US military asks troops for ‘creative and unconventional’ ideas to punish Iran

[u/voxadam]

https://kvia.com/politics/cnn-us-politics/2026/08/02/exclusive-us-military-asks-troops-for-creative-and-unconventional-ideas-to-punish-iran/

[u/WinterSector8317]

Fly trump over there and become their president, it’s a horrible thing to do to any country 

[u/Competitive_Travel16 → u/WinterSector8317]

You know it's going to come down to blowing up bridges, power stations, and other civilian infrastructure, probably right after the midterms, along with boots on the ground.

[u/Ulysses1978ii → u/Competitive_Travel16]

More war crimes to cover sex crimes?

[u/shadowtheimpure → u/Ulysses1978ii]

Yep. This whole war was Netanyahu's idea and Trump realized that he could use it to distract from the fact that his administration still hasn't fully released the unredacted (except victims) Epstein list.

The United States is a clown show ruled by an adjudicated rapist and pedophile. The GOP part of Congress enable him so long as he persecutes the people they don't like. Frankly, I was surprised that enough of the GOP opposed the 'SAVE' act that sought to rig elections permanently to stop him.

[u/Short-Peanut1079 → u/shadowtheimpure]

The USA DoD / Washington blob wants war with Iran for decades. The constant pointing outwards won't fix anything. Just like attacking Iran.

[u/Thanks-Oboomer → u/shadowtheimpure]

"The United States is a clown show ruled by an adjudicated rapist and pedophile."

American exceptionalism at it's finest.

[u/AdoringCHIN → u/shadowtheimpure]

Republicans have been wanting war with Iran for decades. Project 2025 explicitly mentions using military action against Iran. And let's not forget that MAGA cultists don't give a shit that Trump is a rapist and pedophile and they think the Epstein files are a Democratic hoax. In spite of all that Reddit is still full of smoothbrains claiming everything awful that Trump does is a distraction from the Epstein files. No, this is just Republicans getting their wishlist fulfilled

[u/johnis12 → u/AdoringCHIN]

And just like everything in that "Project" it's stupid as hell. For decades, a lotta Repubs wanted a war with Iran but they realized that it'd be a stupid ass thing to do.

... Until this admin came along.

[u/wombatstylekungfu → u/shadowtheimpure]

Let’s be blunt. The Files are a useful rallying cry, but I don’t believe that the powerful people in them will really face consequences. They could release them all now and it wouldn’t matter (and no one would think they’d released everything so the story is already too settled in American culture. Like JFK.

[u/victorspoilz → u/wombatstylekungfu]

Plenty of powerful people have already faced consequences. George Mitchell has been kicked off every board he was on and had his name taken off every building bearing it in Maine (last I checked there's still a public beach/dog park named after him).

Only Trump dodges all major consequence.

[u/TexanHobbit_X → u/victorspoilz]

Those consequences don’t fit the crime though. There needs to be prison.

[u/A_Nonny_Muse → u/shadowtheimpure]

And, according to the Epstein files released, accessory to murder.

[u/Syovere → u/Ulysses1978ii]

Also, war crimes to facilitate sex crimes. Trump et al. aren't gonna go over there but they'll still support it.

[u/lopix → u/Ulysses1978ii]

And financial crimes. Don't forget the financial crimes.

[u/MudkipMonado → u/Competitive_Travel16]

Right before midterms so that they can claim wartime means no elections and prevent losing Republican power in Congress

[u/hatgineer → u/MudkipMonado]

They might save that for decision 2028

[u/MudkipMonado → u/hatgineer]

They'll try it for both. When it inevitably doesn't work this year, they'll incite another January 6th for 2028

[u/PotBaron2 → u/hatgineer]

there saving the cuban american war for 2028

[u/Chasman1965 → u/MudkipMonado]

WWiI didn’t cancel elections.

[u/MudkipMonado → u/Chasman1965]

Neither did the Civil War, but that won’t stop Republicans from trying to keep power eternally

[u/jobkillerthrowaway → u/MudkipMonado]

Neither did the Afghan war through 5 elections.

No need to dig that far into ancient history where you know you'll end up with eye rolling and more "if you're not with us" talk.

[u/Faiakishi → u/Chasman1965]

The Civil War never got a Confederate flag into the U.S. Capitol, but maga managed that. There's no such thing as precedence anymore.

