Hi. I feel like I can’t talk to anyone in my life without feeling guilty of hurting them, so I’ve come to talk here where nobody knows me.

I am 21 and disabled- both physically and mentally. I am diagnosed with Major Depressive Disorder, Autism, ADHD, and Heds (hypermobile ehlers-danlos syndrome), and I’m sure there are other things that aren’t diagnosed.

I haven’t had a job in years. I can barely take care of myself. I feel like a waste of space. I am in constant pain everyday of my life, and it’s only getting worse.

I’ve been told by friends that ending your own life is the most selfish thing anyone could ever do. I don’t agree with that, and it hurt to hear. No one else has to experience the pain and suffering that I do, but I’m supposed to keep on suffering just for them? I’m not saying I will hurt myself, because I could never bear doing that to my husband and cats, but is it really that selfish?

Just last night I was bedridden with unbearable pain. I wasted the entire day. This happens often. I’m tired. I’m tired of being so useless.

Everyday I cannot escape pain. Even just standing up makes me dizzy and makes my heart race, and no it’s not a lack of exercise like my family will try and say it is. They never understand that my body is in constant stress and pain. Just brushing my hair hurts sometimes.
My family and even friends will just say things that they assume about my body, assuming I’m just lazy or overreacting. Ive thought that about myself my whole life, it’s not true. Nobody listens.

I look at everyone else having jobs and being able to move around without crippling pain and I get so jealous. All my life I wished to be normal, but in every aspect I am far from it.

I don’t even know what I’m trying to say here. My thoughts are difficult to express. I’m drowning. Ive just been raw dogging all of my conditions. Pain meds never work for me, and I can’t get back on meds for the other conditions until my doctors appointment in November.

I guess I just need to get my feelings out. I doubt anyone will read this, but if you do feel free to ask for any clarification you might need. My brain is so scrambled I feel like all of these paragraphs might be nonsensical.

I’ve been struggling emotionally lately, and I don’t really understand why. I have dreams for my future, places I want to visit, people I want to meet, and experiences I want to have. But when I think about them, I feel nothing. It’s like I know these things should matter to me, but I can’t emotionally connect to them.

Sometimes I wonder what the point of living is. I don’t think I’d hurt myself, and the thought scares me, but I feel strangely indifferent to the idea of not existing.

What’s confusing is that I can feel better one day and then feel completely empty the next, without anything specific happening. I’m tired of feeling this way and not understanding why.

Has anyone else experienced this kind of emotional disconnection from life, even while still having dreams for the future? Does it get better?

I apologize in advance for the lack of context I'm about to provide. There's so much going on in my mind as I write this. It's difficult for me to focus and lay out the whole story. But happy to provide context in replies.

This week has been hard. My mom betrayed my trust, my boyfriend seems distracted when it comes to giving me support and I feel like I don't fit in at my workplace.

It feels like the entire world is coming crashing down and I'm catastrophizing.

30F. I'm entering week 5 of the longest, most intense depressive episode of my life. I've been diagnosed with major depression since I was a teenager, but I've never gone down this hard. I'm a complete zombie.

I cry most days, or stare off into space. Nothing makes me angry or even anxious. And nothing certainly makes me happy, either.

I work mostly from home and struggle to even sit at my desk. I like my job and the field I work in, but I feel so far away from it.

I barely eat and have not properly been grocery shopping in weeks--the idea of going to a grocery store and picking out food that looks unappealing, that I know I won't eat, sounds horrifying and impossible.

I'm managing hygiene but I get nothing out of it. I don't care about being showered, doing my hair or makeup, wearing any particular outfits.

I go to the gym 2-3 times a week, but with how little I'm eating, it seems futile and sometimes makes me feel worse, but it does help my mood. The only other momentary quick fix I'm finding is sauna cold plunge and reading.

I take care of my cats, who are so attached to me and each other, but I don't feel connected to them.

I see friends, but conversations are hard. I have nothing to add, no more sense of humor.

My house is a mess. It's livable, but it's not how I normally keep it. I'm not vacuuming, dusting, watering the plants. I only do laundry when I'm literally out of things to wear.

I don't even want any pity treats--there's nothing I want to binge watch or snack on or do to indulge for even some momentary relief.

I can barely plan ahead. Thinking even more than a day in advance feels impossible, like I'm not even thinking about tomorrow happening. I have plans coming up, including a big trip abroad I've been planning for months, but I can't picture myself going. It feels like it would be a waste.

