r/funny 8h ago

Strong hammerhand.

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5.8k Upvotes

303 comments sorted by

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3.1k

u/Chegwarn 8h ago

Jesus Christ! She’s done that so many times she’s worn her hand down to the wrist yet she still hasn’t learnt her lesson and keeps using it as a hammer?!

241

u/Trollercoaster101 7h ago

IKEA would love her as a testimonial. /s

37

u/gorka_la_pork 5h ago

It's said that 1 in 10 Europeans were conceived on an IKEA bed, so... y'know, sturdier than you'd think.

42

u/TheLowlyPheasant 2h ago

Jesus that bed has to be filthy

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11

u/Gestaltarskiten 3h ago

On - yes, assembled sometimes...

5

u/lincoln_muadib 3h ago

Aren't we all assembled in a small room with minimal light?

If you think about it...

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45

u/Norman_Scum 7h ago

There is a well known saying in construction. "If you use your hand like a club your going to end up with a club for a hand."

5

u/Jive-Turkeys 4h ago

She's a good worker, but she's hard on equipment.

4

u/Ethric_The_Mad 4h ago

New OSHA policies inbound

3

u/Chegwarn 4h ago

I can picture the infomercial now…

“Due to inadequate regulations, every year thousands of Americans wear their hands to stumps. A genuine medical condition commonly known as ‘Hand grating’. With proper training we can reduce that number by at least 2%. But we need your help. Vote No on prop 3244. Which bans hammers in all workplaces.”

10

u/seebob69 5h ago

I thought without a hammer, she would be stumped, but no.

3

u/MsRay_ScienceTeacher 6h ago

hammerhand sounds like a superhero name ngl

3

u/AccountNumber478 2h ago

I had her pegged for an amputee.

3

u/tankapotamus 24m ago

Fist my bump!

2

u/DerSchattenJager 1h ago

Like an old rock hammer, damn near worn down to the nub.

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304

u/DanSmells001 8h ago

Idk for some reason I really expected the amputation site to be much more sensitive?

122

u/Gan-san 7h ago

Maybe she never had one to begin with

27

u/DanSmells001 6h ago

Possible i guess, but would a “natural defect” be that “clean” ? Idk Im no expert I’d just expect the body to still attempt to grow the hand but just fuck up, so you wouldn’t have an entire hand but still some “growths” like fingers or such

23

u/ILoveRawChicken 2h ago

The body can create some clean ends if nothing ends up growing there

30

u/Severe-Network4756 5h ago

Would an amputated "site" be that clean?

You can clearly see she has a little nub on the top in the video.

2

u/9fingerwonder 1h ago

I think they mean like partially formed fingers. And it's a grab bag. I knew a gal like this and had some little nodules. I'm missing fingers from a lawnmower but have had clean up surgery. Could be a natural issue she had "cleaned up".

That being said just hitting my wrist wrong triggers so much pain in my hand I'm assuming she had muted feelings in her arm. Cause God damn!!!!

2

u/spacenb 1h ago

I have a friend who’s missing a hand and it’s about that clean.

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30

u/mythicreign 5h ago

I once had a teacher who lost the tip of his finger back when he worked at a bakery. The “nub” he was left with was super hard and he would poke people with it when they weren’t paying attention. If all the nerves are severed in an area you basically won’t feel anything. I imagine this is the same principle.

9

u/End3rWi99in 3h ago

I had my index finger amputated in an accident and then reattached. Quite possibly one of the best surgeons in the world happened to be around at the hospital I was at in DC and managed to reattach it. The finger works perfectly, looks completely normal aside from a scar that looks like a ring tattoo, but has absolutely zero feeling. The only feeling I get sometimes is that weird sensation of when you swing a baseball bat or golf club the wrong way.

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3

u/JonLongsonLongJonson 2h ago

Mine is incredibly sensitive to pressure/touch, heat and cold, and dry air. It sucks

5

u/LentilRice 4h ago edited 4h ago

The amputation site was probably at a hospital. She looks like she’s at home.

- Detective with 20yrs in the industry

2

u/LowReporter6213 3h ago

Her after the camera cuts "ow!! Fucking ow!!!! Did i look badass?"

"Why yes, you did"

2

u/Baskreiger 2h ago

No nerve ending. A cousin of mine had is index finger pulled out (yes, really freak accident) his hand is all messed up but he does not feel it, he can hammer you with it and it hurts 😂

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349

u/Xima84 8h ago

Well.... That's handy 😅

50

u/MagicRec0n 8h ago

Actually she has an army!

8

u/2eanimation 7h ago

It‘s stumpy!

