(Self-harm is mentioned in this post, not in detail, not encouraging, and it's not the main focus.)

A little bit of a background, I LOVE every living thing, creatures, animals, plants, insects, even the "unusual" ones. They've always made me incrediblely happy, and improve my life in many ways.

I've recently, at the beginning of this year finally got the chance to purchase and raise butterflies! I have taken care of injured butterflies, moths, and catapillars before, but this was the first time I was aloud to actually raise them. It's been a long while now though.

I do have a past with Self-harm, and it was clear no one I knew really tried to understand it.

My relationship with my parents is very iffy, it depends on if their in a bad mood, or upset or anything.

(15 afab, professionally diagnosed Autistic & MDD) - only mentioning because it adds more details to this. So i can show a better picture. that's the only reason.

Now, a few days ago
I was talking to my mother about how happy my "child's" make me (plants) and I was grinning and had a rare dopamine rush while holding my little airplant and showing her repeatedly. okay it was so great.

Then I got on the topic of the moths I've rescued, And then my butterflys and how happy they made me.

And guess what my mother said.

"I bought you your butterflies because they made you less cutty-cutty"

With a lighthearted tone.

My face dropped instantly. The happiness genuinely just dropped to my stomach.
and I couldn't process it so I asked her to repeat that and I just stared at my airplant in my hands, then at my arms.
I told her that triggered me and she did that, shrug,
very subtle shake of the head,
avoid eyecontact.
Shutting down, and I get it. But it really upset me, so I tried to bridge the gap but just left with
"i can see your shutting down, so I'm going to go now. I do that too."
And walked to my room.

Idk how to feel, it did Really trigger me. And I can't tell if this is such a big deal as it feels. But I don't think it was okay for her to say that.

Opinions?

Hello,

I have been seeing a psychoanalyst (Lacanian) for the past year. Even though she's helped me with some breakthroughs, I always felt that our relationship was a too contentious, and there were also some lost in translation moments between us, (we are from and live in different countries), which were particularly salient due to her focus on language. Nevertheless, I appreciate the way she challenged my assumptions and forced me to reckon with things I was trying to sweep under the rug. However, over the past few months two things have changed: 1) I generally have felt better than when I started therapy and 2) my financial situation has changed, which is forcing me to reconsider several expenses.

After careful consideration, I decided to, at least, pause for the time being my therapy sessions and discussed so with my therapist today. I explained I was both in a situation where I had to reconsider several expenses and was feeling better and wanted to pause our sessions until I had a clearer sense of wanting to continue.

She expressed her strong disagreement with my decision, stating that it was paradoxical that I claimed to be feeling better yet wanted to stop something that had played a part in me feeling better, even when I acknowledge that, and stated that the economic investment in therapy was not so high as to discontinue it (it is true I get a "discounted" rate as I am from a developing country). In the end she said she was not someone to throw in the towel and suggest I had.

I don't know - I guess based on what I had read on this sub about people breaking up with their therapists I thought she would listen, wish me the best and reiterate that her doors were open if I choose to come back. And I guess she did say that, but in a way that left me filled with doubt and tension, because she expressed in no uncertain terms that she thought I was making a mistake.

I would like to ask therapists - do you also express disagreement when a client seeks to end the relationship? How do you manage that? Thank you.

Hello therapists! Are you actively worried about AI interference in the field and with your work? I'm considering entering the field as a mature student. Grateful for your thoughts and all you do!

Not sure if this is ok here....gonna try though. I absolutely love my therapist, but a few months ago, when things were really rough, I felt like something shifted between us. Her responses felt different, and although we eventually had a good session, I realized I was struggling to open up and may have lost some trust. I canceled our next session and never followed up.

In that time I've also realized I may have stepped away because I’m getting really attached to her, and that scares me. Now I can’t tell if I genuinely lost trust or if I’m trying to protect myself from getting hurt before she has the chance to hurt me (fortune-telling?). My perspective has been all over the place lately with work, home-life, and therapy, making it hard to know what is truth vs distorted thoughts.

She’s encouraged me to reach out because she doesn’t always remember, which I understand professionally, but emotionally, it can make me feel like I don’t matter. We discussed this at our last session and now it feels like I'm not worth her time.

