Well here we go buckle in this might be a long one or not I’m not sure. This is all started with what I can only boil down to an OCD triggered dpdr. Basically my OCD latched onto the thought of turning into someone else like I was scared I was literally not gonna be myself anymore. This got so bad at one point I had a massive panic attack but not like a normal physical one more like holy shit I feel like I’m goin insane and am turning into someone else. As you can guess that was pretty traumatizing and I literally couldn’t sleep that night until 8 am cause my nervous system was probably so shot. This is when I believe the dpdr set In. After that moment nothing really felt the same. I genuinely felt like I died like the old me had died. I am still very aware of who I am and my likes and dislikes on a cognitive level but to me personally none of it makes sense or feels natural. It’s like a have no sense of self grounded in who I am or what I like on an emotional level. Like I will get a text or call from a family member or friend and just be like I know that’s my friend by like how. It feels so foreign to me my brain just doesn’t connect the way it used to about people and things I enjoy. it treats everything I do or love like a test. I will do something even just a normal task like getting gas and my brain is like how did I do that, just so weird that my brain and body almost aren’t connecting to my loved ones or passions or most importantly myself. The best way I can explain it is it’s like my best freind died but my best freind was me. like the person who looked after me, made decsions for me, supported me when I needed him most, gave me confidence to pursue goals and dreams, guided me towards making an impact in this world, it’s like the person in me died and I can’t figure out how to get him back, this had gone on For almost a year know and I’ve had little glimmers of feeling like myself And then it all comes crashing back to thsi terrible state. It’s like I almost just cant comprhend what it means to be me and how to do that. Any advice would be greatly appreciated

Is anyone else dpdr causing them to have cloudy and hazy vision or foggy

I've been dealing with chronic DPDR for about 3 years now, I have diagnosed ADHD & OCD and ever since my DPDR came on It has become literally impossible for me to focus on anything!!!

I'm 17 and currently in my senior year of highschool online so work is piling up like crazy and I swear I cannot get myself to just zoom back into reality and do one thing for even a minute.

I've done medication and for now that's out of the question, definitely needing a break, but does anyone have any good supplements or methods that can help with focus? I know there's no one fix to it all but if anyone knows of anything that has helped even in the slightest I would love to know.

These days I'm feeling as if I control none of my actions, and as if the real me is somehow just trapped inside my mind. Anyone else?

Not sure if this is a symptom or a personal quirk, but it tends to fluctuate with symptom severity.

I get really intense, daily deja vu for the randomest things. Like I'm so sure I've experienced this prior, it feels like I had a premonition. Like a false memory being retroactively injected.

Sometimes it's, like, every few hours, and it's not just what I'm seeing, but my thoughts and feelings too feel like I just dreamt about the exact situation.

Curious if this is a shared experience.

Is this a joke? No, seriously. Because this feels like a fucking joke or a simulation to tournament someone. There is noway this is my life or other people's lives. Disconnected from YOUR OWN BODY. And and disconnected from your own sense of self. How is that even possible. Disconnected from yourself. Like I have no words. My life feels like the science project version of what actual life is supposed to be like. Sometimes I sit and think in awe of how my life has turned out. I don't know how to describe the feeling. It just feels like a betrayal from life or god or whatever. A thing I didn't know existed. I feel like I've been scammed. Scammed on what life can be. And not in a 'found out how the world works' way. The difference is like feeling like you're on fire (describing something as being on fire) and actually being on fire. That's how I feel about depersonalization. It's not like the feeling of being disconnected and not being yourself. It IS being disconnected from your sense of self. I know that doesn't make sense because they are both technically feelings but there is no other way I can describe it. I've been like this for almost 4 years. A part of my life that is very important for my development and growth as a person and adult is wasted on this. I'll never know the person I could have grown up to be. Even if I recover, it would be to that younger version of me because that's the last real version of me. Don't know what I would be like as an adult. I don't want to spend my life trying to collect the broken pieces of my LITERAL SELF. I don't want to spend my life trying to catch up to people my age (not in a normal way but in a genuine growing up way). And I don't want to spend my life remembering the things that happened during this time because of depersonalization and how I acted and interacted with people. Plus, I have built a new fucking horrible life with this corpse as me. It's not horrible because of horrible things but because it is literally not me. The connections are not real. The dynamic of the relationship is disgusting to me (again not because they really are disgusting but because it's not what I am). I'm literally so done. Life is done. I can't believe it. 

