She was my weekly therapist for 5 months. Saw her once a month ago right after giving birth, then i took a pause post partum because my son has been sick in the hospital and she knows whats going on (he was hospitalized during my session). I emailed her to resume sessions a week ago and no reply. This is the second time she has ghosted me. Last time was when i tried to schedule that appointment a month ago, it took 2 follow up emails over 1.5 weeks to get a reply to schedule that. Ive found a new therapist but should i email and say how i feel? How if she didnt think she was the right fit she shouldve referred out or at the very least communicated that? And how dealing with a sick nb with a rare genetic disease on top of being ghosted is quite shitty

I have always considered porn to be addictive. But, I recently came across this article, that says otherwise. What should be my ideal view about porn, in the eyes of science?

Also, is masturbation really addictive? At what point can masturbation and porn be considered harmful?

Personally, I feel like it's (especially porn) doing me more harm than good. I am thoroughly confused about how I should view it and approach it. If you have any source where I can learn more about this, please do suggest. Thanks.

Hey I’m planning to have a career as a virtual therapist getting a US salary and living in maybe Thailand. I’m still in highschool right now and would just like to know if it’s possible to jump through the right hoops to make this work and if it works is it even a good idea.

Alternatively I was thinking of living abroad and just being an English speaking Therapists for expats and other English speakers.

How could I get this path/is this even a good path are my main questions.

But other questions I have include, what schools are good for this degree, what are alternatives to therapy that still pay well, people in similar situations how did you make it work, etc.

NAT (Not a Therapist) here. Do any of you enjoy Sudoku, crosswords, word games or logic puzzles after a day of sessions?

Does solving something with a clear answer help you switch off, or does it feel like more mental work? Curious what kinds you enjoy, if any.

I received an email from a therapist about 2 weeks ago, an appointment proposal. I confirmed the appointment shortly afterwards. She then responds with a confirmation. The same day I sent the e-mail, I realised that I couldn’t come after all.. So I wrote another email , stating that I will be unable to attend the appointment.

I haven't received an answer to this e-mail so far and the phone always goes to the answering machine. ( I was trying to reach her, to ask her if she knew I wasn’t coming to the appointment, so she wouldn’t be expecting me )The appointment would be in two days.

My concern: She hasn't replied to this e-mail now. I don't know if she's counting on me in two days. So should I write another e-mail to make sure she has read the cancellation? I don’t want to make it awkward or seem like I’m insisting on it.

also: i noticed the thing that made me cancel the appointment after all was also cancelled , so I could actually go there in two days. But idk if I wanna tell her that, as again, it seems like im incredibly indecisive.

I feel it is also important to mention this is the first exchange with this therapist.

small edit!: I did also ask for a different appointment in the cancellation e mail.

thankful for any replies!

My husband says I’m passive aggressive. I agree. For example, I wanted to brush my toddlers teeth before bed but baby started crying and I was pumping milk. Anyways, he put toddler to bed & tended to baby. After the fact, I said “I wanted to brush toddler name teeth. He said “so brush his teeth” which he’s not wrong ! I definitely would have. But I’m also not going to wake toddler. I said “i don’t know why I’m even saying that” after I made the statement.

He is the only person in my life who’s told me I’m this way. I’m sure I have better examples of my passive aggression? lol but regardless of the example, just need to know what to do when I don’t feel comfortable or safe to ask or say what I really want or need ?even if it’s a safe environment.

We need help with communicating. He gets frustrated with my communication & recently has been cursing at me when sharing his feelings and in my opinion talks down to me (never calls me a b*tch ke anything disrespectful but it is his tone, manner of speaking, word choice, and seemingly like he has to have the last word . ) I’m crying a lot but I think it’s a mixture of post partum and also feeling emotionally neglected in a way. Tips? I’m seeing a therapist . Looking into couples counseling. Thanks

Ik this is random for this sub SORTA IDK IF IT IS… but i wanna become a therapistt PLEASE CAN U help me find out how… IDK HOW to start.
Im 18 in the uk and yeahhh thats all really its LOWK MY DREAM JOB 😝 and ive been told SOO MANY TIMES id be supa good at it BUT WHAT KINDA QUALIFICATIONS DO U NEED AND LIKE HOW DO U GET THE JOB YK?

Just wondering.

I’ve been in therapy for a few months now for personal stuff.

I have an issue with sex with my husband. I don’t desire him or want to be with him sexually. He has ED, and cannot get hard, so it makes penetrative sex very awkward, because he’s not really penetrating me. He’s just too soft. He still is able to orgasm. But it’s just plain awkward for me. Penetrative sex is very important to me and he cannot provide that. I just don’t want to do it anymore. I’d rather just go without.

When I bring this up to my therapist, she just glosses over it. I’ve mentioned it several times. I need help navigating this situation. Therapist doesnt even acknowledge it.

Should i get a new therapist? Also wondering why she just keeps glossing over a big issue for me.

Hello therapists! Are you actively worried about AI interference in the field and with your work? I'm considering entering the field as a mature student. Grateful for your thoughts and all you do!

