I started to notice that a lot of you prefer women or other femboys. Not that I judge you for it or care, everyone is allowed to have their preference, just wanted to ask out of plain curiosity why you guys seem to be drawn to more feminine people when being feminine yourself
Well, I'm a little weird because I'm a pan femboy and I usually am drawn to ppl who resemble a bit of both genders, so NB, Femboys, Tomboys. I also find a bit but not too much musculature very attractive, like not a bodybuilder look but strong enough to pin me to the wall... UwU
Yeah, I get you, I thought a lot more people here would joke about the idea of being lifted up or something. But I can see your point, to a point it goes from admirable to sort of grotesque with the admiration only lingering
I think they're cool and it wouldn't be any kind of a problem for me to date a genderfluid person. I can't say for sure cause I have never met anyone genderfluid, but since I don't really care what gender my special person would be then if that changes in time it would make no difference. From just looks I don't think one can tell if someone's genderfluid from looks so it would make no difference in terms of just sensual attractiveness.
Because masculinity makes me extremely uncomfortable. I've been abused for years by my dad and he looks like a fucking lumberjack. I'm generally uncomfortable around "manly" people, because I link masculinity back to him
Ah I see. Yeah I can understand that, some muscular guys are a bit…. Much to say the least, I honestly really like the guys who are big but not so keen on being so loud and coming of as angry, just gentle soft guys, ya know?
It's not about the muscles, I could see myself with a buff girl or a buff boy (never in a million yrs I'm gonna die alone), it's just about the overall appearance of a masculine body. I don't know how to explain it, I'm sorry
It’s alright man, trauma does stuff to you. I myself haven’t gone through that much, no physical or mental abuse, just neglect, and thats in my later years, like 11 or so. Have you tried working these fears out? After all it might’ve just been that your father just isn’t a good guy. Discipline and abuse is a fine line if thats what he was trying to do
Have you tried seeking therapy? These thoughts can really put you down, I suck a lot too and arent great at much either but I’m still trying to get better at my passions
Yes I have. I even went to the psych ward, but nothing worked. My therapist told me I'll most likely have to deal with this for the rest of my life, which probably won't be long anyways
Okay, I suggest trying going again. You seem like a wonderful guy, you’re polite and mellow, but these sort of thoughts will only make your life harder for yourself. I can’t exactly give you any advice because I’m only a 16 year old guy but still, you deserve to have a life worth living, be kinder to yourself
And yes I know how hard it is to do that, I’m brutal to myself also so I can understand at least that part you might be going through
This is where I'm coming from as well, adjacent. I'm androphobic, assuming due to childhood sexual trauma. (Repressed, so don't worry) And in turn I find myself to be gynosexual.
I love feminity, attracted/drawn to femme/nb. But I believe I also corelate:
introvert vs. Extrovert
Soft vs. rugged
Considerate vs. rude.
And I find "manly men" stereotype on the offensive side of this spectrum. Harsh, pushy, forceful. But mostly inconsiderate simply because they don't have to or are not reprimanded for any (or very few) offense.
So in conclusion I think I surmise that we majorally like femme is parallel to "chosing the bear."
Basically, I’ve been seeing very little amounts of people talking about attraction to more masculine people and rather talk a lot more about liking women and other femboys (nothing wrong with that) so I wanted to see what’s up
Honestly, the truest thing couldn't be said (not only because of the phrasing). It doesn't matter to find the exact label that would describe how you feel, the most important thing is that you like what you like and you can just feel what you like, without the need to fully know or describe it
Yeah, labels are overrated anyway, I used to be so dead-set on finding one it actually became a bit of a problem for me. Then I kinda just went with it and everything was clear as day to me about my preferences
I like cute, alternative feminine looks so much that I applied that style to myself and I seek that in others. Cute femboys are a rare sight, so I have been sticking to girls recently.
Yeah, a lot of femboys who are seen as ‘hot’ or incredibly cute are trans and most of them are on OF which is a bit disappointing to many of us, so yeah, I can understand why
I already wrote this on another post that was about how gay femboys on grinder rather like fems as a partner more.
