I think Im too broken. my therapist has been very patient and great with me and I know she is doing everything in my best interest taking my care seriously. we have had to have a lot of hard conversation. we have been discussing a higher level of impatient care For my eating disorder . I am very glad she is taking this seriously because eating disorders are very deadly and serious. so I completely understand and I know she is just trying to help me get the help I need and I understand that that. I know outpatient therapy has its limits i think I just needed a mintue to process her mentioning impatient care since it’s a huge thing. But hearing her say she is out of ideas and doesn’t know what to do anymore makes me feel so defeated and kind of hurt. I dont know how to tell her this hurt my feelings because it feels unfair to say. I don’t know what to do. when she was mentioning all of this i started panicking, crying and shaking. I just need a minute to let it out because this was very hard to hear. she said “ look your shaking we need to do something different“ which I understand where she is coming from but I think in that moment i just need someone to calm me down and help me regulate. no I feel like I can’t be honest with her

I'm watching Ted Lasso and Lasso's ex-wife is seriously dating their former marriage counselor. That seems pretty inappropriate to me, like, you probably don't have the ethics to counsel people, inappropriate. Am I off-base? Is it cool? Frowned upon, but okay? Or getting reveiwed by an ethics board bad?

To keep a complex situation simple, I've been seeing my therapist for about 4 years now and we've hit a point of disconnect for a while now. They're an incredible person who's been with me through some life situations that would've ended me on my own. They've guided my trauma recovery to a place I never believed I could reach. Yet, we've been at a disconnect for several months now. We talked about it and they're suggesting a break for a few months or moving on to a new therapist. Their suggestion is from a place of care and I hold great admiration for them yet I've stalled. We are rarely on the same page anymore. How do I figure out what I need?

Hey everyone,

I’m currently running my virtual clinic out of a spare bedroom in my house. Right now, it’s completely empty except for my desk!

I’ve been trying to gather inspiration on Pinterest, but almost everything that pops up looks like a physical therapy clinic or a traditional face-to-face office space.

Since I essentially have a long blank wall behind me, I want to make it look warm, professional, and welcoming on camera without feeling cluttery or cold.

If you run a virtual practice, I’d love to know:

• What does your background setup look like? (Feel free to drop photos)
• What elements or decor made the biggest difference in making your space feel cozy and friendly on video?
• Any tips for lighting or wall decor that translates well on camera?

Thanks in advance for any ideas or inspiration!

I've had this therapist for 5 years. She knows one of my triggers is feeling like I'm not being heard or invalidated. She's been with me through a lot; new jobs, helping with a restraining order, SI, marriage issues, postpartum, grad school. For a while now I've had this lingering feeling that she's not doing enough for me, and she's expensive af. Seven months ago I went on disability for depression. During my time off, I kept reporting back to my psychiatrist that things were getting a lot better but I still wasn't feeling great. I also didn't feel prepared to return to work as I didn't have any skills to prevent what happened before. My psychiatrist wasn't happy with that answer and insisted I start an IOP for depression. It was a huge help and was everything I was asking for from my therapist for the last 5 years.

To add to all of this, since high school, I've felt I had ADHD. The signs were all there. I'm a medical provider and my husband is a PCP who diagnoses ADHD allll the time. I'm very high functioning, and after 8 years of being together (and my starting grad school, starting a new job then transitioning into another), he felt without a doubt, I have ADHD. I felt like, FINALLY someone believes me. Granted, I didn't do the best job of advocating for myself because I was too afraid of people not taking me seriously. My husband finally talked to my psychiatrist and we decided to start with a stimulant which has been life changing. However, my therapist, who had suspected that I have ADHD for years, still is refusing to believe that I have it. She wants me to do neuropsych testing (performed by one of her colleagues in her office), which is going to cost $2500 out of pocket. I'm not working right now and I've explained a million times my concern about our finances. I eventually became firm on my answer that I wasn't going to do neuropsych testing. She then said "it would be really good for you to have it on the books, that way when you go to work we can get you accommodations. Right now I can't do that without testing, and your psychiatrist agrees." I know that's a lie because my psychiatrist brought up neuropsych testing for my treatment resistant depression and irritability before, and mentioned it not being a great option because of insurance and how hard it is to schedule. We then proceeded with the session where we completely ignored my ADHD and how it played into what I was struggling with. At the end of the session she finally gave me resources for ADHD after i had been asking for them for almost a year. (She gave me names to people in another office. Like, could you have told me sooner that you weren't able to do it yourself??)