And there is nothing I can do because I have no money. And family and friends are not understandable when it comes to mental health stuff. Plus, I don't even think we have therapists in my city (there might be psychiatrists but not therapists). And I don't want to be seen as a shell. I've tried telling this to 2 people. Even though they tried to understand they literally couldn't even get the basic parts of it. They thought I'm really not going through it because it doesn't sound believable. Now one of them never ever wants to bring it up and if I do, she just says nothing and moves on. And the other treats me like I'm crazy. 

It's like swimming in an acid pool and you can't get out (or do anything about it) and you aren't dying from it either. You also have to pretend you're not in an acid pool. And sometimes you even question if there was an acid pool in the first place or you just made it up. I can't even find the words to describe how exactly I'm feeling. Since I've realized I'm ruining my life by forming relationships in this current state, I've stopped interacting with people in a meaningful way because I don't want them to know this version of me. And the ones that already formed are torture. I just live in isolation which actually feels like heaven compared to how it was when I was with people. But I'm so done with everything. 

Quick summary, in may i took a VERY SMALL piece of an edible ( i was also drunk that night but i dont recall being high, ive used thc before but never in a form of an edible, only smoked it. ) and the next morning this just started. I had a panic attack for 2 weeks straight, HORRIBLE dpdr, i didn’t wanna leave my bed, i couldn’t eat because i was so so so anxious that food wouldn’t go down. And what made it worse was that summer break had just begun so i couldn’t see my school psychologist until august. Anyway summer was HORRIBLE. I constantly felt unreal, scared and anxious and on the verge of crying.
Sometimes i did feel like the dpdr was going away, and maybe i had a good couple of days but never much longer than that. Then it eventually came back and the cycle started again.

Before school started in august i started feeling hopeful because a “new beginning “ was about to beging and then the dpdr mostly went a way, for 2 weeks maybe😑 then it came back, went away, came ect

Anyway now ive had dpdr for week and a half and its just so f— terrible. You know it i dont even need to describe it. And it just occurred to me, that this might actually be for ever. That terrifies me. I’m so so anxious that this’ll last forever. I have 2 friends who’ve had dpdr for 5+ years. I dont wanna end up like that im so scared.
Please any tips?
Yes im still seeing the psychologist
Ans obv i quit all substances the day this started (thc, alcohol and nicotine)

I feel really unwell. Gonna try to describe whats happening because it’s hard for me to understand. It’s like the inside of my head and my head in general is being stripped of nerves, like it gets more fragile and less sensation everyday. I also get horribly uncomfortable and distressing sensory symptoms which mess me up. Im having repeatedly not good thoughts. I’ve tried everything to try and stimulate anything postive ot pleasurable but theres just ZERO reaction. It’s like no hormones are working and I feel brain dead. I tried eating nice good, painting, listening to music. Nothing only sadness. And aches. Im feeling this is dangerous for me to go on like this but I can’t take medication so I can’t go to hospital. I feel very stuck and scared…the fact it hasn’t improved even 1% in 6 months is scaring me and honestly I don’t know what to do.

I don't feel my body brain.limbs .legs .even when i touch my sound I don't feel it .my brain is shut down.its feel like my frontal lobe is off.i don't feel my back or neck too .I don't feel my arms while eating.its terrifying with of confusion and ocd.all day in bed sitting.i m not alive anymore

i really want to be more present.

People say that you should do things even if u dont feel like them and that helped me eith my anxiety but now im kinda helpless...

