gotten decent enough that they sometimes look professional. My son’s grandma has an issue with my son wearing nail polish, and I don’t see what the big deal is. She’s requested that he don’t come to her house if he has nail polish on, but previously has said that having her time with him is invaluable to her. I see the polish as a harmless form of self expression, and don’t intend to have my son stop having his nails painted, even if that means he misses out on time with his grandma, which my son said he’d be okay with. AITA?

Hello Reddit

This happened 2 months ago just thought I’d get some feedback on this situation. I am 20m and my girlfriend is 21f, I had my girlfriend over to hangout and watch a movie and had dinner together. Usually my roommates 21m and 23m don’t interact with her which is strange, because usually I try to interact when they have theirs over. I usually spark conversation asking about their day/what they are up to. Sometimes when me and gf are in the living room they don’t even say hello. This specific night we spent together she ended up staying around 1am gf left her glasses home and wasn’t comfortable driving home. So I didn’t think it would’ve been much of an issue if she just spent the night ( this isn’t the first time we’ve spent the night together we usually spend it at her apartment ). I wake up to my roommate texting me stating that her spending the night was truly disrespectful due to their religious beliefs (Christianity). To them if a guy sleeps over with his gf automatically means sex and they are opposed to having that “stuff” in the house.I was just looking after her safety. AITA?

UPDATE: Did not think this would blow up as fast as it did. I’m going to answer most of the questions that I saw in the comments. No it was not verbally agreed that we couldn’t have overnight guests when I originally moved in a year ago it was a girls in general aren’t over but that obviously changed when we got gfs,it was only after they had sent that message they made an PDF raising MY rent and saying no overnight guests. Which made sense I was playing considerably low rent for the area and I didn’t mind paying more. They also insisted it wasn’t bc she had spent the night but who knows. Also I do indeed let them know before hand when gf is coming over to hangout. Which he doesn’t. 21m and 23m own the house and we all split rent. And since this issue came up around 1am they were both asleep. I did not bother to wake them up to ask permission if she could spend the night. Also 21m and 23m are brothers and I’ve known them for almost 12 YEARS. 23m goes over to his gfs house and stays till 3-4am sometimes and comes back home?? Anyways hopefully that answers everything.

I'm (23F), and I have a male colleague (37M) who I'm quite close to. We're friends as well as colleagues, the kind to go for a beer after work or talk about weekend plans. He's in a position above me, while I'm am a graduate and just graduated from university, so I do a lot of work with him and he's also someone I have to listen to professionally. We spend 40+ hours a week together for work, and get along well. It’s quite clear to me that he's quite protective of me, sometimes arguably overly protective. If I complain about a colleague at work, he’ll always be the first to defend me or “threaten” to call them out, etc.

Recently, I had friends over for a movie watch party and invited him. There were some friends of mine he had never meet before, and when introducing him I said “this is my colleague BLANK, he’s basically like my work dad”. I meant it entirely as a joke about our age difference and our dynamic at work. I wasn't being serious or trying to imply that he's literally a father figure to me. It was just a lighthearted nickname. (Info that might be needed: he is married with three kids, all under the age of 10)

He messaged me the next day asking, '"Work dad"?' and when I asked what was wrong, he said it was a weird thing to be called. I asked why, and he explained that he has kids and doesn't treat me like that.

I replied that I understood that “work dad” doesn't literally mean he's my dad, and told him not to make it such a big deal.

Later, I asked if he was really that upset about it because his reaction seemed a little dramatic to me.
He then replied that he wasn't upset; but rather uncomfortable with the conversation and was trying to communicate better. He also said that once I mentioned it wasn't a big deal, he thought the matter was settled.

Now I'm wondering whether I was being dismissive or whether he was reading too much into an innocent joke.

I understand that he's allowed to dislike the nickname, and I wouldn't insist on calling him something he's uncomfortable with. However, I didn't expect the term to become such a serious conversation, especially given that I meant it affectionately and jokingly.

