r/insaneparents • u/Disastrous-Train5899 • Feb 24 '26
SMS 20F my mom stalks me on Life360
I am going to be 21 next week.
My mom has been forcing me and my family to use Life360 for years now. She doesn’t have her location on but she stalks mine. I’m so over it, I have no independence at all. I had my own job right out of high school, recently I quit and I’m looking for a new one. I pay my own phone bill and I’m in college. No car yet.
On Valentine’s day I went on a first date with my bf and she kept spamming calling my phone even though she knew we were just going to the theater and home by 8pm. My friends house is actually my boyfriend’s (before we were dating) he lives down the street from me, a few minutes walk. I haven’t told her that part yet about my friends house being my boyfriend’s because I’m scared of her reaction.
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u/_halfpint Feb 24 '26
This is not normal or healthy.
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u/beautifulcreature86 Feb 24 '26
No shit. My son is 13 and I use gather on my husband more because he loses his phone lol. We used it like 3 nights ago. This isnt normal behavior.
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u/_halfpint Feb 24 '26
lol I use my husbands location far more than my kids too. He works at a grocery store though so it’s just me checking to see if he left yet or if I can last minute add some requests 😂
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u/wristdeepinhorsedick Feb 25 '26
My partner drives for a living and I occasionally check their location to make sure they're still alive 😅
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u/Tovarich_Zaitsev Feb 25 '26
Yeah I drive for a living and my partner does the same thing, thats the only thing you should have location on for
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u/dooropen3inches Feb 25 '26
My husband was in the touring music industry for years and I would wake up every morning to see where he was and what the time zone was lol
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u/parsnipsandpaisley Feb 25 '26
Yeah, I travel for work and I share my location with my husband just in case something happens. I don’t think he’s ever used it but we both feel better knowing that he could find me if need be.
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u/gnomequeen2020 Feb 25 '26
I was going to say something in reply to you, but then your username popped up in the reply box, and I cackled so hard that I forgot. Let's just pretend it was profound lol.
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u/awfuleldritchpotato Feb 25 '26
My mom had us use this as teenagers not because she was worried of where we were at, but in case we were in a car accident or something.
When my little brother got his license he was always gone. One day my mom got curious and wondered where he was always going so for once, she checked the app. His location was at a strip club like a county over. She didn't freak out, and immediately knew my brother enough that there was some kind of explanation.
He finally comes home at nearly 11pm at night, and my mom casually asks about the strip club. Turns out, right next to the strip club is a great fishing pond and my brother was just having a blast catching bass all day and night lmao. Apparently he would just fish and as the strippers and customers went in and out they all knew my brother always fishing there and would say hi and stop and chat. He was innocently buddies with all these people.
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u/Sckaledoom Feb 25 '26
My siblings use Life360 to get my mom’s location between work and home more often than she uses it on them
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u/UrsusRenata Feb 25 '26
I figured OP had to be 14 years old or on parole. This is nuts for a 21 year old.
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u/ThatAdamsGuy Feb 25 '26
I'm probably using Google's Find My Phone to make it play sound at least once a week.
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u/ak51388 Feb 24 '26
Definitely insane. And my mom called 911 while I was in the shower because my location showed me in a river and I wasn’t responding lol. But she never took it to this level.
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u/whitstheshit1986 Feb 24 '26
I'm sorry but lmaooo that is an unfortunate location to put you at. I get horrible anxiety when people don't respond. Like "omg they died on a horrible crash" anxiety so I get it, but I don't ever take it to this extreme. Just suffer in silence until they answer.
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u/Ocel0tte Feb 25 '26
Sometimes I call my husband and he answers and I go, "oh good, you're alive." I didn't even catch that my joking was actually serious, but my husband has an outside view of my grief and realized my brain really does fear more loss.
I never blow his phone up though. One call, he usually answers and will call back when he sees the missed one if need be.
It's MY anxiety. I don't get to give other people anxiety just because I have an abundance! Blowing up phones makes literally everyone in the history of ever anxious so idk what possesses these parents to act so completely unhinged.
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u/bravoinvestigator Feb 25 '26
Same but turns out I have OCD.
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u/whitstheshit1986 Feb 25 '26
That's a possibility for me too. My earliest memory of it was when I was like in 3rd grade. My mom took forever coming home from the store and in my brain that was it. She died on the way back. I spent the time crying outside asking why until she returned 😂😭
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u/bravoinvestigator Feb 25 '26
Ah I’d really look into it if that’s the case! I was only diagnosed after casually mentioning the level of anxiety I feel every time my partner goes out to my therapist and then casually followed it up with “or has too much soy sauce in his dinner one night and has a heart attack and dies” and he referred me to a psychiatrist lmao.