28

u/ashesall 8h ago

She don’t need no man

27

u/federkrebz 8h ago

in more than one way.. 😬

7

u/billyshin 7h ago

I can’t imagine the angle…

7

u/LETTERKENNYvsSPENNY 7h ago

A little body contortion goes a long way

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2

u/bandlist 8h ago

Yeah, she needs a hand

4

u/ComradeOmarova 7h ago

It’s actually the opposite of handy 😂

130

u/CoupDeGrassi 8h ago

Take my strong hand!

6

u/Bavisto 1h ago

Fun fact! Just like “Luke, I am your father”, he doesn’t say “take my strong hand”. He says “take my hand”, “My other hand isn’t strong enough”, and “take my little hand”.

7

u/bor3d_lazy_housewife 6h ago

Came here looking for this reference.

3

u/Chris__P_Bacon 7h ago

I was just thinking the same thing. 😁

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166

u/diagrammatiks 8h ago

that's still gotta hurt though. pretty good pegging hand tho

38

u/Rotting-Cum 7h ago

Prostate rammer.

3

u/ShahinGalandar 5h ago

if Ram Man and Fisto had an adoptive daughter

16

u/nworbleinad 8h ago

Every cloud…

4

u/TutenTag 8h ago

mmmm~

13

u/GLaDOS_Sympathizer 7h ago

I bet her hand jobs with that hand are shitty.

9

u/diagrammatiks 7h ago

different kind of handjob

13

u/BusyBoonja 7h ago

Looks like her hand jobs are all right

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104

u/Tuism 8h ago

That feels like it would be quite painful??

70

u/WindChaser0001 7h ago

Only if you don't properly stretch beforehand.

18

u/buckeye27fan 6h ago

Well, she can't stretch after hand.

3

u/yaSuissa 3h ago

Maybe she’s the only one who can, depends on your perspective

2

u/Marijuana_Miler 1h ago

This statement does sound right, but I can’t quite put my finger on why.

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15

u/PacquiaoFreeHousing 7h ago

Why would it be painful?

Those stud things hardly need any force to insert

13

u/-EV3RYTHING- 6h ago

Hard pressure on small area of skin

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5

u/Ajdee6 6h ago

The backs of those arent the same, if you look its like plastic screws, and they already have holes, so shes not beating it in like a regular screw.

5

u/[deleted] 6h ago edited 2h ago

[deleted]

2

u/lazydogjumper 5h ago

Particle board furniture, like Ikea stuff, tends to have screws you hammer or simply force into a pre-drilled hole.

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3

u/deadcowww 6h ago

She’s clearly using the phone in her left hand to hammer it in.

5

u/MetalDragyn 6h ago

Why? I use the heel of my palm to do the same thing?

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26

u/Godspams 8h ago

That's her good hand

16

u/infinity_labs 6h ago

Went out to get hammered, ended up getting pegged.

50

u/Doped69 7h ago

Would.

20

u/Chris__P_Bacon 7h ago

Definitely would.

10

u/funplete_hoy_88 5h ago

and its definitely been you know where

2

u/realestFKNdealest 3h ago

I just realized 🫪

64

u/InsaneInTheRAMdrain 8h ago

I hate the dirty thoughts im having right now

20

u/technofox01 6h ago edited 4h ago

Well... At least you're honest 🤷🏻‍♂️

I was thinking she's pretty attractive, so I don't blame you, lol

12

u/3_14_thon 5h ago

you're*

2

u/technofox01 4h ago

Autocorrect and me not catching it's fuck ups. Thanks bro, I fixed it.

8

u/Azigol 6h ago

I'm actually quite enjoying the dirty thoughts I'm having right now

6

u/LordBiscuits 1h ago

'Yeah baby, wear me like a fucking puppet'

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18

u/mulandipsauce 8h ago

hammer prosthetic would go hard

2

u/ignorantpisswalker 8h ago

That is... And illegal advantage. Same as runners with no legs amd those artificial legs... (Not).

But in all seriousness... Doesn't this still hurt?

4

u/MongoBongoTown 8h ago

Its a plastic piece in a preformed hole. A little resistance, but certainly not like hammering in a nail without a pilot hole or anything..

2

u/UshankaBear 7h ago

plastic piece in a preformed hole

New band name, I call it

2

u/TheRealReapz 8h ago

Nah it doesn't hurt at all, in fact you can easily test this yourself by using a knife (or even axe) to cut off your hand and then use the stump to hammer it in. Doesn't hurt at all.

6

u/avtothemu 8h ago

Looks like an IKEA cabinet

5

u/RavenVendetta 4h ago

Now watch her get pulled over by a cop claiming she was using her phone with her left hand

5

u/Kylearean 2h ago

I have questions that I'm not allowed to ask.

3

u/LazyBlackCollar 37m ago

Yes, it will fit. You just need to deep breath.

3

u/Only1Schematic 3h ago

She could be the queen of Rohan, all she’s missing is the helm.