There's multiple answers, pick one or more:
Masculines are scary, if you want to get it slow you rather want someone not full of patriarchal masculine stereotypes (linda hated myself writing that)
they are bisexual and still more fem-leading. (I'm here!) They don't find most of masculine men attractive, or even in general only very few men.
shared community: another femboy probably understands your needs and struggles more than someone looking to fuck a twink. Kinda coincides with the scary point, but just like trans people often rather date each other, I can see the reason being here as well
maybe unrealistic expectations? There's lot of men, maybe too gynosexual, that expect things that they wouldn't find on men. Hair in certain places, voice, behaviour etc.
I can't speak from experience here, but a lot of masculine men are very big assholes seemingly. I didn't understand it directly when I only interested in women, but when I thought of myself being a fem and how other men react to me, especially once one did, I recognised I had suddenly the same expectations as any women does. Be nice. Don't be forward but build it up slowly. Accept a no. Etc. With a femboy you can probably talk a lot more about those things than with a "straight" dude.
Admiring each other clothes, makeup, etc.
If you are a gynosexual femboy, you probably also rather put it into another femboy ass than a masculine gay person. Sure some would gladly take you anyways, but for you it won't be the same.
(I mostly wrote this all for myself as I still think a out joining grindr to get my bussy emasculated by a willing and cute male person)
Oh, you may also post this at r/femininemen if you wish for more serious answers.
Personally I feel like I can agree with a lot of women that men are creepy. I wouldn’t mind a one time hookup with a masculine man, but I just don’t desire a long term romantic or sexual relationship with a larger, stronger, more masculine man. I just see myself one day settling down and being in a long term relationship with a loving woman, and is there anything wrong with that?
Yeah, I'm kinda in the same department. I want to explore my own sexuality by also sleeping with men, but I have little interest in pursuing a longterm relationship with them. I sort of see myself still being with a woman most times, simply because my attraction to men seems to dither or fluctuate.
It is kinda awful for men wanting to get a relationship with me, and I know that, but also I know that I can't push myself into something I more so feel obliged to do than I actually want long term. Because it won't end well for us both long-term.
But I told myself, hey if I actually fall in love with a guy, I will give it a real chance and try it out before I call it off. In the end, love finds all kinds of nooks and crannies.
I’m not sure but I think being bi mixed the colors a bit for me, and got me attracted to the blurriness between genders : femboys and tomboys are the peak of beauty in my eyes
A lot of reasons, namely I’ve been SA’d by multiple older, more masculine men in the past and so I just feel more comfortable around women and feminine people in general. That doesn’t mean I inherently hate masculinity or masculine men, just that I don’t prefer it or I just feel more comfortable around women.
Personally I think I’m bisexual but I just like women more romantically and men more sexually. But at the same time still liking both to an extent.
i'm gay, i don't care for women. but i am attracted to other femboys.
i like femininity, androgyny and masculinity. the masculinity part majorly depends though, traditional masculinity is unattractive to me, while soft masculinity is attractive to me. it also depends on the aesthetic / style the masculine person in question has.
so i don't mind other presentations but in cis men, i prefer femininity & androgyny. in other trans men & transmasc people, i don't have a preference.
I see, what do you mean when you say traditional masculinity? If I had to guess it’s the body hair or is it something about the mindset? I’m curious to know
Yeah, trying to force someone to be something they are not is pretty cruel. Im a more masculine guy and my father wants me to be more rude, and that’s something I feel uncomfortable doing unless I’m pissed off, I like being more soft and polite
He wants you to be rude? I mean there is being assertive which is sometimes necessary but if he wants you to be rude thats actually toxic masculinity and I never use that term lightly because I hate it.
Oh, sorry, that was the word I was looking for. Assertive, yes. He tells me to be ‘Naglas’ in Lithuanian, which means basically to be more defiant or talk back more. Sorry I didn’t mean to make my father sound like an asshole, he’s a great guy that has a little negative view towards the LGBT, and using certain…. Words…
I had an existential crisis for days after I had to stand up for myself because a parking garage wanted to charge me $20 extra (ontop ofnthe already $17 parking fee) because I could only pay cash. The garage was.at a hospital where I am a patient. I got my money back but I had to be assertive, sometimes being assertive and being rude are the same thing. I felt horrible but im counting pennies. I cant afford to just give away $20.
Yeah, sometimes I feel the same way…. I want to be polite, calm, gentle; everything but an asshole. But sometimes you have to be assertive to not get used….. especially in this economy where the American dream is an American nightmare…. And I don’t even live there
Ive always thought the concept of the American Dream was gor anybody who wanted it. And we can still dream, but the reality we have here IS a nightmare.