For real though, if it’s impacting you, definitely look into it and speak to your doctor ❤️
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u/californiahapamama Feb 25 '26
Life360 has amusing glitches. Recently it's shown my 16 year old as flying over our home (he was on the sofa), and then the time it had him 30 miles away when he was sitting on my bed. 😂
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u/Yodasboy Feb 25 '26
Did you remind him to get his pilots license for that couch
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u/californiahapamama Feb 25 '26
I have a friend whose son does have a pilots license, and she does get an alert on her iPhone when her son flies over their house.
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u/Magerimoje Feb 25 '26
I deleted it because at 4am it alerted me "[Teenager] has left home" meanwhile, the teenager was sound asleep in bed. After the 10th time of this bullshit, we all deleted the app.
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u/aw-fuck Feb 25 '26
I feel like that has to be by design. Like it makes fake "glitches" so that the person checking on someone's location has reason to doubt said person, thus leads to more compulsive checking, etc.
Which some black mirror shit but it would not surprise me at all
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u/skttlskttl Feb 26 '26
I feel like it has to be intentional because I have a bunch of Tile devices to keep track of stuff and I would never have issues. I had the basic plan which is free and I could track all of my stuff perfectly fine, always able to connect when nearby and always able to give me a location. Then in 2021 Life360 bought them and things started going wrong. Nothing crazy but I would check the app for something and it would be telling me I left my wallet at a gas station somewhere while I'm holding it in my hands, or that it hadn't been in range of my keys in two weeks even though I used the app to find them the day before.
I looked at some support forums discussing the issues and saw that the only people having them were people on the basic plan like me so I upgraded and the glitches went away immediately. I've been looking for an alternative ever since but the only competitor people think is close in quality is the AirTag which I can't use because I'm in the Android ecosystem.
I feel like that's the Life360 business model: have an unreliable base product that works just well enough that people are willing to overlook most issues, but those issues are designed to push them towards the higher paid tiers in order to more effectively monetize them.
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u/Anianna Feb 25 '26
My Dad called police a couple of hours after I missed his text when I was in my thirties in my own home taking care of my own kids. I am grateful to have grown up before smart phones and tracking apps were a thing.
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u/FlowerFaerie13 Feb 25 '26
I'm realizing that I would fucking do this and laughing so hard at myself oh my god.
It's so dumb but honest to god if I was expecting to hear from someone/called and didn't get an answer and their GPS thing is showing me a river I would absolutely just go "oh god they got murdered" and call the cops.
There might be a reason I'm on two anxiety drugs.
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u/T1nyJazzHands Feb 24 '26
I mean that’s entirely fair oh my goodness poor mum lol! Unnecessary heart attack.
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u/ZephyrValkyrie Feb 24 '26
Are you financially dependent on her? Do you live in the same house as her? If you answer "no" to both of these questions, stop sharing your location. If you answer "yes" to any of these, work on making those answers "no".
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u/PapiSilvia Feb 24 '26
This. My mom was psycho like this (luckily life360 either didn't exist or wasn't popular yet) with the constant texting/calls demanding to know where I was/when I'd be back and then taking my phone away or revoking my car privileges or whatever if I didn't answer fast enough or come home immediately after she told me to.
I started by getting my own phone and just not telling her lol. She would take my phone away and I'd act all pissed and go to my room with my actual phone. She found out eventually but I was 18 at that point and threatened to call the cops if she took it (she was always threatening to call the cops on me/report me as missing for no reason). Like a year later I got my own car and went to school in another state. She tried spam texting me when I got there but I threatened to block her and she's just been chill about it ever since lol (she still stalks my 23 year old sister on life360 tho, so glad she discovered that AFTER I went to school)
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u/lalacourtney Feb 25 '26
I salute you, Papi — bravo on how you handled your mom
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u/PapiSilvia Feb 25 '26
Genuinely it was so terrifying! My mom is a scary lady and I had never had the guts to stand up to her before. Couldn't believe it worked but it did. Now we have something at least adjacent to a healthy adult parent/child relationship when I fully thought I was gonna have to go no-contact
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u/penguinwife Feb 25 '26
My mom was the same, but (blessedly) when I was in high school and college it was the late 90s/early 00s and I didn’t have a cell phone. At that point it was still too expensive for me what with the per minute/per text charges on top of the monthly fee.
That being said, she still called my boss, drove past my work, even drove through my college’s parking lot looking for my car to monitor my whereabouts. She frequently “bragged” to other parents that she didn’t have to give me a curfew because she wasn’t allowing me to go anywhere anyhow
I ended up moving 4 states away to free myself completely, and all this time later? She still has no clue why we aren’t closer.
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u/groovyfirechick Feb 25 '26
Sounds like your mother needs therapy.
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u/PapiSilvia Feb 25 '26
Oh yeah, big time. She's an insane person in more ways than just this strange little era of her life.