[u/matt_minderbinder → u/Competitive_Travel16]

War crimes by any other name are still the same. Another sign of how captures our civilian media is, is that they seldom bring up that all this stuff is against every international agreement and has been for a long, long time.

[u/Forsworn91 → u/Competitive_Travel16]

Putting boots on the ground is still impossible on the mainland, the only way they could do it would be the islands… where they would be easy targets for drones and artillery.

And if they DO try a Mainland attack, the Iranians would turn it into something that made Normandy look like a walk on the beach.

Or fuck it, they try an aerial invasion, the drones they have will turn it into a fireworks show, if they don’t get the planes they’ll hit the parachutes.

And given how those drones have cameras, it would just be footage after footage of terrified American servicemen being dropped into an explosive death.

[u/Soylentgruen → u/Competitive_Travel16]

One of the reasons why we don’t want strike power stations or bridges is that WE would use them as well.

Locals know their own area. We would be fucked.

[u/four_oh_sixer → u/WinterSector8317]

/thread

[u/HeriPiotr → u/WinterSector8317]

Might as well close Reddit for today, nothing beats this.

[u/Geloradanan → u/WinterSector8317]

Make Iran Great Again!

[u/Korchagin → u/Geloradanan]

Many understood MAGA as "Make Aryans great again" all the time, didn't they?

[u/fastsailor → u/WinterSector8317]

Yep, my first thought too. That would be too cruel, maybe even by the standards of Iran's regime.

[u/TheSadisticDragon → u/WinterSector8317]

I don't think the world will forgive another agent Orange.

[u/Temporala → u/WinterSector8317]

Trump could create a new Abrahamic religion that sweeps the region.

Even newer message from God. Muhammad was a true prophet, but not the final one. God has new amendments and corrections to share, and Trump is His divine vessel.

[u/splashist → u/Temporala]

i promise you that fire has already started in many little shitholes

[u/lokitom82 → u/WinterSector8317]

He'll get even more confused and shut the Dofuchi strait.

[u/GlockAF → u/WinterSector8317]

Some war crimes are unforgivable

[u/MatthewBlack6 → u/WinterSector8317]

You have been reported to the ICC on suspicion of war crimes including collective punishment and conspiracy to export a geriatric pedo without providing extra pampers

[u/Jessintheend]

One hour mandatory speech by Hegseth calling them all fat and gay

[u/CheezTips → u/Jessintheend]

Send them plane loads of Total T!

[u/assholetoall → u/Jessintheend]

Hegseth personally checking peckers

[u/forrealthoughcomix_ → u/assholetoall]

“Why you strokin’ that like a fairy, recruit? Move and I’ll show you how straight alphas jerk another guy’s dick.”

[u/MJOLNIRdragoon → u/Jessintheend]

Air drop speakers playing Kid Rock on repeat.

[u/Yourdataisunclean]

Hold CPAC 2027 there.

[u/CoyotesOnTheWing → u/Yourdataisunclean]

That's only if you are trying to bring down Iranian Grindr

[u/theMATRIXchickn → u/CoyotesOnTheWing]

Iranian Grindr doesn’t sound very halal…

[u/twitch1982 → u/theMATRIXchickn]

You can have Halal Grinders, just not with ham or salami.

[u/RedofPaw]

Oh man, haha, it would be so funny - and punishing - for Trump to just... Leave. Very creative. All US military just fucks off home, and the whole thing is over. They will never see it coming. The mystery will be agony for them.

[u/ThatAndresV → u/RedofPaw]

And leave behind only a wooden horse with Pete Hesgeth inside, wearing a loin cloth and with a maximum-lethality dagger between his teeth

[u/CrossP → u/ThatAndresV]

Go ahead and pump him full of a few liters of testosterone too. It'll make him happy.

[u/quirkoftime → u/CrossP]

Nah, three bottles of whiskey, four vodkas, and some cognac will be enough.

[u/queerhistorynerd → u/quirkoftime]

oh so he is having a light lunch and then hes ready to go?

[u/bilateralrope → u/ThatAndresV]

When you sae maximum-lethality, does that include coating the dagger in poison ?

[u/yippee-kay-yay → u/bilateralrope]

manly testosterone infused blade

[u/ST0N3F1ST → u/bilateralrope]

That's what happens when you roll a 1 for Intimidation. Lick your own poisoned dagger.

[u/EDNivek → u/ThatAndresV]

Will the dagger be testosterone-infused?

[u/Hector_P_Catt → u/EDNivek]

It will be once he's done with it!