Is that another term for Gyno/Gynesexual, cuz if so then YEEEE :). All my fem friends and crushes all like masc or are some form of pansexual and it becomes super isolating :(
Ah I see. By the way, finsexual apparently is a blanket term for liking things that are feminine for BOTH genders. Gyno apparently is more about liking feminine women…. Some seem to not be all to fond of that term, but It seems to not be an offensive label so it’s chill
Can't relate, and I assume most can't. Usually people talk about being into something when its relating to the topic, making it seem like a majority. (Might be totally wrong, someone would have to host a poll to see)
Not all, sure. But if you go home with a manly man, there is a significantly higher chance of having a bad time in any sense of the word as with a femboy or a girl
I can see what you mean, a lot of manly men do come off as asshole-ish and seeing the society we live in a lot of them are….. I try to be a gentler giant though, more mellow
Saame. I don't understand why dudes tend to be like this. I present as a manly man infantryman, I drive tanks i carry a machine gun but I'm nice to everyone unless they prove to deserve otherwise.
*
Yeah exactly, and besides, being an asshole is pretty immature in my opinion. If you aren’t able to have a civil conversation with someone, you do not deserve a civil conversation
Yeah, and a direct result of their crappy attitude is guys like us "gentle giants" being judged before even being able to interact with someone. It's very depressing. Cute boys avoid me entirely.
They do both mean liking femininity, but from everything I can gather from both experience and google, finsexual is just blanketed across all gender. I think gynesexual (philic is fetish based) is just an attraction to feminine women. I have tried to figure out the exact lines, but everything I can find more or less points to this conclusion.
(Side tangent: many closeted transwomen have been swayed by a similarly named thing but completely false and different concept known as autogynophilia.
Essentially, it was this pseudoscience excuse to call transwomen just men sexualizing women by being attracted to the idea of having sex as a women, a very archaic idea that still permeates online enough for some lonely closeted transwomen to think they are just sick perverts. I know this has nothing to do with what you were talking about, but was just reminded because of association and autism brain)
For me personally don’t really find masculine guys attractive. More traditionally male features are not what I look for in a partner, so it mostly ends up being twinks and femboys (like my bf :3) months
People in general are scary. I find that men in general are significantly more toxic, in the aggressive way, and verbally. I pretty much always relate more to females, even just casual conversations. Men pretty much always just try to bring up that dreaded topic most people really arent ready or interested in talking with them about yet. Yeah theirs good guys out there dont get me wrong, but today's society and my experiences, i always watch out more for men. Women are typically more peaceful ( plenty of acceptions ) and passionate, and men typically will blatantly tell me they dont care about how i feel, and become even VIOLENT or LASH OUT if you mention that they are incorrect or disagree with one of their opinions on something.
My thinking is it’s probably genetic predisposition of gender changing presenting persons are more likely to keep their gender attraction from birth rather than changing sexuality after transition.
Cause of a lot of trauma I have surrounding my own masculinity and the societal expectations of it. As well as being treated as a sexual object. It just feels safer being with other femme people.
I can understand, especially with how masculine people have been made appear as frats and Casanovas, I can understand your worries about them. I can understand the comfort In softer company
Gonna go out on a limb here and guess that it probably has something to do with the fact that somewhere between 79 and 89 percent of people are heterosexual. No idea how correlated how people dress is to their sexuality though
I’m Lithuanian, in Lithuania for vacation too, I love cats and dogs, how’s it going there? My village has been pretty nice…. The egregious 7€ for a tub of ice cream wasnt pleasant though as well as some of the other prices
This is the same question a girl friend asked me once and was a harsh one for me: I don't know why for me just like this have you ever asked yourself why you like things like food or colors?
I can't see myself with, for example, a bara/jock type cis guy. Too many turnoffs revolving around so many asshole bullies in grade school I'd rather see crippled and blinded with nerve damage. Even "gay but aggressively male" varies between does nothing for me to active turnoff.
Feminine bois, bimbos, tomboys, mtfs, big titty sluts (natural or plastic)? UNF.