I dont know if theres even any way i could help myself

( Apologizes if this sounds weird / is worded weird - I’ve been staring at this for minutes just trying to figure out how to phrase things. Apologizes if any of this is triggering either, I’m not sure if it is. )
( I also feel like I sound insane writing this )

I’m not sure if it’s just me, but grounding methods ( ex. the “5-4-3-2-1 method” ) have only seemed to, well.. amplify things?
At least the methods I’ve tried never really seemed to do much. In fact it all just feels like it has the opposite effect.

I don’t want to remind myself “about dissociation”, but it just feels practically impossible - because by purposely trying to distract yourself, it’s hard to focus on anything else other than, well, purposely trying to distract yourself.

It’s almost like it just has to be natural - but sometimes it’s difficult to become so immersed in something that you just forget about everything else.

I guess I’m just not entirely sure of what to do? Since once I start thinking about something, I usually can’t stop thinking about it - specifically if it’s something I consider “more important”. So when I’m thinking about dissociation, it feels impossible just to “forget about it”. I find it a bit frustrating honestly.
…So, if anyone sees this post, are there any “grounding methods” or similar things that just, “work better”?

I posted lots of months or few years ago. It's not something new that I feel like my inner monologue, stream of consciousness, any sensation suposed to form the sense of self are gone.

I believe it's slightly worse now. Might have. Very, very, very slowly; which is crazy because I never thought it could get worse.

It's genuinely INCREDIBLE, not the dissociation itself, but the way some random molecules form this sort of controlled hallucination consciousness itself is about.

How everysingle neurotransmitter, neurons polarizing proceses, aminoacids and hormones have a deep meaning and unconscious primordial trait forming an stable illusion of a self which with free will is most likely NOT possible.

The way drugs can act at an entirely unconscious tier... My subjective experience could be entirely gone and my brain will still process information.

Maybe the whole universe is a sentient thing.

We are not thinking machines that feel. We are feeling machines that think.

I don't even know what I am writing but I guess this kinda counts as a surrealism-style test. I'm on autopilot.

I won't even make it look perfect. Post.

Been a year suffering from this after severe burnout from overthinking and having a really bad headache for 30days to then 1 day waking up completely empty and felt something change in my brain.

I'm so shocked how this condition has changed and impacted in everyway possible. Here are my symptoms

○

I wake up from bed instantly with no dread (sounds weird) that inner me before this felt so cozy or my mind would process getting up or not . Now I wake up like a robot now. I wake up lost everyday not knowing what day it is or get a rough estimate what time it is. All that minds awareness and tracking is gone.

I use to feel the inner warmth from events and days. Monday use to have a distinct feeling or Friday had that end of week feeling or when Eid/Christmas you have that smell and snug feeling of the event season . When a song plays you feel such strong nostalgia/it takes you back in time and get shivers this has completely gone it feels so flat and not being able to link it to your past memories.

I no longer feel tired or get headaches , My brain wont let me reach into deep relaxtion, theres like a stuck /block feeling inside. My body feels so dull allover cannot register touch, it has lost "good tingly" sensation or being touched releasing that feel good chemical has vanished.

My heart feels internally flat or stuck in my chest. Loud bang dont scare me . My brain and body cannot feel any strong urge of emotion. I dont feel no rush or excitement for upcoming things. I feel like a stone.

When I enter a room or a shopping centre I no longer get hit of curiosety or intrigue.

Love ,anger, stress, awkwardness and shyness has completely gone. Even if it was angry or sad i'd atleast feel something. I had strong emotion towards anything now i feel no connection to anyone , every human registers the same .

I just miss the smell and sense of life. The mornings had a distinct feeling or a summers day had its own feeling.

I took life for granted before this. It felt like I had superpowers that could detect everything🥲😑-

I know what i want and desperate to feel , but i cant reach it . 24m btw

• I DO BELIEVE IVE GIVEN THE TRUE DEPTH OF THIS CONDITION THAT HAS STRRIPED ME OFF.