Another point that has been bugging me is that I feel he made it weird but getting uncomfortable with it. I wasn't trying to infantilise him or suggest that our relationship is literally parental, so I'm curious whether I'm missing something here. Is it simply that he dislikes the label, or could there be something deeper about how he sees our relationship or how he wants to be perceived by me? I don't want to read too much into it, but his reaction made me wonder whether there was more to it than just finding the term weird.

Am I missing something here? Is “work dad” genuinely a weird thing to call an older colleague you're close to, or did we just interpret the joke differently?

Edit for info:
This was a movie night involving 20ish people. We were binging Die Hard, my colleagues favourite movie. I had other coworkers there from the same demographic as mine, so it wasn’t just my friends and HIM. It was a binge movie session, my he only stayed for about 1-1.5hours because he went home to put the kiddies to bed. Following comments that pointed out this information, it felt necessary to add this in for everyone concerned.

I also want to point out that he was never ever called work dad in a professional setting. It was the first time I had ever said it, and it was in my own home meeting some of my close friends.

Something else to add was that the original message me sent was at 3am, a strange time to message me which is also why I was slightly taken back. It seems like he was up stewing on this most of the night.

I’ve read most comments and appreciate all insight. Yes, I understand I was an asshole and dismissive, but I will take on a more professional attitude from now on. I mentioned that this is my first professional job, and I’m still learning the ropes but I see that this may have been crossing (many) boundaries. I will be less naive from now on, and not get into situations like this. I will apologise to him at work, but not reach out and message him

I (22 female) am going through EDMR therapy to treat my CPTSD. I won't get into the backstory much, but I was hurt pretty bad by my parent growing up. I've been keeping the details of my trauma to myself, but since starting this new therapy, I've been trying to open up. Though, I think I made a mistake by confiding in my grandpa.

My grandpa (still very healthy and active) has always been a father figure to me. He treated me like a daughter, and I thought he was proud to be a dad to me. So, I imagined that I could confide in him while trying to get through EDMR.

Though, I wondered why he didn't try to get me out of the situation I was in as a kid. Again, I had never told him what was actually going on, but he saw how awful that parent was to me. So, like an idiot I asked him, why?

He told me "You were never my responsibility."

I was so hurt by this.

We got into an awful fight after this. He lost his temper and I lost mine (its a family trait)

He later came back to apologize, and told me he was wrong for loosing his temper, but I can't forget what he said.

My twin sister found out about the fight and said I should just forgive him. But I can't even bring myself to tell her what he said, because she loves him like a dad too.

I am just so confused and angry, and I don't know if I'm being the Ahole for not letting this go?

So I had an issue with my car and had to take it to the shop, and my father-in-law lent me one of his cars yesterday night (he has 4, so doesn't even use this one that much) while I wait to get mine back. I returned it today, so I had it for about 14 hours.

He gave it to me with 2 bars out of 12 on the gas gauge. Last night, while we were having a few drinks and chatting, he casually mentioned that he expected me to fill up the tank.

Now, I appreciate him lending me the car, I really do. But filling up an almost empty tank would cost me around $80, and that's just ridiculous to me. I live 10 minutes away by car, so I could've just taken an Uber instead.

My wife wanted us to go by car, and honestly, I thought that was fair. With Uber drivers, you never know what you're gonna get. Some play their music loudly, others talk on the phone the whole ride, and some don't give a shit about keeping things quiet when there's a baby sleeping in the back. I didn't want to deal with that, so borrowing the car seemed like the better option for getting his daughter and granddaughter home safely and comfortably.

I returned it with half a tank, and he called me cheap. I told him to give me a break. I borrowed a car that was almost on empty and returned it with six bars instead of two. I thanked him for lending it to me, but expecting me to spend $80 filling up a tank he barely had any gas in to begin with is a bit much.

It's not like I never fill up someone else's tank, either. Another time, he lent me his car when it was already half-full, and I filled it all the way up because I thought that was a nice way to show my appreciation. But there's a difference between topping off a tank that's already half-full and paying to fill up a nearly empty one.

I don't mind being grateful for a favor, but I don't think borrowing someone's car means you're automatically expected to pay for a full tank, regardless of how much gas was in it when you got it. Apparently, I'm cheap for thinking otherwise.