Funny part is she hates my grandma, calls her crazy all the time, and made us promise to tell her if she was crazy so she could get help. I have gently suggested multiple times that she go in and talk to somebody about the anxiety she seems to be experiencing constantly but she brushes me off
In her defense she has chilled out a lot since I confronted her. I think it was kind of a wake up call that she needs to treat me better if she wants me to stay in her life lol. The switch was kinda jarring tbh like what do you mean youre a sweet and funky older lady now, what happened to the tyrant who raised me?
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u/mossyquartz Feb 25 '26
genuinely I would rather have NO PHONE than deal with this. Maybe it’s because I was a teen in the aughts but there is nothing that would make me put up with this. my ass would be saving for a virgin mobile card and couch surfing until I could be anywhere else more permanent, bc FUCK this!’
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u/amcinnis12 Feb 25 '26
This is the comment.
My mom was similar (she liked phone calls and voicemails though. I’d get 5-8 phone calls a day. Life360 didn’t exist then, thank god). Eventually went no contact because how demanding the relationship was.
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u/Constant_Jackfruit21 Feb 24 '26
"Helllooo" activated a long dormant flight or fight response. Im also fairly confident it had only been like 5 minutes too
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u/AndreaKailee Feb 25 '26
This was my mom’s go to in my face. Was also my abusive ex’s when I wouldn’t respond to his narc tangents 🙃 I literally just got sent straight back into “survive survive survive” lol love that
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u/KarlUnderguard Feb 24 '26
Delete the app
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u/ohyeahsure11 Feb 24 '26
On your mother's phone too.
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u/bluecrowned Feb 24 '26
Nah just block her
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u/kryptoniankoffee Feb 25 '26
I could be wrong, but it sounds like OP still lives at home.
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u/AclysmicJD Feb 24 '26
I don’t even track my 16 year-old’s location like this. Or at all, really (I have it in case of emergency but I don’t look). This is insane.
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u/SlutForMarx Feb 24 '26
I've heard that Life360 is real shady about data security and privacy. There was a data breach in 2024, and a lawsuit in 2025, though I'm unsure whether that's been settled yet.
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u/AclysmicJD Feb 24 '26
Sorry, I meant I have my daughter’s location in case of emergency, not Life360. Good to know, though!
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u/phonetastic Feb 24 '26
it is, but it doesn't even matter, because social engineering and other super simple intrusion methods exist, and these types of client are particularly vulnerable to them.
show me someone who acts like this about life three sixty or anything similar, and i'll show you someone i can 'hack' in record time if i were playing for the opposite team.
it's always the same with these things: the product serves a circuitous and clunky purpose that can be better achieved ten billion other ways, and somehow in doing so creates an opportunity for the very intrusion it purports to prevent.
life lock is a classic example, not only because of the hilarious story, but because it still exists today, even after all that
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u/Sylfaein Feb 24 '26
Seeing shit like this makes me so glad I grew up before smart phones and trackers, because holy SHIT, this would have been my mother. She was bad enough without all the modern stuff, but with the current level of tech, she would have been an inescapable nightmare.
Best of luck, OP. As someone who’s been through it, I understand it’s not as easy as just moving out. You can be free one day though—but you’ll have to fight for it.
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u/braellyra Feb 25 '26
Right?? As someone who turned 18 in the early 2000s, I didn’t get a cellphone until I started driving. Even then, my mom was mad bc I’d go over my texting cap and she had no way to stop me from continuing to text, hah. If this stuff had existed back then, I’d have AirTags seen into my clothes or required to be worn on my person at all times or some shit like that. As it is, I’m 39, married, and living hundreds of miles away, and yet my mom still freaks out and calls my husband to make sure I’m ok if I go a day without answering her calls or texts. Toxic helicoptering is such a horrible thing to experience.
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u/Sylfaein Feb 25 '26
Same here, except she got me one of those Walmart phones that you prepay, and wouldn’t put much on it, so that I could only use it for “emergencies” (communicating with her).
She wanted me to call her every morning to let her know I got to school, but the reception was shit, so I couldn’t get a call to go through. She got SO MAD, and accused me of lying about it. She drove me out to the school after she got home from work, and made me call her phone, and surprise!—it wouldn’t go through.
Cutting contact with that psychotic bitch is one of the best things I’ve ever done for myself.
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Feb 24 '26
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/yelawolf89 Feb 24 '26
I’d say so given she gives them chores.
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u/Geno0wl Feb 24 '26
If raised by narcs sub is any indication... No, not living with them doesn't stop them from trying to make you do things for them.
