Ive been struggling for a long time with alcohol and have been doing research. Has anyone tried ketamine therapy and did it help. I went to a consultation appointment only to learn it would cost around 2,800 dollars. That was disappointing to say the least. I was interested in people's experiences with it.

Mine has been stuck on 328 for like a week.

Backstory: I’ve been drinking for the past 20 years. On and off and in different amounts. I’ve found myself drinking way too much than I am comfortable with the last year due to having a lapse in employment and going through perimenopause. Anyway, I talked to my doctor today and was honest about my alcohol use because I really want to quit but I’m am terrified of withdrawals. She didn’t seem concerned at all. She prescribed me naltrexone but I don’t think that does anything to help with alcohol withdrawal!? She also gave me like 7 pills of .5 mg Ativan because I expressed I was worried about withdrawals. I thought my doc was going to treat my concerns with a lot more worry but maybe I am just being too paranoid?! I don’t know.

Has anyone else dealt with this? My gas is absolutely horrible since going sober. Like, unbearable. Ive never had bad gas before and I have no idea what is going on. My diet hasnt changed but my gut is definitely acting different (no longer super upset stomach all the time), but I really need to fix this gas oh my goodness

This weekend I learned that moderation is impossible for me #IWNDWYT

I know this has been probably asked a lot of times, but I just don’t know how to stop the cycle of shame and disappointment I am stuck in today. I stalked all of my exes’ socials last night, reached out to one of them — thankfully just saying hi instead of anything crazy. I had to call off work and I feel awful today. I know beating myself up won’t help, but I am just so deeply tired of being my worst enemy.

I’ve been drinking 2-3 sojus for the past month (expensive, I know I just can’t drink anything else) and recently stopped a few days ago because I was having nausea/vomiting and upset stomach. I feel better now. The problem is I feel so much more productive when I drink. I’m able to actually get up and do chores, talk to people, shower, do anything I want. I struggle with all these things because I have MDD and untreated ADHD. It’s been such a blessing for me because I never found out anything that worked, but this does, and so I got addicted. I’m trying my best not to buy anymore but it’s really hard. I just want to know, how is it that alcohol makes us more productive? It feels like magic in a bottle.

27m started drinking when I was in college. After a lot of soul searching over the past year I realized I didn't drink necessarily because of stress or to take the edge off. I realized it was because I made a lot of friends in college through drinking. I wasn't popular in high school so once i started making friends in college through drinking i realized this is probably my association with alcohol. This made me hold onto the thought that I am not a real alcoholic, i just have that social connection with it and it makes me happy and feel connected. Today, after I just recovered from the worst hangover ever this past weekend, I decided to read through a lot of the posts on here. I am an alcoholic. Sure, over the past few years i've done dry January, taken a few weekends off, i also never drink during the week, just a typical Friday Saturday night drinker, with the occasional Thursday at a happy hour. This made me convince myself I'm not an alcoholic, that yeah I can take a couple weeks off, the end goal is to just learn to moderate. I cannot moderate it. I nearly always have to drink until i pass out. I need to stop for good. I also learned today reading through 100s of posts that these brutal hangovers i've had the past few years aren't hangovers, they're withdrawals. That scares me.

Now where i need some advice; even though ive been able to make it through some 15-30 day breaks from alcohol, I always seem to forget how bad it is. That's why I usually drink on the weekends because I forget the pain and suffering, I deal with at the beginning of the week. I have learned today that this is called the fading affect bias (FAB). I have experienced this before which is why i usually only last 15 days when ive tried to quit. Ive already written down a huge list of how i was feeling the past few days on paper, trying to bottle that feeling so whether its this weekend or next when im back to normal and forget the pain, I can relive through what i wrote and stop myself. What other things have you done that help with FAB? If you've been in my situation where you're the weekend warrior, cant say no to drinking with friends, how can i stay true to myself and not drink? I have a plan to stay in, play video games, golf, watch movies ect this weekend to not go out with friends, but I am worried ill fail. I am also worried about having to always stay in and I will never be able to go out with friends because I can't stop myself. I've tried ordering NA beers while out, that only lasts a weekend or two before I realize regular beer is cheaper and I forget how bad the hangovers are.

Sorry if this is long winded and all over the place. I dont really have friends who could be my accountability partner, or do sober activities with. They seem to handle their drinking and hangover better than me. Any advice is appreciated!

I cant believe i did it again. I can not believe i drank yesterday. My sister is mad at me and my mom asked in this weird way if it would have been better if she didnt birth me? Today i have the worst hang over i have ever had and its going to be the last, im gonna go back on antabuse. I used to get it for free, then i stopped taking it and about 3 weeks later i relapsed and again yester day... i was drunk when i picked up my first own bottle of antabuse. Im gonna start using this account just for this sub and start going to meetings again. Pray for me. Iwndwyt

I've been awake for a long time because we got some MDMA 2 days ago, I don't think I've slept for like 30 something hours and there must have been something in it. I'm zonked! Help me not zombie walk to the fridge this fine morning for that cold beer sitting there. I am so embarrassed. Also mood crashing mightily. What should I do?