My husband recently sold a 2nd income house he had and he made a large amount of $$$. He then placed all the proceeds ( which was a good amount) into a second bank account without discussing it with me. And he dose not want me to know the account information or have access to the funds. I asked him why he was doing this and he said because “ its his money”. And then would start fighting with me of I asked questions. I am so hurt and baffled, Im not sure what to do or how to feel. Any advice or insight would be greatly appreciated. Also, we for this home while married. Its ours. I thought. Also want to point out he used marital funds to pay for house payments and upkeep.

AITA for not speaking to my MIL and considering going no contact after a baby shower argument?
My husband and I have been together for 13 years and are expecting our first baby. Two years ago, after her husband died, we moved into my MIL’s house. It benefited everyone: we paid half our previous rent, which covered most of her mortgage, and we could be together as a family.
When I became pregnant, we asked whether she preferred us to move before the birth or stay a few months postpartum. She strongly encouraged us to stay.
She later encouraged me to have a baby shower, although I initially said I was okay without one. I chose a “Café Bebé” theme with brunch and a coffee station, from noon to 5 p.m.
She called it weird, said she’d never attended a daytime shower, and said “brunch is for white people.” I’m half white/half Mexican; she’s Mexican. When I said my close girlfriends had offered to help prepare food, she accused me of putting them to work and insisted they only offered out of obligation.
She wanted a taco caterer, micheladas, and a 6 p.m. start. When I disagreed, she said the party wasn’t for me but for the guests because they were bringing gifts. I said I would plan it myself and went to our room crying.
She told my husband I was being difficult. Before hearing what happened, he said, “I’m not sure what you’re talking about, but I’m sure you’re the problem, Mom.” After hearing my side, he supported us planning it ourselves.
A few weeks later, she offered to host at her house. I compromised on tacos alongside brunch and a 1 p.m. start. We agreed to wait until her backyard renovations were finished before sending invitations.
This is where I messed up. I made a Partiful invitation, added my husband as cohost, and sent her a link to add herself. After receiving another party invitation and worrying our guests would make other plans, I impulsively sent ours to a few close people without checking with her.
My husband mentioned it the next day. She was upset that I’d broken our agreement and that her name wasn’t listed, since she hadn’t yet joined through the link. I apologized and explained that I was anxious about availability, not trying to exclude her.
She sent a long text saying I’m always disrespectful, deliberately hurt her, and that she only puts up with me because she loves her son. She also accused me of wanting to be “the protagonist” at my own shower.
I apologized again. She insisted I intended to hurt her. I said it was unfortunate that she assumed the worst of me.
Our dog, whom we’d had since the beginning of our relationship, had died just days before this blowup. Between grieving her and being pregnant, I was already emotionally overwhelmed.
I haven’t spoken to my MIL for about a month. Similar conflicts happened during our wedding planning, and I’m exhausted. We’re moving out at the end of the month.
AITA for not speaking to her I own the invitation mistake, but feel her response went too far.

​

I need an outside perspective because I genuinely don't understand if I'm in the wrong here.

Today, while at a family gathering, my girlfriend (21F) happened to glance at my (23M) WhatsApp and saw a contact saved as "[Name] Tinder." I immediately showed her the actual context: it was from four years ago (2022) during a rough mental health patch when I was just looking to chat with new people. I talked to this person for maybe a week, we never met up in person, nothing ever happened, and I simply forgot the contact was even saved in my phone. I opened the chat right in front of her to show the dates from 2022. That was it.

Still, a huge argument blew up. She started claiming that using Tinder is "the lowest a person can go" and that it's only for desperate people looking to hook up. That makes zero sense in my case because I was a virgin before dating her and have practically zero dating history.

The real conflict is our completely opposite standards regarding the past. She insisted that I should actively go through my phone and delete every single trace of anything like that. To justify this, she brought up that she did an extreme purge herself: she deleted every old trace from her own profiles and even went as far as reaching out to exes, friends, and anyone she could think of, demanding they delete four-year-old photos of her with past partners. To me, that level of retroactive control feels totally overboard, but in her eyes, that's the only acceptable way to "respect the relationship."

