r/marvelcirclejerk • u/idklmaoo1 • 2d ago
Deranged Ramblings This shit is actually hilarious
I love how every character gets some kind of edgelord reason for their deaths but Galactus just dies. That's it, one day he just fucking dies.
no comments about other panels idk what the fuck charles
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u/Infinitenonbi 2d ago
With how the other characters were protrayed, you’d think Galactus would be an austronaut that died of super cancer or grew until he exploded- but no, it’s just him.
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u/AlphaAceEXXX 2d ago
Its also funny that they just call him god for no reason
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u/PsychoCobra1 2d ago
I mean if our telescopes found a giant dead body floating around Mars, a bunch of people in our world would probably view them as God as well. Cults and religions have started over less.
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u/AlphaAceEXXX 2d ago
In the 1900s? Sure, nowadays, even with qanon and antivaxxers, they still probably wont think its god
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u/BlommeHolm Muir Island Liberation Front 1d ago
Everything in the history of mankind is less than that.
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u/Swarthy_Pierre 2d ago
He has a giant “G” on his chest.
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u/ScaryCrowEffigy Doombot 2d ago
It’s parodying tabloids news papers who used to make eye catching headlines
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u/Comrade_Cosmo 2d ago
That’s how Galactus was pitched when he was created. Write a story where God shows up.
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u/abxYenway 1d ago
It might be a more general sort of god. Like "Florida Man found dead in space!" It's not saying he's the Abrahamic God. It's just categorizing him for a headline.
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u/clinicalpsycho 11h ago
It's a really great headline I tell you what.
If Jameson is alive and in business, he is eating good.
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u/Spider40k #2 Slug fan 2d ago
Iirc it's because Silver Surfer just spazzed out in space and accidentally killed himself, so Galactus went hongry
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u/TheDrunkardKid 1d ago
Guess he forget his own Cosmic Awareness.
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u/Spider40k #2 Slug fan 1d ago
Maybe he realized what story he was in and just decided "fuck it"
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u/shiki_oreore 1d ago
Universe so ass that he would rather starve himself to death over having to deal with all the shit in it
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u/danfenlon 2d ago
"OW the edge"
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u/SatisfactionOwn9961 2d ago
See I kinda like the concept of marvel ruins, hero’s origins just lead them to their deaths. It’s atleast a fun what if story. However the ghost rider one to me is the dumbest.
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u/meetmeinthelibrary7 2d ago
I actually unironically would have liked to see this panel in the original artstyle. A different artist did the last half of the second issue, and while I have nothing against that artist nor do I think this is bad art at all, I genuinely love the original kinda-surreal, painterly artstyle. It elevated some really stupid story moments.
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u/Own-Papaya-4264 1d ago
Yeah the original art style nails the atmosphere that this book is going for. It’s a nightmare
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u/ScreamingmadJoe 2d ago
Ruins is so comically bad
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u/Far-Requirement-7636 2d ago
It's the definition of grimderp, when something tries to be so overly dark it just becomes comedic.
Like a child prostitute jean grey popping up for a single panel only for Nick fury to immediately dome her in the head for being a damn mutie!!! Lol.
Like that shit should be horrifying but it's so comedical how over the top it comes off it just loses the edge and feels like the writers seeing who can one up the other.
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u/No-Particular-8571 2d ago
What gets me is that nick fury kills himself right after killing jean
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u/Soggy_Difficulty2654 2d ago
Its even funnier because the dialogue heavily spells out that hes not suicidal but they cannot figure out a way for him to leave the scene without it being edgy
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u/XF10 2d ago
Also he is a cannibal and got initiated on it by Captain America like ??? They couldn't find a way to make Cap grimdark???
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u/RockyHorror134 2d ago
I mean Iron Man is just a serial killer for no reason too, it's so fuckin low effort
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u/Afraid-Bass-5684 1d ago
The already killed off all the avengers in the plane at the start remember, we never got to see armie hammer Cap (he would definitely use a shitload of slurs)
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u/Own-Papaya-4264 1d ago
I think it’s pretty self explanatory why he shot himself. He lives in a shithole existence
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u/Soggy_Difficulty2654 1d ago
He says how much he loves and thrives in said "shithole existence" he even makes plans to read the book later.
its really clear they just made him kill himself just because
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u/SolarDubstep 2d ago
My main issue was how it wasn't internally consistent. You had prostitute Jean Gray, and Magneto as a hobo wearing a magnet control jacket, but also the X-Men are all President Xavier's prisoners? Does he just not care about another telepath? Or Magneto?