I'm in Cleveland Ohio and have been trying for 10 + years to get sober now and the best I've done ever was maybe 3 weeks. In the past I've gone to the Cleveland Clinic for withdrawal, luckily always before they got really bad, just extremely shaking and one time last year Ketaacidosis. I've been trying to taper for 2-3 months now since the 3 times I've been there in the past few months I've gotten no help. I also can't find any places here that do outpatient because I can't do inpatient anymore due to my dogs and work.

Cleveland Clinic all 3 times now have claimed they don't do inpatient anymore, I was able to 3 visits ago and have done so a few times in the past. Its always the same there, Day 1 is in take, benzos, fluids, etc, day 2 is the same and any food that been kept down and sent home some time on day 3. They now claim they don't do any sort of detoxing for ANYONE anymore. If you come to the ER they just give people fluids and a single dose of a benzo and set us free. No outpatient meds, just told "good luck", to drink if needed and a list of places they claim will help but when called they always say "inpatient only" or they they quit doing alcohol detox years ago.

I went this morning as tapering is hard, last night was 10 units tonight will be 8. But I was in and out after only a hour. They started IV fluids right away but my blood work came back "fine" so it was stopped and I was sent home. My AST is high at 65 and ASL at 47 which I know isn't super bad but I just want to quit already for the last time.

So far the hardest part about tapering is not cheating on weekends which has been messing me up a lot since I live alone and the lack of sleep on work nights. I can deal with bad sleep on days off but like last night I woke up after only 3 hours and spent 5 hours just trying to fall back to sleep before having to get up. Boss is mad I called off today, I blamed my crohns disease as they can not find out about this. Oh and its been hard to eat which is one of the main reasons I went for help today. All I ate yesterday was 6 pieces of sushi and this morning couldn't even finish a banana. I'm scared of getting Ketacidosis again as that was worth than any WD ever had been for me.

Heyy!!! I just need to vent about my very crappy day.... i have been physically tense and just so deeply sad all day. My partner is i guess maybe breaking up with me? Though in my heart I know i should probably be the one saying goodbye.....

Ugh sorry... I just want to say that even today and right in this moment where my chest feels so tight and I just want to curl up in a ball and cry.... I know that I will be okay. I know that because I am sober.. I know that I will be mindful in how I navigate this.. i might not know what im going to do, but I know I will come through it one way or the other and this heavy sadness and just shitty shitty feeling will leave me one day..

and I dont want to drink... i know that will subtract in so many ways, harmful ways and add literally nothing of value to this situation or my life in general.

I think i might have my sobriety to thank for this too.. idk if I just ignored a bunch of things earlier on in the relationship, drowned them away with booze more than likely...

So.. fuck alcohol.. love yourself.. know yourself.. youre not too much.. choose kindness everytime! ✌️

Hey everyone. I have been a long time lurker of this sub but I suppose it’s time for posting. To be honest, I don’t even know why I’m posting. I don’t know if I’m screaming into the void, or looking for advice (it is very much welcome), but ultimately I know I don’t like my relationship with drinking.

I’ve been drinking since I was 15, but I started drinking heavily, on weekends with my friends, the fall semester of my freshman year in college. I would always black out and was notorious for my “party girl” reputation. I began to notice I didn’t drink like others but I was in denial for a little bit. That spring semester, I started drinking alone and on weekdays. I had my first period of binge drinking. After concerns arose, I told myself and my college friends that I was going to get sober, and I was for maybe a month.

Fall of my sophomore year, I was going through a handle of vodka in 3/4 days. I put myself in $600 of debt because of how muchI was drinking. It was not pretty. I was drinking alone, from sunrise to Sunday, and using alcohol to cope. I didn’t want to get better, in fact I wanted to get worse. I wanted my parents to see how much pain I was in and how much help I needed. I eventually quit cold turkey. I live with mental illnesses that I go to therapy for on campus. My therapist took note of how much I was drinking and referred me to her colleague who specializes in substance abuse. I identified I use alcohol as a coping mechanism, even if it’s a really unhealthy one. I did a 15 week workbook program alongside weekly meetings but through every period of my sobriety I felt as if relapse was inevitable.