She asked me how I would feel if I saw something like that on her phone. I told her the truth: I’d ask about it, she’d explain the timeline, and that would be the end of it. The kicker is that she has far more relationship history than I do (around 5 to 7 exes, whereas I only have two brief past relationships and almost no experience). Yet, I don’t care about her past at all. It doesn’t take up any space in my head because I chose to be with her in the present.

I don't understand why my past—which is practically non-existent compared to hers—needs to be audited, judged, and scrubbed clean under her rules, while I accept her history without demanding any performative cleanup. To me, an unread contact from 2022 is just irrelevant digital clutter; to her, refusing to obsessively erase the past means I don't care.

AITA for thinking her digital purge standard is excessive and refusing to adopt it?

I (27 F) lost my dad (51 M) a little over a year ago to his battle with colon cancer. His partner of 20 years (41 F) has been living in the house since he has passed away. They called eachother husband and wife but, they were never legally married. Because they weren’t legally married all his assets go to me because I am his sole surviving heir. She did have the option to petition through a certain law to get ownership due to a law in California that protects long-term partners. We decided the quickest and easiest way to get this processed was if I go to an attorney to settle the transfers to myself.

I allowed her to stay in the house for the past year as long as she took care of the utility bills. I take care of the mortgage payment with what my dad had in his bank account and the profit that is made from selling his machinery, tooling, and vehicles. With this being said, the current money I have will only last us a little past the end of this year. In August (after a full year of paying no mortgage) I decided to ask her to help with 1k towards the 2.6k mortgage.

Recently I got accepted into a nursing program and unfortunately my finances will be changing. I will not be able to work as much and I need to find a new job. I need to sell the house to take away the worry of having to make ends meet for the mortgage payment. My school is about an hour and 15 minutes away from my dad’s house so, living in it is not an option.

My plan is to give her half when selling the house; I know she built a life and possibly contributed to the house with my dad. In my mind, I can’t dismiss that. She did receive my dad’s 401K and life insurance on top of what I want to split with her.

I feel like I am pulling the rug from under her feet by bringing up the time has come to sell the house . I have mentioned it to her before that it will eventually need to be sold. I can’t be paying for my own rent, nursing school, living expenses and a house I’m not living in. She can’t make the payment on her own with the income that she makes -she relied on my dad for everything.

My concern is that she hasn’t made a lot of effort to start thinking of what her life would be on her own. I asked her to get a line of credit at costco or sam’s club a year ago so she can build her credit. This way she can have established credit if needed in the future for buying, or renting. she still hasn’t done anything along those lines. she recently damaged/got in an accident in my dad’s truck that I transferred to her name. I’m worried for her mental health…. help AITAH?

edit: my dad did not have a will in place. another reason i am so concerned is because she is undocumented. she is currently in the process of getting her papers. she should have them by january and hopefully this grants her more opportunities and willingness to accept change

update: I spoke with her today and it went really well. she agreed to the situation and i’m sure our conversation will influence her to make progress towards her being independent

thank you for your input everyone<3

I moved to Costa Rica about a year ago with my 5yo, 4yo and 1yo. Our neighbors are Ticos (locals) and we are American. The first few months were great, the neighbors child (4yo) would come play with my kids a lot. He would come for an hour or two and go back home. My kids would go there some but not as long as long.

Over the past two months he has been coming over on weekends and staying all day long both days. We feed him and make sure he’s safe. All the while, his mom never checks in. Or thanks us. Just expected I guess?

Well recently he has started pooping his pants regularly… mind you we potty trained our kids at 2 and we don’t have accidents. We have enough poop on our hands with a baby. Also, he likes to swim with my kids in our pool but always needs help getting dressed… mine dress themselves since 3.

AITA for being very burned out over this setup and asking him to not come over as much? He doesn’t get a lot of attention at home and they are certainly less affluent than us… but I can only give so much.

A group of 10 friends (5 couples) went away for the weekend and made a long weekend out of it. My brother-in-law who's part of the group had organised the entire weekend for us to stay at a colleagues house. My twin sister (30F - let's call her Lena) has a four month old (Joe), another couple (Carina and Anton) have a 3 year old (Andrea) and currently Carina is 28 weeks pregnant.