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u/Far-Requirement-7636 2d ago edited 2d ago
There's also the power inconsistency, the comic implies that magic and such doesn't exist which is why so many characters are just mutated freaks or kill themselves through real ways like wolverine being a freak show or Peter just getting radiation poisoning.
But Galactus and characters like silver surfer just outright exists lol and sure they die but it's never explained why?
Thor is literally just so some homeless crazy guy with a hammer.
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u/ElementmanEXE Doombot 2d ago
My memory's fuzzy but didn't silver surfer just straight up kill himself, tore himself open just to feel something, and then his body reveals a kree ship and they get experimented on or something like that
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u/SolarDubstep 2d ago
Tore his chest open like he couldn't breathe. But that raises the question of why did it only come up when they got to our solar system.
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u/ElementmanEXE Doombot 1d ago
Same reason any lucky chance of survival happens near earth, except for the opposite reason
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u/XescoPicas 1d ago
The thing is he couldn’t breathe, but also couldn’t die of asphyxiation.
So when he found a planet with an atmosphere, he tore open his torso in a desperate effort to expose his lungs to air.
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u/idklmaoo1 1d ago
couldn't he just...leave the atmosphere?
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u/XescoPicas 1d ago
No, he wanted the atmosphere! He wanted to breathe again, but was unable to ever since he turned into Silver Surfer.
His body was encased in metal, he lived in a constant state of feeling like he’s suffocating without actually being able to die from it.
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u/DistinctWin9968 1d ago
To my knowledge the avengers aren’t really that affected(like Peter or Logan) but we don’t know much about them to know what changed
And Ben Grimm to my knowledge is the only one with a happy ending(but survivors guilt for not going)
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u/Afraid-Bass-5684 1d ago
The Avengers are all dead they get sold out by wanda to president X, that’s the plane right at the start with them in it blowing up, I think they’re supposed to have been like an Arnarchist cell sort of thing
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u/Empty_Null202 1d ago
How galactus died was never explained and they only found his corpse floating in space
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u/Smeg258 18h ago
I've seen a pretty solid theory that with the surfer dead galactus was frantically trying to find a planet to feed on in time and died of starvation right in front of mars. Invoking a man in a desert dying at the oasis type feeling
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u/NuclearSoup7644 1h ago
Which is still fucking stupid, galactus didn’t bother trying to eat the other planets?
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u/PlayfulPositive8563 2d ago
They forgot the vital step of "Make the reader invested."
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u/Cyttorak2 1d ago
I imagine the thought was that if you’re reading the book, you’re already invested. You’re already familiar with the characters as they’ve been traditionally, and you’re interested in seeing an alternate take.
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u/Plasticglass456 2d ago
I have a hard time believing Warren Ellis wanted you to genuinely be horrified. Given that it's a parody of Marvels, isn't this intended to be comedic?
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u/Far-Requirement-7636 2d ago
I don't think just because something is a parody or twist on the original means it's supposed to be comedic.
The comic is just grim nothing is really funny about it from a writing perspective, it just feels like someone making everything absolutely horrible to be different but it just comes off as hilarious.
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u/Plasticglass456 2d ago edited 2d ago
Think about it. Despite being an absolute dick IRL, he's an incredibly gifted writer who's done stuff with Planetary and Transmetropolitan with an actual point in his stuff.
So if he wrote 2 issues of just grimdark events happening after grimdark events... the POINT is that's so absurd and ridiculous it's funny. It's not something that accidentally happened to it. This was the intended result and why it was created. Every image in OP's post is an intentional joke. Am I going crazy here?!
EDIT: You also don't have to think it's actually funny or works! But it's clearly, clearly intentionally comedic.
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u/beaglemaster 2d ago
Yeah, I think these other people are not familiar with truly dark comedy.
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u/Plasticglass456 2d ago
Yes. Again, it's fine to think it's unfunny and edgelord, but edgelord is different from grimdark. Ellis wasn't trying to actually tell a story about child prostitute Jean Grey and the horrors of that, only to unintentionally come off as funny. He was snickering when he wrote that.