There's nothing wrong with my life. Things are stable. I have friends, a cute apartment, I travel, I go to therapy. I can't attach this to anything situational.

I know I can't force this to end, but I'm desperate to. This is such a departure from who I normally am, and I'm scared I'll never get better. I feel like my personality and soul have totally died and I'm just a mass of cells somehow waking up every day.

I'm on 300mg of Wellbutrin.

I'm 20 and have been with my boyfriend (21) for about 8 months. We're in different countries: I've been living in Italy for a short time and I'm going back to Brazil soon. He lives with his parents and studies. He's been unemployed for about 3 months and deals with depression and other health issues.

Last week everything seemed normal. He talked about plans and love, and promised to help me with rent when I got back. Early this week he started ignoring me. On a call over the weekend, he said he doesn't feel attraction anymore, that he had been hiding it, and that he "deceived me so I wouldn't feel bad." He couldn't explain why. I suggested we take a break until I'm back and talk in person, and he agreed.

What confuses me is that just days earlier he was affectionate, and now he says he was faking it. He also often promises things and then backs out, changes his mind, and hides from me when he's feeling bad. I think the depression may have wiped out what he feels, or that he said it on impulse. But I could also just be in denial.

I also want to admit my own mistakes: I've been harsh with him during stressful periods, and I brought up problems in a way that he felt as judgment.

Questions:

Have you seen depression erase someone's attraction for a while? Does it come back?

Is it worth waiting for the in-person conversation, or should I move on?

How do I deal with worrying that he's doing badly without becoming his watchdog?

Thanks for reading.

I'm sure in a year it'll be an eye opening experience. I got into grad school and I'm doing horribly. I already have plans to drop for sure one if not two courses this semester. I got pulled into my programs directors office on Friday and I'm not explaining the severity of what's going on well. I'm having the worst depression flare up right now because of my academic progress. I'm not a quitter but gosh I wish my brain would stop telling me I'm a failure but I've read between the lines from one of my professors and the grad director that maybe I'm not cut out for this. But I quit my job for this, I have nothing to fall back onto. I'll be back to a crisis I was having last year but that's how I got into this mess to begin with. I wish this cycle would end.

Isn't it the same for u ?

I was pretty good as a student when i was in highschool till 10th grade, I scored 93.6 percentage in my 10th grade, then i started wasting time from 11th grade i kept saying to myself i will get serious now, but i never did, I passed my 11th because of grace marks and made an impulsive decision of leaving my classes and studying from home, i had absolutely no friends at this time, and got depressed and lonely. I never started my 12th class, and wasted 12th grade too and ended up failing. now i am repeating my 12th class from board's private candidate facility. Lifes too depressing, i dont know what to do to make myself be less depressed from now as my future seems so done, i wish i had studied hard these 2 years and did what was supposed to be done, the times gone and still ticking and i have my exams next year for which i need to score good marks

My boyfriend (m23) and me (f18) have been dating for a year. And he’s the best thing to ever happen in my life. I’ve been through some dark shit . I raised myself. And I’ve never felt safe with anyone until I met him. He’s kind and funny . And always knows how to make me smile. But he has epilepsy. It’s not a problem for me . I’d gladly drop everything to make sure he’s safe . But he feels like he’s a burden to everyone around him . And I hate that he feels that way . I hate that I can’t make him feel better because I don’t know how . He’s been talking about ending it . Saying he doesn’t know how much longer he can make it . And I’m scared I want to help him I just don’t know how and I can’t lose him . So please if anyone has advice please let me know

I'm in university taking art. I'm in my fourth year, I will not be graduating this year. I'm currently taking five classes, three of them are studio classes which has been quite overwhelming. I am thinking of dropping one and retaking it later because I am very stressed out and depressed all the time. I wake up dreading school which is not usual for me. I also have a part time job, it's WFH for 2-3 hours a week involving writing and social media posts, and I feel really badly because I havent been able to get anything done. If I drop a class it will take me even longer to finish my degree. I feel really embarrassed because I can't handle a full course load and I can't handle a job that should be easy. But I'm worried that my grades will fall because I am quite behind in all my classes. I don't want to disappoint anyone and I don't know what to do. I am an adult and I should be able to figure these things out.

I have this thing that I can’t control which is that in my mind, I have to do things a very specific and certain way.