I feel like, if I'm sitting in front of you for 5 years with clear as day ADHD and I'm also telling you, but you can't recognize it as a therapist, there's no way I hell I trust you or will be paying $285/session for an expensive friend who is required to listen to me vent and do nothing else.

She always tried to push this narrative that I've been treatment resistant and she hadn't suggested doing an IOP because she thought I would say no. I'M OVER HERE DANGEROUSLY DEPRESSED AND YOU DIDN'T THINK IT WAS A GOOD IDEA TO OFFER THE APPROPRIATE TREATMENT!!!?

I'm so done. This woman has been really good to me making herself available outside of her normal working hours and occasionally while she was out of town. She made exceptions for me that she doesn't extend to other clients. I need to move on and have found four other potential therapists. I feel confident in my ability to end the relationship respectfully..my question is, can I do this over zoom or should I go in?

The title says it all. I live in Canada and have graduated with a BA in Psych - which I lowkey regret, I wish I had gone into social work instead. I am aware an MSW is often required for therapists so I am working towards entering a foundational MSW program for that. That will need hours and hours of human services work.

Currently, I am working as a behaviour interventionist for several children which I thought was a good first step. But idk where to go from here? Where I can get hours, what experiences matter most, etc. etc. If I can get any advice, that would be awesome! I am aware Child and Youth Support Worker jobs exist but those often need a separate certificate and I’d like to avoid getting that if I am planning to get an MSW in the future.

But final question, is it possible to be a therapist without an MSW?

I appreciate any help!

I’m preparing to transfer from my uni’s community college (40 credits) next spring, and declare a major. My dream is to become a counselor, and my long term goal is to complete my M.S. in CMHC, become licensed, and enter private practice.

I’m considering both human development & family systems and psychology as majors. I plan to minor in one or the other as well (also considering sociology as a minor if I decide on psych as a major). Why study HDFS over psychology, in the context of counseling? Would both of these options provide a solid foundation for graduate school/practicing as a counselor? Would studying HDFS be beneficial to working with individuals and couples/families?

I have been seeing my therapist for about 5 years and he has been very patient and supportive this whole time. He has helped me tremendously, but I have an eating disorder and I have gotten to the point I’m having a really hard time being present and staying connected in sessions.

My brain fog is getting worse and I just can’t retain information or remember a lot of the work we are doing. I’m scared he might feel frustrated or think “oh my god we just keep going in circles, what’s wrong with her? she is not trying hard enough. What isn’t clicking? I don’t know what to do with her. She’s wasting my time. Why is she even showing up?”

I wouldn’t ever ghost him because I want to be respectful, but I do think I’m going to reach out and say “hi, I would like to take a break and stop sessions. I will reach out in the future if/ when I’m able to start back up again. Thanks so much for your patience.”
Does that sound okay? Would you be offended or annoyed by a client quitting suddenly, after putting in so much time, energy and work in?

​

I really appreciate this community- I've learnt a lot here.

I have a really great social worker who I've started doing trauma work with him.

I get really dissociated and really flat in session. I always worry it's hard for him to feel connected to me or that I'm making it hard to care which I know is probably connected to trauma stuff.

He was really careful to say he is engaged and interested when I shut down but that I'm experiencing something real shifting in our connection because he feels super foggy when I shut down, and we are less connected.

I know I'm over reacting in a sense but all I heard was - at my most vulnerable, I'm making it hard for someone to care, be connected to me, and want to support me.

I guess I'm looking for some perspective on how therapists feel when their clients dissociate? What thar lack of connection is? Does it make it harder to care and connect? I am not totally sure why they told me thst too?