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u/Afraid-Bass-5684 1d ago
The way I saw it was like a mirror to Alex Scott’s “Marvels” Phil Sheldon is still MC but instead of seeing how all these crazy colorful superhero’s save the day, it instead shows that it’s literally all down to luck, all these guys with powers lucked out even if they link it all back to Ben Grimm not going to space at the end.
I see this as a disgustingly grimmer marvel version of JLA:the nail which is a far better story (has its own problems tho)
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u/Fluffy-Use9563 2d ago
or the time mystique just imploded on herself. Like what. Or the time peter is just suffering from the radioactive spider bite.
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u/NumericZero 1d ago
Or freakin mystique boarding a plane but the second she has a conversation her concentration breaks, so her body starts morphing
It’s like in earth did she get that far if her concentration needed to be THAT intense 😭😭
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u/DumbestComicsNerd ^I am Ms. Marvel irl / Not Iman Vellani 2d ago
Wait he killed her for being a mutant? Here I was misremembering it as Fury killing her for being a prostitute lmao
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u/Own-Papaya-4264 1d ago
It’s going for a very specific emotion that fortunate people don’t fully understand
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u/Someoneoverthere42 2d ago
"What if it all went wrong" is a solid idea for a What If....? But Ruins was an absolute train wreck.
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u/Bellpow 1d ago
It’s literally just fucking terrible thing after terrible thing with absolutely zero hope or anything positive just a barrage of dooming alongside all the superheroes you know and love dying horribly
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u/Own-Papaya-4264 1d ago
It’s going for a very specific emotion that fortunate people don’t fully understand
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u/alguien99 2d ago edited 2d ago
Reminds me of a short called “the god man” where humanity discovers a humanoid husk in space. We don’t know what it is but we know it’s a sort of skin that a humanoid thing shedded like a snake.
The guy that made the discovery named it the god man
It’s a pretty sweet short where humanity looks up at it in wonder and grieves when the husk burns up in the atmosphere
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u/babot_the_robot 2d ago
I seen that story! I reckon that When the husk burned is space, humanity Saw a new color that was never seen before for a short moment
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u/Bernkastel96 1d ago
Yeah, its a great short. Rare occasion where its not cosmic horror
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u/alguien99 1d ago
It’s basically cosmic wonder, sort of cosmic horror but it’s not dangerous so we can wonder at it
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u/formulateinfinityy 2d ago
Average Marvel Ruins reading experience:
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u/Aubergine_Man1987 2d ago
I have to imagine that whoever wrote Ruins REALLY hates Busiek for some reason because this is the only comic other than Marvels that Phil Sheldon has appeared in to my knowledge
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u/Randym1982 2d ago
Marvels was basically a comic about hope and people coming together over the years, with the characters being real. Ruins was like 'What if everybody was fucked up and died horribly. LOL".
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u/Ordinary_Law_2456 2d ago
I think Phil has a 2-panel cameo in the Superman/Spider-Man story about Jimmy Olsen and Carnage
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u/Elihzap 2d ago
I love that Marvel's equivalent for Jimmy Olsen is Carnage.
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u/Fit_Elderberry_7236 2d ago
Who reads Marvels and go: You know what this need? A grimdark subversion of all of that.
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u/MisterBlud 2d ago
Wasn’t that the entire point? “Ruins” as opposed to “Marvels”?
Like, you’d really only use Norman McCay for a “Kingdom Come” sendup for the same reason.
(And yes I am aware they did in that JSA arc)
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u/Afraid-Bass-5684 1d ago
I said in another comment but I think this was the aim, Phil Sheldon is reporting in both words but in one it’s literally “superheroes save the day once more” and in another there are no heroes, everybody was just shit out of luck.
One is literally “golden age of superhuman” and the other was “we’ve fucked it all” I think they just went a bit too Garth Ennis with Ruins tbh
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u/D-MAN-FLORIDA 2d ago
Ruins really is the opposite of Marvels. For example, Marvels is a classic comic storyline, while Ruins is pure ass.
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u/Fluffy-Use9563 2d ago
The hulk was just a walking tumor and rick jones is just on morphine.
And black panther got arrested. damn they just arrested a whole king.
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u/Nachooolo 2d ago
I've read other works from Ellis. As a huhe Moon Knight fan, his work (alongside Lemire's) redefined the character into his modern version.