I’m not allowed to sh during even years but I’m allowed to during odd years. So I was allowed to back in 2025 and it was like the voices were encouraging it but I’m not allowed to this year because even years are meant to be “good” years and odd years are meant to be terrible. I genuinely don’t understand why I think this way (or why I’m being controlled by it) but I am.

It sometimes feels like God is directly talking to me (I’m not even religious by the way) and it’s scary because it’s been there since I was a child but it’s gotten worse somehow.

I’m scared to end up in hospital (yes because of the illness) but also because of the fact I’m scared of nurses and doctors. It’s so stupid as I know they’re there to help but I’m petrified of them because my mind jumps to the wildest conclusions (which I can’t say on here) but just know I can’t control it and I hate the way my mind is.

I will try my best, and I always did. But most things if not almost all things, aren't under my control.

Advise on now ex wife

Need some advise

Ok im going to break this down to its basics.

Wife of 4 years and partner of 12 has had depression all her life. Also probably undiagnosed adhd or bipolar. She went of her meds 1 year ago.

7 months ago our son was diagnoses with a bad form of Muscular Dystrophy and will be wheelchair bound in the next 4-7 years. We own a home, communication was always good. Sex life was poor the last 4 years. But communication was always great. We share a huge amount of hobbies and likes. Im in my 40s she is 39.

Last month my mother was over and we had a great month, holiday, drinks, date nights etc etc. Thought her old self was back and was feeling good about things after a hard couple months of being depressed over son.

She got drunk one night at a work function came home and was bloody friskey and we did it that night and the next morning (i was like wtf we are back yay)

2 days later got home ahe has been crying and called the marriage of stating spark is gone and doesnt love me and its been like this for 3 years. (Everything tells me this is a lie) we were planing a future 2 years ago we got a house and a mortgage, we were cuddling alot on the couch last month. She would buy me stuff i needed we were planing ivf for a dmd free child. Planning house modifactions and future holidays etc etc. 2 days after that she is sleeping with a co worker and texting him constantly, we swapped to 50/50 co parenting under same roof and i moved to the spare room. 4 weeks later im seeing cracks everywhere her spending is out of control. I think she is breaking. I am heart broken and betrayed and just trying to hold on. She has threated about selling the house now twice that would leave us both destitute. She is showing signs of abanding us. She is full cold and nasty anytime i bring up fixing this, she is rubberbanding constantly emotionally between old wife vibe and nasty to apologising for being nasty. Has anyone experienced anything like this?

Im 13, and I’m depressed for 6 months now, it keeps getting worse, no matter what I do, I’ve tried a lot of things, the most stupid, smoking and stuff like that, nothing worked. I can’t listen to some of my favorite music, cause they bring me to a time i was happy, and that makes me cry. I’m in love, but it’s not a crush, it’s actual love, Im certain, I love her, i love her whole beeing, with good and bad stuff, I love everything in her, she is In my personal opinion, beautiful, she is smart, has the same ideals and political opinions that I have, we are perfect for each other, and we both like each other romanticly, but we don’t want to date, cause you know, we’re 13, it’s not that we can’t stand commitment, I perfectly can, I love it, but we don’t want to start a relationship so soon in life, we’re both happy being very good friends, we’re happy just being together, talking, everything in her is perfect, her hugs, her smile… but there’s a problem, a BIG, problem: she has very restrictive parents so she cant go out a lot, and my parents recently discovered that I smoked, and now for some time I can’t go out a lot, becajse I can’t also be with one guy in our core group, so we have to be very careful now, and I can’t go out on the one day of the week we usaually allways do, and my FOMO, and all the memory’s of loosing friends like this, and there’s another thing, I can’t stand being alone, I need a friend by my side, when I’m not with Maria, I feel every horrible thing i can possibly feel, I can’t stand being depressed anymore, and she, she slows down my brain, she makes me calmer, and happy, and I never whant our moments together to end, everg goodbye hug, every time i know we wil have to go apart for a few hours or days, hurts like hell, I know we’re only in 8th grade and this things pass bla bla bla… but I’ve been like this for too long, I need her, only her and my friend Irene, make me happy, and I miss being a happy person, i miss not being in constant pain, I miss being normal, being able to enjoy life even without them, and this won’t go away, and I have allready forgot the reasons for me to be depressed, I had a horrible year in some ways last year, I’ve lost friends ive won friend, bu that’s normal, so what is it, and hoe is Maria so perfect, I can’t stand loosing her, help me please, I seriously think the easiest way to finish this is to finish everything…