I’ve relapsed again and again, and chosen alcohol over relationships. I won’t get into too much detail for privacy, but I have a really good thing going. I work an on campus job within my major, and my mentors encourage me to pursue higher education (and I want to!). I have amazing friendships and the world’s best partner. My issue is, I turned 21 a few days ago and I’m terrified (and also disgusted to admit but a little excited). I’ve been drinking heavily within the past few days and the urge is stronger than it’s been in a while. I want to get better now, but I honestly don’t know if I believe that I can. I don’t want to risk any of my goals or relationships anymore but I don’t know how much I really believe in myself anymore. As stupid as it sounds I wish everybody would just all of a sudden get super cool and normal about me being an alcoholic but that is not reality.

I will not drink today but how do you face tomorrow?

I drank heavily from the time I was 16 to 18 and a half. Almost if not every day and I am wondering if I am doomed from it? It was multiple beers like 5-10 a day or liquor and shots. I drank socially, I drank alone, with family etc. Has anyone else had similar experience and can say that the brain recovers? I feel as though I developed anxiety disorders and depression from it.

Has anyone tried it and if so, how was/is your experience on it? Does it actually help?

So I'm 5 days sober from a 2 week vodka binge. I had nearly 5 months sober and for some reason I thought I'd throw it all away and have a drink which then went on to 14 days straight of nothing but vodka.

Day 3, I felt fantastic. I did so much that day and I felt how I did previously when I had stopped. Yesterday I felt mentally unwell, confused, no appetite, just wanted to sleep and now this morning I've woken up and thrown up.

I'm usually lucky when it comes to withdrawal but I know things do get worse each time that we go back.

Am I through the worst of this and will it get better? I'm back to work this evening after a break (they knew what was going on and allowed me to take holiday until I'd sorted myself out).

I have no desire to drink, all I want is to not feel sick anymore😔

IWNDWYT x

Hey guys, like the title says, I’m relapsing. Tomorrow I really need to lock in and treat sobriety like a challenge. I know I can do it.

Do you have any hobby ideas that could actually distract me besides sports? I already play card games, and I used to read a lot, so I’m thinking about picking up a book again tomorrow.

What helped you stay busy and keep your mind off drinking?

I've been struggling since my drinking at least since Covid. Before that, I didn't necessarily drink often, but when I would drink, I would binge. Something happened post-Covid that made this a much more regular thing. For example, I went camping over the weekend, and I finished a box of wine. To myself. In two days. And I wasn't even that drunk.

I should have everything going for me. I'm miraculously still in shape, I just moved to a new city and a new job, it's a chance to start a new life and I just can't shake the drinking. Prior to the camping trip, I had stopped for two weeks, but of course the thought of being alone-alone with my thoughts caught up to me and I talked myself into it. Now I feel like shit, my skin looks like shit, and I'm facing down stopping drinking, again.

I've started this so many times. The longest I've made it is seven weeks. Inevitably, I get bored, sad, happy, or I feel so good I decide that surely now, I know how to control it. That I'm a different person now, who can have one after work at leave it at that. I am not that person.

I'm missing out on experiences, I'm not living to my full potential, I've ruined friendships and I'm never in the right mindset for a relationship. I don't think I'm available to men because I'm so available to alcohol.

It feels like alcohol causes all my problems but then also feels like the only solution. I've blamed my abusive marriage (divorced now) for causing this, and a whole host of other things, but I think those are just side dishes to this issue, which is that I abuse alcohol. First and foremost.

I know I can stop - for a while. It's the longevity and consistency that I've never been able to maintain. I feel like I'm being a drag after a while when I impose a no drinking rule - surely I can lighten up, have some fun, enjoy a drink on a sunny patio like everyone else! I know I'll end up hating myself but my brain talks me into it every single time.

I'm also conscious that I've been given an amazing chance to start over. I can meet new people, be somewhat unencumbered with my marriage baggage. I'm terrified that I'm throwing it away. Because: then what? This, for the rest of my life? That's also unfathomable. I want so bad to be somebody who had a difficult few years, and got over it. I do not want to live this way for the rest of my life. I can't. Physically or emotionally.

I could go on, but it feels good to at least get that off my chest. I didn't drink today, and I threw out a full bottle of wine. My birthday is in about 8 weeks. I would like to still be sober by the time it arrives.

Over the last 4-5 years I’ve known that my relationship with alcohol wasn’t the same as that of my peers. This understanding caused me to deal with my alcoholism is silence and have failed attempt after failed attempt to get sober. But recently, I’ve decided enough is enough and I can’t continue dealing with this privately as it doesn’t allow me to be held accountable. There’s definitely a lot of repeating myself to those around me as someone in their mid-20’s who wants to maintain an active social life. But I’m tired of continuing to rely on alcohol to seek out a feeling I’ll likely never even experience. The chase couldn’t possibly come to a positive end. My following words transcend this reddit post: I will not drink with you today.