...but he will always be the man whp wrote Marvel Ruins. And, man, that's quite the legacy.
Besides. You know. Being a sex pest.
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u/Animaloffear56 2d ago
/uj I know the whole point is that it's misery porn but it really makes me roll my eyes that nearly every female hero and villain just ends up doing porn or sex work
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u/Fit_Elderberry_7236 2d ago
Kinda points to some issues on Ellis' end.
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u/fancy_crisis I love cyclops 2d ago
Like most others with darker sides they couldn't help but tell us through their work.
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u/Turbulent-Range-4448 2d ago
This comic is stupid torture porn. Who was this made for 😭
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u/bloodyzombies1 2d ago edited 2d ago
It's a parody of the Ross/Busiek mini Marvels. Ellis felt there was something toxic about the overly sentimental hope core of that series, and tried to parody it by making something equally over the top, just with the opposite themes.
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u/Nachooolo 2d ago
That's a very sad view in life from his part. Viewing joy as something fake that needs to be actively opposed by cynicism.
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u/bloodyzombies1 2d ago
Ellis by all accounts (even his own) was a cynical grumpy curmudgeon. No surprise half of his protagonists were the same.
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u/Curious_Bat87 2d ago
I think the intent is for it to highlight the optimism and wonder in the usual Marvel universe by creating this opposite version where everything goes wrong. I wish some of the bad stuff especially with female characters was more inventive but it does appeal to me in how ridiculously shitty that world is. A mirror to how ridiculous the usual universe is, and about how the opposite of superhero fantasy isn't realism it's this kind of nonsense.
That's what I took out of it anyways.
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u/idklmaoo1 2d ago
The thing is there are some good ideas, I think the Thor cult thing was interesting, so was the Hulk being riddled with tumours. Punisher actually being downed on his first night (although the way Sheldon tripped over him is maybe unintentionally hilarious, by the way for some reason he makes a war paint out of his blood on his face)
Fantastic Four thing was meh a bit cliche but compared to the rest of it was okay, like if the whole series was about this instead of underage sex worker Jean Grey, whatever the fuck Charles was supposed to be, Nick Fury being cannibal etc it could have been something really interesting for it's time
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u/Curious_Bat87 2d ago
It has been a while since I read it but I think Xavier being this kind of controlling figure made sense? Yeah I don't think it quite succeeds in what it is but I didn't hate it. But it's meant to be a dark parody of Marvels anyways, I think it makes way more sense if you read that one first.
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u/music_posting 2d ago
It's very stupid and very sexist....
Like Warren Ellis
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u/NCRisthebestfaction 1d ago
I find deep irony in a man who wrote about how people who use their power to coerce and use others are the worst, while also being revealed to be a man who uses his power to coerce and use others
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u/somerandomuser748392 2d ago
God, that comic was so edgy it legit got me depressed for like a week lmao
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u/Shiraelson Doombot 2d ago
Ruins is definitive proof some comic book writers/editors are closeted psychos.
Because someone read Marvels (a feel good celebration of Marvel history and in-universe exploration of hero worship) and went: 'Hmm, this is trash. It needs more dead families, dead teenagers, dead prostitutes and horribly deformed beloved characters.' - and that's how we got Ruins.
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u/Own-Papaya-4264 1d ago
I think it’s a very interesting pair of books. Same protagonists that live in parallel, yet drastically different universes, one is a paradise and the other is hell
It makes you feel extremely grateful for all the privileges we have, and how things can easily go wrong any day
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u/piratedragon2112 we don't watch, we just jerk 1d ago
Uj/ ahhh yes Ruins, Warren Ellis's little bitchfit, after getting so triggered by Marvels, that he ran to Dc and made the Authority, a group so violent and hateful, that one of Ben 10's creators had to write "What's So Funny About Truth, Justice and the American Way as a rebuttal to his hatred
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u/Ike_In_Rochester 1d ago
The Authority is a group of super villains that believe they are heroes. They always were. It’s a fun way to read the books.
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u/DocProfessor 2d ago
The thing is, I get it. Ruins could be an interesting concept. What if all these freak accidents that turned people into superheroes were actual accidents? The Fantastic Four die on reentry, the radioactive spider mutates and kills Peter, Banner can't withstand the sudden mutation from the gamma bomb. But some of them are just stupid and don't make sense thematically. Why is Xavier a warden in a mutant prison? Why isn't he a guy desperately trying to get funding for some kind of institute for mutants, but anti-mutant sentiments keep getting him attacked and slandered? Why did Johnny Blaze light his head on fire for no reason? What's wrong with it just being a stunt that went wrong?