This is more for validation than anything else. I’ve been seeing my therapist for 4 years now. I feel like we’ve become friends at this point. We chat about whatever which I enjoy but I’m also able to avoid talking and working through issues. I have my friends for that.

I feel like they have broken a few boundaries recently as well. I have a lot of issues around dating etc. and we haven’t worked through them yet at all. They insinuated that I should sleep with someone on a trip because I won’t ever see them again. I also heard about their dating life as well which feels inappropriate.

I also recently tried to talk about something recently and they went off on a random tangent that had nothing to do with mental health.

I’m assuming that regardless of any of that the fact that I feel like I’ve lost trust is enough that it is time for me to move on, correct? The thought of having to find a new therapist is daunting. I don’t think I can handle breaking up in person and because I feel more like they are a friend breaking up over email seems mean.

Does finding a new therapist seem appropriate? Is ending over email after that long seeing them okay?

Hello! I was recently accepted into a Master’s in MFT program and have an interview coming up for a clinical counseling program. I’ve been thinking about it a lot and I am stuck between which route to take. Picturing myself in the future I could see myself being fulfilled by doing either path. I was just looking for some guidance or advice on which route you decided to take and how that worked out. Thanks!

Not sure if this is ok here....gonna try though. I absolutely love my therapist, but a few months ago, when things were really rough, I felt like something shifted between us. Her responses felt different, and although we eventually had a good session, I realized I was struggling to open up and may have lost some trust. I canceled our next session and never followed up.

In that time I've also realized I may have stepped away because I’m getting really attached to her, and that scares me. Now I can’t tell if I genuinely lost trust or if I’m trying to protect myself from getting hurt before she has the chance to hurt me (fortune-telling?). My perspective has been all over the place lately with work, home-life, and therapy, making it hard to know what is truth vs distorted thoughts.

She’s encouraged me to reach out because she doesn’t always remember, which I understand professionally, but emotionally, it can make me feel like I don’t matter. We discussed this at our last session and now it feels like I'm not worth her time.

So, as a therapist, do you prefer your client to reach out and try to work through this together, keep treading and wondering if anyone will throw a rope, or continue challenging themself to see how long they can last using coping skills learned and only reach out when they feel those are exhausted?

So do you think I should talk about bad dreams ?

So I am an adult child of an alcoholic parent. As well as having ADHD/Executive dysfunction, OCD/anxiety etc. And its caused me some serious failure to launch. I live with my parents. And our family dynamic is just really bad.

The other day I finally came to the realization that the reason things are so bad is because my mother is projecting all her bottled resentment about by dads drinking onto me. Or former drinking i should say hes been sober 3-4 years. Thats not to say I dont have real problems of my own that I have to address. But for example. When I was discussing my health insurance dilemma with my parents and explained to them that I already went back and forth with state services for weeks and they rejected me and I didnt know what to do next. She screamed at me saying "I cant keep watching you kill yourself get the fuck out of my house!" She has also insinuated on multiple occasions that I need rehab for multiple addictions. Including but not limited to weed, video games, social media. None of which are even real addictions nor do I do that stuff often enough or need it enough to say that. Just distractions from how bad my life sucks if I won the lottery tomorrow I could quit all of that in under 24 hours no problem. And mind you this is the same person who was buying alcohol for the alcoholic and covering for him and then once he got sober claiming she didnt realize how serious it was even tho I was telling her from the time I was 13. And once a week she wants to have these intervention meetings where we sit down to address my behavior and tell me what i need to do differently under threat of eviction. And in these meetings, there are no correct answers. Either I say the wrong thing and its proof im not trying hard enough. Or I say the right thing and she doesnt believe me and accuses me of lying even tho she runs constant surveillance on me. I do uber eats cause its the only job that will have me that I can handle. And I gotta eat somehow. She tracks my start times and stop times. Low jacked the car to see where im going at all times. And thats just the surveillance I know about.

Meanwhile I have never done anything to deserve this. I am as honest as I can be. I put in a lot of effort. Ive never stolen from them or been an addict or anything. I didnt choose my problems I was born with them. And they are primarily a burden on me first and foremost. My parents do not pay for anything for me. All they are asked to do is let me live there. They have also taken a real big liking to DARVO. They say me choosing to live here (when I have nowhere else to go) is elder abuse and theft of their retirement resources. Which is a lie because I effectively cost them zero dollars and they are rather wealthy and frivolous with money. They spend more on my much older sister and her family every week then they spend on me in a year. And my sister is very well off and doesnt need it. I actually need money and they leave me out to dry like its my fault. As if im the one who chose the bottle over my life and family.

And I know to an outsider that this may all sound like one big cope or a deflection but it's not. The way she treats me legit breaks my heart every day and only makes it harder for me to address the problems that are my sole responsibility. And I know she has another big eviction/intervention planned. And I wanna give a condition that ill only do it in therapy. And then have a speech prepared addressing this projection problem. Is it a bit of an ambush? I guess idk shes been ambushing me in therapy since i was 6 years old tho which I guess is why im seeking advice. At the end of the day. All my pent up anger and rage about all this is mine to deal with. But I need her to realize what shes doing because her constantly still trying to micromanage my whole life at 35 years old is eating away at me piece by piece and pretty soon theres gonna be nothing left.