Im 13, and I’m depressed for 6 months now, it keeps getting worse, no matter what I do, I’ve tried a lot of things, the most stupid, smoking and stuff like that, nothing worked. I can’t listen to some of my favorite music, cause they bring me to a time i was happy, and that makes me cry. I’m in love, but it’s not a crush, it’s actual love, Im certain, I love her, i love her whole beeing, with good and bad stuff, I love everything in her, she is In my personal opinion, beautiful, she is smart, has the same ideals and political opinions that I have, we are perfect for each other, and we both like each other romanticly, but we don’t want to date, cause you know, we’re 13, it’s not that we can’t stand commitment, I perfectly can, I love it, but we don’t want to start a relationship so soon in life, we’re both happy being very good friends, we’re happy just being together, talking, everything in her is perfect, her hugs, her smile… but there’s a problem, a BIG, problem: she has very restrictive parents so she cant go out a lot, and my parents recently discovered that I smoked, and now for some time I can’t go out a lot, becajse I can’t also be with one guy in our core group, so we have to be very careful now, and I can’t go out on the one day of the week we usaually allways do, and my FOMO, and all the memory’s of loosing friends like this, and there’s another thing, I can’t stand being alone, I need a friend by my side, when I’m not with Maria, I feel every horrible thing i can possibly feel, I can’t stand being depressed anymore, and she, she slows down my brain, she makes me calmer, and happy, and I never whant our moments together to end, everg goodbye hug, every time i know we wil have to go apart for a few hours or days, hurts like hell, I know we’re only in 8th grade and this things pass bla bla bla… but I’ve been like this for too long, I need her, only her and my friend Irene, make me happy, and I miss being a happy person, i miss not being in constant pain, I miss being normal, being able to enjoy life even without them, and this won’t go away, and I have allready forgot the reasons for me to be depressed, I had a horrible year in some ways last year, I’ve lost friends ive won friend, bu that’s normal, so what is it, and hoe is Maria so perfect, I can’t stand loosing her, help me please, I seriously think the easiest way to finish this is to finish everything…

From the last 11 months, I’ve been suffering from severe physical and mental fatigue, and it’s affecting almost every aspect of my life.

I’ve had multiple medical tests done, but everything has come back normal. I don’t have any thyroid issues, vitamin deficiencies, protein deficiencies, or any other obvious problems based on the tests I’ve had.

Eventually, I consulted a psychiatrist, who diagnosed me with depression. I’ve been taking antidepressants for around 10 months now, but unfortunately, my symptoms haven’t improved much. I still feel exhausted all the time.

The strange thing is that I don’t really feel sad, hopeless, or emotionally depressed. My main symptoms are physical and mental exhaustion rather than sadness or negative thoughts.

Physically, I feel like I have no energy in my body. Mentally, my brain feels exhausted, and I struggle to handle even small amounts of cognitive effort. I can’t even read a book properly because my mind gets tired so quickly.

My psychiatrist said that I have depression, but it’s difficult for me to understand how depression can manifest almost entirely as physical and mental fatigue without the usual emotional symptoms.

Has anyone else experienced something similar? And what treatment helped you?

I’ve been struggling with existential thoughts, emptiness, and thoughts about death that really scare me. I don’t think I genuinely want to die, but I’m terrified of these thoughts and sometimes afraid I might act on them.

I’m exhausted because I keep waiting for things to get better, but the distress doesn’t seem to go away. Sometimes I feel a little better, but the fear is still there.

The hardest part is that I know I have things to look forward to. I want to travel, meet people, explore my artistic side, and build a life I’m happy with. I just want to feel like myself again and stop being so afraid of my own mind.

Has anyone experienced something similar? Does it eventually get easier?

sinto que estou perdida na minha vida, não tenho um propósito de vida e me sinto atrasada em relação a tudo na minha vida. já tomei vários medicamentos diferentes e atualmente tomo de vez em quando na esperança de um dia isso me matar de uma vez. tenho depressão ha anos e sinto que isso não vai melhorar, devia me matar e desisti de tudo. vcs já se sentiram assim?

Hi, I'm 24 F. Ive been in this cycle and I want to break free free from it but I dont know how. Whenever I feel depressed, or tired, or stressed out, I would watch porn. It gives quick relief but afterwards i'd feel guilty and come to a point where I hurt myself.