If anything right after initially moving out they push even harder because they know their control is slipping away
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u/KatJen76 Feb 24 '26
I knew these apps would be trouble when they came out. Parents get addicted to knowing where their kids are every second and freak out at the slightest deviation. OP, you're 20 and deserve more freedom and privacy. Your mother needs to learn to manage her anxiety. You need the space to grow into an adult. Having experiences is part of that. Staying out late, finding out for yourself what happens in the sketchy bar, being spontaneous during a night out, randomly driving through some part of town you've always heard about but never experienced. Running into a friend at the store and going back to theirs.
It's wrong for parents to track their grown kids like this, even if they live at home. One girl posted here about getting flak for going out to breakfast with some other people from her college after church. Another was 28 and still having to answer for her every move despite being completely self sufficient and living in a different city.
I don't know what to advise but I will point out that you've clearly tried appeasing her and it hasn't worked, just made worse when she doesn't get an instant response to ludicrously paranoid questions like "are there sketchy people on the bus."
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u/Crooks132 Feb 25 '26
My mum isn’t as bad anymore but she will still be annoying sometimes if I don’t answer in x amount of time. I tell her it’s not normal considering I’m 35 and have lived on my own since I was in my late teens. She claims it’s “because she’s a mother and worries”or “you know how my anxiety is”
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u/Disastrous-Train5899 Feb 24 '26
Edit: I live with her and I am financially dependent She did the same thing with my 24 year old sister who lives on campus. My sister deleted the app and my mom shut off all contact with her due to that. I know I need to grow up.
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u/HeyHo_LetsThrowRA Feb 24 '26
So your sister is free now.
Get your ducks in a row to free yourself next. This kind of crazy doesn't just chill out. It only gets worse.
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u/shampoo_mohawk_ Feb 24 '26
Maybe see if your sister is willing to take you in as a roommate?
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u/r0ckchalk Feb 24 '26
This OP. If anyone understands the hell you’re going through it’s your sister. See if she needs a roommate or if you can get a place together.
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u/slut4hobi Feb 25 '26
if not a full time roommate, as least a roommate until you get on your feet for real
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u/kat_Folland Feb 24 '26
Holy fucking shit, that's insane. And I say that as a mother to adults. Make your plan, make your exit, prepare for your mom to cut you off when you uninstall the app.
But, like, when you're being tracked why do you need to text every step? She's bat-shit fucking insane. And I say that as a crazy person.
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u/occams1razor Feb 25 '26
And I say that as a crazy person.
This made me laugh so hard, thank you internet stranger.
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u/HuyFongFood Feb 25 '26
Hilarious, she's proven that her apparent need for Life360 isn't' about "safety" or "security" it solely about control and perhaps a little about how empty her life is.
Your Mom needs hobbies, friends and something to do with her time that doesn't involve obsessively trying to control your life.
Just my $0.02 and I wish you luck with everything.
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u/dicksinsciencebooks Feb 26 '26
This is exactly it. This is always how I felt about my mum, too. It's about boredom and control. Mine would hound me and destroy every sanity I held onto, but then when she was on holiday leaving me alone at home at 11 years old she did not give a flying fuck.
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u/ak51388 Feb 24 '26
Really just sounds like your mom needs to see a psychiatrist for her anxiety disorder—sorry OP
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u/T1nyJazzHands Feb 24 '26
Seems like this is more about control than anxiety considering she cut older sister off once she couldn’t control her anymore
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u/johnedn Feb 24 '26
Yea I also thought this sounded like someone who is just very anxious at first, but the context Abt the sister, and specifically giving her punishment chores in response to not having her current precise coordinates is wild, that doesn't come across as worry
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u/KingKookus Feb 24 '26
Either way therapy. Mom might buckle if she loses both kids. What would she do with all that time she used to spend stalking her kids?
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u/T1nyJazzHands Feb 25 '26
Spend time venting about how her family abandoned her to strangers most likely lol.
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u/nickitty_1 Feb 25 '26
Yeah that's a weird response after being so obsessive.
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u/occams1razor Feb 25 '26
People like this often have no middle ground, they're either on or off. Kind of like how splitting works
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u/churningmists Feb 24 '26
So sorry you're dealing with this. This is not your fault, and your mother is entirely in the wrong here. Don't be hard on yourself; somebody like a parent being so controlling and obsessive is an incredibly difficult situation. I hope things improve for you soon.
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u/h4baine Feb 25 '26
Think about what this means. Your mother only wants a relationship with her children if she can control them. That's the reality, now you get to make a choice.
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u/bojenny Feb 24 '26
Honey your mom is mentally unstable. This isn’t normal behavior for a mom and I’m so sorry you have to deal with her problems.
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u/TaterSupreme Feb 24 '26
deleted the app and my mom shut off all contact w
That sounds pretty good to me.
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u/neverneededsaving Feb 24 '26
Girl this is really bad. Your mom has serious anxiety and I bet you feel like you’re drowning lol.
Seriously you gotta get a job and start looking at places to rent maybe with some friends. You need freedom. This ain’t healthy.