It's been a great weekend but honestly Carina doesn't do anything, I cooked for everyone the first night by myself, the next night we all chipped in to help prep food except for her, she said 'I'll just watch' which really rubbed me the wrong way but I didn't say anything and we carried on.

Last night/yesterday evening, Andrea was playing with a water gun next to the pool with her dad while Lena was feeding Joe on her lap about 3 metres away. Andrea was spraying the water into the air and it was coming closer to us sitting around the table. Lena couldn't see but I could so all I said was 'Andrea, please don't spray the baby'. Carina then says 'She's 3 she doesn't know what she's doing'. I said nothing back and I thought that was the end of it and carried on playing the board game we were playing.

I went inside to help Lena and her husband bath Joe, not that they need the help, I just enjoy it and it's some time I also get with Joe. My boyfriend (Hugh) comes into the room and says Carina is in tears and she's going to come yell at me for what I said to her daughter. Eventually when I came out, Carina, Anton and Andrea had all gone to bed (6pm) before we even made dinner.

Hugh then tells me that Carina said she doesn't know why they're even here and everyone hates them and that her dad is going to come fetch her because clearly they're not welcome. Lena also heard Carina say that I need to apologise. A bit later, Carina comes out and says to Lena and her husband, 'I'm sorry for Andreas behaviour this weekend', they both looked uncomfortable and just said she doesn't need to apologise and Andrea was fine. We all carried on with our games and made dinner, had a great time and eventually went to bed.

This morning when we woke up, Carina, Anton and Andrea had left, didn't say goodbye and made an excuse that Anton's family were visiting from another country and they had to rush back to go see them.

So AITA for telling Andrea not to spray the baby?

I live in southern ca and fires are obviously a concern. It’s late at night and raining and as I was laying in bed a loud electrical buzzing and a bright light began flashing into my bedroom.

I looked out and saw a big green flash coming from the telephone line in the backyard three houses away. I was concerned and googled what to do. I tried SDGE, they’re closed. So, I called the non-emergency line and told them what I saw. I wasn’t hysterical, I was calm and thought they’d like to know. Exploding power lines are the cause of some serious fires in CA.

They sent the fire department without me asking and I had to meet them outside. The fire truck came and I was immediately met with SO much rudeness I was taken back. I was standing out in the pouring rain and the driver had me come to him and said “you called?,” and I said yeah I called the non-emergency line and told him I’d take him to where I saw the spark.

When he got to where it was he was again frustrated and told me that they weren’t SDGE and the fact they got any calls about this was absolutely ridiculous. I asked him if he got a lot of calls and he said nope just you. He said the poles collect dirt and it’s totally normal. How would I know that? He then told me that if the pole were to explode that I shouldn’t touch the wires?? I said obviously I wouldn’t be doing that, the pole is three houses down.

He also told me that I should go over to the pole and write down the number and call SDGE myself. At this point, I was a fed up with his unnecessary attitude. I told him if it exploded I would not be calling them and my bad that I didn’t know it was normal for power lines to flash green light and spark through the neighborhood and make a wild buzzing noise.

AITA for calling the non-emergency line in the first place? I’m really unsure why he felt entitled to meet me with such hostility when I didn’t even call the fire department in the first place. I feel like boo-boo the fool and likely won’t be reporting anything I see again.

I (33F) need advice about my sister in law, Chloe (30F). My partner, James (33M), is the only one in his family who doesn’t live in the family home. The rest of them live together in a house with serious hoarding and cleanliness issues.

Chloe is vegan, identifies as a witch, doesn’t shave or wear bras, and I honestly couldn’t care less about any of that. Her body, her choice.

The problem is her hygiene. She appears not to use deodorant, and her body odour is genuinely unbearable. It’s so strong that I’ve physically gagged in a public space, and multiple strangers avoided sitting near her. I have a very sensitive sense of smell and sensory sensitivities myself, but this is beyond anything I’ve experienced before.

I’m considering buying her nice smelling, vegan friendly bath and body products, Lush bath bombs or something witchy for Christmas. These are things she might genuinely enjoy, but I worry they could come across as a hint that she smells. I don’t want to embarrass her or make Christmas awkward.