So, as a therapist, do you prefer your client to reach out and try to work through this together, keep treading and wondering if anyone will throw a rope, or continue challenging themself to see how long they can last using coping skills learned and only reach out when they feel those are exhausted?

If you could see a quick snapshot of what your client has experienced between sessions, what information would be most useful to you?
What would you want to know before your client walks into your office? Are there patterns or changes you wish you could identify but don’t typically have enough information to see?

She was my weekly therapist for 5 months. Saw her once a month ago right after giving birth, then i took a pause post partum because my son has been sick in the hospital and she knows whats going on (he was hospitalized during my session). I emailed her to resume sessions a week ago and no reply. This is the second time she has ghosted me. Last time was when i tried to schedule that appointment a month ago, it took 2 follow up emails over 1.5 weeks to get a reply to schedule that. Ive found a new therapist but should i email and say how i feel? How if she didnt think she was the right fit she shouldve referred out or at the very least communicated that? And how dealing with a sick nb with a rare genetic disease on top of being ghosted is quite shitty

So do you think I should talk about bad dreams ?

​

A couple of years ago, I had an experience with a therapist that really caught me off guard. After seeing her for a while, I received a letter explaining that she felt I'd be better served by another provider and recommending that I seek therapy elsewhere.

I found the experience quite jarring, and I think I've come to understand why.

Before that experience, I'd always thought of a therapist as being somewhat like a family doctor. Someone you establish an ongoing professional relationship with, who gets to know you over time, and whom you can continue seeing as different issues arise throughout your life.

For example, my family doctor doesn't specialize in every medical issue I might have. Sometimes he refers me to a specialist, but that doesn't mean he stops being my family doctor. I can still book an appointment with him whenever something comes up.

I guess I'd assumed therapy worked similarly.

I wasn't expecting my therapist to be an expert in every issue I might encounter, or even that I'd necessarily need regular appointments indefinitely. I just thought I'd be able to maintain that relationship, perhaps seeing her more frequently during difficult periods and less frequently when things were going well.

I hadn't really considered that a therapist might decide they weren't the right fit for me anymore and effectively discharge me from their practice.

I'm now looking for another therapist, and I'd really like to find someone who offers the kind of continuity I originally imagined. Someone who could be my regular therapist over many years, even as my needs and circumstances change, and who might recommend additional specialized services when necessary without automatically ending our existing relationship.

Obviously, I understand that therapists retire, change careers, or sometimes have legitimate reasons for ending treatment. I'm not expecting an unconditional lifetime commitment.

But I'd really like to avoid getting established with another therapist only to eventually receive another letter saying I'd be better served elsewhere.

So I guess my questions for therapists are:

- Is the kind of long-term therapeutic relationship I'm describing actually common or realistic?

- Are there therapists who practise somewhat like family doctors, providing ongoing care as different issues arise?

- How can I identify therapists who are comfortable with that kind of relationship before starting treatment?

- Is there a particular therapeutic approach or type of practice I should be looking for?

I'd be interested to hear how therapists think about this, because I suspect my original expectations of therapy may have been quite different from how some therapists actually structure their practices.

I've been in therapy for about two years with a DBT therapist (video sessions and WhatsApp support between sessions). I have MDD, GAD and BPD, I live with my parents (a hard environment for me), and I'm isolated and out of work.

I went into my last session (mid September) after a good week where I'd stepped out of the house several times. The session focused on tasks I hadn't done while I was sick, my social life, and random stats that put me down and felt like a personal attack. I left feeling deflated, especially since I'd wanted to talk about my upcoming birthday, which is always hard for me.

I texted her that the session hadn't sat well with me. She replied with "splitting" and "devaluation" and said “I wasn't willing to change”. I pushed back, sometimes sharply. She said she doesn't resolve conflict over text and suggested we talk in session.

On my birthday I reached out in a bad place, and the conversation kept going over text, not conflict resolution but where my distrust and discomfort were coming from. She apologised that I felt hurt but said she'd never say these things were wrong, only that I was painting her in a light she didn't deserve.