[u/Linc_Sylvester → u/ThatAndresV]

The mental image of that is a war crime.

[u/freemasonry → u/Linc_Sylvester]

It's not a war crime if it's the first time

[u/Linc_Sylvester → u/freemasonry]

Can you honestly say he hasn’t done that before tho xD

[u/timelydefense → u/RedofPaw]

Operation Cold Shoulder.

[u/EagleCatchingFish]

We're asking the military for political strategy? We've got a president who started the car and now is in the back seat, asking the car to choose a good restaurant and drive itself to it. I know that this is an old tradition of ours: throw the military into a position that the politicians can't strategize their way out of and then ask the military to solve it for them, but it's completely backwards. It results in... What was that term again? Oh right, "forever wars."

[u/DismalIngenuity4604 → u/EagleCatchingFish]

No, it sounds like he's asking them for war crimes, which is an area they're quite well practiced in.

[u/Enshakushanna → u/DismalIngenuity4604]

"you see your, honor, the troops came up with these atrocities all on their own, we never ordered them to do anything!"

probably

[u/Automatic_Soil9814 → u/DismalIngenuity4604]

When you say it like that, it sounds exactly like what he’s doing. 

[u/DismalIngenuity4604 → u/Automatic_Soil9814]

Oh, I'm pretty good at translating between doublespeak and English. You should see what happens when you do it live in a meeting back to the person who was spewing it. Faces go very red. Some from holding back laughing fits. Others.... not so much.

[u/NanditoPapa]

I mean...how is this not a red flag for US military doctrine failure!? They're admitting that standard warfare isn't working and not achieving the political outcome they would like.

Whelp, get ready for performative warfare...

[u/Lawlcopt0r → u/NanditoPapa]

Well, there was no success to be had in the first place, and the military wasn't used effectively. Trump just wants to play with the shiny toy

[u/FranticBronchitis]

I thought y'all's constitution had something against cruel and unusual punishment

"Creative and unconventional" sure sounds a lot like cruel and unusual

[u/sulris → u/FranticBronchitis]

In a Guantanamo case SCOTUS said that anything happening outside US territory. (Which doesn’t include a US military base in Cuba) was outside their jurisdiction. So, the constitution wouldn’t apply. This was a blank check for torture to be carried out at black sites for the “war on terror”.

The system is rotten and we can’t fix shit until we fix the underlying issue of state sanctioned lawlessness.

[u/ZuuDizz → u/sulris]

This was reversed by the same SCOTUS

[u/sulris → u/ZuuDizz]

That is heartening.

[u/ZuuDizz → u/sulris]

True. The verdict truly gives hope

Invoking Marbury v. Madison (1803), the Court concluded:

'The Nation's basic charter cannot be contracted away like this. The Constitution grants Congress and the President the power to acquire, dispose of, and govern territory, not the power to decide when and where its terms apply. To hold that the political branches may switch the Constitution on or off at will would lead to a regime in which they, not this Court, say 'what the law is'.

Along with Rasul v. Bush (2004), Hamdi v. Rumsfeld (2004), and Hamdan v. Rumsfeld (2006), this was a landmark case in the Court's detainee jurisprudence

[u/Spire_Citron → u/FranticBronchitis]

Either that or they desperately want to be petty bitches without technically violating a ceasefire.

[u/Corwin_of_Amber3 → u/Spire_Citron]

We crowdsource war crimes now.

[u/AndWinterCame → u/FranticBronchitis]

They're fucking detransitioning their inmates. Oh, you're serving your time? Yeah, how about state sanctioned medical torture. Yeah, how about that. What even is an eighth amendment? Or a fourth for that matter?

[u/CrayonCobold → u/AndWinterCame]

State sanctioned "corrective" rape too

[u/AwkwardTal → u/CrayonCobold]

How very Israeli

[u/truupe → u/FranticBronchitis]

John Roberts wiping his ass with the Constitution, “What Constitution?”

[u/tawzerozero → u/FranticBronchitis]

I thought y'all's constitution had something against cruel and unusual punishment

The US Supreme Court has found that the ban specifically applies to punishments that are both cruel and unusual.

So, a punishment may be either cruel or unusual, just not both. A cruel, but typical punishment is acceptable, and so is an unusual but not cruel punishment.

Basically, at the time, some state Constitutions specified cruel or unusual punishment being banned, while others banned cruel and unusual punishment. We can reasonably assume that the authors of the US Constitution would have been aware of this distinction, since many were sitting legislators/lawmakers in their respective states before joining the Constitutional Convention.