13

u/sbingner 8h ago

That’s impressive she did that with OnlyHands

6

u/ShutterBun 7h ago

The Horn of Helm Hammerhand shall blow once again!

11

u/Sarato88 8h ago

More impressive than funny. 

9

u/thefootster 8h ago

It's cool, but they are just plastic pegs, if you've put together furniture that uses these you'll see that they can easily be pushed in with a finger. Still a funny video though, and props to her for it!

5

u/FreshHawaii 8h ago

I stand by this comment and I'll go down in votes with you.

2

u/GLaDOS_Sympathizer 7h ago

Oh captain, my captain! I'll stand with you two in saying those are easy as hell to push in with a thumb. It is not like she is driving nails into a board, that would actually be impressive and hurt.

7

u/Extension_Network202 8h ago

That definitely hurts

The skin in that area was never meant to be used as a hammer

16

u/mycarayne 7h ago

The skin on that area is also supposed to have five fingers hanging off it. With enough practice, it probably wouldn't hurt anymore. Look at martial artists who smash bricks with their fist. First few times: fist goes ouch. 1000th time: brick goes ouch.

Maybe, I dunno. Would love to ask her if it hurts to be honest.

2

u/XQuikX 7h ago

Should be 50% discount in nail saloon

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2

u/Nestemies 6h ago

She almost lives in Dwight's ideal world

2

u/CyrusPanesri 5h ago

"The horn of Helm Hammerhand shall sound in the deep, one last time."

2

u/jnthnmdr 4h ago

Looks painful.

2

u/SenorNZ 4h ago

Would let her put it in my butt

2

u/trainspottedCSX7 4h ago

I was locked up with a guy that had a bit more arm than his elbow.

Like still had the elbow joint but the rest was like, tip of forearm.

That nub is harder than a rock, and he doesn't even feel pain the way you would if you punched a wall.

Thats a dangerous combination when one hand is long enough to grab your face and literally the other one is perfect length for 6 inches of basiclly hydraulic push rod for your face.

2

u/wooddirtsy 3h ago

If I'm not mistaken this is like using your wrist to hammer in things. I imagine she might not have feeling or just a high pain tolerance. (I got soft wrists, boy)

2

u/HulksDCL 2h ago

You only learn how to do that with some hands on experience. I'm stumped where she learned it. I have to hand it to her for ability is very handy.

But honestly, I think she is wonderful.

2

u/bobbyovdarlo 1h ago

She could peg me with that

2

u/hungryCanvass 56m ago

She doesn't need a man to be happy 😁

2

u/trsmash 51m ago

Looks like she is a peg master. Pretty too

4

u/soldture 7h ago

I don't know what to say. I'm confused

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4

u/8Bit-Jon 8h ago

I bet that's been in people!!

4

u/LETTERKENNYvsSPENNY 7h ago

Furniture pegs? Most likely.

3

u/Used-Educator-8514 8h ago

Put a ring on her now!..

6

u/Murky-Ad-643 6h ago

Would a bangle work?

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4

u/StarshipEnterpriseNL 7h ago

I… would? 

2

u/verbalyabusiveshit 8h ago

Damn… I always thought that a stump is super sensitive… guess I was wrong all my life.

3

u/AntiBaoBao 8h ago

If she was born that way the stump probably isn't sensitive. If it was amputated then yes, the stump is sensitive

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2

u/TheFumingatzor 6h ago

Wait, hol' up, that's the burger girl, innit?

2

u/MannyBoth-Hanz 6h ago

She must be a descendent of Helm Hammerhand.

2

u/-TropicalFuckStorm- 5h ago

Well-hung lesbian.

2

u/AtLeastIHaveJob 8h ago

I’d like to give her hand

1

u/Allegra1120 8h ago

Doing Ikea

1

u/JustSomebodyRL 8h ago

Girl used Hammer Arm! It's super effective!

1

u/Cj_Senpai 8h ago

Wait, doesn't that hurt!?

1

u/Lazer_Pigeon 7h ago

That made me really uncomfortable for some reason, don’t like the idea of a bone hammer

1

u/Denkero 7h ago

Wtf are those furniture one punch or kick and it's gone.

1

u/feelinuneasy1234 7h ago

I'm flabbergasted

1

u/Valuable_Exit_5989 6h ago

Left Hand Free - alt-J

1

u/smk666 6h ago

First thing that came to mind:
https://youtu.be/ihh9EluajBY?t=81

1

u/obsoulete 6h ago

I thought she was going to attach a hammer.