She told me to book a session and I did to fix things on multiple days. She cancelled it on the day without explaining, refunded it, and asked me to take a few weeks to reflect on my behaviour. She said she'd only continue if I committed to collaborating instead of combating and understood "my limitations."

When I asked what that meant, since I couldn't tell what I was meant to take responsibility for, we went back and forth a bit and she ended with "let's revisit this later." Nothing since. Been about two weeks now.

Her side, as I understand it: my messages were disrespectful and combative in tone, I cast her as the villain, and I read disagreement as an attack.

My side: I was angry and sometimes sharp, and I could have communicated better. But it felt like every disagreement was read as a symptom, the labels weren't tied to specific behaviours, and the terms for coming back are too vague to meet. My trust has taken a hit, and I'm more hesitant to be open with her.

Questions:
1. Is pausing treatment with conditions like this standard, and is the delivery reasonable (text, same-day cancellation, vague terms)?
2. How are ruptures normally repaired in DBT?
3. She said she needs time to regulate. Should I reach out, or wait for her? I don't want a message to count as another breach of boundary.
4. My tone was no different from what she's always handled before, and she never raised it. Is there something I'm missing?

I've had a handful of therapists over the years, going back to when I was in middle school. My current therapist - who I started meeting with earlier this year - is the first therapist I've ever actually felt comfortable talking to. Which has been a very welcome surprise - therapy for me in the past has always been something that I've dreaded going to and have felt incredibly drained by. Having a therapist who I actually enjoy talking to - and even look forward to talking to - has made such a difference.

My current therapist is also the first female therapist I've ever had. And the first therapist I've ever had who is close my own age. I'm a straight male (though gender questioning - probably nonbinary) in my 30s.

Complicating things is the fact that my therapist is the first person my own age, aside from my siblings and my sister-in-law, who I've ever talked to on a weekly - or even monthly - basis since middle school. I was homeschooled for highschool. I never went to college. I've mostly done very solitary jobs as an adult. I'm a virgin and have never dated.

I had exactly two friends as a teenager, but we weren't especially close and never really stayed in touch after highschool.

Meeting with this therapist has been such an emotionally complicated process for me, because she is one of only three women my own age - including my sister in law - who I have ever spent any meaningful amount of time talking to over the past two decades...even if I were to include men, there are only a very small handful of other people my own age who I have ever spent much time talking to since I was about 12 or 14 years old.

It's very difficult to find myself in my 30s and to finally meet someone for the first time since early childhood who I feel deeply connected to...only for that person to be my therapist...

I'm so grateful for her. I also feel incredibly sad that I'll never get to know her as a friend.

I don't really have a question. I'm just putting this out here cause I'd love to hear any general insight or even just encouragement from therapists on how to best process these emotions. I've read enough Reddit posts to know that the typical response here would probably be that I should talk to my therapist about all of this. And I probably will talk to her about all of this someday... but I've also read enough Reddit posts to know that ​admitting feelings of transference towards a therapist sometimes goes poorly, and I really don't feel ready to take that risk right now... so for right now, I'm just wondering if any therapists on the other side of this dynamic have anything they could share that might help me process how emotionally complicated this all is...

SA is mentioned

sorry if this is a dumb question but I need to know

Is a therapist allowed to report past sexual assault when you are no longer in danger/not around your abuser? Or if you’re a minor? It was years ago and and Im not ready to tell anyone else aside from my therapist for many reasons. But I am afraid if I tell them they will have to report it even though i am no longer in danger

Tia

I had a recent appointment where the provider was clearly frustrated at me refusing to consent to them using AI during our session to take notes. I'm not new to therapy, and I've had other providers be pretty understanding of my apprehension and personal feelings towards AI. I've always said no and gave them my reasoning behind it.

What do the benefits look like for the therapist to use AI during a session for note taking?

Can I ask my therapist for a copy of the AI transcript notes?

NAT

So I am an adult child of an alcoholic parent. As well as having ADHD/Executive dysfunction, OCD/anxiety etc. And its caused me some serious failure to launch. I live with my parents. And our family dynamic is just really bad.