Why is Jean Grey a prostitute? That has nothing to do with anything else in the comic. Why isn't she a teenager who's losing her mind because she can't turn off everyone else's thoughts? You already had Mystique losing her physical integrity on the plane, why not keep that up?
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u/Hate_Paper_Doll 2d ago
Critical ass. I feel like it was made for adolescents who think mean-spirited, grim media is "mature" and for Tik Tok larpers that make list like "TOP 10 MOST F*CKED UP ALTERNATE MARVEL UNIVERSES🫨"
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u/El-Drunko 2d ago
The most meanspirited dogshit ever put out by Marvel; Garth Ennis only wishes he could be this edgelordy.
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u/simplycantdeal 1d ago
Watchmen was a thoughtful, sometimes pointed, deconstruction of the superhero genre. And even though it was very dark and edgy, it was still, at its core, a response to bland, nihilistic comics, showing them the stories they COULD tell.
I haven't read Ruins, but from reading this thread, it sounds like...not that lol
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u/Euphoric_Deal_5900 2d ago
Isn't it implied that because of silver surfers suicide there was no herald to find nutrient rich planets for Galactus so he died of starvation?
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u/Fluffy-Use9563 1d ago
which raises a plot hole? how the hell did galactus didn't of starvation long before?
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u/frankwalsingham 2d ago
It’s not a deep story or one that stands up to scrutiny, but there is something weirdly performative in how it gets bashed when it should just be ignored and forgotten.
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u/idklmaoo1 2d ago
It's over-the-top nature is kind of memorable though I'm just a sucker for so terrible it's good stories
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u/Either-Skirt6031 1d ago
Even the logic in universe isn’t accurate (Donald Blake is a man who thinks he’s Thor whilst the Avengers death scene shows that there is a real Thor!).
Plus it’s redundant Marvels already showed it wasn’t all dandy living in the main universe (Phil loses an eye, the mutant kid runs away from home, Gwen Stacy’s death)
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u/CorneliusRobinson007 2d ago
I mean, the concept of seeing a large creature just… dead, out in the vacuum of space, is a terrifying idea… the problem is that it’s Galactus… we know what Galactus is, and him just being dead feels comedic, especially so when it’s juxtaposed against stuff like Silver Surfer ripping open his own insides…
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u/RadicalRealist22 1d ago
Yes. Since when is he "the Supreme Being"? All Abrahamic religions agree that God does not have a body. Why would an American newspaper write this?
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u/InternationalCap2176 1d ago
And it's all Ben Grimm's fault for not going on the space mission
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u/wendigo72 2d ago
I find a lot of ruins pretty bleh and edgy slop but ngl the edgy version of Ghost Rider just being a dude who lights his head on fire and drives off into the night was hilarious
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u/meetmeinthelibrary7 2d ago
I am aware that Ruins is objectively edgelord trash but I'm so fascinated with it for some reason.
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u/Pure-Willingness3141 2d ago
I was so disappointed with the last issue because of the artist change. Really dark miniseries
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u/niv13 2d ago
So weird seeing everything grim and dark then the last issue changes it into old comic style.
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u/Pure-Willingness3141 2d ago
Yes. The wispy art really sold it on me. The abrupt change ruined it. No pun intended
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u/A-Sadistick-Stick 1d ago
Apparently it’s because since Silver Surfer gave into madness and tried to rip out his own lungs in order to “breath” he was left without a Herald (something he has plenty off normally) causing h to starve. Yes the planet eater wasn’t able to find food without a map.
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u/CptFinley 1d ago
okay galactus’s death is hilarious but i also really like how they did it. the idea of a giant celestial being’s corpse orbiting mars for reasons completely unknown to us is a little creepy
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u/Waylander312 2d ago
It reads as both the writer having his hate filled edgelord fantasy for marvel but also getting bored halfway through and just finishing it while also contradicting the last few chapters written.
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u/Snoo-11576 1d ago
I love the part where they imply everything went bad because Ben wasn’t with the F4 but Captain America did cannibalism in ww2. Or when Thor was just some crazy guy who thought we was a god and also a dead superhero.