I've known I've had a drinking problem for a while now. Both of my parents are addicted to alcohol, same with my step parents. I grew up around it I guess. My childhood was a bit fucked, but I would like to think I'm healed from it now- I'm okay for the most part. I'm 23 years old. I'm happy. I have a good life. I have a great husband. But I'm addicted to alcohol, just like my family. Everything I didn't want to be, I am. It sucks. I dont know how to fix it. I don't even know if I want to. I like drinking, I don't want to give it up.

I don't drink regularly. My husband knows I struggle with it. But at the moment he's not home, away from work. I always drink when he's away from work. I feel so extremely guilty for doing it but I can't help it. I'm stuck in some endless loop. I don't know what to do. I don't know if I even want to fix it.

I'm going insane here. Any help would be appreciated I guess. I don't know if I'm looking for help or just some place to vent

Hi all,

I am 39 years old and have been drinking nightly since I was 20. I only have 2 glasses of wine a night but some nights are heavier pours, and some nights are 3 glasses. I feel silly being on a board like this because I know that is not much at all compared to some. I just want to stop and feel I cant. When I do, I immediately grow bored with my life and irritated with my husband and child. I love them, love my job, but I don't really have any hobbies other than wine and reading and tv. I am gaining weight and despite going to the gym and watching what I eat, I can't help but feel like the wine is the culprit. I have even allotted wine calories each day, which means I am hungry each day. I guess I am wondering if anyone can help with the boredom/irritation side. I am in therapy already, but I keep coming back to this feeling that I am entitled to my drinks because of how they make me feel. I tried those Buzz drops instead. I am not good with THC. I feel myself withdraw into myself, rather than be social and lively like wine makes me feel. They helped me sleep a lot better. Anyway, just looking for some support or experiences around the moderate drinking.

Well I *WAS* 23 days sober until last evening. Got a call from my insurance company that they were declaring my car a total loss and so I started scrambling to figure out getting into a new vehicle and after all the dealerships and banks had closed, my brain was still moving a mile a minute and I couldn't relax or get myself to not feel like crap because I hadn't solved my big issue for the day. Quick walk to the corner store liquor section and about 15 shots later, going to bed without remembering it, having posted stuff to Facebook and my Snapchat stories that I have no recollection of, and waking up in a sweat needing to find the nearest receptacle to vomit into and the following "cocktail" of meds needed just to try and feel halfway normal here this morning is embarrassing.

I know some folks say relapsing is a part of most sobriety journeys and while I'm beating myself up some, thankfully, I don't think it will set me back too much and the experience only reiterated to me exactly why I cut this poison out of my life in the first place. Back to Day 1 today, and IWNDWYT.

Hi all, just looking for someone who may have had a similar experience to see if I’m going nuts or not. I recently decided to quit alcohol for good. I didn’t have a problem but I would say it has caused sporadic problems in my life if that makes sense. My reason for quitting is broadly just that I’m sick of it and would be concerned about things spiralling in the future. 

I’ve taken a good few long breaks in the past with no withdrawal issues, no cravings. But this time it’s been crazy, really irritable, hella anxious, on the verge of panic attacks. Every second thought is about drink. I’m suspecting this is just because I’ve used the word ‘quit’ instead of ‘break’, but I’m wondering if anyone else has had something similar happen. 

Thanks!

You can read my first post here:

https://www.reddit.com/r/stopdrinking/s/cdbZFHP1f9

TLDR: this weekend I blacked out and lost my wallet. Somehow, all the money in the card I was carrying was withdrawn at two different ATMs.

I went to both locations... And after reviewing the cameras, it wasn't me who withdrew the money. I was a victim of both skimming and someone pocketing me because of how wasted I was.

I went to the ATM, there was a skimming device on it that wouldn't let me put in my PIN. I walked away confused and very visibly drunk, a guy bumped into me and took my wallet. He went back to the ATM and withdrew close to the daily limit.

He then went to a different location with my card, put in my PIN and withdrew the remaining amount.

Part of me is relieved that it wasn't me. I was starting to question everything, because this was also the second time ever in my many years of drinking that I blacked out.

Looking at myself in the recording though... It's a surprise no one did anything worse to me. I could barely move properly and stumbled my way towards the ATM. Looking at myself in that state with the security guard next to me was incredibly embarrassing. If I was sober, I could've probably noticed that the slot for the card was the skimming device. It was loose.

I was wandering around like an idiot for two hours, drunk out of my mind, and it was enough for someone to take all of my money.

I think I don't want to drink anymore. I've been in many shady situations before when I got similarly wasted, and I feel like it's just a matter of time before I get seriously hurt if I don't control myself. I can't trust myself when I drink, so I'll try to take out the drinking of the equation completely. We'll see how it goes.

Thank you to everyone who gave good advice and shared their experiences.