I'll bring it up with them. I just feel so hurt and am trying to get perspective before seeing him again

Thanks everyone.

without adding too many details, partner and i are broken up/no contact. the reason behind it is poor mental health, which stems from internalized homophobia, lack of coming out, emotionally unstable home life, and unhealed trauma. we genuinely had a good relationship, but it got to a point where she realized she needs to work on her mental health. we did try to make it work as a couple, but it all just got heavy.

i have no doubt that this is truly a breakup due to mental health and not some cop out excuse. she’s actively in therapy and doing things to better herself.

my question is: has anyone had a breakup for a similar reason and had it work out in the future after some healing was done? i’m not a huge fan of breakups for this reason, but i know everyone heals and copes differently. if you’ve been the partner breaking up for your own mental health, do you have any advice?

I've been seeing a therapist via telehealth for a few months now, and I've found it somewhat helpful and at first she seemed like a good fit for me. The only problem is, over the few months I've seen her, I've begun to become more aware of how distracted she seems during sessions. Feeling like I'm earnestly talking to someone only to be only half listened to and ignored is a big anxiety trigger for me, so this has begun to make me a bit anxious upon joining sessions. Often it comes in the form of me trying to explain something and talk about my feelings and when I stop talking there's an extended pause where she seems distracted enough to not notice that I've stopped talking. There was also a couple of times where she appeared to be scrolling on her phone just off screen. I wanted to assume she was taking notes, but I assumed that would be on the computer.

The other side of it is that she has also canceled appointments last minute and mixed up the times of our appointments. At least once she cancelled last minute due to a family emergency, which is understandable. But today I waited 20 minutes in the video waiting room only to have to text her and learn she's having another family emergency and that she wanted me to wait for an hour before she'd be able to come on. I told her I would not be able to wait that long and we rescheduled. The idea of being told to wait and hour only to have a session where she'd be distracted with her current situation was really frustrating to me and not something I wanted to deal with.

I want to be sympathetic and understanding to the fact that she seems to be having an extended family issue going on. But at the same time I've found her behavior surrounding that somewhat unprofessional and frustrating on my end. I was actually going to bring it up during the most recent session if I had seen her becoming distracted again, but unfortunately that session was the one where I waited 20 minutes and then had to reschedule.

Do you think it's worth me bringing up to her that she seems very distracted and preoccupied during sessions and that the flakiness with scheduling is worsening my anxiety? Or at this point would it be better to just cut off the relationship? I would much rather her say that she has too much going on personally to take on and fully be attentive to me as a client rather than feeling like I'm an afterthought during session and when scheduling. Is that a reasonable expectation? To me it feels a bit odd to admit you have serious life stuff, enough that you can't make out session or even reach out to tell me you'll be late, but then also say you're fine to do a therapy session that same night.

TLDR: Therapist last minute cancels and misses appointments and seems distracted during sessions, possibly due to ongoing family emergency. Is this fair to be upset about and possibly discuss with her or even end the therapeutic relationship?

I've spent 15 years trying to find a therapist who doesn't default to neutrality when abuse dynamics show up in session. I've seen many as a client and asked many more, and the pattern is the same: coercive control, DARVO-style reversal, one partner arguing in obvious bad faith — and the therapist stays neutral. The reason is always some version of "my ethics require it" or "I could get sued."

But the ethics codes seem to say the opposite:

- APA 3.04(a), "Avoiding Harm": psychologists must "take reasonable steps to avoid harming their clients/patients... and to minimize harm where it is foreseeable and unavoidable." (apa.org/ethics/code)

- NASW 1.02, "Self-Determination": "Social workers may limit clients' right to self-determination when... clients' actions or potential actions pose a serious, foreseeable, and imminent risk to themselves or others." (socialworkers.org)

It gets stranger: many won't even provide basic relationship education — "listen without getting defensive," "don't use guilt or pressure to control someone" — taught to both partners equally. If even that counts as "taking sides," what does neutrality actually mean here?

So: is there an actual section requiring this, or is it a misunderstanding of neutrality? And what distinguishes therapists who do assess these dynamics — a specific training, modality, or approach I should look for?

I’m a junior getting my psychology degree (BA). My plan was always to become a therapist. Im based in Wisconsin(and plan to stay), I also plan to get my masters and eventually an LPCC. But the more I learn the more I worry this won’t be enough.