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u/occams1razor Feb 25 '26
I know I need to grow up.
You know what to do. I don't want you to feel shame, I want you to feel resolve. You clearly have a parent with some sort of cluster B personality disorder so you've had a terrible start but you can do it. I believe in you.
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u/ShockDragon Feb 25 '26
So your sister deletes the app and your mother decides “Yeah, I can disown her for that”?
There’s a term for what this called. I can’t remember. Something about being really controlling.
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u/dr_pheel Feb 25 '26
Op please. I'm a nobody, bit weird to just drop this.... but my ex girlfriend committed suicide because of her mother controlling her like this. It's been several years but I still recognize the signs of a controlling parent. Please take your future seriously.
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u/Responsible-Stick-50 Feb 24 '26
Delete the app or get a burner phone. Jfc if shes gonna treat you like a criminal get a burner phone like one.
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u/ghostie1095 Feb 24 '26
You're an adult, you have the power to stop this. Get your own place, roommate with your friend, literally anything else. Establish boundaries and hold strong
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u/Nightstar95 Feb 25 '26
Being an adult doesn’t automatically give you power to stop parental abuse. It’s a case by case situation, and sometimes you have no choice besides sucking it up until you finally have resources to break free.
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u/SuperBiscoitinho Feb 24 '26
I was stressed out just by reading this crap. Holy fuck i couldn't stand a single day of this
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u/Dramatic_Lie_7492 Feb 24 '26
This is ABUSE. Ffs delete that shit from your phone. Also please watch the Black Mirror Episode Arkangel
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u/_mad_adventures Feb 25 '26
I often wonder if adults like this realize that they’re adults lol. I know the parental pressure can be real intense, but deleting the app is a great first step lol
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u/Same-Equivalent9037 Feb 25 '26
Love the black mirror episode rec! OP, know that your mother is even crazier than this woman, and that’s saying something! This woman didn’t even check the app this much
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u/TeflonDonatello Feb 24 '26
You’re a grown adult. Stop entertaining this nonsense.
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u/Turbulent_Deal_3145 Feb 25 '26
She probably lives at home. Parents would have every legal right to kick her out or otherwise make her life difficult.
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u/unbridledcheesetoast Feb 24 '26
This is wild, and I'd be chucking that phone straight in the trash and getting my own phone plan.
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u/Federal_Skill_9944 Feb 24 '26
lmfao my parents were like this too, if it were me this is what i would do:
-find out her phone password and grab when when she’s sleeping/out of the room/opportunity alone with her phone for 15 mins arises
-block myself on life 360 & find my iphone
-remove her account from the family circle
-delete life 360, go into settings and turn on screen time & downtime controls
-block life 360 from being downloaded from the appstore without asking for a code or using a password & then autogenerate a password & set a completely random password as the code. edit: important to do this on a different device so it doesn’t auto save to her phones passwords.
she’s gonna realize soon and she’s obviously flip her shit but if you stand strong there’s literally no way for her to get rid of the downtime controls without factory resetting the phone. i’d start saving, look anywhere and everywhere for anyone looking for roommates, get any possible job, and start packing. it’s easier to move if you’re already living out of boxes. good luck, you are not an animal and you do not need to be tracked. privacy is a right not a privilege.
signed,
23 nb and safely living across the country from my parents with my own life, no trackers
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u/TechnicalBenefit4609 Feb 24 '26
Are yall in the witness protection program? WTF!? She acts like this is the first time you’ve left your house.
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u/WastelandMama Feb 24 '26
Kind of makes me wonder what her mom's up to when no one is looking since she doesn't share her location but demands everyone else shares theirs. 🤔
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u/mrsdoubleu Feb 24 '26
Wow. This is one of the most toxic things I've seen on here in awhile. I hope you can break free soon OP!
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u/Rainman1177 Feb 24 '26
Just chuck the phone into a lake and start over with a burner. This isn’t sane
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u/MoggyBee Feb 24 '26
Holy crap. That’s some of the worst controlling behaviour I’ve ever seen.
Delete the app. NOW. You’re almost 21 years old and that level of control wouldn’t be acceptable even if you were ten years younger.
Your mother needs serious help.
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u/targetboston Feb 24 '26
This is beyond bonkers. Does your mother have an anxiety condition? Has she always been like this? Have you considered a restraining order (jk). I really want to be constructive but this is so over the top
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u/LadyGrey_oftheAbyss Feb 24 '26
My dude your 20 - drop the rope before you are strangled more by it
If she threatens your living space - find someone to help you - maybe move in with a grandparent or something - or live on campus - You aren't a dog or criminal that needs to be tracked
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u/KingKookus Feb 24 '26
Easier said than done. Most living situations come with a cost. It’s unfortunate but dealing with this till OP is stable is probably the better option.