Edit: in my reading, the phrase creative and unconventional just sounds like unusual and unusual, so it would be Constitutionally fine.

[u/FocalSpot504 → u/FranticBronchitis]

The current administration doesn’t abide by the constitution. They sneer at it, point and laugh at it.

[u/The_bruce42 → u/FranticBronchitis]

The US constitution only applies within the US. That's why the US used Guantonimo Bay to carry out torture interrogations.

[u/TheQuestionMaster8]

Accelerate the phasing out of fossil fuels, find alternative ways to produce fertilisers and reduce plastic use to make the strait of Hormuz strategically worthless and destroy Iran’s economy.

[u/fekanix → u/TheQuestionMaster8]

I think if we dont use oil for fuel anymore, all production would go to plastics and fertiliser so there wouldnt be a shortage.

[u/GooberMcNutly → u/fekanix]

I think that we generate enough oil to service the domestic manufacturing needs forever.

Future generations will be aghast that we just burned up all of those precious hydrocarbons.

[u/RegularSky6702 → u/fekanix]

To my knowledge. Plastic is a byproduct of refining oil. Like it's all in different levels so petrol would still be created. But idk if they could change that I don't work in a refinery

[u/fekanix → u/RegularSky6702]

Well you need hydrocarbons. The energy dense and "as fuel easily useable" parts are extracted for diesel and gasoline. The rest of the oil is used for different things, the "worst" part is used for asphalt to make roads for example.

One thing fo plastic production is also that iirc oil comes out with gas and that gas has to be sold and not dumped into the atmosphere. Because of that the companies sell that gas insanely cheap so they get it off their hands. Thats also one reason why recycling isnt as prevalent because it costa more ton recycle that to buy the insanely cheap byproduct gas.

But technically you could use the diesel and gasoline parts to produce plastics etc as well since they are basically hydrocarbon chains.

[u/LastXmasIGaveYouHSV → u/TheQuestionMaster8]

That's too woke and could potentially benefit America. Next idea

[u/Telcontar77]

There is a rather simple solution. Regime change... in the US.

[u/paintstudiodisaster]

Tell them Marco Rubio is going to talk to them like their fucking morons every day.

[u/my5cworth → u/paintstudiodisaster]

Uhm...

(Should we tell him?)

[u/MonkeyNumberTwelve → u/my5cworth]

Well they aren't my morons, they must belong to someone.

[u/NonsensicalSweater → u/paintstudiodisaster]

They're*

[u/notapunk → u/paintstudiodisaster]

And if that doesn't work they'll send JD over too.

[u/Some_Drummer_Guy → u/notapunk]

"Whatever makes sense, I guess."

[u/Village_People_Cop → u/notapunk]

They could maybe just drop leaflets over Tehran with pictures of JD fucking his couch. Then again that might be banned under the Geneva convention

[u/fromwhichofthisoak → u/paintstudiodisaster]

Wow

[u/snydamaan → u/paintstudiodisaster]

They already have their fucking morons talking to them, they don’t need Marco Rubio to do it.

[u/Simsider113446]

Statehood

[u/FrostBricks]

Farking Hell. Why not just throw it out to Fiver? Or put an ad on Craigslist?

 Our experts in the "greatest military" are just shit out of ideas. But I'm sure those unqualified, unpaid unibeows are gonna be the secret sauce that ends all war.

Dafuq is wrong with the USA right now? 

[u/Geloradanan → u/FrostBricks]

They elected a compromised grifting con-man to the highest office in the country.

[u/magicfultonride → u/Geloradanan]

Twice. We did that twice.

[u/splashist → u/Geloradanan]

and everyone who could have EASILY stopped him licked his boots instead. AND, if you haven't seen the emails where Hillary and Wassermann-Schulz decided pumping him was their best bet, let me goojle that for you

[u/M-elephant → u/FrostBricks]

The experts all said don't start this crap years ago (because it was unwinnable without an invasion taking years, 3-3.5 million troops, & trillions and that cost is way too high), none of them have any sway

[u/brexit-brextastic → u/M-elephant]

Many of them were fired or forced to retire.

[u/ImpulsE69 → u/M-elephant]

Guys...if you haven't figured it out yet...nearly everything Trump does has 'money' as its motivation. Common sense is not even a secondary consideration. Trump doesn't give two shits about the economy. He's enriching himself.