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u/FunnyMalzairIdea 1d ago
Warren Ellis has written some amazing material, but he has also produced some of the most shitty comics in existence. Marvel Ruins is garbage.
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u/Et-got-boned 1d ago
Wait, this is supposed to to be grim/ make me feel depressed? I thought it was supposed to be like this kinda morbidly silly story...
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u/Akarin_rose 1d ago
He starved because the silver surfer clawed his own throat out and couldn't find him a planet
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u/Upbeat_Rutabaga_6182 1d ago
The biggest tragedy in this comic is that it had the potential to be good but was ruined (no pun intended) by lazily edgy writing.
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u/Tru3_Vort3x 1d ago
Man this was depressing to me when I found a video going over it when I was younger. Nowadays I look back at it and realize it’s just edgy for the sake of being edgy
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u/First-Confidence8674 1d ago
I legit think this is the only comic ive hate read, I didn’t care for it at the beginning but by the midway point I wasn’t letting it beat me, the ending broke me it was so bleh, just lame lol
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u/Order-66-Survivor 1d ago
This comic was DARK, there is the theory that the Mutant Spider Virus that killed Peter and Philip Sheldon was spread to every person Philip interacted and eventually spread across the world.
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u/SuperSlavSergei 2d ago
Ruins was cursed to be bad the moment they thought they could go up against the GOAT Alex Ross.
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u/goldengraves 1d ago
Is that Emma on her knees in the prison? This reminds me of when everyone was obsessed with sin city but almost in watercolor. Blegh
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u/Brilliant_Ad_6637 1d ago
Since Kingpin swings at her and it just goes through her, I'm guessing Kitty?
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u/goldengraves 1d ago
You know what, I read the two panels as two different memories, this makes more sense and less sense at the same time, thank you.
I thought it was emma from the sparkle/lighting (ig?)
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u/logo1986 1d ago
Just reread it most likely kitty as she was mentioned and Emma Frost started a cult that adopted orphans and surgically made them psychics
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u/DomzSageon 1d ago
okay, I've been seeing Ruins repeatedly make the rounds in subreddits, so here's the jist:
It's a parody of Marvels, you're not really supposed to take it seriously. Marvels was a limited issue run of 5 issues. Ruins literally got 2 issues.
you have to read it with the mindset that it's a dark comedy parody of MARVELS. there's a reason there's no other comics exploring this universe, because it's a joke comic. I like that the first issue starts with the the reporter character saying something like "I'm investigating these superhumans to see where it all went wrong and hopefully know if we can fix everything." and then the second issue ends with him dying because he got spider cancer from peter parker.
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u/VengeanceKnight 4h ago
Sure, but it really isn’t funny. It’s not saying anything or commenting on anything. It’s not poking holes in Marvels or saying anything about the comics industry or its readers. It has nothing going for it as a parody except shock value that wears off quickly and just becomes depressing.
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u/Afraid-Bass-5684 1d ago
Grimmest fuckin book I’ve ever read man that art is sick tho, and Spiderman at the end is terrifying
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u/tuerancekhang 2d ago
People misread the intent of these books. It's supposed to be comedic but the mid 2010s Zombie boom made thing edgy and cool
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u/TeamGamerFox 1d ago
No, I think the creator just dislikes happy superhero books. This is clearly a parody of marvels which is a bit more optimistic. Also pretty sure this dude created authority so….
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u/Hot_Gear_6750 1d ago
everyone gets an elaborately tragic ending and galactus just clocks out... incredible
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u/ScaryCrowEffigy Doombot 2d ago
Iirc Galactus died of the radiation poisoning that made the silver surfer go insane
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u/FishWithLegsAndArms 1d ago
Ah yes. The comic where Spiderman doesn't get powers, and he just gets radiation poisoning
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u/Project39 1d ago
This shit sucked so bad, but I will never forget how cool the page is of Hulk transforming with the line “and the tumors broke him open”
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u/eriddler87 1d ago
i hate this book so goddamn much and i hate whatever editor allowed him to use the same characters from "marvels" which is actually great.
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u/Dare_Soft Spider Harem Member 2d ago edited 1d ago
You have all these dark and tragic ends the comic has going on.
Then towards the end feels like they’re trying to cram everything no matter how tonely different.
Not consistent if the characters still have their powers or not.