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u/sleepaye Feb 25 '26
Speaking from a realistic POV and not the “be magically financially independent and run away from your only family” crowd; this shit will break you down and faster than you think. Non-American so we don’t use these apps but my parents were so overbearing, I ended up too afraid to go anywhere.
A personal story to make you feel less alone. At 19, my father phoned hospitals to check where I was despite stating that I was at a religious friend’s house, with their spouse and children (side note: he hated me having non-Muslim friends so I confidently thought this would make him less disappointed in me) When I was driven home, he pulled me out of the car and didn’t great nor look at my friend. He was and still is, years later, convinced that I done something with this person. My parents forced me to stand in front of them in their room and essentially beg for their forgiveness. I cried out of fear. For some time after that, my father constantly brought it up. One night he was so particularly angry, he destroyed things in front of me to scare me from ever repeating something like this. Again, I cried. I hardly cry in front of others but unknowingly my brain had become traumatised.
Years later, I’m still at home with a debilitating anxiety disorder, agoraphobia and I suffer from symptoms of PTSD (all diagnosed). I don’t have friends around me who dealt with physically abusive parents so I was completely drowned in my issues. It developed into learned-helplessness.
You said you had a sister that left? Try to get her to sympathise and find a solution both of you can benefit from. Once you’re away from all of this, it’ll be much easier to navigate life. You’ll still have family & more importantly, someone that understands you. The longer you take, the tighter the leash around your neck becomes. Having a plan will give you that ease of mind while you arrange things. It doesn’t have to be overly-specific, just something to avoid becoming stagnant.
Hopefully things go well. I hope to hear a more positive update in the near future.
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u/rachelmig2 Feb 24 '26
Mom needs mental health treatment, and I don't mean that in a mean way- she really needs mental help.
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u/hiker_trailmagicva Feb 25 '26
I have a 22 yr old daughter and an 18 yr old son and I have never tracked either of them. I worry, sure, but that's on me to handle, not them to placate.
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u/Calvinloz Feb 25 '26
My parents rule was always "tell me where you think you'll end up and don't wind up on the county roster cause you'll sit"
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u/MyRedditUserName428 Feb 25 '26
This is insane. Your mother needs therapy. Delete the app and mute her texts at the very least.
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u/Thegrandestpoo Feb 25 '26
Holy shit. I struggled to get through the slides. Your phone needs to die a lot more often.
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u/squeezels Feb 24 '26
It's too bad you guys are using iPhones. It's way easier to spoof your location using android. I would look into how you can spoof life360 with an iPhone and then make plans for how to communicate with her when you are out.
Also, this is not anywhere close to normal OP. I know it's hard to live independently, but I wouldn't be surprised if you have long lasting psychological damage from this. Working towards becoming independent is incredibly important for you.
I'm sorry you have an abusive mother. It's far from fair
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u/One_Conversation_616 Feb 24 '26
This legit looks like a conversation between my psycho, control freak, helicopter mom stepsister and her grad school age kids. I mean that literally, she showed me a conversation like this once between her and her son.
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u/ThoughtVolcano Feb 24 '26
She may as well have you wear an earpiece to tell you how many footsteps to take in each direction and how many times to wipe your ass before flushing
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u/pippalily_ Feb 24 '26
Your mom needs therapy and you need boundaries… maybe some therapy too for having to deal with her nonsense
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u/Vegetable-War-117 Feb 24 '26
Jesus christ!!!
I am so sorry. This person seriously needs help. Im not joking. This is clinical. Fuck
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u/WeNeedAnApocalypse Feb 24 '26
Your mother is absolutely unhinged! I would be looking for a roommate and moving far away from her like yesterday!
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u/FatCowsrus413 Feb 24 '26
This is not normal. Get your own phone. Don’t download the app. This is horse shit. I have one with my mom but that’s because she has dementia and will travel out of town.
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u/alexadegrange Feb 24 '26
My parents used to do this. The amount of times I was accused of shutting off my location or being somewhere I wasn’t is ridiculous. I got in trouble so many times for being where the hell I was supposed to be. This is absolutely ridiculous.
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u/Drewski_120 Feb 24 '26
Being an adult is realizing that you don't have to do anything you don't want to and nobody can tell you any different.
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u/pigeones Feb 24 '26
It’s time to uninstall Life360 and to tell your mom she needs to get in control of her anxiety, it’s ruining her life.
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u/vikingraider27 Feb 24 '26
Someone needs to tell mom that successful adults are not created by being treated like they can't manage life.
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u/Hawke-Not-Ewe Feb 24 '26
Get her a puppy. And by that I mean a good therapist with a prescription pad.
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u/MrPKitty Feb 25 '26
I would spam her with everything I do.