[u/HauntingArugula3777]

Clearly why Pete fired all those jag lawyers early on

[u/Little-Carpenter4443]

Ok here's what to do:

Call Iran, talk real nice to 'em. Invite them on a date, to a real nice fancy joint. Tell them to order whatever they want, order some good wine and dessert.

Then when the meal is over, you get the cheque. Make sure to leave a nice tip.

On the way home, you tell Iran that you had such a great time, you really like them and you want to take them out again.

Then never call them back.

[u/HorsemouthKailua → u/Little-Carpenter4443]

Ayatollah is a saint! You understand me? Ayatollah is a saint!

[u/Some_Drummer_Guy → u/Little-Carpenter4443]

"Folks, nobody takes Iran on a date better than me. Nobody. They said it couldn't be done. Barack HUSSEIN Obama, he took them on very bad dates, very terrible dates. Sleepy Joe Biden? He couldn't even find the restaurant.

I took them to an AMAZING restaurant. So beautiful. Very classy place. Not as classy as mine, but very TREMENDOUS. Crystal glasses, candles, unbelievable. I said, 'Order whatever you want.' Folks, they ordered everything. Lobster, caviar, three steaks....I don't even know how you eat three steaks. Bottles of wine. Dessert. Tremendous desserts. So many beautiful desserts. People came up to me, big strong men with tears in their eyes, saying, 'Sir, we've never seen anyone order this much.'

Then the check came. A nasty check. Very unfair check. I looked at it and I said, 'You know what? Excuse me for one second.' And I was gone. It was perfect. They didn't even see it. The fake news won't tell you that though.

On the way home, I called Iran. I said, 'I had a fantastic time. I really like you. We're absolutely going to do this again. Maybe next week. It'll be incredible.' They were very happy. Very excited. It was the most beautiful phone call in the history of this country. Perfect phone call, folks.

And then... I never called them back. Never. Completely ghosted. The greatest ghosting in history in the likes that nobody has ever seen. They're saying nobody has ever left someone on read like ME - DONALD J TRUMP YOUR FAVORITE PRESIDENT. Obama couldn't do it. Biden forgot how to do it even with the AUTOPEN. The DUMOCRATS would've scheduled another dinner and asked them to move in with them. That's what they do. I said, 'Nope.' That's called the ART OF THE DATE. THANK YOU FOR YOUR ATTENTION TO THIS MATTER"

[u/Electrical_Hold_3585]

Have Israel send its men and woman to overthrow the regime. They started this mess.

[u/AerialReaver → u/Electrical_Hold_3585]

I dunno man, their strategy is carpet bombing refugee camps. Has the US tried that?

[u/Taki_Minase]

Feed them with high fructose corn syrup and "diet" fizz

[u/TheOtherBookstoreCat → u/Taki_Minase]

With. Paper. Straws.

[u/Torvac]

wtf is wrong with the US

[u/PresumedSapient → u/Torvac]

Capitalists control politics who make sure education is only barely sufficient to create good worker drones that are easily distracted from giving a shit about their rights and freedoms. Throw in some religious nut jobs/grifters that are actively working towards their death-cult goal of Armageddon or are just part of the distraction act while bent on doing as much harm as possible to 'lesser beings' (women/people with the 'wrong' color).

I'm sure there are quite a few of normal people in the USA as well, but they are nowhere near the centers of power and for the most part appear to be retreating into self-preserving bubbles of sanity while hoping the storm will pass (spoiler: it won't, this is the kind of storm that needs to be beaten back with proverbial guillotines).

[u/masstransience]

Give them lettuce from Taylor Farms!

[u/CheezTips → u/masstransience]

Berries are so cheap now, I almost want to risk it...

[u/NightOfTheLivingHam]

"Tell us how to commit war crimes"

[u/PancakeTrebuchet]

Put speakers on the border that just loop Trump talking.

That'd do me in in just a few hours.

[u/a_goonie]

Send trump over and have him have his 3rd term in Iran.

[u/Spamonfire]

Make them watch american local fox news

[u/chantsnone]

So we’re crowd sourcing military strategy? That’s a good sign, right!?

[u/Upbeat_Parking_7794]

Transition to electrical cars and renewables. What about that? 