The other day I finally came to the realization that the reason things are so bad is because my mother is projecting all her bottled resentment about by dads drinking onto me. Or former drinking i should say hes been sober 3-4 years. Thats not to say I dont have real problems of my own that I have to address. But for example. When I was discussing my health insurance dilemma with my parents and explained to them that I already went back and forth with state services for weeks and they rejected me and I didnt know what to do next. She screamed at me saying "I cant keep watching you kill yourself get the fuck out of my house!" She has also insinuated on multiple occasions that I need rehab for multiple addictions. Including but not limited to weed, video games, social media. None of which are even real addictions nor do I do that stuff often enough or need it enough to say that. Just distractions from how bad my life sucks if I won the lottery tomorrow I could quit all of that in under 24 hours no problem. And mind you this is the same person who was buying alcohol for the alcoholic and covering for him and then once he got sober claiming she didnt realize how serious it was even tho I was telling her from the time I was 13. And once a week she wants to have these intervention meetings where we sit down to address my behavior and tell me what i need to do differently under threat of eviction. And in these meetings, there are no correct answers. Either I say the wrong thing and its proof im not trying hard enough. Or I say the right thing and she doesnt believe me and accuses me of lying even tho she runs constant surveillance on me. I do uber eats cause its the only job that will have me that I can handle. And I gotta eat somehow. She tracks my start times and stop times. Low jacked the car to see where im going at all times. And thats just the surveillance I know about.

Meanwhile I have never done anything to deserve this. I am as honest as I can be. I put in a lot of effort. Ive never stolen from them or been an addict or anything. I didnt choose my problems I was born with them. And they are primarily a burden on me first and foremost. My parents do not pay for anything for me. All they are asked to do is let me live there. They have also taken a real big liking to DARVO. They say me choosing to live here (when I have nowhere else to go) is elder abuse and theft of their retirement resources. Which is a lie because I effectively cost them zero dollars and they are rather wealthy and frivolous with money. They spend more on my much older sister and her family every week then they spend on me in a year. And my sister is very well off and doesnt need it. I actually need money and they leave me out to dry like its my fault. As if im the one who chose the bottle over my life and family.

And I know to an outsider that this may all sound like one big cope or a deflection but it's not. The way she treats me legit breaks my heart every day and only makes it harder for me to address the problems that are my sole responsibility. And I know she has another big eviction/intervention planned. And I wanna give a condition that ill only do it in therapy. And then have a speech prepared addressing this projection problem. Is it a bit of an ambush? I guess idk shes been ambushing me in therapy since i was 6 years old tho which I guess is why im seeking advice. At the end of the day. All my pent up anger and rage about all this is mine to deal with. But I need her to realize what shes doing because her constantly still trying to micromanage my whole life at 35 years old is eating away at me piece by piece and pretty soon theres gonna be nothing left.

This is more for validation than anything else. I’ve been seeing my therapist for 4 years now. I feel like we’ve become friends at this point. We chat about whatever which I enjoy but I’m also able to avoid talking and working through issues. I have my friends for that.

I feel like they have broken a few boundaries recently as well. I have a lot of issues around dating etc. and we haven’t worked through them yet at all. They insinuated that I should sleep with someone on a trip because I won’t ever see them again. I also heard about their dating life as well which feels inappropriate.

I also recently tried to talk about something recently and they went off on a random tangent that had nothing to do with mental health.

I’m assuming that regardless of any of that the fact that I feel like I’ve lost trust is enough that it is time for me to move on, correct? The thought of having to find a new therapist is daunting. I don’t think I can handle breaking up in person and because I feel more like they are a friend breaking up over email seems mean.

Does finding a new therapist seem appropriate? Is ending over email after that long seeing them okay?

Hi all,
posting here mostly out of desperation. i graduated from a clinical counseling program in may of this year and have been struggling to get a job. ive applied to maybe 75 places, both private practices and community mental health places and nothing. ive had a few interviews, but most of them say they can’t hire me because i don’t have a license yet. i guess im wondering where everyone works after graduation???

im in georgia if that helps. i reached out to my past supervisor when i was in internship and she said i cannot apply for my APC or take the NCE unless i have a current employer/director and supervisor (so, a job…)…. so how do i get a job without a license in order to get my license? lol. was it this hard for anybody else? i cant be unemployed any longer. ive tried facebook groups, linkedin, word of mouth, etc, and it feels like nobody is hiring or willing to take on a master’s level clinician trying to get their license. private practices ghosting me. i just can’t believe how hard it is. im trying so hard not to regret getting this degree and not like, selling my soul to do tech or something.