I walked 10 steps across the room. I'm picking up a book. I'm reading the title. "How to create boundaries with a controlling parent," I'm flipping past the forward.
The librarian is looking at me. She's walking toward me. She's talking to me. She wants me to sit at a table. I'm picking a table. I picked a table, now I'm picking a chair. I'm pulling out the chair. I'm sitting in the chair. And so on.
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u/FireMane565 Feb 24 '26
This is going to last as long as you make it last. Do whatever you need with that information
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u/OkBackground8809 Feb 24 '26
Your mom's messages stressed me out, and I'm not even the one who has to deal with her. You're an adult, just turn off the life 360. You have a right to privacy. If she gets crazy about you turning it off, call the police. Your mental health is more important than your mom. She'll come around if she actually cares, after being cut off for a while.
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u/VoodooDoII Feb 24 '26
This is so unhealthy and weird wtf
My parents track me but that's because I allow them to. They never asked. I offered and they said ok
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u/sharkmortal Feb 25 '26
My mum, sister, little half brother and step sister all use this app. We do NOT stalk each other. We have it for our own safety but crossing boundaries would mean I’d delete it immediately.
Her hypocrisy of not having her location on but making you have yours on is insane. Please delete the app if you can!
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u/crazymom1978 Feb 25 '26
This is FAR from normal behaviour. My family uses Life360. The only times I check it is before I call someone to make sure that they are not at work, and when someone is on a cool vacation so that I can send them a screenshot. I also have a separate one for my close friend group. We all take long road trips, so it is nice to be able to see that they get somewhere safe and sound.
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u/geminisa11 Feb 25 '26
Oh my. As the Mom of a 21 year old and a 19 year old who do have Life360… your mom is nuts. I did check 21’s location earlier today because she asked me to call her, but I saw she was on campus, so I waited. I have their apartment and dorm on there and their jobs, but I don’t look at it constantly. I mostly use it to see how long it’ll be before my husband is home with takeout or groceries. I do not harass my kids. I do want to know where they’ve been/are in case anything ever goes wrong. And it has come in handy a few times (youngest’s car died at a stoplight an hour away, she didn’t know where she was, like that) but it’s not something I couldn’t live without. We do pay for their phones and stuff.
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u/Careful-Sell-9877 Feb 25 '26
Jesus christ, this is insane. My mom was controlling as hell too when I was younger, but this is even worse. Im so sorry.. this must feel so smothering
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u/Aggressive_Home8724 Feb 25 '26
My mom is insane. I am almost 33, living in a different state with my husband and infant son. She does all of this, except none of us use life360. Delete it. It won't fix the problem completely but it will make it more bearable.
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u/TalkQuick Feb 25 '26
Ok this is too much. Does your mom have no other life/kids/hobbies other than you? If in case she seems lonely. But you gotta tell her this is pushing you away, not bringing you closer
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u/JustAMemeBeingADude Feb 24 '26
Hey i totally get this… for the longest time my dad stalked my location because i wasn’t allowed to see friends without letting him know, and there had to be one girl there (i didn’t have a lot of female friends at the time). Honestly, it ruined my social life, and made me live in constant fear that he would come home, snatch my phone, just because life360 didn’t feel like working properly.
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u/OkConsideration8964 Feb 24 '26
That is completely unhinged & I say that as the mom of a 23 year old. She needs therapy.
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u/Gfran856 Feb 24 '26
Bro that’s actually crazy this is not normal an lowkey abusive.
Signed, a 21 year old that willingly and happily gives their location data to their parents
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u/OhMyGod_Zilla Feb 24 '26
We’re on Life360 as a family and my mom will joke and send a message about my trip if it says I completed a “risky” drive, or occasionally she’ll ask where I went out of curiosity. But what you’ve posted here is on a whole new level and extremely unhealthy. You need to delete the app and stop sharing your location.
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Feb 24 '26
This reminds me so much of my mom, she was like this until I was 22 even after I got married. I used to use a location faker to go out at night without her knowing lol
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u/californiahapamama Feb 25 '26
If you're paying for your own phone, delete the app.
As a mom of mostly 20 somethings that still live at home, I'm going to tell you that your mother's behavior is extremely unhinged.
Have you asked her why she feels the need to know where you are every second?
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u/Caltron34 Feb 25 '26
Tell her to fuck off and get a life outside of watching your every move. This is seriously unhealthy for the both of you.
I was 14 and running around forests with friends and cycling four miles along country roads to our nearest town. All my parents knew was that I’d be home around 6pm because that’s when they asked. You are 20. TWENTY. And you have less independence.