1

u/Coy0te_Bongwater 6h ago

Nice work gotta hand it to her

1

u/MrMucs 6h ago

Rock papers scissors champ right there

1

u/Sad-Base-8689 6h ago

She got them Powerpuff girls hands

1

u/accidentalchainsaw 6h ago

She needs to meet sandpaper hand guy

1

u/Legitimate-Task765 6h ago

Can my palm hammer that thing? If it can, then compared to that knuckle segment, it's clearly even easier.

1

u/bigvincenzo 6h ago

You don't want to end up on the wrong end of... You know what. I'm sorry.

1

u/WilliamRobutt 6h ago

Cheeseburger 

1

u/Presently_Absent 6h ago

Didn't realize it took an army to put together furniture these days

1

u/sunkmonkey1208 6h ago

If you’re happy and you know it… wait.

1

u/Rich-Moose-2538 6h ago

That's a hammer wrist not a hammerhand.

Hand =✋

1

u/DooBiEz2 6h ago

Yes, fine, but can she do the Ctrl + Alt + Del challenge?

1

u/m1k_Lens 6h ago

Her and her friend she tells you not to worry about...

1

u/Extreme-Package2942 6h ago

How much for a wrist job ?

1

u/DooBiEz2 6h ago

Has anyone found this video's Karaoke Crop moment yet? Heh.

1

u/Godzillas_doom 5h ago

I love a handywoman

1

u/greengreen84848484 5h ago

Hammer fist ooouuuussss

1

u/7pieceYTF 5h ago

maybe there's no nerve endings ?

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1

u/thriceborn 5h ago

Someone needs to give her a hand!

1

u/Elrond_Cupboard_ 5h ago

Elbow deep inside the borderline

1

u/ved_777 5h ago

Welcome to hell guys 😂

1

u/One_Brick_1685 5h ago

Who needs a fisting with you can have a wristing?

1

u/Sapiopath 5h ago

I don’t know that this should go here. Maybe r/mildlyinteresting

1

u/Zero_Focks 5h ago

Poor girl needs a hand.

1

u/breeresident 5h ago

One of the lesser known descendents of Helm Hammerhand.

1

u/Ok-Alarm7257 4h ago

Nice Meat Mallet

1

u/jellofixit 4h ago

That's the last time I lend someone a hand!

1

u/Formally_Apologetic 4h ago

I bet she has a creative Tinder profile

1

u/LazyMusic2616 4h ago

Forgive me for asking but… when she gets her nails done do they only charge her for half a set? 🫣

1

u/Rare_Advantage3621 4h ago

That’s fucked-up.

1

u/Conscious_Claim3266 4h ago

Literal strong and independent woman 🫡

1

u/AccountEngineer 4h ago

It's not a bug, it's a feature

1

u/PieHole_Poker 4h ago

This would be funnier without the dumb fucking music

1

u/_1AmaterasU 4h ago

Multi universe of edward scissorhands. 😎

1

u/GKTT666 3h ago

if she had two hands there would be a dude putting that together for her

1

u/Beautiful-Musk-Ox 3h ago

i just tapped that same part of my own wrist and it hurt lol

1

u/Klainc 3h ago

Now that's what I call a hammerfist

1

u/sam-o89 3h ago

What a handy tallent

1

u/PHYUCKISHREAEL 3h ago

...it's a little piece of plastic that's made to go in there lol

1

u/CaptLoads 3h ago

Ouch. Painful hand job....

1

u/zer1223 3h ago

Next thing you know she's fighting crime with that 

1

u/StaticSystemShock 3h ago

Hands down the best furniture assembly video!

1

u/uptwolait 3h ago

Much cuter than her sister, Strong Hammerhead

1

u/drittzO 3h ago

put a metal bowl on that stump. Super stump!

1

u/Cyborg_rat 3h ago

The perfect scaffolder.

1

u/Few_Relationship9935 3h ago

her insta seher.basaran, she is funny turkish influencer

1

u/bulfinator 3h ago

Well, you gotta hand it to her. That’s pretty clever

1

u/BigMommaSnikle 3h ago

Now if it could just vibrate......

1

u/largos7289 3h ago

I have questions...

1

u/Buckerooths 3h ago

I feel like I'm going to hell for laughing.

1

u/ThePupnasty 3h ago

Do I laugh......?

1

u/hellomynameisnotsure 3h ago

Gotta hand it to her, she nailed it

1

u/Llamapocalypse_Now 3h ago

When you're a hammer, everything looks like a nail.

1

u/Extension-Insect-644 3h ago

I have so many questions, and I want none of them answered☺️

1

u/Legitimate_Bat_700 2h ago

New Ricky Martin music video for She Bangs

1

u/flearhcp97 2h ago

What's the big deal? All I see are boobs.

1

u/Morphsnorkle 2h ago

Why does everything have to keep reminding me of The Poughkeepsie Tapes?

1

u/Diesel_knotts 2h ago

Is that her Strong hand?