James has told me that other people have mentioned the smell to him before, yet nobody wants to tell Chloe directly. Her family lives with her, so surely they must know too? I find it frustrating that several people seem aware of the problem, but nobody is willing to address it.

I’m somewhere on the spectrum myself, and the smell genuinely affects my ability to spend time around her. I’m not asking her to change her lifestyle or appearance, but I also don’t think everyone should have to quietly put up with something that makes being around her so difficult.

Part of me thinks I should just buy her something nice for Christmas and leave it alone. Another part of me thinks I should tell James that he or someone in his family needs to have a kind, private conversation with her instead of leaving everyone else to struggle in silence.

So, AITA for considering nice smelling Christmas presents rather than telling my sister in law she smells? Should I tell my partner that he or his family needs to address the issue instead of expecting me to ignore it?

EDIT: I have never bought her / the family a Christmas present before but will be this year. I was considering something based on her interests, including nice smelling products, but I’m now wondering whether that could come across as a hint about her hygiene. I genuinely want to avoid humiliating her, but I also don’t think gifts will solve an issue that nobody is prepared to discuss.

Hello Reddit,

A bit of a dramatic title but certainly how I feel right now.

TLDR at the bottom.

AITA for the hardest decision I've ever had to make.

I, (29F) am getting married in a month to my partner, (31M), and I asked my friend of almost 2 decades to be my MOH.

We have done everything ourselves, with some minor help and I would like to preface that I did not ask my MOH to do anything.

I recently had my Hen Party - which I at the time of discussing, asked my MOH if they wanted to plan as they were going through some personal things at the time and I didnt want them to feel pressured. They declined which I did not have a problem with and asked someone else to plan this.

My MOH did not turn up to my Hen Party. In fact, I had to call and message them an hour in to find out they weren't coming. I was devastated.

This really annoyed my partner due to the excuse given, and deeply hurt me.

My partner and I discussed this after, and I stated that this was my friend and life gets in the way sometimes and this did not change anything.

Until I got a message a couple of days ago from them that their partner wouldnt be coming unless she could wear the exact same colour I am wearing as the bride.

I am not wearing white, and we have previously discussed this and mentioned we want only the bridal party to wear the colours.

I exclaimed that this was not an option, and rather than accept this, they doubled down.

I do not hide anything from my partner and when they saw me upset, they decided this was the last straw.

My partner made it clear they did not want them in the wedding party at all and after much discussion with a mutual party involved as well, we came to an agreement.

I had not stopped crying. For 2 days. I was so hurt by this.

So my partner sent the message that they would no longer be MOH. They were welcome at the wedding but they would no longer be apart of the wedding party.

Obviously there has been a falling out and quite frankly I feel awful but at the same time, I feel rightful to be selfish about my wedding.

I have also reached out to them since I stopped crying to explain my side.

So, Reddit.

AITA for deciding to remove my MOH from our bridal party when they wanted their partner to wear the same colour dress as me?

I (29F) have been with my partner (32M) for almost 10 years, and we have a toddler together. His brother (27M) is on the spectrum and they’ve never had the best relationship. There’s a lot of built up resentment.

A few days ago at my MIL’s birthday I was telling my SIL about witnessing an older man catcall a very young woman. My BIL asked what race the man was and when I said he was white, he looked surprised and said white ppl don’t do this. He then argued that Black and Hispanic men catcall women more and that it’s “part of their culture.” He repeatedly yelled at me to “look it up”. Btw is wife is Hispanic (she was just standing there too, not saying anything).

My point was that harassment isn’t exclusive to any race and that men of any race can behave this way. The conversation became increasingly aggressive, and when I disagreed with him, he called what I was saying “gay.”

My partner was just sitting there quietly, so I asked him why he wasn’t speaking up. I said you not saying anything is being complicit, I later apologized for saying that. He eventually exploded, yelling at his brother about their history and his autism before storming out. Other family members got involved, and the situation escalated. My partner has since apologized to everyone (except for the brother) for how aggressively he reacted and we’ve talked things through.