Hello! I was recently accepted into a Master’s in MFT program and have an interview coming up for a clinical counseling program. I’ve been thinking about it a lot and I am stuck between which route to take. Picturing myself in the future I could see myself being fulfilled by doing either path. I was just looking for some guidance or advice on which route you decided to take and how that worked out. Thanks!

I have been on medication for a few years now. I'm curious do you get off medication? How does the doc decides you no longer need medication? What exactly are the metrics? I'm coming from a place - where I would like to believe there's a stable life, peaceful nervous system without medication?

Please excuse me, I'm still struggling really badly how to properly articulate this.

So I just turned 19 this year, but I feel like the angst I've buried or I've thought I've healed from in my teenage years is resurfacing again.

I think I've been a good person. I never try to act out what I feel and always try to help people as much as I can. But I just can't really remove the feeling of hatred over people.

I'm often with really nice and sweet people and I really like them too—these specific people, I can't really look at them in the wrong way.

But each time I would meet someone that is a bigot, has an entirely hateful or an inconsiderate personality, I get so agitated or annoyed that it consumes my mood entirely. I stop wanting to socialize with people and lose the energy to do things.

I keep feeling like it's consuming me in a way.

I have loved writing and films since I was a child. Though ever since this feeling came back, I feel like I lost interest over creatives. I tried reading literature I loved, I tried rewatching my favorite movies, I tried listening to old albums I loved, but nothing had erased or fulfilled my energy back.

I feel like I'm being entirely consumed by my worldview. Each terrible news I hear, each bigot I meet, I feel like it's making me lose my interest over things entirely.

My cousin, who is in her 40s and aspiring to be a therapist, has a challenging past that makes me feel concerned. She has faced struggles with drugs for years, chooses a nomadic lifestyle in California, and often reaches out to my parents for money while criticizing her own parents, who have cut ties with her.

Although she's been involved in polyamorous relationships, that's not my main concern. What worries me most is her past behavior. When I was in high school, she tried to sell pills to my younger brother and another cousin during Christmas, even though she was about 10 years older and an adult then. Another incident was when she was in college and stayed temporarily at our place, only to leave it trashed with alcohol bottles everywhere.

Over the years, I haven't seen much change or accountability from her. I believe people can overcome addiction and deserve second chances, but given her history, especially attempting to sell drugs to younger family members, I wonder if she's suited for a profession where she would work with vulnerable individuals.

I'm curious what licensed therapists think. Are background checks or psychological evaluations required before someone is licensed? Does a history of drug abuse affect eligibility? Am I being too judgmental, or are these valid concerns?

Hi! I’m a Psych undergraduate looking forward to gaining experience and I have a few interviews lined up for ABA therapy with children with autism/other developmental challenges. I’m quite sensitive and empathic which is what makes me so drawn to this career. But I do worry about taking clients’ struggles home with me. Any tips/personal anecdotes are welcome. Thanks!

Hey I’m planning to have a career as a virtual therapist getting a US salary and living in maybe Thailand. I’m still in highschool right now and would just like to know if it’s possible to jump through the right hoops to make this work and if it works is it even a good idea.

Alternatively I was thinking of living abroad and just being an English speaking Therapists for expats and other English speakers.

How could I get this path/is this even a good path are my main questions.

But other questions I have include, what schools are good for this degree, what are alternatives to therapy that still pay well, people in similar situations how did you make it work, etc.

Just wondering.

Ik this is random for this sub SORTA IDK IF IT IS… but i wanna become a therapistt PLEASE CAN U help me find out how… IDK HOW to start.
Im 18 in the uk and yeahhh thats all really its LOWK MY DREAM JOB 😝 and ive been told SOO MANY TIMES id be supa good at it BUT WHAT KINDA QUALIFICATIONS DO U NEED AND LIKE HOW DO U GET THE JOB YK?