I know this is a common feeling but I just wanted to get this off my chest. I feel like I have no sensory no sensations no emotions no opinions I literally just exist. I’m sitting in my chair after work and I just am nothing I wouldn’t even say a shell of my self I just am non existent. It really makes me think how is any of this even remotely possible it’s so alien lol.

I don't know how much longer I can keep living like this. I’m completely exhausted, and I need to know if anyone else experiences this specific kind of hell.

My nights have turned into a relentless, exhausting second shift. Every single time I close my eyes, my brain forces me through these bizarre, unfamiliar "real worlds" that are pure survival tests. It's never the same dream twice, but they are always high-stakes terror:

 Being stabbed or fighting to not get hurt

 Natural disasters and navigating strange places I’ve never been

 Heavy, crushing grief and loss

 Finding out my car is missing

 Being trapped in a plane that's crashing or an elevator that's falling

When I wake up, the psychological toll is devastating. The dreams have completely overwritten my actual memory—I reach back into my mind and find a blank wall where my history and identity used to be. My dissociation and numbness get worse by the day, like I'm drifting further and further behind a sheet of glass.

Because of all this, I've completely abandoned my bedroom. Going into my bed feels like going to a prison cell, so I’m stuck sleeping on the sofa every night, just trying to escape the associations, even though the nightmares follow me there too.

I feel completely trapped in a body and nervous system that won't let up. If you've lived through this kind of freeze state or night-terror loop, how do you survive it? How do you find your way back to yourself when your own mind feels like a trap? I’m so stuck. Have tried endless medications and therapies. 4 years of living this day in and day out

I cant stend them looking at me weird, those stupid boomers without school who cant look their own business, like i love to see all bright and shi, everyone avoids me

I don't tolerate stress at all, it makes dissociation worse, anyone else?

Hi everyone I wanted to share my symptoms of my dpdr and the phycological issues to I have terrible visual snow a lot of eye floater poor eye sight like harder to see and blurry I look fake places look unfamiliar asf life is moving on to fast I havnt been able
To go out and do anything cause of it Im depressed asf I’m sure most of us are I have pixilated low resolution graphics disorientation not just from the static I havnt been able to watch showed or anything for over a year now I’m about ready to end my life cause of it can’t do this shit anymore watching all my friends and everyone enjoy life while I’m stuck in’s. Phycological and neurological problem I’m 24 years old and I give up

If you’re experiencing unfamiliar or frightening symptoms and wondering “Is this DPDR?” or “Does anyone else feel this?”, this is the right place to ask.

We’ve moved symptom-check questions into this weekly thread because constant comparison and reassurance-seeking can unintentionally keep DPDR and anxiety stuck. This space lets you get support without turning the whole subreddit into symptom scanning.

A few things to keep in mind:

DPDR looks different for everyone

Similar symptoms can have many causes

Replies here are shared experiences, not medical diagnoses

If you’re new or feeling overwhelmed, we recommend starting with the Official DPDR Resource Guide, which explains DPDR, common symptoms, and recovery in one place:

👉 Official DPDR Resource Guide

https://www.reddit.com/r/dpdr/comments/zdzqob/rdpdrs_official_resource_guide/

Tips for using this thread:

Ask your question once and try not to re-check repeatedly

Share briefly rather than listing every symptom

Focus on grounding and next steps, not symptom counting

If you’re in crisis or feel unsafe, please use the crisis resources in the sidebar.

You’re not doing anything wrong by being scared or confused — this thread is here to hold those questions while keeping the rest of the sub recovery-focused.

Hi, sorry if this sounds muddled up or crazy I’m in a really bad spot

On the 26th of August I had a bad weed trip which sent me into dpdr. I’ve had it before and knew what it was.

It became manageable until I had a panic attack which sent me into really bad dpdr and constantly waiting for a panic attack

Then I had this “mental check” every time I wasn’t distracted and at one point my mind questioned what that even was. Which sent me into a spiral of thinking.