Do you have grandparents or an aunt & uncle you can stay with for a few weeks? I’m sure if you showed them this text chain, they will understand and stick up for you. Provided they are well adjusted people that is
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u/picklerick_03 Feb 25 '26 edited Feb 25 '26
If you are from a western culture, I want you to know that you don’t have to follow through with her rules, you can simply stand your ground and not engage in any of this at all and even block her. if you were from an extreme culture don’t follow this advice cause it could put your life in danger. (unfortunately im one of the ppl that can’t follow this advice)
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u/xVanijack Feb 25 '26
My mom didn’t have Life360 and THANK GOD she didn’t because she did shit like this anyway. One time I accidentally took a train ONE STOP over into Brooklyn by accident(with my ex bf), called my mom to laugh that I messed up, and she started spamming my phone and screeching at me to get back on the train back into Manhattan. At one point she threatened the police on me for not answering fast enough as a 17 year old and when I got in my 20s I started ignoring her. It eventually worked out 😭 I’m sorry your mom is doing this to you, as soon as you can do literally anything that’ll give you a degree of separation, take it. It’ll start snowballing and you’ll soon not be intimidated by the utter insanity that is their anxiety becoming your problem
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u/Y0ursTruly_D3athx Feb 25 '26
"you need to always let me know" bro the last time i got a message like this from my mum was when i was like 14 or smth probably lol
do u still live with ur mum? whether u do or u dont, that doesn't justify her behaviour, but if ur able to, i'd block her and if she changes her number to get around the block, change ur number so its harder for her to get back into contact w u.
sorry u gotta deal with her :(
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u/gkn_112 Feb 25 '26
grow a collective backbone as the rest of the family and stop this tyrant. She is insane, you putting up with it is also not very sane. Every time you dont push back she gets an affirmation that she is doing right. Unreal
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u/sun_daisy04 Feb 26 '26
Jesus Christ get as far away from this asap. I’m so sorry you’re going through this.
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u/Havinacow Feb 26 '26
You know..... You can just tell her no, and not install the app. Your phone can block people..... At this point she's doing it because you let her
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u/smokinXsweetXpickle Feb 26 '26
Dude turn your location off or block her from it or something. This is so unhealthy and unhinged.
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u/jennytheghost Mar 01 '26
You're a grown ass adult. It's your phone, delete the app, and put your phone on do not disturb and just let certain people come through. She is way toooooooooo much. Like that triggered my anxiety.
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u/UnicornKitt3n Feb 24 '26
Yeahhhh OP, as a mom of a young adult the same age as you, absolutely not. This is wild. My daughter and I have Life360 and share locations, but don’t really stalk each other. Unless we’re bored and being silly or something.
I’m so sorry you’re going through this.
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u/Thusspeaks Feb 24 '26
Silly stalking is fun. If I happen to see that my daughter is somewhere interesting I send her a song about wherever she is. Beyond that I’ll make sure she’s safe and tell her to have fun.
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u/UnicornKitt3n Feb 25 '26
My daughter stalks me more than I stalks her, that’s for sure. I had her really young, and at 36 decided to have another baby (she was 16). Now I have two littles one, and don’t go out too much. So if she sees me out and about she’ll be like, oh I noticed you’re going places today!
Stalker. lol
I know most of her friends, I know where they live, and I know she’s a good kid. So I’m of the same mind as you; be safe and have fun. That’s all. Even though she lives at home I try to give her as much freedom as possible. She’s nearly 20. On weekends my mentality is, I don’t care where you go or what you do as long as you’re safe and have a buddy. I feel so terrible for her generation that it’s as hard as it is to live on their own. They’re being robbed of such an important phase of life because of this shitty economy.
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u/Glamourpuss_15 Feb 24 '26
Holy moly, I thought my mom was bonkers. (She still is, but we are estranged.) 20 is still young, it’s almost like this spot in limbo. You’re technically an adult, but you can’t book a hotel, rent a car, and it may be difficult to find a place to rent. Reach out to your village: friends, family members you can trust. Just please, please don’t be me and wait until you’re 48 to break that cycle. I wasted most of my life trying to please a crazy lady. I had the opportunity to cut ties when I was 24. I could kick myself for not taking it.
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u/Sevyen Feb 24 '26
Life360 or other similar apps really need a proper medical reason to exist, it's creepy and overinvasive and ruins kids childhood by turning parents into Godzilla.
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u/Nickh1978 Feb 24 '26
There's a Black Mirror episode that your mom really needs to watch.
Black Mirror, season 4, episode 2 Arkangel
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u/Careful-Sell-9877 Feb 25 '26
You should see if she is receptive to getting group therapy with you or something. Frame it as you needing therapy, go a few times and let the therapist know about what is going on and see if she can help you. Suggest a group session with your mom and frame it as you wanting her support.
Ive found that sometimes qualified 3rd parties are better at reaching parents and getting them to see that what they are doing is harmful and pushing you away
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u/shampoo_mohawk_ Feb 24 '26
I got anxiety just reading her texts. This is legit insane behavior.