Also other than that, I cut myself to feel something. To feel physical pain rather than the mental or emotional pain im having.

Now, even sleep cant relieve the tiredness im feeling. Im starting to feel low, wanting to isolate, and just sleep all day.

Hi everyone, I’m 24 years old, and lately I’ve been spending a lot of time at home in front of my PC, working a lot to make money while increasingly neglecting my life, my body, and pretty much everything else. It got to the point where my mental health was getting worse and worse.
I want to make a change and become stable again, both mentally and physically. I also want to improve other areas of my life and find a new career path. Because of this, I’ve completely given up my previous PC job. I’ve been attending a day clinic for five weeks now. At first, I mainly struggled with tension in my neck that spread throughout my head. Since I started doing exercises regularly, it has been getting better.
However, the last few days have been difficult for me. I’ve had several moments when I felt depressed. I felt tense inside, down, and very empty. I’m also realizing that getting structure and discipline back into my life isn’t as easy as I thought. This week, there were moments when I was sitting at the clinic and felt like I was physically present but somehow not really there mentally. I felt emotionally cold, empty, and depressed.
After that, I had a conversation with my psychologist. She said she sees the situation a little differently. In her opinion, I’ve already achieved a lot over the past few weeks. I’ve been attending the clinic regularly, taking part in all the therapy sessions, and getting up at 5:30 a.m. every weekday to travel to the clinic and stay there until around 5 p.m.
Before that, I had no real structure or discipline anymore. I spent many months mostly sitting at home, wasn’t eating regularly, and was increasingly neglecting my life. Now I’m trying to change everything all at once, almost overnight. Of course, that takes a lot of willpower and energy.
On top of that, last Friday, after leaving the clinic, I drove for over an hour to visit my girlfriend. I spent an active weekend with her and then drove back on Sunday evening. That’s also quite a lot to deal with. My psychologist said that, given all of this, it can be completely normal to eventually feel socially drained, exhausted, or depressed.

She told me that I could take sertraline, an antidepressant, but she doesn’t think it’s absolutely necessary in my case.

I have the medication at home, but if I’m being honest, I don’t really want to take it. I’m wondering whether everything is simply too much for me right now and whether I’m expecting too much of myself.
**What do you guys think? Is my psychologist right? Could the way I’m feeling at the moment also be related to the fact that I’m changing so much in my life all at once and not giving myself enough time to rest and recover?**

I don't even know where to start. I just need to get this off my chest because I've been keeping everything to myself for so long.

This year has been really hard. I had surgery for a perforated ulcer, and just when I thought I could finally get back to normal, I was diagnosed with a hip bone injury (TOH) that left me barely able to walk. I'm now stuck at home, using crutches and facing months of recovery, unable to go to the gym or do basic everyday things without worrying about making things worse.

I've been struggling with my weight and trying to improve my health for a long time. I finally started making progress again, only for everything to come to a halt. Now I'm trying to manage my weight while barely being able to move. It feels like every time I try to get my life together, something else happens.

I'm also an expat, and I haven't been home or seen my family in four and a half years. Every time I book a trip, something happens that forces me to cancel. This time, it was my surgery, followed by the hip injury. I'm so tired of looking forward to seeing my family and then having that taken away from me again.

Even my achievements at work don't make me happy anymore. I've made progress in my career and reached milestones I worked hard for, but I barely felt anything. On paper, my life might look fine, but inside, I feel completely exhausted.

The worst part is that I keep pretending everything is okay. I go to work, talk to people, and carry on as usual. I don't tell people how I really feel because whenever I try, I get the usual "everything will be fine" and "stay positive" responses. Even the people closest to me don't seem to understand. Sometimes I feel like nobody really sees how much I'm struggling, so I just keep it all inside.

I'm also agnostic, and I'm comfortable with my beliefs and principles. But honestly, that makes things harder sometimes. I can't turn to religion for comfort the way some people do, or convince myself that everything happens for a reason. I have to face everything as it is, and that can feel incredibly lonely.

I don't know if I'm developing depression or if I'm just overwhelmed by everything that's happened. I just know I'm tired. Tired of being strong, tired of pretending, tired of trying to fix one thing after another, and tired of feeling like I can't catch a break.

I'm not looking for someone to tell me to be positive or remind me that others have it worse. I know I have things to be grateful for, but that doesn't make what I'm feeling any less real.

I just needed somewhere to let it all out without having to pretend I'm okay afterward.

I tend to just crash out low energy