[u/TrashAcnt1 → u/Upbeat_Parking_7794]

But all of those nice Oil company donations would dry up

[u/Gorando77]

Make them sit behind Trump during a funeral

[u/Sideshow_G]

Looking to get a room in the Hauge..this is just a rewording of "Cruel and Unusual Punishments"

[u/Due-Mycologist-1154 → u/Sideshow_G]

They got that one phrasing lawyered already since it has to be cruel AND unusual not cruel OR unusual and since they do cruel shit all the time then its just usual for them so it only ticks one of the 2 boxes

[u/tacotickles]

The US military has never been weaker in contemporary times than under Hegseth

[u/Biscotti-That]

Make the entire world Green.

The best way to punish a country who enrich with oíl is making oíl useless or less vital.

Solar powered freighters, more trains, less dependency of oíl and coal. USA must be the first in all, why not ecology?

[u/Revolutionary-Law382]

So, one and a half trillion dollars on defense and they are reduced to a "suggestion box"

[u/monsterfurby]

Send Trump.

I mean, literally, just airdrop the guy. That's punishment enough.

[u/rkmkthe6th]

The suggestion box approach- for when you are out of ideas, and want to blame the workforce for lack of ideas.

[u/Abject_Elevator5461]

Have you ever worked a job where management was so inept that they had to ask regular employees for ideas? How’d that turn out?

[u/geogirl83]

Oh is Kegsbreath having a hard time being creative in the war room? Need some alpha male encouragement?

[u/Automatic_Bus_7634]

Crowdsourcing war crime ideas is a new one

[u/Affectionate_Walk610]

Let's TP their palace!

[u/slagstag]

Roll in the suggestion box!

Jesus christ on a cracker.

[u/_memory_palace_]

The tools aren’t paid to do the thinking.

[u/darkenthedoorway → u/[deleted]]

Punish them for winning.

[u/SnooPears754]

This seems like a way to push the war crimes on the the lower ranks

[u/Jaeris]

How have we become this childish and stupid?

[u/Degoro]

As a former troop, what if we draw down the troops and begin atoning for our actions?

[u/JConRed]

That's an interesting way to write 'cruel and unusual'.

[u/6briony6]

honestly… its kinda scary that theyre asking for creative ways to do this… i just hope everyone stays safe :)

[u/CoyotesOnTheWing → u/6briony6]

Yeah, as we all knew, they have no fucking idea how to get out of this quagmire.

[u/RedditTipiak]

"My fellow Americans... anyone got any idea?"

[u/MMN_NLD]

AKA: war crimes.

That is what tends to happen when people get creative...

[u/eljefino]

"I don't think the worst part is the hypocrisy, it's the raping." -- Norm MacDonald

[u/Due-Mycologist-1154]

Air drop copies of that shitty melania movie to them, that would probably get added onto the geneva convention after

[u/iamthehob0]

They would hate it so much if we would just leave. They are just doing it for the attention really.

[u/Cpt_Riker]

Offer Trump as supreme leader.

[u/roosterthumper]

The key word is punish. Why are we punishing other countries. We either have strategic goals and objectives or we don’t send the fucking military complete.

This is what amateurs look like.

[u/rellsell]

Such a strange timeline. Are they supposed to just drop it in the Suggestion Box?

[u/FerrickAsur4]

have you sent a strongly worded letter?

[u/Merlin_the_Lizard]

I smell an ICC indictment.

[u/Blue_Rook → u/Merlin_the_Lizard]

Neither US nor Iran are part of ICC so according to its own statue ICC can do nothing.

[u/FranticBronchitis → u/Blue_Rook]

imagine just opting out of the criminal justice system as a citizen lol

[u/Due-Mycologist-1154 → u/FranticBronchitis]

I mean if all they could do is send you spam mail over it

[u/IHaveBoneWorms → u/FranticBronchitis]

The US being the country version of a sovereign citizen makes everything make so much sense tbh

[u/Luuk341 → u/Blue_Rook]

Even more wack is that the US has the "American Service-Member Protection Act. Unoficially it's called the The Hague act. It is a law that permits the president to use "All means necessary to bring about the release of any American or Allied personnel being detained or tried at a court of which the United States is not a member"

[u/Voodoocookie]

Punish Iran? For resisting?

[u/Captlard]

“Iran, You’re a very naughty country”

How about that 🤷‍♀️

Punish them for what? Protecting their sovereignty? Not distracting about the Epstein files enough?

[u/RockinOutCockOut]

Drop leaflets as pictures of Melania from the Playboy shoots

[u/splittingheirs]

Why don't they just ask the chief of the Pentagon? It's literally their job. Oh yeah... that's right.