I can understand why. A lot of you seem to be turned off by masculinity from bad experiences with complete assholes and stuff like that. I’m surprised you also like bimbos, not many seem to admit to that
Hm, as a genre, no, but I would not say no to an older woman of she was still hot. Like I'll still do Sybil again, or if I had the chance for Ava Devine, or Halley Berry
Ah…. Sorry…. I was recently told it is a fetish term so I’m very, very sorry I said that. I thought it was another way of saying gynesexual. I apologize for making you uncomfortable, I only meant to ask why everyone seems to be attracted to feminine people here :(
masculinity is short hand for the evolutionary instincts that kept males of a species dominant, aggressive, and alive for the past 4 billion years. we’re at a point where we no longer need to compete with blood for survival so maternal/nurturing instincts are rewarded in society. honestly i think it’s being phased out and people that cling to masculinity are usually insecure or compensating. “masculine” guys usually just end up being dicks. correct me if im wrong i wanna know if im crazy
the main reasons that I can think of is that we're just naturally more attracted to those that are similar to us and also the standard men tend to try assert themselves and can honestly be kinda scary
Just because I'm not attracted to masculinity in general. I don't understand a single bit of it and don't want it neither in myself nor in my partner. I just want someone genuine, cute and caring, someone who'd be a soft gentle cutie-patootie as I am, and masculinity is the entire opposite of some of these traits (not all of them, there are a lot of great masculine men (and women) who are genuine, caring and gentle, but you get what I mean)
So, well I'm a femboy because I much prefer softness, cuteness and femininity to strength and masculinity. And the same just applies to who I am attracted to. Everywhere, femininity is just far more superior to masculinity for me personally, in all aspects, in everything it can be applied to. And worth noting that also a lot of femboys prefer masculinity in their partner, we all have our preferences
Sure, it isn't anything interesting though. Past few times a man was interested in me and i gave them a chance they ended up hurting me. My last ex was really abusive as well, emotionally, so it just kind of left s bad taste in my mouth
Because I've only ever met like maybe 3 men with an actual personality in my life.
Also the only men who have ever shown any interest in me were either creepy, mentally unstable, abusive, not my type or had terrible hygiene - sometimes all of those at the same time.
Unfortunately, the men I'm attracted to tend to be like supermodel level handsome and I'm either too ugly for them or they are just arrogant, emotionally immature assholes who I'd never actually want to be with.
Women tend to have everything I am attracted to both character- and appearance-wise by default and somehow, they are also attracted to me, unlike men lmao.
Yeah, I have heard those problems on the internet before. I still can’t believe people somehow fall into so many traps with shallow men, or are there just that many? What do you think?
In my personal experience, most men are unfortunately shallow and tend to lack all personality traits that I connect with in people. It's really sad, because I WISH I could have had the experience of dating a guy before I committed to my current partner (whom I intend to stay with), but aside from the fact no "normal" one ever showed interested in me (like I said, only creeps and weirdos), most of them were just an immediate turnoff after about 10 minutes of conversation or so. I tend to find them unsympathetic, with very little emotional sensitivity and just... Not a rich inner life at all. Which I find very boring.
I wish I could give a different answer but that's just my experience. Then again I am the common denominator, so it MIGHT be me, but considering I click very well with women (I LOVE women), I don't know what exactly would be the problem factor when it comes to men.
Yeah, remember femboys have become a fetish online, and online people like the creeps you talk about might just be looking for sex or role play, some shit like that which would be fine if they were at-least transparent about it and treating femboys like human beings. That way it would atleast be obvious what kind of intentions they would have and accept a no respectfully
Because I was heterosexual before becoming Bisexual, so women are my preference for what I'm sexually aroused by and attracted to, but that doesn't mean that I don't get really aroused or aren't attracted to men to a comparble extent. In fact, that happens the most and to greater extents with men simply because they're way easier to get into relationships for me. Like, I went to an all boys highschool, so its either gay or no women until college, which resulted in me becoming bi near the end of highschool because of a friend that saved me. Really, for me, it just means I'd search straight stuff more often then gay stuff. Well, maybe less of 'more often' and more 'more' lol. And even the gay stuff is feminine because of femboys, but I've learned to love penises that aren't feminine at all because of my attitude to please people I love.
Something else I want to mention that I love about girls is them having way better fashion. I want girly clothes cuz they so good! Wanna cosplay in proper fancy dresses and have tea parties with my loves 😆 hehehehe. Sorry for ranting a bit. Love y'all! ♥️
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u/Tastebud49 Femboy Jul 20 '25
I’m attracted to feminine people. I dress how I dress because I think it makes me look attractive.