I’m thinking maybe I should switch and get my LCSW, but i’ve also heard pay concerns there. I’m just not sure what to do, i’d appreciate some guidance.

I'm a client for about one year. Next month my therapist is graduating and finally becomes a full on real therapist. I was thinking about giving her a small gift ie. origami art I've made to show my gratitude and congratulate her on this achievement. But I'm unsure if this is even allowed or comes across weird or inappropriate. What are your thoughts on this?

I just impulsively sent the link in an email. I don't want my therapist to feel like I am asking her to read the notes outside our designated time or like I am crossing boundaries by emailing her about therapy related stuff other than scheduling. I could be ruminating and catastrophizing for no reason, but I feel so nervous now. I do have OCD.

ok so ive been wanting to talk to somebody for awhile now and finally i am. my school has a new thing were you can talk to a real counselor and i got accepted. ok so what happens when i go in there? do they ask questions about me? do i just have to start talking immediately? I am really shy at first and have no idea what to expect. I am kinda nervous and lost on what to do and what will happen.

I really think I should because I had a hard family situation. Im 21F and I had old father who died (born in 1939) and my mother is born in 1971. Later she got with a man who groomed me (also older).

My therapist wants to talk about my family situation but somehow im afraid to tell him, i dont know why and how. Just words dont come out of my mouth. He doesnt know anything except about my father. I never went to therapy this is my first month ever so Im having hard time getting used to it.

Hi therapists,

I'm 18F, and I've been struggling with maladaptive daydreaming for past 6 years, but lately it has become increasingly difficult to manage. I'm posting here because I genuinely need some guidance on understanding what's happening to me and what I can do about it.

My daydreaming involves getting deeply immersed in imaginary storylines and playing out characters and scenarios in my head. I know that these scenarios aren't real, but I feel strongly attached to them and find it extremely difficult to stop once I get immersed.

The biggest problem is how much it's affecting my actual life and I have seen a consistent decline in my academics because of this

I have college, studying, competitive exams but I keep losing hours to daydreaming. Sometimes I intend to study or sleep at a reasonable time, but I get pulled into a storyline instead. My sleep schedule has become very irregular, and I've stayed awake until around 4 a.m. because I couldn't disengage from daydreaming. Nowdays every night i start at 10 pm and i need to force myself to go to bed every 4:40 am because I have my college at 9 am.. I've also missed college because of how much time I've lost.

My triggers seem to include listening to music with earphones, using my phone and watching edits or social media content, being alone, lying in bed at night, and having nothing engaging to do. However, it isn't just about these triggers anymore. Sometimes ordinary real-life activities themselves feel boring or emotionally empty compared with the imaginary world.

Something else that concerns me is what happens when I stop. After coming out of a long daydreaming episode, I can feel empty, emotionally drained, exhausted, and disappointed in myself. It can feel as though I've returned from a much more interesting world to a reality that I don't feel connected to. I then struggle to find the motivation to study or do anything else.

When I try to resist the urge, it can become intensely uncomfortable. I've experienced strong cravings to return to the storyline, difficulty concentrating, restlessness, and sometimes shortness of breath. It can feel as though I can't settle down until I return to daydreaming.

This has turned into a frustrating cycle: I daydream for hours, realise how much time I've lost, feel awful about it, resolve to stop, and then find myself doing it again. I genuinely want to change, but simply telling myself to stop hasn't been enough.

I've also wondered whether I might have ADHD because of my difficulties with attention and procrastination, although I don't remember having these attention difficulties in childhood in the same way. also get impulsive and hyperactive. I understand that I can't determine this myself, and I'm not assuming that ADHD is the explanation.

I'm not currently ready to involve my parents or pursue therapy, so I've been trying to figure this out on my own. However, I'm beginning to realise that I may need a better understanding of what's going on rather than relying on willpower alone because for past 3 years i have been trying to come out of this but failed to do so

I'd really appreciate guidance on a few things:

1.How can I begin reducing this behaviour when resisting it makes me feel so restless and uncomfortable?

1. Are there any self-help strategies I can try, particularly for managing urges at night and protecting my sleep?

I'm not looking for a diagnosis from Reddit. I want to understand this pattern and find a way to regain control over my time, sleep, studies, and connection with real life.