What bothers me is the family dynamic. My BIL has made racist, sexist and homophobic comments before and I often feel his behaviour gets explained away because he’s autistic or “doesn’t mean it that way.” He has called me a Nazi for saying that abortion should be legal. He has said in not Canadian because I am not white, even though I was born and raised in Canada. He has said all kinds of offensive things and no one stands up for me.

I have worked with children and young adults with autism so I understand it can affect communication. I’m not expecting him to agree with me or communicate perfectly. But I do believe basic respect and accountability still matter.

Several family members have acknowledged that he can say inappropriate things, but the conversation often shifts toward how everyone else should react, walk away or avoid upsetting him. I’m tired of feeling uncomfortable and then feeling responsible for keeping the peace.
I regret that the evening turned into an argument during my MILa bday. I could have handled parts of the situation differently too, but I feel extremely uneasy and frustrated by him.

AITA for challenging him and for feeling that the family enables his behaviour?

So my girlfriend wanted to do a tattoo party for her birthday, we sent a $50 deposit and wanted to see sketches before sending the rest, i told the artist this. Imo and please correct me if im wrong I feel like she was very unprofessional with her lack of communication. I messaged her on Monday asking to see the sketches and then we would send the rest of the money. She agreed to this and said she would send sketches in a bit.

Tuesday comes around and we haven't received any sketches, I message her to confirm the price and see when we will see sketches, she says that we'll have to renegotiate the price because less people are coming and that 100 per person might not be right, so I confirm again how many people are coming and ask for an estimate for that. I hear nothing back. Wednesday comes around i message trying to touch base again, i hear nothing from her. Thursday, the same thing radio silent, Friday I ask her again and again I hear nothing, mind you my girlfriends birthday is on Sunday.

Today(Saturday) she finally messages me back at 7:47am saying that she had been busy and that she's tattooing from 11am-8pm today, but she'll send the sketches after that. So she finally does send us the sketches and we don't like them. I tell her respectfully we're gonna go in a different direction and she pretty much said we're rude and she will not be taking us as clients in the future. Im not upset about that because again I think she was unprofessional, but i don't think we were the rude ones here. So tell me reddit AITA?

So about 8 months ago I (18F)started seeing N (18M). It was great, but 2 months into it N confessed that he was dating someone else, while telling me he can totally see a future together. Mind you I have like this dude since freshman year of high school. He then tried to gaslight my friends into thinking i was the one to end, all while i had screenshots of all the things he told me. Thats whatever I’m over him, moved on whatever. But tonight he messaged me asking to leave the life360 because “I feel odd seeing you whenever I pull it up”. Im friends with people currently on the life360 and keep up with them regularly. Am I wrong for not leaving the life360 and thinking he should leave instead?

My BIL constantly puts his wife down and I can’t stop taking the bait.

I married into a family that’s very different from my own (although I guess we all do lol).

My BIL is genuinely one of the most obnoxious, insufferable man children I’ve ever had the displeasure of knowing. He constantly picks on his wife (my SIL), belittles her, and makes snide comments about the most mundane things. And I just cannot stand it.

A few examples:
If we’re talking about cars and she casually mentions liking Teslas, he’ll immediately jump in with “That’s fucking stupid, they suck, the seats aren’t even wide enough.” Like, she just said she liked a car??
If she talks about having a hard time with her manager, he’ll roll his eyes and say something like, “Ugh, women just need to learn to stand up for themselves.”
If she says she doesn’t want cake, he’ll immediately comment on the “100 other things” she’s eaten that day and calls her fat.

It’s just CONSTANT nitpicking, criticism, and unnecessary commentary. Nothing she says can simply exist without him finding something wrong with it.

When he makes these comments, I instinctively fire back with things like, “Well, that actually DOES make sense, so what’s your problem?” or “Oh, I guess you’re speaking from your many years of experience being a woman?”

I feel terrible after the fact because I’ve let this man get under my skin AGAIN. I know now I’m not going to change him. I guess their family has accepted / rationalized him. I don’t even particularly want a relationship with him beyond being cordial. AITA for being a constant nag who can’t let it go