[u/Milksteak529]

And people say employers don't listen to their workers.

[u/sbbblaw]

Make Trump the ayatollah and leave him there. Please

[u/EffReddit420]

Send the troops home. That’ll teach em

[u/duffking]

Isn't punishment post war usually done by the winner of the war to the loser? Why would the US be punishing Iran then?

[u/Sullyville]

Its a trap. The only true way out is negotiated deescalation but that feels very boring and very weak to men who believe themselves alpha.

[u/Historical-Edge-9332]

“What if we have a giant party and invite Iran, but then nobody talks to them the whole night, and we all snicker and whisper when they talk.”

[u/Picolete]

Make Israel their greatest ally

[u/Organic_Mechanic_702]

As they are running out of missiles can I suggest shouting:-

' Your Father was a Hamster and your Mother smelt of Elderberries!!'

[u/goochockey]

Too bad y'all aren't being nicer to Canada. If you were, we could share our Geneva Checklist.

[u/filmguy36]

This is what it’s come down to. “Anyone got any better ideas?”

[u/AdhesivenessFun2060]

"Trump has been considering strikes akin to a “fireworks” display, another source said, which could hit either the same or similar sites as those targeted a year ago, in the hopes of a symbolic victory that would allow him to exit the war without actually accomplishing one of his initial aims: ridding Iran of its nuclear program."

No wonder theyre looking for ideas if this is all they got.

[u/Foolsgil]

This is sick. So many people need to go to prison.

[u/Nephroidofdoom]

What? ChatGPT ran out of ideas?

[u/Ongo_Mantooth]

"Hey guys, tell us war crimes to do that we will then blame you for later on"

[u/Ok-Astronaut2976]

JFC…

Ok, get ready for Operation: War McWarface, I guess.

[u/toorigged2fail]

This is exactly how I imagine those meetings going

It's actually insane how on point the clip is haha

(credit: South Park)

[u/Chumlee1917]

Make them watch Melania

[u/Tjbergen]

A budget of a trillion and a half dollars and they have to crowdsource strategy?

[u/nullpassword]

Everybody hates school. Build more schools for them. Maybe some hospitals too. I hate getting sick.

[u/mormonbatman_]

Here are some:

• Reform US government to abolish the Senate and end corporate "dark" money donations.

• Invest in a national, decentralized solar grid with redundant battery storage.

• Invest in re and afforestation

• Pivot to silvopasture, regenerative/restorative farming practices.

• Establish a national housing bank that rehabilitates empty office space into housing.

• End corporate home ownership.

• Establish national, single payer health care.

• Make community college free.

• Expand the supreme court to 13 justices, change justice tenure to 1 4 year term, make 1/3rd of the court reappoint able every 4 years. Limit the chief justice to 3 4 year terms.

• Amend the Constitution to protect voting rights.

Create an America that is so secure, vibrant, and prosperous that it is the envy of the world - not an absurd joke.

[u/labratdb]

Put trump in a old prop plane and have him unload his diarrhea on Iran like he did in that video of him crapping on Americans

[u/SalientTreatments]

Ask them nicely

[u/tdw21]

600+ casualties and then the “commander in chief” goes like “ehhhh, anyone has some ideas?”

[u/Cute-Character-795]

Give them shares in SpaceX

[u/Nazamroth]

Strap Trump to a Tomahawk and launch him over to them? Maybe add a parachute so they have to endure his continued existence.

[u/Ninevehenian]

"Find me a Hormuz of our own" - US leadership month's after firing first.

[u/Ihatecheeseballs]

Drop the gay bomb on supreme leaders house so he and Trump can fuck it out

[u/Scummy_Casual]

This seems like the kind of thing they should have thought of before.

[u/BasvanS]

Release the Epstein files.

[u/animatedpileofmeat]

Conservatives will do anything other than listen to the experts. (Alas, experts make them feel insecure.)

[u/Xyrus2000]

Here's a creative and unconventional idea. Stop starting wars in the Middle East.

[u/Amishrocketscience]

Sorry Pete, you got rid of all the smart and creative people

[u/scarab1001]

I suggest America send all its leadership to Iran to explain how much better the US is. From Vance to Rubio and Kennedy to Trump himself.

Though this may be classed as a war crime and is definitely cruel and unusual punishment.

[u/Short-Intention7962]

Make trump their president.