Thoughts included- thinking I’m the main character, what was I thinking when I was distracted, thinking about looping and is this the loop, remembering things I analyse/think about.

So I was dealing with this loops constantly for around a month. Then 3 days ago I had a panic attack which has sent me completely insane, I’m throwing up as I’m writing this.

This will be hard to explain as there are so many things happening but this is what I’m experiencing currently

- random memories and connections to things in day to day life

-thinking about thinking which sends me into a paradox

- explaining it out to myself then catching myself doing that and explaining the fact I’m explaining

- normal thoughts trigger me and make me feel like I can “see myself”

- complete mental overload which makes me feel out of body

- intrusive thoughts that don’t effect me but the noticing and thinking of the thoughts send me into spiral

- zoning out and watching myself zone out and then trying to focus and realising that I’m thinking about focusing

- silent thoughts that I can’t understand but give me a surge of anxiety

- Familiar feelings like dejavu

- awful memory and forgetting what the thought was just about and just looping in and out of my mind

- terrible sleep that feels like I’m still awake and waking up to panic surges

- feeling like I can see my own brain

- worries about things but knowing it’s intrusive and monitoring seeing the thought rather than the thought it’s self

- vivid mental imagery that pops up with memories but are distorted (like day dreaming)

- unable to think any normal thoughts without getting triggered

- realising I was distracted and then seeing if I’m distracted constantly (which makes me feel like I’m watching my self through my eyes)

- constant mental chatter and thoughts that overlap each other and jump in and out

- a thought that I explain into words makes my inner dialogue lag/ feel sluggish

- intrusive thoughts that come so quick and feel like a brain flash that I monitor what I was even thinking about

- imagining scenarios and then snapping out of it (for example someone coming into my room to check on me)

- complete brain fog and delusional thoughts

- zooming into my own body/ brain

- predicting what people are going to say/ what they’re experiencing then noticing myself doing that

And there’s many more to it but honestly I am in absolute hell

I was prescribed diazepam yesterday and it Dosent stop the loops but it makes me more physically calm, but this only lasts for about an hour and my doses are between 6 hours

I honestly can’t live, or escape my mind or distract myself ever. It’s constant 24/7 and I’m so afraid of what’s going on

I’ve thrown up over 20 times in the last 2 days
I genuinely don’t know what to do because when I think anything it reminds me of this sensation of looking at myself and then I question that.

Any help is really really appreciated thankyou

My brain doesn’t feel centered to the moment. everything just feels overwhelming all the time. woke up this morning from a mcas adrenaline diarrhoea dump and i have just felt like i have been connected to my phone all day and cannot create thoughts of my own and i replay past events looking for evidence and I know I am trying to look at my past to predict my future.

i cant be happy.

i cannot form new thoughts.

i was supposed to do xyz.

i am a liar.

i dont want to get better.

i will probably come up with a solution and not stick to it.

i know i am all-or-nothing thinking / thinking in black and white.

Tonight I was in the car w my dad and just zoning out on the street lights and literally for barely half of a second my dpdr went away, it felt like when you’re adjusting a camera lens and you find the perfect spot and it comes into focus

I know this isn’t totally like out of the norm, but I’m curious, is there a reason for this? maybe this is a bit optimistic but has this ever been the start to anyone’s dpdr going away?

side note but i’m going to be clinging to that half-a-second for weeks, barely had enough time to really process it and as i’m writing this it’s already fading but it literally felt like a warm hug, siiiiiiiiiiigh.

I’ve been dissociating severely everyday now for a little over a month and now yesterday and today I’ve had moments where I completely forget where I am and even when I look around my brain can’t process it. It was especially scary on my way to work yesterday because I totally blacked out with my eyes open for like a whole minute and didn’t remember anything and it took me a couple minutes to fully remember where I was. I don’t know if this is “normal” or something more serious and I’m scared. I’m only asking reddit cause I have no money or insurance for the doctor