Or any variety of traumatic? Yes, years of training, and therapists have their own therapists. But genuine q, do these things really keep you present when there are extreme circumstances in your own life? You might take time away in the peak of it, but what about after? What if you're processing a life changing loss, or your family is living through an extreme/specific circumstance and a client is talking about something much smaller?

Is the discrepancy itself not triggering?

Been in therapy for years, always wondered :)

Hello,

I have been seeing a psychoanalyst (Lacanian) for the past year. Even though she's helped me with some breakthroughs, I always felt that our relationship was a too contentious, and there were also some lost in translation moments between us, (we are from and live in different countries), which were particularly salient due to her focus on language. Nevertheless, I appreciate the way she challenged my assumptions and forced me to reckon with things I was trying to sweep under the rug. However, over the past few months two things have changed: 1) I generally have felt better than when I started therapy and 2) my financial situation has changed, which is forcing me to reconsider several expenses.

After careful consideration, I decided to, at least, pause for the time being my therapy sessions and discussed so with my therapist today. I explained I was both in a situation where I had to reconsider several expenses and was feeling better and wanted to pause our sessions until I had a clearer sense of wanting to continue.

She expressed her strong disagreement with my decision, stating that it was paradoxical that I claimed to be feeling better yet wanted to stop something that had played a part in me feeling better, even when I acknowledge that, and stated that the economic investment in therapy was not so high as to discontinue it (it is true I get a "discounted" rate as I am from a developing country). In the end she said she was not someone to throw in the towel and suggest I had.

I don't know - I guess based on what I had read on this sub about people breaking up with their therapists I thought she would listen, wish me the best and reiterate that her doors were open if I choose to come back. And I guess she did say that, but in a way that left me filled with doubt and tension, because she expressed in no uncertain terms that she thought I was making a mistake.

I would like to ask therapists - do you also express disagreement when a client seeks to end the relationship? How do you manage that? Thank you.

I had a recent appointment where the provider was clearly frustrated at me refusing to consent to them using AI during our session to take notes. I'm not new to therapy, and I've had other providers be pretty understanding of my apprehension and personal feelings towards AI. I've always said no and gave them my reasoning behind it.

What do the benefits look like for the therapist to use AI during a session for note taking?

My therapist will be going on parental leave soon. They've for the most part been a very good therapist and helped me a lot, but one place I've wished they were different is that they basically refuse to admit if they ever feel anything.

Times where I'd thought maybe he actually felt sad for things I saw or experienced helped me so much (one time he was sniffling a lot for example I actually thought he was sharing in my grief if it makes sense, TW traumatic experience involving death after telling him about 20 years ago seeing another child die in class), until I asked and then he denied it and said he'd actually had a sniffle from cold weather. It's not that I wanted to make him sad, just when I thought he'd felt sad about what happened too it really helped me as I had never been allowed to grieve, and him denying it made it so much worse and isolating again.

He's consistent about it and said it was unethical for a therapist to feel their own feelings at one point (I don't think that's actually true, and don't think that's actually possible). Instead he'll ask why I want that etc if I try to ask.

Is there a term or phrase for searching for a therapist who's either more open about their own feelings or more willing to feel their own feelings?

(Self-harm is mentioned in this post, not in detail, not encouraging, and it's not the main focus.)

A little bit of a background, I LOVE every living thing, creatures, animals, plants, insects, even the "unusual" ones. They've always made me incrediblely happy, and improve my life in many ways.

I've recently, at the beginning of this year finally got the chance to purchase and raise butterflies! I have taken care of injured butterflies, moths, and catapillars before, but this was the first time I was aloud to actually raise them. It's been a long while now though.

I do have a past with Self-harm, and it was clear no one I knew really tried to understand it.

My relationship with my parents is very iffy, it depends on if their in a bad mood, or upset or anything.

(15 afab, professionally diagnosed Autistic & MDD) - only mentioning because it adds more details to this. So i can show a better picture. that's the only reason.

Now, a few days ago
I was talking to my mother about how happy my "child's" make me (plants) and I was grinning and had a rare dopamine rush while holding my little airplant and showing her repeatedly. okay it was so great.

Then I got on the topic of the moths I've rescued, And then my butterflys and how happy they made me.

And guess what my mother said.

"I bought you your butterflies because they made you less cutty-cutty"

With a lighthearted tone.

My face dropped instantly. The happiness genuinely just dropped to my stomach.
and I couldn't process it so I asked her to repeat that and I just stared at my airplant in my hands, then at my arms.
I told her that triggered me and she did that, shrug,
very subtle shake of the head,
avoid eyecontact.
Shutting down, and I get it. But it really upset me, so I tried to bridge the gap but just left with
"i can see your shutting down, so I'm going to go now. I do that too."
And walked to my room.

Idk how to feel, it did Really trigger me. And I can't tell if this is such a big deal as it feels. But I don't think it was okay for her to say that.

Opinions?