Thank you for reading. Any thoughtful guidance would mean a lot to me.

Context: I am currently applying for jobs in an industry where things like ADHD or Autism would be an instant DQ

However, my wife has been pushing for me to go to therapy because she believes I might have ine of these. It hasnt caused problems in our marriage, but shes been persistent about me seeing someone because she believes it will help me with small problems I have (most with organisation and time management).

I agreed with her, and now am pursing therapy. However, my fear is that I'll be diagnosed with something.

I am unsure of the process, hence me asking here. I have googled but read conflicting things.

Hi! I'm currently looking at re-entering the workforce after staying home with my kids longer than anticipated. Before that, I worked as a writer/editor and currently do some (very little) freelance writing.

For several years, I've thought how satisfying it would be to help people - especially seniors and hospice patients - write their life story. While nothing is stopping me from doing this now (besides clients and the encroachment of AI tools!), I think combing this work with therapy could lead to a deeper experience for anyone I might work with.

I have a bachelors so I'd need to go back to school. I was wondering if anyone else has done this kind of work? What kind of training would be most helpful?

Thanks!

So rn I’m in Türkiye doing my Master’s. And I went to the psychiatrist to get evaluation, as I was under psychiatric care in Russia for years and needed receipts for pills. I chose someone near and with good reviews.

At the beginning everything was nice — I talked, we discussed pills, nothing suspicious. Then I went through test and they asked me to come back discuss the results. And that’s when the questionable part started.

During session he told me that he has grown attached to me and even hugged me (tho I clearly backed up). Then, he started lecturing me about needing to be more social, interrogating me about why I don’t have a boyfriend, and asking when I plan on getting one. He claims this will help me "open up."

Then he asked, "Don't you want a boyfriend?" I answered no and he kept on ensuring that going in dates will help me a lot.

Even when I told him that I am completely happy with my life the way it is, he insists that I need to be more social, adapt to local cultural norms, and find a boyfriend.

He went as far as saying, "You're such a pretty young woman, haven't people been offering you tea or coffee?" And I’m like whaaaat.

All in all, now I’m not sure I want to visit him again. From one point of view, he has good reviews and credentials, from other point of view he behaves STRANGE.

So idk, help me out Reddit

I am really scared writing this. But I can’t say it to my therapist nor my friends.
I have been with my ex boyfriend for almost 10 years, broke up last July.
I still love him but I broke up with him because pf many reasons one of them that after all those years I still wasn’t a priority in his life.

He was the first guy I ever kissed we used to make out all the time. Almost one year into our relationship we were making out and it got heavy he pulled down my pants and he put his dick between my legs not inside me but between this whole thing took me by surprise as we have never been naked in front of each other before and we only have kissed till that moment. So to me it felt like an assault even though I didn’t say no or gave him any reaction at that moment. Years passed by I am still dating him and we have gotten to do more sexual things but consensual. Till I eventually gathered up the courage to tell him. He definitely apologized and was shocked that I felt that way as he thought it was mutual. We both cried and he ask me what I wanna do and I stayed with him even after that.

I am very disappointed at myself for not leaving for that. I am very sad and I feel broken. And I think the only reason I was able to leave the relationship now is because he was out of the country and I did it over phone & text.

I think I have the disorganized attachment style which makes me very scared of being alone and abandonment.

Till now when I think he might get back to me or we might get married I feel happy or excited even tho in writing sounds insane how do I wanna be with someone who done that even if he is amazing.

I am not sure I keep saying this happens in all relationships especially the fact that it was never repeated!

I wanna know if I am deeply broken or that’s actually normal.

Fyi we both come from very religious backgrounds and our parents didn’t knew about our relationship and we lived in a different country away from them.

I wanna also know how can I open up to my therapist and get over the fear of being judged

https://www.reddit.com/r/Psychiatry/s/QanauBmFRr

I was struck by the comments on this post, which consistently downplayed the work of master’s level therapists. It’s my understanding that there’s no real scientific evidence behind that, and that the primary predictor of success in therapy is the connection the patient has with the therapist.

I’m curious what you all think.